8 Ways Filipino Politicians Justify Corruption

7/30/2019 8 Ways Filipino Politicians Justify Corruption

1/7

8 Ways Filipino Politicians Justify Corruption

The other day, a screenwriter friend from Vancouver chatted me up on Facebook and told me, Wincy, Im

writing this screenplay. Its partly inspired byBreaking Badso I have an anti-hero as my main character.

Hes a corrupt politician. Im just stumped on how to write a character like him. What goes inside his

head?

His words gave me pause. They suddenly made me think about an age-old question Filipinos often ask in

water-cooler conversations.

How in the world do our politicians steal so much money from our nations coffers and still sleep like a

newborn at night?

How indeed does the other half live?

I thought about it: in the nebulous universe we live in, no matter how much sense of right and wrong world

religions enforce upon us, in the end, were neither saint nor sinnerwere all just animals with complex

wants and needs. Were human beings.

I thought some more: Everybody is the star of his own movie, no matter if youre the next in line for Mother

Theresa or the second coming of Scarface.

Everybody has his excuse.

Read on, Dear Reader, and listen to theirs.

(A caveat: This list does not advocate corruption. My purpose is to simply get inside the heads of these

people. I leave the judgment on your lap, Dear Reader.)

8 Ways Filipino Politicians Justify Corruption


2/7

8. Im recouping my expenses from my campaign.

Winning my seat in office was no miracle from thesky. It cost me an arm and a leg and probably a couple

of torsos too.

Politics is a business. I need to recoup my expenses

from all the TV spots and the t-shirts and the gift

packs I gave away during the elections. Not to

mention, those overpriced advertising agency rates.

As long as I do a good job as a leader, breaking even on my expenses should be forgivable.

7. Everybodys doing it naman e.

Its okay to steal because everyone in office is doing it anyway. Unless your middle name is naivet,

corruption is more the rule than the exception in this armpit of a nation called the Philippines.

Its the way things are: I do my job and quietly play the game.

Hey, if you go against the tide, and be all Jerry MacGuire with your messianic complex, someone from the

penthouse office will threaten you and your family with a gun.

8. Im recouping my expenses from my campaign.

7. Everybodys doing it naman e.


3/7

6.

Think of me as Robin Hood.


4/7

What those sunburnt activists call corruption, I call: stealing from the rich and giving back to the poor.

Hey, its not too different from Robin Hoods MO.

Face it, the Philippine Constitution is the worlds biggest joke bookit was written for the rich by the rich.

The poor were designed to be poor since the beginning, so the pigs in the upper echelons can continue to

enjoy theirMTV Cribs lifestyles.

Budget allocation is a bigger joke. Money always ends up in the pockets of those greedy, pot-bellied sons-of-

bitches we call congressmen, instead of the starving maralita.

Id rather stick to my vigilante tactics to make sure that the money goes directly to the poor.

6. Think of me as Robin Hood.


5/7

Now as for the money I get to keep for my own family, just consider that as a reward to myself for doing

good things, good things not even the likes of Richard Branson can accomplish.

5. Leaders cannot be respected if they dont look powerful.

Do you think foreign investors would talk to me if I rode an Owner-type jeep to our meetings? Would they

even look at me in the eye if I wore Chinese knock-offs of Salvatore Ferragamo you can buy in Greenhills?

Leaders are kings, and they should live like kings too. Only will the people believe you if you look like one.

4.

Laws can be too constricting. Let me serve my nation using my own diskarte.

Hey, as long as everybody is happy in the end, right?

Who cares if I stole money from the people? Im not a

perfect leader, but I still did a kickass job.

In the Philippines, theres just too much bureaucracy,

too little results.

And a lot of waiting.

5. Leaders cannot be respected if they dont look powerful.

4. Laws can be too constricting. Let me serve my nation using my own diskarte.


6/7

Id rather get that money myself and implement my own plans quickly.

3. Ive sacrificed so much to lead, why cant I get some perks?

Being in office is a thankless job. The hours are long and stressful. I barely get my forty winks. I rarely see

my family. I cant even play golf on the weekends.

And what do I get in return? A meme on Facebook, making fun of my paunch, my receding hairline, my

less-than-firm grasp of English grammar, or whatever new insult people can think of.

Is it too bad that I reward myself from time to time?

2. At least, Im doing a better job than my

predecessor.

You dare compare me to the chimpanzee that ran this nation before me? Im certainly doing a better than

job than him or her.

Fine, the guy before me stole a lot of money, but I assure you, what Im stealing doesnt even make a dent to

the budget.

3. Ive sacrificed so much to lead, why cant I get some perks?

2. At least, Im doing a better job than my predecessor.


7/7

What Im doing is a petty crime, compared to my predecessor. Im the lesser evil. Cut me some slack.

1. Im doing this for my family.

Family always comes first before the nation.

Everyone who is not my family are just numbers on a pie chart. They might as well be crash test dummies.

You may call me a horrible statesman, but ask my children and they will tell you I am the Worlds Greatest

Dad. My children eat in the best restaurants, go on vacations around Europe, and get to have their masters

degrees in the best universities abroad.

And oh by the way, with the meager salary of a politician, how do you expect me to be a good provider?

The Philippines be damned. As long as my wife gets her jewelry and my kids are fat and have the latest PS3

games, I can die happy.

1. Im doing this for my family.

Documents

8 Ways Filipino Politicians Justify Corruption