Ten Cat Tricks(Every Human Should Know)

By Pamela Merritt

It's all about the communication.

Copyright 2007-2009 Pamela Merritt – All Rights Reserved

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Why It's Important to Learn Cat Tricks

Cat Kisses

Fist of Friendship

Petting in Place

The Standby

Handling the Belly

The Shift

The Drape

The Lap Cat

Vulcan Mind Meld

The Game of Mutual Regard

Enjoy the Cat!

Why It's Important to Learn Cat Tricks

A lot of people think a cat should be handled and disciplined as they would a dog. A lot of people complain that their cat does not act like a dog. A lot of people are frustrated and confused by the cats they encounter, and they think it's the cat's fault.

A) Cats are not dogs. And, B) it's not the cat's fault.

It's not entirely the human's fault, either. People either don't know how to approach a cat and ask for their friendship; or they do know, but they don't know how to explain it to other people.

This eBook is designed to bridge that gap. Use it, send it to others, and impress your friends with your new Cat Tricks.

It's a lot easier to train us than it is to change the cat. Which is something cat fans wouldn't want to do in a million years.

Ever wonder why some people love cats? Ever puzzled by others enjoying a pet you find difficult to understand? Ever wish your cat would love you more?

Get started with my Top Ten Cat Tricks.

That every human should know.

Cat Kisses

Ever notice that when cats are happy, they half-close their eyes?

Here, Cookie demonstrates the heavy lidded "look of love" we are always happy to get from our cat. But many people don't know we can return that message in Cat Speak.

Cats have a number of body language moves they use with other cats. Many of them are unavailable to us, since (from the cat's point of view) we lack moveable ears, we walk upright, and we have no tail. However, cats are marvels at reading expressions, and this is why they often study our face for clues to our intentions.

Using our own facial expressions lets us "Speak Cat." If we find ourselves matching gazes with our cat, try slowly opening and closing our eyes. The slower we do this, the better we convey our affection. When the cat does the same, be thrilled!

We have just exchanged "cat kisses."

This is an instinctive behavior of the cat that even kittens possess. We see it when the cat sees something they like, when they are feeling good, and when they want to show friendliness to another cat.

Do not mistake this for the "narrowed eyes" which mean they feel threatened. That is when the cat draws back their face and pulls their eyes into a stretched position, accompanied by tightly folded ears and maybe showing some teeth.

When they are bestowing cat kisses, their face is relaxed, and their ears are upright, sagging in relaxation, or maybe tipped back in curiosity. We might even see the

"happy ears," as in this picture of RJ, where the ears swivel outward to form a smile over their face.

In this picture, we see the end stage of cat kisses, where the cat has their eyes closed because they are smiling. If the cat avoids our gaze, this is a sign they are working on their trust with us. There is always a point where we do make contact, and we should try to fit a cat kiss into the transaction.

The cat kiss is the least threatening way we can convey our good intentions, without the baggage of the raised hand for petting (could be an attack!) or trying to hug them (they're moving in on me!) They can be the important first step in establishing trust with a traumatized cat.

One clue that RJ's early deprivation had stymied his development was the way he would give us cat kisses, but not return ours. He was instinctively expressing his affection for us without realizing he was doing it. By patiently returning his cat kisses, and initiating cat kisses during cuddle sessions, we taught him how to communicate, and now he loves to do this with us.

It's also a great way to exchange greetings when we are busy, or the cat is.

Even small children know how to send kisses to other people. There is a way to send that same love to our cats.

Try it.

My blog has many ways to get closer to your cat. Visit The Way of Cats. See all of my CAT

AFFECTION posts.

Fist of Friendship

This is one of those times when our instincts work against a cat's instincts. It's a universal human signal to approach someone with an open hand. Anthropologists think it means, "I have no weapons." From a friendly wave to an offer of a handshake, humans use the open hand to signal friendliness. We use our fist to signal aggression.

But this doesn't work on cats.

The reason a shy cat skitters away from our open hand is because that means they might be grabbed, and they don't like the odds. So when we approach with a closed fist, it sends a more reassuring signal. We are not trying to grab them. Our intentions are good.

When a cat is being very aggressive towards another cat, what does their paw look like? That's right; widespread, with claws extended. The folded hand also safeguards us against poking them. Cats are cautious around spiky objects that could injure their delicate facial areas. Even my own cats, who have no fear of our open hands, can suddenly turn their head for extra contact and get my finger in their ear or eye. When I use my fist as a petting tool, I make sure that doesn't happen. We have to realign our own inclinations to realize how the cat interprets our gestures. We can feel hurt when we extend our hand for petting; and the cat flees.

This "intention misinterpretation" is part of how people continue to give cats the wrong signal, and then get the wrong signal back.

We might have already played the Villain Hands game with our cats, without realizing how this same gesture plays out when we are approaching our cat at other times. The dynamic tension of the Villain Hands game is how we are playing with our cat's trust. Will we grab them for good or bad? The Villain Hands game ends with cuddling and a catharsis of the uncertainty built up over each other's intentions.

• What kind of gesture are we making?

• Will the cat accept our gesture?

When we cuddle, we both have resolved the tension, for a happy ending. With the shy or unknown cat, we don't have enough trust to play this as a game.

The cat is playing for real, and there's no fun in it for them because they don't know

what we mean by our open hand. Cats always err on the side of caution. So when we are still building trust, not yet having enough for them to give us the benefit of the doubt, use the Fist of Friendship.

This is using catspeak. This is communicating with them in their language.

We might be surprised how this simple change in our approach will speak volumes about our good intentions.

My blog has many ways to get closer to your cat. Visit The Way of Cats. See all of my CAT AFFECTION posts.

Petting in Place

How can we show a cat our affection when one of us is busy? We can use Petting in Place.

This is a wonderful Mutual Regard move that doesn't have to be very long or very involved. In fact, that's the beauty of this move. As difficult as it is telling cats we are busy when all we are doing is staring at a screen or printed page, it's just as difficult for cats to convey to us that they are also busy, when it seems like they are doing nothing.

What looks like nothing might be their pausing in the hallway while their ears are scoping out some stray sound. Or they are trying to locate that one hair that is out of place, so they can groom it back in. Or they might look like they are sleeping, but what they are really doing is finally getting every part of their flexible body arranged for maximum comfort.

This is a bad time for some clueless human to swoop in, rearrange everything for the human's ease of petting, and then dump them back down. It's like having someone insist that we get out of bed "just" to take the garbage out. Sure, we can go back to bed right after. But we know there's no point; it has already been ruined.

It's especially annoying to the cat when this petting session is a drive-by. If we are going to commit to something serious, like making our lap available during The Godfather marathon, that's one thing. But to upend whatever they are doing just for a few rubs on the head or hearing "you are such a nice kitty"?

That is literally high-handed, and somewhat annoying. So show some respect.

Leave the cat where they are, and pet what's handy. That's the spirit of Petting in

Place. If they are standing up, run our hands along their sides. (Who knows, we might settle that stray hair.) If they are doing something, comment on it ourselves; peer out the window while we bestow an ear rub. If they are somewhat napping, pet their favorite places without rearrangement.

We can pet the cat whenever we want. It's nice to pet the cat when we are going out the door. It's sweet when we take a moment from our hot project to remember our buddy. It shows we care when we realize we haven't touched base lately. Often, the cat knows we are busy, and are busy themselves.

So let's not yank them out of their own projects and insist they make time for us, when all we want is a moment. If we respect their busyness, we've laid the groundwork for teaching the cat to respect our busyness.

If we miss each other, we'll take the time.

If we don't have the time, let's not promise more than we can give.

My blog has many ways to get closer to your cat. Visit The Way of Cats. See all of my CAT AFFECTION posts.

The Standby

How do we pet our cats with respect? One great way is to surprise them with The Standby. This Move of Mutual Respect works for any cat who will let us touch them.

We approach the cat while they are standing around, and they might expect us to pick them up, or try to. But we do not. (That's the surprise part.) Fooled ya! Thought I was going to pick you up!

Instead, we Pet In Place, by making the effort to connect with them as equals. Here we see RJ being petted while all four feet are on the floor. Usually, the cat is standing upright, but RJ often melts when we touch him. I got this just before he rolled over onto his back.

It's up to the cat how they react to The Standby. Some, like RJ, will roll around and all but beg us to be picked up anyway. Some will wind around our legs and rub their faces on us. Some will look up at us and enjoy this mutual hug that implies equality, because they are standing upright.

That is the beauty of this move. We are standing, or sitting, or kneeling, it doesn't matter. But the cat stays in their position, being embraced and admired while they are also not being babied or swept off their feet.

It's not that most cats mind those things. However, they also appreciate this option; being given their independence and autonomy while they are being petted. To understand why that is so, we need to put ourselves in the cat's place for a moment.

If we remember that far back, we were once in that position. Our parents or grandparents once were much bigger and taller than we were. Most of the time, it was great to be swept into their arms. But we also appreciated the times they would drop down to a knee, or put us on their lap, and speak to us without the dizzying, disorienting feeling of having our feet off the ground.

Also, cats are extremely flexible. They have 30 vertebrae, compared to a human's 26. Their spine is designed for leeway, since it does not have to support a human's upright posture. Part of a cat's predatory advantage is the way they can twist and turn. But they like to do this on their own.

When a human picks them up, they should be supported at all points, so they won't fear twisting the wrong way and hurting themselves. But we can be even more affectionate when we don't pick them up at all. We avoid any hint that we are more powerful and bigger, even though we are.

Emphasizing our weight and height advantage is something we must use with care. Asserting it is not a form of affection. When we pet with The Standby, we are doing something the cat likes, the way they like it.

We can pet any part of them, we can hold their torso and sway it back and forth, we can rub their ears and stroke their tails. But we let them stay where they are, uninterrupted from what they were planning to do.

We can enjoy them on their terms. Not ours.

That's a great way to show respect.My blog has many ways to get closer to your cat. Visit The Way of Cats. See all of my CAT AFFECTION posts.

Handling the Belly

What does it mean when a cat rolls over and offers us their belly? It is a show of trust.

However, it is not necessarily a good idea to pounce on that tempting belly and rub it as we would a dog's. Because when a dog does it, it is a submissive gesture. They are going to submit.

When a cat does it, it is a trust gesture. Can they trust us to respond appropriately?

If this is a touchy cat, or one we do not know, we respond best by admiring the belly. We say nice things about the cat in a soft and sincere voice. We can give them the slow blinks of our eyes to communicate that we want to be friends.

If the cat wishes further contact, they will seek it.

If we want to follow up on this offer of friendship, we can slowly reach for the belly to gauge how comfortable the cat is with this implied contact.

If the cat lashes their tail, flattens their ears, or fixes their gaze on our hand, they are too excited, and are moving into prey mode. We should stop at this point, and continue our verbal interaction. It takes a great deal of trust for a cat to let us caress their belly.

Just as a beginning friendship proceeds in stages, belly showing is an opening gambit, not an end in itself. We might mention to a new friend some past trauma, but we would find it inappropriate for them to immediately launch into a blow-by-blow account of some terrible event of their own. It is too much, too soon. It rushes our comfort level.

Likewise, cats will start by displaying their belly, but this is not an invitation to grab at it. All our movements should be slow, and give us enough time to gauge the cat's comfort level. At this point the cat should be comfortable with us touching their head, so that is a great way to show our respect.

The next intermediate move is to touch a cat's front, or, as time goes on, rear, paw. If the cat touches back, that's fine. If the cat tries to grab it, they are still not sure of our intentions, and we should withdraw our hand.

When we slowly reach for the belly and the cat stays relaxed, with half-closed eyes, open ears, and quiet tail, we can gently lay our hand on the belly. That's all. The cat might grab our hand, and if they are too excited and show claws, we can say, "ow ow ow," and gently disengage ourselves.

Never yank our hand away; this is how people scratch themselves.

As we proceed in these easy stages, we will arrive at our destination; a cat who shows us their belly because they enjoy some gentle cuddling and soft petting that includes their whole body. Cats have gotten the unfair reputation of treachery because of their

belly behavior. People have told me the cat invites belly rubbing, and then attacks!

From the cat's point of view, they have extended their hand for a handshake, and gotten a full body hug with some outrageous fondling of their person. No one likes that.

It's simply miscommunication. People who treat cats the way they are used to treating dogs are always unpleasantly surprised when the cat reacts differently. They shouldn't be surprised. Cats are different, as these same people would be the first to complain about.

So rejoice in the sight of our cat's belly, and remember what the signal means; that the cat is beginning to trust us.

The next move is ours. Make it the right one for the moment.

My blog has many ways to get closer to your cat. Visit The Way of Cats. See all of my posts on WHY CATS DO THAT.

The Shift

To use this cat affection move, pretend we and the cat have equal size and weight. We lie on the floor, and see if the cat will let themselves be petted by only our outstretched arm, foot, or head; wherever we and the cat find the most mutual comfort. Neither of us should express it in a way the other finds distasteful.

By using only the body part the cat has chosen, we are expressing ourselves physically with something that is no bigger than they are. We are no longer huge and overwhelming. We are equal.

One of the best things about The Shift is that it works for any cat. Timid cats find their confidence increased by interacting with us in a way that does not make a point of our size and power. My cat Puffy loved this move because his presence was small, anyway, and hugging overwhelmed him. It also works when a cat's understanding of their surroundings is still not reliable, such as Reverend Jim.

But this move works equally well with cats whose problem is the opposite of timidity. There's the cat who tends to be belligerent, and is soothed by our presenting a less threatening presence. The cat who tends to be too rough will scale back; once we do. Even cats who have good relationships, such as James Bond, love this move because to them, it's funny.

We have the power to curtail our power, for them. We make the meeting ground between us as respectful as possible. By making the cat feel that our presence is even.

Cats do not obey the laws of physics. The cat knows we are actually larger and more powerful, but they know we are pretending not to be. This double-back pleases the cat. They are so impressed by our catspeak, that they cannot help but respond to this move in some way.

If we have never tried to pet the cat except as some looming, leaning-over entity, we might be surprised at the difference it makes to the cat. Presence, whether cat or human, is a combination of many factors, as much psychological as it is physical. Among friends, it becomes an exchange of taking turns exerting presence into each other's space. It's not just how big or small we or the cat may be, it's how much effort we will each put in towards expressing equality.

That's the hidden dimension we are able to bridge with The Shift. Being bigger than the cat, we should scale back to express an equal playing field of affection.

This is the Game of Mutual Regard. The cat's favorite game in all the world.

The more cunning our play, the more we engage the cat's thinking side.

And the cat's trusting side.

My blog has many ways to get closer to your cat. Visit The Way of Cats. See all of my CAT AFFECTION posts.

The Drape

We love a cat we can cuddle. Most cats will enjoy it, once we have built the proper trust.

But there are many intermediate moves we can make to build that trust, and one of the best is The Drape. As Dear Husband demonstrates with RJ, we scoop up the cat and drape their shoulders over our own. If the cat is still a bit apprehensive, they will draw up their paws to rest on our shoulders.

The key move to relax them is to not hug them or otherwise compel them to stay in this position. We want them to feel that it is their choice to hang out here. We are equals; we are just standing here, and they are not staying here because they have to, but because they want to.

After all, this is a nice, high, vantage point, the same as we have. They are naturally curious about it. The curiosity and enjoyment of

high places will distract an uncertain cat who is simply not sure what we are doing. We want them to be thinking I'm not sure what you are doing, but this is okay so far.

The cat who is curious will always be drawn in. As they get more comfortable, they will extend their front legs to hang down over our back, and relax their whole body. If they are getting used to this move, it's important not to walk around once we have them in The Drape.

Doing so will make them think we are trying to take them into some other place. If they have not yet built enough trust, they will wonder if they are being taken somewhere, where something unknown, and thus, unwanted, will occur.

We just hang out with them, talking softly, enjoying their closeness. It's fine to tilt our head their way, applying some gentle cuddling with our face. All of these are moves that demonstrate our own trust, and will encourage their own.

The only holding we should do, once we have them in position, is to let their back feet rest on our cupped hand to support the largest part of their body, their powerful hindquarters. But the rest of them should simply be draped over our own body.

It's a key component that we get them on our shoulder and then let go of most of them as simply and smoothly as we can. We want to convey that we are equals, communing with each other. Even a skittish cat like Puffy loved The Drape, back when his socialization was at an early stage. As long as I didn't walk around, I could

whisper to him, rub his head with my own, and let him relax all over me.

The crucial point, that I am not holding him here, that I am simply helping him into a position that he likes, is what lets The Drape work its magic. This magic is considerable.

Apprehensive cats find holding to be a frightening situation that reeks of compulsion. What are we going to do, where are we going to take them? They don't feel in control of the situation.

The Drape is a Mutual Respect move that we can get the cat used to when they are kittens. It can be a great first move for an adult cat, when we feel ready for more affection, but know the cat is not ready for cuddling. It can be a way of defusing their fears when we scoop them up and then... leave them there.

Some tentative moves as they get settled are to be expected. But if they indicate they want to get down, we should immediately let them down, with both swiftness and security. We can still try the move again, even shortly after. This will also let them know that we are not trying anything they won't like.

We just want to be friends.

My blog has many ways to get closer to your cat. Visit The Way of Cats. See all of my CAT AFFECTION posts.

The Lap Cat

How can we make our cat a lap cat? While not every cat has the same cuddling potential, there are things we can do which will make the cat comfortable with us and open to affection.

We should be firm in our resolve to never use physical discipline methods with our cats. They don't work. All they do is make the cat think we are dangerous and unreliable. This is not the best foundation for a close relationship.

Cats are never going to obey us because they are afraid of us. That will only make them avoid us. Once the cat trusts that our approach is about good things, we can get more physical with the cat.

Pet them and talk sweetly to them while they are sitting, lying, or standing, without disturbing their present position. Use our head and voice to make overtures. These are actions which extend respect for the adult cat's feelings.

Once we have made enough of a fuss over the cat, the cat will be compelled to make overtures of their own. This is something I can't emphasize enough, so here it is again.

If we fuss over the cat, the cat will fuss over us.

This simple Law of Reciprocity is essential for good cat relations. Remember, there is nothing in the cat's nature which requires them to be affectionate with us, unless we create an "affection deficit" which they must address.

That is our power; that is our only power.

A cat cannot ignore sweet overtures. Just as we find it difficult to not return a smile from a fellow human, a cat finds it difficult to not respond to continued demonstrations of our love and interest. Find the courage to express our devotion to the cat, and be confident that it will be returned.

In fact, our own confidence will communicate to the cat that our intentions are of the best. Soon, the cat will appear when we are in our own hanging out mode. If the cat appears while we are watching television, on the computer, or reading, take notice. Make a big deal about the cat's presence. Reach out to pet them; and if they are too far away, let our hand fall short.

Aw. That's too bad. We'd love to pet them. If only they were a little closer.

As we continue to extend our hand of friendship, the cat can't help but close the gap. As they get closer and closer to get their petting, we will find we can pat our chair, leg, even lap, and they will move near us to get their petting.

As we patiently up the stakes, the cat will be comfortable enough to relax near us, and then, on us. Many cats love the signal of putting a blanket over our lap; this changes the landscape from a puzzling, unreliable surface to something more accessible for them to curl up on. Mohammed, it is told, was so reluctant to disturb his sleeping cat that he cut away the sleeve of his robe rather than dislodge her.

While we don't have to literally follow his example, it is the respect and love Mohammed showed to his cat that will allow us to enjoy this most intimate of gestures. While not every cat can be a lap cat, every cat has the potential to show us the deepest love they are capable of expressing.

How deep is it?

Unless we show our own, we will never know.

My blog has many ways to get closer to your cat. Visit The Way of Cats. See all of my CAT AFFECTION posts.

Vulcan Mind Meld

It's not as sturdy or as clear as Mr. Spock's efforts, but neither I nor my cats have had the benefit of Vulcan training. But we do Mind Meld.

Face closeness is the ultimate cat compliment. Forehead to forehead contact expresses the cat's desire for mind melding.

When I invite a mind meld, I put my hands behind my back and lead with my face. I am communicating trust.

The cat will half close their eyes, let their ears relax, or even stretch out their neck to communicate their willingness to share this greatest of gestures. Together, we press foreheads.

When I first brought our new kitten home, Dear Husband, who deals with a chronic illness, was still in bed. I peeked in to see that he was awake, and let the kitten get on the bed. He marched up to Dear Husband and planted foreheads. He was communicating, as clearly as he could, that he wanted to be friends.

Cats will rub their faces on parts of our bodies, and let us pet their ears, chins, and faces. Follow their lead, express our own trust and relaxation, and we can achieve this kind of cat closeness.

This is not something that can be forced. Only invited.

Even cats who are hand shy, or dislike sitting on our laps, can express their true feelings with the Mind Meld. Approach them when they are lying on the bed, or sprawled on a favorite shelf. See if they are relaxed and communicating affection. Prime them with some "cat kisses," the long, slow, blinks of friendship.

Then, with our hands behind our back to show we have no bad intentions, we bring our faces close to theirs. Even if they shy away, we will get closer and closer. Until we are as close as we can be.

When I mind meld with Mr. Bond, he makes special noises in his throat that I only get when we do this. That's how special it is.

This is the prize winning Maine Coon, Wishin, from Blazers Cattery. Who obviously has a heart full of love. Like my Maine Coon mix, Reverend Jim.

Yes, to do this, we have to trust our cat.

That's the point.

My blog has many ways to get closer to your cat. Visit The Way of Cats. See all of my CAT AFFECTION posts.

The Game of Mutual Regard

Cats are unfairly characterized as being indifferent and not capable of showing affection. How can we make a cat more affectionate? We must play their game.

There are many games in Cat Poker, but the biggest game is called Mutual Regard. Where the aces are always wild, and we hold them.

Unlike dogs, cats don’t extend the paw of friendship automatically. Dogs don’t play the Game. They can’t. Despite any indifference a person may show to their dog, the dog keeps coming back. That’s their pack nature.

They must have social contact, they have to get it, they cannot be persuaded not to ask for it. Like the Bill Murray character in the movie What About Bob?, they need, they need, they need.

People who are used to the way dogs are capable of demanding attention can be thrown by what they perceive as the cat’s coolness

towards them.

Cats are wired differently. Once past the kitten stage, they want adult sensibilities in their relationships. No one is supposed to unilaterally override the other’s wishes. It’s a partnership, not an army. Each party is expected to take up the slack when needs shift and desires differ.

This is not a bug. It’s a feature.

So how do we show the cat that we understand The Game?

Take some time every evening to concentrate on the cat. Follow them around, chatting, with their name frequently mentioned. They will wander around, looking back to see if we are following, and maybe even take us on a tour of their favorite spots. Oh, here’s the window for birdwatching. Yes, here’s the food dish. Is it time for dinner already? Okay, let’s get our show on the road.

Perhaps our cat is displaying a reluctance to be picked up. After all that tussling as a kitten, we are hurt. Don’t they love us any more?

They do, but they also want to know that we can be trusted with their greater weight, and whether or not we will respect their adult wishes, now that they are getting some.

So use the tricks I've outlined in this eBook to show them we are aware of their feelings, we understand how to communicate with them, we want to make a fuss over them.

Don't be afraid to show we love them.

The person who cares enough to treat the gift of their cat's friendship with the honor it deserves will then see the cat’s next moves as an invitation to demonstrate our own devotion.

Then the cat, according to the rules, will have to make an extra effort of their own, and wait in suspense to see if we will keep on raising the stakes.

If we care, we will see them and raise them.

This is the Game of Mutual Regard.

All great things flow from the Game. Love. Harmony. Humor. Creativity. Peace. The joyous interplay of living beings reveling in each others company. Without the demands of authority and subservience creating stress and tension.

This is the feature set of cats, and it is a powerful one. It has let cats move into markets far beyond their original niche of rodent control. They command a compelling slice of the companion positions among artists, writers, inventors, scientists, and intellectuals. They have inspired poetry, memoirs, and outright worship across cultures. They hold the archetype of wisdom and mystery, hidden knowledge and deep secrets.

If we find ourselves needing to seek the cat out, seek the cat out.

It’s our turn.

This is the Game.

Image from The Fractal Art of Paul DeCelle My blog has many ways to get closer to your cat. Visit The Way of Cats. See all of my CAT AFFECTION posts.

Enjoy the Cat!

What is The Way?

A cat training philosophy that stresses communication.

A concept built on understanding the cat’s unique needs.

A method to create a loving pet through mutual respect.

That is when we know we are a Cat Perfect Master.

Explore the many ways cats ask for their needs to be met.

Make sure you are meeting them with my

cat care/problem solving eBook:

Cat 911