Dealing with a difficult coworker

Dealing with a difficult coworker

Dealing with a difficult coworkerA story – The wise man and his nasty friend

• A long time ago, there was an old man who lived near a village and was well known for his wisdom and teachings.

• He used to share his knowledge through lectures and meetings and his whole community was very pleased for having him around.


• However, he used to be followed by a man that disagreed and criticized his blessed messages.

• That nasty person was always trying to damage his image around the village.

• And because of that many people didn’t like him.


• After few years, the nasty man became very sick and died.

• And many people noticed that the wise man was quite sad during the funeral services.

• And then, someone decided to ask him the reasons of his sadness and concerns.


• “Master, why are you so sad?”

• “Well, today a good friend of mine has died.”

• “But how could he be your friend? Since he was behaving badly, trying to damage your image, teaching and always questioning you.”

• “Believe me, he was the only one that pushed me to improve myself, helping me to think and rethink about my words and actions without any flattering comments”.

Dealing with a difficult coworkerA difficult point-of-view

• We need to agree that it is very difficult to accept the wise man’s teachings when he referred to a nasty person.

• And no one would like to have a friend like that.

Dealing with a difficult coworkerMain benefits

• But it is important to bear in mind that in many cases, such negative people help us:– to be more aware of our

own attitudes,

– to keep control,

– to behave better and

– to go even further.

Dealing with a difficult coworkerIntroduction – 05 Strategies

• But besides that we would like to share 05 strategies to deal with a nasty co-worker.

• Remembering that he or she could be your real friend.

Dealing with a difficult coworkerStrategy 01 – Be prepared for a conflict

• The best way to deal with a conflict is to anticipate it, developing ways to handle a debate, remembering:– Don’t be wishy-washy.

– Do uphold your morals and values

– Don’t be arrogant.

– Be self-confident.

– Be willing to compromise.

– Don’t let him/her get under your skin.

– Keep control of the situation.

Dealing with a difficult coworkerStrategy 02 – Don’t fuel the fire

• Don´t try to retaliate since it could be the worst thing you can do.

• Any exchange of negative words will fuel such destructive relationship and you are opening the door for them to make you look like the bad guy.

• Instead, use the oldest trick in the book: – Kill it with kindness.

Dealing with a difficult coworkerStrategy 03 – Lend a helping hand

• Although not beneficial in all situations, sometimes a difficult person is simply a troubled person looking for a friend.

• Unfortunately, this co-worker ends up making enemies instead of friends because they don’t have the necessary social skills.

• Break down that barrier and you may find someone who could use as a friend.

Dealing with a difficult coworkerStrategy 04 – Get a third-party involved

• No matter how competent and wonderful a person you are, you just can’t win everyone over.

• If a difficult co-worker is not receptive to your attempts at defusing the situation, enlist a neutral third-party to help navigate the choppy waters.

Dealing with a difficult coworkerStrategy 05 – Move on

• You tried to make nice, and it just didn’t work.

• There comes a point where you have to hang up your hat and admit that the situation just isn’t going to resolve itself.

• If you can honestly say you gave it your best shot and you’re still stuck with a disruptive co-worker, it’s not worth the stress to work day in and day out in a combative environment.

• The following are referenced in this presentation:

– Insider Toolbox http://www.aftermarket.org/Magazine/InsiderArchives/Toolbox/DifficultCoWorkers.aspx

– Ivillage http://www.ivillage.com/20-ways-deal-difficult-co-workers/4-a-283591

– Real Simple http://www.realsimple.com/work-life/etiquette/rude-coworkers-00100000077253/index.html

– The Manager´s Minute http://www.nationalseminarstraining.com/managersminute/MGRMIN_0811/article1.cfm

Dealing with a difficult coworkerOur References

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