Failing Successfully”Failure is the tuition you pay for

success.” Walter Brunell

By Bryan Long

“I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed”. Michael Jordan

Lead-InThomas Edison said,

“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000

ways that won't work”.

Have you ever wanted to just through everything away?

Maybe ill health has you down, marriage is on the rocks, finances are a wreck or you are pissed at God about whatever.

Sometimes our emotions (unclear thinking) gets in the way of making a level headed decision and wrong choices get into the mix.

This book is about correcting our choices so failures can become successes.

The Story of the Donkey and the Well

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway, it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all of his neighbors to come over and help him.

They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement, he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up!

Shake it off, and take a step up.

Chapter 1. Point of View “Every struggle you have known has shaped and made you the person you are. Be thankful that you are stronger today”. Unknown

Chapter 2. Self-Talk“Do not expect people to tell you the truth because they also lie to themselves”. Unknown

Chapter 3. Taking Responsibility“A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame someone else”. Unknown

Chapter 4. The New Game PlanLes Brown said, “You don’t have to be great to get started, but you do have to get started to be great.”

About BryanDuring the writing of Failing Successfully I was at the bottom of the well with the dirt of life being shoveled on top of me. Lost my job, business was failing, my wife lost her job, finances were a challenge and yes I was pissed at God.

This book is dedicated to men and women at the bottom of the well, who need to climb back to the top and get life going again.

Bryan Long – Husband, Father, Success

The Road of Success

One of these graphics is correct and it is not the one that says “Road to Success” Chapter One. Point of View

“Every struggle you have known has shaped and made you the person you are. Be thankful that you are stronger today”. Unknown

What can you do when life gets put on hold? Family stuff, career stuff, financial stuff and God seems to be busy playing golf or fishing somewhere. Sometimes life is like swimming through Jell-O - slow, un-exciting, over challenging, bitter and depressing.

The majority of people would ask themselves the question, why is this happening to me (that is a victim question). A few people would ask themselves what can I do about this (is a victors question).

Stop blaming others for your plight and take ownership of your decisions and live with the results.

So what, if your road is not straight. No one else’s is either!

Two bricklayers were approached by a reporter. The reporter asked the first bricklayer, “What are you doing?”

His response was to complain that he was virtually a slave. An underpaid laborer who spent his days wasting his time, placing one brick on top of another for hours on end.

The reporter ask the second worker the same question. His response, however, was quite different.

“I’m the luckiest guy in the world,” he said. “I get to be a part of important, useful and beautiful pieces of architecture. I turn simple pieces of brick into exquisite masterpieces.”

The Story of the Two Brick Layers

Of course, they were both right, but it was their mindset that mattered. In everything that we do, we can see it as a chore or an opportunity to do something remarkable.

Think about your life. Is it a drudgery? Or is it full of exciting moments? If it’s more of the former, don’t look to change the external factors, look to change how you view the world. It could make all the difference!

Reducing and Character

In cooking there is a term called – reducing. Sometimes we are reduced by life events to see what we are made of. That process of reducing is called character development. Unless we increase who we are, we won’t get any more.

Some days it seem like everything is moving against us, but the Bible says in ROMANS 8:31, “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?”

Brian Klemmer said, “Leaders change the situation instead of being changed by the situation”. Find that leadership-ability in you and switch out that old man thinking for some new leadership people thinking.

If you don’t take responsibility for your point of view, then you will be subject to someone else’s. More on taking responsibility on chapter 3.

Choices

“The reason most people give up is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, instead of how far they have come. Livelifehappy.com Plans

Our plans do not always work out the way we want them to and the road of success is not a straight line. Whether you are getting an education, busy in a career, a home maker, retired or bringing up kids – life throws dirt at you!

Would you rather walk in someone else’s shoe or keep your own?

Courage

Most people have no idea what England and Allies endured during WWII, but the key point was – quitting was not an option. The Brits had to sustain their courage day in and day out for many years. My great grandmother would say to her children every day, “tomorrow will be better”, now that is courage under fire.

So, the lesson here is toughen up and stop whining that life is not fare. And heed these words, “Don’t let your setbacks become your identity”. Victims do this to get their own way.

ObstaclesI’m still chewing on this one, but the point is well made. We can either, remain in the same place and complain about the obstacle in front of us, or we can do something about it.

Are you willing to trade out your “Point of View” for a new one in hopes of finishing the success race in front of you or will you choose to remain the same? It’s your choice!

DecisionsWhat are you afraid of? Failing, looking bad in your peer’s eyes, having to give an account of why “it” did not work as well as you thought? If you are afraid of failing, you might as well go live in a cave.

FAILING is the number one ingredient in SUCCESS! Learn to love it or you cannot have the success you seek.

“Do not expect people to tell you the truth, because they also lie to themselves”. Unknown

Chapter 2. Self-Talk

“Self-sabotage is the single biggest killer of dreams, goals and ambitions.”

The Three Rules to Breaking Self-SabotageOne. Do not listen to or believe the wrong people.

Two. Do not listen or believe what you are saying if you are talking negatively about yourself.

Three. Follow rules one and two.

Self-Sabotage

Remember the story of the little engine that could. He said to himself “I think I can”.

If you tell your-self you can’t you are right. If you tell your-self you can, you are right.

Perseverance

Never Give- up! There’s always another move! “perseverance next to adaptability is the most important skill you can have. And it’s just that a skill.

In fact, the one thing that set people I know who succeed in the long run over the people who don’t is the ability to persevere, keep going and never give up”. Joel Runyon

OKAY! Take a step back from a failed success dream. There are some thoughts to consider from Mr. Nightingales and Mr. Runyon’s Quotes.

One – The time it will take to accomplish it.Two – The time will pass away.Three – There is always another move.Four – Perseverance.Five – Skill.Six – Those who succeed.

Take all of these concepts and mix them together. What do you get? A skill called PATIENCE, which is another key ingredient to SUCCESS!

Everything that has become a success in your eyes has been built on patience, long-suffering, persistence, labor, tears, frustration, sweat equity, money, planning and someone with a dream to see the project completed.Without these action words, put to deed, nothing successful exists!

Being Ready!

Procrastination is the killer of success.

Comfort Zones

Get Rid of Them!

A detriment to being successful are Comfort Zones. They are the place where you tell your-self “I will not”. Comfort Zones are the places where we meet our fears, rejections, emotional discomfort and self-inflicted limitations.

The successful people in life have intentionally subjected their thoughts and feelings to the uncomfortable long enough to become confident in their weaknesses, while the rest of sit cowering in our denials.

Self-Worth

This has been a big ouch in my life. Abusive upbringings do not promote positive self-talk, so more long-term positive input and believing it is in order. Proverbs says that what so ever we think about our-self we are.

A lot of Self-Sabotage can be ended right here with some loving, meaningful words of encouragement. How do we change our negative self-talk into positive self-talk? By Taking Responsibility for correcting our personal behaviors.

No matter how good or bad our upbringing was, we are ultimately responsible for what we think, feel, do and how we talk about our-self!

Chapter 3. Taking Responsibility

A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame someone else”. Unknown

Here’s the deal. God is not responsible for the decisions we make or the results of those decisions. We write our own story – good or bad! Without asking God for wisdom the story usually works out not as good as it could. But also remember, life has its bumps – period.

Take responsibility for how you feel.

How you feel about your life, career, family, money, sex or anything else is no one else’s responsibility. And for the sake of asking, just tell me how anyone else could be responsible for how you feel? I never did understand that idea.

Blaming God, Family, Friends or Career leads to personal unhappiness.

Decisions

Bob Proctor said, “People who make decisions go to the top. Those who fail to make decisions go nowhere”.

Part of Taking Responsibility for what we think, how we feel and how we act is taking ownership of the Decisions we make on a daily basis.Just like Eleanor Roosevelt said, No one can make you feel inferior without your consent, the same goes for decision. No one can force you into making a bad decision without your consent.

I learned in my drug rehab program that taking ownership of all aspects of life can be a daunting experience, especially if most areas of life were let go of in pursuit of things that inflicted the damage.

When we look in the mirror there is only one person to blame for our decisions and that would be the person in the reflection.

If it had not been for Celebrate Recovery coming along at the right time, with the right people to talk with, and being willing to change many aspects of my thinking, you would not be reading this book. You know that life events can add to or take away from what we are doing. But the key to “adding to” is to be looking for something else to master.

Mastering Self is a life-long trip on twisty roads, in the fog at times, not knowing what is ahead, but be clear, this is the hardest action to take that I have ever encountered in my life.

Proverbs says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

How many people do you know of that have the guts to do that?

Master Personal Growth

They Gave Up to Soon!

The point of Taking Responsibility is owning up to the failure mind set. To put a stop to the quitting.

Maybe make mid-course directions are necessary, but the ability to persist longer than anyone else has its own rewards.

Directional Thinking

Take Responsibility for where you going. Maybe the recipe you are using to achieve your goals needs some freshening up. But the most important ingredient to making the recipe a success is you being involved in the correct solution.

If you don’t know where you are going any location looks like a good substitute. In my business planning I left off one of the recipes key ingredients as we talked about in Chapter Two “never give up, there is always another move”, PATIENCE! Instead of staying committed to the goal, I took side roads that looked good at the time, but only lead to frustration.

Know where you are going and why!

Once Upon a Time, a Chicken and a Pig lived on a farm. The farmer was very good to them and they both wanted to do something good for him. One day the chicken approached the pig and said, "I have a great idea for something we can do for the farmer! Would you like to help?“

The pig, quite intrigued by this, said, "of course! What is it that you propose?" The chicken knew how much the farmer enjoyed a good healthy breakfast. He also knew how little time the farmer had to make a good breakfast. "I think the farmer would be very happy if we made him breakfast.“

The pig thought about this. While not as close to the farmer, he too knew of the farmer's love for a good breakfast. "I'd be happy to help you make breakfast for the farmer! What do you suggest we make?“

The chicken, understanding that he had little else to offer suggested, "I could provide some eggs." The pig knew the farmer might want more, "That's a fine start. What else should we make?“

The chicken looked around, scratched his head then said, "Ham, the farmer loves ham and eggs!" The pig, very mindful of what this implied, said, "That’s fine but while you're making a contribution I'm making a real commitment!"

Are making a contribution or a real commitment?

Making a Commitment

There is no replacement for wisdom.

Proverbs says to bind wisdom around your neck. Why? Wisdom will help you make those all important decisions and save you from foolish mistakes. Wisdom is also necessary for character development.

Mr. Carnegie makes a great point about people and their character. Notice he does listen to what they say, he watches what they do. Taking Responsibility for our life means to shift away from the talk and get to the doing.

Let your actions say what kind of person you are!

Wisdom

Chapter 4. The New Game Plan

“You don’t have to be great to get started, but you do have to

get started to be great.” Les Brown

Money, Persistence and Careers

Dr. John Maxwell said, “Learn to lead from where you are.”

Right now, today, with or without resources we are starting over and leading the way for ourselves and others to achieve greater increase beginning with what we have to work with.

The Bible says “all things are possible”. It does not say everything we want will happen. The things that are possible are the things we should be doing to make a better life i.e.: family, career, financial amends and soul for our-self.

At this point in the game there is no reason to sit on the side line. Get involved in the solution and then, go do it!

The Money Game Plan

The late Jim Rohn said, “Your paycheck is not your employer's responsibility; It’s your responsibility. Your employer has no control over your value, but you do.“

The Money Game RulesOne. The quotes are right. Two. If all else fails, the quotes are right.

Making Payments vs Paying CashAre making payments and paying interest a better deal than paying cash and not paying any interest?“Affording something does not mean you can make the monthly payment, it means you can pay cash and have money left over”. Unknown

Financial SmartDo you wonder why you don’t have anymore?“Until you show you can handle what you’ve got, you won’t get any more.” T Harv EkerK

What You’ve GotDo you know how much you have?George Odiorne said, “If you can’t measure it, you can’t manage it”.

If OnlyDo you know where your money goes?'If I had a fortune, I'd take good care of it. But I only have a paycheck and I don't know where it all goes.' “Wouldn't you love to have him running your company?" Jim Rohn

Debts and InvestmentsWhat is having a retirement worth to you?“Live on less than you earn so you can have a surplus to get you out of debt and invest in assets that appreciate.” Blaine Harris

Financial AttitudeThe glass is not half full or half empty, it is overflowing – that is the attitude to have.Oprah Winfrey said, “If you look at what you have in life, you'll always have more. If you look at what you don't have in life, you'll never have enough.”

Blaine Harris said, “When performance is measured performance improves.”

One Single Persistence RuleA person's actions will tell you everything you need to know.

WillingnessThis pretty much defines the primary difference between the successful and the unsuccessful.“Successful people are willing to do the things that unsuccessful people won’t”. Unknown

MomentumWhere and how do we get momentum? “Momentum isn’t something you can see is it something you can feel and it all starts inside of you.” Unknown

SuccessHow many seeds have you planted today?Robert Louis Stevenson said, “Do not measure success by today's harvest. Measure success by the seeds you plant today.”

The Persistence Game Plan

The Careers Game Plan

"If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan, and guess what they have planned for you? Not much”. Jim Rohn

AchievementWhat are you doing with the opportunity in your hand?"Most successful men have not achieved their distinction by having some new talent or opportunity presented to them. They have developed the opportunity that was at hand." Bruce Barton

FingertipsWhat are you improving upon in your life? “The man who comes up with a means for doing or producing almost anything better, faster or more economically has his future and his fortune at his fingertips.” J. Paul Getty

Potential CustomersDo you treat everyone the same?Dan Schawbel said, “Treat everyone like a potential customer. You really don't know who is connected to who sometimes so you need to treat everyone with respect. Someone that can't afford your services, or hire you, can refer you to someone who can”.

Connecting with PeopleDo you connect with everyone you meet?"Our job is to connect to people, to interact with them in a way that leaves them better than we found them more able to get where they’d like to go." Seth Godin

Would you be more in-tune with your proper environment by switching bowls?

In Closing“Take responsibility for pushing your Personal Value off the Chart’s and let

everyone else wonders what happened.”

This book is dedicated to my friend and mentor Bill O’hearn, who helped me climb out of the well.

“You have everything you need to build something far bigger than yourself.” Seth Godin

Thanks and ContributionsBill O’hearn Walter BrunellMichael Jordan Thomas EdisonLes Brown ROMANS 8:31Bob Proctor Winston Churchill Brian Klemmer Livelifehappy.comNiccolo Machiavelli Earl NightingaleJoel Runyon Lemony SnicketAlrik Kandenburg Eleanor RooseveltProverbs Ronald E. OsbornCelebrate Recovery Andrew CarnegieLeadershipquotes.org Dr. John MaxwellJim Rohn T Harv EkerGeorge Odiorne Blaine HarrisOprah Winfrey Robert Louis StevensonBruce Barton J. Paul GettyDan Schawbel Seth Godin

Failing SuccessfullyCopyrighted September 2014Bryan K. Long/The Bryan K. Long Company/Co-Ownership.us