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How to start and maintain conversations in social settings
Citation preview
TRAINING
Conversational Training: How to start and maintain conversations in
social settings
A joint presentation by Jonathan McKenna
and Mike Williams
TRAINING
PURPOSE:• To explain the
importance of good conversational skills
• To give tips to better yourself as a conversationalist, ripe with self-confidence
• To practice good conversation habits
• To give you ideas for future self-improvement
TRAINING
PurposeThe point of this training is not to embarrass anyone or to point out
anyone’s flaws, but rather to make us more confident and social
individuals, in turn leading to more positive relationships
TRAINING
Introduction
• The ability to start and maintain a conversation with little effort is a key component to your personal and professional life
• Good communication skills displays an air intelligence and self-confidence that is crucial to developing relationships
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Introduction: Disclaimer!
Those who find it harder to mingle are not necessarily less intelligent, but they simply need to develop a
comfort level in unfamiliar situations as to flourish in a social
environment
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The first step: Self-Confidence
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Self-confidence: Eye contact
• Eye contact-this will promote self-confidence, and give an assuredness to what you’re saying
• This will be recognized by the other(s) in the conversation
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Self-confidence: Diction• ENUNCIATE!• Mumbling ruins a conversation’s flow • It shows a lack of interest, energy
and/or passion from the one mumbling• If someone needs to keep asking
someone to repeat themselves, they will become frustrated and less apt to continue talking to that person
TRAINING
Self-confidence: Pacing• Keep a calm, even pace in conversation• If you’re• a fast talker, pay close attention to
your sentences and slow them down• Give people time to digest what you
said, and leave pauses for them to interject at appropriate times
• Know when to listen/sit back in the conversation
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Self-confidence: Tonality• Consistent monotony can make
the other conversationalist lose focus or interest
• People speak in monotone if the topic is not something they are particularly passionate about: be cognizant of your tone!
• By speaking with varied tonality, you show that you are interested invested in what you are saying
TRAINING
Self-confidence: Odds n’ ends
• Always open with a smile, it breaks down the first wall
• Have a firm, but not hard, handshake• Stay loose, don’t worry about performing…you
don’t always need to make someone else laugh• Flush bad experiences
– You’re not always going to rub people the right way, so don’t let it make you apprehensive when approaching a conversation
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Understand your audience
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Understand your audience: manners
• Always start with good manners• Good manners will never put people off,
however, bad manners can give a bad first impression
• Don’t swear (first)• The other person will dictate how formal you
should be acting…let them be the one to bring the level of manners and formality to a more casual state
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Understand your audience: research
• Find out their interests/hobbies• Educate yourself on what kind of
demeanor the person has• It is always good to find out if
someone knows the person you are going to meet ahead of time– TSR, account manager, other employee,
etc
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Understand your audience: paying attention
• After making the initial approach, listen intently and with genuine interest to their response
• Being a good listener will allow for further conversation– Follow-up questions– Share similar, interesting or funny
experiences
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Understand your audience: paying attention
• People want to continue conversations with people who seem to care about their responses and share their passion
• Pay attention to the other’s body language– If they have a closed posture or they’re checking
their watch/looking around, you know you are not captivating to them
– Talk about open body language on the converse
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Understand your audience: mirroring
• Eye contact• Body language/demeanor• Leaning• Hands
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Practice
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Practice: With whom?
Practice with people you don’t particularly know inside and out,
such as co-workers, management, contacts…what other
opportunities?
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Practice: Conversation topics
• Stay up-to-date on current events so that you always have something to talk about
• Keep a mental list of good conversation topics in case all else fails•A little preparation goes a long way •Know when you’ve exhausted them
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Practice: Conversation topics
• People often like to talk about themselves, so ask questions accordingly!
• This goes back to preparation (which in turn comes across as self-confidence): know your audience– Ask about their family, job, hobby
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Practice: self-confidence
• Tonality• Diction• Pace• Eye contact• Practicing these things will lead to
more comfort in unfamiliar situations, in turn bolstering your self-confidence
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Practice: eliminating filler
• Try to rid your speaking of filler words like “uhh” and “umm” as they ruin conversation flow
• Filler words also show discomfort • Don’t be afraid of short pauses,
getting comfortable with them is a key step in mastering self-confidence
TRAINING
Practice: handshakes
• Use your right hand• Square your body• Find a medium grip• Pay attention to your
pumps (1-3)
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Game: One-word story• Give me a title of a made-up story • Each person gives one word of the
story, following in proper grammatical sequence and no hesitation
• Continue until the story reaches a conclusion
• The story can takes twists and turns, but it should include the main idea of the title
TRAINING
Conclusion
• Questions?• Comments?• Stories?