AIFC 430B

Apply Redemptive Truth in Counselling

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RESOURCES

CCFT Volume 4

Recommended reading:Dr Bruce Thompson“Walls of my Heart”

Elements of Competency(Learning outcomes)

Read from Handbook

DECEPTION Jeremiah 17: 9,10

SELF-DECEPTION- Being wrong when you think you’re right

DECEIVING OTHERS- Defence mechanisms

BEING DECEIVED

SATAN – The ultimate deceiver - A deceiver and liar from the beginning- Lies of the enemy - False prophets

DEFENCE MECHANISMS - Protects one from facing the pain of reality- They are unconscious. Search me O God…

EXAMPLES (Freud)

- Repression – of the problem- Denial – of the problem- Rationalization and Minimization- Displacement- Dissociation- Regression- Reaction formation

Denial

REJECTION Occurs when felt needs are not being met

BASIC HUMAN NEEDSSecurity – sense of being lovedSelf-worth – sense of being valuedSignificance – sense of meaning/purpose

Only God can fully meet these needs

Most seek to have them met by the creature rather than the Creator

When they are not met we build a wall of protection around us – deceiving ourselves

THE “DIVINE PLUMBLINE” MODELDr. Bruce Thompson

Modified version

Authority Figure

PEOPLE GOD

Self-hatred Love Acceptance

RejectionLove Deficit

Many are against themselves

Wall of protection

Constructed Self(false self,

lack of self-awareness)successreligiosity

masculinityfemininityniceness

etc.

I am setting a plumb line in the

midst of My peopleAmos 7:8

EZEKIEL 13:1-14

FALSE PROPHETSParents, teachers, peers, media, government, church, our own heart, Satan

THE WALLof untempered mortar (whitewash) - fragile

STORMSIll-health, death in family, divorce, addiction, crime, bankruptcy, loss of job, etc.How do we react to the storms (crises)?

HOW DID JESUS REACT TO REJECTION?

No one was more rejected than he was

He forgave them (Father forgive them…)

He kept on loving them

He did not seek revenge

CAUSES OF REJECTION- At conception, before birth, at birth

- Lack of bonding to mother- Adoption- Generational (eg. Australia)- Dysfunctional family (abuse, etc.)- School (teachers, peers)- Relationship breakdown- Marriage problems and divorce- Mid-life crisis- At work- At church

My wall of protection

Building blocks of rejection

To benefit from the teaching following you need to apply it by:

1. Ticking the blocks of rejection in your wall that have had a significant place in your life

2. Identifying the type of Christian you are

3. Writing down false comforts you have used to ease the pain of rejection

Ask the Lord for insightSearch me O God… (Psalm 139:23, 24)

Blocksof

rejectionand

rebellion

AF

Unbelief Pride

Sadness

Self-pityHostility

Competition

ShameGuilt

Self-hatred

Conceit

Rigid

ManipulationInferiority

Domination

▼

Failure

PassiveFear

Aggressive

Anger

Authority FigureHostility

E Sadness Conceit M Self-pity Sophistication O Self-hatred Mood swings T Depression Superiority Apathy Competition M Inferiority Domination I Insecurity Rigid, stubborn N Failure Manipulation D Guilt, Shame Unteachable S Discouragement Aggressive Resentment P Despair Criticism I Dying Control R Quenched Possessive IT

Rejection Rebellion(Unbelief) Plumbline (Pride)

Suicide Crucified Homicide

Fea

rA

nger

Passive

MANIPULATION

ACTIVE MANIPULATORWins by winning (upper dog)

PASSIVE MANIPULATOR Wins by losing (under dog)

COMPETITIVE MANIPULATORWins anyway (hot dog)

INDIFFERENT MANIPULATORWins by withdrawal (cold dog)

FOUR TYPES OF CHRISTIANS Authority Figure

Compliant Competitive Christian Christian

Passive Aggressive Rejection Rebellion

Can’t Do It Critical Christian Christian

King Saul

Passive manipulator

Please love me

Notice me Care for me Affirm me

Be nice to me

I’ll do anythingyou want

I’ll serve youI’ll be loyal I’ll help you

CompliantChristian

The Compliant Christian can be seductive

I’ll do anything you want!

Moses

I can’t do itI give up

I’m hopeess

I quit

I’m nogood

I’m afailure

I’m hope-less

Indifferent manipulator

Nobody loves me

No one caresfor me anymore

Can’t do itChristian

Jacob

I’ll show you

I know

I can do it better

Don’t beEmotional

Be strong

I’m perfect

See howwell Iperform

Praise me

Notice me

Tell othersabout me

You need me

Competitive manipulatorPerformance orientedOver-achieving

Compet-itive

Christian

Judas

Active manipulator

I’m unlovableand so are You

You’re hopeless

You’re wrong

See howperfect I am

I’m right

Listen to me

I have a word for you

CriticalChristian

PAIN – PLEASURE SWINGHow have you handled the pain of rejection?

FALSE COMFORTS- Food

- Alcohol and drugs - Sexual immorality (pornography, etc.)- Work as an escape- Other addictions- TV, books, music, computers, Internet, etc.

Four staff persons give a 2-3 minute testimony of the types of Christians

Then in groups of 4-6 each studentshares:1. Their blocks of rejection and rebellion2. The type of Christian that they predominantly identify with3. The false comforts they use to ease the pain of rejection

The Wall ofSalvation

Foundationand

reinforcing rods

Restorationand

reconciliation

BREAKING FREE FROM OUR PAST There can be no healing or growth unless we break free from our past

Many have real difficulty here due to a blockage (see Vol. 2:91-96)

We break free from the crippling past by openly and honestly facing past traumas, insecurities, guilt and resentment and dealing with them

The following sections on the restoration process show us how to do this

REDEMPTION

Central and essential in counselling

Everything for God depends upon it

Restoration to God’s image

Ultimate reality

REVELATION The means for change

TWO KEYS- Desperate for it- Obedience to it

REVELATION OF- Ourselves- Jesus Christ- Father God (see Vol.1)(and being healed and fathered by God into maturity

PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY

Blaming has to stop for healing

Father have eaten sour grapes…(Jer. 31:29)

Everyone shall die for their own sin

Our choices determine who we are

Accepting responsibility for our choices andbehaviour is essential for healing and growth

CONFESSION AND REPENTANCE Revelation leads to repentance (Is.6)

Not a morbid topic (Luke 15)

Essential in Christian counsellingCardinal sins of pride and unbelief

WHAT ASSISTS REPENTANCE?- Contemplation of the Cross- Knowing that our sin grieves God- Goodness of God- Knowing that sin destroys us- Reverence (fear) of the Lord

WORD STUDIESConfess = homologeo (say the same thing as)Repent = metanoia (change of mind)

= nacham (Heb. - sigh, sorryRenounce = apeipomen (disown, to give up)Humility = tapeinos (low lying in spirit, contrite)

Humility is being known for who I really am- Openness and brokenness- Repentance is not remorse- The tax collector- Continuing repentance- Fruits of repentance – restitution- Confess to one another (James 5:16)

SPIRITUAL WARFARE Essential and ongoing in counsellingWe need to focus on Jesus - the VictorSatan – a defeated foe

ENEMY’S TACTICSPride/unbelief, deception, imitation, division, apathy, occult, etc.

THE OCCULT – See list (Volume 4)

OUR WEAPONSEph.6, Rev.12, Lord’s name, Holy Spirit, etc.

DEMONS, CURSES, BONDAGES (breaking vows, soul ties, etc.)

“Deliverance” ministry? Not a specific ministry

Exorcism in history (OT, Jesus, Apostles, today)

There was a change after the Spirit cameNo reference to casting out spirits in any of the Epistles or John’s Gospel (last written)

Can a Christian be demon possessed? No!(evil spirits and the Holy Spirit cannot co-exist)

A Christian cannot come under a curse (Jesus bore the curse (Gal.3:13)

CONCLUSION- We need to major on Jesus and his victory, and getting people filled with the Spirit- Casting out has a very limited, if any, place- Breaking soul-ties has no place- Breaking bondages/inner vows - limited place- Nehemiah confessed his sins and the sins of his fathers (Neh.1:6)

Submitting to the Lordship of Christ, being filled with the Spirit, confession / repentance, renouncing, putting off the fallen nature (the flesh) and putting on Christ, has a major place

HURT OF INJUSTICE Major problem – injustice or perceived injustice causing unmerited suffering

- Why has this happened to me Lord?- Why does a loving God allow this to happen?

Anger and disappointment against God

Adversity is universal – part of fallen humanity- Accidents, natural disasters, sickness- Human inhumanity to humanity-greed, crime…

Three important truths- God is just in all of his ways

- Satan is unjust in all of his ways- People are unjust in many of their ways

The Cross is God’s provision (Isaiah 53)The Trinity all exercise comfort. What a friend…- Some find their identity in their wound! They curse it, rehearse it, nurse it …- My grace is sufficient (Paul’s thorn in the flesh)

COUNSELLING ISSUES- Non-judgmental acceptance and empathy- Wisdom to help with the difficult questions- God is in control - he is with us in it (Job)

FORGIVENESS TWO KEYS TO INNER HEALING- Understanding forgiveness- Understanding Christian identity

FOUR TYPES OF FORGIVENESS - Receiving it from God - Forgiveness in the Christian community - Seeking forgiveness from those I’ve hurt - Forgiving those who have hurt me

No Scriptural basis for: - Forgiving ourselves or forgiving GodForgiveness removes guilt and resentment

RESENTMENT AND BITTERNESS

Hurt anger resentment bitterness hatred murder

Resentment a common problem in Christians

SELF-DESTRUCTIVE- Blocks inner healing and growth

- Destroys relationships- Cause of many ailments and illnesses

WHY FORGIVE?

- Jesus said so- Because God has forgiven us- So God can forgive us (Matt.6:15)

- To release oneself and the other person- So we do not torment ourselves- It’s the main key to inner healing

FORGIVENESS IS NOT:- Forgetting

- Saying it doesn’t matter - Trusting- Condoning- Necessarily fraternizing

FORGIVENESS IS:- A divine command

- A process (Limbic Lag)- A heart matter- Giving up the role of God as judge- Goes to deeper and deeper levels

I’ve got good news for you Helen. I’ve forgivenyou for all those nasty, spiteful and disgusting

things you said to me last night

PROCESS OF FORGIVENESS1. Ask the Lord for help and insight2. Complete a Hurt List and Resentment List3. Do three things in a simple prayer:

- Choose to forgive - Confess unforgiveness, resentment, etc. - Hand hurt over to the Lord

4. Seek grace to work through the process5. Keep speaking out forgiveness6. Release them from saying I’m sorry7. Do not insist on them changing8. Act out forgiveness (Matt.5, Rom.12)9. Bless them and pray for their prosperity10. Overcome evil with good

HE

AR

T

HURT (TRAUMA) LIST Age Trauma

5 The first day at school was verypainful. I remember leaving mymother and crying most of the day

6 … 8 …

Ask God to show you if you have resentment against any person - and if so tick it on the listThen transfer the hurt to the left-hand column of the Resentment/Forgiveness List

RESENTMENT LIST Hurt Thoughts/feelings Forgiven

Dad called me I wanted to disappear and 3/5/09stupid in front die. I felt so humiliated. Iof 2 of my felt I was worthless. I was friends when I so angry with him for beingwas 9 so insensitive towards me

in front of my close friends.They were also embarrassed.I felt I couldn’t invite myfriends home again. My dadwas often insensitive like that

RESENTMENT LIST Hurt Thoughts/feelings ForgivenMy uncle trapped me in a corner on Christmas when I was 12 and rubbed me between the legs and kissed me on the lips

I felt so dirty and ashamed. I also felt guilty because I let him do it, and even liked it. I knew it was wrong but was unable to do anything about it. I couldn’t tell my mum. I’ve had problems with my sexuality ever since, and wonder whether I will ever become ‘normal.’ I feel everything to do with sex is unclean. In my marriage I find no satisfaction in having sex. I felt I could never trust my uncle or other older people again

3/5/09

IDENTITY IDENTITY CONFUSION (OR CRISIS)Insecurity, low self-esteem, lack of self-awareness, anger, addictions, gender confusion

PHILOSOPHICAL QUESTIONS- Where have I come from?

- Why am I here?- Where am I going?- What has value?- How do I know?

ORIGIN OF CHRISTIAN IDENTITY- In the beginning God…

- I AM

ENDING THE SEARCH FOR IDENTITYFinding the great I AM (God)First Commandment

I know who I am (Security)I belong to GodI know what I am (Self-worth)

I am good and acceptableI am redeemed

I know why I am (Significance)I have a destiny - I serve God now

and will live with him foreverI am who I am, because I AM said who I

am

THE SEVEN GREAT TRUTHS

I am created in God’s imageI am loved by God unconditionallyI am precious and pricelessI am a saintI am a prince/princessI am a child of GodI am an eternal son of God

SELF-ACCEPTANCE

- All have depravity and dignity- God planned us before birth- His plan is to conform us to Christ- He hasn’t finished with us yet- Inward beauty is greater than outward- We are all different and unique- Avoid odious comparisons- Accept the unchangeable

THE TEN UNCHANGEABLES

ParentsGenderBirth orderSiblingsPhysical featuresMental capacity and

temperamentRaceTime in historyAgeingDeath

RESPONDING TO DEFECTS

- Correct them if possible (within limits)

- Prayer of faith for incurable sickness

- Glory in unchangeable defects: Attach new meaning to themA motivation to build inward character

- Confess ungratefulness

- Thank God for the positives

SELF-AWARENESSWhen we feel rejected we erect a false self to hide the real me. We are incapable of breaking free from past hurts and are left in a state of confused identity, lack of self-acceptance and self-awareness

Self-awareness is the ability to recognize myself as an individual separate from the environment and other individuals

It means having an understanding of one's own knowledge, thoughts, strengths, weaknesses, emotions and behaviour and how they affect me and the world around me

When we have this we are able to make changes and build on our areas of weakness

MULTICULTURALISM AND CROSS-CULTURAL COUNSELLING

(Apply redemptive truth to other cultures)

World trend towards multiculturalismBible and redemption is for all cultures

Culture includes race, colour, family, age, socio-economic status, gender, feminism, sexual orientation, religion, mental health, chronic illness

Effective multicultural counsellors are aware of and can empathise with clients in each area

CULTURAL STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES

Every country has cultural strengths and weaknesses which affect the family, church and society

If we want successful and happy family life we must follow the culture of the Kingdom of God – biblical principles of family life

We must “break through” like David’s mighty men and destroy cultural bondages

Western culture - mainly guilt-based

Eastern culture, Africa, aborigine - mainly shame-based

ASIA

- Shame (politeness, confrontation! Yes, yes!)

- Extended family – matriarchy

- Eastern religions

- AL variations, openness, extended family,

etc.

AFRICA - Poverty, hopelessness, despair, shame, apathy- Disease – low life expectancy (grief)- Sexual immorality and addictions- Degradation of women and domestic violence- Child abuse pronounced- Witchcraft- Failure to apply truth to everyday life - Weak church – a mixture of the gospel and animism (emphasis on deliverance, etc.)- Unhealthy dependency on the West

Pictures help in developing

countries such as Africa

Domestic violence

Childhood sexual abuse

CULTURAL STRENGTHS – CHINA(AFFECTING THE FAMILY)

1. Strong community spirit

2. Friendliness and hospitality

3. Safe community

4. Severe drug laws

5. Respect for elders, etc.

6. Resourceful and hard working

7. Growing world economy

8. Christian presence (10% Christian?)

9. Resilience in crisis

10. Readiness to change and hunger for truth

11. Respect for authority

12. Women dress modestly

13. Absence of pornography (except Internet)

CULTUAL WEAKNESSES – CHINA(AFFECTING THE FAMILY)

1. One child policy – spoilt children, selfishness, weak in relating, excess males

2. Strong indigenous religion – Confucism, Buddhism

3. The church – need for discipleship, grace, fatherhood

4. Addictions (alcohol, drugs, tobacco, sex, work, money, gambling)

5. Stress-related illness from working long hours, high cancer

6. High pressure education

7. High family dysfunction– weak marriages/ fathers, divorce

8. Domestic violence and abuse

9. Sexual immorality, teenage promiscuity, abortion

10. Weak personal boundaries

11. Mother-in-law/daughter-in-law friction

12. Trafficking of girls and children

AUSTRALIAN CULTURE

STRENGTHS- Christian heritage- British heritage- Resourcefulness (pragmatism, innovation)- Personal loyalty (“mateship”)- Personal autonomy (independence)- Openness (honesty, frankness)- Friendliness- Generosity- Courage

CHRISTIAN HERITAGEGod’s hand in the settlement by Christian Europe - Magellan (Spain 1519) - Terra Australis - to convert the barbarians- De Quirros (Portugal 1606)

- Australia del espiritu santo- Tasman (Holland 1642) – a devout Christian- Cook (1770) and Phillip (England 1788)

Many early Christians left their mark:Richard Johnson, Marsden, Father TherryGovernors Macquarie, Hunter, Darling, GawlerSturt, Eyre, Leichardt, Lutheran Pilgrim FathersParkes, Downer, Deakin, etc.

WEAKNESSES

REJECTION IN THE AUSTRALIA NATION

Authority figure (England)

Fear/withdrawal HostilityInferiority SuperiorityApathy CompetitiveGuilt/same ResentmentDespair Criticism

Rejection Rebellion

Waltzing Matilda Ned Kelly

PAIN- PLEASURE SWINGMaterialism (sport, outdoor life)Addiction (sex, alcohol, gambling, drugs…)

THE FAMILY

- Third most isolated nuclear family in world

- Wife/mother (matriarchy)- Husband/father (unaffirmed and unaffirming, rejection, addiction, unemotional, misogyny)- Absent Father Syndrome (insecurity,

hostility, rebellion, depression, gender confusion)

- Marriage – divorce and abortion high

AUSTRALIAN ABORIGINE- Rejection, shame, low self-esteem - Addictions- Dependency on government support

Counselling issues:- Cultural awareness – similar to Asians- AL modification (like Asians)- Openness? etc.

Form groups of 5-6 so each in turn can share insights they received from the

teaching of latter part of this unit- especially forgiveness and identity