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TRAINING Conversational Training: How to start and maintain conversations in social settings A joint presentation by Jonathan McKenna and Mike Williams

Conversational Training

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How to start and maintain conversations in social settings

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Page 1: Conversational Training

TRAINING

Conversational Training: How to start and maintain conversations in

social settings

A joint presentation by Jonathan McKenna

and Mike Williams

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TRAINING

PURPOSE:• To explain the

importance of good conversational skills

• To give tips to better yourself as a conversationalist, ripe with self-confidence

• To practice good conversation habits

• To give you ideas for future self-improvement

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PurposeThe point of this training is not to embarrass anyone or to point out

anyone’s flaws, but rather to make us more confident and social

individuals, in turn leading to more positive relationships

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Introduction

• The ability to start and maintain a conversation with little effort is a key component to your personal and professional life

• Good communication skills displays an air intelligence and self-confidence that is crucial to developing relationships

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Introduction: Disclaimer!

Those who find it harder to mingle are not necessarily less intelligent, but they simply need to develop a

comfort level in unfamiliar situations as to flourish in a social

environment

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The first step: Self-Confidence

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Self-confidence: Eye contact

• Eye contact-this will promote self-confidence, and give an assuredness to what you’re saying

• This will be recognized by the other(s) in the conversation

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Self-confidence: Diction• ENUNCIATE!• Mumbling ruins a conversation’s flow • It shows a lack of interest, energy

and/or passion from the one mumbling• If someone needs to keep asking

someone to repeat themselves, they will become frustrated and less apt to continue talking to that person

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Self-confidence: Pacing• Keep a calm, even pace in conversation• If you’re• a fast talker, pay close attention to

your sentences and slow them down• Give people time to digest what you

said, and leave pauses for them to interject at appropriate times

• Know when to listen/sit back in the conversation

Jonathan
Talk about the stereotype of the fast talking buisness guy
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Self-confidence: Tonality• Consistent monotony can make

the other conversationalist lose focus or interest

• People speak in monotone if the topic is not something they are particularly passionate about: be cognizant of your tone!

• By speaking with varied tonality, you show that you are interested invested in what you are saying

Jonathan
Speak about the teacher from Ferris Bueller and his ability to hold an audience
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Self-confidence: Odds n’ ends

• Always open with a smile, it breaks down the first wall

• Have a firm, but not hard, handshake• Stay loose, don’t worry about performing…you

don’t always need to make someone else laugh• Flush bad experiences

– You’re not always going to rub people the right way, so don’t let it make you apprehensive when approaching a conversation

Jonathan
Willie/Wyc experience
Jonathan
This is one of the first things someone will judge you on
Jonathan
Practice good handshakes
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Understand your audience

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Understand your audience: manners

• Always start with good manners• Good manners will never put people off,

however, bad manners can give a bad first impression

• Don’t swear (first)• The other person will dictate how formal you

should be acting…let them be the one to bring the level of manners and formality to a more casual state

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Understand your audience: research

• Find out their interests/hobbies• Educate yourself on what kind of

demeanor the person has• It is always good to find out if

someone knows the person you are going to meet ahead of time– TSR, account manager, other employee,

etc

Jonathan
BoSci-McCarthy would read up on NASCAR events because the contact there was a fanatic...this led a blossoming relationship
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Understand your audience: paying attention

• After making the initial approach, listen intently and with genuine interest to their response

• Being a good listener will allow for further conversation– Follow-up questions– Share similar, interesting or funny

experiences

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Understand your audience: paying attention

• People want to continue conversations with people who seem to care about their responses and share their passion

• Pay attention to the other’s body language– If they have a closed posture or they’re checking

their watch/looking around, you know you are not captivating to them

– Talk about open body language on the converse

Jonathan
Everyone knows what it's like to talk to someone when they aren't paying attentionExample of my dad slowly repeating questions
Jonathan
Willie: Nonchlant/smooth time check...everyone needs to know the time, but don't be obvious about it
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Understand your audience: mirroring

• Eye contact• Body language/demeanor• Leaning• Hands

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Practice

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Practice: With whom?

Practice with people you don’t particularly know inside and out,

such as co-workers, management, contacts…what other

opportunities?

Jonathan McKenna
Cashier, toll booth attendant, customer service rep
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Practice: Conversation topics

• Stay up-to-date on current events so that you always have something to talk about

• Keep a mental list of good conversation topics in case all else fails•A little preparation goes a long way •Know when you’ve exhausted them

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Practice: Conversation topics

• People often like to talk about themselves, so ask questions accordingly!

• This goes back to preparation (which in turn comes across as self-confidence): know your audience– Ask about their family, job, hobby

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Practice: self-confidence

• Tonality• Diction• Pace• Eye contact• Practicing these things will lead to

more comfort in unfamiliar situations, in turn bolstering your self-confidence

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Practice: eliminating filler

• Try to rid your speaking of filler words like “uhh” and “umm” as they ruin conversation flow

• Filler words also show discomfort • Don’t be afraid of short pauses,

getting comfortable with them is a key step in mastering self-confidence

Jonathan
Listen to John McQuillan or Rich Barry speak...they rarely, if ever, use filler words)
Jonathan
Willie: Talk about his effective use of pauses/silence
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Practice: handshakes

• Use your right hand• Square your body• Find a medium grip• Pay attention to your

pumps (1-3)

Jonathan
Make sure your hands aren't too wet or drySquaring your body shows you've got nothing to hide and demonstrates self-confidencePRACTICE
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Game: One-word story• Give me a title of a made-up story • Each person gives one word of the

story, following in proper grammatical sequence and no hesitation

• Continue until the story reaches a conclusion

• The story can takes twists and turns, but it should include the main idea of the title

Jonathan
Practice removing filler words!
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Conclusion

• Questions?• Comments?• Stories?