A Scaffolding Literacy Package for Teachers

Student’s name: Thomas Alexander

Tutor’s signature: _________________________________________

Assessment criteria

Weight-

ing

Not evident

Less than satisfactory

Satisfactory Competent Very Competent

Outstand-

ing

A graphic overview

- effectively communicates

4/70 0 1 2 2.5 3 4

Text selection

- perceptive selection of language features worth teaching, followed through in the sequence

6/70 0 1 3 4 5 6

Contextual understanding

- thorough identification of possible cultural gaps, and thoughtful and creative strategies for closing gaps

5/70 0 1 2.5 3 4 5

Text orientation

- accurately reflects the teaching principles of SL for text orientations, including app. outcomes

- clear links to original language outcomes for the sequence

8/70 0 1-3 4 5.5 6.5 8

Language 8/70 0 1-3 4 5.5 6.5 8

Overall Grade

orientation

- accurately reflects the teaching principles of SL for LO, including app. outcomes

- clear links to original language outcomes for the sequence

- accurate talk about language

Transformations

- accurately reflects the teaching principles of SL for transformations, including app. outcomes

- identifies the relevant teaching moments for the excerpt with links to the original outcomes for the sequence

- accurate talk about language

8/70 0 1-3 4 5.5 6.5 8

Word study

-words selected allow for useful teaching about English spelling

- teaching about words is accurate

- Interesting and varied teaching about words

8/70 0 1-3 4 5.5 6.5 8

Patterned writing

- accurately reflects the teaching principles of SL, including app. outcomes

- the pattern created is effective and likely

8/70 0 1-3 4 5.5 6.5 8

to support writers

Assessment

- Each lesson contained appropriate and effective assessment strategies

5/70 0 1 2.5 3 4 5

Creativity

Lessons in the sequence stayed true to the theoretical principles but offered new, varied or creative innovations, which add value to the sequence

6/70 0 1 3 4 5 6

Presentation

- quality and clarity

- clear language use, no errors in grammar or spelling

- efficacy of sharing with colleagues

4/70 0 1 2 2.5 3 4

Marking guide:

High Distinction = 60 + Distinction = 53 + Credit = 45 + Pass = 35 + Fail = 0 - 35

Additional comments:

Scaffolding Literacy in Education Overview

1. Acknowledging prior learning and

experiences

2. Building field or contextual knowledge

Examples:

- Australia Day

- Australian vernacular/slang

- Rugby League

3. Text Orientation for the book:

‘The Story of Tom Brennan’

4. Teacher reads the book, chapter or excerpt

Teacher select an excerpt from the 'TO' to continue the sequence

I hurtled down the hills and through the bushes, the overgrown branches scratching my arms. My legs charged out in front of me like they had a mind of their own. Faster, faster, faster, they ran, in time with my head.

Ducking and weaving through the trees was like trying to find the gap to break through and score. I could almost feel the ball in my hands and hear Daniel running up alongside me, calling for it.

5. Language Orientation

6. Learners read the LO selection

independently

7. Focus on language choices

Repetition, similes, personal pronouns, prepositions, adverbial phrases, use of first person, visual imagery, compound words and use of tense

8. Transformations

Ducking and weaving through the trees was like trying to find the gap to break through and score. I could almost feel the ball in my hands and hear Daniel running up alongside me, calling for it.

9. Word study

Ducking, Weaving, Through and Daniel

10. Jointly constructed writing- included patterned

writing

11. Independent writing

Assessment of literacy learning

outcomes

Teacher decides intended literacy

learning outcomes Selects text: The Story of

Tom Brennan

The Teaching

A diagrammatic overview of the Scaffolding Literacy

teaching sequence

Text Selection - ‘The Story of Tom Brennan’

The book under study is ‘The Story of Tom Brennan’. This book has many worthwhile outcomes and as a

practising P.E teacher I decided to address some P.E specific teaching points. These which are also

appropriate within the English learning area include:

- Analyses risk take behaving behaviours and its effect on the individual and others

- Develops strategies to promote health and safe behaviours

- Evaluates strategies to support one self and others

- Understands and evaluates contributing factors to positive relationships

- Reflects on their own ability to respond to set backs

English specific outcomes which this text addresses in alignment with the following lesson plans include:

Very strong character development, giving insight into each character and their own story. Analyse

two of the main characters and discuss their relationship with the other characters in the book.

(Addressed in the text orientation)

An effective use of setting in two regional Australian Towns. Analyse and discuss the impact of

which the setting had on the story. (Addressed in building cultural and contextual understanding)

Use of flashbacks to enhance the reader’s experience. Evaluate and explain the use of flashbacks and

its effect on the reader. Analyse the author’s choice in using flashbacks to tell the story. (Addressed

in the language orientation)

Use of varied literary techniques in developing the story and as a result enhancing the reader’s

experience. Identify examples of literary techniques and evaluate the author’s implementation of

those techniques to develop the story. (addressed in language orientation, transformation and

patterned writing)

Building Cultural and Contextual Understanding

The ‘Story of Tom Brennan’ has strong link to the game of rugby league all the way throughout the text and

is sometimes what holds all the stories together. Rugby league is a popular Australian sport which like the

Brennan family is an important part of their lives. It symbolises the following two understandings within the

book:

The reputation given to the Brennan brothers (Tom and Daniel) because of their talent on the football

field and

The friendships Tom makes with his new teammates in Coghill as a result of his football ability.

The following teaching strategies could be used in building the cultural and contextual understanding for

those students who may not be familiar with the game of rugby league;

Watch part of a rugby league game on the internet or maybe even a local school game if possible.

Discuss as a whole class the different positions, rules, skills and purpose of the game. Find vision or

role play when it would be appropriate to use terms such as ‘couldn’t catch a cold and ‘had a blinder.

Play a non contact version of rugby league (touch) in the playground at school, while learning about

the game and its positions, for example halfback and winger. This would be similar to the game of

touch that Tom plays in the park on Australia Day. Playing a real game of touch will help build

students understanding by making the important connection between theory and practise.

The author J.C Burke wrote this novel within the context of two smaller scaled Australian towns (Mumbilli

and Coghill). This ‘small town’ setting has meant that there is a strong presence of Australian vernacular

(slang) as well as references to Australia’s rich culture and history. Some examples of these include;;

- Australia Day lunch at Grandma’s - Stickybeak

- Barbie - Statesman

- Bathurst 1000 jacket - The Footy Show

- Rugby league - Goss

- Had a blinder - Pressies

- Listening to the Adelaide test match - Kerry O’Keefe’s classic laugh

- Father Ginger - Old man

- Automatic pilot

Australia Day is central to setting of the first chapter as will be explored through the text orientation. This

day and what it means can be difficult for an EALD (English as an Additional Language or Dialect) student

to grasp. The opportunity to explore this special day and what it entails will include the discussion and

exploration of the following:

The history and origin of Australia Day – Celebrated every year on the 26th of January, marking the arrival

of the first fleet reaching Port Jackson in 1788 (show map of this).

Australia Day Traditions which include:

Used to celebrate this commemorative day and may include: having a barbie, playing cricket, having

a beer and wine (as practised by the Brennan family)

Dressing up in Australian colours and fly the Australian flag (show the flag and our national colours

of green and gold)

Be a part of Australian day celebrations, including community events and firework displays

Discuss and explore the use of slang which is quite prevalent throughout the ‘Story of Tom Brennan’.

Talking points may include that it’s an important part of Australian language and culture and is the reason

behind the use of such vernacular. Explore the use of slang and its meaning throughout the first chapter and

whole book, for example:

Barbie (purely shortened word for barbeque, one example of Australians shortening many of their

words)

Stickybeak (meaning having a look at something)

Goss (meaning news about someone or something)

Encourage students to work with each other in exploring the following interactive activities, especially in the

instance of an EALD student. This style peer learning within the classroom will develop their learning while

strengthening student relationships. Activities are below:

For those students who may find it very difficult to grasp and understand the meaning of the Australian

vernacular used, here are some strategies that will help;

The use of an Aussie slang translator on the internet. This resource can be used to type in a word or

phrase which a student would like to find out the meaning of. This would be an enjoyable exercise

for students to have a go at while developing their knowledge of the Australian vernacular, especially

from within the novel. The link is below:

http://www.koalanet.com.au/australian-slang.html

With assistance from the Aussie slang translator, students are to write and play out their own

conversations. The dialogue is to contain both Australian vernacular and references to the Australian

culture. Allow students the opportunity to perform their conversations in front of the class. Try to

include some examples used within the book.

While utilising the internet, students are to explore the Aussie Clue Cracker. This interactive

resource looks at all things Australian, including Australia Day. This fun and enjoyable resource not

only provides valuable information about the history and culture of Australia but also tests student’s

knowledge on what they may already know and what they will then learn from the Clue Cracker. The

link is below;

http://www.australiaday.org.au/resources//clue_cracker/default.html

Another important understanding which students will need to grasp prior to starting the text orientation is

that of the drink driving theme and the effects of which it has on families and communities. The car accident

caused by Daniel is because of his irresponsible decision to drink and drive. This is a major theme in the

book as it is the platform off which the story starts and explores its effects on so many lives throughout the

text.

A timely visit from the local police officer or even a victim of a drink driving accident would be very

powerful in getting the dangers and impact of which such reckless behaviour can have on innocent people.

Statistics and facts, especially in the younger age group would also be important for students to research.

Text Orientation ‘The Story of Tom Brennan’

Title:

‘The Story of Tom Brennan’

Learning outcome:

Students will understand the story.

Assessment:

Students are able demonstrate their understanding of the story through the following mediums:

Retell first chapter using puppets/masks

Write about a scene from the first chapter

Draw a picture of a scene from the first chapter

Create a role-play which depicts the scene where the Brennan family are having dinner at Grandma’s

Being able to explain the story line, including the main character’s roles with a focus obviously

being on Tom. Being able to verbalise the themes and messages of the book.

These assessment tasks must show the following:

- An understanding of the different character’s behaviour, demeanour and ability to deal with Daniel’s

accident

- An accurate portrayal of the mood and atmosphere in the first chapter of the book

- Depending on the medium, a similar or accurate use of the language used within the first chapter,

e.g. Australian slang.

- From the summary of the book, students are able to accurately explain the themes and messages of

the book and give an insight into Tom and a two other characters from the book.

First Chapter Orientation

The first chapter begins with the Brennan family, including the main character Tom, younger sister Kylie,

his Father Joe and Mum Theresa having dinner at Tom’s Grandmother’s house. However before they can

start eating, Grandma asks Tom to please say grace (prayer to God: Teach students the sign of the cross as

the start to grace). Tom unwillingly begins saying grace when Grandma suddenly interrupts him. Tom’s

Mum Tess doesn’t seem to be sitting at the table but rather is still in bed. The Brennan family weren’t only

visiting for dinner at Grandma’s house but were forced to move in and live with her and Uncle Brendan. The

decision to move from their home town in Mumbilli to Coghill was as a direct result of the hate received

after Tom’s older brother Daniel was the drink driver in a car crash. It has been 21 weeks since Daniel was

sentenced to jail and Tess as the Mother of the family seems to be dealing with reality the worst. This is

evident by her not eating at the table once since Daniel had been gone.

After Grandma yelling at Tess in her bedroom, she manages to shuffle her way and join the table, the same

one she had sat at for the first 22 years of her life. Tom now continued with grace and was merely repeating

the words which Grandma was mouthing before him. “Thank you for this special Australia Day”. (Discuss

the history and meaning of Australia day and how it’s typically celebrated). Tom wishes they could

celebrate Australia Day how they used to in their home town of Mumbilli. This was by having a Barbie

(Discuss use of slang), playing and listening to cricket with family and friends, including their cousin Fin

who as a result of the crash, now suffers from spinal injuries. Dad would be having a beer and mum having a

wine (Discuss the cricket and Kerry O’Keefe’s laugh by playing back some of his radio work). “And God

bless Daniel, And God forgive Daniel” was the finish to the prayer, with everyone struggling to get those

words out of their mouths. Daniel needed all the blessings and forgiveness he could get after all the pain and

suffering he has put everyone through including:

- His cousin Fin who now because of the car crash suffers from irreversible spinal injuries,

- Two of his friends being killed in the crash and

- The Brennan family being driven out of town by shame and hatred from the people in their home

town of Mumbilli.

The meal was being shared in ‘Grandma’s dark, stuffy dining room, with the gallery of saints watching over

them’ (Students use this description when drawing/retelling what this scene might look like/feel like). They

were meant to be eating roast pork but Tom described it as more like a ‘charred slab of cows shit’ (Find a

picture which closely represents Tom’s description). He likened himself to that lump of meat as his uncle

Brendan was carving it, suggesting that “you can stop feeling pain after a while. You just shut down and it

can’t get in.” Uncle Brendan has always lived out the back of Grandma’s, with Tom referring to the Coghill

township as a ‘dump’ and that he felt stuck there ( Show a picture of what a dump might look like and then

discuss what it might feel like being there). He was however better off than Daniel (Who was in jail) and

that was something that he thought about.

Staying within the context of meal time at Grandma Carmel’s and her religious ways, the Parish Priest

Father Vincent arrives; conveniently at dinner time suggests Tom. His probably having a ‘‘stickybeak’

(Explain to students what this word means – example of Australian vernacular) to see what people like us

look like.” As Theresa’s head hung low while being introduced to Father, Tom mentioned ‘it was like she

had done something wrong. Like we all had”. This feeling amongst the Brennan family was due purely to

the consequences of Daniel’s actions on that fatal night of the crash.

Father Vincent then started questioning Tom and Kylie with neither wanting to answer them. We find out

that Tom will be repeating year eleven due to interruptions while Kylie is going into year nine, both will be

starting school in Coghill. The next conversation point is rugby league, a passion and talent which Tom

shared with his brother Daniel and Cousin Fin in their home town and club of Mumbilli. With Dad (Joe)

previously coaching Mumbilli and now going to help coach Coghill, rugby league is a big part of the

Brennan family and maybe what offers a fresh start for them all. Father Vincent goes onto talk about the

Bennies (Coghill) rugby side, with big, strong forwards and a fast lad outside. Tom as Father Vincent

mentions is a half-back with speed and a good pass and could maybe teach the struggling Bennie boys a

thing or two (Talk about, discuss and play the game of rugby league/touch, including the positions involved

and skills required). The only thing was, Tom in this new complicated life which they all now face, didn’t

know whether he could, without Daniel, ever play the game he loves so much again.

Uncle Brendan invites Tom to play in the annual Australia day touch game in Coghill, giving a chance to

meet the Bennie’s players before school the next day (Australia day tradition). As Tom keeps peeling back

his nails, his dad Joe with hope in his eyes suggests the same thing. This crushes Tom and forces a reply of

“maybe”. Gran even suggests that the whole family, including Tess should go and watch the game in the

park. Tess however didn’t answer, rather shuffles to her bedroom with her food remaining untouched. Gran

sternly says that “We’re all hurting and it’s not helping anyone being like this”.

Gran continues to suggest that “we’re all in this together”. As dinner is coming to an end, Gran asks Father

Vincent to pray for them (the Brennan's) and also pray for the soul of Daniel. It was an abrupt end to

Australia day Dinner at Grandma’s, with everyone dealing differently with the pain and suffering caused by

Daniel’s life changing actions.

Whole Book Text Orientation

Now today students I’m going to give you a summary of ‘The Story of Tom Brennan’. The book is written

in first person from Tom’s perspective because notice the book is called ‘The Story of Tom Brennan’.

Although you can’t really see him, that’s Tom on the top left hand corner of the book cover. The fact that

this story is about Tom is interesting because the book starts with a car accident caused by Tom’s brother

Daniel. This crash which was to hurt so many people was caused due to Daniel’s irresponsible decision to

drink drive and speed when in control of his blue Falcon (show picture of blue Falcon).

This accident is what caused two of their friends to be killed and their cousin Fin to suffer from irreversible

spinal injuries (discuss spinal injuries and its repercussions). This drink driving theme is one which will

resonate with you and your fellow classmates as you are starting to receive your leaner licenses and even

starting to drink. The messages received from the author’s choice to write it from Tom’s perspective is very

powerful in showing just how many lives are impacted in so many different ways.

The vernacular used throughout the book is accurate of a 17 year old boy, capturing Tom’s raw emotions

and drawing attention to the reality of the situation. One example of this emotion which in the beginning

gets the best of Tom includes his struggle to accept Fin’s reality of not being able to use his limbs again:

‘One day Daniel’d be getting out of there, a free man. But Fin would never be free, and that was too

enormous to swallow’.

The setting in two Australian regional towns has meant that there is a strong presence of Australian

vernacular or slang all the way throughout the book. We are made aware of this strong link to Australia’s

history and culture as early as the first chapter as Australia Day is the context in which the story begins.

Australia Day for the Brennan family means:

Having a barbie,

Playing cricket in the backyard while

Listening to Kerry O’Keefe’s laugh and

Dad having a beer and Mum having a wine.

These two towns were also very passionate about their rugby league and for the Brennan family, is

something which may just keep them all together. Tom’s dad Joe was coach and Tom and his older brother

Daniel were the best two players of the St John’s Mumbilli team. Cousin Fin was also an important member

of the team. The party for which they were celebrating the ‘sudden death’ win would later that night hold all

the wrong meanings’. This strong link to rugby league as often being the lynchpin between the stories

presents another language challenge for students who may not otherwise be involved in rugby league.

Positions such as half-back, forwards, out wide (winger), skills such as a pass and speed, along with

connotations such as ‘couldn’t catch a cold’ and ‘had a blinder’ are all aspects of rugby league which need

to be explored (Cultural and Contextual Understandings).

An important language feature of this book is the author’s use of flashbacks to tell the story. J.C Burke does

this in order to ‘gradually link the dramatic events of the past with Tom’s present emotional state and as a

result creating drama and tension’ (Bloumis, 2008).

As a direct result of the hatred and shame felt from the people in their home town of Mumbilli, the Brennan

family are forced to live with their Grandma and Uncle Brendan in the township of Coghill. An example of

this hatred is these ugly black letters being sprayed against the wall Daniel and Tom used to play handball:

‘SHAME ON YOU, BRENNANS, SHAME’.

The Brennan family members at the heart of this story include:

Tom,

His older brother Daniel,

Younger sister Kylie,

Joe his Dad,

Tess his Mum,

Grandma Carmel,

Uncle Brendan,

Cousin Fin and

Aunty Kath

‘The Story of Tom Brennan’ is one which the author takes the reader on a journey during which Tom deals

with his initial guilt of possibly being able to prevent what happened on that fatal night. After all, it was the

night which the Mumbilli rugby team were supposed to be celebrating but rather are left reeling at the reality

caused by the actions of one of their mates and family members. ‘Tom must find a way to rebuild his life,

even when his Mum won’t get out bed, his Dad struggling to keep the family together, his brother in jail, his

cousin in hospital and his sister threatening to tell the people in Coghill about their awful past’ (Bloumis,

2008) .

Throughout the year, Tom is able to develop as a person and start to move on with his life. He develops a

positive relationship with his Grandma while starting a running program with his Uncle Brendan. However

Tom still imagines about what it used to feel like playing footy with his brother Daniel and is evident

through the following quote;

‘I could almost feel the ball in my hands and hear Daniel running alongside me, calling for it’. (Part of

excerpt)

He finally realises though that he can play without their unbeatable partnership. As Tom still cares for

Daniel, it’s important that he is no longer having any suicidal thoughts while in jail.

‘Ducking and weaving through the trees’ (part of excerpt), Tom cannot get to his girlfriend Chrissie quick

enough. They’re to make love together on the riverbank and it will be the morning which Tom Brennan

‘came back, forever’.

Language Orientation

Book title: ‘The Story of Tom Brennan’

Learning outcomes:

Students will understand what the excerpt means, including the meaning of words. Students will also

understand the organisation of the sentences.

Students will understand the meaning of the selected text.

Students will understand the vocabulary.

Students will have an introductory understanding of the broad syntactic structure of the sentences.

Assessment:

Students explain the excerpt in their own words. This will demonstrate that they’ve not only read the

excerpt but have comprehended what the author is actually saying.

Students retell the excerpt through a role play. This will be an effective assessment due to the

students needing to be active in their role-playing. The use of props and the specific actions need to

be key features of the role play.

Students retell story using pictures and drawings. This will allow the opportunity for students to

express their own individual understanding of the excerpt in a way that encourages their artistic flair.

It will require the inclusion of both Tom and Daniel and an accurate illustration of the environment

and its detail also being important.

Excerpt: I hurtled down the hills and through the bushes, the overgrown branches scratching my arms. My legs

charged out in front of me like they had a mind of their own. Faster, faster, faster, they ran, in time with my

head.

Ducking and weaving through the trees was like trying to find the gap to break through and score. I

could almost feel the ball in my hands and hear Daniel running up alongside me, calling for it.

Broad Language Focus: Using language to capture the imagination of the reader and allowing them to experience the journey from

the character’s perspective.

Specific Language Foci: Personal pronouns, use of first person, prepositions, adverbial phrases, repetition, similes, compound words,

use of tense and visual imagery.

Preparation Identification Elaboration The first nine words tell us where the character, in this case Tom, is and what his doing.

Following with your books, those words are ‘I hurtled down the hills and through the bushes’. Let’s highlight these nine words which tells us who and where. On your own, read these nine words again.

The letter 'I' is a personal pronoun used to inform the reader who the passage is concentrating on. The second word hurtled and seventh word through; tells us more about where Tom is and how he is travelling. The word through as used here is an example of a preposition which shows the position of Tom travelling in the bushes. ‘Hurtled’ means to race uncontrollably and ‘through’ means to move in the middle of something, in this case the bushes. Can you give me a situation where the word ‘through’ is used appropriately? Teacher’s example: I charged through the fire. The teacher could even find a hill which the students can ‘hurtle’ down and see what it feels like. Can possibly even run through the bushes if at all safe and achievable.

The next six words tell us more about the bushes where Tom is running.

Following with your books, those words are ‘The overgrown branches scratching my arms’. Let’s highlight these six words which tells us who and where. On your own, read these nine words again.

The second word, overgrown; tell us that the bushes are dense, allowing the reader to create a visual picture of the setting. Can you make a connection from something in your own garden being overgrown? An example could be the untouched lawn. The fourth word, Scratching; tells us what is happening to Tom while he is charging uncontrollably through the overgrown bushes. Can you relate to this experience? What does it feel like?

The second sentence gives us more information about just how fast Tom is travelling.

Following with your books, the second sentence is ‘My legs charged out in front of me like they had a mind of their own’. Let’s highlight this sentence which describes the uncontrolled pace at which Tom is running. On your own, read this sentence again.

The word ‘My’ informs the reader that the author is talking about Tom’s legs. Remember we talked about how the book is written in first person. The second word ‘legs’ is the subject of the sentence and is interesting because it almost seems like Tom’s legs aren’t apart of his body. This idea is developed by the author’s use of an adverbial phrase ‘like they had a mind of their own’. This adverbial phrase tells us how the legs charged. Charged is an effective verb which puts emphases on the almost uncontrolled pace at which Tom is moving. Notice that the end of the word ‘charged’ finishes in ‘ed’. This is a morpheme which informs the reader that it happened in past tense. This means that Tom is talking about what has already happened. Another example of this could be ‘the soldiers charged at their enemies’. For your homework I want you to find a hill to run down and experience how this might feel. Can you think of any other instances where this pace may be needed or used?

The next sentence is effective in the way that it allows the reader to feel like they’re running alongside Tom.

Following with your books, the next sentence is ‘Faster, faster, faster, they ran, in time with my head’. Let’s highlight this sentence which allows the reader to feel like they’re running alongside Tom. On your own, read this sentence again.

Repetition of the word faster emphasises the pace at which Tom is running at while influencing the reader’s first-hand experience of the circumstances being captured. The words, ‘they ran’;; supports the previous impression introduced by the author that Tom’s legs had a mind of their own. The author uses the phrase, ‘in time,’ very effectively to make clear to the reader that Tom cannot wait to get to the desired destination as his head moves as fast as his uncontrollable legs. ‘In time’ is a phrase which means ‘together’ or ‘simultaneously’, in something happening at the same point in time.

The first six words of the next paragraph tell us about the change in environment and therefore Tom’s need to adapt his travelling mode. The next twelve words is a simile used by the author to create greater meaning to the picture being painted in the reader’s mind.

Following with your books, the first six words of the second paragraph are ‘Ducking and weaving through the trees’. Let’s highlight these words which tell us more information about where Tom is and what his doing. Reading on with your books, the simile used to compare Tom’s movement through the trees ‘was like trying to find the gap to break through and score’. Let’s all highlight this simile.

The first and third word of this phrase tells us the change in Tom’s movement. Remember when we played that game of touch and you had to duck and weave through the defense. I want you to show what ducking and weaving looks like. The word ‘through’ tells us where Tom is while giving more information about how his travelling. ‘Through’ means to move in the middle of something, like I am moving through these desks. Students I want you to move through the chairs. The word tree’s tells us about the environment in which Tom is situated. Can you draw a picture of what the author has created in your mind? The first word ‘was’ sets the context of the sentence in past tense, as in Tom is talking about what has already happened. The second word ‘like’ is critical to the meaning of the sentence as it allows for the comparison between two things and as a result a simile is created. The phrase being compared with is a clever one due to the fact that it’s relevant to both the story and Tom’s real life context. Remember watching the vision of a rugby league player trying to score and then trying yourselves to get under and past your fellow opposition here at school. Let’s highlight the word ‘like’ which allows us to create a simile.

The next phrase develops the simile by putting into context the comparison of the rugby league scenario. The rest of the sentence introduces an important character and informs us what he is doing. It also tells us where ‘Daniel’, the introduced character is in comparison to Tom.

Reading on with your books, the next nine words are ‘I could almost feel the ball in my hands’. Let’s highlight these words which tell us that Tom is still the character involved. These words also tell us more about the context of the simile while also offering an insight into Tom’s imagination. Reading on with your books, the rest of the sentence and the end to the second paragraph of the excerpt is; ‘and hear Daniel running up alongside me, calling for it’. Let’s highlight these words which help the reader to create a visual picture of the author’s use of simile.

The two personal pronouns ‘I’ and ‘my’ again tell us that we are experiencing the story from Tom’s first person perspective. The word ‘almost’ is an interesting word because it tells us that Tom, like us, is using his imagination to picture and feel what is happening. Can you highlight the word ‘almost’ and then using first person; create a situation which is relevant to your life context. An example is ‘I was that hungry I could almost taste the ice-cream melting in my mouth. The reference to the ball (rugby) develops the context in which the simile was created. For it would be unnecessary to break through the gap and score if you haven’t got the ball in your hands. We understand this due to our previous work on the rules and purpose of rugby league don’t we? The second part of this sentence starts with a conjunction word, that being ‘and’ which then turns it in to a compound sentence. The fact that Tom can hear Daniel gives us the idea that Tom knows he is close to him. This is important for Tom to not be alone in attempting to score his ‘imaginary try’, rather has his older brother and former teammate Daniel ‘running’ ‘alongside’ him. The words ‘running’ and ‘calling’ are two verbs used to tell the reader what Daniel is doing. The inclusion of Daniel in this scenario is important because as Tom mentions; ‘Every memory I had, Daniel was etched into it’. The word ‘alongside’ is a compound word which means ‘next to’, for example;; ‘I am sitting alongside Jimmy’. It’s an important word in this sentence as it informs us of where Daniel is in comparison to Tom. This positioning can also be understood from the contextual knowledge of the rules of rugby league (offside rule) which we’ve already explored and discussed.

Transformations

Title:

‘The Story of Tom Brennan’

Learning outcomes:

Students will understand the structure of the sentences and the consequences of the author’s word choices.

Assessment:

Create a painting and/or drawing which represents a specific part of a sentence or the sentences as a

whole. Using the detail in their illustration, students will then evaluate and analyse the author’s word

choices.

Prior to revealing all of the teacher’s cuts and word takeaways, the students are challenged to use

their prior knowledge and deep thinking to identify specific cuts and the words which create meaning

of the sentence/s. They’re to then discuss and share within pairs and then as a whole class.

Students are given a fresh piece of paper which has written on it only the two sentences being used

for the transformation. Students, without looking at the teacher’s or their own previous work on

transformations, are asked to make their own cuts and explain why the cut is where it is. This will

focus student’s attention towards the author’s word choices and sentence structure.

Students are asked to complete a transformation on another piece of work, which requires the

exploration and analysis of an author’s word choices and sentence structure. Students may even like

to choose their sentence/s from the text already being studied.

Sentences being used for the lesson:

Ducking and weaving through the trees was like trying to find the gap to break through and score. I could

almost feel the ball in my hands and hear Daniel running up alongside me, calling for it.

Where your cuts will go What will you say to guide the students to make the cut

Cut 1. Ducking and weaving

Remember those first three words of the second paragraph. They told us how Tom was moving through the trees. Who can tell me what those words are? That’s great, now cut those words out that you have in front of you.

Cut 2. /through/ the trees

Now remember the next words which tell us where Tom is travelling. Who can tell me what those three words are. Well done, now cut them out using the scissors and words that you have in front of you.

Cut 3. /was like/ trying to find the gap to break through and score.

Remember the rest of this sentence. The author uses a simile to compare Tom’s movement through the trees with trying to score a try in rugby league. Who can tell me the rest of the sentence? Ok great, now cut those words out so you have three parts to the first sentence.

Cut 4. /I/ could almost feel the ball in /my/ hands

Now who can remember the first nine words of the next sentence? These words tell us that Tom is the character ducking and weaving through the trees. These words also add meaning to the simile and offer the reader an insight into Tom’s imagination. Who can read these words out to the class? Very good, now cut those out and place them in the appropriate position in front of you.

Cut 5. And hear /Daniel / Cut 6. running up /alongside/ /me/, calling for it.

What is the purpose of the next three words? Remaining within Tom’s imagination, we are introduced to another important character and are told what his doing. Who can tell me who the character is and how his connected to Tom. Fantastic. Cut those words out and add them onto the second sentence. Who knows what the rest of this sentence tells us? Let’s read them all together. These words tell us more about what Daniel is doing and where he is in comparison to Tom. It helps the reader to create a visual picture of the author’s use of simile.

Now go back into the sentence and look for meaningful cuts that teach something about the sentence and its meaning

What will you say to the students to help them understand intentionality and the consequences of the author’s choices

Was like

This part of the first sentence is critical as it allows the author to incorporate a simile. The use of the word ‘was’ is used by the author to recreate what has already happened in past-tense. The intention of the author’s use of a simile was to create greater meaning of Tom’s journey through the trees. The consequence of this was a clearer picture being indented into the reader’s mind.

‘I, ‘my’ and ‘me’

The letter ‘I’ and the words ‘my’ and ‘me’ are meaningful due to the fact that the reader understands and is able to experience first-hand the journey from within Tom’s perspective. As the book is written in first person, the author is consistent in allowing the reader to stay within this perspective.

Now consider what parts of the sentence you can remove to show the students the importance of each section of the sentence for the story – i.e. interrogate the INTENTIONS of the author

What will you say to the students to help them understand intentionality and the consequences of the author’s choices

Ducking and weaving

The use of these two verbs is very clever due to their relationship with the simile. This is due to these actions being applicable to the context of rugby league and trying to score a try. Notice that they both end the morpheme ‘ing’ which result in the actions becoming plural, meaning Tom did it more than once.

And hear Daniel running up alongside me, calling for it.

The inclusion of Daniel within this sentence is critical in understanding Tom’s mindset within this particular moment. The fact that he even thinks of Daniel while charging through the trees gives an insight that he still cares for and respects Daniel as his older brother. The memories of Daniel and himself playing football together are still strong and vivid. The word alongside, meaning ‘next to’ illustrates Daniel’s support for Tom.

Almost

The word ‘almost’ is important in that it tells the reader that what Tom is imagining isn’t actually happening. It’s an interesting word in that it implies that you are experiencing a memory, thought or feeling without ‘literally reliving it. The word is consistent with the meaning of the simile being created in past tense.

Word Study

Text: ‘The Story of Tom Brennan’

Word Outcome (what will the students learn) Assessment (how will you know they have learned it)

Ducking

Students will understand the etymology of ducking and its connection to the action of a duck. Student’s then are able to use their prior knowledge of this action with their understanding of trying to score a try in rugby league. This process will in turn enable students to comprehend the use of this word in the context for which it was intended.

Identify and explain other examples of animal traits used for sporting actions. This is an example which uses the action of a duck in order to score a try. Another example is an Australian Rules Football player using the action of a bird to ‘fly’ as in ‘jump’ for a mark.

Through

Students will understand the phonology of the word through. This understanding will include being able to grasp the concept of onset and rime. Students will be able to identify the onset and rime of the word ‘through’ while being able to apply the concept to other words. Students are able to understand the etymology of the word ‘through’ and depending on its use, the many different meanings that it may hold. Students also acknowledge the shortening of the word and its use in American society.

Using your knowledge of onset and rime, apply it to the following words: Fox, Cat, Spain and Snail. Identify as many examples of where the word through can be used to describe the path of someone or something. A couple of examples to get you started are: ‘The ball went through the hoop’ and ‘I ran through the trees’ (as a part of the excerpt used for the language orientation) What other words which we as a society have shortened for everyday use? A couple of examples include:

- Barbie (barbeque), Footy (football) and Arvo (afternoon) as all used within the text.

What are some examples which you probably use every day when text messaging your friends and family? Examples include: lol, wb and btw. How is this different from written language and how has it effected it?

Daniel

Students acknowledge and understand the etymology of the name ‘Daniel. They are able to make the link between the name Daniel and its religious connotations. Students are able to research the name Daniel and also their own name and by doing so identify both of their origins.

Students are able to research the name Daniel as well as their own name in order to find both of their etymologies or origins. They then use their research to develop a fact file sheet which contains the following: What are its links and connection to history? Identify 3-5 interesting facts or understandings about your name.

Weaving

Students are able to understand the etymology of the word ‘weaving’. Students identify that there are different meanings of this word and are able to relate this understanding to the context for which it was used in the ‘Story of Tom Brennan’ Students understand the morphology of the word ‘weaving’. They also understand that the adding of ‘ing’ changes the word ‘weave’ from singular to ‘weaving’ meaning plural. They also understand the orthography when transforming the word from ‘weave’ to weaving’ and that when adding ‘ing’ you must drop the ‘e’. Students are also aware of the exceptions to this rule and are able to apply it to different words.

We are going to complete an activity outside today but first we need to have a discussion about the importance of safety and following teacher instruction. Ok good. Your task is to use the environment and the available physical equipment to re-enact the scene which demonstrates you and your team ‘ducking’ and ‘weaving’. Your challenge is to identify other words where this spelling convention (drop the ‘e’ when adding ‘ing’) may or may not apply? Explain why. Examples to get you thinking include: Take – taking Advancing - Advancement Make – making True- truly Believe- believing By looking at these words can you match them to the rule which they apply too? We have explored the convention as a class when studying the word and now let’s see if you understood it. I’m here to assist you if you need it. Have a go.

Word Which of these are useful ways to study this word? Activity Ducking

Etymology This verb which tells us what is happening in the sentence and is derived from the noun word ‘Duck’. Duck in C.1300 meant to suddenly go under water. In English during the 1550’s duck was a sense of ‘quick stoop’. This meant ‘a plunge, dip’ and was used from the year 1843.

Identify and explain other examples of animal traits used for sporting actions. This is an example which uses the action of a duck in order to score a try. Another example is an Australian Rules Football player using the action of a bird to ‘fly’ as in ‘jump’ for a mark.

Through

Phonology The onset and rime of this word is thr (= onset) and ough(=rime) The onset is the first hard sounding you hear at the start a syllable Rime is the other part of the syllable The onset thr is an example of a trigraph, which means three consonants combining to make the one sound, in this case thr. The rime is interesting in this word because of the ough being able to make different sounds, depending on the origin of the word. A contrasting ough sound to that of through is enough. Etymology From PIE root* tere- ‘to crossover, pass through, overcome’. The word through was reformed to ‘thru’ in 1917 and is mainly American English. An example of where this spelling is used would be for the ‘Drive Thru’ of many fast food entities such as McDonald’s in the United States.

Identify as many examples of where the word through can be used to describe the path of someone or something. A couple of examples to get you started are:

- ‘The ball went through the hoop’

- ‘I ran through the trees’ (as a part of the excerpt used for the language orientation)

Can you think of any other words which we as a society have shortened for everyday use? A couple of examples as used within the text include:

- Barbie (barbeque) - Footy (football) - Arvo (afternoon)

What are some examples which you probably use every day when text messaging your friends and family? E.g. Lol, wb and btw. How is this different from written language and how has it effected it?

Daniel Weaving

Etymology Daniel was a Hebrew derived word meaning ‘God is my judge’. It relates to the name Dan, which means ‘he who judges’ and is one of Jacob’s Sons in the Old Testament. Etymology Weaving is derived from the word weave. This word is thought to of come from the Old English word ‘wean’ which means ‘form by interlacing yarn’. Another meaning from PIE *webh;; ‘to weave’ was to ‘move quickly. In the context of The Story of Tom Brennan, the word weaving was used as a verb meaning ‘twisting and turning’ as first used from the 1590’s.

Research your name and find its origins. What are its links and connection to history? Identify 3-5 interesting facts or understandings about your name. We are going to complete an activity outside today but first we need to have a discussion about the importance of safety and following teacher instruction. Ok good. Your task is to use the environment and the available physical equipment to re-enact the scene which demonstrates you and your team ‘ducking’ and ‘weaving’. Can you think of any other words where this spelling convention may or may not apply? Explain why. Examples to get you thinking include: Take – taking Advancing - Advancement Make – making True- truly Believe- believing By looking at these words can you match them to the rule which they apply too? We have already gone through this as a class and now let’s see if you understood it. I’m here to assist you if you need it. Have a go.

Morphology The meaningful part of this word is the ending in ‘ing’. This morpheme changes the meaning of the word ‘weave’ from singular to that of a plural. This tells us that the character ‘weaved’ more than once. This understanding will assist in the next stage where we learn about the spelling conventions or orthography involved when adding ‘ing’ to the end of words. Orthography Notice that the word weave ends in the letter ‘e’. In transforming the word weave into the plural ‘weaving’, you must drop the ‘e’ and add ‘ing’. This occurs because the ending ‘ing’ starts with a vowel, that being the letter ‘i’. The exception to this rule however is if the ending starts with a consonant such as ‘ment’ as in involvement, then the e must remain. If a vowel however is before the letter ‘e’, as in ‘argue’, then the e is to be dropped. The example is argument.

Patterned Writing

Title:

‘The Story of Tom Brennan’

Focus sentence/s:

I hurtled down the hills and through the bushes, the overgrown branches scratching my arms. My legs

charged out in front of me like they had a mind of their own. Faster, faster, faster, they ran, in time with my

head.

Ducking and weaving through the trees was like trying to find the gap to break through and score. I

could almost feel the ball in my hands and hear Daniel running up alongside me, calling for it.

Learning outcomes:

The students will learn how to apply the following language features and structures to their own writing. The

language features which my sequence focused upon include:

- Similes,

- Repetition,

- Prepositions

- Adverbial phrases

- Use of first-person,

- Personal pronouns,

- Use of past tense and

- Visual imagery.

Assessment:

Students are to write their own ‘excerpt’ using the writing plan only as a guide and not an exact framework. Students are able to successfully incorporate some of the language features which have been

explored throughout the Scaffolding sequence. The correct use of these features gives evidence for the

development of their individual writing which may well result in an ‘EPIC WIN’. Students are able to

incorporate relevant characters within their story while aiming to create a clear picture in the readers mind.

From the text What’s the language doing What the Student’s wrote I hurtled down the hills and through the bushes,

The first nine words tell us where this character, in this case Tom, is and what his doing.

I reluctantly tiptoed through the open door,

the overgrown branches scratching my arms.

The next six words tell us more about the bushes where Tom is running.

hesitant about who or what could be inside.

My legs charged out in front of me like they had a mind of their own.

The second sentence gives us more information about just how fast Tom is travelling.

My mind was racing a thousand miles a minute while my legs were trembling under me.

Faster, faster, faster, they ran, in time with my head.

The next sentence is effective in the way that it allows the reader to feel like they’re running alongside Tom.

Quick, quick, quick my mind demanded of its scared legs.

Ducking and weaving through the trees was like trying to find the gap to break through and score.

This sentence tells us about the change in environment (trees) and therefore Tom’s need to adapt his travelling mode (ducking and weaving). The sentence also contains a simile and is used by the author to create greater meaning to the picture being painted in the reader’s mind. It compares Tom’s movement through the trees with trying to score a try in rugby league.

Prying and probing through the hut was like opening up a letter you knew shouldn’t be opened.

I could almost feel the ball in my hands and hear Daniel running up alongside me, calling for it.

The language in this sentence allows the reader to stay within Tom’s perspective. It also introduces another important character (Daniel) and informs us what his doing and where he is in comparison to Tom.

I could almost let go of my breath until I made out the silhouette on the opposing wall.

Reference

Bloumis, J. (2008). The Story of Tom Brennan (J.C. Burke): Teaching Support Kit. 20 Alfred Street, Milsons Point New South Wales: Random House Australia.

Burke, J. (2005). The Story of Tom Brennan. 20 Alfred Street, Milsons Point New South Wales: Random House Australia.

Koala Net (1996 (updated April 19th 2011)). Australian Slang. Retrieved September 15th, 2013, from Koala Net lives in Australia: http://www.koalanet.com.au/australian-slang.html

McCormack, D. & Harper, D. (2001-2003). Retrieved October 2nd, 2013, from Online Etymology Dictionary: http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?allowed_in_frame=0&search=&searchmode=none

Net, K. (1996 (updated April 19th 2011)). Australian Slang. Retrieved September 15th, 2013, from Koala Net lives in Australia: http://www.koalanet.com.au/australian-slang.html

National Australia Day Limited (2013). Education and Games: Aussie Clue Cracker. Retrieved Septmeber 20th, 2013, from Australia Day: http://www.australiaday.org.au/education-and-games/aussie-clue-cracker/

Spelling Rules (PDF document) Accessed on 25th September 2013 from: http://www.csu.edu.au/__data/assets/pdf_file/0005/82769/fourspellingrulesandexceptions.pdf