AngerManagement&ViolencePrevention:CourseFacilitationGuide

UnderstandingAnger

Overview:Tounderstandwhatangerisanddispelmyths.GroundRules:Thisclassisforyou!Youwillgetoutofitwhatyouputintoit.Youhavetherightto“pass”onanyactivity/groupdiscussionthatyoudonotfeelcomfortableparticipatingin.

1) Respect:Noverbalorphysicalabuse,nosexist,ageist,racistlanguageorbehaviorisacceptable.

2) Space:Peopleshouldhavetimeandspacetosaywhattheyneedto,thatmeansnointerrupting,shouting,andremainconsciousofhowlongyouhavebeenspeakingtoensurethateveryoneinthegroupgetstheopportunitytospeak.

3) Care:Personalandsensitivetopicsmaysurfaceinthisclass;besensitiveto

theneedsofothermembersofthegroup.Listenquietly,beencouragingandpositive,andtrytoframecriticalremarksconstructively.

4) Confidentiality:Thisspaceshouldbea“safespace.”Everythingsaidinthisclasswillstayinthisclass.

Arethereany“GroundRules”mentionedabovethattheclasswouldliketoadd?DiscussionTopic:

1) Brieflydiscussatimewhenyoubecameangryandifyouexperienceguiltandregretafterthemomentpassed.

HandoutPacket:UnderstandingAngerManagementandViolencePrevention

MythsofAnger

KeyAngerPayoffs

YourangerPayoffsWorksheet

AngerLog

WEEK1:UnderstandingAngerManagementandViolencePreventionHandout

AngerOverview:Formostpeople,chronicangercoversincrediblepain.Andwhileangeroftenfeelslikeareleaseatthemoment,itinevitablymakestheunderlyingpainworse.Ofthosepeoplewhosufferedthegreatestdamageinchildhood,mostwereharmedbyrepeatedexposuretoanger.Themajorityofchronicallyangrypeoplewerealsodamagedbyangeraschildren.Peoplestrugglingwithchronicangersufferlong‐termconsequencesinbothworkandpersonalrelationships.Theytendtofeelmorealone,moredisappointedbylife,andlessnourishedbytheirrelationships.Thegreatestpredictorofsatisfactioninmarriageishowpeoplelearntohandleconflictandanger.Angerisalearnedresponse,andtheangerresponsecanbeunlearnedwithcommitmentandeffort.MythsofAnger:Angerisabiochemicallydeterminedevent‐FALSE!!!Beliefthatangerisaresultofhormonalchangesofactivityinthelimbicsystem.Researchshowsthathormonesdonotbecometheangerhormone.Stimulationinthelimbicsystemdoesnotelicitaggressionunlessitislearned.AngerandAggressionareInstinctualtoMan‐FALSE!!!Humansareendowedwithabasicinstinctforaggression;however,itisscientificallyincorrecttostatethathumanslearnedwarfromanimalancestorsandthatviolentbehaviorsaregeneticallyprogrammedintoourhumannature.Itisalsosimplyincorrecttosaythathumanevolutionhasledtoviolenceasstatuswithinsocietyisachievedthroughcooperation!!FrustrationleadstoAggression‐FALSE!!!Frustrationcanonlyoccurwhenyouhaveanexpectationthatisnotfulfilled,disappointmentrequirescognitionsthatincludememoryandimagination.Apersonwhoisfrustratedwillnotactaggressivelyunlessthesettingisperceivedappropriate.Key“AngerPayoffs”:

‐AngerReducesStress:Manypeoplefindthattheyfeelrelaxedandasthoughalargeweighthasbeenliftedafterablow‐up.Theseeffectsarebriefastensionsoonreturnsandstudiesshowthatangercreatesmoreanger.Angerasameanstoreducestressoftenonlyincreasesoccurrenceandstrengthofoutburstsandmakesthemhardertocontrol.

‐AngerHidesEmotionalPain:Angerisoftenusedasadefenseagainstfear,lossguiltshameandfeelingsofrejectionorfailure.Onceagaintheshort‐termpayoffhaslong‐termconsequences.Usingangertodefendagainstfeelingsmakesthosefeelingsgetworseovertimeandangerresponsesbecomehabitualandhardertocontrol.‐AngerGetsyourAttention:Angerdoesgetpeople’sattention.Yetagain,theimmediatepayoffshavelong‐termconsequences.Mostpeopledonotrespondtoangerwithattentivelistening,theygetimmediatelydefensiveandtuneyouout.Theystartavoidingyouortheybegintoresentyouandholditagainstyou.Also,overtimepeoplewhorespondedinitiallygethardenedovertimeandstopbeingalarmedbyyourangerandstartbeingdisgustedbyit.

‐Angerhelpsyouchangeothers:Peoplesometimesgiveyouwhatyouwantafterandangeroutburst;yet,inthelongruntheyturnoffandturnawayfromyou.Theyresentbeingcontrolledbyfear.Usingangertochangeothersleavesyoufeelhelpless.Youfeelpowerlesstoovercometheproblemyourselfandallyounowhowtodoistrytocoercetheotherpersonintocorrectiveaction.Byplacingresponsibilitytochangeapainfulsituationoutsideyourselfyouareleavingothersinchargeofyourpainandyourlife.

WhatareYourAngerPayoffs?Inthisexerciseidentifywhichangerpayoffsinfluenceyou.Foreachangerpayofflistedbelow,doamentalinventoryofrelationshipsandsituationsinyourlife(angerwithfamily,friends,kids,coworkers,boss,roadanger,angeragainstobjectsetc.)Seeifthatpayoffisinanywayinfluencingorreinforcingyouranger.Ifso,selectatypicalexampleandwriteitinthespaceprovided.1.ReduceStress‐Usingangertodischargestress:______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________2.HideEmotionalPain‐Usingangertodefendagainstshame,guilt,depression,etc.:______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________3.GetAttention‐Usingangersopeoplewilllistentoyou:______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________4.Punishmentandrevenge‐Usingangertomakepeoplefeelasmuchpainasyoudo______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

5.Changethebehaviorofothers–Usingangertocoercepeopletodowhatyouwant______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

AngerLog:TheAngerLogisatoolthatprovidesanopportunitytolearnmoreaboutthecomponentsofyourangerresponse.Thelogisdividedintosevencolumns.ThefirstcolumnislabeledPain/Stress;thereyourecordtheemotionalandphysicalpainthatexistedbeforeyouranger.Itmightbeaheadacheoranxietyaboutyourmarriageorpressuretogetajobdone.Trytoincludehereeverystressfulorpainfulexperiencethatmaybeinfluencingyourangerresponse.Inthenextcolumn,ProvocativeSituation,notetheupsettingeventthatprecededyouranger.ThethirdcolumnisTriggerThoughts,writedownwhatyouwerethinkingwhilegettingangry.ThefourthcolumnisAngerRatingherewriteanumberbetween0to100thatreflectshowangryyoufelt(0wouldbenoanger100isthehighestlevelofrageyoucanimagineexperiencing).ThefifthcolumnisBehavior,hererecordwhatyouactuallydidinresponsetoyouranger(didyoucurse,yell,hit,throw?).Thelasttwocolumnsareentitlesoutcome.Herenotetheeffectofyourangeronyourselfandothers.Ratetheimpactfrom‐10to+10intermsofhowyoufeltandwhathappenedtoyousubsequenttoyouranger.Writeabriefdescriptionoftheemotionalandobjectiveconsequencesofyouranger.Nextgothroughthesameprocessintermofhowyourangermayhaveimpactedothersandrateinonthesame‐10to+10scale.

AngerManagement&ViolencePrevention:

CourseFacilitationGuide

CostsofAnger

Overview:ToassessthecostsofyourangerGroundRules:Thisclassisforyou!Youwillgetoutofitwhatyouputintoit.Youhavetherightto“pass”onanyactivity/groupdiscussionthatyoudonotfeelcomfortableparticipatingin.

1) Respect:Noverbalorphysicalabuse,nosexist,ageist,racistlanguageorbehaviorisacceptable.

2) Space:Peopleshouldhavetimeandspacetosaywhattheyneedto,thatmeansnointerrupting,shouting,andremainconsciousofhowlongyouhavebeenspeakingtoensurethateveryoneinthegroupgetstheopportunitytospeak.

3) Care:Personalandsensitivetopicsmaysurfaceinthisclass;besensitiveto

theneedsofothermembersofthegroup.Listenquietly,beencouragingandpositive,andtrytoframecriticalremarksconstructively.

4) Confidentiality:Thisspaceshouldbea“safespace.”Everythingsaidinthisclasswillstayinthisclass.

Arethereany“GroundRules”mentionedabovethattheclasswouldliketoadd?

HandoutPacket:CostsofAnger

AngerOverview

CostsofAnger

Understandingthelinksthatmake‐uptheChainofAnger

ChainofAngerEvents:Normalvs.ProblemAnger

TheStressResponse

PersonalCostsofAngerWorksheetandshortdiscussionofresults

TheBodyScan

WEEK2:AngerManagementandViolencePreventionCostsofAngerHandout

AngerOverview:Thereisnothingwrongwithoccasional,moderateanger.Itcreatesnolastingharm.Butchronic,sustainedangercanbeaseriousproblem.Bykeelingthebodyinaconstantstateofemergency,chronicangercancontributetohypertension,heartdisease,digestivedisorders,rashes,headaches,andsusceptibilitytoinfectionsandincreasedmortalityfromallcauses.Angercantakeatollonrelationships,cancausedefensestoberaised,lossofyoursenseofwell‐being,andultimatelymayleadtoisolation.CostsofAnger:

‐ YourHealth:Chronicangercanincreaseriskforhealthproblems.Howoftenangerisexperiencedandhowitisexpressedduringperiodsofemotionaldistressaresignificantfactorsdeterminingtheimpactonone’shealth.Constantchronicanger,hostility,andaggressionraiseyourriskofdevelopingvariousdeadlyformsofheartdiseasebyasmuchasfivetimesthenormalrate.

‐ YourSelf‐Esteem:Althoughexpressionofangermayfeelgoodatthemoment,itoftenleadstofeelingsofguilt,shame,embarrassmentandremorse.Onemightrealizethathisorherresponsewasoverblown,misdirectedand/orunwarranted,theresult,inmostcases,isdamagetoone’sself‐esteem.

‐ YourRelationships:Veryfewthingscandamagearelationshipasmuchastheinabilitytomanageone’sanger.Frequentand/orintenseoutbursts,whetherverbalorphysicalcandestroymarriages,breakapartfamiliesandruinfriendships.

‐ Children:Theeffectonchildrenofwitnessingchronicand/orintenseangerinthehouseholdcanbedevastating,oftenmoresothantheimpactofparentaldivorce.

‐ TheWorkplace:Whatgetsaccomplishedintheworkplacecanbeseverelycompromisedbypoorlymanagedanger,frustration,andresentment.

PRINTANDINCLUDEANGERCHAIN!!!!AssessingtheCostofAngerforYou:Usingtheworksheetonthenextpage,makeanhonestassessmentofallthewaysinwhichangerhashadanegativeimpactonyourlife.PRINTPAGE13AND14!!!!!!!!

AngerManagement&ViolencePrevention:

CourseFacilitationGuide

AngerasAChoice,TakingResponsibility

GroundRules:Thisclassisforyou!Youwillgetoutofitwhatyouputintoit.Youhavetherightto“pass”onanyactivity/groupdiscussionthatyoudonotfeelcomfortableparticipatingin.

1) Respect:Noverbalorphysicalabuse,nosexist,ageist,racistlanguageorbehaviorisacceptable.

2) Space:Peopleshouldhavetimeandspacetosaywhattheyneedto,thatmeansnointerrupting,shouting,andremainconsciousofhowlongyouhavebeenspeakingtoensurethateveryoneinthegroupgetstheopportunitytospeak.

3) Care:Personalandsensitivetopicsmaysurfaceinthisclass;besensitiveto

theneedsofothermembersofthegroup.Listenquietly,beencouragingandpositive,andtrytoframecriticalremarksconstructively.

4) Confidentiality:Thisspaceshouldbea“safespace.”Everythingsaidinthisclasswillstayinthisclass.

Arethereany“GroundRules”mentionedabovethattheclasswouldliketoadd?HandoutPacket:AngerasaChoice

AngerOverview

StepsofAnger

FactorsinfluencingChoice

PersonalResponsibility

AssumptionsandInterpretations

TriggerThoughts

Exercise:DissectingyourTriggerThoughts

SixStepstoResponsibility

AlternativeStress‐ReductionStrategies:ExerciseandStress,

NutritionandStress’’

DiscussionItem(iftime):Whatisyourpositiveoutletforstressandhowdoyou/couldyouconstructivelyoutletfeelings?Ex.Painting/drawing,writing,spendingalonetime,working,etc.

WEEK3:AngerManagementandViolencePreventionAngerasaChoiceHandout

AngerOverview:Thefunctionofangeristostopstress(painfulaffect,painfulsensation,frustratedderive,andthreat).Therearemanywaystodischargethehighlevelsofstressotherthananger;somecanbehealthierandlessdestructive.Therearethreefactorsinfluencingthechoiceofanystressreductionstrategy;physiologicalpredisposition,instrumentalconditioning,andsociallearningStepsofAnger:

‐ Awarenessofstressleadstoacopingdecision:TriggerThought

‐ Focusoneitherblamingor“shouldhaves”:Divertresponsibility,blamesomeone/somethingforyouranger

FactorsinfluencingChoiceofAnger:‐PhysiologicalPredisposition:Bornwithasetofconstitutionaltendenciesthatmakesomeresponseseasier/morerewardingthanothers‐InstrumentalConditioning:Asachildcertainbehaviorswerereinforcedwhileotherswerediscouraged‐SocialLearning:Skillsandbehaviorsthatyouacquiredthroughmodeling(parents,siblings,peers)PersonalResponsibility:

1) Youareresponsiblefortheoutcomeofallinteractions

2) Ifonestrategydoesn’tworktomeetyourneedsorsolveaproblem,thereisabsolutelynopointinblaming

3) Theappropriatequestionisnot“who’sresponsibleformypain?”but“WhatcanIdoaboutit”

4) Youcantexpectotherpeopletochangeortobedifferent

5) Allrelationshipscomedowntotwobasicchoices,adaptorletgo

6) Youareneveravictim

TriggerThoughts:‐Perceptionthatyou’vebeenharmedandvictimized‐Beliefthattheprovokingpersonharmedyoudeliberately‐Thebeliefthattheprovokingpersonwaswrongandshouldhavebehaveddifferently“Trigger”eventscanbethingslikeatrafficjam,orthegarbagetruckbeepingintheearlymorning,orthewordspeoplesay,soundspeoplemake(sighing,groaning),armorhandgesture,voicetone,andfacialexpressions.Thesesituationsmaybe“dropsinthebucket”onsomedays,andonotherdaysmayigniteanger.Triggersarethosesituationsthat“push”ourbuttons.TriggerThoughtsarehowwePERCIEVE,INTERPRET,orGIVEMEANINGtosituations.Weevaluatethesituationwithourselvesinmindandassigncauseorblame,wefeelthatsomethingisunfairandthatothersarepurposelymakinglifemiserableforus.Examples:“It’sastupidwaytooperateacar,Ihavetoldyouahundredtimes‐youdon’tkeepridingthebrakesbecauseitwearsthemout.”Harm:Costofabrakejob;notbeinglistenedtoDoneDeliberately:ImplicationthatiftheprovokingpersonthoughtalittlemoreormadeareasonableeffortheorshecouldremembertousethebrakesproperlyWrong:ImpliesthatridingthebrakesIpoordrivingtechniqueandnotheedingappropriatewarningiseitherlazyorcareless.“HowcouldhetellthemaboutlosingmyjobbeforeIdid?Itslikehe’stryingtohumiliateme”Harm:HumiliatedDoneDeliberately:TheprovokingpersonchosetorevealconfidentialinformationWrong:Impliesthatit’swrongtoembarrasssomeone.

Exercise:DissectingyourTriggerThoughtsTaketwotriggerthoughtsforyouandidentifykeyelementsTriggerThought1:__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Harm(fear,harm,orpainthesituationincited):DoneDeliberately(interpretationofotherperson’sactions;blame):Wrong(Implication/message):TriggerThought2:__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Harm:DoneDeliberately:Wrong:

SixStepstoResponsibility:

1) Developmoreeffectivestrategiesforreinforcingothers2) Takecareoftheneedyourself3) Developnewsourcesofsupport,nourishment,andappreciation4) SetLimits5) NegotiateAssertively6) LetGo!!

AlternativeStress‐ReductionStrategies:TherearemanywaystodischargehighlevelsofstressbesidesangerCryingExercisingIntenseworkActivityHumorWritingRelaxationExercisesVerbalizingPainRecreationSexProblem‐SolvingCommunicationMusic

WEEK4:AngerManagement&ViolencePrevention:

CourseFacilitationGuide

CreatingCopingThoughts

GroundRules:Thisclassisforyou!Youwillgetoutofitwhatyouputintoit.Youhavetherightto“pass”onanyactivity/groupdiscussionthatyoudonotfeelcomfortableparticipatingin.

1) Respect:Noverbalorphysicalabuse,nosexist,ageist,racistlanguageorbehaviorisacceptable.

2) Space:Peopleshouldhavetimeandspacetosaywhattheyneedto,thatmeansnointerrupting,shouting,andremainconsciousofhowlongyouhavebeenspeakingtoensurethateveryoneinthegroupgetstheopportunitytospeak.

3) Care:Personalandsensitivetopicsmaysurfaceinthisclass;besensitiveto

theneedsofothermembersofthegroup.Listenquietly,beencouragingandpositive,andtrytoframecriticalremarksconstructively.

4) Confidentiality:Thisspaceshouldbea“safespace.”Everythingsaidinthisclasswillstayinthisclass.

Arethereany“GroundRules”mentionedabovethattheclasswouldliketoadd?HandoutPacket:CreatingCopingThoughts

AngerOverview

CopingThoughts

Exercise:CreatingaCopingPlan

WhenyouareJustTooAngry

TriggerThoughtsandCopingResponse

CreatingCopingThoughts‐Worksheet

WEEK4:AngerManagementandViolencePreventionCopingThoughtsHandout

AngerOverview:Thefunctionofangeristostopstress(painfulaffect,painfulsensation,frustratedderive,andthreat).Therearemanywaystodischargethehighlevelsofstressotherthananger;somecanbehealthierandlessdestructive.Therearethreefactorsinfluencingthechoiceofanystressreductionstrategy;physiologicalpredisposition,instrumentalconditioning,andsociallearning.Lastweekwelearnedabout“triggerthoughts.”(Triggersarethosesituationsthat“push”ourbuttons.TriggerThoughtsarehowwePERCIEVE,INTERPRET,orGIVEMEANINGtosituations.Weevaluatethesituationwithourselvesinmindandassigncauseorblame,wefeelthatsomethingisunfairandthatothersarepurposelymakinglifemiserableforus).ThisweekwewilllearnhowtocreateCopingthoughtstohelpcontrolanger.CopingThoughts:

‐ TakeadeepbreathandRelax

‐ Gettingupsetwonthelp

‐ JustaslongasIkeepmycoolImincontrol

‐ Easydoesit‐thereisnothingtobegainedingettingmad

‐ Imnotgoingtolethim/hergettome

‐ Icantchangehim/herwithanger;Illjustupsetmyself

‐ IcanfindawaytosaywhatIwanttowithoutanger

‐ Stayclam‐nosarcasm,noattacks

‐ Icanstaycalmandrelaxed

‐ Relaxandletgo.There’snoneedtogetmyknickersinatwist

‐ Nooneisright,nooneiswrong.Wejusthavedifferentneeds

‐ Staycool,makenojudgments

‐ Nomatterwhatissaid,IknowImagoodperson

‐ Illstayrational‐angerwontsolveanything

‐ Letthemlookallfoolishandupset.Icanstaycoolandcalm.His/heropinion

isn’timportantIwontbepushedintolosingmycool

‐ Bottomline,Imincontrol.Imoutofhereratherthansayordosomething

dumb.

‐ Takeatime‐out.Cooloff,thencomebackanddealwithit

‐ Somesituationsdon’thavegoodsolutions.Lookslikethisisoneofthem.No

usegettingallbentoutofshapeaboutit

‐ Breakitdown.Angeroftencomesfromlumpingthingstogether.

‐ Angermeansitstimetorelaxandcope

‐ Igotangry,butkeptthelidonsayingdumbthings,thatisprogress

‐ ItsjustaHassle,nothingmore,nothingless.Icancopewithhassles.

‐ Icanmanagethis,IminControl

‐ IcantexpectpeopletoactthewayIwantthemto

‐ Idon’thavetotakethissoseriously

Exercise:CreatingaCopingPlan:Planacopingresponseforoneanger‐provokingsituationthat’slikelytooccurinthenextweek.Startbyidentifyingthesituation,includingenoughdetailssoyou’reclearabouttheexactsetofcircumstancesthatyou’replanningfor.Thenidentifyoneormorecuestoremindyouofyourcopingthoughtsandplan.Under,“whentocope”writedownthebehavioralredflagsthattellyouit’stimetodealwithyouranger.Thiscouldbecriticizingorpointingyourfingerorlaughingsarcastically,theredflagshouldbespecific.Under“HowtoCope”writethespecificcopingthoughtsyouplantouseandanyactionsyouwanttotaketokeepyourangerfromescalating.

1) Situation:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2) CuestoCope:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

3) WhentoCope:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

4) HowtoCope:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

WhenyouareJustTooAngry:Attimescopingthoughtscanbedifficultinsituationsofprolongedanger.Trytoidentifyanddissectyourtriggerthoughtstostimulatecopingthoughts.TriggerThoughtsandCopingResponse:

‐ Magnifying/Catastrophizing:Thoughtssuchas“Thisistheendofmylife!!”or“Iwillnevergetanotherjobagain!”CopingResponse:Berealisticallynegative(itsdisappointingorfrustratingnotterribleorawful),Ask,“Howbadisitreally?”thenanswerhonestly.Useveryaccuratelanguage.Lookatthewholepicture.Trytofindevidencethattheoppositeisalsotrue.

‐ Overgeneralization:Thoughtssuchas“Youalwaysdothis!”CopingResponse:Avoidtermslike“always,”“all,”and“every”.Usespecificandaccuratedescriptions.Lookforexceptionstotherule.Recallhowpeoplesometimesactcontrarytotheirtendencies.

‐ Demanding/Commanding:Thoughtsthattrytocorrectorchangethebehaviorofanother.CopingResponse:Peoplerarelydowhattheyshoulddo,onlywhattheyneedorwanttodo.Staywithyourwants,desires,andpreferences‐not“shouldhave”thoughts.Think“Iprefer”not“Yououghtto.”

‐ Misattribution/SingleExplanation:Thoughtsofassumptionofmotivesof

behavior.CopingResponse:Checkoutyourassumptionsaboutotherpeople’smotives.Findalternativeexplanationsfortheproblembehavior

‐ Blaming:Thoughtsthattheprovokingpersonisatfault/wrongandistrying

tohurtyou.CopingResponse:Makeacopingplantosolvetheproblemyourself.Recognizethatpeoplearemostlydoingthebesttheycan‐whattheythinkwillbestmeettheirneeds.

AngerManagement&ViolencePrevention:

CourseFacilitationGuide

RelaxationSkillsGroundRules:Thisclassisforyou!Youwillgetoutofitwhatyouputintoit.Youhavetherightto“pass”onanyactivity/groupdiscussionthatyoudonotfeelcomfortableparticipatingin.

1) Respect:Noverbalorphysicalabuse,nosexist,ageist,racistlanguageorbehaviorisacceptable.

2) Space:Peopleshouldhavetimeandspacetosaywhattheyneedto,thatmeansnointerrupting,shouting,andremainconsciousofhowlongyouhavebeenspeakingtoensurethateveryoneinthegroupgetstheopportunitytospeak.

3) Care:Personalandsensitivetopicsmaysurfaceinthisclass;besensitiveto

theneedsofothermembersofthegroup.Listenquietly,beencouragingandpositive,andtrytoframecriticalremarksconstructively.

4) Confidentiality:Thisspaceshouldbea“safespace.”Everythingsaidinthisclasswillstayinthisclass.

Arethereany“GroundRules”mentionedabovethattheclasswouldliketoadd?HandoutPacket:RelaxationSkills

AngerOverview

RelaxationTraining:Readoutloudthescriptbelowwhiletheclassfollowsyourdirections

PersonalRelaxationScene,Worksheet

Discussion:Howdidthisexercisemakeyoufeel?Didyouhaveahardtimeimaginingapositiveoutcome?Wereyousurprisedbyhoweasyorharditwastoimaginethisscenario?

RelaxationLog,encouragetodorelaxationexerciseathomeand

Logtheexperience

**ReadOutLoudtotheGrouptheFollowingScriptinaCalm,Slow,SoftVoice**

‐ Getinacomfortableseatedposition,closeyoureyesandgiveyourbodyachancetorelax.Allowyourselftoexperienceacomfortablefeelingofheaviness.Now,startatthebottomand,stretchingyourlegsout,pointyourtoesawayfromyourbody,notingthetensioninyourankles.Nowpointyourtoestohead,creatingtensioninyourcalves.Letyourfeetfalltothefloor,takeadeepbreath,andrelax.

‐ Nowtightenyourbuttocks(remembertightbottom)andthenyourthightsbypressingdownonyourheelsashardasyoucan.Holdthetension(fiveseconds),thenletgo,takeadeepbreath,andrelax.

‐ Takeadeepbreath,fillingupyourlungscompletely,andflexyourchest

muscles.Nowtightenyourstomachmuscles,creating,ineffect,acoatofarmor.Hold,thenexhaleandrelax.

‐ Nowarchyourback,asthoughitwereabow(rememberbowandarrow).

Avoidstrainingandkeeptherestofyourbodyasrelaxedaspossible.Noticethetensionbeginningdownatyourtailboneandmovingallthewayupyourspinetoyourneck.Holdaslongaspossible,thenslumpforward,takeadeepbreath,andrelax.

‐ Bendyourelbowsandtenseyourforearmsandbiceps.Clenchyourfistsat

thesametime.Tensethesemusclesuntiltheyfeeltaut.Then,straightenoutyourarms,shakeoutyourhands,takeadeepbreath,andrelax.

‐ Nowhunchyourshouldersandpullyourheadinlikeaturtle.Pressyouchin

againstyourchest,tighteningyourthroat.Experiencethisuncomfortablesensation,thendropyourshouldersandallowyourheadtofallforward.Now,slowlyandcarefully,rollyourheadtothesideandbackofyourneck.Reversedirectionandrollyourheadtheotherway.Takeadeepbreath,andallowyourneckandshoulderstorelax.

‐ Continuetomoveyourattentionupwardstowardyourheadandface.First,makeafrownbywrinklingupyourforeheadastightlyasyoucan.Next,scrunchupyoureyes,flareyournostrils,andclenchyourjaw.Finally,compressyoulipsintoatightO.Pillyourlipstight.Holdit,tighterandtighter.Thenrelaxandletgo.Now,takeadeepbreath,relaxyourlipsandblowoutforcefullyslowly.

‐ Nowgobackmentallyovertheentireprocedure,andfeeltherelaxationinyourfeet,ankles,calves,backandchest.Asyouletgo,moreandmore,therelaxationdeepensinyourneck,shoulders,armsandhands.Godeeperanddeeperintobeingrelaxed.Finally,feeltherelaxationextendtoyourheadandface,yourjawhanginglooseandyourlipsslightlyparted.

‐ Now,imagineasituationthatthatwouldangeryouandimaginethetrigger

thoughtsthatitwouldproduce.(pause).Thenimagine,asyourbodyjustexperienced,allthattensionleavingyourbody.Imaginebeingincontrolandconfident.(pause).Imaginemanagingthesituationconstructively.Imaginethesituationreachingapositiveoutcome.(pause).Nowfocusonthispositiveoutcome,imaginebeingcontentandrelaxedandrealizingthatyouchangedthesituationforthebetter.(pause).Nowopenyoureyes.

WEEK5:AngerManagementandViolencePreventionRelaxationSkillsHandout

AngerOverview:Learningtorelaxisanessentialelementinachievingangermanagement.Angerisatwo‐stepprocess.First,physicaltensionorstresshastoexistinthebody,thenisrequiresanger‐triggeringthoughtstocompletethepicture.Halftheangerbattlecanbewonbysimplylearningtorelaxthephysicaltensionthatdevelopsinprovocativesituations.RelaxationTraining:

‐ Getinacomfortableseatedposition,closeyoureyesandgiveyourbodyachancetorelax.Allowyourselftoexperienceacomfortablefeelingofheaviness.Now,startatthebottomand,stretchingyourlegsout,pointyourtoesawayfromyourbody,notingthetensioninyourankles.Nowpointyourtoestohead,creatingtensioninyourcalves.Letyourfeetfalltothefloor,takeadeepbreath,andrelax.

‐ Nowtightenyourbuttocks(remembertightbottom)andthenyourthightsbypressingdownonyourheelsashardasyoucan.Holdthetension(fiveseconds),thenletgo,takeadeepbreath,andrelax.

‐ Takeadeepbreath,fillingupyourlungscompletely,andflexyourchest

muscles.Nowtightenyourstomachmuscles,creating,ineffect,acoatofarmor.Hold,thenexhaleandrelax.

‐ Nowarchyourback,asthoughitwereabow(rememberbowandarrow).

Avoidstrainingandkeeptherestofyourbodyasrelaxedaspossible.Noticethetensionbeginningdownatyourtailboneandmovingallthewayupyourspinetoyourneck.Holdaslongaspossible,thenslumpforward,takeadeepbreath,andrelax.

‐ Bendyourelbowsandtenseyourforearmsandbiceps.Clenchyourfistsat

thesametime.Tensethesemusclesuntiltheyfeeltaut.Then,straightenoutyourarms,shakeoutyourhands,takeadeepbreath,andrelax.

‐ Nowhunchyourshouldersandpullyourheadinlikeaturtle.Pressyouchin

againstyourchest,tighteningyourthroat.Experiencethisuncomfortablesensation,thendropyourshouldersandallowyourheadtofallforward.Now,slowlyandcarefully,rollyourheadtothesideandbackofyourneck.Reversedirectionandrollyourheadtheotherway.Takeadeepbreath,andallowyourneckandshoulderstorelax.

‐ Continuetomoveyourattentionupwardstowardyourheadandface.First,makeafrownbywrinklingupyourforeheadastightlyasyoucan.Next,scrunchupyoureyes,flareyournostrils,andclenchyourjaw.Finally,compressyoulipsintoatightO.Pillyourlipstight.Holdit,tighterandtighter.Thenrelaxandletgo.Now,takeadeepbreath,relaxyourlipsandblowoutforcefullyslowly.

‐ Nowgobackmentallyovertheentireprocedure,andfeeltherelaxationinyourfeet,ankles,calves,backandchest.Asyouletgo,moreandmore,therelaxationdeepensinyourneck,shoulders,armsandhands.Godeeperanddeeperintobeingrelaxed.Finally,feeltherelaxationextendtoyourheadandface,yourjawhanginglooseandyourlipsslightlyparted.

‐ Now,imagineasituationthatthatwouldangeryouandimaginethetrigger

thoughtsthatitwouldproduce.(pause).Thenimagine,asyourbodyjustexperienced,allthattensionleavingyourbody.Imaginebeingincontrolandconfident.(pause).Imaginemanagingthesituationconstructively.Imaginethesituationreachingapositiveoutcome.(pause).Nowfocusonthispositiveoutcome,imaginebeingcontentandrelaxedandrealizingthatyouchangedthesituationforthebetter.(pause).Nowopenyoureyes.