Aaron Stockwell: Lay Leadership Development

8/3/2019 Aaron Stockwell: Lay Leadership Development

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Beyond the Nominating Committee:

The Minister and UU Lay Leadership Development

Aaron Stockwell

HDS 2990

Unitarian Universalist Polity and Practices

John Buehrens


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The Case for Lay Leadership:

Lay leaders are vital to Unitarian Universalist congregations in carrying out their mission in the

world. According to a Commission on Appraisal Report in 1981, the need for lay leaders has become

more and more necessary: Only about a third of [the 1000 societies in our denomination] can afford

full time professional leadership. Because of cost factors we can count on an ever greater percentage of

our groups not being served by a full time professional Some kind of leadership help needs to be

provided (sic) these groups who are without professional help.1 The Commissioners saw the need for

our summer leadership schools to switch from personal development programs to one of truly

providing competent lay leaders to serve our congregations, it seems, on a para-professional level, or

on a volunteer professional level. They also wanted our theological schools to add lay leadership

development and education to their programs. There was a recognition that this could create an

additional distinction: lay lay leaders, and professional lay leaders.

So there is the clearly the need for lay leaders in congregations, but why is leadership a need to

the members of those congregations? Partially, it helps to spread the good news of Unitarian

Universalism, Dan Hotchkiss and James Lemler write in their bookGovernance and Ministry, that a

congregation that invites people to participate in organizational life appeals to only a few, but a

congregation that invites people directly into spiritual growth and service appeals to many.2 This

inclusive nature then creates congregations which have in common...their strong belief that they have

something vitally important to offer other people.3 Perhaps it is all too obvious but, as Erik Walker

Wikstrom writes in Serving with Grace, involving members and friends in the work of the people and

the church, creates in laity a consumer mind set and begin to think of themselves instead as

shareholders, investors, co-owners in what happens in church.4 They become recommitted to the

1 . Commission on Appraisal.Lay Leadership. Boston: Unitarian Universalist Association. 1981. 1.

2. Hotchkiss, Dan; Lemler, James B. Governance and Ministry: Rethinking Board Leadership. Kindle Edition. Hernan, VA:The Alban Institute. 2009. Kindle Locations 95-96.

3. Ibid, Kindle Locations 444-445

4. Walker Wikstrom, Erik (2010-05-15). Serving with Grace: Lay Leadership as a Spiritual Practice. Kindle Edition.Boston: Skinner House Books, 2010. Kindle Location 93.


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congregation.

Though some of the books used for this paper are written from the realm of non-profit board

leadership, and from a bird's eye view it may seem like a church is a non-profit. But there are is a key

difference: They are not even typical non-profits because they are, first and foremost, communities.5

Wikstrom goes on to say that: Churches are not small businesses, no matter how much they resemble

them in some respects. And while it may be useful to think about them in these ways at times, it is

vitally important to remember that they are also not social service agencies, schools, or theaters. Our

congregations are spiritual communities.6

The role of the minister also further makes this difference even more apparent as Hotchkiss and

Lemler write: The religious mission of a congregation is important but does not distinguish it from

other nonprofits founded from religious motives. The most important special features of a congregation

have to do with the overlapping of constituencies and the special role of the clergy leader.7 Nowhere

else would you see: an executive director...counseling someone whose parent was on the board, or that

a major donor was also a staff member. In congregations, this kind of role conflict is the rule, not the

exception.8 In short: Nonprofit wisdom needs to be examined and adjusted to fit congregational

realities.9 No matter what there seem to be vacancies on committees, leaders getting burnt out, and

new leaders always need to be trained and identified.

Author's Note: In the next three section I look further at lay leadership in terms of identifying, training,

and the caring and support of lay leaders. I've include quotations from Clinton Lee Scott's ParishParables, as a way to frame each section, using Scott's homage to parables written in the style of the

King James' Bible.

Identifying Leaders:

And they spake unto him saying, Why dost thou continually disturb us with thy demands? Thou sayest,Do thus and so, the like of which we have not done heretofore. Behold, we desire to do only that which

pleaseth us, but thou sayest continually, Arise, and stir up thyselves, lest ye be a reproach to the

5 . Ibid, Kindle location 180.

6 Ibid, Kindle location 941-943.

7 Governance and Ministry, Kindle location 322-324.8 Ibid, Kindle location 325-327.



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memory of your fathers. Why dost thou not let us alone?10 Of Them That Would Be Let Alone, LIV.

If there are vacancies in key roles, it is easy to see that someone needs to be recruited to fill

those roles. What is a little bit more difficult to discerning who to ask to serve. There are two similar

processes that might happen, at the same or disparate times- a leadership need inventory, and a personal

inventory that members of the congregation may do. And both may use the same exact same process.

Before leaders are identified, the leadership needs also have to be identified. This is more than

creating a list of the openings. An inventory of what sort of person would enjoy serving on a particular

committee has to be created. A minister or a leadership development team should know what sort of

person they are looking for. Erik Walker Wikstrom presents a good method for members and friends of

congregations to discern the best places to get involved in a particular community, but it would also be

a good exercise for a nominating committee, leadership development committee, or a minister to do.

Wikstrom suggests first taking the list of committees in a particular church and then:

next to each one, note whether it seems to be a committee (i.e., coordinating and celebrating) or

a hands-on working group. For many of our congregations it is both. Note which one you think

it should be. Next to this, make a notation of the skill set, personality type, and/or leadership

style that you think is most needed for each. (Remember that many tasks call for more thanone.)11

This protocol helps members of a congregation in a way that they might never have thought about

before: Learning enough about yourself to decide which church tasks to take on and which to decline

may mean truly appreciating all your strengths and weaknesses for the first time.12 It may even be

beneficial to:

begin with an understanding of your personality typefor example, a Myers-Briggs typeyouwill have a framework in which to carry on this internal investigation....Sometimes this is a

major program of the leadership development team, offering leadership styles inventories

several times throughout the year as part of the congregations adult education programming.13

Another model for doing this, which Roy Phillips describes while discussing a congregational model

from instilling a sense that everyone has a ministry, involved a 14-hour total experience: people were

10. Scott, Clinton Lee.Parish Parables. Kindle Edition. Boston: Skinner House Books, 1946. Kindle locations 624-626.

11. Serving with Grace, Kindle Locations 350-35212 Ibid, Kindle Locations 74-75.

13 Ibid, Kindle locations 245-249.


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invited to move through a series of powerful exercises and activities designed to help them increase

awareness of their gifts (their unique combinations of talents and skills), their values (what touches

them, moves them, calls to them, disturbs them), and their preferred arenas of expressing these.14 Once

this discernment process is complete, it's time to do the asking.

Suburban, pastoral to program sized churches tend to have a leadership development

committee. Most of these committees have recently transformed and changed their name from

nominating committee. Wikstrom writes of this paradigm shift: The assumption is that, as members

develop into leaders, they will naturally find their places within the churchs structure and will do so

more organically, with less pressure on the front end and less burn out on the back end.15 One minister

described the old process of a nominating committee as having a list of open positions, the church

directory, and a telephone. The committee would call until all the positions were filled. Now, the task is

ongoing, rather than a once a year ordeal before the annual meeting. Jeanne Nieuwjaar describes this

shift: Ideally a Leadership Development Committee meets year round, helping to strengthen weak

committees, getting to know potential leaders, sharing their vision of a strong future for the

congregation, eliciting the visions and enthusiasms of others.16

This process is slightly different in a smaller congregation. One minister described this process

as being very behind the scenes. You have to explain to people what you're looking for. Which is

certainly echoed by Hotchkiss and Lemler: Small congregation: Formal structures and small

congregations usually do not mix. This is not to say, however, that the underlying concepts do not

apply.17

Recruitment for filling slots on committees could also happen during a committee fair, where

committees might set up booths around the fellowship hall with displays of what they are doing,

14 Phillips, Roy D.Letting Go. Herndon, VA: The Alban Institute, 1999. 23.


16 Nieuwjaar, Jeanne. Transforming Your Nominating Committee.Drive Time Essays.

Accessed Dec 1, 2011.

17 Governance and Ministry, Kindle location 379-380.


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suggested one minister. However, it is never effective, he cautioned, to make an open invitation saying:

We need people for this committee! So once they've agreed to serve, then what?

Training Leaders:

the Master of the Temple did ponder these things and maketh a new proverb whit is this: If thou

wouldst give good advice to the wood chopper, bring along thine ax.18 Of A New Proverb, IX.

Leader training and committee orientation are crucial to a new lay leader's success. However,

they are not necessarily the same thing. Don Skinner describes the experience of starting in a new role

on a committee or a board as: the experience of walking into a room where a conversation was in

progress. We were able to understand a little of what people were saying, but a lot of references went

over our head because we didn't have the benefit of what had gone on before.19 It's important to bring

a new committee member up to speed. Skinner relays the words of Lynda Bluestein, a former district

president: I've been there. You find yourself part of a stream that's already flowing, but it's not always

clear how you fit in. I've had people tell me it took them two years to catch onto what was going on.

Well, on most boards I've been on, that's too much time to waste.20 Skinner reports on how the

congregation in Bethesda, MD, Cedar Lane orients new members: First the board chair meets with the

new board members to answer question. Then, there is a retreat which builds fellowship and a

consensus of the direction of the board amongst the members. Thirdly, each member gets a 'board

book' with policies of previous boards, by-laws, and committee charters.21 Finally, Roger Fritts, then

the Senior Minister at Cedar Lane encourages them to go to district, and national trainings. Regional

programs could be added as well.

Bill Zelazny, the District Executive from the Ballou Channing District also reminds ministers

and leaders to give the most basic of orientations: give new board members a tour of the

18. Scott, Clinton Lee (1946-01-15). Parish Parables (Kindle Locations 192-193). Skinner House Books. Kindle Edition.19 Skinner, Don. Board Orientation.Drive Time Essays. Accessed on

November 30, 2011.20 Ibid.

21 Ibid.


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campus....Orient members on how to use the copier and how to request help from the clerical staff.22

The consensus among ministers was that it is a best if the minister does not do the training in

terms of new ideas and ways of seeing the world. There were many laments of ministers who said I

told them we should implement policy governance and they didn't buy it. But when they went to a

training, and heard someone that they paid money to hear, say implement policy governance, they came

back and told me: 'you know, we should use policy governance.' District and continental training

programs work well. And most congregations that have a leadership development committee, also a

line item in the budget for sending their leaders to such trainings.

However, minister of a small, rural (though in a city) church had a slightly different take on the

who does the training, and what is covered in the training. He described that balancing act that small

church ministers must do. On one hand, they may do more of the administrative tasks of a church, like

ensuring that the bulletin gets copied. But they have to remind leaders, especially members and friends

who come from more hierarchical traditions, that the minister is a leader, but is not in charge.

Due to this church's geographic location in the Massachusetts Bay / Clara Barton District, it's

quite a trip for any of the members of the congregation to go to district events. This minister spoke of

the one time a training was held closer to his congregation and a lot of people went, and loved it. They

had no idea there were more Unitarian Universalists than just each other, and even more so Unitarian

Universalists who were dealing with the same problems. This minister said that it was a problem in

these rural congregations to feel connected to the denomination. They are fair share congregations, but

they don't take advantage of the opportunities, or don't know of the opportunities. Most may send their

minister to General Assembly and they come back with stuff. But very few send members to General

Assembly.

This minister reports that Regional Association Sundays where seven or eight small rural/small

city churches gather for worship once a year, have proven effective in giving a sense of denominational

22 Ibid.


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identity, but also they've helped to develop leaders. The coffee hour afterwards has proven to be as

beneficial as the service itself. They realize that they aren't the only Unitarian Universalists in North

Central Massachusetts who are having challenges. Training happens with networking and the sharing

of best or worst practices.

And while some of the orientation of new board members may fall to the minister, some of it

also has to fall to the chairperson. Max De Pree writes that new members need to know the

institutional issues, its history and traditions, its past citizens and giants. New members must identify

with the institution's mission, values, and strategies. I believe the best way to work at this is to assign

each new member an experienced member as a mentor.23 This way, new board members learn about

the institutional culture.

This is an important topic, the history and tradition of an organization and this denominations.

Gail Tittle, Matt Tittle, and Gail Forsyth-Vail's curriculumHarvest the Power. In the second session of

this Tapestry of Faith curriculum participants deepen: [Their] sense of identity as Unitarian

Universalists by building knowledge and understanding of our Unitarian Universalist history and

heritage.24 Participants also learn about the differences between power and authority, leadership and

management (session 3), and introduces the concept of being the inheritors of a free faitha faith in

which we freely choose our beliefs, our values and in whom or what we trust. We decide how we will

act on our faith in our lives and work. This workshop explores a congregational leader's opportunities

and responsibilities to choose, in faith, their actions and their responses to situations.25 There is also a

focus on stress management techniques, family systems theory, visioning, conflict transformation, and

adaptive leadership.

23 De Pree, Max. Called to Serve: Creating and Nurturing the Effective Volunteer Board. Kindle Edition. Grand Rapids,

MI: Eerdmans. 2001. Kindle Locations 299-301.

24 Tittle, Matt, Gail Tittle, and Gail Forsyth-Vail. Session Two: Introduction.Harvest the Power.

. Accessed November 29,

2011.

25 --- Session Five: IntroductionHarvest the Power.. Accessed on November

29, 2011.


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And with all of this there needs to be a culture shift on what place committees have in our

congregations. Hotchkiss and Lemler admit:

I had taken it for granted that committees should make most of the decisions and also do mostof the work in a congregation. It had never occurred to me that people might want to make

decisions or do work, but not both. The result, I now saw, was to frustrate and repel many of the

volunteers who could accomplish the most, whether as workers or as decision makers.26

Like the minister of the small, rural congregation said, ministers have to do a certain amount of re-

educating as to what the place of the lay leader is: in those days, an invitation to serve on a

Presbyterian session, an Episcopal vestry, or the board of a synagogue was a social honor.27 And from

there should be a transformation from social honor, to sacred work. And many congregations are

making that shift successfully.

Supporting and Caring for Leaders

That which I do and speak pleaseth not the congregation; one complaineth of this and another of that,so that I know not how to be pleasing in the sight of men. Behold, I and the members of my household

giveth of the best within us, yet do them we serve cease not to complain....blessed art thou among men,

for thou stickest out thy neck that the Lord hath given unto thee.28 Of Sticking Out Necks, XXVI.

Leadership cannot simply be about the completion of the work of the people, it also has to be

about the people themselves. Sometimes, like everyone, they can experience burnout. They need to be

cared and supported in their endeavors, and lay leaders need to get something out of the experience

themselves. Wikstrom commands lay leaders to take advantage of opportunities for leadership to

teach you about yourself. After all, at some level, arent all spiritual practices pathways of self-

discovery? Lay leadership is no different.29 This re-imagining of leadership forces lay leaders to ask

themselves: how your work for the congregation might be transformed if you approached it primarily

as your spiritual practice, and secondarily as helping the church fulfill its mission.30 However, this re-

imagining which can deepen a lay leader's understanding, it also opens up opportunities for the

26 Governance and Ministry. Kindle location: 161-164.

27 Ibid, Kindle Locations 563-564.

28. Parish Parables, Kindle Locations 352-354, 355-356.29 Serving with Grace. Kindle location: 189-190

30 Ibid., Kindle location 150-151.


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following questions to be asked: Why was that task particularly attractive to me? Why was this other

thing so difficult? Why does this person always seem to rub me the wrong way? Why do I almost

always seem to agree with this other person?31

The minister's role is huge in the care and supporting of lay leaders. The minister of the small,

rural church noticed that The way that I characterize my interactions with the lay leaders changes,last

year I saw myself more as the coach. This year, I'm the cheerleader. One of the larger, suburban

church ministers said that he asks lay leaders: Is what you are doing bringing you joy? He noted that

he especially battled this with people of the Greatest Generation who did things out of a sense of

obligation and duty.

The other suburban church minister noted that burn out occurs when one of three realizations

occur: leaders are under appreciated, leaders take on too much, and the role was never a good match for

the leader. It's easier in larger congregation, where there is an abundance of personal resources.

However, in a smaller congregation it's harder. The minister of that small, rural congregation described

it as being a delicate dance: You have talented people who do the job well, but they've been doing that

job for ever. Instead of permanently pushing someone out of a leadership position, he suggested

having the chair of each committee rotate, and then have the person who facilitates each meeting rotate

as well. This way the stress is lessened.

There does come a time in everyone's service to a congregation when it's time to move on. Max

De Pree writes that Although in retrospect the signals are clear, at the time it is difficult to know when

a president or conductor should be preparing the organization for someone else to take over. If he (sic)

isn't taking the initiative, the board must step in. No one stays forever. Changes in leadership are

refreshing, not the end of the world. We simply face reality. Maybe it's simply time to retire.32 One

minister suggested that having succession plans is important, in their congregation the board president

gig is essentially a four year position: the first year they are a president-elect, they learn along side the

31 Ibid., Kindle location 241-243.

32 Called to Serve. Kindle Locations 437-439.


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current president. Then, they serve two years as President. They serve as a mentor to the current

president, as the past president.

As part of support and care for the lay leader, there also to be the expectation that they will be

their performance will be evaluated in some way. De Pree writes: Suggesting that a volunteer be

evaluated seems a little crass, and it probably is - unless we're serious about our mission, unless we

truly believe members want to grow and reach their potential and serve society, unless we take our

clients seriously, unless we respect our donors.33 In the setting of a church, the clients and the donors

will most likely be the same people.

Conclusion:

Serving as a lay leader in a congregation is something that can be transformative. While the

work of a congregation is important in doing the work itself, Hotchkiss and Lemler recommend that a

church also be viewed as a leadership classroom: Congregations can teach civic skills by governing

themselves well. I worry that our society is losing necessary skills for group decision making.34

Congregations are unique places being among the few remaining settings where people of different

ages, occupations, and political philosophies have a chance to mix and be in conversation. The

religious roof affords just enough in the way of commonality to make serious conversation possible,

but only a few congregations take advantage of this opportunity.35 Congregations are the tension

between religion and organization: Religion transforms people; no one touches holy ground and stays

the same.36 Organization, on the other hand, conserves. Institutions capture, schematize, and codify

persistent patterns of activity.37

The end result of the true work of the church is not only catalyst for change in our society, but it

also enlarges the hearts of the people doing the work. As De Pree asks us to do: Consider deeply and

33 Called to Serve. Kindle location 444-446.

34 Governance and Ministry. Kindle location 456-457.

35 Ibid.,Kindle location 464-468.36 Ibid., Kindle location 222-223

37 Ibid., Kindle location 226-227


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meticulously why it is that so many people are called to serve others as volunteers. Never forget that

non-profit work, like no other endeavor, engages our choice, our hearts, and our spirits. 38

May it be ever so.

Amen.

38 Called to Serve, Kindle location 516-517.

Documents

Aaron Stockwell: Lay Leadership Development