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7 Common Myths About Narcissism

7 Myths about Narcissism

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We have all worked with one. We have all hated one. Now learn about the 7 common misconceptions and myths about Narcissism.

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Page 1: 7 Myths about Narcissism

7 Common Myths About Narcissism

Page 2: 7 Myths about Narcissism

A hallmark of narcissism is overconfidence. But there's one thing that narcissists can legitimately be confident about:

Not all that we assume about narcissism is true.

Page 3: 7 Myths about Narcissism

No, it's not. Someone can have really high self-esteem and not be narcissistic. The key difference is that people high in self-esteem focus on relationships and narcissists are missing that piece about caring about relationships. They want to know what other people can do for them, but in terms of having close emotional relationships, they don't care.

1. Narcissism is

really high self-

esteem.

Page 4: 7 Myths about Narcissism

People assume that narcissists must be concealing some deep insecurity or they actually hate themselves. But the data don't back it up. Even if you measure self-esteem in a subtle, unconscious way, deep down inside, narcissists think they're awesome. It's important to understand that this is a myth because when people act like jerks and they behave narcissistically, often others will say that the solution is that they really need to boost their self-esteem. Well, that's not going to help. That's exactly their problem.

2. Deep down,

narcissists are

insecure and have

low self-esteem.

Page 5: 7 Myths about Narcissism

People think, "Well, maybe narcissists have a reason for being this way." That's not true. When you look at objective measures of intelligence and beauty, narcissists are just like everybody else. They just think they're great. They're legends in their own minds. If you ask narcissists how attractive they think they are or how smart they think they are, they rate themselves high. But when you look at an actual IQ test, or someone else rating their photograph, they're average.

3. Maybe narcissists

have a reason for

being narcissistic.

Page 6: 7 Myths about Narcissism

You have to ask, "Healthy for whom?" Narcissism is basically never healthy for other people. It tends to work out OK for the narcissist in the short term, but in the long term, they end up messing up their relationships at work and at home, and they end up depressed later in life.

4. A little narcissism is

healthy.

Page 7: 7 Myths about Narcissism

Physical vanity is a correlate of narcissism, but there are plenty of other aspects of narcissism, including materialism, entitlement, antisocial behavior, and problems in relationships.

5. Narcissism is just

physical vanity.

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Narcissism isn't linked to success. Self-esteem isn't even linked to success. So why do people make this association? It's partly because we think that self-admiration is always good, and it's partly because highly successful narcissists are highly visible, like Donald Trump and Paris Hilton. But there are plenty of people who are successful in those fields who we haven't heard of because they don't have their own TV show with "Money, Money, Money" playing in the theme song. They're just as successful; they're just not on TV.

6. You have to be

narcissistic to be

successful.

Page 9: 7 Myths about Narcissism

The reality is that if you love yourself too much, you won't have any left over for anyone else. Again, keep in mind that if you hate yourself and you're really depressed, you're probably not going to be a great relationship partner either. But people with low self-esteem are perfectly good relationship partners most of the time. They can be insecure, but they do care about their partners, unlike people who are narcissistic.

7. You have to love

yourself to love

someone else.

Page 10: 7 Myths about Narcissism

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Adapted from “7 Myths About Narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder “ by Lindsay Lyon, USNews.com, April 21, 2009