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DIRECTING COMPROMISING COOPERATING HARMONIZING AVOIDING The Kraybill Conflict Style Inventory FREE REVIEW COPY www.RiverhouseEpress.com

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Page 1: Style Matters Conflict Style Inventory

DIRECTING

COMPROMISING

COOPERATING

HARMONIZINGAVOIDING

The Kraybill Conflict Style Inventory

FREE REVIEW COPYwww.RiverhouseEpress.com

Page 2: Style Matters Conflict Style Inventory

ContentsIntroduction..................................................... ........ 2

Instructions ............................................................. 3

Tally Sheet .............................................................. 7

Guidelines for Interpreting Your Scores................. 8

Diagram of the Five Styles.....................................11

.Understanding.the.Conflict.Styles..........................12.

.Choosing.Responses.to.Conflict............................15

Strategies for Working with Styles of Others..........17

.Suggestions.for.Reflection.and.Discussion............20

Notes and Acknowledgements...............................22

The Kraybill Conflict Style Inventory

By Ron Kraybill, PhD

MATTERS

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About the AuthorRon.Kraybill. has. been. a. leader. in. the. field. of.

conflict.resolution.and.peacebuilding.since.1979...

He was founding director of the Mennonite

Conciliation Service, Akron, Pennsylvania,

1979-1988.. . . He. spent. the. years. 1989-1995.

as Director of Training and head of special

projects.at.the.Centre.for.Conflict.Resolution.in.

Cape Town and as training advisor to the South

African National Peace Accord. He was a

professor.in.the.Conflict.Transformation.Program.

at. Eastern. Mennonite. University. 1995-2006....

From. 2007. to. 2009. he. was. an. independent.

consultant in Jerusalem, Ramallah, and

Amman...Since.2009.he.has.been.a.Peace.and.

Development Advisor for the United Nations.

Other books by Kraybill include: Peace Skills:

A Manual for Community Mediators. (Jossey-

Bass,.2001);.Cool Tools for Hot Topics: Group

Tools to Facilitate Meetings When Things are

Hot.(Good.Books,.2007),.and.Restoring Those

Who Help Others: Spirituality and Self-Care

for Those in Danger of Burnout. (In. press)..

See www.RiverhouseEpress.com for his essays

and a blog on peace processes.

More Resources on Conflict StylesFor.a.large.number.of.essays.on.conflict.styles,.

culture.and.conflict,..and.resources.for.trainers,.

go to the Riverhouse website. On the front

page of the site, click on the Resources section

in the left menu.

Ordering InformationStyle Matters is available printed in full color

throughout or in black and white text with

color cover. You can also purchase rights

to reproduce at modest cost and print your

own copies. A fully automated web version

with a detailed report tailored to your scores

and features not found in the print versions is

available online. For all pricing and ordering

information,. visit. www.ConflictStyleMatters.

com...Or.contact.us.by.phone.at.202-580-8656.

or email at [email protected].

Leading a Workshop?You can get a free Trainers Guide to

Successful Conflict Styles Workshops

from Riverhouse. Send a request to:

[email protected]

An. eighteen-page. PDF. document. with.

clear. step-by-step. instructions. will. be.

sent to you immediately by return email.

Style Matters Online The interactive Style Matters Online on the

Riverhouse web site offers automated scoring

and features an emailable, four page score

report.summarizing.key.findings. for.each user.

Copyright.2005.Ron.KraybillRevised.2008,.2010,.2011ISBN.0-9755071-2-5Riverhouse ePress, Harrisonburg, VAwww.RiverhouseEpress.com

The Kraybill Conflict Style InventoryMATTERS 1Copyright.2011..www.RiverhouseEpress.com

Page 4: Style Matters Conflict Style Inventory

We all experience painful differences with

others as a part of living. Perhaps more than

any other challenge in life, our ability to work

out differences with others affects our ability to

live well and be happy. Yet most of us get little

thoughtful guidance from parents and teachers

on.how.to.do.this....We.figure.out.a.few.things.

by trial and error, but we are often confused and

hurt.by.what.happens.in.conflicts...

Style Matters: The Kraybill Conflict Style

Inventory. gives. specific,. practical. help. for.

dealing with differences. In a handful of pages,

you will get more help than most of us get in

a lifetime of learning. This information can help

you understand confusing situations and make

a real difference in the quality of relationships in

home, school, work, and community settings.

So.how.do.you.respond.to.conflict?..Most.people.

aren’t sure how to answer. It is often easier

to describe how others respond than how we

ourselves respond.

Style Matters gives you a snapshot of yourself.

With that picture in hand, you can make

conscious choices in responding to others

when things are tense. You can build on your

strengths and improve on your weaknesses.

You can assess responses of other people and

deal more constructively with them.

Bear in mind as you answer the questions in the

next few pages:

-.There.are.no."right".or."wrong".answers.

-.No.test.is.perfect,.including.this.one.

-.No.one.is."set.in.stone",.including.you.

The questions and your scores are only the

beginning of the learning process. Thoughtful

self-reflection. and. conversation. with. others.

about.what.happens.in.conflict.can.teach.a.great.

deal more. Style Matters will help you to do that

and to think about what really matters:

How to respond most constructively to the

disagreements. and. conflicts. in. your. life.

tomorrow?

Introduction

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You can take this inventory in one of two ways. If you live and work in a cultural setting known as individualist (also sometimes referred to as “low context” for reasons you can read about in Note 1 on.page.22),.the.context.in.which.conflict.takes.place.is not so important. People in these settings see conflict.as.a.matter.between.individuals.that.requires.only moderate awareness of status, roles, community customs, etc. They feel free to respond as they wish when there is disagreement, no matter who is involved. If this sounds like your life, Instructions A will probably work best for you.

On the other hand, if you live and work in a setting known.as.collectivist.(or.“high.context”),.chances.are.you.have.a.strong.instinct.to.first.examine.the.context of a problem before responding. In such settings, social status, age, roles, and the expectations of others have a big voice in deciding responses. Specific.information.about.the.context.must.be.known.before answering questions about “what to do” in conflict......If.this.sounds.like.your.life,.Instructions.B.may feel more realistic for you, since they guide you to.select.one.specific.conflict.or.kind.of.relationship.and hold it in mind as you take the inventory.

Many people operate in mixed settings so either instruction set could work. Welcome to the complexities of modern living! You can learn more about the differences between the two modes on Note 1 on page 22, as well as cultures/regions of the world often associated with each. If you are undecided, we recommend Instructions B. They work for everyone, regardless of background, so long as you remember that the picture of yourself they yield at the end cannot be generalized to other

situations. Instructions A result in a broad sketch of your behavior in general. Instructions B result in a specific. snapshot of your behavior in one context only, and you may want to later take the inventory a second or third time with other contexts in mind to get snapshots of yourself in several settings.

Instruction Set A - General SketchThink about your typical response when your wishes differ with those of another person. Questions A-J.deal.with.your.response.to.disagreement.in.the.beginning stages, when you have not yet grown frustrated.or.greatly.upset...Questions.K-T.deal.with.your response after the disagreement has gotten stronger. Though there may be exceptions, what is. typical. for.you?. .Your. “gut-level. response”. to. the.question is likely to be the most accurate. For each question, choose the number between 1 and 7 that best describes what you actually do.

Instruction Set B - Context-Specific SnapshotChoose a context for answering the questions. Select a person or particular kind of relationship (for example,.co-workers.of.same.status.as.you,.personal.friends,.a.committee.in.your.religious.community,.etc.).with whom you have experienced disagreements or conflict.. . Hold. this. situation. in. your. mind,. or. ones.similar to it, as you answer the questions. Questions A-J.deal.with.disagreements.in.the.beginning.stages,.when you have not yet grown frustrated or greatly upset...Questions.K-T.deal.with.your.response.after.things.have.gotten.more.difficult.....For.each.question,.choose the number between 1 and 7 that is most accurate in describing what you actually do.

Instructions for Getting Started

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Page 6: Style Matters Conflict Style Inventory

A. So long as feelings are still under control, I.push.to.bring.our.differences.out.into.the.open.and.try.to.find.a.solution.that.benefits.both.of.us.

B. If the disagreement has not escalated to a high level, I focus on achieving what is important to me rather than worrying about what’s important to the

other person.

C.. ..When.feelings.are.still.low-key,. I look for a compromise that gives each of us a little of what we want.

D.. .I.try.to.head.off.trouble.before.it.begins.by.steering.away.from.difficult.issues.

E. In a mild disagreement, I am likely to go along with the other person’s wishes in order to keep things peaceful.

F When I am in a disagreement but my emotions are not yet fully aroused, I give priority to harmony and set aside my personal preferences as necessary to achieve

peace.

G.. ..When.the.disagreement.is.still.low-key, I put as much effort into understanding the other side’s views as I put into explaining my own.

RARELY USUALLY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

RARELY USUALLY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

RARELY USUALLY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

RARELY USUALLY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

RARELY USUALLY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

RARELY USUALLY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

RARELY USUALLY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Calm SettingsWhen I first discover that differences exist and feelings are not yet high. . .

Features of Style Matters

- Research validated.

-.Suitable.for.diverse.cultural.setting

s.

-.Clear.explanations;.no.purchase.o

f.

additional materials required.

-.Discussion.questions.provided.for

.group.

work.

-.Free.Trainers.Guide.available.for.d

ownload.

-.Online.Version.also.available.with.

automated.scoring.and.detailed.5.p

age.

score report based on user’s scores. Easy

emailing of report to user or trainer.

-.Priced.to.be.accessible.

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Storm SettingsIf differences persist and feelings escalate, what do you do then?

K.. ..If.the.conflict.gets.heated,. . I.make.a.lot.of.effort.to.get.us.to.work.together.in.finding.a.solution.that.we.are.both.happy.with.

L. As emotions rise, I focus more on my goals and less on how others feel about things.

M. When feelings escalate in an argument, I seek a solution where both parties win some and lose some.

RARELY USUALLY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

RARELY USUALLY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

RARELY USUALLY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

H. If tension is not yet high, I focus more on making sure that my opinions are heard than on keeping the other person

happy.

I. In the early stage when people are not yet upset,. . I.deal.with.differences.by.finding.ways.to.postpone.the.discussion.

J. When emotions are not yet high, I deal with differences by offering to give up some things in exchange for others.

RARELY USUALLY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

RARELY USUALLY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

RARELY USUALLY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

The Kraybill Conflict Style InventoryMATTERS 5Copyright.2011..www.RiverhouseEpress.com

Page 8: Style Matters Conflict Style Inventory

Q.. If.the.conflict.gets.intense,. My attention goes to strategies to get what is important to me rather than to protecting the

relationship.

R. When things get heated, I let the other person have their way.

S. When an argument gets really intense, I put a lot of effort into advancing the conversation in such a way that it meets everyone’s goals.

T. When tempers are high, I try to move on by seeking a deal that gives everyone some but not all of what they want.

Now go to the next page and tally your results.

N. When I am upset in a disagreement, I withdraw from discussion so that neither side gets what they want.

O.. If..the.conflict.gets.too.intense,. I prefer to set aside my needs and let the other person have what they want rather than threaten

our relationship.

P. When an argument gets really intense, I decide that the differences aren’t worth all the hassle and drop the discussion.

RARELY USUALLY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

RARELY USUALLY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

RARELY USUALLY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

RARELY USUALLY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

RARELY USUALLY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

RARELY USUALLY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

RARELY USUALLY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Storm Settings (cont’d)If differences persist and feelings escalate, what do I do?

Who Uses Style Matters?

•.School.of.Public.Health,.Johns.Ho

pkins.University

•.Business.School,.Stanford.Univer

sity

•.Department.of.Public.Safety,.State

.of.Texas

•.Canadian.Defence.Force

•.Department.of.Agriculture,.State.o

f.Pennsylvania

•.Department.of.Transportation

•.Medical.School,.University.of.Calg

ary

•.Justice.Institute.of.British.Columbi

a

•.US.Federal.Judicial.Center

•.Statistics.Canada

•.Institute.for.Conflict.Analysis.and.

Research,.

George Mason University

•.AT&T.Wireless

•.Valspar.Corporation

Plus hundreds of other colleges, universities,

government units, trainers, consultants, religious

congregations and their leaders, human resource

managers, and team leaders.

The Kraybill Conflict Style InventoryMATTERS 6Copyright.2011..www.RiverhouseEpress.com

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Style Inventory Tally SheetWhen you have answered all the questions, transfer the number you chose for each question

to the chart below. For example, on question A, if you circled 1, write 1 on the line beside A in

the chart below. When you have transferred all the numbers, add them in each column, A+G,

K + S, etc., and enter the total for each column in the gray box.

Now tranfer your score totals from the gray box above and the style names they are with to

the columns below, placing them in order from highest score to lowest.

CalmResponse.when.issues.or.conflicts.first.arise

StormResponse when things escalate or stress rises

Highest Calm Score ^ Style Name ^ Highest Storm Score ^ Style Name^

Style Name 2nd Style Name 2nd

Style Name 3rd Style Name 3rd

Style Name 4th Style Name 4th

Style Name 5th Style Name 5th

The Kraybill Conflict Style InventoryMATTERS 7Copyright.2011..www.RiverhouseEpress.com

A __

G ___

K ___

S ___

B ___

H ___

__ L

Q ___

C ___

J ___

M ___

T ___

D ___

I ___

N ___

P ___

E ___

F ___

O ___

R ___

Calm Storm Calm Storm Calm Storm Calm Storm Calm StormCooperating Directing Compromising Avoiding Harmonizing

Page 10: Style Matters Conflict Style Inventory

1 . Learn the five styles and how each functions.

This knowledge will open choices for you that

you couldn’t see before, It will also help you to

recognize what others are doing, and take steps

to bring out the best in yourself and others.

Learning suggestions: Study the diagram

“Five.Styles.of.Responding.to.Conflict”.on.

page 11 for a few minutes. If you can, view

the short slide series on the front web page of

www.ConflictStyleMatters.com..When.you.

have a sense of each style, go on to Guideline

Two below.

2 . Be aware of your own conflict style

preferences. Most people have a clear

preference for one or two styles. This style

feels natural to us since we learn patterns

with.conflict.as.children.and.young.adults....

Each of us was shaped by a situation unique

to us, created by our own needs and abilities,

interacting.with.the.conflict.styles.of.people.

close to us, and the institutional boundaries

of school, religion, and society. As adults,

many of us still prefer the style that we learned

to rely on in those early years. That style is

fine,.neither.good.nor.bad...But.if.we.use.it.

automatically, in almost all conflicts, without

awareness that we are using it or that other

responses are also available, we set ourselves

up.for.difficulty.

Learning suggestions: Study your scores,

using.the.chart.on.the.bottom.of.page.9...

Discuss them with others, for in describing

your scores and commenting on them, you

deepen.your.understanding....For.one-on-one.

discussion, see Exercise 1 on page seven. In

group.settings,.see.Exercises.1-4...In.order.

of priority according to the time available, pay

most attention to:

a). The.style.you.rely.on.the.most. This is

normally the style with your highest score in

Calm or Storm. If in doubt, give priority to

Guidelines for Interpreting Your Scores

The.Guidelines.below.show.how.to.use.knowledge.of.conflict.styles.to.improve.your.effectiveness.

in.conflict...As.you.work.through.them.and.the.Learning.Suggestions.that.accompany.each,.

you.will.gain.an.understanding.of.your.scores.and.how.to.strengthen.your.responses.to.conflict....

If you are leading a group, see the Trainers' Guide for more exercises and inputs for each

principle. (To.download.a.free.copy,.send.an.email.request.to:[email protected].)

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your highest Storm style. This style probably

reflects.some.of.your.greatest.gifts.as.a.person.

but.is.also.a.style.you.are.likely.to.over-use...

Understanding its strengths and limitations

will help you to choose other styles when

appropriate.

b). The.style.you.use.the.least. This is normally

the style with your lowest score in Calm or

Storm. If in doubt, choose the style that you

feel is the hardest for you to use well. Since

this is the style you are probably least skilled

in, expanding your ability to use it will open

new.options.for.responding.in.conflict.

c). If.your.numbers.are.very.close,.you.may.be.

equally skilled in all styles. This is in general

good,.for.it.indicates.flexibility.....Ask.people.

who know you for comment: Do they see

you.as.indeed.flexible.in.using.all.five.styles?..

Or do you sometimes rely too much on one

or.two.styles?...Chances.are.that.you.have.

an inner sense about one or two styles that

are.more.difficult.for.you.than.others;.pay.

special attention to these. Also, be aware that

flexibility.can.make.you.seem.unpredictable.

to others. You can counteract this by making

special effort to communicate your intentions

to others so they can understand what you

are up to.

3 . Develop style flexibility. Understand and

respect the unique value of each style. Each

has strengths and weaknesses. Each is the

right choice in some situations and wrong in

others....Become.skillful.in.all.five.styles.so.you.

can use each appropriately. A few people

are.naturally.flexible.and.have.a.“flat.score”.in.

this inventory, meaning their numbers all fall

within a few points of each other. However,

most people have a preference for one or

two.styles,.reflected.in.a.score.of.two.or.more.

points higher than other styles. The stronger

your preference for a particular style, the more

likely.you.are.to.experience.the.costs.of.over-

use described on pages 12 to 14.

Learning suggestions: In the section

“Understanding.Conflict.Styles”,.pages.12.to.

14,.study.the.benefits.of.each.style.and.the.

costs.of.over-using.it. Pay particular attention

to the costs of over-use of the style you use

the most and the benefits of the style you use

the least, for this knowledge will assist you to

broaden your repertoire of responses. Review

these out loud in the presence of others (a

partner or a small group, with all sharing about

themselves).and.comment.on.those.that.

especially seem to apply to you. The section

“Choosing.Responses.to.Conflict”,.pages.15.

and.16,.gives.additional.information.on.each.

style. In real life, practice being conscious of

which style you are using and make a point

of experimenting with styles you rarely use.

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Page 12: Style Matters Conflict Style Inventory

4 . Increase awareness of your Storm Shift.

Some people experience a change in preferred

style.as.conflict.heats.up....They.begin.a.

conflict.with.one.style.but.as.emotions.and.

stress go up, they shift to a different style.

They may shift from a style of Harmonizing

in Calm conditions, for example, to Directing

as things move into the tension of Storm

conditions;.from.Directing.to.Avoiding;.from.

Cooperating to Directing or Harmonizing, etc.

This Storm Shift can be quite sudden and thus

surprise, shock, or hurt others.

Learning suggestions: Compare your

numbers in Calm and Storm for each style.

(Use the totals in the gray line of the upper

chart.on.page.7.)...If.there.is.a.shift.in.any.of.

your styles of two points or more from Calm to

Storm, pay attention to this. If the shift is four

points or more, chances are that your Storm

shift sometimes confuses or alarms others.

In.conflict.situations,.learn.to.recognize.the.

inner signs that accompany a shift: a suddenly

pounding heart, heat in the face or neck, a

flash.of.anger.in.the.head,.churning.in.the.gut,.

or icy fear in the chest. Ask people who know

you well to give you feedback about what they

notice.when.you.become.stressed.in.conflict....

Simple awareness is your most important

tool.for.self-management....If.awareness.

alone is not enough to achieve the response

you seek, discuss with others you trust what

you could do when you feel stressed that

would help you use the style you want to use.

5 . Learn strategies to make it easy for

others to be at their best. Each style has

certain requirements other people can help

to meet, if they choose, that lower stress

and anxiety and improve performance.

Often these are simple things others can

do without sacrificing their own goals.

Learning suggestions: Study the section

“Strategies for Working with Styles of Others”.

First learn the tips you wish others would

use for you by studying your preferred styles

in Calm and Storm. Then, if you are in a

group, go around the group with each person

sharing the tips for his or her preferred styles

that seem especially helpful. Listen well, for

you will learn much about the needs of other

styles besides your own as well. (Exercises

2.and.3.on.page.20.are.a.variation.on.this.)...

Do the same discussion with a partner you live

or work with. In real life, look for opportunities

to apply support strategies discretely, in ways

that help others without calling attention to the

fact that you have done so.

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COOPERATINGFocus on own agenda: HighFocus on relationship: High I win/you win.“My preference is.... And please tell me yours.... If we each explain what we want, and keep talking, we can find a way for both of us. ”

High Focus on Agenda

Low Focus on Agenda

Low focus on

Relationship

High focus on

Relationship

COMPROMISINGFocus on own agenda: MediumFocus on relationship: Medium I win some/you win some.“I’ll meet you halfway...”“Let’s make a deal...”

DIRECTINGFocus on own agenda: HighFocus on relationship: Low I win/you lose.“We’re doing it my way...”“Let’s just get the job done. (We’ll worry about the relationship later...)”

HARMONIZINGFocus on own agenda: LowFocus on relationship: High I lose/you win.“Sure, I’m flexible ...”“Whatever you want is fine with me ...”

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AVOIDING Focus on own agenda: LowFocus on relationship: Low I lose/ you lose.“Forget about it...." "Conflict? What conflict?" "Can we talk about this some other time?”

Page 14: Style Matters Conflict Style Inventory

DIRECTINGHigh focus on own agenda and low focus on relationship

“We’re doing it my way...”

I win and you lose.

Strategies: Persuade, insist, demand and

repeat, compete, control, refuse to negotiate,

attack. As leader, discourage challenges, cite

policy, set limits and consequences, instruct.

Source of power: From position, role, control of

resources, ability to impose consequences.

Benefits: Speed, decisiveness, gaining or

protecting things important to the Director.

Useful.in.emergencies.-.no.time.lost.negotiating.

duties when the ship is sinking. Stability under

unswerving leadership.

Costs when over-used: Inequality, resentment,

reduction in trust, loss of cooperation. In time,

others.display.lower.self-motivation,.atrophy.of.

gifts,. diminished. self-respect,. or. depression....

Reduced emotional and spiritual growth in the

Director if others fear to challenge them.

COOPERATINGHigh focus on own agenda and high focus on relationship

“My preference is.... And please tell me yours.”

I win and you win.

Strategies: Assert self and invite other views.

Welcome.differences,.reflect.jointly.on.strengths.

and weaknesses of all views. Cooperate in

seeking and evaluating additional information.

Source of power: From trust, skill, ability,

coordination, goodwill, creativity, mutuality.

Benefits: Trust and mutuality. High potential for

creativity and personal growth. Others blossom

and develop new gifts. This style has immense

rewards of satisfaction, energy and joy when

successfully used on meaningful issues.

Costs when over-used: Fatigue and time loss,

distraction from more important tasks, analysis

paralysis. Used for many trivial issues, people

weary. of. "too. much. processing".. . Attempted.

without attention to the skills and time required,

failure.is.likely;.cooperation.gets.a.bad.name..

Understanding Conflict Styles

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COMPROMISING

Medium focus on own agenda and medium focus on relationship

“I’ll meet you halfway...”

I win some and you win some.

Strategies: Urge moderation, bargain, split the

difference,.find.a. little.something.for.everyone,.

meet them halfway, give a little and take a little.

Source of power: From moderation, sense of

fairness, practicality, and pragmatism.

Benefits: Relatively fast, provides a way out of

stalemate, enables the show to go on. Emphasis

on fairness is readily understood by most people.

Builds atmosphere of cooperation.

Costs when over-used: Mediocrity and

blandness, possibility of unprincipled

agreements, likelihood of patching symptoms

and ignoring causes. Everyone gets a little, but

no.one.is.really.happy...Too-quick.compromises.

may..short-circuit.needed.in-depth.discussion.

AVOIDING Low focus on own agenda and low focus on relationship

“Forget it.... Conflict? What conflict?”

I lose and you lose.

Strategies: Withdraw, delay or avoid response.

Divert attention, suppress emotions, be

inaccessible or inscrutable.

Source of power:.From.calmness,.silence,.non-

cooperation, being unavailable or “above it all.”

Benefits: Freedom from entanglement in trivial

issues. or. insignificant. relationships,. stability,.

preservation.of.status.quo,.ability.to.influence.or.

block others without seeming negative.

Costs when over-used: Periodic explosions of

pent-up.anger,.“long.stretches.of.cottony.silence.

punctuated by terrifying explosions,” slow death of

relationships, residue of bad feeling. Stagnation,

dullness, declining interest and energy. Loss of

engagement and accountability.

Style Matters and ResearchA.2005.doctoral.s

tudy.using.Style.Matters.found.that.

the instrument performed well in reliability testing and is

“valid and reliable”.

In.2009-2010,.a.study.project.condu

cted.by.researchers.

at West Chester University of Pennsylvania administered

Style.Matters.to.more.than.300.subj

ects.and.tested.

various wordings of questions for validity and reliability,

standard benchmarks of consistency and accuracy of

measurement in testing. The researchers rated Style

Matters.well.on.both.counts,.and.rep

orted.their.findings.

to.the.academic.community.in.Octo

ber,.2010.[Braz,.

M.E.,.Lawton,.B.,.Kraybill,.R.S.,.&.D

aly,.K.,.“Validation.

of.the.Kraybill.Conflict.Style.Inventor

y”,..submitted.to.the.

96th.Annual.Convention.of.the.Natio

nal.Communication.

Association, San Francisco, CA.] This present edition of

Style.Matters.reflects.the.learnings.f

rom.this.study.

Riverhouse ePress actively supports objective scholarly

research.into.conflict.styles.by.prov

iding.access.to.

Style Matters at no cost to serious academic research

projects, while maintaining a policy of complete objectivity

regarding.findings..No.financial.or.o

ther.resources.have.

exchanged hands in these research projects.

The Kraybill Conflict Style InventoryMATTERS 13Copyright.2011..www.RiverhouseEpress.com

Page 16: Style Matters Conflict Style Inventory

HARMONIZINGLow focus on own agenda and high focus on relationship

“Sure, I’m flexible ...”

“Whatever you’re happy with is fine with me....“

You win and I lose.

Strategies: Agree, support, acknowledge error,

give in, convince self it’s no big deal, placate,

smile and say yes, grin and bear it.

Source of power: From relationships, approval

of.others,.from.fitting.in.

Benefits: Flexible and easy to work with, wins

approval and appreciation of others, creates

pleasant atmosphere. Freedom from hassle, at

least.in.the.short-term.

Costs when over-used: Frustration for others

who want the engagement of Problem-solving.

Resentment, depression, and stunted growth of

personal gifts in the Harmonizer. Dependency on

others..Denies.others.the.benefit.of.confrontation.

if the Harmonizer accepts unhealthy patterns or

behaviors that ought to be challenged.

Principles to Remember

1 . Diversity and conflict are part of being

human. Most people function better in

conflict.if.they.accept.that.it.is.a.normal.part.

of life.

2. Self management is the most important and

challenging.part.of.conflict.management.

3. Self-awareness of. your. conflict. style.

preferences and the strengths and dangers

of your preferred styles is a big step towards

self-management.

4. Style flexibility is the goal. No style is

always.best...Each.has.benefits.and.costs.

5 . Each conflict style has a particular set of

preferences for how to interact (pages.17-

19). Taking steps to meet these frees up

energy.for.addressing.the.issues.at.conflict...

6. No matter how aware or skillful you are,

you will still get hurt or fail sometimes.

We're human, not gods. Learn from

mistakes, make right what you can, forgive

when you are able, get on with things. Live

fully, not perfectly.

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DirectingMost useful when:

Øan emergency looms

Øthere.is.no.time.for.give-and-take.

discussion

Øyou are sure you’re right, and being right

matters more than preserving relationships

Øthe issue is trivial and others don’t really

care what happens

Øweaker parties need to be protected from

stronger ones

Øprinciples are at stake and must not be

compromised, regardless of cost

Least useful when:

ØCooperating has not yet been attempted

Øsupport and cooperation of others who

want to be treated as equals is important

Øused.routinely.for.most.issues;.others.

either get annoyed and resistant or fall

into passiveness and dependency in the

presence of someone who chronically

directs

Øself-respect.of.others.is.diminished.

needlessly

CooperatingMost useful when:Øthe issues and relationships are both

significantØlong-term.ability.to.work.together.is.

importantØa creative outcome is importantØtime and energy are available for

discussionØreasonable hope exists to meet all

concerns

Least useful when:Øtime is shortØthe issues are trivialØyou’re overloaded with “processing”Øthe goals of the other person are wrong

beyond doubt

Choosing Responses to ConflictWe.are.most.successful.in.conflict.when.we.are.flexible.in.our.abilities.and.can.use.each.of.

the.five.styles.skillfully.as.needed...However,.most.people.rely.on.one.or.two.preferred.styles.

and use them unthinkingly in all.conflicts,.regardless.of.the.circumstances...This.section.will.

help you make conscious choices about which style is best in a given situation or moment.

The Kraybill Conflict Style InventoryMATTERS 15Copyright.2011..www.RiverhouseEpress.com

Page 18: Style Matters Conflict Style Inventory

CompromisingMost useful when:

Øgetting a quick settlement matters more

than exploring all possible options.

Øworking together is important, but time or

resources to Cooperate fully are limited

Øwhen settling on some solution, even if

less than ideal, is better than a complete

stalemate

Øwhen efforts to Cooperate will be

misunderstood as Directing

Least useful when:

Øin-depth.analysis.or.finding.the.most.

creative solution possible is essential (use

Cooperating.instead)

Øwhen you can’t live with the consequences

of getting less than what you want or need

Ødeep principles or values are at stake

AvoidingMost useful when:

Øthe issue is trivial

Øthe.relationship.is.insignificant

Øtime to talk is limited and a decision can be

delayed for now

Øyou have little power to openly resist an

opponent but you don’t want to actively go

along with their wishes

Least useful when:

Øyou care about both the issues involved and

the relationship

Øused habitually for most issues (leads to

“explosions”.or.“freeze-out”)

Øa residue of negative feelings is likely to

linger

Øothers. would. benefit. from. constructive.

confrontation

Øyour role or duties oblige you to take a stand

(even though you may personally prefer to

Avoid.or.Harmonize)

HarmonizingMost useful when:

Økeeping others happy is the most important

goal

Øexpressing your wishes may bring

retaliation from others and you have no

means to protect yourself

Øyou really don’t care about the issue

Øyou are powerless and have no wish to

block the other person

Least useful when:

Øyou are likely to harbor resentment

Øused habitually in order to win acceptance

by.others.(outcome:.lack.of.self-respect.

and personal growth in you and eventually

perhaps.depression)

Øothers wish to Cooperate and will feel like

Directors if you Harmonize

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st.quality.conflict.

style inventory on the market (in clarity, ease of

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How to bring out the best in someone who scores high in Directing

• People who use the Directing style a lot are often task oriented. They are usually quite productive and concerned to get the job done. Engage them and let them know you are committed to the task at hand or resolving the issue satisfactorily. If you need time to think things through or cool.down,. they.are.usually.fine.with.this. if.you ask, so long as you indicate clearly a commitment to returning to resolve things. You will get a more positive response if you state.specifically.when.you.will. come.back.(e.g., in an hour, or tomorrow at nine o’clock, etc).

• Though their task focus makes it easy to forget the feelings and needs of others, many Directors feel deeply responsible for those around them and may feel quite bad if they realize they have wounded others. Look for ways to engage them about the needs of others in settings where they are not in the middle of a big job.

• Directors usually prefer to deal with things now and get anxious when others are silent or passive. Don’t withdraw without giving some clue about your intentions. Lack of information about this will increase their anxiety and anger.

• A Directing person who is angry can be quite intimidating, for this style is the most active, and “in your face” when anger is high. If this person has a history of abusing others emotionally or otherwise and holds more power than you, look for a path to safety or shelter. If the person is basically healthy emotionally, simply asking for a chance to cool off and think often helps, so long as you state clearly your intention to return and work on things.

How to bring out the best in someone who scores high in Cooperating

• Feeling heard helps all styles, but Cooperators respond particularly well to efforts to structure conversation around listening. Hear them out fully and you are

Strategies for Working with Styles of OthersYou can do a lot to help people with styles different from your own feel more comfortable in

conflicts.and.thus.function.more.constructively...Read.and.discuss.the.information.below.with.

people who live or work with you. If you talk when things are calm about your styles and what

you.need,.you.will.know.what.to.do.to.make.things.easier.in.difficult.times.....As.you.get.familiar.

with. the. styles,. you.will. soon. find. you. can. recognize. style. preferences. even. in. complete.

strangers, and you will know how to respond in situations that previously confounded you.

The Kraybill Conflict Style InventoryMATTERS 17Copyright.2011..www.RiverhouseEpress.com

Page 20: Style Matters Conflict Style Inventory

likely to be surprised at how well they listen to you in return.

• Most Cooperators value directness and candor, so long as you are polite. Saying what you want and need will be appreciated, particularly if you manage to say it in an attitude of “providing information about what matters most to me” rather than criticizing or making demands.

• If you are a Harmonizer or Avoider, resist the temptation to back off from an assertive Cooperator. Yes, Cooperators do speak out, but they truly want to hear your views too. If you are silent or too quick to agree, the Cooperator ends up feeling like a Director, which is not at all the intention.

• Bring a blend of task and relationship focus to.the.conversation...Affirm.work.well.done.

• Like the directing style, Cooperators particularly appreciate information about what is going on, and tend to become anxious or upset if others pull away without signalling their intentions. Don’t withdraw without giving a clear explanation, such as, “I want to go for a walk for half an hour to think things through. Then I’ll come back and we can talk some more.”

How to bring out the best in someone who scores high in Avoiding

• Avoiders.benefit.more.than.any.other.style.from an offer to give them time and/or space to withdraw and think things through. You are more likely to get a “yes” answer about

anything you need from them if you use a “two-step”.approach..The.first.step. is. to. let.Avoiders.know.–.in.thoughtful.tones.-.what.you want and that you’d like them to think about it. Then come back later – an hour, a day,.a.week.-.and.hear.their.response.

• Stay. low-key.. . . The. more. intense. or.demanding you are, the more likely the Avoider will go into major withdrawal.

• There. is. a. significant. subgroup. of. conflict.Avoiders who are actually quite task focused, but in a particular way. They bring a high level of caution and attention to detail to. everything. they. do;. they. are. concerned.not to put important things at risk. These Avoiders need data and information, presented in a calm and methodical way, in order to comfortably enter negotiations. Look for ways to provide them with relevant details, about plans, options, costs, rules, precedents from elsewhere, expected results, how surprises will be dealt with, etc. If possible, give them time to absorb this information before expecting them to negotiate...See.two-step.approach.above.

• Haste in decision making tends to push Avoiders into withdrawal or analysis paralysis. Move slowly, one step at a time.

How to bring out the best in someone who scores high in Compromising

• Compromisers have a strong sense of reciprocity. More than other styles, they are likely to respond in kind if you back

Et cetera•.The free Trainers Guide makes it easy for

anyone.to.lead.a.successful.conflic

t.styles.

workshop, even if you’ve never trained before!

See.the.first.page.of.this.doc.for.info

.to.

download.

•.There.are.many.free.resources.on

.conflict.

styles on web listings on our site.

Go to www.RiverhouseEpress.com In the left

menu, click on “Resources”.

•.A.simple.ten-slide.Powerpoint.pres

entation.

on the frontpage of the Riverhouse website

explains.the.basics.of.conflict.styles

...Great.

for individual users or trainers can project it

in a classroom with a Powerpoint projecter.

Riverhouse.offers.a.money-back.gu

arantee.

to any user who is not happy with what they

purchase...After.five.years,.we.still.h

ave.had.no.

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More information is available on the website at

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off somewhat from your initial position. Leave room to negotiate when you make your opening request.

• Compromisers value fairness and moderation. Think and speak in terms of “being fair”, “fair play”, “reasonable”, “you give some, I give some”, “give and take”, etc.

• Compromisers. tend. to. value. efficiency. of.time.and.energy.and.are.eager.to.find.a.way.through to a practical solution that ends the difficulty...A.sense.that.a.fair.and.moderate.deal was achieved probably matters more than talking through all options.

• As the Compromiser does not enjoy prolonged debate, a determined partner in Directing or even Cooperating style may, with strong logic, be able to persuade her she is wrong, creating an appearance the more forceful person has “won”. However, the victory may be hollow. The Compromiser’s deep inner sense that conclusions should be reciprocal and balanced will be disturbed. Trust, openness and cooperativeness will suffer.on.the.long-term.....Find.concessions.for the Compromiser, even if you are sure your argument is stronger.

How to bring out the best in someone who scores high in Harmonizing

• Harmonizers want to please and be pleased. Pay attention to small social niceties. More than any other style, Harmonizers will be positively affected by gestures of thoughtfulness – a kind note, an

appreciative.comment,.flowers,.a.chocolate.bar, a card, etc.

• You will get more cooperativeness in doing serious work with Harmonizers if you use a. two-step. approach.. . First,. connect. at.a human level (ask how they are doing, inquire about a family member, tease a little, compliment them, thank them for something,.etc.)..Then,.and.only.then,.settle.down to business. The human connection always comes before work for Harmonizers (an.insight.that.is.especially.difficult.for.task-oriented Directors.to.remember).

• Stay light. Seriousness or heaviness in others quickly stirs anxiety in Harmonizers and makes it hard for them to focus or stay on task. Use humor. Appreciate the relationship or their good qualities out loud if you can honestly do so.

• Assure them repeatedly that you really want to know their preferences and views. Thank them sincerely if they do level with you. If they bring criticism, thank them generously, for it requires great effort for Harmonizers to be direct about anything negative.

• In meetings or extended conversations with Harmonizers, take breaks and lighten up on a regular basis. Long, heavy discussion unsettles Harmonizers and pushes them to unhelpful places more quickly than other styles.

Also check out… Style Matters

OnlineThe web version is our cutting edge, the place where we

easily adapt to the unique needs of our clients. Style

Matters Online provides many features that can’t be

offered in a print version:

•.Fully automated scoring

•.Easy forwarding of scores by email to anyone the user

chooses.•.Two score reports tailored to each user. The Basic

Report is a one page summary of scores. The

Advanced.Report.is.a.four-page.r

eport.packed.with.

info and practical suggestions. Shows you which

styles you should pay attention to, excesses to avoid,

what you need from others to be effective, etc.

•.An.in-depth,.self-guided.tutorial.

.explains.every.aspect.

of.conflict.styles.

•.Short essays on cultural issues, anger management,

a.template.to.make.a.self-tailored

.list.of.Support.

Strategies based on a user’s scores, and more.

•.Many trainers have users take the Online Version

before a workshop and come to the workshop with the

printout.in.hand..Bingo,.30.extra.m

inutes.of.workshop.

time!•.An optional Consultant’s Access automatically sends

your clients’ scores to you and prevents them from

seeing their scores until you are present.

•.An optional Group Report enables you to get a printout

of all scores of your class or group on one Excel

printout. Names are withheld unless you have given

written.notification.to.your.users.

•.An optional “Welcome Page” can be set up on our site,

accessed only by a link you give to your students or

clients, to welcome them. You write the text and have

easy editing access at any time.

The Kraybill Conflict Style InventoryMATTERS 19Copyright.2011..www.RiverhouseEpress.com

Page 22: Style Matters Conflict Style Inventory

1. Discuss scores in pairs or trios. After sharing

your.scores,.tell.a.story.about.a.conflict.you’ve.

been.a.part.of...Do.the.scores.fit.your.real-life.

response?...What.styles.would.you.like.to.get.

better.at?...If.your.numbers.suggest.a.significant.

shift in style from calm to storm, are you aware

of.making.such.a.shift?..What.factors.are.most.

likely.to.trigger.this.shift.in.you?...How.does.

the.shift.affect.others?

2. Meet in small groups of similar-style people.

For example, in one group is Directors, in

another Cooperators, etc. If you have nearly

equal scores in two styles, choose the style

that.seems.to.get.you.in.difficulty.the.most....

Discuss the information in the pages above

about the style of your particular group. Go

around the small group and give each person

chance.to.reflect.on.himself.or.herself:

• Which strengths of the style do you see present

in.your.handling.of.life.and.relationships?

• Which weaknesses or costs from overuse do

you.see?

• Which.support.strategies.do.you.find.especially.

applicable.to.you?.

When you reconvene as a whole group, with

all styles present, have a reporter from each

small group give a summary of insights from

that group to the whole group, so others can

increase their understanding of each style.

3.. People.who.live.or.work.together.benefit.greatly from conversation about their styles.

A suggested discussion sequence:

• Share scores with each other.

• Reflect on the scores, with each person

responding to the questions in item 2 above.

• Recall a time when differences arose between

you...Do.the.scores.reflect.how.you.actually.

responded?

• Each.person.can.reflect.aloud,.in.the.presence.

of others, on the “Strategies for Supporting

Styles of Others” pages. Which strategies

would they particularly like others to use that

would.help.bring.out.the.best.in.the.speaker?

4. Have someone who knows you well take the

test “for” you based on their observation of you.

Then compare your own score for yourself and

the one they give you. Where do the scores

agree?..Where.do.they.differ?...What.are.the.

gifts.of.your.preferred.style(s)?..What.style(s).

do.you.want.to.work.on.for.improvement?...

More comprehensive still: Have several people

do this for you. In organizations, you can do

a.“360.feedback”.by.having.people.above,.

beneath, and on par with you take it “for” you.

(Do a web search on the phrase for tips and

cautions.)

Suggestions for Reflection and Discussion

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5. People in teams and organizations will be

rewarded by discussing the impact of styles in

times.of.negotiation.or.decision-making...Each.

style has different preferences for how to go

about things (e.g., how direct and open to be

in.stating.preferences,.how.much.relationship-

building.time.to.include.in.decision-making,.how.

rapidly.to.make.decisions,.etc.)..Discuss:.What.

insights.do.we.get.about.our.collective.decision-

making.processes.from.looking.at.these.scores?..

About.difficulties.we’ve.encountered?.About.

how.to.improve.decision-making.in.the.future?

6.. People.in.teams.and.organizations.also..benefit.by.discussing.difficult.style.combinations...A.lot.of.

conflicts.escalate.because.the.people.involved.

have different style preferences and thus prefer

differing approaches to dealing with differences.

For example, Directors and Cooperators want

to put things right out there and talk about them

now, whereas Avoiders prefer to step back and

think.about.things.first...Each.tends.to.assume.

that."good".people.would.use.the.approach.

they favor. As a result, there are now two

sources.of.tension.-.one.about.the.issues.and.

the other about how to deal with the issues!

With others in your team or organization, identify

particular pairings of styles that commonly

cause.difficulties...Think.about.recent.conflicts...

In.what.ways.did.style.expectations.play.a.role?..

What insights can people exchange about the

needs of the styles involved that would ease

future.conflicts?...

7. If your group has people from both individualist

and collectivist cultural backgrounds (see Note

1.first.on.page.20),.you.can.have.an.illuminating.

discussion. Separate into small groups of

individualists only or collectivists only. Ask

each.group.to.create.a.picture.showing.a.conflict.

someone in their group has experienced, using

vehicles as a major part of the drawing. Have

each group share with the larger group: What

kind of vehicles did they choose for the parties

and.why?..Who.is.driving.the.vehicles?..Who.

else is in the picture and with what connections

to.the.conflictants?..What.factors.do.conflictants.

consider in deciding how to respond to the

conflict?..When.all.groups.have.shared,.reflect.

as a whole group: What insights did you gain

about differences between individualist and

collectivist.conflicts?

8. Here is a discussion for group settings that

inspires hope:

Select two people who work together and have

different styles, but know and trust each other

well. Have them talk in the presence of the

whole group about their style differences, how

they see each other, how they have learned

to work with and respect each others’ style

differences, etc.

The Kraybill Conflict Style InventoryMATTERS 21Copyright.2011..www.RiverhouseEpress.com

Page 24: Style Matters Conflict Style Inventory

1. People from individualist/low context cultures

(like mainstream North America, western and

northern.Europe,.and.their.derivatives).assume.

freedom to make choices with little reference to

roles, customs, group expectations, or others in

the surroundings. They are concerned with:

What. do. I. want?. . What. does. my. opponent.

want?. .What. should. I. do. now?. . Individuals. in.

dispute. think,. “I. am. in. a. conflict”. and. respond.

accordingly.

People from collectivist/high context cultural

backgrounds (like Southern Europe, Latin

America, Asia, Middle East, Africa, and

aboriginal.cultures).are.more.likely.to.think.“we".

have. a. conflict”,. a. reference. to. their. personal.

social network which may or may not include the

opponent. Every response has to be considered

in light of implications for others, such as family,

friends, colleagues. This larger context offers both

constraints and resources in the form of social

networks, customs, values, intermediaries, lines

of.influence,.and.expectations...Numerous.things.

indicate whether are free to express a wish or

viewpoint to others and if so, how strongly. These

include environment, age and status, roles, duty,

connections, and obligation to uphold customs.

The collective creates powerful expectations for

all about what is proper conduct, regardless to

personal.preferences.or.conflict.styles.. . .So.no.

matter what your personal style preference is,

your opinion is less likely to be challenged if you

are from the oldest family in such a community,

or are an elder in your tribe or the PhD with the

most recognition in your university. And you are

unlikely to feel free to negotiate as an equal with

such a person if your status is near the bottom.

Modern people have at least some experience

with both modes, irrespective of where we live.

In airports and commercial centers in big cities

everywhere in the world, many people operate

in individualist/low context mode. Who they

are, their past, their social status are often

neither known nor expected to be known in such

settings. People do their business, say what

they need, and pass on.

Similarly, pockets of collectivist/high context

behavior exist in individualist environments.

Family gatherings, small religious congregations,

cliques of old buddies, neighborhood restaurants

with a local clientele are all settings where

everyone knows “the rules” and behaves

accordingly.

Your context may give you less freedom than you

wish to respond in the ways you prefer. That’s

life. This inventory is about you and expanding

Notes and Acknowledgements

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your responses, it is not about context or trying

to change it. Still, to be able to name what is

going on and examine the options almost always

helps....The.more.you.understand.conflict.styles,.

the better your chances of responding in ways

that are transformative, for you, for your opposite

in.conflict,.and.for.the.community.around.you.

2. The.concept.of.mapping.response.to.conflict.as.the.

interplay of task vs. relationship, or assertiveness

vs. cooperativeness, is generally credited to

Robert Blake and Jane Mouton, and their classic

The Managerial Grid (Gulf Publishing, Houston,

TX,.1964). It has been adopted by many others,

including Kenneth W.Thomas and Ralph H. Kilmann

in their Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument

(Tuxedo.NY:.Xicom,.1974).and.Jay.Hall.in.his.Conflict

Management Survey (Teleometrics International,

Inc.,.The.Woodlands,.TX,.1973)...Of.these,.the.most..

widely. used. is. the. Thomas-Kilmann. Instrument,.

which names the styles Competing (equivalent to

Directing.in.this.inventory),.Collaborating.(equivalent..

to. Cooperating),. Compromising,. Accommodating.

(equivalent.to.Harmonizing).and.Avoiding..

3. The awareness that many people experience

a stress shift from calm to storm comes from

Susan Gilmore and Patrick Fraleigh, authors of

the insightful personality inventory, The Gilmore-

Fraleigh Style Profile (Eugene, OR: Friendly

Press).

4. I learned a great deal about the needs and

dynamics of different personality styles from

Barbara Date, who was taught by Professor

Gilmore. and. has. used. the. Gilmore-Fraleigh.

instrument for many years.

The Kraybill Conflict Style InventoryMATTERS 23Copyright.2011..www.RiverhouseEpress.com

Page 26: Style Matters Conflict Style Inventory

The Kraybill Conflict Style Inventory.is.a.research-validated, easy-to-use.self-assessment.tool.that.shows.how.to.manage.your.responses.to.conflict.more.effectively. It describes and scores five different styles of conflict response to help you understand yourself and others. It also has features not found in other.conflict.style.inventories:

• Support strategies for dealing with each style

• Special instructions for diverse cultural backgrounds

• Recognition of differing responses in Calm and Storm settings

Useful in many settings:

• Individuals can use it alone.

• Teams can discuss the results as a group.

• Managers and project leaders will learn how to bring the best out of each team member.

• Human resources professionals can help individuals.and.teams.improve.conflict.resolution..and create a better working atmosphere.

• Mediators and negotiators can improve their skills or use it to train people entering talks.

• Trainers in.conflict.resolution.or.leadership.skills.can plan sessions ranging from one hour to a day around it.

• Consultants.can.give.clients.specific.feedback.to.improve.handling.of.conflict..

• Religious leaders can strengthen their skills in congregational.conflicts.

• Teacher and professors can lead students in an.easy.and.practical.introduction.to.conflict.resolution.

“ I have found the KCSI a wonderful tool in both mediation and counseling settings in the U.S. and internationally. It has been especially helpful in my leadership training courses taught in the U.S., Philippines, and Congo-DRC.”

Tony Redfern, Executive Director, New Path Center, Inc., Kingsburg, California

“ Having used the KCSI for several years, I can say it is hands-down the best thing on the market. Extremely useful for training. The results can be used to move into a discussion on cultural competency, on mediation approaches, or to launch a group into specific training such as interest-based negotiation. I have also used it with professionals (engineers, planners, lawyers) and find it effective in introducing concepts and skills of conflict resolution.”

Laura.Bachle,.Confluence.Consulting

“ Finally, a multi-faceted tool that unpacks a diversity of conflict styles without putting one in a box. Bravo! ”

Carl Stauffer Co-.ordinator,.Regional.Peace.Network.Southern.Africa, Mennonite Central Committee

“ Concise, well organized, with easy-to-follow instructions. Interpretation is clear, simple, and specific. The helpful ‘Hot Tips for Working with Styles of Others’ reflect the competence and experience of the author.

Marcus G. Smucker, seminary professor and congregational consultant, Lancaster, Penna.

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