Business Communication Chapter 4

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Business Communication

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  • 2010 Thomson South-Western

    Instructor Only Version

    CHAPTER 4

    Revising Business Messages

  • Chapter 1, Slide 2 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 4, Slide 2 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

    The Writing Process

  • Chapter 1, Slide 3 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 4, Slide 3 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

    Improving content and sentence structure May involve adding, cutting, and recasting.

    Correcting grammar, spelling, punctuation, format, and mechanics

    Proofreading

    Revising

  • Chapter 1, Slide 4 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 4, Slide 4 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

    What to revise?

  • Chapter 4, Slide 5 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

    Concise Wording

    Revise your messages to eliminate flabby

    expressions.

    Instead of this

    We are of the opinion that

    Please feel free to

    In addition to the above

    At this point in time

    Despite the fact that

    Try this

    We think

    Please

    Also

    Now

    Although

  • Chapter 4, Slide 6 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

    Limit Long Lead-Ins

    Instead of this

    This memo is to inform

    you that all employees

    meet today.

    I am writing this letter

    to say thanks to

    everyone who voted.

    Try this

    All employees

    meet today.

    Thanks to

    everyone who

    voted.

  • Chapter 4, Slide 7 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

    Drop Unnecessary Fillers

    Revise sentences to avoid fillers such as there

    is/was and it is/was when used merely to take

    up space.

    Instead of this

    There was only one

    employee who should

    be promoted.

    It was Lisa and Jeff who were honored.

    Try this

    Only one employee should be promoted.

    Lisa and Jeff were

    honored.

  • Chapter 4, Slide 8 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

    Remove Redundant Words

    advance warning

    close proximity

    exactly identical

    filled to capacity

    final outcome

    necessary requisite

    new beginning

    past history

    refer back

    serious danger

    Avoid unnecessarily repetitious words. What

    words could be omitted in these expressions?

  • Chapter 4, Slide 9 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

    Remove Redundant Words

    advance warning

    close proximity

    exactly identical

    filled to capacity

    final outcome

    necessary requisite

    new beginning

    past history

    refer back

    serious danger

    Avoid unnecessarily repetitious words. What

    words could be omitted in these expressions?

  • Chapter 4, Slide 10 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

    Dump Trite Expressions

    Trite and Outdated

    as per your request

    pursuant to your request

    attached hereto

    under separate cover

    Modern

    at your request

    at your request

    attached

    separately

  • Chapter 4, Slide 11 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

    Jargon

    Computer Jargon

    queue

    export

    bandwidth

    Alternative

    list of documents waiting to be printed

    transfer data from one program to another

    Internet capacity

    Avoid technical terms and special terminology

    that readers would not recognize.

    Is jargon ever permissible?

  • Chapter 4, Slide 12 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

    Slang

    to bag on

    clueless

    turkey

    chill/chill out

    to tease, to nag, or to

    complain

    unaware, nave

    someone stupid or silly

    relax

    Avoid slang (informal expressions with

    arbitrary or extravagantly changed meanings).

  • Chapter 4, Slide 13 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

    Slang

    An example from the world of Dilbert:

  • Chapter 4, Slide 14 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

    Clichs

    Avoid clichs (overused expressions).

    Substitute more precise words.

    Instead of this

    Last but not least, you

    should keep your nose

    to the grindstone.

    We had reached the

    end of our rope.

    Try this

    Finally, you should

    work diligently.

    We could go no

    further.

  • Chapter 4, Slide 15 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

    Buried Verbs

    Revise verbs that have been converted to

    nouns.

    Look for words ending in

    tion or ment. Could they

    be more efficiently and

    forcefully converted to verbs?

    Tip

  • Chapter 4, Slide 16 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

    Instead of this

    The manager came to

    the realization that

    telecommuting made

    sense.

    A job seeker must

    make application

    before May 1.

    Try this

    The manager

    realized that

    telecommuting

    made sense.

    A job seeker must

    apply before

    May 1.

    Buried Verbs

  • Chapter 4, Slide 17 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

    Instead of this

    Once we have the

    establishment of a

    Web site, our

    business will grow.

    Please give serious

    consideration to a

    company intranet.

    Try this

    Once we

    establish a Web

    site, our business

    will grow.

    Please seriously

    consider a

    company intranet.

    Buried Verbs

  • Chapter 4, Slide 18 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

    Control Exuberance

    To sound credible, dont overuse intensifiers such as very, definitely, quite, completely,

    extremely, really, actually, and totally

    Excessive

    The manager is actually

    quite pleased with your

    proposal because the

    plan is definitely

    workable.

    Businesslike

    The manager is

    pleased with your

    proposal because

    the plan is workable.

  • Chapter 4, Slide 19 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

    Precise Words

    Revise your writing to include precise words.

    Strive for specific verbs, concrete nouns, and

    vivid adjectives. Beware of unclear pronouns.

    Unclear

    The man asked

    for a raise.

    An employee

    presented a

    proposal.

    More Precise

    Jeff Jones asked for a 10

    percent salary increase.

    Kelly Keeler, production

    manager, presented a plan

    to stagger hours.

  • Chapter 4, Slide 20 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

    Precise Words

    Revise your writing to include descriptive,

    dynamic adjectives instead of overworked,

    all-purpose ones.

    Instead of this

    They thought her

    report was good.

    She said she would get in touch.

    Try this

    The management council

    thought Erins report was factual and well written.

    Sheila said she would

    send you an e-mail.

  • Chapter 4, Slide 21 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

    Check the Format

  • Chapter 4, Slide 22 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

    Designing Documents for Readability

    Employ white space.

    Headings

    Short paragraphs

    Ragged-right margins

  • Chapter 4, Slide 23 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

    Choose appropriate typefaces.

    Serif typefaces have small features at ends

    of strokes. Useful for body text.

    Times New Roman

    Century

    Georgia

    Garamond

    Designing Documents for Readability

  • Chapter 4, Slide 24 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

    Choose appropriate typefaces.

    Sans serif typefaces are cleaner without

    features. Useful for headings, signs, and

    noncontinuous reading material.

    Arial

    Tahoma

    Verdana

    Calibri

    Designing Documents for Readability

  • Chapter 4, Slide 25 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

    Designing Documents for Readability

    Use bulleted and numbered lists.

    Break up complex information into smaller chunks.

    Use numbered lists for sequences.

    Use bulleted lists for items that dont require a certain order.

  • Chapter 4, Slide 26 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

    Instead of this

    To clean the printer, you

    should do the following.

    First, you should

    disconnect the power

    cord. Then you open the

    front cover, and the

    printer area should be

    cleaned with a soft cloth.

    Try this

    To clean the printer, do

    the following:

    1. Disconnect the power

    cord.

    2. Open the front cover.

    3. Clean the printer with

    a soft cloth.

    Designing Documents for Readability

    Use a numbered list for instructions.

  • Chapter 4, Slide 27 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

    Instead of this

    On April 3 we will be in

    Toledo, and the speaker

    is Troy Lee. On May 20

    we will be in Detroit, and

    the speaker is Sue Wu.

    Try this

    Date City Speaker

    April 3 Toledo Troy Lee

    May 20 Detroit Sue Wu

    Designing Documents for Readability

    Organize information with column headings.

  • Chapter 4, Slide 28 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

    Instead of this

    Our team constantly tries

    to achieve our goals,

    customer service must be

    improved, and our

    production targets must

    be met.

    Try this

    Our team constantly tries

    to (a) achieve our goals,

    (b) improve customer

    service, and (c) hit our

    production targets.

    Designing Documents for Readability

    Use letters to list items within sentences.

    Strive for parallelism.

  • Chapter 4, Slide 29 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

    Instead of this

    The next topic is

    vacations. A new vacation

    schedule will be available

    on May 1.

    To assist employees, we

    will begin a flex schedule

    in the fall.

    Try this

    Vacations. A new vacation

    schedule will be available

    on May 1.

    Flextime. To assist

    employees, we will begin a

    flex schedule in the fall.

    Designing Documents for Readability

    Use paragraph headings to improve

    organization and readability.

  • Chapter 4, Slide 30 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

    What to proofread?

  • Chapter 4, Slide 31 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

    What to Watch for

    in Proofreading

    Spelling

    Grammar

    Punctuation

    Names and numbers

    Format

    IS

    TO

    CK

    PH

    OT

    O.C

    OM

    / D

    MIT

    RY

    SH

    IRO

    NO

    SO

    V

  • Chapter 4, Slide 32 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

    Proofreading Marks

  • Chapter 1, Slide 33 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 4, Slide 33 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

  • Chapter 4, Slide 34 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

    How to Proofread Complex Documents

    Allow adequate time.

    Print a copy, preferably double-spaced.

    Be prepared to find errors.

    Read once for meaning and once for grammar/mechanics.

    Reduce your reading speed.

  • Chapter 4, Slide 35 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

    For documents that must be perfect:

    Have someone read aloud the original while someone else checks the printout.

    Spell names.

    Spell difficult words.

    Note capitalization.

    Note punctuation.

    How to Proofread Complex Documents

  • 2010 Thomson South-Western

    Instructor Only Version

    END