Analyising and editing article copy

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<p>Here I only made small changes to the opening paragraph of our double page spread copy; the main change I made was highlighting the fact that we as producers and subjects have a personal mobile phone obsession.</p> <p>Here the only changes which have been made are surrounding the obsession of mobile phones with celebrities. </p> <p>In this part of our copy I have inserted, edited and changed a number of things. I have included ourselves into the copy and talked about how we are obsessed I also corrected grammatical mistakes and I changed the end part as it didnt make sense.</p> <p>Here I have had to change the tense the copy was written in, it had been written as if we, the filmmakers wrote it whereas it needs to be written from the magazines point of view.</p> <p>Here I inserted a quote from one of our experts as it gives the copy for our double page spread more variety and engages more with the documentary. </p>