Conflict Management Seminar Workbook

Copyright © 2007: Property of Azusa Pacific University 1

ConflictManagement


Conflict Consulting Team

Ohireime Oiseomoede Ojeomogha [OJ]Resident Assistant at California State University Sacramento and San Bernardino BA in Organizational CommunicationCalifornia State University Sacramento: May 2006MA in Human Resource Organization Development: Azusa Pacific University: December 2009

Jessica EnglandUndergraduate Admissions Counselor, Azusa Pacific UniversityBA in Business Administration,Azusa Pacific University: May 2007 MA in HR & Organizational Development,Azusa Pacific University: December 2011

Conflict is simply a reality.


Table of Contents

Conflict Management Seminar Goals 4

Objectives 4

Conflict Exercise 5

What is Conflict; Understanding Options 7

Thomas Kilman Conflict Resolution Grid 9

Conflict Engagement Styles 13

Lens of Understanding 14

Position-based Conflict Management 17

Go Below the Line 18

Interest-based Conflict Management 19

Action Plan 20

Recap 21

Conflict Styles Survey 22

Personal Notes 37

Resources 38


Conflict Management Seminar Goals:

This seminar can be used as an employee development tool for understanding how to work more effectively with different types of personalities, specifically where conflicts are likely to arise.

Conflict management skills can be applied in the work place incorporating all levels of employees and management.

The skills can be transferable to the enrichment of relationships inside and outside of the workplace.

Teaches how to deal with conflict by identifying intent, motive, and behavior.

Objectives: Define conflict and conflict management. Understand how people instinctively react to conflict. Recognize you have a choice in your response. Identify your conflict style and interpret it based on

individual circumstances. Comprehend the “Lens of Understanding.” Be able to classify your’s and other people’s conflict

engagement style. Build an action plan based on your goal for listening,

speaking, and understanding within the conflict. Figure out how to find common interests in order to

resolve the disagreement.

Rayner and Keashley calculate that in an

organization of 1,000 people, if

25% of those

bullied leave, the


Conflict Exercise: Split into groups of five people.

Spend three minutes trying to resolve the conflict.

Each group member should choose a personality response/role. [person named in scenario, conflict resolution manager, confrontational and opinionated, complainer, non-responder, disagree with everything, etc]

Scenarios for Three Teams:

Scenario 1:

Jerry the supervisor of the finance and accounting department at company AXY is currently in a relationship with his subordinate Cheryl. It is no secret that the two have been recently dating and although the organization frowns on fraternizing there is no strict policy against it. There is no word via the grape vine that the relationship between Cheryl and Jerry, has given her an advantage in getting information about developmental opportunities as well as easy assignments. Cheryl is at a loss at why her colleagues are hostile towards her and the general moral at the finance and accounting department is down.


Scenarios for Three Teams: Scenario 2:

Bill is unimpressed with the hostile environment and he believes that the people around him play a role in creating that environment. He usually communicates on a weekly basis with his personal coach Tim as a way to reduce his stress. Frustrated with the events of Tuesday, Bill sends an email to his coach naming and complaining about the people in his work environment. However, he accidentally pushes “send all” and it circulates to all the employees including management. The next day he arrives at work and is called in by Sarah his manager. She made copies of the comments he thought he had sent to only his coach.

Scenario 3:

Diversity training is done every year at Biggs based in Los Angeles and is seen by the organization to give them a strategic advantage. The diversity trainer, a recent graduate from an Ivy League school, began the training by playing videos, running case scenarios, and other diversity tools. He seemed confident in his training. However, as soon as he left, issues of differences arouse. Conflict became the norm and employees who were a part of the diversity training accused each other about their ignorance and prejudice. The CEO David Biggswell wants the issues resolved quickly because productivity is at an all time low and he fears more problems may arise.


What is Conflict?

Conflict is neither a necessary evil nor a signal of defeat. It is simply a reality. Wherever there are people there is conflict. The real issue is not to avoid it, but learn how to manage it.

Conflict: When two or more people attempt to occupy the same space at the same time: physically, emotionally, or intellectually.

Initial / Instinctive Reactions to Conflict: Fight Freeze Flight

Understanding Options Exercise:Connect all of the dots below without lifting your pen.

∙ ∙ ∙∙ ∙ ∙∙ ∙ ∙


Understanding Options Exercise Answer:

∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙* ∙ ∙ ∙Two other creative options:

1.____________________________________

2.____________________________________

Opportunity or Danger: Conflicts arise over facts, methods, values, and

goals. If you choose resentment: it’s like drinking poison

and hoping the other person dies.


Your Choice:

We can choose to respond to conflict in the following manners:

A_____________ A_____________ C_____________ C_____________ C_____________

Thomas Kilman Conflict Resolution Grid: How a person responds to conflict depends on the

value placed on the relationship, mercy, justice, the issue at hand and interests.

Value of Relationship

Importance Placed on Mercy

Response to Other’s Interest

Val

ue o

f Is

sue

Nee

d fo

r Ju

stic

e

Ach

ieve

men

t of

Ow

n In

tere

st

AvoidAvoid AccommodateAccommodate

CompromiseCompromise

CompeteCompete CollaborateCollaborate

Researcher Charlotte Rayner

and Loraleigh Keashley

estimate that 25% of victims

and 20% of witnesses of

bullying leave their jobs,


Avoid:Do I avoid it or do something about it?

Most commonly used style of conflict management.

Depends on the value of the relationship vs. the value of the issue.

The conflict will typically resurface:o ____________________________o ____________________________o ____________________________

Avoiding takes less effort in the short-run, but has the longest life-expectancy, with the most cost.

Increases ________________ level. Results in ________________ interactions. Fosters low _______________. Reasons why avoiding the issue may be a good

option:o ____________________________o ____________________________o ____________________________

Notes:

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


Accommodate:The value of the relationship is the only thing that matters.

The person who cares the least typically has the most power.

Example of battered spouses’ response to question. When is it appropriate:

o When the issues are unimportant compared to the value of the relationship.

o When you are clearly in the wrong. When is it inappropriate:

o Manipulation when there is a high need for acceptance.

o Belief that accommodation will allow for needs to be met.

o Breeds irresponsibility.

Compete:There is very high concern for personal interests or needs.

Willing to damage or destroy the relationship for the issue.

Goal may not be to harm others, but willing to sacrifice whatever is necessary to achieve personal goals.

Competition requires:o ____________________________________o ____________________________________o ____________________________________

Appropriate:o ____________________________________o ____________________________________

A study of National Hockey League games

played between 1987 and 1992

showed that the more fights teams were in, the more games they lost.


Compromise:Tolerance is key!

To some degree both positions are maintained and lost.

Neither side is completely satisfied, but it works. When is it appropriate:

o No evil intent is involved.o Difficult to determine a clear-cut solution.o Causes the least amount of harm to the

relationship.

Collaborate:.Requires skill in managing conflict.

Seeks to preserve both the relationship and th value of the issue at hand.

Not all issues are worth “going to the mat.” Used when teamwork is more productive than

compromise or competition. Sincere effort to work with others for a mutually

satisfactory solution. Problem:

o May be more interested in individual’s interest than the company’s.

o Tends to overlook underlying factors causing the conflict.

Not always possible or even desirableo Some parties simply do not care about or

expect a future relationship.

Notes:_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

People want to be heard.


Conflict Engagement Styles:There are 10 specific behavior patterns that sane people resort to when they feel threatened or thwarted, that represent their struggle with or withdrawal from undesired circumstances.

Tank : confrontational, pointed, angry, ultimately pushy and aggressive behavior towards others.

Sniper : employs the use of rude comments, biting sarcasm or well-timed eye roll, and in the end makes you look foolish.

Grenade : brief period of calm, explodes into unfocused ranting and raving with things typically unrelated to the present work circumstances.

Know-it-all : seldom in doubt; low tolerance when corrected or contradicted and blames others when things go wrong.

Think-they-know-it-all : primarily seeking the attention of others and unlike the know-it-all cannot fool people all the time.

Yes Person : avoids confrontation, typically over commits to work task and can’t accomplish it all because of time constraints.

Maybe Person : procrastinates and waits in the hopes of getting a better choice, but in the end decision makes itself.

Nothing Person : worse than the maybe person he/she gives no feedback.

No Person : mild mannered…fights a never ending battle for futility, hopelessness and despair.

Whiner : complains about everything…seem helpless, overwhelmed and not measuring up to their standards of perfection.


Lens of Understanding:Understanding helps you communicate effectively, prevent future conflict, and resolve current conflict before it gets out of hand.

Observe the level of assertiveness: o Passive to aggressive.

Patterns to what people focus on in any given situation:

o Task vs. people Figure out the motive:

o Get the __________ Doneo Get the __________ Righto Get Along with _____________o Get Appreciation from ___________

Identify the behaviors:o Based on top-priority in any moment

of time.o When the intent isn’t being fulfilled,

and there is fear that it won’t be completed with the original intent, the person’s behavior changes and becomes one of the following:

Controlling Perfectionist Approval Seeking Attention Getting

Threatened Intent turns into an extreme behavior:

o Tank, Sniper, Grenade, Know-it-all, Think-they-know-it-all, Yes Person, Maybe Person, Nothing Person, No Person, or Whiner.


Assertiveness Assertiveness & Focus& Focus

Normal ZoneNormal Zone

People FocusPeople Focus

Task FocusTask Focus

AggressiveAggressivePassivePassive

MotivesMotives


Get It Right Get It Done

Get AppreciatedGet Along




Passive vs. Aggressive

Task vs. People

Get it RightGet it DoneGet Along

Get Appreciated








ControllingControlling

Attention Attention GettingGetting

ApprovalApprovalSeekingSeeking

PerfectionistPerfectionist

Gray ZoneGray Zone

BehaviorsBehaviors

BehaviorsBehaviors

NormalNormal ZoneZone






ControllingControlling

AttentionAttentionGettingGetting

ApprovalApprovalSeekingSeeking

PerfectionistPerfectionist

Gray ZoneGray Zone

BehaviorsBehaviors

TANKTANK

SNIPERSNIPER

KNOWKNOW--ITIT--ALLALL

GRENADEGRENADE

SNIPERSNIPER

THINKTHINK--THEYTHEY--KNOWKNOW--ITIT--ALLALL

MAYBEMAYBEPersonPerson

YESYESPersonPerson

NOTHINGNOTHINGPersonPerson

NOTHINGNOTHINGPersonPerson

NONOPersonPerson

WHINERWHINER

Gray Zone of Behaviors:

PerfectionistControllingApproval Seeking

Attention Getting

Thwarted Intent Extreme

Behaviors:Tank, Sniper,

Grenade, Know-it-all, Think-

they-know-it-all,


Position-based Conflict Management:When people differ they usually identify an ___________ over which they differ and take a ___________________ on it.

One or both sides can walk away, perhaps ____________ the conflict.

One or both sides can _____________________, thereby eliminating the conflict.

One or both sides can ________________, which escalates the conflict.

One or both sides can _____________________ their position, perhaps tempering the conflict.

Both sides can give the dispute to someone else for a decision which will decide the matter but which may not resolve the conflict.

EscalateEscalate EscalateEscalate

PositionPosition PositionPositionIssueIssue(Conflict)(Conflict)

InterestsInterests InterestsInterests

No SolutionNo SolutionEnd of RelationshipEnd of Relationship

Jerk-O-Meter is a device invented by Anmol Maden

that uses electronic speech

analysis to provide instant feedback to the person speaking

on factors including stress,


Go Below the Line The focus of positional-based conflict

management is __________________________ / _______________________________________.

In a collaborative, consensual process, the key is to bring interests into the discussion… to ________________________________________!

Moving from __________________ to _________________ gives the freedom to ________________________________________.

EscalateEscalate EscalateEscalate

PositionPosition PositionPositionIssueIssue(Conflict)(Conflict)

InterestsInterests InterestsInterests

Maintain RelationshipMaintain RelationshipConflict ResolvedConflict Resolved

No SolutionNo SolutionEnd of RelationshipEnd of Relationship

People aren’t completely

rational; don’t ignore emotions.


Interest-based Conflict Management: The focus moves from the ______________ to the

_________________________. Allows potential for:

o Developing better, more satisfying agreements.

o Creating greater commitment to an agreement.

o Strengthening the parties’ relationships.

o Creating greater organizational effectiveness.

The Shift:

ISSUEISSUE

PROBLEMPROBLEM

Address problems not personalities.


Action Plan:How do you learn to understand and be understood:

Listen with the intent of understanding:o Blend visibly & audibly.o Backtrack some of their words.o Clarify meaning.o Summarize what you heard.o Confirm to see if you are correct.

Speak with the intent to be understood:o Monitor your tone of voice.o State a positive intent.o Tactfully interrupt any interruptions.o Tell your side in truth.o Be ready to listen again.

Reach a deeper understanding by identifying _________________ and ___________________.

P.E.: ______________ and _______________ the best of others.

Notes:

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

P.O.A.


Recap: Conflict is simply a reality when two or more people

attempt to occupy the same space at the same time:o Physically.o Emotionally.o Intellectually.

Fight, Freeze, or Flight. Conflict represents opportunity and danger. Thomas Kilman Conflict Resolution Grid:

o Avoid.o Accommodate.o Compete.o Compromise.o Collaborate.

Conflict Engagement Styles:o Tank, Sniper, Grenade, Know-it-all, Think-they-

know-it-all, Yes Person, Maybe Person, Nothing Person, No Person, and Whiner.

The Dr.’s Rick: Lens of Understanding.o Assertiveness and focus.o Motives.o Behaviors.o Thwarted Intentions.

Move from Position-based to Interest-based Conflict Management: GO BELOW THE LINE!

Devise a Plan of Action:o Listen to understand.o Speak to be understood.o Project and expect the best of others.


CONFLICT STYLES SURVEY

Norman Shawchuch, Ph.D. (1983)

Read Carefully…

In your organization you are active in one or more committees, groups or departments which are responsible for significant programs. The group(s) to which you belong must meet regularly to make decisions. In addition, all group members must assume responsibilities for carrying out the decisions.

Following are twelve situations you encounter; in some of the situations you are the group’s leader, in others you are not the leader. For each situation you have five possible behavioral responses. Please study each situation and the possible responses carefully, then CIRCLE THE LETTER OF THE RESPONSE which you think would most closely describe your behavioral response to the situation.

As you complete the survey, please remember this is NOT a test. There are no right or wrong responses. The survey will be helpful to you only to the extent that you circle the responses which would be most characteristic of your conflict management behavior in that particular situation.

CIRLE ONLY ONE CHOICE FOR EACH SITUATION!


SITUATION NO 1:

YOU HEAD A TASK FORCE APPOINTED TO PLAN A LARGE

CONFERENCE. ONE MEMBER HAS IDEAS VERY DIFFERENT

FROM THOSE SUPPORSTED BY THE REST OF THE GROUP.

HE/SHE REFUSES TO GIVE IN EVEN A LITTLE BIT. TIME IS

RUNNING OUT.

You would: (Circle one)

A. Meet privately with the differing member to let him know you

were not angry because of his/ her position and encourage

him/ her; for the sake of future relationships to become more

flexible.

B. Ask the differing member to state why his/ her ideas would

result in a better conference. If he/ she was unable to

convince the group you would urge him/ her to go along with

the group’s plan.

C. State that as leader of the group you do not want to make a

unilateral decision, and call for a secret vote on the two plans.

D. Point out that much time had been spent in an attempt to

resolve the differences and, since the majority of the group

was in agreement; move ahead with the group’s plan.

E. Ask the differing member to list points of disagreement with

the group’s plan, and to define why his/ her ideas would

result in a better conference. Then you would provide a

process for the group to reevaluate its own plan in light of the

information.


SITUATION NO 2:

FROM YOUR POINT OF VIEW THE CHARIPERSON OF YOUR

COMMITTEE HAS INAPPROPRIATELY USED HIS/ HER

POSITION TO INFLUENCE A DECISION WITH WHICH YOU

STRONGLY DISAGREE.


A. Point out your perceptions to the group encouraging

others to also reflect on the process by which the decision

was reached. Press for policies to prohibit future

inappropriate use of the chair’s position.

B. Let the chairperson railroad the decision and simply let

the group live with the results, since they allowed the

chairperson such freedom.

C. Challenge the inappropriate behavior of the chairperson

and move for a recall of the decision.

D. State your perceptions and ask the chairperson to defend

the behavior. If after the defense you were still convince

the chair’s position had been used to influence the

decision, you would move for a recall of the decision.

E. Rather than putting the chairperson “on the spot” in front

of the group, you would bite your tongue and keep your

feelings to yourself.


SITUATION NO 3:

YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR A PROGRAM WHICH IS

STRONGLY SUPPORTED THROUGHOUT THE

ORGANIZATION, YOU HAVE ANNOUNCED YOUR PLANS

FOR THE COMING YEAR AND ARE BEING STRONGLY

OPPOSED BY ANOTHER GROUP WHOSE OWN PROGRAM

HAS PROVEN INEFFECTIVE.


A. Prepare convincing information to support the need for

your program ideas, communicate this to the entire

organization, and proceed with your program as planned.

B. Feel your long-term relationship with the opposing group

was more important than your program plans, and

withdraw your plans.

C. Welcome the conflict as an opportunity to identify shared

concerns and goals, and to promote better working

relationships with the opposing group.

D. Attempt to find a solution that everyone could live with, by

asking for an opinion by the top officials.

E. Meet with the group to explain your rationale for planning

your program, inquire into the reason for their opposition,

and seek middle ground agreements.


SITUATION NO 4:

YOUR GROUP HAS MET OFTEN TO WORK ON PLANS FOR

THE COMING YEAR. THERE IS MUCH DISAGREEMENT

BETWEEN CERTAIN MEMBERS. YOU ARE AWARE

CONFLICT IS BREWING.


A. Encourage the group to settle their differences so they

might not interfere with the planning.

B. Instruct the parties to get the differences out on the table

in order that the entire group might search for mutually

acceptable solutions.

C. Tell them they don’t have to like each other, but they must

work together to get the planning done.

D. Reduce the tensions by allowing more time for informal

conversation and schedule more breaks during the

meetings to allow persons to get away from the work for a

few minutes.

E. Try to avoid open confrontation by sensing where persons

are in relation to the issues and steering the discussion to

consider middle ground alternatives.


SITUATION NO 5:

YOU SERVE ON A STAFF OF THREE PERSONS. THE HEAD

OF THE STAFF IS INSENSITIVE AND AUTOCRATIC. THE

OTHER MEMBER IS VERY ANGRY. IT IS ONLY A MATTER OF

TIME BEFORE HOSTILITIES WILL OCCUR BETWEEN THEM.


A. Tell them their behavior is interfering with staff

effectiveness, insisting they lay their personal animosities

aside and begin putting their energies activity.

B. Remain silent whenever they begin to argue, hoping they

would work it out, or that the angry staff member would be

able to fend for him/ herself.

C. Encourage them to lay their hostilities aside since conflict

of this intensity might leave deep personal scars.

D. Try to avoid outright, hostile confrontation by emphasizing

the need to reach agreement on roles and responsibilities

that everyone could live with.

E. Share your observations of their behavior, ask each of

them to state their own opinions, and press for a

redefinition of working relationships to reduce the

hostilities.


SITUATION NO 6:

AFTER MUCH CONFLICT, TWO GROUPS WITHIN THE

CONGRRGATION HAVE DEADLOCKED OVER PROPOSED

USE OF SOME OF THE CHURCH BUILDING. YOU HAVE

BEEN REQUESTING TO MEET WITH THEM TO ASSIST IN

BREAKING THE DEADLOCK.


A. Consider both sides of the agreement before stating your

solution to the problem.

B. Encourage an open airing of their feelings and attempt to

get the group to decide on a compromise plan everyone

could live with.

C. Encourage them to work through their differences, being

careful not to cause unnecessary pain for themselves or

the congregation.

D. Remind them that as an “outsider” you actually could do

very little to solve the problem, but you were willing to

help in whatever way you could.

E. Lead a process to allow airing of the differences, and to

search for a naturally satisfactory alternative.


SITUATION NO 7:

INFLUENTIAL MEMBERS HAVE BECOME DISSATISFIED

WITH YOUR LEADERSHIP AND ARE INSISTING YOU

RESIGN. SOME ARE THREATENING TO LEAVE IF YOU DO

NOT. OTHERS ARE SUPPORTING YOUPRIVATELY, BUT ARE

TAKING NO PUBLIC STAND.


A. Inform the group you have no intention of resigning, and

you want an open airing of the grievances in order that

some middle ground may be reached.

B. Assume the public silence of some members indicates

consent, and not wanting this group to lose any members;

you would resign.

C. Determine the number demanding your resignation, and

of your silent supporters. Having decided the majority was

not calling for your resignation, you would announce your

intention to stay.

D. Go to those opposing you to tell them you still care about

them, and do whatever you could to restore good

relationships.

E. Arrange a meeting with your opponents and supporters to

discuss and search for ways to reduce the tensions and

restore working relationships.


SITUATION NO 8:

YOUR SECRETARY, A RESPECTED MEMBER OF YOUR

CHURCH, HAS WORKED FOR YOU FOR ONE YEAR. THE

QUALITY OF WORK IS VERY UNSATISFACTORY. YOU ARE

GETTING A GROWING NUMBER OF COMPLAINTS.


A. Encourage your secretary to identify anything in the office

situation that may be adding to the problem, and agree

upon steps to correct the situation.

B. Increase compliments for task satisfactory done gently

pointing out trouble spots.

C. Live with the situation a while longer, hoping your

secretary would begin to catch on to the office work.

D. Point out the problems with work performance, and if after

a reasonable time it was still unsatisfactory, you would fire

him/ her.

E. State your disapproval with the performance asking for

your secretary’s help to outline areas in which change

was necessary, and steps to bring about improved

performance.


SITUATION NO 9:

YOUR GROUP IS CARRYING ON A VERY EFFECTIVE

PROGRAM. SOME MEMBERS ARE ADVOCATING CERTAIN

CHANGES BUT OTHERS ARE DECLARING THE CHANGES

WILL WEAKEN THE PROGRAM. TENSIONS ARE RISING.

YOU HAVE NO STRONG FEELINGS EITHER WAY.


A. Encourage the group to settle their differences, being

careful no one is hurt in the process.

B. Listen to all sides of the issue before deciding what steps

to take to resolve the conflict.

C. Keep the opposing groups from outright confrontation by

suggesting middle of the road alternatives. If this failed,

you would establish ground rules for avoiding deadlocks.

D. Bring the opposing sides together, define the issues as

you see them, and suggest a process for resolving the

conflict.

E. Allow the group to settle the matter on its own.


SITUATION NO 10:

A CLOSE FRIEND WITH WHOM YOU WORK WITH IS

PUSHING FOR A DECISION WHICH YOU BELIEVE IS

POTENTIALLY DAMAGING TO THE WORK OF THE ENTIRE

ORGANIZATION.


A. Demonstrate your happiness with his/ her position by

refusing to discuss the matter at all.

B. Refrain from stating how strongly you disagree, hoping

he/ she would change without being pushed to do so.

C. Openly express your position on the matter attempting to

negotiate a position both of you could live with.

D. State your position on the matter attempting to negotiate

a position both of you could live with.

E. State exactly why you think his/ her position is

unreasonable and dangerous, urging him/ her to change

the position.


SITUATION NO 11:

YOU ARE A MEMBER OF A TASK FORCE APPOINTED TO

PLAN A LARGE CONFERENCE. YOU HAVE IDEAS VERY

DIFFERENT FROM THE REST OF THE GROUP, AND ARE

CONVINCED YOUR PLAN WILL RESULT IN A BETTER

CONFERENCE.


A. Disagree but not argue since you are one against many.

Neither would you feel obligated to publicly support their

plan.

B. Encourage the group to review both plans, identify points

of agreement and disagreement, and press for

alternatives to reflect the best features of both.

C. Use all of the influence you had in the group to get your

ideas incorporated into the final plan.

D. Outline your disagreements with the group’s ideas and

offer to join with them in building a compromise plan.

E. Go along with their ideas not wanting to block the group’s

work simply because you were not personally pleased

with their plan.


SITUATION NO 12:

YOU HEAD A COMMITTEE WHOSE EFFECTIVENESS

DEPENDS UPON THE COOPERATION OF ANOTHER GROUP

ENGAGED IN POWER AND AUTHORITYSTRUGGLES WITH

TOP LEADERS. THE CONFLICT IS AFFECTING THEIR

PROGRAM, AND YOURS.


A. Bring all the parties together to discuss the situation,

seeing to it that the needs of your group were included in

any agreement which was negotiated between the other

group and top leaders.

B. Strengthen your relationship with the other group by

expressing understanding of their position, while at the

same time being careful not to hurt the relationships with

top leaders.

C. Stay out of the conflict by structuring your program to be

less dependent upon the support of the other group.

D. Bring the parties together to explain how the conflict was

affecting your own program, and offer to mediate a

mutually acceptable resolution to the conflict.

E. Meet with the group to point out that your own program

was being adversely affected by their conflict with the top

leaders, and press for immediate solutions to the

problem.


HOW TO SCORES THE SURVEY OF YOUR CONFLICT STYLES…

Order and Range of Style Preferences

1. On FIGURE 1, circle the same letter for each situation that you circled in your survey. (This designates the CONFLICT STYLE you chose for each situation.)

2. TOTAL the number of choices (circles) for each CONFLICT STYLE and enter the sub-totals in the spaces provided for these SCORES.

3. Transfer these scores onto the SCORE column of FIGURE 2, in descending order of magnitude.

FIGURE 2 now provides you with two important insights into your conflict behavior:

1. A rank ordering of your CONFLICT STYLES PREFERENCES. The style receiving the highest score is the style you prefer most, etc.

2. The RANGE OF STYLES, or number of styles, you are able and / or willing to utilize.

These two pieces of information say something about your general philosophy and orientation toward conflict. For example, the style receiving the highest scores will tend to be your preferred conflict behavior, the style with which you feel the latest tension. The style receiving the second highest scores will tend to be the style you will “fall back on” as the conflict tensions increase.

The number of times you chose each style suggests the strength of preference you give to each style.


SITUATIONS RESPONSE CHOICES#1 E A C D B#2 A E B C D#3 C B D A E#4 B D A C E#5 E C B A D#6 E C D A B#7 E D B C A#8 A B C D E#9 D A E B C#10 C B A E D#11 B E A C D#12 D B C E ASCORES

Co

llabo

ratin

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Acc

omm

odat

ing

Avo

idin

g

Co

mpe

ting

Co

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omis

eCONFLICT STYLES

Figure 1

ORDER OF YOUR STYLE PREFERENCES

CHOICE STYLE SCORE

1ST

2ND

3RD

4TH

5TH

Figure 2


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Knowledge is power.

Francis Bacon

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Resources

Lowry, R.L. & Meyers, R.W. (1991). Conflict Management and Couselign (Resources for Chrsitian Counseling). Nashville: W Publishing Group.

Brinkman, R. & Kirschner R. (2004). Dealing With People You Can’t Stand: How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst. San Francisco: McGraw-Hill Companies.

Sutton, R.I. (2007). The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn’t. Canada: Sphere.

Robbins, S.P. (2002). The Truth About Managing People…And Nothing But the Truth. Boston: FT Press.