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Anxiety stories

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© Bayside Psychotherapy

© Bayside Psychotherapy

© Bayside Psychotherapy

Probably in college. I had been putting the burden of my germaphobia and my anxious behaviors on my parents for many years, and for quite some time they had been encouraging me to see a therapist. I was very reluctant because I felt that if I admitted I had been having this problem all along, it would mean that all the years before I got help had been wasted somehow.

I first realised I was suffering with an anxiety disorder when I was around 17 to 18, but I didn't fully understand it until I was around 20. However, I've been suffering with anxiety in some form since the age of 13 after my Grand-dad suddenly passed away. That was my trigger, but at the time I was too young to understand what was happening to me and often thought I was going completely mad.

© Bayside Psychotherapy

My (mild) anxiety disorder first became apparent the night before flying to Alaska for an expedition in 2009. I had a very severe panic attack and the attacks continued from that point on, in association with my expeditions.

When I was eighteen, I left my parents' house to move to Canada for university. With the big change, both geographically and academically, in addition to issues in my personal life over the next year, and concerns about my health (a cancer scare), my operating level of what I would later know was depression and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder rose significantly.

© Bayside Psychotherapy

© Bayside Psychotherapy

I never really face much adversity due to my OCD or depression, so I suppose the hardest thing was getting out of bed and making myself go to the first few appointments at the beginning of my recovery. I know this sounds facetious, but I'm being totally serious, the hardest part was starting.

My anxiety poses numerous challenges for my expeditions, one of the more serious ones being my inability to eat much for the first few days of expeditions. I learnt not the try and eliminate my anxiety but instead to manage it. It was only when I accepted that it would always be there in some form that the severity of it reduced dramatically.

© Bayside Psychotherapy

It was a long and difficult process for me to get to a place where I can fly with a low level of anxiety. I still take the Airborne vitamin supplements before/after getting on the plane, in addition to my normal 'regimen' of using a sinus rinse and gargling with mouthwash, which is something I do every time I settle back in after a day out, on the recommendation of a previous ENT doctor.

My biggest challenges would be the fact that my anxiety stops me from doing very simple things that shouldn't be a problem. I hate being alone anywhere and always think something bad will happen to me if I am, I get very worked up if I have to meet new people as I believe they'll judge me (this stems from being bullied when I was younger, or so my counsellor believes) and going on long journeys is also another trigger for me.

© Bayside Psychotherapy

© Bayside Psychotherapy

The one piece of advice I would give would be the same piece of advice that turned my life around: you can't control what happens to you, but you can control how you react to those things. Obviously this is easier said than done but when you commit to this way of thinking there is no stopping you.

© Bayside Psychotherapy

Try to be okay with the ups and downs. I've changed medications three times now, tried talk therapy, journaling, meditation, and a number of other self-soothing techniques. Sometimes, these treatments work for a while before you feel your anxiety levels rising again and you have to move on to something else.

© Bayside Psychotherapy

Speak about it to friends and you'll find out how many others are suffering. Everyone has unique ways of dealing with their anxiety, so the more you speak about it, the more ways you'll learn about dealing with it. The important thing is to realise that just because you suffer from anxiety, it doesn't mean there is something 'wrong' with you.

© Bayside Psychotherapy

Whether it’s speaking to your GP, seeing a counsellor or even just having support from your family and friends; you will get through it. There's always light at the end of the tunnel and it’s really important to remember that! That's why I decided to share my anxiety story on my blog. I hope it can help other people out there who might be in a similar situation and need the encouragement and motivation to keep fighting. Don't let this horrible illness win!

© Bayside Psychotherapy