Conflict strategy for nice people

Conflict Strategy for

Nice People

Conflict Strategy for Nice PeopleOur Main Source

Adapted from “Conflict Strategies for Nice People”

HBR.org 13/12/25

by

Dr. Liane Davey

Knightsbridge Human Capital Solutions

Conflict Strategy for Nice PeopleIntroduction - Main questions

Do you value friendly relations with your

colleagues?

Are you proud of being a nice person who would

never pick a fight?

Conflict Strategy for Nice PeopleIntroduction - Main questions

Unfortunately, if your answer is always ‘yes”, you might be just as responsible for group

dysfunction as your more combative team members.

That’s because it’s a problem when you shy away from

open, healthy conflict about the issues.

If you think you’re “taking one for the team” by not rocking

the boat, you’re deluding yourself.

Conflict Strategy for Nice PeopleImportant

• Teams need conflict to function effectively.

• Conflict allows the team to come to terms with difficult situations, to synthesize diverse perspectives, and to make sure solutions are well thought-out.

Conflict Strategy for Nice PeopleConflict – Main benefit

• Conflict is uncomfortable, but it is the source of true innovation and also a critical process in identifying and mitigating risks.

Conflict Strategy for Nice PeopleConflict – Pulling your punches

• Sure, pulling your punches might help you to maintain your self-image as a nice person, but you do so at the cost of missing the opportunity:– to share your thoughts and

perception about a specific action or outside behavior,

– to learn new life approaches and different point-of-views through conflict situations.

– to identify high risk situations.

Conflict Strategy for Nice PeopleConflict – What should we do?

• To overcome these problems, we need a new definition of nice.

• In this version of nice, you surface your differences of opinion, you discuss the uncomfortable issues, and you put things on the table where they can help your team move forward.

Conflict Strategy for Nice PeopleStrategy 01 – Use a question when disagreeing

• When you need to disagree with someone, express your contrary opinion asking your teammate a question.

• Asking a question will engage your teammate in a problem solving situation, which is collaborative instead of combative.

Conflict Strategy for Nice PeopleStrategy 02 – Use hypotheticals

• When facing a conflict learn to use a useful tactic of asking hypothetical situations to let your teammate imagining.

• If you are meeting resistance to your ideas, try asking your teammates to imagine a different scenario.

Conflict Strategy for Nice PeopleStrategy 03 – Ask about the impact

• If you are concerned about a proposed course of action, ask your teammates to think through the impact of implementing their plan.

Conflict Strategy for Nice PeopleStrategy 04 – Discuss the underlying issue

• If you disagree with a proposed course of action, instead of complaining about the solution, start by trying to understand what is behind the suggestion.

• If you understand the reasoning, you might be able to find another way to accomplish the same goal.

Conflict Strategy for Nice PeopleStrategy 05 – Ask for help

• If a situation is really difficult to deal with, ask another teammate to help you to find an alternative or an agreement that suits both involved parts.

Conflict Strategy for Nice PeopleConclusion

• Conflict is critical to team effectiveness.

• Diversity of thinking on a team is the source of innovation and growth.

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