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ATTRACTION s JUDGMENTS OF ATTRACTION ARE ONGOING s JUDGMENTS OF ATTRACTION MAY INVOLVE: –Social Attraction –Physical Attraction –Task Attraction

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Page 1: ATTRACTION s JUDGMENTS OF ATTRACTION ARE ONGOING s JUDGMENTS OF ATTRACTION MAY INVOLVE: –Social Attraction –Physical Attraction –Task Attraction
Page 2: ATTRACTION s JUDGMENTS OF ATTRACTION ARE ONGOING s JUDGMENTS OF ATTRACTION MAY INVOLVE: –Social Attraction –Physical Attraction –Task Attraction

ATTRACTION

JUDGMENTS OF ATTRACTION ARE ONGOING

JUDGMENTS OF ATTRACTION MAY INVOLVE:– Social Attraction– Physical Attraction– Task Attraction

Page 3: ATTRACTION s JUDGMENTS OF ATTRACTION ARE ONGOING s JUDGMENTS OF ATTRACTION MAY INVOLVE: –Social Attraction –Physical Attraction –Task Attraction

PRIMARY BASES OF ATTRACTION

REWARDS PROXIMITY SIMILARITY PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS WANTING WHAT YOU CAN’T HAVE

Page 4: ATTRACTION s JUDGMENTS OF ATTRACTION ARE ONGOING s JUDGMENTS OF ATTRACTION MAY INVOLVE: –Social Attraction –Physical Attraction –Task Attraction

SIMILARITY & DISSIMILARITY

WHY DO WE SEEK SIMILARITIES?– Suggests a common view of the world– Suggests promising energy investment

Page 5: ATTRACTION s JUDGMENTS OF ATTRACTION ARE ONGOING s JUDGMENTS OF ATTRACTION MAY INVOLVE: –Social Attraction –Physical Attraction –Task Attraction

WHAT SIMILARITIES DO WE LOOK FOR?– Share understanding/acceptance of norms?– Share aspects of communicative style?– Share personal characteristics?– Share personal preferences?– Share needs?

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WHEN DO SIMILARITIES NOT LEAD TO RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPMENT?– Offsetting dissimilarities– Adequate stable of friends– Other is similar on things you’d like to

avoid– Other is disliked by another valued/similar

person– Early similarities superficial; don’t hold up– Specifics of abstract similarities revealed

as dissimilarities

Page 7: ATTRACTION s JUDGMENTS OF ATTRACTION ARE ONGOING s JUDGMENTS OF ATTRACTION MAY INVOLVE: –Social Attraction –Physical Attraction –Task Attraction

WHEN DO DISSIMILARITIES POSITIVELY AFFECT ATTRACTION?– Put yourself in contrast to others to test self– Time and energy investment is short– Differences don’t challenge most cherished

beliefs– Differences are what you’d like to be like or

need– Offsetting rewards– Dissimilarities minimally effect type of

attraction

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HOW ARE SIMILARITIES/DISSIMILARITIES REVEALED?– In changing bits and pieces (not like in

“phantom-other” experiments)– Perhaps not revealed per se (e.g., you perceive

“flexibility” which you then “see” everywhere)– When other behaves out of the ordinary– Dating services; online matchmaking sites

countrysingles.com Match.com (100,000 active members claimed)

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ATTRACTIVE PERSONALITY TRAITS (FOR MEN & WOMEN)

HONESTY, COMPETENCE, INTELLIGENCE, ENERGY, ABILITY, WARMTH, CONSIDERATION, UNDERSTANDING, SENSE OF HUMOR, DEPENDABILITY, EMOTIONAL STABILITY

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THE DARK SIDE OF ATTRACTION

FATAL ATTRACTION– When the characteristics that attract a

couple to each other create hurt & eventually destroy the relationship

TWO-SIDED ATTRACTION– When the same characteristic that

attracted you to a person becomes a characteristic which you don’t like