2013 – 2014 HCE Leadership Academy Managing Conflict: Dealing Effectively with Difficult Behaviors & Disagreement in the Workplace Building Strategies

1

2013 – 2014 HCE Leadership Academy

Managing Conflict: Dealing Effectively with Difficult Behaviors & Disagreement

in the Workplace

Building Strategies & Skills to Deal with Teammates (and Yourself) When the Going Gets Tough

WORKBOOK

Facilitated byFisher Consulting Group & Moffet Consulting

Caroline Fisher & Chris Moffet

• Understand your own style (both the benefits and limitations) for dealing with difficult behaviors & people in the workplace

• Respond to co-workers’ difficult behaviors and emotions (including anger, negativity, resistance, close-mindedness, fear, laziness, etc.)

• Understand what others need from you when they are not “at their best”

• Handle your own difficult behaviors and emotions (for those days when you wake up on the wrong side of the bed)

• Work with your boss, your peers and your direct employees to create more effective relationships

Outcomes & Focus:

Fisher Consulting Group, LLC & Moffet Consulting 2


“Us vs. Them” & “Me vs. You”!

What kinds of difficult behaviors have you encountered in the last six months?

What are the implications if you ignore difficult behavior?

WORKSHEET

• PWBA• Space

Invader• Knee-Jerk

Resister• Permanent

Hijacker• Ruthless

Critic• Verbally

Compulsive

• Avoider• Mr. Nice

Guy/Ms. Nice Gal

• Authoritarian• Busybody• The Sherman

Tank• Dead Beat

Truth is…they come in all sizes and shapes!


Did we miss any?

• What “problem behaviors” seem to push your buttons (or “hook” you)?

• What “problem behavior” do you display when you are not at your best?

• What problems do you generate for others when you display your problem behavior?

Getting “Hooked”:


Worksheet

So, why is it so hard?

Why do you think we have a hard time dealing with difficult behavior…


Discussion

In organizations?

As team members?

As individuals?

• Consider a real person in your life who is displaying a difficult behavior.

• Choose the specific situation you would like some help with (in association with this person).

• Describe the behavior and situation to the person seated next to you. Include the impact it is having (or did have) on you & others. Note what you have done to resolve the situation.

Bringing it Home – Making it Real:


Activity

Conflict Management Styles: The High Five!


Avoidance

Accommodation

Competition

Compromise

Collaboration

In your style-groups, answer the following questions. Be prepared to report out. • What triggers my style? (What specific situations/behaviors cause us to use

our “style”?)

• What is the “pay-off” (benefit) of our style? (In other words, what do we gain by using our style?)

• What is the “price” of our style? (In other words, what is the cost of using our style?)

• What are other style options we might employ to deal more effectively with conflict and problem-behaviors?

Style Questions - #1


Group Worksheet


‘Safe Conversations’ Framework

A Step-by-Step Model

A Model for Facilitating Difficult Conversations – and Resolving Conflict!

11Fisher Consulting Group, LLC & Moffet Consulting

1. CREATE RAPPORT Convey positive intention.

2. DESCRIBE SITUATION OR BEHAVIOR Describe the situation or behavior that you have observed or that is presenting a problem.

3. DESCRIBE IMPACT Explain your reaction to the situation or behavior, OR the actual impact of the behavior.

4. DIALOGUE Ask for the difficult person to respond (LISTEN!)

5. USE QBQ Ask a question to help the person start considering alternatives.

6. IDENTIFY ALTERNATIVES AND OPTIONS Discuss potential alternatives to remedy this situation or behavior, or have a dialogue around what the difficult person might have done differently.

7. DEFINE DESIRED RESULTS Express the potential results of the change (or of doing something differently next time).

‘Safe Conversations’:

A Step-by-Step Framework


Model

Key Concepts:

• A QBQ begins with _______ or ________

• Contains an ________ (may also be appropriate to say “we” or “you” in

a coaching situation)

• A QBQ focuses on ________

The QBQ…



The difficult person says… Coach them using QBQ’s

Using the QBQ: Examples

“Management doesn‘t recognize my value.”

“I’m simply not motivated.”

“There’s never any real change around here. When is someone going to do something about it?”

“We have changed enough - I wish they would stop making me change more!”

“My co-workers have terrible attitudes. My co-workers should leave their attitudes at home so I can have some peace!”

• What can you do to show your value?• How can you (or we) learn what management

values?

What can you do to become more motivated? What can you do to improve the quality of this situation?

• What can you do to properly encourage the changes you think are needed?

• How can we /you adapt to a changing world?

How can you help to create a better work environment?

What can you /we do to take advantage of change?

QBQ’s

Blaming/Problem Statements:Identifying the QBQ!


Worksheet

“My manager doesn't give me feedback. I don’t know how I am doing!”

“When is he/she going to start working as hard as the rest of us?”

“No one does things the way we should do them!”

“I don’t have enough time to get it all done! And now they are telling me I need to do more!”

“When will management change? This place would be better if they would be different.”

Progressive Accountability

SUGGEST

REQUEST

REQUIRE

1 Suggest

2 Request

3 Require

Suggestions from the Group


What other types of difficult behavior have you encountered?

Aggressive

Sabotagers

Know-It-Alls

Procrastinators

So…


Discussion Worksheet

What do you do when someone is REALLY ANGRY?

What do you do when someone bursts into tears?

What do you do when someone keeps getting you off-track?

• “But…everybody else is doing that, too!”

• “I always do it this way!”

• “Yeah…but my boss is so STUPID!”

• “Nobody around here is productive. It’s disgusting!”

How would you respond to…


Discussion Worksheet

1. What techniques already work for you?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2. Which new techniques will you experiment with?________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Techniques for Self-Regulation


Worksheet


ABOUT TODAY: Your Greatest Insight &

Your Commitment

21

www.holycrossenergyleadershipacademy.com

login = hceacademy

pw = hce2013

Caroline Fisher Chris Moffet

970-390-9420 970-471-4474

[email protected] [email protected]

HCE Academy: Let’s Stay Connected!

mailto:[email protected]

mailto:[email protected]

Documents

2013 – 2014 HCE Leadership Academy Managing Conflict: Dealing Effectively with Difficult Behaviors & Disagreement in the Workplace Building Strategies