7 Simple Ways to Say

8/21/2019 7 Simple Ways to Say

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7 Simple Ways ToSay No

Do you have difficulty sayingno? Are you always trying

to e nice to others at thee!pense of yourself?

Well" you#re not alone$ %n thepast" % was not good at saying

no" ecause % didn#t want tohurt the other person#s

feelings$

&or e!ample" whenever % get

re'uests for help" % would

attend to them even though %had important wor( to do$Sometimes the re'uests would

drag to )*+ hours or eveneyond$ At the end of the day"

% would forgo sleep to catchup on my wor($

After a while" % reali,ed allthese times of not saying no

-when % should. were nothelping me at all$ % was

spending a lot of time andenergy for other people and

not spending nearly as muchtime for myself$ %t was

frustrating especially since %rought it upon myself$ %

slowly reali,ed if % wanted

personal time" % needed tolearn to say no$

Why We &ind %t /ardTo Say No

To learn to say No" we have

to first understand what#sresisting us aout it$ 0elow

are common reasons whypeople find it hard to say no1

2$ You want to help$ 3ouare a (ind soul at heart$ 3ou

don#t want to turn the personaway and you want to help

where possile" even if it mayeat into your time$

)$ Afraid of being rude$ %was rought up under the

notion that saying No"


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especially to people who aremore senior" is rude$ This

thin(ing is common in Asiaculture" where face*saving is

important$ &ace*saving meansnot ma(ing others loo( ad$

+$ Wanting to beagreeable$ 3ou don#t want toalienate yourself from the

group ecause you#re not in

agreement$ So you confirm toothers# re'uests$

4$ Fear of conflict$ 3ou areafraid the person might e

angry if you re5ect him6her$This might lead to an ugly

confrontation$ ven if thereisn#t" there might e dissent

created which might lead tonegative conse'uences in the

future$

8$ Fear of lostopportunities$ 9erhaps youare worried saying no means

closing doors$ &or e!ample"one of my clients# wife was

as(ed to transfer to another

department in her company$Since she li(ed her team" she

didn#t want to shift$ /owever"she didn#t want to say no as

she felt it would affect herpromotion opportunities in the

future$

:$ Not burning bridges$Some people ta(e no as a

sign of re5ection$ %t might lead

to ridges eing urned andrelationships severed$


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%f you nodded to any of the

reasons" %#m with you$ They

applied to me at one point oranother$ /owever" in mye!perience dealing with

people at wor( and in life" %reali,ed these reasons are

more misconceptions thananything$ Saying No doesn#t

mean you are eing rude;neither does it mean you are

eing disagreeale$ SayingNo doesn#t mean there will

e conflict nor that you#ll loseopportunities in the future$

And saying no most definitelydoesn#t mean you#re urning

ridges$ These are all falseeliefs in our mind$

At the end of the day" it#saout how you say no"

rather than the fact you#resaying no" that affects the

outcome$ After all" you have

your own priorities and needs"5ust li(e everyone has his6herown needs$ Saying no is aout

respecting and valuing your

time and space$ Say no is yourprerogative$

7 Simple WaysTo Say No


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at the moment" so he6sheshould hold off on this as well

as future re'uests$ %f it ma(esit easier" you can also share

what you#re wor(ing on so theperson can understand etter$ %

use this when % have too manycommitments to attend to$

!. Nows not a good time asIm in the middle of

something. "ow about wereconnect at # time$

%t#s common to get suddenre'uests for help when you are

in the middle of something$Sometimes % get phone calls

from friends or associateswhen %#m in a meeting or

doing important wor($ Thismethod is a great way to

-temporarily. hold off there'uest$ &irst" you let the

person (now it#s not a goodtime as you are doing

something$ Secondly" you

ma(e (nown your desire tohelp y suggesting anothertime -at your convenience.$

This way" the person doesn#tfeel lown off$

%. Id love to do this& but'

% often use this as it#s a gentle

way of rea(ing no to theother party$ %t#s encouragingas it lets the person (now you

li(e the idea -of course" onlysay this if you do li(e it. and

there#s nothing wrong aoutit$ % often get collaoration

proposals from fellowloggers and usiness

associates which % can#tparticipate in and % use this

method to gently say no$ Theirideas are asolutely great" ut

% can#t ta(e part due to otherreasons such as prior

commitments ->2. or differentneeds ->8.$

(. )et me thin* about itfirst and Ill get bac* to+ou.

This is more li(e a aye

than a straight out No$ %f

you are interested ut youdon#t want to say @yes# 5ustyet" use this$ Sometimes %#m

pitched a great idea whichmeets my needs" ut % want to


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hold off on committing as %want some time to thin( first$

There are times when newconsiderations pop in and %

want to e certain of thedecision efore committing

myself$ %f the person is sincereaout the re'uest" he6she will

e more than happy to wait ashort while$ Specify a date 6

time*range -say" in 2*) wee(s.

where the person can e!pect areply$

%f you#re not interested inwhat the person has to offer at

all" don#t lead him6her on$ =semethods >8" >: or >7 which

are definitive$

,. -his doesnt meet m+needs now but Ill be sure to*eep +ou in mind.

%f someone is pitching a

deal6opportunity which isn#twhat you are loo(ing for" let

him6her (now straight*out thatit doesn#t meet your needs$

therwise" the discussion candrag on longer than it should$

%t helps as the person (nowit#s nothing wrong aout what

he6she is offering" ut that youare loo(ing for something

else$ At the same time" ysaying you#ll (eep him6her in

mind" it signals you are opento future opportunities$

. Im not the best personto help on this. Wh+ dont+ou tr+ #$

%f you are eing as(ed for help

in something which you -i.can#t contriute much to -ii.don#t have resources to help"let it e (nown they are

loo(ing at the wrong person$%f possile" refer them to a

lead they can follow*up on Bwhether it#s someone you

(now" someone who might(now someone else" or even a

department$ % always ma(e it apoint to offer an alternate

contact so the person doesn#tend up in a dead end$ This

way you help steer the person

in the right place$

/. No& I cant.

The simplest and most direct

way to say no$ We uild uptoo many arriers in our mind


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to saying no$ As % sharedearlier in this article" these

arriers are self*created andthey are not true at all$ Don#t

thin( so much aout saying noand 5ust say it outright$ 3ou#ll

e surprised when thereception isn#t half as ad as

what you imagined it to e$

Cearn to say no to re'ueststhat don#t meet your needs"

and once you do that you#llfind how easy it actually is$

3ou#ll get more time foryourself" your wor( and things

that are most important to you$% (now % do and %#m happy %

started doing that$

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7 Simple Ways to Say