August 2015 - Av/Elul 5775

Shofar Av / Elul 5775 Jewish Family Congregation August 2015

www.jewishfamilycongregation.org

From the Rabbi’s Desk page 2 President’s Message page 3 Religious School page 4 Early Childhood Center page 5

Ritual Committee page 6 Ask the Rabbi page 7 Yahrzeit/Birthday/Anniversary page 10 Donations page 16

August Service Schedule

Shabbat Ekev, Deuteronomy 7:12 – 11:25

August 7 6 pm Shabbat Service at Ridgefield

location

Shabbat Re’eh, Deuteronomy 11:26 – 16:17

August 14 6 pm Shabbat Service at Ridgefield

location. S’Mores Oneg Shabbat.

7:30 pm Shabbat Service at South

Salem location

Shabbat Shoftim, Deuteronomy 16:18 – 21:9

August 21 6 pm Shabbat Service at Ridgfield

location

Shabbat Ki Tetze, Deuteronomy 21:10 – 25:19

August 28 6 pm Bar-B-Que at South Salem

location. RSVP to office

before Monday, August 24.

7:30 pm Shabbat Service at South

Salem location

Next Bar-B-Que August 31, hope you’ll join us

Liv is this many years old

Lazy summer days...

Page 2 Jewish Family Congregation Shofar August 2015

From the Rabbi’s Desk

Thinking about Place and Space

As I write this article (several weeks before publication), Jews around the world are getting ready to

celebrate Shabbat Balak. In Parshat Balak (Num. 22:2-25:9), we read of the famous story of Balak’s

desire to curse the Jewish people who he sees as a threat. Balak was the King of Moab, and he hires

the prophet Balaam to prophesy against the Jews. Balaam agrees to take on this job, but tells Balak

that he can only repeat what God tells him. In his first two attempts, Balaam does not successfully

curse the Israelites, and Balak sends him back a third time. Instead of a curse, Balaam speaks the fa-

mous words of Numbers 24:5 -- “Mah tovu ohalecha Ya’akov, mishkenotecha Yisrael -- How lovely are

your tents, O Jacob, your dwelling places, O Israel.” This verse of blessing is traditionally said by Jews

upon entering a synagogue and also begins the morning service. What initially was intended to be a

curse, becomes a blessing to the Israelites, a blessing that is used until today.

A midrash states that one of the reasons Balaam makes this statement of blessing is that he realizes

upon looking down on the Israelite encampment that the entrance to each tent faces a different direc-

tion, thus providing a small sense of privacy from their neighbors. The ancient Israelite camp was

designed to foster dignity and respect, even in close quarters. How and where we live makes a differ-

ence in our lives.

The way we design and live in “our space” can have a profound impact on our lives -- at home, at work,

and in other places of comfort and importance. As we all know, the changing nature of our prayer space

as a congregation creates many mixed emotions, including excitement and sadness, anticipation and

nostalgia, hope and resignation. We are all unsure how much longer we will be able to enjoy the

familiar and beautiful surroundings of our Smith Ridge Road location. Please know that when the appro-

priate time arrives to officially say goodbye to that space, we will mark that moment in a holy and

meaningful way.

My hope is that you will spend some time in the Peaceable Street location to make it home. This feeling

does not happen overnight, but only with the passage of time and familiarity. Our friends who have

called the Peaceable Street building their home love it as much as we love the Smith Ridge Road

building. I know that after spending some time there, you, too, will enjoy its charm, its spaces, its

modern facilities and what it provides to our combined congregation. A new home does not become one

instantly, but takes time and effort.

Although we may feel the sadness of saying goodbye to a special place, my hope is that you will realize

what a blessing the new building is for our combined congregation. I know that it is challenging to

change the place and space we love as a community. I hope that after a few visits, you, too, will

proudly be able to say upon passing through the doors of our new congregation’s home, “Mah tovu

ohalecha Ya’akov, mishkenotecha Yisrael -- How lovely are your tents, O Jacob, your dwelling places, O

Israel.” In that way, we can continue our blessing into a new era.

Rabbi Marcus L. Burstein

Av/Elul 5775 Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Page 3

Jewish Family

Congregation 111 Smith Ridge Road

P.O. Box 249 South Salem, NY 10590 Phone: (914) 763-3028 Fax: (914) 763-3069

[email protected]

www.jewishfamilycongregation.org —————

Rabbi

Marcus L. Burstein, D. Min. [email protected]

—————

Director of Education Leslie Gottlieb

[email protected]

Early Childhood Center Director Jane Weil Emmer

[email protected]

Administrator Kathleen Sakowicz

[email protected]

Bookkeeper

Carol Wakeman [email protected]

—————

Glenn Kurlander, Co-President

Hal Wolkin, Co-President [email protected]

Josh Blum, First Vice-President

Suzanne Sunday, Second Vice-President

Robyn Cohen, Treasurer

Richard Mishkin, Secretary [email protected]

Karen Conti, Trustee Jon Glass, Trustee

Mindy Hoffman, Trustee Robi Margolis, Trustee Paul Storfer, Trustee

Bonnie Wattles, Trustee [email protected]

Shofar Editor

Kathleen Sakowicz

Shofar Printer

Copy Stop Royal Press

In the last month, we have made significant progress in connection

with the formation of our new synagogue. We’ve begun to hold more

services together, giving us the opportunity to build new relationships

and create a single, united community and a shared culture. The Rab-

bis and the Ritual Committee have made substantial progress planning

for our first High Holy Day observances as one community, which as

you know will be held in the Ridgefield building. And we’ve begun to

advance the many administrative matters that need to be accom-

plished, such as the integration of systems and processes, and the

physical move from the South Salem building to the Ridgefield build-

ing.

As the veterans of large corporate mergers and combinations, we

know that, at least for a time, the changes we experience as we pro-

gress in forming our new synagogue will feel a bit alien and perhaps

even disconcerting to some of us, particularly those who have been

members of one of the legacy synagogues for many years. It is natural

for us sometimes to feel uncomfortable when dealing with change. And

we know that, at least for a time, there will be a natural and quite un-

derstandable tendency to think in terms of “we” and “they,” no matter

which one of the two, as a historical matter, is our legacy synagogue.

But of course our goal should be to begin to think and feel in terms of

“we” and “us”—a new, expanded, stronger and enriched “we” and “us.”

It is inevitable that there will be some bumps along the way. Some of

us, acting with only the best of intentions, may say or do things that

appear to others to be somehow a bit off, perhaps even a little insensi-

tive. Language and actions matter deeply, and of course we should all

do our best to be sensitive and thoughtful where the feelings and per-

ceptions of all the members of our community are concerned, no mat-

ter which legacy synagogue they identify with as an historic matter.

But at the same time, we should also try our best, when feeling slight-

ed or offended might be an unchecked and natural reaction, to try to

see past the perceived but unintended slight. To try to remind our-

selves that, first, what we might perceive as a slight was certainly un-

intended and, second, that we should keep our eye on the ball. And for

the two of us, keeping on our eye on the ball means reminding our-

selves—when we might encounter bumps in the road—that the things

that unite all of us deeply and profoundly as a community are so much

more important than any small, largely transitory differences, we may

from time to time observe.

In this regard, as we’ve said before, the future is ours to make. Those

of us who have struggled with the concept of giving up a separate

identity rooted in one or the other legacy synagogue may find our-

selves at different stages in the cycle of acceptance. Perhaps we have-

n’t quite accepted yet; perhaps we’re hoping for the best but still

Continued on page 8

From The Co-Presidents By Glenn Kurlander and Hal Wolkin


From the Religious School By Leslie Gottlieb

Dreams of a Collaborative Religious School Community

In just a few short weeks, Religious School will open its doors at 46 Peaceable Street in Ridgefield for

the first time-- as a new entity. Although we do not yet have a name for our establishment, we have

two distinctive identities to unite and a new culture to create. I am confident that with everyone’s en-

ergy, creativity and support—this new effort will be superior to the two former school incarnations.

The most critical thing, to me, is to help to create a new and special community. On paper, this sounds

obvious and simplistic but I do believe that this challenge is a great one considering all the new ways

we will need to come together. We talk about a holy community in Judaism, a kehillah kedoshah, and

this is important for creating a prayer minyan, but it also has another serious association.

Steven J. Rein from Park Avenue Synagogue wrote in the temple newsletter several years back, “The

collective enables the individual to achieve an experience of prayer otherwise unattainable.

(Kadushin, Worship and Ethics) Prayer seeks to create an awareness of and sensitivity to the needs of

other human beings. It is in these moments, our sages tell us, that a gathering of individuals is trans-

formed into a kehillah kedoshah – a holy community. “

How is community created, really, in any situation or environment? How does it happen and who is re-

sponsible? Whether we are talking about a school or camp or sports team—how is that community de-

fined and how does it define itself? What words would be used to describe it?

At the URJ Eisner Camp where many of our students attend (as well as Crane Lake, Harlam and other

camps), campers refer to the place as being inside an enormous bubble. Is that a good thing? To

campers, it is a magical zone. Once you are in the bubble, there is a feeling of being protected and

happy. Even though campers experience “moments of sadness,” formerly referred to as homesickness,

camp is a safe place and most campers eagerly pay attention to the start of the camp season with an

official online countdown to the number of days until it begins. This goes on during the fall, winter and

spring months and is exciting to observe. Even this particular phenomenon is interesting to note as it,

too, is helpful in creating a certain tone that defines this community. In creating community—

everything counts. Every opportunity needs consideration. It is difficult work but we cannot desist

from trying at every turn.

Rabbi Burstein and I planned a trip to the Berkshires in July to visit our Eisner campers—those from

TSI and JFC. We didn’t get to see all twenty or so campers because some of their time there did not

overlap with our visit, but we made sure to make it into the bubble as we have for the past two years

we have worked together. Rabbi Reiner spent time working there in July, too, and hopefully the JFC

kids got to know him a little better. It takes time and opportunity to create bonds that make up a com-

munity-- but time alone is not the essential element. Combined effort counts a lot!

People are the secret ingredient to a special community. When people reach into each other’s lives in a

meaningful way, there is a palpable energy that rises. Being a part of the group becomes infectious.

Everyone wants to join in. Everyone feels important and needed. There is a role for each individual

and that is felt clearly. After this kind of rapport continues as people connect-- individuals no longer

feel like a collection of single beings. There is a unifying spirit that arises whether it is in a ritual set-

ting, in our case, or not. There is a feeling of reaching a goal-- together. There is a feeling of accom-

plishment that sets in but there is always the struggle to do more and be better.

This is my hope for our new school and synagogue. Ken yehi ratzon.


From the Early Childhood Center By Jane Emmer

If there is one thing that the Early Childhood Center brings with us to our new home, our Ridgefield

home, it is a sense of a community. We look forward to evolving and weaving the threads together to

make one strong vibrant community.

When I use the term “creating community”‘ I am referring

to that sense of belonging, of being a member of our team,

of being someone we value in our classroom. I am referring

to the idea that every child has something amazing to offer

and can make a difference in our school. I am referring to

how the set-up and look of our classrooms will make chil-

dren feel. And I am referring to how we will help our stu-

dents feel genuinely connected to each other, to the teach-

ers, to the environment, and to the processes we explore

throughout each day.

But the big question of the day is “how do we create a

sense of community?” To create a community we need to

actually consider not only our physical space but our

cognitive and emotional space. We want to see warmth and

beauty in the classrooms. The teachers create that sense of

community. We are blessed to bring with us magical edu-

cators, Alison Brodoff, Ellen Goldstein, Dinah Rader and Lynn Kassel. We are also lucky to find two new

teachers, Gernine Tuckner and Meredith Eichner. I am confident that the community this team will cre-

ate will be inspirational.

To help create the emotional and cognitive environment, we

look for ways to personalize our classroom. We invite fami-

lies to send in photos of the children and their family mem-

bers to post around the classroom This gives children a

sense of unity and helps them feel connected to each other.

Personalizing the classroom with children’s artwork and

even their names can help to give children that critical sense

of belonging.

Finally, I want to share that creating community is not a les-

son, it’s a way of life. Building a sense of caring for each

other doesn’t happen by reading one book about friendship.

Building a sense of belonging doesn’t happen by playing one

game. Having that warmth and beauty in the classroom

doesn’t happen by simply setting up a warm and beautiful

environment. Instead, creating a sense of community is a

year-long commitment. As we genuinely and lovingly invite students to be a part of everything we do

in the classroom and help them find success, we find that sense of community starting to come to life.


From the Ritual Committee By Michael Salpeter

One hundred fifty years after the end of the Civil War we were reminded of the continuation of racism

in the US by the tragic murders of Rev. Clementa Pinckney and eight of his congregants inside Emanu-

el AME Church in Charleston. For our family we were touched deeply as our son Dylan who resides in

Charleston participated in visiting the church as well as joining hands with perhaps 20,000 others in

solidarity on the Ravenel Bridge. In fact we are aware that anti-Semitism also continues to be a prob-

lem around the world as evidenced by the attack on a kosher supermarket in Paris earlier this year.

At that time, 150 years ago, the Jewish population of the US was quite small. The estimate for the

number of Jews in this country at the time of Abraham Lincoln’s election is said to be about 150,000

(compared to approximately 6 million today). The spring 2015 edition of the Jewish Review of Books

contains a review of a non-fiction work entitled Lincoln and the Jews: A History authored by Jonathan

D. Sarna and Benjamin Shapell. They strive to show that his interaction with Jews was unique for the

19th century.

When Lincoln was initially elected to the Illinois legislature he met Jewish people for the first time:

Louis Saltzenstien a postmaster, Julius Hammerslough a haberdasher, and Abraham Jonas a lawyer

and politician. It was Jonas who urged Jewish voters to support Lincoln by chastising the Buchanan

administration in its handling of the Mortara affair (read about this at http://www.jpost.com/Jewish-

World/Jewish-Features/This-Week-in-History-The-Mortara-Affair-317437 ). Despite this attempt at

support, most Jews in 1860 voted for the Democrat Stephen Douglas as they feared that by abolishing

slavery there might be interruption of cotton production, thereby threatening the clothing trade involv-

ing many Jews. Regardless, as President, Lincoln appointed Jews to prominent posts and dealt with

them without prejudice in cases of reprimand or punishment.

In December 1862, Ulysses Grant issued an order expelling Jews from the territory under his com-

mand as he believed that Jews were present in the war zone for the purposes of “commercial specula-

tion.” Lincoln, having heard about this order from one of the expellees, ordered that it be revoked.

On the book’s last page Sarna writes that Lincoln “interacted with Jews, represented Jews, befriended

Jews, admired Jews, commissioned Jews, trusted Jews, defended Jews, pardoned Jews, took advice

from Jews, gave jobs to Jews, extended rights to Jews…. His connections to Jews went further and

deeper than those of any previous American president.” It was only fitting then as the news of

Lincoln’s death spread across the country early on Shabbat morning after being shot the previous

evening that rabbis were the first clergy to eulogize the President.

We can only hope that if Lincoln were able to take a stand and effect change in the 1860’s that we can

take a stand in the 21st century to help eliminate prejudice facing our society. Join with us as we

continue our congregation’s presence in Westchester and Fairfield counties, perhaps also joining in

our social action program or perhaps by working in your own particular way.


Ask the Rabbi

What are some of your pet peeves with Hebrew words and their usage?

I’d like to share three pet peeves that challenge me -- and many other rabbis. Hopefully you will find

this very brief Hebrew language “lesson” informative and helpful.

1. Use of the word “bar mitzvah” or “bat mitzvah.”

One does not “get bar mitzvahed” or “have a bat mitzvah.” Rather one “becomes a bar/bat mitz-

vah.” Technically speaking, according to Jewish law any Jew who reaches 13 years and 1 day old be-

comes responsible for his/her religious obligations. This occurs whether or not one is called to the to-

rah. We can celebrate a bar/bat mitzvah ceremony or service.

Also the plural of bar/bat mitzvah is not “bar/bat mitzvahs” -- rather it is “b’nai mitzvah” (for boys or

for boys and girls) and “b’not mitzvah: (for girls only).

2. Use of the word “oneg.”

The word “oneg” means delight. We are commanded to celebrate and to delight in Shabbat. Sharing

food and conversation with friends and family following Shabbat services is one way to delight in Shab-

bat. While one can attend and participate in an “oneg,” it is more precise to say “Oneg Shabbat” for

the reception that follows Shabbat services. The plural of “Oneg Shabbat” is “Ongei Shabbat.”

3. Use of the word “birkat.”

The word for blessing in Hebrew is “bracha.” When we want to refer to a particular blessing (as in “the

blessing of X”), the word changes to “birkat” and is followed by the specific word for that blessing. For

example, the Birkat HaMazon is the Blessing after the Meal. Sometimes this blessing is erroneously re-

ferred to as “the birkat,” which effectively means “the blessing of” (and leaves off what the blessing is

for).


Continued from page 3—Co-Presidents’ message

standing on the sidelines waiting to see how it goes; perhaps we’ve embraced it wholeheartedly and are

excited to be a part of something new and promising. In any event, as summer wanes and we begin to

prepare ourselves for a season of introspection, we should be introspective about what really matters to

us as Jews and what we most want from our community, as well as what it means to be a member of a

community, and what we might owe it in return.

Glenn Kurlander and Hal Wolkin

Check our website in the coming weeks

for High Holy Day Information.

www.jewishfamilycongregation.org

Scheduling Weddings or Funerals

with Rabbi Burstein

Rabbi Burstein wants very much to be with

you during significant life-cycle moments.

Please speak with him before setting any

dates or times for weddings or funerals. Don’t

be disappointed to learn he is not available at

the time you’ve already arranged, bring him

“into the loop” at the very beginning of your

planning.



Zachary Amerling

Adam Andrade

Charlotte Bellinson

Samantha Berg

Richard Bersch

Cole Brand

Jason Breslin

Debra Cohen

Rick Cohlan

Matthew Duckett

Jane Emmer

David Firestein

Dillon Firestein

Sally Firestein

David Fischer

Andrew Fishkin

Nate Fishkin

Lillian Gilbert

Michael Gitlitz

Kenneth Gordon

Dr. Allan Gottlieb

Abbey Grzymala

Alexander Junquera

Spencer Kane

Peter Kaplan

Spencer Kaplan

Hillary Lavin

Dylan Leitner

Justin Lipper

Rebecca Mishkin

Elisabeth Rich

Alan Sanders

Luca Segalla

Aspen Shafer

Skylar Shafer

Steve Shainmark

John Stern

J. J. Stevelman

Zoe Vandervelden

Daniel Westlake

Please call the JFC Office when any relevant information arises or changes so all Birthday, Anniversary and

Yahrzeit listings are accurate and up to date.

BIRTHDAYS

Have you considered celebrating significant birthdays and

anniversaries with a leaf on our Simcha Tree of Life?

Call the JFC Office for details.

Please Support Our Advertisers

Helga Allen

Ferdinand Aufsesser

Jerry Blum

Sadie Dutka

Sam Feinleib

Richard Glass

Julius Goodman

Lila Gordon

Leo Klotz

Dina Leitner

Claire Markham

Edward Joel Mendell

Dax Nemerov

Henry Salmon

Joseph Salpeter

Hugo Sternberger

Janet Treitman

YAHRZEITS

Frank & Susan Andrade

Jeffrey Berg & Debra Paget

Theodore Bloch & Lisa Block

Adam & Robyn Cohen

David & Sally Firestein

Andrew & Amy Fishkin

Allan & Ellen Goldstein

Lawrence & Leslie Gottlieb

Richard & Lydia Hellinger

David & Erica Levens

Harold & Ruth Ossher

Harry & Sandra Rosenhouse

ANNIVERSARIES






Collaborative Religious School Summer Lunch & Learn All Registered & New Students Welcome

Save the Date: Thursday, August 20, 2015 Location: 46 Peaceable Street, Ridgefield, CT

Join us for lunch from 12:00-1:00 pm…parents & siblings, too!

Following lunch there will be two fun learning sessions for students entering:

Grades 2-4 & Grades 5-7 Students will attend one program & then switch to the other (12:00-2:00 pm)

Hebrew: Review & Games Culture: Israel & Holiday Review & Games

Please rsvp by August 18 by 12:00 pm to:

Leslie Gottlieb, Director of Education at: [email protected]

Long-time JFC member and teacher

Rona Salpeter

is available to help with:

babysitting, house sitting, animal care—& all

jobs requiring a loving caring individual!

References are available upon request.

Contact Rona at # 914-643-8176

mailto:[email protected]


Donations

Caring Committee

Michael & Rona Salpeter In memory of Allen Alexander Drs. Ethan David & Michael Salpeter In memory of Irving Greenberg

General Fund

Richard & Bobbie Cohlan In memory of Allen Alexander

Rabbi Discretionary Fund

Aaron & Susan Shapiro On the occasion of Emily Wein's Bat Mitzvah The Wolkin/Goldfield Families In memory of Phyllis & Abraham Goldfield Hal & Laurie Wolkin In honor of Allen Alexander

Donations made after the tenth of the month will appear in next month’s Shofar.

Attention all Students Entering Grades 8 & 9

Eligible for Confirmation I & II

Join us for a No Fee Pizza Dinner

Whether or not you are already registered for Religious School in the fall, please join Rabbi Burstein,

Rabbi Reiner and Director of Education, Leslie Gottlieb for a fun summer night of including dinner!

Thursday, August 20, 6 - 7:30 pm at 46 Peaceable Street, Ridgefield, CT

RSVP to: Leslie Gottlieb at [email protected] or (914)763-3028




Non Profit Organization

Postage PAID

White Plains, NY Permit No. 9022

CURRENT RESIDENT OR

Summer Fun headed outdoors

Jewish Family Congregation and Temple Shearith Israel’s

SUMMER BARBECUE ~ FRIDAY, August 28 at Jewish Family Congregation, 111 Smith Ridge Road, South Salem, NY

6:00 pm BBQ and Shabbat sing-a-long

7:30 pm Shabbat Service

RSVP before noon, Monday, August 24 [email protected]

914-763-3028

Make sure to check out our calendar for up to date events

at www.jewishfamilycongregation.org

Documents

August 2015 - Av/Elul 5775