Business Interpersonal Communication Skills - finals3.amazonaws.com/Careertec/Manuals and Texts/Business/BICS.pdf · Business Interpersonal Communication Skills vi BICS/1110 • respond

Business In

terpersonal

Communicatio

n Skills

BICS/1110

BICS/1110 i

Table of Contents

Introduction ..........................................................v

Interpersonal........................................................ 1

Communications: ................................................. 1

The Process ......................................................... 1

Lesson 1 ................................................................................................... 3

The Communication Process............................................................ 3

Initiating the Communication Cycle ................................................ 3 Three Steps for Effective Communication ...................................... 4 Five Categories of Feedback.......................................................... 7 How to Build Rapport and Remove Barriers................................... 9

Lesson 2 ................................................................................................. 14

Using Communication Styles to Connect................................... 14

Recognizing and Working with Auditory People........................... 14 Recognizing and Working with Visual People .............................. 17 Recognizing and Relating to Kinesthetics .................................... 21

The Mechanics of Communicating.................... 29

Effectively .......................................................... 29

Lesson 1 ................................................................................................. 30

How Do You Sound?........................................................................... 30

Developing an Effective VOICE.................................................... 30 Methods for Improving Your Voice ............................................... 33 The Benefits of a Well-placed Pause............................................ 38

Lesson 2 ................................................................................................. 47

Active and Effective Listening ....................................................... 47

Understanding the Seven Levels of Listening .............................. 47 The Most Common Obstacles to Listening................................... 51 Overcoming Self-made Barriers to Listening................................ 54

Lesson 3 ................................................................................................. 63

Speaking the Silent Language ....................................................... 63

Recognizing Non-verbal Messages.............................................. 63 Interpreting Four Modes of Non-verbal Expression...................... 66

Business Interpersonal Communication Skills

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Responding Appropriately to Body Language.............................. 70

Workplace .......................................................... 79

Communication Skills........................................ 79

Lesson 1 ................................................................................................. 80

Assertiveness in Communication.................................................. 80

Three Interpersonal Communication Styles ................................. 80 Four Types of Assertive Responses............................................. 83 Assertive Interpersonal Negotiation Techniques.......................... 86

Lesson 2 ............................................................................................... 102

Criticism Without Conflict.............................................................. 102

Using Constructive Criticism and Feedback............................... 102 Criteria for Giving Constructive Criticism.................................... 104 Accepting Criticism in a Positive Manner.................................... 107

Lesson 3 ............................................................................................... 112

Using Questioning Skills ................................................................ 112

Using Open and Closed Questions ............................................ 112 How to Use Exploratory Questions............................................. 114 Using Leading Questions to Persuade ....................................... 116

Communicating For.......................................... 119

Results ............................................................. 119

Lesson 1 ............................................................................................... 121

Communicating with Colleagues and Co-workers ................ 121

How to Ask Others for Cooperation ............................................ 121 Communicating with Project Team Members............................. 124 Conducting Results-oriented Project Meetings .......................... 129

Lesson 2 ............................................................................................... 148

Communicating with Existing Customers................................ 148

Identifying Customer Motivations................................................ 148 How to Properly Refuse Customer Requests............................. 151 Handling Customer Complaints Effectively ................................ 154

Lesson 3 ............................................................................................... 160

Communicating with Your Managers and Directors............. 160

Three Effective Ways to Organize Your Verbal Message .......... 160 Persuasion Techniques .............................................................. 162 Verbal Transitions ....................................................................... 166

Leadership ....................................................... 179

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Communication Skills...................................... 179

Lesson 1 ............................................................................................... 180

Establish Your Leadership Credentials..................................... 180

Communicating Your Leadership Abilities.................................. 180 Responding to Complaints and Criticism.................................... 182 Enhancing Your Relationship with Your Team........................... 183

Lesson 2 ............................................................................................... 189

Communicate the Vision to Your Team .................................... 189

Team-based Goal Setting and Planning..................................... 189 Why You Need to Set S.M.A.R.T. Objectives............................. 192 Using Power to Communicate Vision ......................................... 195

Lesson 3 ............................................................................................... 200

Support and Inspire the Team...................................................... 200

Delegating Power........................................................................ 200 Lead to Inspire Achievement ...................................................... 202 Five Prime Job Motivators .......................................................... 205

Resolving Conflict With ................................... 213

Communication Skills...................................... 213

Lesson 1 ............................................................................................... 214

Understanding Interpersonal Conflict ....................................... 214

Creating Constructive Conflict .................................................... 214 Controlling Conflict...................................................................... 215 Working with Cognitive Conflict .................................................. 218

Lesson 2 ............................................................................................... 235

Negotiating a Resolution................................................................ 235

Negotiation Strategies................................................................. 235 Collaborating to Succeed............................................................ 237 Making Conflict Work .................................................................. 239

Lesson 3 ............................................................................................... 245

Mediation in the Workplace .......................................................... 245

Obstacles to Mediation ............................................................... 245 How to Mediate ........................................................................... 247 The Roles of the Mediator........................................................... 250

Communicating for Contacts........................... 265

Lesson 1 ............................................................................................... 266

Best Foot Forward: Making a Good Impression..................... 266

Overcoming Shyness.................................................................. 266


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Creating a Good Impression....................................................... 270 Build and Promote Your Reputation ........................................... 273

Lesson 2 ............................................................................................... 278

The Art of Conversation.................................................................. 278

Small Talk for Networking ........................................................... 278 The Basics of Good Conversation .............................................. 280 Avoiding Conversational Pitfalls ................................................. 283

Lesson 3 ............................................................................................... 296

Networking Skills for Business Events and Functions........ 296

Planning for Trade Shows........................................................... 296 Networking Skills for Social Events ............................................ 298 Attracting Sponsors..................................................................... 300

Glossary................................................................................................ 319

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IntroductionIntroductionIntroductionIntroduction The Business Interpersonal Communication Skills course consists of 7 modules as follows: Interpersonal Communications: The Process The Mechanics of Communicating Effectively Workplace Communication Skills Communicating for Results Leadership Communication Skills Resolving Conflict with Communication Skills Communicating for Contacts The first module of the course is designed to give you an understanding of the prime causes of poor communication, and, more importantly, the skills required to minimize their impact. . Upon completion of this module, you will be able to:

• identify the benefits of improving the effectiveness of interpersonal communication.

• sequence the stages of the communication process in the correct order. • analyze the details of an interaction between two people to determine

which communication objective(s) were not achieved. • identify the objectives for the aiming, encoding, and transmission stages

of the communication process. • give probing and understanding feedback in response to a

communicated message, in a given scenario. • characterize the various types of feedback which can be given in relation

to a communicated message. • determine the methods of building rapport to improve the clarity of

interpersonal communication, in a given scenario. • identify the benefit of being able to recognize and respond to the

preferred communication styles of staff, colleagues, and clients. • respond appropriately to a person with an auditory communication style,

in a given situation. • identify the characteristics of people with a preference for the auditory

communication style. • respond appropriately to someone who prefers the visual

communication style, in a given situation. • identify the characteristics of people with a preference for the visual

communication style.


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• respond appropriately to someone with a preference for the kinesthetic communication style, in a given situation.

• identify the characteristics of people with a preference for the kinesthetic communication style.

The second module of the course is designed to help you improve the quality of your three vital communication tools- your voice, your ability to listen, and your body language. This course explains how to develop a voice that people want to listen to, and gives some valuable remedies to use to make your speaking voice the best it can be. In this course you will be given strategies to assist you to improve your listening skills and in doing so, to make solid connections with those you communicate with. Finally, this course will introduce you to the "silent" language of the body, giving you the ability to recognize when there is conflict between what is being said and a person's true feelings. Upon completion of this module, you will be able to:

• recognize the importance of a good speaking voice as a communication tool.

• identify how various characteristics of the speaking voice impact on interpersonal communication.

• identify appropriate methods to overcome various causes of a poor speaking voice.

• use silence to strengthen the communication, in a given situation. • determine how silence can be used positively within an interpersonal

exchange. • recognize the benefits of being an effective listener. • determine the level at which a person is listening from the behaviors

demonstrated during, and subsequent to, a given interaction • characterize the different levels of listening. • given details of a conversation between two people, determine the

motivation for the response given. • recognize the causes of ineffective listening. • identify appropriate methods of improving listening skills. • identify the benefits of understanding body language. • identify examples of body language. • interpret the body language displayed as either responsive, reflective,

defensive or combative. • classify described examples of body language as reflective, responsive,

combative or defensive. • within a given scenario, investigate identified probing points. • recognize the gestures and expressions that indicate a probing point.

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The third module of the course is designed to provide you with the communication techniques you will need to establish intent, both other people’s and your own. It covers the three prime strategies that will enable you to do this. By speaking assertively, you can make your intentions clear, and in this course you will have the opportunity to practice several assertive communication techniques. Similarly, the course will demonstrate how to give constructive criticism on the behavior of others, and how to receive criticism on your own behavior positively. Finally, the course covers the skill of questioning. You will learn how to use questions in a non-threatening way to direct or encourage a conversation, to uncover hidden feelings or motives, and to persuade. Effective questioning is one of the most valuable communication skills of all. Upon completion of this module, you will be able to:

• identify the benefits of using assertive communication in the workplace. • determine which communication mode or modes are being used, based

on examples of verbal and nonverbal behavior. • use the most appropriate assertive response or responses within a given

scenario. • match the four assertive response types to their applicable situations. • use the most appropriate assertive communication technique to

negotiate a preferred outcome in a given scenario. • classify instances of assertive interpersonal negotiation, based on the

technique demonstrated. • identify the benefits of being able to give and receive criticism positively. • classify examples of criticism, constructive criticism, feedback and

personal attack. • give acceptable constructive criticism to a co-worker, within a given

situation. • recognize the five essential criteria for giving acceptable constructive

criticism. • use the appropriate techniques to receive criticism positively within a

given scenario. • identify some of the essential decisions behind the positive reception of

criticism. • recognize the benefit of questioning in interpersonal communication. • use open and closed questions to gain the required information in a

given situation. • identify questions as being either open or closed. • recognize examples of exploratory questions.


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• use appropriate leading questions to persuade another person to take action, within a given situation.

• recognize leading questions. The fourth module of the course is designed to provide you with the techniques you will need to communicate effectively in three common, but sometimes difficult, situations. Firstly, you will learn the communication skills required to ensure the collaboration and cooperation of your colleagues and peers when you are working as a member or as a leader of a project team. Whether you want help with a particular task, or need someone else to undertake the task on your behalf, this course will show you how to approach those capable of giving you what you need. Secondly, this course will outline the communication required to maintain customer relationships during sensitive situations, such as when customers make a complaint, or you must deny their requests. Thirdly, you will learn how best to present information to your managers. Whether your intention is to report or to persuade, if you also want to impress your boss, it's crucial that you communicate concisely, and in a manner which is guaranteed to be understood the first time. Upon completion of this module, you will be able to:

• identify the benefits of being able to gain the cooperation of colleagues and co-workers.

• apply the rules for asking, within a given situation. • match the rules for asking with what each can achieve. • communicate effectively with the social style or styles portrayed within a

given scenario. • recognize the four social styles from described characteristic behavior

and communication. • communicate with participants to keep a meeting on track, in a given

scenario. • characterize the communication strategies for conducting results-

oriented meetings. • recognize the value of using effective interpersonal communication skills

with existing customers. • use the appropriate words and phrases to satisfy a customer's business

motives in a given situation. • recognize examples of common customer business motives. • characterize the three elements of the strategy for refusing customer

requests. • handle a customer complaint effectively within a given situation, using

the PLEASE technique.

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• recognize the various stages of the PLEASE complaint handling technique, and what they can achieve.

• recognize the value of being able to communicate effectively with senior managers.

• differentiate between the different ways to organize informative communication.

• determine the most appropriate persuasion technique to use in a given scenario.

• recognize what persuasive communication strategy is being used in an example.

• recognize the verbal transitions in a given passage of text. The fifth module of the course is designed to provide you with the requirements of leadership, how to communicate your suitability for the role, and how to communicate with those you lead. Leadership is not the same as management. Unlike management, leadership does not require formal recognition of authority. However, it does place other requirements on the person assuming the leadership role. Before people will follow, they need to be reassured that their leader is deserving of both their trust and their confidence. Good relationships are paramount, and communication is the prime tool for building those relationships. Once you have been accepted as the leader, good communication will ensure that objectives are agreed upon, understood, and achieved. Upon completion of this module, you will be able to:

• recognize the benefits of establishing leadership credentials with team members.

• effectively communicate appropriate leadership skills and qualities to team members in a given scenario.

• within a given situation, respond appropriately to concerns or complaints voiced by team members.

• characterize the leadership communication strategies for responding to the concerns and complaints of team members.

• given details of the circumstances, use the appropriate communication to develop relationships with team members.

• identify appropriate methods of developing strong relationships with team members.

• recognize the benefits of involving team members in the goal setting process.

• correctly apply the four steps to encourage team members to participate in goal setting within a given scenario.

• identify correctly expressed S.M.A.R.T. objectives.


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• use the appropriate form of power to influence the person portrayed. • characterize examples of the five types of power. • identify the benefits of empowering, inspiring, and motivating others. • recognize examples of effective, empowering delegation. • use appropriate communication to inspire a team member in a given

scenario. • characterize the three types of leadership behavior that can inspire team

members. • within a given scenario, use the appropriate methods to motivate team

members to achieve objectives. • match examples of behavior with the behavioral motivators that they

represent. The sixth module of the course is designed to give you an understanding of the various causes and outcomes of conflict, together with a practical demonstration of the styles and communication involved in the negotiated resolution of one to one conflict. You will also learn how to act as a third party mediator or arbitrator in situations where the parties concerned seem unable to resolve the dispute unaided. Upon completion of this module, you will be able to:

• recognize the benefits of understanding interpersonal conflict. • use the appropriate communication skills to sustain constructive conflict

in a given scenario. • differentiate between examples of affective conflict and cognitive

conflict. • use appropriate strategies to preempt or avoid interpersonal conflict. • characterize the sources of interpersonal conflict in the workplace. • recognize the results of too little or too much cognitive conflict in the

workplace. • recognize the benefits of being an accomplished negotiator. • classify described behaviors and communication according to the

negotiating strategies they represent. • utilize collaboration strategies in a given conflict scenario. • recognize the characteristic strategies of collaborative negotiation. • in a given scenario, utilize confrontation strategies to resolve conflict

productively. • identify the essential factors of constructive confrontation. • recognize the benefits of being an accomplished mediator. • recognize the barriers to successful mediation. • given a description of mediation, identify what part(s) of the process was

not undertaken.

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• within a given scenario, demonstrate the appropriate mediation communication skills.

• match the required communication skills with the roles of a mediator. The seventh module of the course is designed to teach you how to improve your skills as an interesting and interested conversationalist and how to overcome the inherent shyness that many people experience when faced with a room full of strangers. The course also gives practical strategies for "networking" effectively in common business environments such as trade shows, conferences, or business socials.

Upon completion of this module, you will be able to: • recognize the value of social skills in the workplace. • use appropriate strategies to overcome shyness and network effectively

in a given situation. • recognize examples of shy behavior. • create a good first impression in a given business scenario. • recognize appropriate methods of making a good first impression. • identify suitable network contacts to help build a good professional

reputation. • recognize the value of being an accomplished conversationalist. • characterize the stages of the S.O.A.R. technique. • use verbal communication skills to conduct a conversation with a new

acquaintance. • recognize the basic stages of a good conversation. • use appropriate communication strategies to avoid the four common

conversational pitfalls. • characterize common conversational pitfalls. • identify the benefits of being able to network effectively. • plan a visit to a trade show after being given background information. • recognize the planning strategies necessary to network successfully at

trade shows, conventions, and similar events. • recognize the consequences of not following the rules for networking at

parties, business functions, and fundraisers. • recognize methods of networking effectively to gain potential sponsors.

You may use this manual to review and highlight important concepts as you progress through the course.

Enjoy your course!

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InterpersonalInterpersonalInterpersonalInterpersonal

CommunicationCommunicationCommunicationCommunications:s:s:s:

TheTheTheThe ProcessProcessProcessProcess The first module of the course is designed to give you an understanding of the prime causes of poor communication, and, more importantly, the skills required to minimize their impact. The following lessons are covered in this module: Lesson 1: The Communication Process Lesson 2: Using Communication Styles to Connect

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Interpersonal Communications: The Process

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LessonLessonLessonLesson 1 1 1 1

The Communication ProcessThe Communication ProcessThe Communication ProcessThe Communication Process

Initiating the Communication Cycle

Explore five factors for interpersonal communication.

nterpersonal communication is a complicated process. People use many different methods to communicate. It could be a simple method, such as a note stuck on a

computer, or a complex method, such as video conferencing. Whatever medium you choose, the underlying structure or communication cycle remains the same. For a message to be transmitted and received, it must go through five stages:

1. Aim During this stage, you decide to initiate communication with your chosen receiver. Decide what to you want to communicate and what medium you want to use.

2. Encode During this stage, you choose the words and images that you need to express or communicate your message.

3. Transmit During this stage, you send the message to the receiver physically. Use verbal and non-verbal language to communicate your meaning.

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4. Receive During this stage, your recipient physically receives your message. In face-to-face contact, the verbal and vocal content of your message is received aurally. Your body language is received visually.

5. Decode During this stage, the receiver translate what has been seen and heard. They gain a personal understanding of each message.

The communication cycle is complete when the receiver responds. In doing so, the receiver becomes a sender. This cycle continues for as long as the people involved interact with each other. Even when there is no verbal reply, receivers still respond through body language. Their facial expressions, postures, and gestures indicate how they feel about the information that they receive.

Every communication, no matter how brief, goes through these five stages. Understanding the process allows you to diagnose your own communication problems and correct them. By exerting conscious control over your execution of the communication process, you will become an effective communicator and achieve more satisfactory results.

Three Steps for Effective Communication

Learn to influence how others interpret your messages.

nterpersonal communication is never perfect. Individuals communicate differently, creating opportunities for misunderstandings. As the sender, all you can regulate is

how, what, and when you communicate. Even when both parties participate fully in the process, you cannot dictate what the other person hears, or how your message is

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interpreted. However, it is possible to influence how others interpret your messages. The sender of any message has a responsibility to be understood. This can only happen during those stages of the communication process that you perform. These stages are:

1. Aiming During this stage, you decide on the recipient, the content, and the medium for your message. Your objective should be to select the best medium, manner, and content to communicate your message accurately. People do not always aim their messages perfectly. Sometimes their intentions are not clear from the words that they choose. Or they speak in a manner that the receiver feels is inappropriate to the relationship that they have with each other. By setting out to achieve your aiming objective, you can avoid these pitfalls.

2. Encoding This stage is when you choose the words and images to express the content of your message. Your objective is to choose the words and images which will give your message the best chance of being understood. Once you have aimed your message, you will encode it, choosing the words and images that you will use to express it. Not everyone will use the same verbal and non-verbal language to express similar messages. Your choice of language is influenced by your assumptions, experiences, gender, education, and even your moods.


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3. Transmission The transmission stage is when you use verbal and non-verbal language to transmit your message. Your objective is to identify conditions that will enable the clear reception of your communication. You need to make sure that you select the best place and time to deliver your information. Try to engage your listener's attention and avoid distractions. To ensure that your messages are received clearly and accurately, you must remove as much environmental noise as possible. Transmit your messages in calm, distraction-free surroundings, at a time when receivers can devote full attention to them. Before you speak, ask yourself: Is the time right to communicate this? Will the receiver hear what I'm saying? What distractions might make communication difficult? Can they be avoided?

You risk being misunderstood if you are unsure of what you want to communicate. You also communicate less effectively if you use inappropriate language, transmit your message badly, or at the wrong time. To avoid this, you need to ensure that your communication will accomplish the three stages. If you communicate the right information, using the right words, at the right time, you can positively influence what other people hear, understand and feel about you and your communication.


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Five Categories of Feedback

Explore the five categories of feedback and their aims.

ffective communication is a two-way process. A message has not been effectively transmitted unless it is received and understood by the person it was sent

to. The only way that senders can know this has occurred is from response or feedback. Therefore, once a message has been sent, it's essential that the communication cycle is completed. To complete the cycle, the receivers must become the senders. They must encode and transmit their replies to the messages. In other words, they send feedback.

Feedback is a vital part of the communication process. People need some kind of response or reaction to identify the effect of their communication. It is the receiver's responsibility to let the sender know that the message has been understood. Responding with feedback ensures that communication is a two-way process. Misunderstanding a message and giving inappropriate feedback can cause problems. If you are not certain of the meaning of a message, you are at risk of giving feedback that could jeopardize the communication and the relationship. Feedback falls into five categories:

• Evaluative – This feedback makes a judgment of the value, validity, worth, or appropriateness of the other person's statement. It may be positive which shows approval or agreement; or negative which shows disapproval or disagreement.

• Interpretive – This type rephrases the sender's message in the receiver's own words. This shows the

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sender what the message means to the receiver. When you receive a message, your interpretation of its meaning is based on your experiences and view of the facts. Since others have different experiences, they may draw completely different conclusions. Understanding the sender's feelings and point of view will improve your communication. Always remember to avoid making assumptions when the meaning of the message is unclear.

• Supportive – This feedback is given in an attempt to assist, reassure, or encourage the sender. Although it appears positive, it does not necessarily indicate real empathy or understanding. Supportive feedback is not a response to the message; it is a response to the person.

• Probing – This type tries to gain additional information, or clarify a point. The receiver is asking the sender to continue the discussion, and elaborate on information that has already been given. Probing feedback shows that you want to increase your comprehension of what has been said. As it focuses purely on the content of the message, it does not take you closer to understanding the feelings behind the words. However, it is useful for clarification of ambiguous or vague statements, and prevents you from jumping to false conclusions.

• Understanding – This feedback helps you discover the complete meaning of a person's message. It shows the receiver's willingness to understand the feelings behind the words. It reduces defensiveness, and fosters mutual communication.


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Effective communication occurs when you listen to another person's point of view with understanding. Using feedback that addresses the feelings behind the words will enable you to become more connected and less judgmental. This skill will also lead to a valuable reduction in the errors and conflicts created by poor communication.

How to Build Rapport and Remove Barriers

Learn how to build rapport to overcome barriers.

he communication process is contextual, and its effectiveness is determined by the psychological, relational, environmental, and cultural conditions in

which it takes place. If these are not favorable, they can create barriers to good communication. Everyone's perceptions are filtered through their personal psychological "lens." These lenses are created and colored by people's experiences, values, beliefs, interests, and assumptions. How you are perceived by others affects their attitudes towards you. If those attitudes are negative, they can create barriers that reduce the quality of any communication between you. However, if rapport is present between the communicating parties, many of these barriers can be overcome. Rapport is a relationship that is harmonious and useful. To establish rapport, you can use two techniques:

• Mirroring – When you mirror, you need to align your body language to reflect that of others. Observe and mirror details such as the angle of the person's head or how they hold their hands. Pay attention to their facial expressions. When you first start to mirror, select one behavior to reflect and then gradually add others as you become more comfortable with the process. It is

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important not to make your mirroring too obvious. If full mirroring is too obvious, you should half mirror the actions of the other.

• Matching – It is responding to a person's behavior with a corresponding, but different, movement. For example, if someone is blinking rapidly, you may match the action by tapping your finger at the same rate. You can also match speech to help build rapport. Listen to the way people speak, and match the various elements of their speech. Be careful not to sound as though you are imitating as this may cause offence. Pay close attention to the speakers tone, speed or tempo, pitch, volume, rhythm, and pauses. This will help you accurately match your listener.

Good communicators shape their language to fit the people they talk to at work and at home. In this way, they build rapport, and overcome psychological barriers. If you can recognize the behavior of others, you can change such things as your body language, your voice, and use of words, to match or mirror others. By doing this, you will develop excellent conscious and unconscious rapport that positively impacts on both professional and personal relationships.


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�Job Aid

Identifying Your Communication Style

Instruction: Use this job aid to identify your preferred representational system and communication style.

How to Score:

Score 3 for the phrases that best describe you, 2 for the descriptions that are quite like you and 1 for the statements that aren't at all like you. When you have completed the test, total the score for each section. The highest of the three scores indicates your dominant representational system and your preferred communication style.

Visual

I remember information better if I write it down.

I look at the person talking to help me stay focused.

I use the way I dress to express my moods.

I doodle or jot down notes when talking on the telephone.

I respond strongly to colors and the way a room looks.

When I recall written information I see the page in my head.

I have a very good memory for people and faces.

Basic Interpersonal Communication Skills

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I make important decisions based on what looks best.

I don't need a quiet place to get my work done.

I often picture things or events in my head.

I have trouble maintaining interest during long discussions.

I hate it when people block my view.

Auditory

I pay more attention to what people say than how they look.

I make important decisions based on what sounds best.

When I read I hear the words in my head.

I often misread words from written text.

I often talk to myself either out loud or silently.

I do not follow written directions well.

I would rather listen and learn than read and learn.

I have a good memory for names.

I often listen to the TV without watching what's on the screen.

It is important for my working environment to be quiet.

I use my tone of voice to express my moods.

I enjoy catching up with friends on the phone.


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Kinesthetic

I start a project before reading the directions.

I hate to sit at my desk for long periods of time.

I make important decisions based on what feels best.

It is important for my working environment to be comfortable.

I prefer to try new things out for myself.

It's as important for my clothes to fit well as to look good.

I use my hands when describing things.

I rewrite my notes to reinforce the information.

I share my feelings with others to express my moods.

I'm not afraid to act on instinct rather than logic.

I'm very aware of my health and physical state.

When I read I run my finger along the lines of words.


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Lesson 2Lesson 2Lesson 2Lesson 2

Using CommunicUsing CommunicUsing CommunicUsing Communication Styles to ation Styles to ation Styles to ation Styles to

ConnectConnectConnectConnect

Recognizing and Working with Auditory People

Learn how to recognize auditory people and how to work with them.

eople who prefer to make sense of the world through what they hear are described as auditory.

Auditory people create their memories, perceptions, and thoughts using pictures, feelings, tastes, and smells – but they rely strongly on their sense of hearing. This preference is often evident in what they do, and how they speak – in other words, through their communication styles.

Recognizing an auditory person

To recognize an auditory person, you need to look and listen for visual, vocal, and verbal clues. Observe people's posture, body, and eye movements. Listen to how they speak and the words that they use.

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Body language

People who rely on an auditory representational system are moderate in their gestures. They tilt their heads when listening and are attentive to speech.

Research has identified that automatic and unconscious eye movements frequently accompany certain thought processes – so they are a good indicator of a person's use of a particular representational system. Auditory people often look from side to side when they are talking.

The following list provides some examples of eye movements and what they mean:

• Eyes move to their right when right-handed people are accessing imagined or created sounds. The eyes of left-handed people may move to the left.

• In right-handed people, eyes moving to their left indicate that the person is accessing remembered sounds and words. They may move to the right in left-handed people.

• The eyes move down and to the left, when a person is having an internal dialog or inner self-talk. Left-handed people may well look down and right.

Speech

In addition to body language, the way auditory people speak can reveal their preferred method of communication. The following are some common characteristics of auditory people's speech:


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• Talking out loud – because they prefer to think in sounds, and are more aware of their internal voices, it is not unusual for auditory people to repeat questions out loud. They will frequently talk to themselves audibly.

• Deliberate speech – when they speak to others, they are selective in what they say, communicating in low-pitched, rhythmic, smooth voices.

• Words and phrases – the words and phrases used by auditory people reflect the fact that they think in words and sounds. Their conversations will be full of verbs such as hear, listen, talk, and speak. (For example, I hear what you are saying, or thank you for voicing your opinion).

Dealing with auditory people

To communicate more effectively with auditory people, you can use some or all of the following strategies:

• Match their movements – you can increase rapport with auditory people, as you can with everyone else, by adopting the same kind of non-verbal behavior. Mirror and match their gestures, posture, and vocal pace and tone.

• Speak their language – you can also improve the effectiveness of your communication by matching their preferred language (By asking questions such as what have you heard? does that sound good to you?)

• Be aware of your sound – auditory people listen carefully to the words that you use, and respond to the pitch, tone, and pace of voices. They obtain as much, if not more, information from how you speak, as from


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what you say. It is important to pay attention to how you sound when you converse with auditory people.

• Inform verbally – because auditory people store information as sound, it is best to present new material to them verbally. Take time to discuss the material, and answer all of their questions. If people are auditory communicators, talk to them face to face, or call them on the telephone. Keep paperwork to a minimum.

• Repeat after them – it is also vital to take every opportunity to use their words, and repeat back what they have said. This gives you a direct connection with their thinking processes – it aids their understanding of what you say.

Dealing effectively with an auditory person is not difficult – if you do not favor the auditory style, you do not have to submerge your own communication style completely.

However, by simply including more auditory words and phrases in your conversation, you will build greater rapport. It also helps you to avoid the misunderstandings that occur between auditory people and communicators with different styles.

Recognizing and Working with Visual People

Learn how to recognize visual people and how to work with them.

he experiences of visual people originate from all of their senses. But it is what they see that makes the greatest impression. A visual person stores information

like a video recorder. T


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When visual people process their thoughts, they do so in mental pictures, which often affect how they act and how they communicate.

Recognizing a visual person

Behavior

You can recognize a visual person by looking for a predominance of certain visual clues. Visual people tend to be:

• Image-conscious – because visual people represent the world in images, they are conscious of the image that they represent to the world. They are sensitive to how they appear to others. They are well-groomed and pay attention to their posture – they will sit and stand upright.

• Attentive to detail – they are also attentive to detail and well-organized. Because of the way that they retain and access information, they frequently have excellent memories, particularly for color, and will describe things in minute detail.

• Quick-thinking, quick-talking – mental pictures are rapid, so visual people think quickly, and are usually quite dynamic. Mental pictures also contain a lot of information, so visual people often speak quickly and in high-pitched voices, stumbling over their words in their haste to get it all out.


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Language

In addition, the body language and speech of visual people is often characteristic of their dominant thought process. This is often evident in their:

• Gestures – visual people tend to use their hands a lot, frequently using exaggerated gestures. They can also be quite deliberate and exact in their actions.

• Eye movements – research suggests that people look up when required to access visual images. Visual people will obviously do this more frequently.

• Words and phrases – all communication originates in the mind. Before you speak, you encode your messages by mentally choosing the words and images to use. If people think in visual images, it affects their choice of words and impacts on their communication style.

Visual people frequently use verbs such as look, see, picture, and imagine. They make statements such as I don't see it that way, or It looks good to me. Listening for these kinds of words is another good way to identify visual people. Similarly, a prevalence of words such as fair, dark, picture, view, focus, etc., indicates a preference to process thought visually.

Working with visual people

To deal effectively with visual people, you can use some or all of the following measures:


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• Talk in pictures – you can build greater rapport and increase the effectiveness of your communication with visual people by talking in images. By creating spoken pictures, you connect directly with their thought processes, making it easier for them to decode your message. If you talk in pictures, they do not have to translate your preferred language into their own.

• Inform with images – visual people retain memories as images. Assist their retention and understanding of facts by using colorful pictures, charts, or displays to communicate more complex information. Visual people are easily bored – their minds tend to move fast, and their concentration can wander. However, their attention is captured by visual stimuli, so use this to your advantage.

• Use body language – make sure that what you give visual people supports, enhances, or clarifies your spoken message. Remember that visual people are very alert to body language. It is important for your facial expressions, movement, and posture to be right, too.

You may sometimes wonder why certain people can never seem to remember what they have been told. You may also have experienced occasions when it has been difficult to hold the interest of those same people. Now you know that it's probably because they prefer to think and talk in pictures – they have a visual communication style.

More importantly, you know the steps that you need to take to communicate with them effectively. Even if you prefer a different communication style, you can still successfully convey your ideas and thoughts to visual people. By using


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suitably visual language and stimuli to create the right mental images in their minds, you can help them to understand more.

With your greater influence, you also substantially increase the likelihood of getting what you want.

Recognizing and Relating to Kinesthetics

Learn how to recognize kinesthetic people and how to work with them.

he style of a person's communication is heavily influenced by how they prefer to take in information and process thoughts. Kinesthetic people process a

high proportion of their information about the world through what they feel – physically and emotionally.

Regardless of what they are thinking about, kinesthetic people gain information from:

• what they touch • their emotions

• their gut instincts

• their hunches

Before you can communicate effectively with kinesthetic people, you must be able to identify that this is their preferred style.

Recognizing a kinesthetic person

To identify someone with the kinesthetic style, look out for certain visual, behavioral, and verbal signs.

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• Tactile – their reliance on the sense of touch means that kinesthetics are very tactile people, who respond positively to physical contact. They are comfortable being close to others.

• Slow-moving, slow-talking – kinesthetics have to feel what is going on, and this requires their whole attention. Their speech is therefore often slow and deliberate. There will be frequent pauses in the flow of their conversations, as they try to get in touch with how they feel about the subjects under discussion. Similarly, they tend to move about frequently but slowly, and their posture is often slumped.

• Emotional props – kinesthetic people may display their emotional awareness by keeping personal items, such as family photographs, in their offices or workspaces.

• Eye movements – when responding to questions, or making comments, kinesthetic people will often look at the floor. They are accessing the emotion involved in the statement or question. For example, if you ask a kinesthetic person what type of food do you really enjoy?, that person is likely to look down and to his or her left to check how he or she feels about several dishes, to determine which is his or her favorite.

• Words and phrases – the communication of kinesthetic people is based primarily on what they are most conscious of – their physical sensations and emotional feelings. This sensitivity to temperature, pressure, texture, moisture, pain, and pleasure will be reflected in their use of words such as cool, hot, warm, and heavy.


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They will also choose action-oriented verbs such as touch, run, hold, and move. They demonstrate a heightened awareness of their emotional feelings through words such as: feel, hunch, know, and instinct.

Working with kinesthetic people

Once you have convinced yourself that a person is kinesthetic, you will want to know how to build an effective rapport with him or her. You may try some or all of the strategies below:

• Talk about your feelings – kinesthetic people rely very much on their intuition, or gut feelings. Before they give you their trust, they need to feel that it is all right to do so. They frequently talk openly about their feelings, and they respond positively to people who do likewise. If you rarely talk about your feelings, kinesthetics may complain that you are insensitive.

• Touch – take every opportunity to make appropriate physical contact with kinesthetics. A warm handshake or an encouraging pat on the shoulder would be appropriate. This reinforces trust.

• Explain through action – when presenting new information, use hands on activities, as kinesthetic people obtain a lot of information from the sense of touch.

• Go slow – be careful not to go too fast when making presentations to kinesthetic people, because they are easily frustrated by the speed at which some people operate. Give them time to take their own notes. The act of writing the words will help them to remember and will reinforce the information.


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Relying as they do on their instincts and hunches, kinesthetics are quick to judge whether they like or dislike someone. It is, therefore, important to establish rapport with them quickly. Using their preferred communication style is a good way to achieve this.

Rapport is essential in making the vital emotional connection with kinesthetic people. It is the critical factor if you want to have a positive influence on them. By matching their communication styles, you can join them in their world. Then you can establish a climate of mutual trust and respect.


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�Job Aid

The Characteristics of Communication Styles – Auditory

Instruction: Use this job aid to people with an auditory communication style.

People with an auditory communication style

• are very moderate in their gestures

• are very attentive to speech and often tilt their heads when listening

• often look from side to side when speaking or thinking - left when remembering, right when imagining

• repeat questions out loud and frequently talk to themselves

• speak in low-pitched, rhythmic, smooth voices

• are selective in the words they use, and what they say

• use sound-oriented verbs such as hear, listen, talk, speak, and shout

• remember verbal sequences easily

• learn by listening


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�Job Aid

The Characteristics of Communication Styles – Visual

Instruction: Use this job aid to people with a visual communication style.

People with a visual communication style

• use their hands a lot and often accompany what they say with exaggerated gestures

• pay attention to their posture and appearance

• are often well organized

• speak quickly and in high pitched voices

• have excellent memories and will describe things in minute detail

• use sight-oriented verbs such as look, see, picture, and imagine

• often look up when speaking - up and left when remembering, up and right when imagining

• think quickly and are easily bored

• retain information as mental images


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�Job Aid

The Characteristics of Communication Styles – Kinesthetic

Instruction: Use this job aid to people with a kinesthetic communication style.

People with a kinesthetic communication style

• are very tactile and comfortable being close to others

• are responsive to physical contact

• move and speak slowly and deliberately

• pause frequently during conversation to "get in touch" with their feelings

• will often look down towards the floor when speaking

• rely very much on their "intuition" or "gut feelings"

• use action-oriented verbs such as touch, run, hold, and move

• show interest in how others feel and are willing to talk openly about their own feelings

• don't like to be still for too long and frequently need to stand up and move around

• learn by being "hands on" or reinforce their ability to remember information by writing it down

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The Mechanics of The Mechanics of The Mechanics of The Mechanics of

CommunicatingCommunicatingCommunicatingCommunicating

EffectivelyEffectivelyEffectivelyEffectively The second module of the course is designed to help you improve the quality of your three vital communication tools- your voice, your ability to listen, and your body language. This course explains how to develop a voice that people want to listen to, and gives some valuable remedies to use to make your speaking voice the best it can be. In this course you will be given strategies to assist you to improve your listening skills and in doing so to make solid connections with those you communicate with. Finally, this course will introduce you to the "silent" language of the body, giving you the ability to recognize when there is conflict between what is being said and a person's true feelings. The following lessons are covered in this module: Lesson 1: How Do You Sound? Lesson 2: Active and Effective Listening Lesson 3: Speaking the Silent Language

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How Do You Sound?How Do You Sound?How Do You Sound?How Do You Sound?

Developing an Effective VOICE

our voice is a vital communication tool. You use your voice constantly to express thoughts, feelings, ideas and hopes, but it is easy to take it for granted.

Speech is a complex process. Your lungs, windpipe, voice box, throat, tongue, soft palate, and lips all work together to produce your words.

The vibrating column of air coming from your vocal chords is shaped into speech sounds by your lips, tongue, soft palate, throat, jaw, and other facial muscles. These are called your moveable articulators.

As a communicator, you must be sensitive to the influence that the quality of your voice will have on the receiver's interpretation of your message. Your objective is to speak with the right VOICE.

• V is for volume

• O is for output rate

• I is for inflection

• C is for clarity

• E is for emphasis

Y

The Mechanics of Communicating Effectively

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The strength or loudness of your voice is reliant on the amount of air or breath your lungs produce during the respiration stage. And the rate at which your vocal chords vibrate during the phonation stage controls the pitch of your voice.

The output rate or speed of speech is another important aspect of speech. Rapid speech is sometimes associated with knowledge and credibility. However, if you speak too quickly, listeners can't keep up. In contrast, speaking too slowly gives your listeners the impression that you are unsure of your message. They are also more likely to be distracted by other things as their minds have time to wander.

Pitch, or the highness or lowness of your voice, is one of the most difficult aspects to control. A high-pitched voice may get attention, but it is irritating and difficult to listen to for any length of time. People prefer lower-pitched voices, just as they prefer the tones of a church organ to the shriek of a fire siren. By varying your pitch, you can add inflection to your voice. Inflection gives variety and emphasis to the spoken word.

When you speak in a monotone, without inflection, you do not express the emotion behind your message and are unlikely to engage or maintain the listener's full interest.

Inflection also adds meaning. The same words, said with different inflection, can mean very different things.


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The clarity of your words is determined at the articulation stage by the movement of your articulators. People with poor articulation skills produce sounds, syllables, and words incorrectly. Sometimes this is caused by physical deformities that can be professionally treated, but it is more often the result of incorrect pronunciation or sloppy enunciation.

Pronunciation has to do with saying a word the way a dictionary tells you it should be said. Sometimes words are pronounced incorrectly because you aren't familiar with the word, or you may have learned to pronounce it incorrectly.

Enunciation has to do with saying all the sounds in a word clearly by moving your tongue and lips fully.

• Truncate - One type of enunciation error stems from truncating words or dropping the ends of words, especially "g," "ing," "ed," "d," or "t." For example, "huntin', shootin', 'n fishin'" instead of "hunting, shooting, and fishing."

• Replace - Other times, you might replace sharp "t" sounds in the middle of words, with a softer "d" sound because it requires less effort. For example, "better" might become "bedder."

• Run together - Another cause of poor enunciation is running words together. "Whadidjagit?" and "Wuzzup?" look strange when written but are common incorrect enunciations of "What did you get?" and "What's up?"

Poor enunciation and incorrect pronunciation can prevent listeners from understanding you. They can also cause listeners to focus on your manner of speaking rather than your words and their meaning. Poor enunciation and


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incorrect pronunciation can be interpreted as signs of laziness, or even ignorance.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "A man's style is his mind's voice. Wooden minds, wooden voices." Because your manner of speaking may be undermining your image and your message, you must become aware of your VOICE. By studying your volume, output rate, inflection, clarity, and enunciation, you can begin to develop a better manner of speaking, one more in keeping with the kind of image and message you want to project.

Methods for Improving Your Voice

he best communicators know they must use their voices to hold their listeners' interest and add impact to their messages. You may have pearls of wisdom to

share, but if no one is listening, they will be wasted. An inability to engage the attention of others for any length of time may not be because of what you are saying, but instead because of how you are saying it.

A good speaking voice is clear, enjoyable, and convincing. Not everyone is born with a voice with these qualities, but they can be developed by focusing on the volume, speed, inflection and clarity of your voice.

1. Volume – Some people talk too softly, others too loudly. The volume of your voice should be dictated by the emotional and physical circumstances in which your conversation takes place.

2. Speed – Some people talk very quickly, others very slowly. Although speaking more quickly is associated

T


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with confidence, speaking too quickly can prevent people from understanding what you are saying.

3. Inflection – People who don't use varying pitch to add inflection have monotone voices that are much less expressive and interesting than those who do. Inflection also gives additional meaning to your words.

4. Clarity – Poor articulation, in the form of incorrect pronunciation or sloppy enunciation, may take less effort but can have an adverse effect on your professional image.

If you have a poor speaking voice, it can be a big barrier to the success of your interpersonal communication. Fortunately, with the right exercises, voices can be reshaped, toned, and kept in good condition. Appropriate vocal exercises will enable you to improve and maintain correct volume, intonation, pitch, and articulation.

The ability to control the pressure and flow of air is a large part of developing an appealing voice. Air is crucial to voice production and volume. It is the flow of air through the vocal tract that generates sound. Therefore, most people see immediate results when they improve their breathing.

Using your chest muscles, instead of your diaphragm, results in shallow breathing and a potentially weak voice. The good news is you don't have to learn how to use your diaphragm because you can already do it! You were born breathing that way, and you breathe that way naturally when you sleep.


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Diaphragmatic breathing is the best method for producing sufficient expiratory force to speak. It supports your voice with a column of air that extends from your diaphragm to your mouth.

As well as generating enough breath to talk at an acceptable volume, your goal is to have sufficient breath to be capable of vocal inflection. A monotone voice is usually due to a lack of awareness of how you sound.

You can increase awareness and improve inflection by recording yourself reading aloud from a book, newspaper, or magazine. Play it back and evaluate your performance. Repeat the exercise, making the necessary adjustments. Each time you do this, you should hear marked improvement.

People prefer to listen to lower-pitched voices. Opening your mouth wider when you speak will add depth to your voice. Be careful not to push your words out through your teeth like ventriloquists do – that's why their dummies talk in high-pitched voices. Their objective is to prevent their lips from moving. Your objective is to produce a voice that people want to listen to.

Also, avoid eating, chewing, or smoking while you are speaking. These activities make it difficult for you to open your mouth, and this will force the pitch of your voice to go up. These activities also make it hard to keep your lips moving and articulate your words correctly.


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A failure to articulate or enunciate properly causes your words to be slurred and indistinct. Sloppy enunciation means you don't say all the sounds in a word clearly and often drop the endings and the final consonants.

At the same time, don't overdo your articulation. Over-enunciation sounds stilted and false, and makes the speaker appear affected. The important thing is getting your words right, even if you have to speak at a slightly slower rate to do so.

To improve your articulation, practice repeating the following sentences or "tongue twisters."

• eleven benevolent elephants

• girl gargoyle, guy gargoyle

• rubber baby buggy bumpers

• she stood on the balcony inexplicably mimicking him hiccupping and welcoming him in

One easy yet practical method of improving inflection, vocal range, and articulation is to sing. Depending on your confidence, you might prefer to do this in private, perhaps when you're alone in the shower or in the car. See how well you can carry a tune. Control phrasing and enunciate lyrics while using proper diaphragmatic breathing.

Adopting better breathing and enunciation techniques help you to slow down if you talk too quickly. The average rate of speech for English speakers in the United States is about 150 words per minute.


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When you speak very rapidly, syllables and words run together without the usual pauses, making it difficult or impossible for the listener to understand what is being said.

Your voice can be put under strain in the workplace. Some jobs require you to talk most of the day without a break. Other jobs are undertaken in workplaces where the environmental conditions have an adverse effect on the vocal mechanism itself.

Your vocal chords need plenty of moisture to work efficiently. It's important to avoid becoming dehydrated by working in very dry environments. If you have to work in this type of situation, be sure to drink plenty of water.

Dusty environments often contain allergens that can adversely affect your throat and upper respiratory tract. As you know, a sore throat has an immediate impact on your voice.

Cigarette smoke, whether it's your own or secondary, is another drying agent. If you smoke, it would be beneficial to your voice if you quit. If you don't smoke, avoid spending too much time in a smoky atmosphere.

A cold or upper respiratory tract viral infection is a common cause of laryngitis or temporary voice loss. Keep yourself warm and you should be able to avoid becoming hoarse.

Many people injure their voices by working them too hard. Don't try to compete against the sounds of loud machinery, loud music, or crowd noise.


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It is important to be aware of how physical conditions impact your voice and take the necessary steps to avert temporary or even permanent damage. Remember, although your voice can be improved, it cannot be replaced. A healthy voice needs plenty of moisture so avoid agents that dehydrate the body, such as alcohol and caffeine, and drink plenty of water.

Stress can affect your voice. When you are feeling tense or nervous, your throat muscles stiffen, raising the pitch of your voice, and making it difficult for you to sound relaxed.

Inhale deeply through your nose, and hold your breath for three to five seconds. Now, slowly exhale through the mouth until your lungs have completely emptied. Repeat until the tenseness in your shoulders and neck subsides.

Voice development is not restricted to actors, singers, and public speakers. Many people realize that their voices are important to their professional success – and that they don't have to live with the voices they were born with.

With the proper practice, everyone is capable of developing a resonant and appealing voice. Once you own these vocal skills, you will command greater respect, and people will want to listen to you.

The Benefits of a Well-placed Pause

t is not just what you say and how you say it that has an impact on the success of your interpersonal communication. Sometimes, not saying anything can

improve the delivery of your message.

I


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Silent pauses are a very versatile and useful communication tool. Pauses can be used deliberately to express feelings such as: anger, confusion, disapproval, or disagreement. A pause can also be used to gain, direct, or maintain the listener's attention.

Silent pauses

• build suspense

• emphasize particular elements of your spoken message

• indicate that you are about to change the subject

• shape your vocal delivery

Pauses can be used to make your voice sound more attractive and thereby sustain the listeners' attention and interest. Pauses shape the rhythm of your speech and can, when executed well, enhance a speaking voice by adding an almost musical quality to it.

Pausing appropriately as you speak will prevent you from talking too fast. When you talk at an agreeable speed, the reception of your message is improved because your listener has time to take in and decode what you have said.

A pause can be used to signal that you are about to change the subject. This prepares listeners for the change so they have a better chance of putting what they are about to hear in the right context.

Even when people listen to what you say, they don't take in and remember every word. You can use silence to direct their attention to the more important part of your spoken message and emphasize a particular point.


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A brief pause before a word, a point, or a phrase acts as a verbal "space" and isolates the item from what has gone before, making it stand out.

Pauses also help the listener commit multiple items to memory by preventing the details from running into one convoluted and complex sentence.

Pauses should always be used before the point that you want to highlight, and not after. This is because the listener focuses more intently on the first thing that you say after a pause than on anything that has gone before.

People speak at a rate of 100 to 175 words per minute, but they listen at a rate of between 600 and 800 words per minute. So it's easy for their minds to wander occasionally. When people aren't completely engaged in the conversation, they hear your voice as a rhythmic background hum. A longer pause that disrupts this rhythm can help you get their attention again. When used this way, silence can be employed to regain attention.

There is an old saying that "silence is golden." It certainly can be when it is used effectively to enhance your communication and improve the listener's understanding of your message.


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�Job Aid

V.O.I.C.E. – The Basics of Good Speaking

Instruction: Use this job aid to remind yourself of the basics of good speaking.

• V – volume – Can the listener hear what you are saying? Is the volume of your voice appropriate for the situation? Are you often accused of speaking too softly or too loudly?

• O – output rate – How quickly do you talk? Do you speak so fast that all the words run together or is what you say punctuated by frequent pauses and hesitations?

• I – inflection – Does your voice accurately convey the mood and feelings behind your message? Is there variety in the pitch and tone of your voice or do you speak in a monotone?

• C – clarity – Are your words clear enough to be understood by the listener? Do you say the whole word or only part of it? Is your pronunciation of the words you are using correct?

• E – emphasis – Do you use the volume, speed, inflection, and rhythm of your voice to accentuate the more important elements of your message? Does the way you use your voice make it easier for the listener to prioritize the content of your message?


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�Job Aid

A Healthy Voice

Instruction: Use this job aid to keep a clear, strong voice and avoid hoarseness. Use these breathing and relaxation exercises and follow the advice on maintaining vocal health.

Do

Breathing exercises

Your muscles need warming up before strenuous exercise and your voice needs to be warmed up before you make intensive use of it.

• Center your body and relax. Breathe deeply but without straining. Consciously make sure that your breath goes as deeply down your body as you can, not just into the top of your lungs.

• Bend to one side from the waist and breathe deeply: feel the ribcage opening. Repeat on the other side.

• Gently hug yourself across the chest and breathe deeply. Feel the ribcage expand.

• Take a deep breath: press your diaphragm and breathe out saying simultaneously: "Ha, ha, ha. Hee, hee, hee. Ho, ho, ho."


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• Breathe in and count "one" and then breathe out again. Breathe in and count "one, two", then breathe out. Repeat this until you reach ten.

Relaxation exercises

Follow these exercises to calm you down, and help your voice to be clear and strong:

• move both your shoulders in a circular motion three times and then relax

• move each arm in a circular motion and then relax

• lift your shoulders as high as you can without straining, then drop them back into position

• drop your head onto your chest and gently massage the back of your neck

• tilt your head slowly and gently from side to side

• consciously unclench your jaw and relax all of its muscles

• massage all your facial muscles with your fingers

• tighten your facial muscles and then relax

• open your mouth as wide as possible, then close it

• smile broadly, then open your mouth wide

Hydrate

Drink plenty of water. Liquids are vital to hydrate dry vocal chords, especially in air conditioned or heated buildings.


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Avoid

• Clearing your throat too frequently or harshly – The more you clear the mucous, the more mucous you'll have. The vocal cords are mucous membranes and need the mucous to moisturize and protect them.

• Using throat lozenges with menthol – The "coolness" of the menthol is irritating to the membranes of your vocal chords. Herbal drops work well, or better yet, have a lemon drop and create your own saliva. It's the natural healing "elixir" of the voice.

• Whispering – If you find your voice becoming tired and weak, just relax, and speak as normally as you can. Whispering causes more vocal damage than speaking in a normal voice.

• Caffeine – Your vocal chords need moisture – caffeine dehydrates.

• Dry, dusty and smoky environments – Your vocal chords need moisture, and that can become dehydrated if you work in very dry, dusty or smoky environments. If you have to work in this type of situation, be sure to drink plenty of water. Dusty environments often also contain allergens that can adversely affect your throat and upper respiratory tract, and cigarette smoke, whether it's your own or secondary, is another drying agent.


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�Learning Aid

Effective Use of Pauses

Instruction: Use this learning aid as a demonstration of how pauses can be used to good effect.

Presentation brief

As a senior manager, you must give a short presentation about some forthcoming changes. In your speech, you want to emphasize the reason for the introduction of new quality procedures and their importance. You also want to pass on some specific details. You need the staff to understand

• how essential these new procedures will be in retaining business and customers

• the reason why quality is important to both the company and its customers

• which areas of the business will be affected

• the need for complete cooperation across the board

• when the changes will take effect

Possible presentation style

The words in parentheses denote pauses, and the reasons for them.


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"At BBF we understand that for (emphasis) our customers to be able to satisfy (emphasis) their customers, they have to know they can depend on us for (emphasis) quality products, backed up by a (emphasis) quality service. That is why from (aid memory) March 1st we are introducing new quality procedures. Initially, there will be a lot to do and it will need everyone's (emphasis) full cooperation to facilitate a smooth transition. These new procedures will have an impact in all areas of the company but particularly in (aid memory) production , (aid memory) sales administration , (aid memory) billing , (aid memory) customer service , and (aid memory) logistics . However, I know I can rely on (emphasis) all of you to give this your (emphasis) total support. (change subject) While I have you here, I'd also like to take the opportunity to answer any questions you may have about the forthcoming refurbishment of our corporate headquarters."


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Active and Effective ListeningActive and Effective ListeningActive and Effective ListeningActive and Effective Listening

Understanding the Seven Levels of Listening

istening is a vital part of the interpersonal communication process, and it is critical to both personal and business relationships.

Most people are born with the ability to hear, but listening is a skill that has to be learned. Hearing is simply the act of perceiving sound by the ear. Listening requires concentration to enable your brain to process the meaning of words and sentences.

Listening is a process that involves seven stages:

1. During the first stage, you receive the "raw" sound. This will include all the background sounds around you.

2. During the second stage, your mind selects the auditory stimuli on which you will concentrate and filters out any other sounds.

3. During stage three, you focus your attention on your chosen auditory stimuli.

4. Stage four involves assigning meaning to what you are hearing.

5. Suring the fifth stage, you evaluate what you are hearing, and decide what to do with the information.

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6. Stage six involves storing what you are hearing in your memory bank.

7. During stage seven, you actively respond to what you are hearing or have heard.

Now you can understand how it is possible to "hear" a conversation, but have no recollection of what was said – no matter how hard you tried. Mentally, you didn't progress past stage one.

There are four levels of listening effectiveness: hearing, passive, attentive, and active. The least effective is hearing. The most effective is active. Your listening level is determined by how far along the 7-stage listening process you progress and how mentally engaged you are at the various stages.

In terms of communicating, hearing can hardly be considered as listening at all. Although you physically receive the auditory signals, nothing registers in your conscious mind.

Listening only truly begins once your mind is engaged in the process. This happens when you make a conscious selection of the auditory stimulus on which you intend to concentrate. At that stage of the process, you move up to the next level of effectiveness – passive listening. When you listen passively, you register the auditory signals, but you are not fully mentally and physically engaged in the conversation. You therefore absorb very little information and use very little energy. Passive listening is really little more than hearing.


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Although you focus on specific auditory input, your mental involvement ends there. Most of the information you acquire is lost within a couple of hours. In fact, you can lose it within a few seconds, such as when you forget the name of the person to whom you have just been introduced.

Attentive listening commences as you move completely into the attending stage and start to listen with the intention of understanding. You do listen and, at a superficial level, understand the words spoken. However, you don't assign real meaning to them.

You won't "take in" everything you are told. What you do absorb is put in your short-term memory, and 80 percent of it will be lost within five days. You may be able to repeat most of the words right after you hear them. However, you won't think about what they meant until later, if at all.

Active listening is the most effective. When you listen actively, you do so with the objective of understanding the full meaning of the message and responding appropriately. You are totally focused on the speaker and his message.

Active listening requires you to:

• maintain conscious awareness throughout the conversation

• evaluate the information received

• internalize the parts you regard as important

• make an appropriate response

To listen at the most effective level, you have to be motivated and willing to make the effort to overcome the


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various barriers that prevent you from being totally focused on the speaker and her message.

When you are talking to someone, you can often tell from certain physical behaviors at what level he or she is listening. Even when people act as if they are really listening to you, certain telltale signs can give them away. For example, if you speak to someone who is listening at the hearing level, you will likely be ignored. The hearing listener is not connected to you or what you say.

When people listen passively, they are not really paying attention. However, they pretend they are by occasionally grunting or making a similar sound to make you think you are being heard. They probably aren't even looking at you, and if they do, it is with a glazed or unfocused expression. If you were to ask them to repeat what you had just said, they would have a very hard time. The passive listener isn't really connected to the conversation at all.

People who are listening attentively believe they are listening and will send physical signals of attention. Attentive listeners use supporting body language, such as leaning toward the speaker, nodding, and making eye contact.

Despite this apparent attention, they frequently fade in and out of the conversation as they move back to the passive level. Sometimes, they will become focused on a specific point you have made but will then ignore other parts of what is being said.

Later, they may be able to repeat what you said, but they have not truly understood what you meant. In some


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respects, the attentive listener is more connected to the speaker than to the message.

Active listeners are easy to spot by the coherent responses they make to what you say. These responses usually convey their intention to understand the full meaning of your message. Active listening may raise the blood pressure and the pulse rate, and may even result in an increase in perspiration. So listeners at the active level may show signs of physical exertion or tiredness while having an extended or detailed discussion.

Miscommunication and misunderstanding are more likely to occur when someone listens at the lower levels. To really listen, you need to be motivated to understand what is communicated and be prepared to focus your whole attention on the speaker's verbal and non-verbal messages. By striving to progress through the full listening process, the quality of your interpersonal communication will improve significantly.

The Most Common Obstacles to Listening

istening is more than just keeping quiet while the other person talks. Better listening requires you to make both mental and physical effort. It also requires you to

concentrate on the other person rather than on yourself. It is because of these requirements that so few people listen successfully.

True understanding in interpersonal communication can only be achieved by listening at the very highest level. This requires the motivation to be totally focused on the speaker and the message.

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External conditions, such as a noisy environment, can hinder or prevent you from listening effectively. However, most barriers to good listening are created within the listener. Daydreaming, dress rehearsal, "When is it my turn," information overload, aim to please, and tunnel listening are examples of psychological states which present a barrier to good listening.

• Daydreaming – You are not listening because you have other things not related to the current conversation on your mind. Whatever you are concentrating on, it is not this discussion.

• Dress rehearsal – You don't listen because you are busy thinking about what you are going to say next. You may even look interested, but you have heard very little, if anything, of what has been said.

• "When is it my turn?" – You are not listening because you are just waiting for an opportunity to speak. The only thing you are listening for is a break in the conversation, one that is long enough for you to jump in with your opinion.

• Information overload – You are not listening because you decide the information is too difficult to comprehend or too boring. You will switch on again when you are interested in what is being said.

• Aim to please – You want to create a favorable impression with the speaker, so you nod and make "agreeing" noises. Your objective is not to listen, but to demonstrate support or agreement.

• Tunnel listening – You are listening, but only to what you want to hear. Emotional filters prevent you from


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hearing what you do not want to hear, so you can focus your attention only on what pleases you.

These psychological barriers influence how much attention you focus on the communication, and they dictate how you respond.

To listen well, you must delay thinking your own thoughts until the speaker has finished communicating. You must also strive to understand the speaker's meaning. Unfortunately, most people listen with the intent to respond and not with the objective to understand.

A negative prejudgment about the speaker or message affects your answer. You use your response to fulfill your agenda for the exchange. You have no need to listen because you know what you want to happen, regardless of what he says. Your replies indicate your unwillingness to understand the true meaning of the words.

When you reply in this way, your focus is on finding things with which to disagree. This communication model resembles that of the courtroom. You take what the other person says and try to disprove it.

People can be irritated by your attempts to shift the conversation your way. They may see it as a lack of respect or an indication that you think the subject is unimportant. This kind of reply will frequently cause speakers to become indignant and stick religiously to their point of view, therefore not listening to you at all.

Listening to others can be the most fundamental and powerful communication tool of all. When you commit to stop


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talking and begin to really listen to other people, your interactions become easier, communication problems are virtually eliminated, and conflict is greatly reduced.

Overcoming Self-made Barriers to Listening

tephen Covey, author of the best seller, "The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People," teaches that you can listen well only when you seek first to understand,

then to be understood. Poor listening is commonly caused by not focusing on the speaker and his message and instead, focusing on:

• yourself

• your emotions and opinions

• your own thoughts

• your reply

• other distractions

If you frequently find yourself concentrating on getting your opportunity to talk, interrupting, or wanting to change the subject, then it is unlikely you are listening attentively to what you are being told.

Active listeners speak 30 percent of the time and listen 70 percent of the time. If you interrupt or dominate a conversation, this means that you are not listening effectively. You can overcome this tendency by listening to the whole message without interrupting, even if you don't agree with or approve of it. Wait to express your experience or point of view, and resist the temptation to speak for the sake of saying something. Keep in mind, the only acceptable reason to interject is to clarify or confirm what has been said.

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If you must talk when speakers are sharing something important, use short responses. Longer responses may cause the speaker to become impatient or divert him from his original train of thought.

Sometimes you may not listen because you are busy rehearsing your reply or thinking or day dreaming about an unrelated subject. If this is a common occurrence, then you need to listen with a purpose.

Be motivated to listen by setting a goal. It may be to gain information, obtain directions or instructions, solve problems, or understand how another person feels. Improve your ability to focus on what is being said by treating listening as a challenge. Mentally structure and summarize the verbal content of the communicated message by: indexing, sequencing, and comparing.

• Indexing – is the process of mentally noting the key points or ideas being discussed, together with their associated and supporting points and items.

• Sequencing – is listening for order or priority. Sometimes the order of what you are being told is important or even crucial.

• Comparing – is concentrating on the points being made, and discriminating between fact and theory, positive and negative, advantages and disadvantages. Then, you can evaluate the ideas, options, attitudes, facts, feelings, and beliefs.

To listen well, you must overcome any tendency to rehearse your response or allow your attention to drift. Give speakers your undivided attention. Look them in the eye when they


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are speaking – active listeners maintain eye contact for five seconds or more. Focus on the speaker, and only the speaker. Ignore internal distractions, such as your own thoughts, and external disruptions, such as telephones ringing and people talking.

Another barrier to listening is an emotional response. When you react too emotionally, you tend to hear what you want to hear – not what is actually being said. You may focus on one comment out of context. You may only listen to some of what the other person says, filtering out the parts that don't confirm your own views and opinions. Another temptation is to disengage mentally because you judge what the other person is saying or will say is irrelevant, illogical, or inconsistent. You can prevent this from happening by remaining neutral, objective, and open-minded.

Stay in tune with your own reactions and watch out for anger, boredom, or disinterest. Be aware of your biases and emotional triggers. For example, such things as a speaker's bad grammar, limited vocabulary, or accent might irritate you. Your awareness helps you control, or preferably eliminate, your emotional reactions, allowing you to concentrate on the speaker's message and not on the delivery.

As a good listener, your behavior will demonstrate your intention to understand. Acknowledge speakers both verbally and non-verbally, and encourage them to continue by using your responses and body language to demonstrate your interest and attention. This requires you to:

• adopt an open, relaxed posture


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• face the other party, square on

• lean slightly towards the other person

• ask questions to confirm and clarify what is being said

Learning to overcome the self-made barriers to listening will help you to improve your ability to communicate. Listening more attentively to others will help you come to understand the people around you. Effective listening enables better collaboration and cooperation by helping to eliminate miscommunications and subsequent errors and mistakes. When both parties listen well, they are more likely to work together successfully and make sure that everyone's needs are met.


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�Job Aid

Obstacles to Effective Listening

Instruction: Use this job aid to identify common obstacles to effective listening.

Here are given examples of ineffective listening to help you explore why you are not attentive in different situations.

Day dreaming You're thinking about something else entirely.

Dress rehearsal You're too busy practicing what you're going to say next. You may even look interested – but you have heard very little, if anything, of what you have been told.

When is it my turn? You're just waiting for an opportunity to speak. The only thing you're listening for is a short break in the conversation that allows you to interrupt. You don't hear the whole message. You hear just enough to be reminded of something related to you and then you interrupt with your story (identifying) or make an assumption about what the problem is and then interrupt with your solution (instant solution).

Information overload You decide the information is too difficult to comprehend or


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too boring. You'll switch on again when you're interested in what's being said.

Aim to please You want to create a favorable impression with the speaker so you nod and make "agreeing" noises. Your objective is not to listen but to demonstrate support or agreement.

Tunnel listening You don't hear the whole message. Your psychological barriers filter out what you don't want to hear, and you focus your attention on only what pleases you.

Negative prejudgment You already have your own agenda for the exchange. You see no need to listen to the speaker because you know what you want to happen, regardless of what the speaker says and you use your responses to fulfill it. Your replies indicate your unwillingness to understand the true meaning behind the words. There are three common response types.

• Sparring Your focus is on finding things with which to disagree. This communication model resembles that of the courtroom. You take what the other person says and try to disprove it.

• Being right You want to avoid listening to criticism. You go to great lengths to avoid being wrong. You may twist the facts, accuse or make excuses. This communication resembles a debate. You have your point of view and you stick to it.


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• Derailing You don't allow the conversation to develop around the other person's attempts to verbalize the whole message.


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�Learning Aid

A Three-way Conversation

Instruction: Use this job aid follow the conversation between co-workers Sue and Alice, and the discussion between Sue and her client, Bob Nelson.

Sue: Hello. Can I speak to Bob Nelson, please?

Bob: Bob Nelson speaking.

Sue : It's Sue Craig from BBX. I've been asked to give you a call. I understand you've had some problems.

Bob: That's right. We've been using your sealing compound for several months now and haven't had any problems with it at all. But recently, we've found that it's taking forever to set. And even when it does set, there's evidence of powdering around the seal. It just doesn't make sense – I don't understand what's going on.

Sue: Don't worry, Bob. It's probably something very simple. Can you give me some of the details of how it's being used and how it's being stored?

Bob: As far as I know, we've been mixing it according to the instructions we were given. And we keep the tubs in the warehouse as we do all....


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Sue: (presses the mute button and says to Alice) What did you want?

Bob: ....our other compounds. We're still using the stock we had delivered in November. But that's less than two months ago.

Sue: (releases mute button and says into phone) Hmmm...warehouse....November ...two months.

Bob: That's right. Anyhow, we've continued to use it, but now we're not sure how strong these seals are likely to be. And we'd like to know the best way to check them without jeopardizing the pipework.

Alice: (to Sue) Pardon? Are you talking to me.

Sue: (presses mute button again and asks Alice) What do you want?

Alice: The Porter file.

Bob: So how do we avoid that?

Sue: Um, sorry, Bob. Avoid what?

Bob: How do we test the seals and avoid damaging the pipework?


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Speaking the Silent LanguageSpeaking the Silent LanguageSpeaking the Silent LanguageSpeaking the Silent Language

Recognizing Non-verbal Messages

eople communicate both verbally and non-verbally. Albert Mehrabian's research into communication determined that a significant amount of meaning is

transferred through the non-verbal aspects of communication. To fully understand what people are saying, you must be skilled at decoding both verbal and non-verbal messages.

Non-verbal communication is comprised of:

• paralanguage – the vocal part of speech and its nuances

• kinesics – static and dynamic use of the body in communication

• proxemics – spatial relationships and perception of space

Unlike verbal communication and paralanguage, most body language is automatic. Even the pupils of your eyes communicate. When you are excited or particularly interested in something, the pupils of your eyes increase in size.

That's why people obtain so much of the meaning of communicated messages from body language. Body

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language is considered a much more reliable indicator of a person's true feelings than the words they use.

More than half of the understanding of interpersonal communication is generated by people's body language, so it is useful to know what behaviors you should observe in others and be aware of yourself.

Humans are highly territorial as a species, but most humans aren't aware of this until their personal space is invaded. The distance you place between yourself and another person conveys a non-verbal message.

How you orient yourself in relation to other people when you interact with them can often indicate your general disposition towards them. You may stand face-to-face, side-by-side, or even back-to-back.

Shaking hands, touching, holding, embracing, pushing, or patting on the back, all convey messages. These examples of physical contact reflect the presence – or absence – of elements of intimacy or attraction.

A person's posture also communicates feelings. It is not whether someone is sitting, standing, or lying down that tells the story. The message comes from whether they are slouched or standing straight, or have their arms folded, or have their legs crossed.

The dynamic features of body language are the ones that people are usually more aware of. As the word suggests, these factors involve movement of a person's: face, eyes, body, hands and arms.


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Facial expressions openly display the attitude of the communicator. Movement of the mouth, lips, brows, and forehead can all convey information about how a person is feeling. Facial expressions continually change during interaction and are monitored instinctively and constantly by the recipient.

The eyes can convey many emotions, so eye contact is a major feature of social communication. Much valuable insight into a person's emotional state can be gained by observing the frequency and the length of eye contact. Loss of eye contact can suggest disinterest or boredom, so it can signal when to continue talking and when to stop. Sustained eye contact can suggest attraction or aversion, so it is a good indicator of a person's reaction.

The direction in which people move their body can convey information about how they are feeling. Whether the meaning is positive or negative depends on if the movement is forward or backwards, up and down, or side to side.

Because most people use hand and arm movements or gestures regularly when talking, these are some of the most frequently observed examples of body language. But it is important not to "read" too much into individual gestures. You should interpret these individual gestures in the same way as you deal with words in a sentence – the meaning only becomes clear when you put all of the gestures, or words, together.

Increased awareness of your own body language and that of others can make you a more perceptive communicator. This will have a positive influence on your approach to all your relationships, both personal and professional.


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Interpreting Four Modes of Non-verbal Expression

ody language provides important insights into the meaning behind a person's words. A person's posture and facial expressions tell you how they think and feel.

Sometimes you may even detect a discrepancy between these non-verbal queues and what a person is saying. By learning to interpret body language, you can read between the lines to get at the truth or essence of any conversation.

Body language is expressed in terms of facial expressions, eye contact, gestures, body orientation, physical contact, proxemis (personal space), and posture. Of these non-verbal queues, posture is one of the most significant. A person's posture may be open or closed, depending on their response to what is being said and who is saying it.

People who are open and responsive generally sit with their legs outstretched, uncrossed, or with the knees apart. Their elbows are often away from the body; their hands are open or loosely clasped. They may lean forward toward the speaker as they listen, or display other signs of interest or agreement.

People who are closed, defensive, or even combative may sit with their legs crossed at either the knees or the ankles. They fold their hands on their lap or fold their arms across their chest. They may lean back in their chairs or show other signs of escape, retreat or aggression.

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The open and closed, forward and backward posture groups combine to create four basic emotional modes: reflective, responsive, defensive, and combative.

1. Reflective mode An open and back posture may indicate a reflective state. When you are in reflective mode, you are receptive. You may be listening to the other person, evaluating what she has said. In this "interested" mode, your "static" (stationary) body language remains relatively constant and you will be relatively still. Dynamic (moving) body language will provide an indication of your specific feelings. When a person is responding positively to what you are saying, you may observe: a relaxed brow; an occasional nod of the head; the head tilted toward you; lots of direct eye contact.

2. Responsive mode A forward and open position shows that a person is responsive. In this mode, he may be demonstrating that he is comfortable and relaxed with you. Alternatively, he may have evaluated your message and now be showing his active agreement. Once your ideas are accepted or understood, heads nod affirmatively and eyes open wider. When people are responsive, they will probably move closer to you. If sitting, they may shift to the edge of their seats to achieve this. When rapport is very strong, they may even begin to mirror your body language.

3. Defensive mode If listeners are leaning back and have closed body


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positions, it may mean they are in defensive mode. They may be bored, disinterested, or uncertain. They may be anxious, nervous, or stressed. Whichever of these emotions they are experiencing, they want to escape and be somewhere else.

These "fugitive" feelings are signaled by hunched shoulders, crossed arms or legs, and the feet may be pointing to the door. They may fidget and demonstrate a perceptible lack of eye contact as they look around or gaze down. People may unconsciously touch their bodies to relieve feelings of stress. Self-touch may indicate nervousness, confusion, or anxiety. It may also indicate deceit. Examples of self-touch include:

pinching the bridge of the nose clenching the hands massaging the hands, arms, or legs scratching, rubbing, or pinching the skin holding an arm or wrist touching the lips with the fingertips

4. Combative mode A forward and closed position signals the person is in combative mode. In this mode, feelings can range from disagreement to hostile aggression.

When a person has an aggressive attitude, they may stand with hands on the hips or elbows out. This is a common method of enlarging the body's size to appear physically more powerful in order to dominate or threaten.


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It is common for people in combative mode to invade your personal space. They may stand uncomfortably close or they may poke or prod you. They may even push their heads forward until their faces are only inches from yours. The hands can indicate a combative attitude. A combative person tends to clench his fists or make short, sharp, "cutting" motions with his hands. With his palms down, a combative person may slap or beat on a table, desk, or other surface. Facially, you can expect to see someone in combative mode to have their eyebrows lowered into a scowl of anger or displeasure, and their lips compressed or pursed in disagreement.

When you attempt to interpret non-verbal queues, it is important not to jump to conclusions based on a single gesture or posture. These elements of body language are like words in a sentence – they must be taken together to extract meaning. You have to "hear" the entire "silent sentence" for it to make sense.

Body language can help you to extract deeper meaning when you speak and when you listen. By watching for non-verbal queues, you can see how your words affect others and gain insight when other people speak. Pay attention to how people are reacting, as well as what they are saying, and your communications skills will improve significantly.


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Responding Appropriately to Body Language

here are often discrepancies between what people are thinking, as communicated by their words and what they are feeling, as communicated by their body

language. These different feelings can be categorized as

• defensive – passive and rejecting

• combative – active and rejecting

• reflective – passive and accepting

• responsive – active and accepting

People don't often consciously notice their own body language or that of others. Mostly, it is enacted and interpreted subconsciously. Body language can be very subtle, with each gesture and expression giving only part of the total emotional message.

Body language becomes more apparent when it doesn't match the words it accompanies. For example, someone's words may be reflective and receptive, but their body language may be defensive and rejecting. Their words may convey acceptance, but if the body language says otherwise, the discrepancy will be obvious.

When you notice that there is incongruence or a mismatch between a person's body language and his verbal message, you should try to address unvoiced resistance and facilitate understanding.

"Probing points," such as tension observed in a friend's mouth should prompt the question, "What's wrong?" You will

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need to further investigate the other person's verbal response to your message by using questions specifically designed to target the unvoiced attitudes or hidden uncertainties indicated by the body language.

Co-workers, friends, and family members will appreciate your acknowledgement of their feelings. They will also be encouraged to voice their true opinions, thereby avoiding unsuspected conflict at a later time.

In addition to observing discrepancies between verbal and non-verbal queues, it is also important to remember to put any observable behavior in context with what is being said and with other examples of body language that is being displayed at the time.

Postures, body movements, and facial expressions do not transmit accurate information when observed out of context. Certain "closed" movements, such as crossing the arms or the legs, may be done simply because the position is comfortable or because the person is trying to keep warm. Other movements, such as lowering the eyebrows can, depending on the degree, indicate either that the person is thinking or that he or she is angry.

It is indeed helpful to have the ability to pick up on people's unspoken uncertainties and concerns, particularly when you need to know if someone's reaction to you or your idea is positive or negative. Once you have that information, you are better positioned to give the most appropriate response and ensure clear and mutually beneficial communication.


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�Job Aid

Interpreting Emotional Modes

Instruction: Use this job aid to identify the reactions to your communicated messages.

People's body language communicates how they are reacting to you and your spoken messages. For a more accurate interpretation of their moods, look for "clusters" of the behaviors associated with the different emotional states.

If the person is feeling reflective , you can expect to see some of the following behaviors:

• leaning back

• holding an open posture or body position

• holding direct eye contact

• tilting the head while listening

• lowering the brows slightly

• moving only minimally

• aligning body directly with yours

• placing hand on, or stroking, the chin

• glancing occasionally to the side

• passively accepting


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Figure 1: Placing hand on the chin Figure 2: Leaning back

If the person is feeling responsive, you can expect to see some of the following behaviors:

• leaning forward with an open position

• smiling with a relaxed mouth

• tilting the head to the side showing amiability

• sitting on the edge of the chair

• sitting with the knees apart

• holding the hands open with palms turned up

• nodding the head to indicate agreement

• mirroring your body language

• sitting with the feet under the chair

• actively accepting

Figure 3: Smiling and relaxed Figure 4: Leaning forward


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If the person is feeling defensive, you can expect to see some of the following behaviors:

• leaning back

• adopting a closed posture or body position

• touching the lips with fingertips

• angling the body away from you

• holding no eye contact

• folding the arms tightly across the body

• crossing the legs

• pointing the feet towards door

• bowing the head forward submissively

• passively rejecting

Figure 5: Adopting a closed posture Figure 6: Avoiding eye contact


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If the person is feeling combative, you can expect to see some of the following behaviors:

• leaning forward

• adopting a closed posture or body position

• lowering the brows in deep scowl

• tapping the finger or foot

• pointing at you with the index finger

• placing hands on hips

• clenching the hands into fists

• tensing the mouth

• staring or glaring

• actively rejecting

Figure 7: Clenching fists Figure 8: Pointing index finger


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�Learning Aid

An Outline of Static Body Language

Instruction: Use this learning aid to investigate the static features of body language.

Body orientation

Body orientation is the position of the other person's upper body in relation to your own. This angular distance reveals how people relate to or feel about each other. The upper body unconsciously faces square on to, or aims at, people you like and agree with, but angles away from those you dislike or with whom you disagree. The greater the angular distance, the less rapport there is between the people concerned. Angular distance ranges from zero degrees – directly facing, to 180 degrees – turning your back.

Proxemics

The study of proxemics was first started by the anthropologist Edward Hall. He investigated people's use of their personal space and how this personal territory is protected from the intrusion of outsiders. Although it varies for different individuals and circumstances, it can generally be categorized as follows:

• intimate distance for embracing or whispering – between six and eighteen inches


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• personal distance for conversations among good friends – between 1.5 and four feet

• social distance for conversations among acquaintances – between four and 12 feet

• public distance used for public speaking – 12 feet or more

Study of non-verbal behaviors indicates that everyone perceives a distance that is appropriate for different types of messages and establishes a comfortable distance for personal interaction. Violation of this personal space can have serious adverse effects on communication.

Posture

The postures of the upper body reflect key emotional states and, as they are made unconsciously, they are more reliable indicators of a person's mood than movement of the arms or legs.

• bending or leaning away from someone is a sign of disagreement, disliking, or shyness

• sudden significant shifts in posture can also demonstrate negative feelings

• bowing forward with the head down is a response that shows submissiveness

• leaning forward with the head up shows a positive interest in the other person

• raised shoulders denotes fear or tension, while stooped shoulders signals negativity


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A body posture can be closed or open. Someone who does not feel comfortable with another person will often assume a closed position by crossing arms or legs or holding an object, such as a bag or a file, in front of the body. This provides a protective barrier for those who feel vulnerable because of feelings such as anxiety, nervousness or disagreement.

Physical contact or tactile communication

Used properly, tactile communication can transmit a more direct message than dozens of words; used improperly it can build barriers and cause mistrust. You can easily invade someone's space through this type of communication. If it is used reciprocally, it indicates solidarity; if not used reciprocally, it tends to indicate differences in status. Touch not only facilitates the sending of the message, but the emotional impact of the message as well. There are five categories of touch.

• functional – touch during a profession interaction such as by a doctor, dentist or hairdresser

• social/polite – usually involves a handshake or a pat on the shoulder

• friendship – touch to show warmth such as hugs and pecks on the cheek

• love/Intimacy – prolonged hugs and the holding of hands

• sexual – inappropriate in the workplace

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WorkplaceWorkplaceWorkplaceWorkplace

CommunCommunCommunCommunicicicicationationationation SkillsSkillsSkillsSkills The third module of the course introduces you to the communication techniques needed to establish intent, both other people’s and your own. It covers the three prime strategies that will enable you to do this. By speaking assertively, you can make your intentions clear, and in this course you will have the opportunity to practice several assertive communication techniques. Similarly, the course will demonstrate how to give constructive criticism on the behavior of others, and how to receive criticism on your own behavior positively. Finally, the course covers the skill of questioning. You will learn how to use questions in a non-threatening way to direct or encourage a conversation, to uncover hidden feelings or motives, and to persuade. Effective questioning is one of the most valuable communication skills of all. The following lessons are covered in this module: Lesson 1: Assertiveness in Communication Lesson 2: Criticism Without Conflict Lesson 3: Using Questioning Skills

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Assertiveness in CommunicationAssertiveness in CommunicationAssertiveness in CommunicationAssertiveness in Communication

Three Interpersonal Communication Styles

nless you are extremely lucky or accommodating, it is unlikely that you will go through your career without ever disagreeing with a colleague. During

disagreements, assertive communication comes into its own. But despite this, people often deal with difficult situations in either a passive or an aggressive manner.

Assertiveness is based on the principle that people have the right to decide what treatment they will, or won't, accept from others. Individuals are entitled to stand up for their rights, but not at the expense of the rights of others.

In other words, you have the right to ask for what you want, but the other person has the right to refuse you. On this basis, assertive communication is an effective way for adults to resolve their differences productively.

Of the three interpersonal communication styles – passive, aggressive, and assertive – passive and aggressive styles are the most common, whereas people find it harder to be assertive. These styles become more pronounced during stressful situations.

Behavior and communication can range from totally submissive (passive) at one extreme to overtly threatening (aggressive) at the other. Assertiveness is in the middle.

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Workplace Communication Skills

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More information about these three interpersonal communication styles is provided here.

The passive communication style

When people behave passively, they hope they'll get what they need without having to ask for it outright. They're afraid that if they ask outright, people won't like them. They only hint at what they want, and then hold others responsible for not giving it to them.

Passive people often adopt defensive postures, to make it appear that they are taking up less space. They keep eye contact to a minimum and are often soft-spoken, hesitant, and cautious. They also can behave passive aggressively and resort to sabotage in retaliation for not getting what they want.

People act passively because they fear conflict or confrontation. Since passive people go out of their way to be liked, they think that they are building good relationships with co-workers. In fact, the opposite is often true. Work relationships become unstable, because colleagues tire of "second guessing" what passive people really want, and hearing about the "sacrifices" that passive people claim to have made.

The aggressive communication style

When someone is adopting an aggressive communication style, being liked is not a priority. Being feared is more important. Aggressive people will say what they think, not caring about the impact on the receiver. Aggressive people


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demand what they want, and the only rights and feelings that concern them are their own.

Aggressive people adopt a threatening stance, taking up as much space as possible by standing with legs apart and hands on hips. They act aggressively because it works – those around them take the easy route, and give in when faced with their offensive behavior. However, any gains are short term. Working relationships can't flourish in an atmosphere of resentment, and co-workers may even retaliate with sabotage or insubordination.

The assertive communication style

If you are being assertive, you care about other people's feelings, but don't feel totally responsible for them. You believe that you should take care of your own needs, and you trust others with theirs. You don't want to be feared, but you're not desperate to be liked, either. You are prepared to let others decide what they think of you.

To behave assertively, stand straight, and maintain eye contact with the other person. Ask for what you need, and say what you think. You also should use "I" statements. Consider the following examples of assertive statements:

• "I feel very uncomfortable when you use bad language, and I'd like you to stop."

• "Well, I'm moving offices now. I can't stand this language."


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By acting assertively, you guide others to your desired outcome by enabling them to see the connection between their action and your response. Acting assertively will help you to build more stable and effective relationships, both inside and outside of the workplace – although you won't necessarily be liked all of the time.

Assertive communication is not always received well, so it takes courage to stand up for yourself. This is particularly true for passive people, who find it difficult to be direct. At first it can be hard to maintain your assertiveness. Initially, people may react negatively while they are getting used to the "new you."

You need to judge when to speak assertively, and to whom, but it's worth the effort. The long-term results of assertiveness are all positive, including greater self-esteem and more successful negotiations. Sometimes it may feel uncomfortable, but people will soon be giving you the respect that you show them, which can only improve your work relationships.

Four Types of Assertive Responses

ow often have you been lost for words when someone interferes, interrupts, or makes an insulting remark? When others attempt to manipulate your behavior by

telling you what you should do – or what they would do in your place – you may think your only options are to agree or to argue.

However, there is a third option – an assertive response. By using this type of response, you can maintain both your self-esteem and your harmonious relationships with others.

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When you don't want to submit to unacceptable remarks or be confrontational, you can use some simple but effective assertive responses to take a lower-key approach. Four types of assertive responses you can use are explained here.

1. Persistent assertiveness

You can use persistent assertiveness to put your point across even when you are being interrupted, or when someone is trying to change your mind. To use persistent assertiveness, you firmly restate your point or request after the other person has interrupted or spoken.

When using persistent assertiveness, it's important not to get drawn into arguments or explanations. Ignore the other person's baiting, manipulation, or irrelevant logic. Keep repeating your point, using a low, pleasant voice. Don't get pulled into a discussion about the rights and wrongs of the situation.

2. Empathetic assertiveness

If you find another person's words or behavior unacceptable, don't assume the person's purpose was to offend. The person may not realize the effect of what he or she has said or done.

You can use empathetic assertiveness to comment on unacceptable remarks or behavior without causing conflict. To make your views known with empathetic assertiveness, you should describe the negative impact of the person's remarks or behavior, avoid accusations, and let the other person decide what to do. This type of response


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demonstrates empathy with the other person's position and shows that you're not out to pick a fight.

3. Indefinite assertiveness

Use indefinite assertiveness to deflect unwelcome criticism or suggestions. This response is useful when you want to maintain a good relationship with the other person, but don't necessarily want to follow his or her suggestions.

To use this approach, you vaguely agree with as many of the facts as you want to, but you don't make a commitment to changing your behavior or applying the suggested solution. Indefinite assertiveness enables you to sidestep manipulative advice or criticism without appearing to totally disagree.

4. Negative acknowledgment

It's difficult to be assertive when you're receiving valid criticism, particularly when it's delivered in a hostile manner. Negative acknowledgment enables you to handle hostile but valid criticism calmly and to stay assertive even when you have to admit your mistakes.

To use this approach, you focus on the content of the criticism and not its delivery. This enables you to prevent the discussion from escalating into an argument.

These four assertive responses may not be effective every time, and they may not provide permanent solutions for all situations. But they can take the sting out of certain situations.


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Being assertive also feels better than being submissive. It enables you to maintain your self-esteem without resorting to the sorts of aggressive confrontations that destroy relationships, and enables you to sidestep interference, feel better about criticism, and get on with your work in your own way.

Assertive Interpersonal Negotiation Techniques

hen problems arise with work colleagues, it should be easy to make them aware of your wants and needs. Unfortunately, even as the words form in your mouth, your brain often starts thinking about

the possible consequences of what you are about to say.

You begin to have misgivings and eventually decide to stay silent. But silence won't get you results. That's why you need to learn to think and speak assertively.

When you act aggressively, you place the responsibility for how you feel on the shoulders of others, and demand what you want. When you act passively, you take responsibility for other people's feelings, and hope that they will give you what you want.

When you act assertively, you accept responsibility only for yourself, your actions, your needs, and your feelings. And you ask for what you want.

Assertive interpersonal negotiation techniques enable you to convey your wants, needs, and intentions clearly without ignoring the rights of others. Four techniques you can use and their most common uses are

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• declarative assertiveness, to state what you think or want

• confrontational assertiveness, to deal with unacceptable behavior

• cooperative assertiveness, to reach a satisfactory compromise

• assignation of accountability, to persuade people to deal with the consequences of their actions

You can use these techniques to handle a variety of situations and to ask others to change their behavior. But when negotiating assertively, you should always focus on what is right, not who is right.

The basis of assertiveness is that you have the right to ask for what you want, and the other person has the right to refuse. This means that you won't always get the desired result. But it's better to try to negotiate your preferred solutions assertively, rather than being aggressive or passive.

The success of assertive communication is affected by the balance of power. The declarative and confrontational assertiveness approaches are easier to use – and have more impact – when you have authority over the other party. When you have equal or less authority than the other party, cooperative assertiveness or assigning accountability may be more effective.

There are occasions when people don't realize, or acknowledge, the negative results of their behavior. Either they believe that you are overreacting, or they expect you to accept the situation. You might feel that your only options


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are to shrug it off, or risk an argument. But there is another route. You can assign accountability.

It's not unusual to feel unprepared for dealing with problem situations, because they usually arise unexpectedly. However, by practicing assertive communication approaches, you will be better equipped to reach an acceptable outcome without getting tongue-tied or angry.

Once you accept that everyone has both entitlements and responsibilities, you can use assertive communication techniques more effectively. They will improve your ability to stand up for yourself and increase your chances of achieving acceptable outcomes to problem situations.


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�Job Aid

The Principles of Assertiveness

Instruction : Use this job aid to refresh your understanding of assertive behavior and communication.

Assertiveness is:

• standing up for yourself without violating the rights of others

• believing you are entitled to hold and express your own opinions

• saying "no" without feeling guilty

• being straightforward

• asking for what you want

• asking questions when you don't understand

• expressing ideas even though they might be wrong

• risky behavior

• expressing disagreement as mildly or strongly as the circumstances require

• conveying empathy, fairness, objectivity and strength

• believing you have the right to make your own decisions, and other people are entitled to make theirs

• believing you are accountable for your own mistakes and decisions


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Assertiveness is not:

• being pushy or selfish

• hurting other people's feelings

• automatically giving others what they want

• people pleasing behavior

• getting from others what you want

• manipulative behavior

• taking responsibility for other people's problems

• a lack of concern for others

• saying yes when you want to say no

• not expecting others to give in to you

• shouting when you're angry

• reprimanding or punishing people


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�Job Aid

The Communication Continuum

Instruction : Use this job aid to support your understanding of behavioral and communication modes.

Behavioral and communications modes can range depending on the intensity of communication. The following table is ordered by the intensity of communication starting with the most aggressive on the top to assertive in the middle, to passive on the bottom, and matches the language to the behavioral mode.

Behavioral and communication modes

Behavior Language

Openly threatening • coercive

• punishing

Blaming • "you" statements personal attacks

• personal attacks

Domineering • ordering

• controlling


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Behavioral and communication modes

Behavior Language

Pushy • intrusive

• unreasonable

Escalated assertion • very firm "I" statements

• stating negative consequences

Straightforward assertion

• firm "I" statements

• stating reasons

Minimal assertion • simple "I" statements

• stating empathy

Ineffectual assertion • excessively apologetic

• "over the top" justification

Passive aggressive • sarcasm

• backstabbing and sabotage

Manipulative • whining

• hinting

Submissive • tentative statements

• speechless


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�Learning Aid

Billy and Zack's Conversation

Instruction : Use this learning aid to follow Billy and Zack's conversation.

Billy passes his friend and co-worker Zack in the hall. Zack notices that Billy looks irritated, which is unusual for Billy – he's normally so placid. Zack stops to speak to him.

Zack: "Hey, Billy. What's up? You look troubled."

Billy: "I'm not troubled – I'm just irritated. Those guys down in maintenance are so rude! I went down to see if I could get someone to take a look at the heating in my office, and I stood at reception for ten minutes before someone came through from the back office."

Zack: "Why didn't you just yell out, or knock on the desk?"

Billy: "I shouldn't have to! Anyway, I've just talked to Mike about it, and he's going to speak to the maintenance manager. They won't ignore me again."

Zack: "They probably weren't ignoring you this morning. They just didn't know that you were there."

Billy: "Well, I coughed loudly several times. They must have heard me."


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Zack: "So you say."


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�Learning Aid

How Assertive Are You?

Instruction : Use this learning aid to identify if you have a bias towards one of the three communication modes: aggressive, assertive, or passive.

Choose the responses that you would be most likely to give in the following situations.

Question 1

You and a friend are outside the movie theater discussing what to see. He says: "Dancing 'Till Dawn has had really good reviews. Let's see that." It may be critically acclaimed, but it's not your kind of movie. What do you say?

• a: "To be honest, I've got a headache, so I wouldn't really take it in. Let's get something to eat instead."

• b: "You don't believe the reviews, do you? The critics and the studios are all in it together. I've heard that it stinks."

• c: "I don't like musicals. I'd prefer to see a thriller like 'Midnight Shadows.'"


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Question 2

Your company is offering a three-day special offer, and the response from customers is spectacular. You need extra staff to work over lunch. How will you ask them?

• a: "If yesterday is anything to go by, things are going to get pretty frantic this lunchtime. I hope we can cope."

• b: "You'll have to take a later lunch today and tomorrow. You can't expect the rest of us to cope with all these extra calls."

• c: "I believe that we'll have another busy lunch hour, and I want to have as many staff available to take calls as I can. I'd like you to take your lunch break later, both today and tomorrow."

Question 3

You're eating with your boss, and the steak that you ordered is overcooked. What will you say to the waiter?

• a: "I'm sorry, but I thought that I ordered medium rare. If it's not too much trouble, could you bring me another one that's less well done?"

• b: "Can't you people take a simple order? I clearly said I wanted my steak medium rare, and this is almost black. Take it away."

• c: "This steak is very well done, and I asked for medium rare. Please take it back and bring me what I ordered. Thank you."


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Question 4

You've just come back from a meeting where your boss presented one of your ideas as his own. This is not the first time – and you're not happy about it. What will you say?

• a: "Did your idea for the new delivery system come after I mentioned it to you?"

• b: "There's no way that I'm going to carry on letting you take the kudos for my ideas. From now on, I'm keeping them to myself."

• c: "I would like you to publicly acknowledge the contributions that I've made to these departmental innovations."

Question 5

In conversation with a co-worker, you discover that she has been authorized to take an extra week's paid leave for a trip to Europe. She has two years' less service with the company than you. You don't think that this is fair, so what will you say to your manager?

• a: "Julie was saying that she is really pleased that you agreed to her having an extra week's annual paid leave. Are we all going to get more?"

• b: "I've just found out that you've given Julie more leave than me. You've given me no choice – I'm taking this up with the union!"

• c: "I'm not happy that Julie has been employed for less time than I, but has been given additional leave entitlement. I'd like the same."


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Question 6

You are asked to work late for the third time this week. Your colleague hasn't been asked once, and you suspect that it's because she has children, and you don't. What will you say in response to this third request?

• a: "I would, but I've got to get home early tonight. I'm going out. Why don't you ask Beth if she can do it?"

• b: "No, I won't. It's not fair, and I'm fed up with you dumping this on me! Why don't you ask Beth? Or do the two of you have some special arrangement?"

• c: "I'm irritated that I'm the only person being asked to work late. I think that you assume that because I don't have children, I don't have commitments. That's not true, and I would appreciate my co-workers being asked to do an equal share."

Mostly A's – passive

Passive behavior can be seen as a useful relationship builder, but in every good relationship there is both give and take. Be careful not to do all of the giving. You may be popular, but you're also frequently put upon. Don't rely on other people's sense of fairness to get what you need. It is much better to ask for it directly.

Mostly B's – aggressive

Your preference for more aggressive communication may be because you believe that you have to "stand up" for yourself to get what you need. But it's not always necessary to dominate to achieve your objectives. You often get what you


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want, but how you do it causes conflict and confrontation. You run the risk of making enemies.

Mostly C's – assertive

A preference for assertive communication shows that you are prepared to ask directly for what you want, but you also appreciate that others have rights and feelings. You don't attack, blame, or bully other people, but neither are you a pushover. This is the ideal behavior to resolve issues and negotiate mutually acceptable outcomes.


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�Learning Aid

Assertive Interpersonal Negotiation in Action

Instruction : Use this learning aid to follow the interactions of four colleagues, and see how they apply interpersonal negotiation techniques.

It's Leila's birthday, and several of her colleagues have bought her cards. Some of these are humorous, and there's a lot of loud laughing and joking going on as these are passed around. Meanwhile, the rest of the customer service team continues to answer the phones. Charlie, the team leader, is out of the office, but when he returns he hears the commotion. He approaches the noisy crowd and says: "I'd like you to keep it down or save it for the break. You can be heard by our customers, and it creates an unprofessional image."

It's Tuesday, and Lucy wants to take next week as leave. She has plans to decorate her apartment. Unfortunately, when she mentions this to her colleague, Elliott, it transpires that by coincidence he also wants to take next week as a vacation. They know that their manager will not allow them to be away at the same time. Lucy says: "I need the time off to decorate. It will take at least four days, and I've got new carpets being fitted next weekend." Elliott explains: "Tina and I were planning to spend five or six days in the mountains to celebrate our wedding anniversary. She'll be so disappointed if we can't go." Lucy suggests: "Why don't I


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take next Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday? Including this weekend, that will give me five days to decorate. Then you could have the Thursday and the Friday of next week and Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday of the following week. With the weekend, you'll get eight days for your trip."

Rose enters the coffee room, but unfortunately the coffee pot is empty and standing on top of the machine. At the sink, Alec is washing out his coffee mug. He puts it in the cupboard and makes his way to the door. Rose says: "Alec, you've used the last of the coffee. Now I've either got to stand here while it brews, or go without. In the future, I expect you to act like the rest of us and make a new pot while you're drinking the last of the old."

Jack has just received a phone call from one of his company's suppliers. Apparently, there has been a mix up, and the delivery that he was expecting this afternoon won't arrive now until the day after tomorrow. This is not the first time that this has happened, and these are essential supplies. He says: "Your company made a commitment that we'd have these goods by today, and now you're telling me that we won't. This is not the first time that your company has let us down like this. I want you to arrange a special courier delivery to get them here by this afternoon – for which your company will pay. If you don't, we'll be looking for another supplier."


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Criticism Without ConflictCriticism Without ConflictCriticism Without ConflictCriticism Without Conflict

Using Constructive Criticism and Feedback

or many people, the word criticism has negative connotations. That's because some people give "feedback" with the sole aim of delivering a personal

attack and causing hurt. So it's not surprising that criticism isn't always gratefully received, even when the intention behind it is positive.

People don't enjoy hearing that they are not perfect. And some claim to be giving constructive criticism when, in fact, they are just voicing their disapproval or dissatisfaction. These misunderstandings arise because people aren't aware of the differences between real criticism, feedback, and personal attacks.

• Criticism is evaluative – You assess another person's performance or actions. Criticism becomes constructive when you include appropriate alternatives to boost the chance of improvement.

• Feedback is descriptive – You describe the action or behavior in question and inform the person of your reaction to it. You retain accountability for your feelings and don't insist that your words are acted upon.

• A personal attack is judgment of a person – A personal attack is also evaluative, but you voice your judgment of the person, not of the person's

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performance, actions, or behavior. Often, your assessment of someone is based on your assumptions about his or her intentions, opinions, and beliefs.

You can't give truly constructive criticism unless you are qualified to do so. To be qualified, you must be sure of the criteria against which the performance is being judged and be able to provide the tools to encourage the necessary improvement.

This requires suitable credentials, such as experience, authority, or proven expertise. Without these, your criticism is unlikely to be accepted and acted upon.

If you are unsure whether you have the right credentials, it's best to limit your comments to giving feedback. If you're not eligible to give constructive criticism, you can still offer advice, but only if it is sought. Nothing ignites conflict or resentment faster than someone giving an unsolicited or unqualified judgment of another's work.

Don't use criticism to get your own way. There are assertive communication techniques you can use to reach a preferred outcome, or to defend yourself against the manipulative behavior of others.

The only acceptable reason to give criticism or feedback of any kind is to try to improve a person's performance for his or her benefit, and that of the company. At work verbal personal attacks are always inappropriate.

When you offer constructive criticism, you must be willing to take some responsibility for the results achieved – both good and bad. After all, you are the one who has used your


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superior position, knowledge, or experience to persuade someone to execute a task differently. Any other approach is unfair and guaranteed to cause discord.

Only constructive criticism and feedback given together can positively affect interpersonal interactions. Criticism alone and personal attacks may jeopardize relationships by making receivers feel negatively about the givers.

Whenever you are tempted to verbalize your judgment of someone else's behavior, make sure that your intention is to improve and not to punish. By keeping in mind the points discussed above, you'll be able to effectively use constructive criticism and feedback.

Criteria for Giving Constructive Criticism

iving criticism properly and constructively is not easy, particularly in the workplace. Fear of confrontation often prevents managers and team leaders from

tackling unacceptable performance. However, deferring action can lead to an escalation of the situation, and then it becomes more difficult to handle.

The main reason people don't take criticism well is because it is often used as a disguise for personal attack. The only acceptable reason for criticizing others at work is to gain performance improvements.

True criticism evaluates the person's behavior, not the person. Use constructive criticism to make suggestions about how the person can improve his or her behavior.

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For criticism to be effective, it must meet five criteria, which are described. If your criticism meets these five criteria, your motive will appear to be supportive, not manipulative. This will enable the receiver to accept your criticism more easily. However, if your criticism fails to meet these criteria, then the recipient has every right to refuse it.

1. Criticism must be performance-related

To be accepted by the receiver, criticism must be performance-related. This means that it should be given only when someone falls short of the company's accepted standards.

You should criticize only things that have a direct impact on an individual's work. So, you can't criticize people for looking as if they've been out all night, but you might need to criticize the fact that their performances are below standard because they were out all night.

Think carefully about what you expect to achieve by criticizing someone before you do it. Are you motivated by a desire to help the individual to improve his or her performance? Or are you trying to get the person to change his or her attitude?

If the latter is true, you are criticizing someone for the wrong reason. You should focus on achievable, performance-related outcomes.

2. Criticism must be precise

As well as being performance-related, your criticism also must be precise and based on fact. If you criticize in a vague


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way, then you run a high risk of the verbal exchange becoming confrontational.

Often people become defensive when they are being criticized, and they try to protect their positions by attacking you. Many times, these counterattacks center on the validity of what you have said. If your information is incorrect, it will create further conflict. So make sure that you have all of the facts and that you understand the issues thoroughly before criticizing someone.

3. Criticism must be given in private

Remember that the aim of criticism is to improve performance and not to humiliate the receiver. Only the person concerned should hear what you have to say.

4. Criticism must be delivered politely

Just because someone's performance is below standard, doesn't give you the right to be rude. Ensure that you use appropriate language.

5. Criticism must be "posture-sustained" or backed up by the giver's body language

You also need to make sure that your body language sends the same supportive message as your words. Avoid combative postures or threatening gestures, such as pointing your finger, clenching your fist, or invading the receiver's personal space. Physically demonstrate that you are prepared to listen to the other person's point of view.

Being criticized is sometimes hard, but giving criticism is not easy either. Remember to approach your receiver as a problem-solving partner and not as an accusing adversary.


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Before giving criticism, remember that you must always be polite, and your body language should support what you say. But most importantly you should always give precise, performance-related criticism, in private. By keeping these five criteria in mind, you can ensure that your criticism is effective and that it is received as it is intended.

Accepting Criticism in a Positive Manner

ou can't control what is said to you. But you can control the manner in which you respond to the comments of others. One of the most difficult communications to respond to is criticism, particularly

when it does not appear to be constructive, or even justified.

Whether criticism is valid or not, most people respond negatively to it. However, you need to be able to identify when it is in your best interest to accept criticism in a positive manner, and you should understand how to do this effectively.

Criticism should be precise, performance-related, and "posture-sustained," which means backed up by the giver's body language. It should be given politely and in private. Preferably, the criticism should also be constructive, but that isn't always the case.

When criticism doesn't satisfy these five essential criteria, you can choose to refuse it, or confront it.

The most common reaction to any criticism is "fight or flight." This is a natural human reaction to a perceived attack. It triggers a rush of adrenaline that causes you to try to defend yourself.

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If you're willing to accept and act on valid criticism, you will achieve better performance and improved results. But an inability to receive valid criticism positively can result in

• repeated criticism

• conflict and blame

• diminished self-esteem

Criticism becomes productive when you accept that your behavior can be changed, and you are willing to do so. It becomes unproductive when you are not open to change. Then the criticism process will simply repeat itself.

It's not easy to accept criticism, even when you know that it's valid and that it can help you make a change. When your abilities are being attacked, your natural reaction is to fight back verbally.

However, there's a better way to protect your self-esteem. Protection techniques enable you to accept valid criticism assertively, without arguing. Three protection techniques you can use are to

• agree with the truth of the criticism

• agree with the logic of the criticism

• acknowledge that improvement is possible

Agreeing with the truth or logic of criticism isn't a commitment to behavior change. Neither is acknowledging that improvement is possible. These three approaches merely limit the potential conflict that could arise from your instinctive need to retaliate. They help you to avoid feeling


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bad about yourself, even when the criticism is justified. By agreeing with the critic verbally, you'll feel less victimized.

Performance will be maximized in a work environment where criticism is given constructively and received positively. When people are not afraid to share their knowledge and others aren't too proud to receive and use it, criticism can work to the benefit of all.


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�Job Aid

Criticism Decision Tree

Instruction : Use this job aid to examine the negative and positive decisions to be made when receiving criticism.

Figure 1: Criticism decision tree


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You must be honest about your ability to change. Remember, being unwilling to change is not the same as being unable to change.

If you truly can't change, it is more positive to accept the situation and learn from it, than to dwell on it and end up blaming yourself or others for it.

If the criticism is not correctly given, refuse to listen and let it go. If it is not valid, confront it assertively rather than aggressively.


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Using Questioning SkillsUsing Questioning SkillsUsing Questioning SkillsUsing Questioning Skills

Using Open and Closed Questions

conversation between two people seems to be a simple enough undertaking. But you can never be sure how it will play out. Sometimes, the other person

will say little. At other times, the other person won't stay quiet long enough to take a breath!

Fortunately, certain kinds of questions can help you in these situations. They enable you to get the quiet people to speak up, and the others to quiet down. These questions are either open or closed.

Using open and closed questions is like using a faucet. Open questions open the "faucet," allowing the water – or words – to pour from the other person. Closed questions turn the "faucet" in the opposite direction, reducing the flow to a more controlled stream of information.

There are many situations where you might want to increase or decrease the flow of information without being too obvious about it. Although you could say, "Tell me all about yourself" to a quiet person, he or she probably wouldn't know where to start. You also could say, "Shut up" to a talkative person, but that would be impolite. Open and closed questions offer a far more subtle approach.

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You can use open questions when you're eager to learn all about a new acquaintance. These types of questions also are useful when you want to obtain as much information as possible from a job applicant.

You can use closed questions to prevent another person from diverting the conversation away from the subject you wish to discuss. These types of questions also are useful in cases of information overload, to stop another person from talking so much.

Open questions are based on the words who, how, where, when, which, why, and what, and can't be answered easily with just a "yes" or a "no" answer. Open questions can help you gain information. Of course, it is still possible for people to give minimal responses to open questions, but they'll seem ignorant or rude if they do. Here are a few examples of open questions.

• Who was responsible for introducing you to your best friend?

• Where do you live, and why?

• When you were young, what did you want to grow up to be?

Closed questions are used to gain confirmation, clarification, or commitment. Closed questions can be answered with simple "yes" or "no" answers and are based on words such as can, do, is, should, and will.

The skill of questioning lies in being able to use a combination of question types to direct a conversation and gain the information you need without it sounding unnatural.


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If you use too many open questions, people may feel as if they are being interrogated. But too many closed questions can make them feel that they are not being allowed to speak.

The risk in using open questions repeatedly is that you can get a lot of information and yet still not reach the heart of the matter. That's when closed questions are most useful.

With a combination of open and closed questions, you can elicit a lot of valuable information, and then make an informed evaluation of what you have been told. Whether you want information or confirmation, careful questioning will help you to achieve your objectives and put you in the conversational driver's seat.

How to Use Exploratory Questions

uite a few common work situations involve or require extended questioning. Salespeople identifying the needs of customers, managers conducting selection

interviews or staff reviews, and consultants investigating the causes of problems all need to ask questions to achieve their objectives.

On occasions such as these, it's important to keep the conversation light and unthreatening. Open questions are best for uncovering information. These are questions based on words such as what, where, which, when, who, how, and why.

Unfortunately, if you use too many open questions, you can sound as if you are interrogating. In particular, "Why?" type questions can seem threatening. Depending on your tone of

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voice, they can send a variety of messages – not all of them positive.

People don't enjoy being asked a succession of "Why?" type questions, because it can be unnerving. Fortunately, exploratory questions serve the same purpose, but are more acceptable. Exploratory questions are indirect questions and begin with the following phrases and ideas:

• "Describe to me..."

• "Explain to me..."

• "Clarify for me..."

• "Tell me..."

Exploratory questions enable you to ask for details and investigate the rationale behind a person's statement, decision, or policy without repeatedly asking "Why?" or "What?" or "How?" They also are less likely to trigger conflict. Consider the following examples.

• Instead of asking, "Why does your company use its current supplier?" you could say, "Explain the reasons for your company using its current supplier."

• Instead of asking, "Why have you decided to look for another job?" you could say, "Tell me what's prompted your decision to look for another job."

As you can see from these examples, exploratory questions are more sympathetic than just asking, "Why?" Sympathy and a soft approach are essential factors when asking someone a lot of questions. They will help you to keep the other person interested and positive, instead of making the person defensive.


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People like to talk about themselves, their thoughts, and their opinions. They also like the company of others who take an interest in them. But they don't want to feel as if they are under a microscope. This is why exploratory questions are so useful. They enable you to get the information you need, while still enjoying a relaxed and natural conversation.

Using Leading Questions to Persuade

magine this scene: You make what you believe is an acceptable suggestion to a customer or colleague, but no matter how you try to explain it, the person does not see

the logic of your proposal. In fact, the more you talk, the more he or she seems incapable of making a decision.

The benefit is obvious to you, but the other person just can't see it. In this situation, you can use a leading question to persuade.

The purpose of leading questions is to lead another person towards a specific decision or response. That's why these questions often are used in court. The lawyer phrases the question so that by obtaining a simple "yes" or "no" answer, an important point has been made. Consider the following example.

• The lawyer asks, "So, would you say that there was longstanding and deep hostility between the defendant and the deceased?"

• The witness answers, "Ah...yes, I guess so," and the opposing lawyer jumps up and shouts, "Objection! Attempting to lead the witness, Your Honor!"

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In addition to guiding a person to give a preferred response, you can use leading questions to direct people towards certain decisions. In essence, leading questions summarize the advantages to be gained by making a choice, delivered in the form of an inquiry.

Leading questions may appear to be manipulative, but they only work if they are linked to something that the other person wants. For your questions to succeed, the person must want what's being offered more than what's required in return. Some other points to keep in mind when using leading questions are listed here.

• Leading questions shouldn't be too complicated. You need to keep them as simple and straightforward as possible to guide others to the responses you want.

• To direct people towards a specific response, keep your leading questions closed.

• Your leading questions should offer an obvious preference. Don't make decisions difficult by asking someone to choose between two equally attractive or unattractive options.

The skill in asking effective leading questions comes from knowing what the other person wants. The success comes from being able to show how it can be obtained.

Leading questions enable you to present the other party with a simplified choice that effectively speeds up the decision process. Use them correctly, and you'll be better able to "close the deal" on successful interpersonal negotiations.

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Communicating ForCommunicating ForCommunicating ForCommunicating For

ResultsResultsResultsResults

The fourth module of the course is designed to provide you with the techniques you will need to communicate effectively in three common, but sometimes difficult, situations. Firstly, you will learn the communication skills required to ensure the collaboration and cooperation of your colleagues and peers when you are working as a member or as a leader of a project team. Whether you want help with a particular task, or need someone else to undertake the task on your behalf, this course will show you how to approach those capable of giving you what you need. Secondly, this course will outline the communication required to maintain customer relationships during sensitive situations, such as when customers make a complaint, or you must deny their requests. Thirdly, you will learn how best to present information to your managers. Whether your intention is to report or to persuade, if you also want to impress your boss, it's crucial that you communicate concisely, and in a manner which is guaranteed to be understood the first time.

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The following lessons are covered in this module: Lesson 1: Communicating with Colleagues and

Co-workers Lesson 2: Communicating with Existing Customers Lesson 3: Communicating with Your Managers and

Directors

Communicating for Results

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Communicating with Colleagues and Communicating with Colleagues and Communicating with Colleagues and Communicating with Colleagues and

CoCoCoCo----workersworkersworkersworkers

How to Ask Others for Cooperation

here are many occasions in which you will need the cooperation of others. For example, perhaps you will need help finishing an important task or meeting a

critical deadline. Perhaps a colleague has the vital knowledge, skills, or resources that will enable you to achieve your goal. Working in a collaborative environment also reduces the risk of conflict, and therefore increases productivity.

The first step towards gaining the collaboration or agreement that you need is to ask for it. But many people are reluctant to do so. They may think that asking for help shows weakness. Or maybe they did so in the past but did not gain the desired results. This probably occurred because they did not know how to ask properly.

To achieve your goals, you need to follow the rules on how to request someone's assistance. When you need some unusual or unexpected help, you may hesitate to approach your co-workers. You can overcome this doubt by applying the following "rules for asking" before and during your request:

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1. Ask yourself, "What's really preventing me from requesting what I want?"

When you can't bring yourself to ask for what you want, you need to consider what's preventing you from doing so. Often it's because you're unwilling to deal with a refusal. Perhaps that refusal will precipitate a difficult decision for you, so you postpone the request. You're less likely to hesitate if you first deal with the true cause of your reluctance.

2. Ask yourself, "What will it cost me to ask?"

If you still feel anxious, then consider what asking might cost you, or how it might affect you. Give some thought to any negative effects that asking might have and weigh them against the benefits of getting what you want. If you believe the possible advantages outweigh the possible disadvantages, you'll feel more comfortable asking.

3. Ask specifically for what you want

It's essential to overcome your psychological barriers first. If you're not prepared for the consequences of a refusal, you won't ask specifically for what you want. You'll be vague in the hope of getting a "yes." However, you may be misunderstood, so any agreement that you gain will be useless.

4. Ask in a positive way

Similarly, if you don't mentally accept the cost of asking, you won't ask positively. Unfortunately, a hesitant approach makes it all too easy for you to be refused.


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5. Ask the right person

You need to ask the right person for help – the person who can give you what you want. Don't persuade third parties to ask for you to avoid someone's reaction. Your "messengers" may ask incorrectly or without enthusiasm.

People may become suspicious or perceive a lack of respect if you don't ask them for help yourself. They may wonder what you're trying to hide. This will make you appear less trustworthy, and trust is fundamental to cooperation. Without it, you affect your chances of gaining agreement.

6. Ask at the right time

Ask at the right time to make sure that your request is not dismissed. Use your common sense and instincts to identify if the circumstances are right. For example

• don't ask for help from colleagues when they're busy, even if you do need their help right now

• don't ask for additional resources after your manager announces that your department is over budget

7. Ask for a definite answer

Ask for a definite answer. You may fear refusal, but postponing the other person's decision won't help. Don't be left in limbo. Nor should you accept a "maybe," even if you'd prefer it to a refusal. Postponing bad news prevents you from making critical decisions on time.

Following these rules doesn't guarantee that you'll always get the desired response. If your request is extreme or


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excessive, the other person may turn you down. Even if your request is reasonable, you will reduce your chance of success if it is poorly timed, incorrectly directed, or if you are too demanding or too vague.

It is possible to get agreement without following the "asking" rules. But there's a good chance that you'll be disappointed.

Even when you are refused, all is not lost. If you listen closely to the answers to your request and analyze them, you can judge if there's still a possibility of success. You could ask again, but differently.

If you believe that your request is reasonable, then don't be afraid to ask. The rules described above won't guarantee that you'll always get what you want, but they will give you the best chance of getting a positive answer.

Communicating with Project Team Members

hen you're involved in leading a project, your most valuable resource is the team. So it's crucial that the team's talents are utilized to best effect. You

need to foster the individual strengths of each team member and reduce the impact of weaknesses.

These strengths and weaknesses often are dictated by an individual's social style. A social style is the behavior a person uses when dealing with situations. For example, some people are highly responsive to others, and so their relationships take preference over their work. Others are more motivated by results than relationships, and choose to focus on tasks. Some people want to influence the opinions

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and actions of colleagues, and are therefore inclined to give orders, while others are happy to follow.

Everyone possesses all of these characteristics, but will display those with which they are most comfortable. There are four basic social styles – driver, expressive, analytical, and amiable. Each team member's social style influences how that person interacts with colleagues, how the person communicates, and the kind of work the person either enjoys or avoids.

When you're leading a project, you need to be able to communicate with each team member in a manner that will help you gain understanding, agreement, and collaboration. To do this, you need to tailor your message according to each team member's social style. Here are details about each of the four styles, and how to communicate with the four social style types:

1. The driver style

People with the driver style are high on assertiveness, but low on responsiveness. They are sometimes also known as directors. These people prefer to focus on tasks rather than relationships. They are confident, decisive, and results-oriented, and they're determined to win, even if this means taking risks on occasion.

Unfortunately, they can be arrogant and dominating, and have a hard time admitting when they're wrong. In this respect, they are not too good with people and can be seen as cold and uncaring.


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When you converse with drivers, it's important to speak specifically, clearly, and briefly. You need to sound professional and logical, or drivers will lose respect for you. It's essential to stay focused on the required results, so avoid vagueness.

If a driver asks questions, give direct answers, and don't get defensive or emotional. Present the goals and objectives, and explain how to achieve them in a business-like manner. Don't get too friendly or personal – drivers aren't interested.

2. The expressive style

People with the expressive style are high on assertiveness, are high on responsiveness, and focus more on their relationships. They are sometimes also called socializers.

Expressives are open, self-assured, and outgoing, with an enthusiastic approach that makes them friendly and fun-loving. Regrettably, these qualities also can make them egotistical and undisciplined. Creativity and innovation come more easily to them, so they are good at solving problems. They are naturally persuasive, which makes them talented negotiators.

When dealing with expressives, don't give them too much detail. When assigning tasks or setting goals, allow them the freedom to use their creativity in planning how to accomplish what is required. Get them "on side" by acknowledging their accomplishments, and give them an opportunity to express their ideas and turn those ideas into action.

Your communication should reflect their enthusiasm and positive attitude. Whenever possible, provide opportunities


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for expressives to interact with and motivate others – it's what they're good at. Don't be afraid to talk about yourself, your experiences, and your opinions with them. It demonstrates the presence of the personal connection that expressives respond to positively.

3. The analytical style

People with the analytical style are low on both assertiveness and responsiveness. They are also known as thinkers, because they like to solve problems. Their focus on tasks makes them industrious and conscientious.

However, sometimes their search for perfection can cause problems with deadlines. Things are never quite good enough for them to accept as finished. Unfortunately, this trait can make them both critical and indecisive.

Analyticals are interested in proof, so provide facts and figures if you wish to convince them of your point of view. They are not risk-takers, so whenever possible demonstrate why your preferred option involves the least risk. Give them as much detail as you can, using a direct, low-key approach to presenting ideas. It's essential that all of your facts are accurate and precise.

Be patient with analyticals' thoroughness and need for information. They often will ask a lot of questions. Make yourself available to answer them. If you have questions, don't expect immediate answers or decisions – the analytical needs time to think things over. When assigning tasks, set specific time limits, and specify that you want the person's best work within the given time constraints.


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4. The amiable style

People with the amiable style are highly responsive but not very assertive. They are sometimes known as relaters. As the name suggests, people with the amiable social style are friendly, and relationships mean a lot to them. They like other people and are supportive, reliable, willing, and helpful. They don't enjoy change and prefer stability, which is why they don't mind doing repetitive work.

Amiables appear quiet and will avoid conflict and decision making. This makes them dependent and unsure of themselves, but they are conscientious and steady and will work to given goals and timetables.

When communicating with amiables, show that you care. Give them structure and plenty of positive attention when you assign tasks to them.

Knowing your own social style will help you to understand why you sometimes feel exasperated when working with certain people – they probably have the opposite style to yours. For example, drivers will find the dependence of amiables irritating. But if you're an amiable, you'll find the push and ambition of drivers intimidating.

Remember, each social style has its own combination of traits, related to the person's prime motivation. By determining the social style of each member, understanding your own social style, and adjusting your one-on-one approach accordingly, you'll stand a much better chance of communicating successfully and achieving your project objectives.


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Conducting Results-oriented Project Meetings

ome people complain that meetings are a waste of time – that they go on too long and don't seem to accomplish anything. In principle, meetings should

offer the same advantages as teamwork in assisting the successful completion of projects. But for this to happen, meetings need to have direction and discipline.

The purpose of a general meeting is to keep the channels of communication open. On the other hand, the purpose of a results-oriented meeting is to be productive. Attendees meet to achieve a specific goal. To make sure that you don't get accused of holding pointless meetings, don't hold meetings out of habit, and ensure that you invite only those people whose input is required to achieve the objective.

Time is precious, and when you're leading a project, neither you nor your team can afford to waste it. Everything you do must be directed towards the end result, including meetings. Your meetings will be more productive if you apply these communication strategies:

1. Focus on the goal

First, you must set and then communicate the objective to be achieved. Each meeting should be called for only one reason. When objectives are mixed, attendees are more likely to become confused.

Your goal should be in the form of an outcome, and not a process. For example, don't call a meeting to discuss the progress of the system upgrade. Instead, call a meeting to complete the second stage of the system upgrade by March

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1. Without a goal, the meeting will degenerate into a general discussion.

Once you have decided on your goal, all associated communication, such as the agenda, must focus on it. You can keep everyone on track by reviewing your agenda and goal at the beginning of the meeting. By showing the group this "map" of the meeting, you'll have a better chance of keeping team members on the right path and focused on the objective they need to achieve.

2. Collect information

At your meeting, you need to collect as much relevant information as possible to help you achieve your goal. It's this information that will then enable problems to be resolved, informed choices and decisions to be made, and agreement to be reached.

Information may come from various sources, including people outside the project team. It's the responsibility of the person leading the meeting to identify these sources and obtain their contributions.

It's also important to remember that to support problem solving and decision making, the information you collect has to be the right information. When a team meets, its attention can easily be diverted from the main objective by the introduction of other issues. To reach your goal, make sure the meeting stays focused on the issue at hand.


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3. Solve problems

Some problems will have been identified and already up for discussion, while others will surface during the meeting. All participants should be encouraged to voice their ideas for potential solutions and the merits of each one discussed.

If problems arise that are discussed for some time without getting closer to a solution or that don't require everyone's attention, then set up another meeting to deal with them. As the leader of the meeting, it's up to you to decide if solutions need to be sought immediately or if they can be resolved later as separate issues. Base your decision on what expertise is in the room, how much time it will take, and if it jeopardizes the opportunity to discuss higher priority agenda items.

4. Make decisions

Making decisions is crucial to the success of results-centered meetings. Some decisions need to be made by the whole group. Others might not require everyone's input. There are even occasions when the person leading the meeting has to make a unilateral decision.

It's preferable to delay making a decision rather than push the group into a poor one because the meeting is about to end. Avoid the "let's just make the decision and get out of here" mentality by either getting the group to agree to extending the current meeting, or arranging another one.


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5. Confirm agreement

It's important to gain the agreement of the people to whom you assign tasks. Don't just announce what you want them to do – ask them to confirm their willingness. Gain agreement about each agenda item before moving to the next.

Unanimous agreement isn't necessary for every decision, but even the backing of the majority of the group makes solutions easier to implement. Confirm that those who didn't vote for the solution have accepted the decision of the majority.

To achieve positive results from your meetings, it's vital to collect information, solve problems, make decisions, and confirm agreement. But none of this will happen unless you take control. Your role as a facilitator is to encourage and direct the flow of discussion, prevent digression, capture ideas, summarize key points, assign tasks, and set completion criteria. Keep the following points in mind:

• Stay neutral – As far as possible, remain neutral on whatever issue is being discussed. If you do contribute, you should speak last and attempt to summarize what has been said. It's essential to be impartial, otherwise your decisions will be biased.

• Take charge – Sometimes it's awkward to run a meeting when some of the participants are more senior or more experienced than you are. Accept your position, and don't act apologetically. For the course of the project and the meeting, you are in charge – so take charge.


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• Encourage contribution – Some people are more verbal than others, but when discussion is dominated by a few, the group may not get the full picture or benefit from everyone's knowledge and experience. Ensure that you get input from everyone by asking for it.

During the meeting, make sure any generated tasks are assigned to specific individuals or groups. Then after the meeting, follow this through by producing an action plan and circulating it to the attendees, instead of just formal minutes.

There are several reasons why results-oriented meetings increase the effectiveness of a team. First, meetings can provide free interchange of ideas and stimulate and clarify thinking. Second, the group is more likely to develop better solutions than any one individual could. Last, action plans will be more effectively coordinated if everyone has contributed to them. These are all compelling reasons for conducting meetings that stay focused on one goal.


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�Job Aid

Asking

Instruction: Use this job aid to help you to ask for cooperation from your colleagues by applying the "rules for asking".

The rules for asking are simple and should be applied whenever you need to ask your colleagues for assistance. The rules do not have to be applied in any particular order, but applying them will help you to gain the cooperation and assistance you need.

• Ask yourself: "What's really preventing me from requesting what I want?"

• Ask yourself: "What will it cost me to ask?

• Ask specifically for what you want

• Ask positively

• Ask the right person

• Ask at the right time

• Ask for a definite answer


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�Job Aid

Social Style Self-assessment

Instruction: Use this job aid to determine your own social style.

Choose one answer in each set that describes you the MOST, and one answer in each set that describes you the LEAST. There are no right or wrong answers. For the most accurate analysis of your social style, be as honest as you can.

Set 1

D – compromising B – insistent C – controlled A – expressive Set 2

C – aloof B – authoritarian D – submissive A – friendly Set 3

C – serious A – lighthearted D – hesitant B – decisive

Set 4

B – risk-taking C – conforming D – cautious A – unconventional Set 5 A – easygoing

B – demanding C – disciplined D – supportive Set 6

B – outgoing D – reserved C – calculating A – spontaneous


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Set 7

C – guarded A – open D – relaxed B – tense Set 8

D – restrained A – impulsive C – analytical B – assertive Set 9

C – formal A – extroverted D – complacent B – influential Set 10

C – methodical D – accommodating B – domineering A – unstructured

Set 11

C – reserved D – shy A – carefree B – demanding Set 12

D – patient A – dramatic C – reticent B – bold Set 13

B – pioneering C – fussy A – sociable D – loyal Set 14

C – obliging A – playful D – neighborly B – argumentative Set 15

B – outspoken A – popular D – optimistic C – cultured

Count the number of times you used each letter for describing you the MOST and record that score.

Then count the number of times you used each letter for describing you the LEAST and record your score.


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Subtract the LEAST from the MOST and record the DIFFERENCE for each letter. (Negative numbers are possible.)

Rank the letters, with the letter with the highest score first, and the one with the lowest score fourth.

Now identify your style. Some people use a combination of styles when their two highest ranking styles are the same or very close in score.

• If your highest ranking letter is A, your social style is expressive

• If your highest ranking letter is B, your social style is the driver

• If your highest ranking letter is C, your social style is analytical

• If your highest ranking letter is D, your social style is amiable

This assessment can help you to identify why you feel the way you do about people you interact with in the workplace. People with expressive styles may have difficulty with a driver style supervisor. Expressive style supervisors may not recognize contributions of the analytical style employees. Your social style may affect the way that you perceive others at work, and the way that they perceive you. It explains how some combinations of people don't mix well, and how others, though different, make a great team!


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�Learning Aid

My Team

Instruction : Use this learning aid to learn more about your team at GoWear.

You have four people in your team, and although they get along well together, they are all very different. This is demonstrated by what happens at lunch one day.

Anna is first into the cafeteria, and joins people from another department who are sitting at a large table. She's soon the center of attention, and has everyone laughing at her funny stories.

Josh arrives ten minutes later. He was delayed because he was busy completing a job for you. He also joins the people at the large table, and smiles and laughs at Anna's stories, although he says nothing much himself.

When Theo arrives, he takes a while to decide what to eat for lunch. When he eventually makes up his mind, he finds a table where he can sit alone and do his crossword.

Clarissa doesn't stay in the cafeteria. She picks up some food to go and then heads back to the office to continue her calls. She reckons that she is at least a week ahead of schedule on her assignment, and is aiming to better that.


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�Learning Aid

Spence's Colleagues

Instruction : Use this learning aid to learn how Spence describes each of his colleagues, and consider what their social styles might be.

Cherie – "I suppose that Cherie could be described as a real 'go getter.' She definitely wants to go all the way in her career. She is totally focused on her job, and doesn't let personal allegiances stand in her way. She's not unpopular but she doesn't seem to have many friends in the company – not that she seems concerned about it. Nothing daunts her, and she will take charge at every opportunity."

George – "George is very popular with everyone. He's always the life and soul of all the department's social gatherings, and he'll talk to anyone and everyone. That's probably why he's a really good salesperson. He's great to have around when you're feeling low, but he certainly isn't a guy to rely on if you've got a deadline to meet. He has some really good ideas, but it usually takes someone else with more focus to put them into action."

Dee – "Dee's been doing the same job for years, but doesn't seem to mind. She's a really hard worker, and the department wouldn't function without her. She does seem to hold everything together, and goes out of her way to keep the peace when things get heated. Dee's a really nice


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woman, and very caring. Other people often take advantage of her good nature."

Rudy – "Nothing is ever good enough for Rudy. He questions whatever you tell him, and he's always checking things – which can be very irritating. The strange thing is that he's always busy working, but never seems to finish anything."


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�Learning Aid

Meeting Agenda

Instruction : Use this learning aid to review the agenda for your meeting to discuss the recruitment of staff for the new sales unit.

Title: Business to Business Sales Development Project Team

Date: October 23rd

Venue: Boardroom

Objective: to have the new business to business sales unit fully staffed and operational by February 1.

Participants:

• Mandy – HR

• Tony – Training and Development

• Teresa – Sales Administration Manager

• Martin – Business to Business Sales Manager


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Schedule

Time Topic Presented by

10:00 - 10:45

Compilation of candidate profiles for sales positions within the new unit.

Open discussion

10:45 - 12:00

Presentation from Mandy on the comparative costs and advantages of various methods of recruitment, followed by an open discussion and a decision on how to proceed.

Mandy Open discussion

12:00 - 12:30

Drawing up of a recruitment schedule.

Open discussion

12:30 - 1:00

Presentation on new hire training by Tony, which will cover the aims of training, topics covered, and duration.

Tony Questions from participants

The meeting so far:

Mandy reports to the group on the comparative costs of recruitment. She gives examples of the cost of advertising versus using a recruitment agency. When she finishes, Martin speaks up.

• Martin says: "I think that our staff turnover is too high to consider using an agency."


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• Mandy responds: "That's only happened recently. I don't think that it will continue."

• Martin replies: "It will get worse because the salaries we pay our salespeople aren't competitive. They can earn a lot more elsewhere."

Teresa interjects: "If you think that salaries are poor in sales, you should try keeping staff in administration, with the salaries that we offer there."


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�Learning Aid

North Building Security Project

Instruction : Use this learning aid to review the agenda for the meeting to discuss security in the North Building.

Title: Internal Security Project Team for North Building

Date: April 3rd

Venue: Conference room, Telesales Floor, North Building

Objective: to implement new internal security system throughout the North Building by June 1.

Participants:

• Gus – Telesales Manager

• Frances – Sales Administration Manager

• Patti – Accounts and Billing

• Floyd – Customer Services Manager

Schedule


09:30 - 10:15

Discussion and scheduling of training staff in North Building to use the new

Open discussion


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Schedule


internal security system.

11:00 - 11:45

Proposal by Gus to use internal security system to monitor staff absences from desks.

Gus Open discussion


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�Learning Aid

Client Database Software Project

Instruction : Use this learning aid to review the agenda for the meeting to discuss the implementation of new client database software.

Title: Implementation of New Client Database Software Project Team

Date: July 25th

Venue: IT Meetings Room

Objective: to have the new client database software fully operational by October 20.

Participants:

• Marcy – IT Project Manager

• Duncan – Systems Development

• Iris – Customer Services – Business

• Brendan – Customer Services – Consumer

• Wilson – Business Sales

• Kirsten – Consumer Sales


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Schedule


9:15 - 10:00

Duncan will give a demonstration of the latest version of the customer software.

Duncan Q & A session

10:00 - 10:30

Marcy will present the considerations behind setting the schedule for the transfer of customer data to the new software.

Marcy

10:45 - 11:15

Open discussion led by Duncan to compile a training needs analysis for both sales and customer service staff.

Duncan All participants


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Communicating with Existing Communicating with Existing Communicating with Existing Communicating with Existing

CustomersCustomersCustomersCustomers

Identifying Customer Motivations

ustomers feel more comfortable doing business with companies that seem to have a feel for what they need and what they want. When you offer your

customers what they require, without them having to ask for it, they perceive that you have a special understanding of them. This kind of empathy is priceless.

Your company's relationships with its clients rely on its ability to continue to satisfy their needs. In certain situations, it's useful to be aware of these needs before they've been stated openly.

Customer buying and business decisions are precipitated by certain motives. These often are reflected in customers' communications with you, even when they aren't making specific requests. Five customer motives are financial, security, status, convenience, and discovery.

You can pick up clues to your customers' motives by identifying what interests, attracts, or concerns them most. They may have more than one motive, so it's important to listen for them all. Some may be more apparent than others,

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but that's because they are a priority for that customer, and take precedence over any others.

By listening for clues in conversations with your clients, you can identify your clients' motives. Explore some examples of clues to customer motivations:

Financial

The financial motive is sometimes called the profit motive. When a customer has this motive, his or her main concern is cost. The customer will show an interest in and talk about price, payment terms, interest rates, and discounts.

It is unusual for anyone to buy or do business based on the financial business motive alone. Would you buy a house, a car, or even a sandwich simply because it was the cheapest? Still, the financial motive can be a powerful one.

Security

The security motive is also called the safety motive. As these names imply, customers with this motive want to avoid risk and will be looking for evidence that they are safe from risk.

These customers will want guarantees, warranties, service agreements, maintenance contracts, and insurance – in fact, anything that they perceive will protect them from threat.

Status

The status motive has everything to do with image, which is what this motive is sometimes called. It's indicated by an attraction to elitism, exclusivity, celebrity, luxury, and selectiveness.


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This motive is difficult to respond to because it can make you appear snobbish or shallow. If asked, most people are too embarrassed to admit to the appeal of this motive.

Convenience

The convenience motive is sometimes called the comfort motive. Customers with this motive want to minimize effort and maximize ease. They are looking to avoid difficulties or hassle of any kind.

People motivated by convenience want things to be as straightforward and trouble-free as possible. They will be concerned about anything that might precipitate discomfort or extra effort.

Discovery

Discovery is the motive displayed by customers who are attracted to new experiences. They are not as fearful of the unknown as others can be and are excited by the thought of trying something for the first time.

These customers are interested in innovative, novel, and original aspects of your product or service. They are the risk-takers, and safety is low on their list of priorities.

Don't base your judgment of a customer's motive on one phrase, question, or concern. A recurrent theme is stronger evidence of a person's prime motive for conducting business. Once you have identified what motivates your customers, you can talk to them in the language they want to hear.


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This doesn't mean that you should tell lies to get them to accept what you say. You just need to find opportunities to use words and phrases that emphasize the aspect that you believe they will find most acceptable.

There are many occasions when it is advantageous to have the ability to speak empathetically with your customers – for example, when you want to persuade them or when they are upset and you need to placate them. By using what you have learned here, you will be able to demonstrate to your customers how much you relate to them and their concerns.

If you can do this well, you will be able to gain a more positive reaction from your customers, and enhance your ability to deliver and maintain customer satisfaction.

How to Properly Refuse Customer Requests

t's always awkward refusing requests. It's particularly hard if you need to refuse the request of a customer. But sometimes you just have to do it. If companies

acquiesced to every demand from customers, many would go out of business.

You have to accept this task as one of the least pleasant aspects of your job. However, there are several tactics you can use to make your refusals seem less negative.

Contrary to common belief, customers are not all irrational, unreasonable beings who expect to get their own way every time. Remember that they are doing business on behalf of their own companies and their companies' shareholders. They are honor bound to try to get the best deals they can, just as you are obliged not to give your company's profits

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away. If your refusal is based on sound logic, then your customers will have no grounds to get upset.

Still, it's not easy saying "no" to customers, even when what they are asking for is totally unreasonable. The key is to stay in control.

Because of the common saying, "The customer is always right," many people adopt a passive or submissive approach with customers. Even when they are being unreasonable, you give in to their demands because you fear jeopardizing the relationship or getting into an argument.

Overcoming these fears and maintaining control of your own emotions and logical mindset are the best ways to prevent the escalation of conflict.

It is possible to soften the blow of denying requests without giving in. But you must know why you need to say "no" to help you maintain the right mindset. There are three essential tactics for giving a positive refusal:

1. Stay assertive

To maintain your self-esteem and make clear to the customer that your refusal is not personal, it's important to stay assertive. Assertiveness works on the premise that everyone has entitlements and rights. So the customer has the right to ask, and you have the right to refuse.

Being assertive makes you less prone to being bullied into agreement. It also means that you are willing to accept responsibility for your actions. Don't play the "there's nothing I can do, it's company policy" card, because this gives the


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impression that you don't support your company's position. It's also likely to trigger a request to speak to someone who can effect a change in policy.

Know the rationale behind your company's policies, and be prepared to use it to justify your refusal. Your customers are also in business, and although they may not admit it openly, they understand why it's impossible to grant every customer's request.

Assertive communication is direct and specific and definitely not about aggressive blame. A prime principle of assertive communication is to focus on what is right and not who is right. Don't try to place the blame for the refusal on the customer. On the other hand, don't be passively apologetic, accepting the blame for something that isn't your company's fault.

2. Concentrate on the positive

It's important to concentrate on the positive aspects of the situation and not to dwell on the difficulties. Otherwise, you just talk in circles. Don't talk about what can't be done, but emphasize what can be done.

Concentrating on the positive takes you closer to a mutually acceptable resolution, because it directs focus towards what is still possible and allows your customers to start making choices again. That's why you should offer at least one option for their consideration.


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3. Offer an alternative

Customers expect you to offer an alternative even if they don't ask. You are the expert about what your company can and can't do. Don't make customers second-guess the options, or you'll have to say "no" again.

Before you refuse a request, think about what else you could offer. The alternative doesn't have to be advantageous to the client, but it does have to be workable.

The best approach when refusing a customer request is to stop thinking of it as your problem, and start thinking of it as a difficulty that your customer has asked you to help overcome. You won't automatically lose customers just because you refuse a request, although it's easy to think that you will. As long as your company continues to satisfy most customer needs, then it is possible to say "no" and still maintain strong and healthy business relationships.

Handling Customer Complaints Effectively

f your company is to succeed and grow in the long term, it's vital to take care of your current customers. Existing customers are more profitable than new customers,

because it costs less to service their business. But however hard you try, there are still occasions when things go wrong, and your customers may have cause to complain.

You may be surprised to hear that complaints are good news. This is because complaints signal that customers want to continue doing business with your company. If they didn't, they would just keep quiet and take their business elsewhere. Keep that in mind when you get a complaint,

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because it will remind you that the customer is also seeking to resolve the situation and stay on good terms.

Obviously, it's always better to prevent customer complaints by giving excellent customer service. But as this is not always possible, it's useful to be able to rescue difficult situations, and prevent your relationships with your clients from descending into a sea of bad feelings.

To handle customer complaints, you can apply a simple but effective six-stage technique – one that you can remember by using the acronym PLEASE. The six steps in this technique don't always have to occur in exactly the order shown here, although it is more logical (and easier to remember) if they do:

1. Pacify your emotions The natural reaction to an irate customer is to become irate yourself. However, the more emotional you become, the less logical you will be. It's essential to stay calm, and not to take the complaint personally. Keep your emotions in check by breathing deeply and staying assertive. Your aim is to be helpful without being totally submissive.

2. Listen to the customer When people are upset, they want to be heard, not dismissed. Listening will help you to calm customer emotions, and as a result, they will think and act more logically. Let customers speak, and don't interrupt. Not only is it impolite, but it also sends the message that you're not interested in what they have to say. You may think that


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the problem is insignificant, but if it has generated a complaint, your customer perceives it to be a serious issue. Support your listening with the appropriate noises, nods, and eye contact to show that you're giving them your full attention.

3. Empathize with the customer Show that you understand the reason why the customer is upset, and through that make a stronger connection. Empathy is understanding, not sympathizing with how the customer feels. You can empathize by telling customers that you understand why they feel upset, indignant, disappointed, or even enraged. Put yourself in their shoes, and try to imagine how you would feel in a similar situation. Your sincere empathy will come through in your voice.

4. Apologize or acknowledge the customer When a customer complains, apologize for the situation, or at least acknowledge it. Sometimes this is all customers want. It's not the same as admitting fault. You simply recognize the existence of a problem that requires a solution. Give customers the benefit of the doubt, and never say, "Sorry, but..." in an attempt to push the blame back on to them. In fact, don't try to pass the buck or focus on blame at all. Just accept responsibility for putting things right.

5. Solve the problem Identify how to solve the problem, both reactively (how to handle the immediate complaint) and proactively


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(how to prevent the situation from happening again with another customer). When problems with customers arise, they need to be resolved as quickly and as painlessly as possible, so that business can continue as normal. Customers who have had their complaints dealt with satisfactorily often become your company's most loyal and fervent advocates. If a solution is outside of your authority, tell the customer that you'll look into it and get back to him or her. Don't say, "I don't know what to do." If you're unsure about what the customer wants, ask. Most people who complain have an idea of what solution would be acceptable. If what they ask for is reasonable, accept and implement it quickly. If it's not, find a compromise.

6. End with a confirmation Don't take it for granted that the customer is happy with what has been done until you confirm it. Otherwise, the complaint might resurface. Make sure that you confirm that the customer is satisfied with the solution by asking if everything is fine.

Don't treat customer complaints as problems. If you handle them correctly, your excellent service will impress your customers and give them additional confidence about using your company as a supplier of choice. By using the PLEASE technique, you can ensure that you cover all of the bases before you reach for a solution.


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�Job Aid

Handling Client Complaints

Instruction: Use this job aid to help you to deal effectively with the complaints that you receive from your clients. By using the steps in order you will be able to ensure that you resolve complaints amicably, and maintain good relationships with your clients.

1. Pacify your emotions – The natural reaction to an irate customer is to become irate yourself. However, the more emotional you become, the less logical you will be. It's essential to stay calm, and not to take the complaint personally.

2. Listen to the customer – When people are upset, they want to be heard, not dismissed. Listening will help you to calm customer emotions, and as a result they will think, and act, more logically.

3. Empathize with the customer – Show that you understand the reason why the customer is upset, and through that make a stronger connection. Empathy is understanding, not sympathizing with how the customer feels.

4. Apologize, or acknowledge the customer – Sometimes this is all customers want. It's not the same as admitting fault. You simply recognize the existence of a problem that requires a solution.


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5. Solve the problem – Identify how to put things right, both reactively – to handle the complaint; and proactively – to prevent it happening again with another customer.

6. End with a confirmation – Don't take it for granted that the customer is happy with what has been done, until you confirm it. Otherwise, the complaint might resurface.


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Communicating with Your Managers Communicating with Your Managers Communicating with Your Managers Communicating with Your Managers

and and and and DirectorsDirectorsDirectorsDirectors

Three Effective Ways to Organize Your Verbal Message

enior managers sometimes prefer to be given information verbally. And so you need to be able to communicate the relevant facts clearly, succinctly, and

with minimal opportunities for misunderstanding.

When you communicate with senior executives, whether as an individual or as a member of a group, it is essential that they find it easy to follow what they are being told. They do not have time to waste trying to extract pertinent data from a garbled verbal report.

Fortunately, there are three effective yet simple ways to organize your verbal message to gain maximum understanding. These are useful when the information that you wish to communicate is complex, because they help the listener to comprehend more quickly and more accurately.

These three ways to organize your verbal message are as follows:

• chronologically – according to time

• spatially – according to space

• topically – according to subject

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1. Chronologically

The human brain likes patterns, which is why information that is communicated in a recognizable pattern is easier to follow and easier to remember. When you use the chronological organizational pattern, you convey your information according to time order or chronology. This method is good to use for demonstrations, instructional communication, and anything that may have a biographical, historical, or past-present-future element.

For example, you would organize your information chronologically when describing how a company, product, account, or problem developed over a period of time. You might also arrange your information chronologically when outlining the steps of a process from start to finish. It is not essential to have all of the chronological steps to make sense. You may just want to talk about the past and the present, or the present and the future.

2. Spatially

Arranging information spatially means delivering it in physical elements, components, or parts. For a progress report on the refurbishment of offices, for instance, you could talk about what work has been done in different areas.

3. Topically

You can use topical organization for any information that cannot be organized chronologically or spatially. Topical organization breaks your subject down into a series of sub-topics, such as definitions, characteristics, types, examples, or classifications.


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When presenting information topically, the skill is in arranging your topics in an order that your listener also finds logical. For example, if you were reporting on "Stress in the Workplace" your sub-topics might include:

• the common causes of stress

• recognizing the symptoms

• recommended treatments

Choosing the most appropriate way to organize your information is fundamental to your verbal effectiveness. When there is an element of logic in your organization, your listener can mentally prepare for what is coming, which increases his or her understanding.

Developing your talent as an informative speaker will increase your credibility in the eyes of your managers and senior executives. Make the most of every discussion. Remember, these are great opportunities to use your communication skills to make a good – and lasting – impression.

Persuasion Techniques

n their roles as policy and decision-makers, senior managers are often the gatekeepers who stand between your ideas and the implementation of those ideas.

You may think that your ideas do not get implemented because they are not good enough. But you might not be expressing them in the most convincing way. You have a better chance of success if you present your ideas

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persuasively. Some common methods of verbal persuasion are:

• problem and solution

• comparative advantage

• reason giving

• motivated sequence

These techniques are designed to lead the listener to a specific conclusion, and thereby help you to achieve the decision or support that you desire. You use these techniques all of the time without realizing it.

Problem and solution

Problem and solution has only two parts, so it is quite simple. First you describe the problem and then you outline your suggested solution. For example, you might point out that vital supplies are running low, and suggest that you call the supplier for an immediate delivery.

There may be several elements to both the problem and to the solution, but the basic structure remains the same.

Comparative advantage

The comparative advantage technique directly compares and contrasts the benefits of two or more items, solutions, or options.

Consider the following as an example of how to use this technique with someone who believes that access to supplies always takes priority.


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• Good – You tell your boss that one potential supplier offers a higher discount, but can only deliver once a week.

• Better – You go on to say that a second supplier offers a marginally lower discount, but can deliver any day within 24 hours of order.

Reason giving

With reason giving you use a set of three to five reasons why the listeners should think, feel, believe, or act the same as you do.

For example, you might tell a panel of managers that your belief that there should be a designated telephone number for customer service is based on the fact that it will:

• enable calls to be handled by trained staff

• prevent call queues on the sales lines

• improve customer relations

Motivated sequence

The motivated sequence technique has five steps and is designed to persuade and motivate people to act. Each of the steps is equally important, and none should be missed out.

The motivated sequence steps entail the following:

• Attention – Get attention by describing a situation or fact associated with what you want to achieve.


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• Need – Explain the need that is precipitated by this negative situation or fact.

• Satisfaction – Explain what it will take to satisfy the need.

• Visualization – Ask the listener to visualize the positive effect of rectifying the negative situation.

• Action – Give instructions on how to act to make the change.

These techniques can be used in conjunction with each other as required. However, think through the more complex ones before you get in front of the senior managers who you wish to persuade.

Some of these tactics to persuade are more effective than others in certain situations; for example:

• Problem and solution – The simple problem and solution technique is good for promoting your preferred approach when no other solution is being offered.

• Comparative advantage – is good for emphasizing the superiority of your preferred choice by showing it in the best light. This is especially useful when you know that alternatives are being discussed, but you want to show that yours is the best.

• Reason giving – is best when you have a lot of expertise and facts to support your position.

• Motivated sequence – is for occasions when you want action taken on a negative situation – and you want it now. This method is particularly useful for those make or break occasions when you do not want to lose the


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impetus of the moment, or you fear that you may not get another chance like it.

If you use these persuasion techniques to promote your ideas to the decision-makers in your organization, you have a greater chance of watching them become a reality.

Verbal Transitions

hether you are speaking to inform or to persuade, when you communicate with your senior managers, you always want to impress.

To maximize your listeners' understanding, you must organize your main points, topics, or concepts appropriately. You also need to ensure that your listeners are aware when you move from one point to another with transitions.

Transitions can make your words appear seamless and professional. You should use transitions when you present involved or complex information. They serve as signposts to keep the listener on track as you put your facts or ideas across. Transitions are words, phrases, or actions that help your listener to follow your verbal flow

• from topic to topic

• from main point to main point

• from sub-point to sub-point

Transitions are sometimes called direction words, and listeners use them as a guide through unfamiliar territory. You can use them to connect your ideas, and indicate to the listener that you are about to introduce a contrast, a list, an

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illustration, a summary, a sequence, or an example of cause and effect.

Verbal transitions help your listeners to prepare mentally for what you will say next. They also help them to make the correct connection between what they have just heard and what they are about to hear.

However you need to use the appropriate verbal transitions in the appropriate circumstances as follows:

• Words and phrases such as first , second , too , finally , also , then , and in addition , indicate that there is more to come, such as the rest of a list, or another category.

• These words and phrases are used to show comparisons and contrasts: likewise , equally , in the same way , however , on the other hand , nevertheless , and alternatively .

• Words such as initially , later , next , before , afterwards , and more significantly , tell listeners to expect a sequence. Dates and numbers also signify information given in order.

• Words and phrases such as for example , for instance , in other words , that is to say , or in demonstration , show that an illustration will follow.

• These words and phrases point to a summary of some kind: therefore , in conclusion , briefly , to sum up , as a result , and hence .

• These words and phrases signal an example of cause and effect: If, then , when , since , due to , because of , in view of the fact that , given that , and seeing as .


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You can also use nonverbal transitions, such as pauses and gestures, but these should act purely as supplements to your verbal transitions. Good verbal transitions provide direction and clarity, and can make you sound more professional and coherent.

Transitions help to reinforce your ideas, and signal the direction in which you are going. Transitions ensure that all of the elements of your message are received in their entirety, reducing the chance that listeners will confuse the points that you want to make.

Make the most of your opportunities to impress senior managers, by using verbal transitions to enhance your communication and strengthen comprehension.


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�Learning Aid

Three Presentations

Instruction : Use this learning aid to identify three different techniques to organize and present information.

Here are some extracts of the short presentations that Justin, Dennis, and Christa made at the senior management meeting.

Justin – He talks about the installation of new security cameras around the company campus.

"There are three cameras covering each of the parking lots. To the south of the main building, there is a camera at each end of the walkway and another covering the main entrance. The control center, which will be manned at all times, has been set up on the ground floor in a room behind the reception desk."

Dennis – His topic is some proposed induction training.

"We are instigating this training for three reasons. First, it demonstrates to new employees that the company is committed to staff training. Second, it will ensure that all staff are aware of all of the relevant company policies and standards. Third, it has been proven that staff who attend a formal induction course become fully competent in their job roles faster than those who do not."


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Christa – She talks about the continuing development of a major client account.

"In the first year, we did just over $3,000 worth of business with this company. This was all consultancy. By the end of the second year, this had risen to $25,000, which was split between both consultancy and hardware. This year, the client has started to look into using the system for online purchasing and enterprise resource planning, so we've made some significant hardware sales again. We're on track to achieve more than $100,000 revenue from this client alone."


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�Learning Aid

Communicate to Persuade

Instruction : Use this learning aid to compare different techniques of communicating to persuade.

Georgia – She tells her boss that she thinks he should allow them to rearrange the office. She believes that it would allow the team to work more efficiently, give them all more room, and reduce the amount of noise that they have to deal with when talking on the telephone.

Harvey – He goes to his boss and explains that he's noticed that the same error message keeps appearing on the photocopier. He suggests that, rather than call out an engineer to fix that specific problem and bearing the cost, they should request a routine maintenance call that comes free as part of the service agreement.

Valerie – She has been waiting for her chance to speak at the departmental meeting. When she gets it, she gives statistics about the number of severe injuries that are caused by fire in the workplace. She tells the group that the current practice of propping internal fire doors open is putting lives at risk. This practice would stop if there was adequate air conditioning in the offices. She asks the group to imagine walking into cool offices on a really hot day. Finally, she leads the group to positive action by asking them all to


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confirm their agreement to budget for the necessary equipment.

Corey – During his visit to the western regional offices, the divisional manager asks Corey's opinion about the different options for proposed new accounting software. Corey tells him that, although one option has several sound advantages, the alternative choice would be better for the staff because it has several features in common with the existing software. This would make it easier for them to learn.


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�Learning Aid

Examples of Verbal Transitions

Instruction : Use this learning aid to see the various verbal transitions in context.

Illustration – As an example of sales to the upper echelons consider the IT sector. Key people's individual motivations together with organizational factors such as size, geographical spread, and number of customers – will dictate the type of IT project a company chooses.

Cause/effect – If you look as though you're not at all interested in speaking with them, then they are unlikely to spend time looking at your stand.

Compare – To gauge the quality of service an organization provides it is important tom gauge the views of customers before a service initiative begins. Likewise it is critical that customer satisfaction measures are based upon a customer's perception of what is important.

Contrast – In a recent survey a large percentage of companies said that they considered customer information to be very important. However, only a minority of respondents believed they were fully exploiting the customer information provided.


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Sequence – To turn your dreams of success into reality requires a formula. First you must be, before you can do, before you can have.

Listing – An obvious method is to take a vacation when stress is strong; get away and take a few weeks off to mentally and physically relax. Another solution is to use medication or herbal remedies to help you relax. A different method is to learn to consciously relax the body for a certain period each day.

Summary – Most people have had no training in relaxation and find it difficult to let go; their minds fill with anxiety-arousing thoughts, their muscles stay tense despite their desires to relax them mentally. This state of constant preparation means tension throughout the day, tension you often are not even aware your under. Therefore we have to learn to relax, to learn to identify the sources of tension in our muscles and how to loosen them from the tightness of daily experience.


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�Learning Aid

Presentation Extract

Instruction : Use this learning aid to identify the verbal transitions in this extract from a presentation.

Your body deals with stress much better when it has the energy to do so. Feeling fit can make you feel better about yourself and more able to handle pressure. Exercise actually increases "alpha waves" – electrical brain patterns associated with calmness. The most important person you will ever talk to is not your customer – it is actually yourself. Beware the inner critic, the voice inside your head that highlights your weaknesses and undermines your confidence. When things aren't going well, stop beating yourself up. Instead ask yourself the following three questions: "What can I learn from this? What will I do differently next time? What can I find that is positive in this situation?"


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�Learning Aid

Management Report

Instruction : Use this learning aid to identify verbal transitions in the following extract from a management report.

This report points to a severe management issue, including a serious misunderstanding of the most effective way for managers and supervisors to use their time. Analysis into management behavior reveals that managers don't pre-empt difficulties and take a proactive approach. In other words, managers tend to wait for problems to arise and then react to them. In addition, they spend a disproportionate amount of time on administration and manual tasks, don't delegate work appropriately, and therefore don't allow enough time to focus on the managerial and problem-solving aspects of their roles."


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�Learning Aid

Pearl Speaks

Instruction : Use this learning aid see how Pearl uses verbal transitions in order to maximize understanding of what she has to say.

Pearl is a client services supervisor, and she's been invited to attend a senior management meeting to provide the senior executives with an insight into how that part of the business operates, and why staff turnover is so high. Much of this is new to them, so Pearl must use plenty of verbal transitions to guide them through this information.

Here are some excerpts of what she said:

• We have three prime responsibilities in client services. First, we respond to incoming client inquiries and sort out any billing or service problems. We view client satisfaction as our highest priority. After all, we are called client services. Second, we act as a liaison between our customers and various departments within the organization, such as billing, installations, service, and sales. For example, we coordinate the availability of the customer, the engineer, and the installation crew on any given date. Similarly, we deal with any problems that arise if that availability changes for any reason. Third, we provide statistics to resource planning. They


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use information regarding the number and type of calls we get to identify where our service needs strengthening."

• It's not an easy job, even when it runs smoothly. But it's even more difficult when there are internal problems. For example, we currently have a backlog of installations because many of the installation crews are on vacation. As you can imagine, that puts us under extra pressure, because as well as the usual calls, we also get many more people calling to complain about the delay. That's one reason why we're losing so many staff."

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LeadersLeadersLeadersLeadershiphiphiphip

Communication SkillsCommunication SkillsCommunication SkillsCommunication Skills The fifth module of the course is designed to provide you with the requirements of leadership, how to communicate your suitability for the role, and how to communicate with those you lead. Leadership is not the same as management. Unlike management, leadership does not require formal recognition of authority. However, it does place other requirements on the person assuming the leadership role. Before people will follow, they need to be reassured that their leader is deserving of both their trust and their confidence. Good relationships are paramount, and communication is the prime tool for building those relationships. Once you have been accepted as the leader, good communication will ensure that objectives are agreed upon, understood, and achieved. The following lessons are covered in this module: Lesson 1: Establish Your Leadership Credentials Lesson 2: Communicate the Vision to Your Team Lesson 3: Support and Inspire the Team

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Establish Your Leadership CredentialsEstablish Your Leadership CredentialsEstablish Your Leadership CredentialsEstablish Your Leadership Credentials

Communicating Your Leadership Abilities

our ability to lead is essential to your team's success. Strong leaders know how to guide team members to achieve organizational objectives. They inspire their

team members to excel. However, to be accepted as a leader, you must demonstrate that you are worthy of your position. To do that, you must communicate who you are, what you know, and what you do.

Communicating who you are

As a general rule, people mistrust leaders who are self-serving or unethical. If you want people to follow your lead, you must demonstrate honesty and integrity. You must communicate that this is "who you are" by every word and every action. Don't be tempted to sidestep the truth by being evasive. Avoid unethical actions and decisions. Remember, any sign of dishonesty can damage your credibility.

Communicating what you know

People have little or no confidence in leaders who are incompetent or who lack essential knowledge, so it is necessary to communicate what you know. You must demonstrate your knowledge of your own job, team members' jobs, and the organization.

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First, you must know what is expected of you, and ensure that you have the skills and abilities to perform competently.

Second, stay abreast of what your team members do. If possible, be personally involved in their training and coaching. But avoid micromanaging your people.

Third, know your organization – its people, its policies, its procedures, its products, and its services. Share this knowledge with team members to help them meet team objectives.

Communicating what you do

Visibly contributing to the attainment of organizational goals is another important aspect of leadership. It is difficult to inspire people to follow a leader, who, apparently does nothing. Communicate what you do by using your skills and abilities to help people to reach their goals and overcome difficulties.

Leaders must give practical support by providing positive, workable ideas, plans, and solutions, as well as helping to implement them. People who are supported in this way have confidence in their company and their ability to achieve, and this self-esteem keeps morale high.

As a leader, you need to be able to provide your team members with vision and direction. However, they will only act on what you say if they are convinced that you are the type of person whom they wish to follow. As you work to achieve company goals, remember that your words and actions are communicating who you are, what you know, and what you do.


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Responding to Complaints and Criticism

ood leaders use their skills to develop their people and to encourage their involvement and participation in planning for the team's success. This means that

team members will sometimes voice opposing opinions on how things should be done.

Sometimes these opinions are expressed as complaints and criticism. Your credibility as a leader, in part, hinges on how you respond.

To maintain a healthy relationship with team members who lodge a complaint or criticism, you must listen, demonstrate your concern, and take appropriate action.

The first step is to listen. When team members express dissatisfaction, they will look for evidence that they are being heard. Maintain eye contact. Nod to indicate agreement without interrupting. Ask relevant questions and periodically paraphrase what has been said to be sure you understood.

Resist the urge to become defensive. Don't interrupt with a rebuttal before the point has been made.

Show that you are willing to act, even if it is just to make an initial investigation. Be responsive. Don't ignore criticism in the hope that it will go away. It won't – it will only escalate.

Even if the concern seems to be unwarranted, avoid being dismissive. Don't say things such as: "There's nothing that can be done," or "Don't worry, it will work itself out."

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Invite employee involvement. Use phrases like: "I value your opinion," "I'd like to hear your take on this," or "What would you suggest?" Use these conversations as opportunities to identify possible areas for improvement.

The ability to deal with complaints and concerns is just one of the skills that you need to be an effective leader. To maintain your credibility and to take advantage of opportunities for making improvements, you need to listen to your employees' concerns, demonstrate interest, and take appropriate action.

Enhancing Your Relationship with Your Team

ood leadership involves more than textbook knowledge and intelligence. It also depends upon good people skills.

Your effectiveness as a leader depends on the relationships that you have with your team, and relationships depend on communication. It is important to know how to build the kinds of relationships that will bring you and your team success.

As a leader, everything that you do and say either enhances or harms your relationships with team members. To show your team that you are still worthy of their trust and respect, your words and actions must

• show that you support your team

• display that you have confidence in your team

• demonstrate that you are loyal to your team

Developing strong personal and professional relationships will encourage members of your team to excel. Often they

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will exceed all expectations in their efforts to show that your support, confidence, and loyalty have been well placed.

You can communicate your support by working and interacting with the team. Leading by example and working alongside team members are excellent methods of demonstrating your support.

Giving praise and positive feedback provides a clear sign that you have confidence in your team members. Asking for their opinions also demonstrates belief in their abilities.

Loyalty to your team colleagues can be communicated by looking out for their best interests.

You can establish strong relationships with team members by taking the time to show that you value them and that they have your full backing.

You may have confidence in your team and be prepared to support it and defend it against all threats, but that in itself is not enough. You need to show this through good communication.

If you consistently prove to your colleagues that they have your full support, confidence, and loyalty, then your relationship with them will be based on a solid foundation.


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�Job Aid

Leadership Qualities

Instruction: Use this job aid to review the best leadership qualities and characteristics, and compare them with management qualities.

Leadership traits

The best leadership traits The worst managerial traits

Uses personal power to influence the thoughts and actions of others

Uses the power of position to influence the thoughts and actions of others

Focuses on what needs to be done, leaving decisions to people involved

Focuses on how things need to be done

Focuses on the decision to be made

Focuses attention on procedure

Able to tolerate criticism, and encourages involvement with others

Feels threatened by open challenges to ideas, and troubled by criticism

Acts as a role model, and coaches and mentors others

Issues orders, and expects unquestioning obedience


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Leadership traits

The best leadership traits The worst managerial traits

Focuses on development, and creating an environment for growth

Focuses on supervision, and keeping people on their toes

Looks for opportunities to reward

Looks for opportunities to punish

Promotes the availability of information

Encourages information control

Asks the right questions Knows all the answers

Seeks to learn, and to draw out new ideas

Not interested in new answers

Empowers others Limits and defines others

Acts as a motivator Acts as an instructor

Works towards the achievement of a vision

Works towards the bottom line

Values creativity Imposes discipline

Invites speaking out Demands "respect"

Facilitates Gives orders


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�Learning Aid

Descriptions of Your Team

Purpose: Use this learning aid to find out more about your team of service engineers.

Each member of the team has reacted slightly differently to the difficulties caused by the lack of staff.

• Mike's main complaint about being understaffed and overworked is that he's forced to undertake work that a highly qualified engineer wouldn't touch under normal circumstances.

• Felicity hasn't really complained, although she has shown concern about the situation. She's just diligently set about making her own efforts to assist recruitment by contacting her old colleagues.

• Eddie hasn't complained either, but you know that he is concerned that the company may contract out the work if you can't keep up with demand. He doesn't know how that will affect his long-term prospects.

• Gary is working longer hours than most of the others, but he doesn't book them all as overtime. However, he makes sure that you know exactly how much he's doing, and seems more relaxed when you praise him at a team meeting.

• Alison is the only person who works longer hours than Gary. Her only complaint is that the company hasn't


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acknowledged the extra work that the team is doing with some kind of incentive or performance bonus.


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Communicate the Vision to Your TeamCommunicate the Vision to Your TeamCommunicate the Vision to Your TeamCommunicate the Vision to Your Team

Team-based Goal Setting and Planning

eople want a strong vision of where they are going, and they look to their leaders to give them this direction. When you are called upon to lead, it is your

job to create and communicate the vision to your team – a vision of future success that everyone can share in. It is also a leader's responsibility to help the team make that vision a reality, by setting the necessary goals and planning their implementation.

In team-based or "participative" goal setting and planning, you involve your team in planning its route to the envisioned destination, striving to include everyone in the decisions about getting there.

There are four steps to planning the achievement of the vision as a team. The first is to establish the goals. Once this is done, you can agree to the objectives, assign tasks, and set priorities and schedules.

• Step 1: Establish the goals It has been said that "a goal is just a dream with a deadline," and your goal will remain a fantasy unless you and your team members create a plan of action to accomplish it. A team that has been involved in the planning process will be a lot more enthusiastic when it

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comes to executing the plan. The first step is to establish the goals that will bring about the achievement of the vision. Although these are not measurable, they are more specific than your original vision.

• Step 2: Agree to the objectives The second step is to agree to objectives, again with the active participation of your team. These must be more defined to enable you to evaluate what movement has been made towards achievement of the goal, and ultimately, the vision.

• Step 3: Assign tasks The third step of the planning process is to determine the tasks which will accomplish the objectives. Tasks are concrete, measurable events that must occur if the objectives are to be achieved.

• Step 4: Set priorities and schedules Finally, the team needs to assign a priority for each of the tasks, so that some kind of schedule can be established. This enables the team to determine the order in which the tasks must be accomplished and by what date.

These four steps allow team members to think about and decide on the goals, objectives, tasks, and priorities.

In participative goal setting and planning, you must ask questions to assist team members to generate and assess ideas and to convert them into definite goals, objectives, and actions.


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Ask questions to get the team thinking about what goals, objectives, and tasks will make the vision a reality. To get the most input, start by making these questions as open as possible.

Open questions usually start with words such as "what," "where," "how," "who," "why," and "when," and can only be answered properly with the relevant information.

When enough ideas and solutions have been generated, ask more specific questions to challenge those that you think may be unworkable. Your aim is to "funnel" the team's input and eventually arrive at a set of defined plans and schedules that everyone understands and can follow.

Finally, ask closed questions – questions that can be answered with a "yes" or a "no" – to get the team to commit to a decision or plan.

Assist your team to assess the feasibility of its ideas by being prepared to share your good and bad experiences. Use your good experiences to confirm the probability of success. Use your negative experiences as evidence of possible failure.

Once the team has agreed to a specific and measurable objective, it is easier to determine essential tasks, prioritize them, and build them into a scheduled plan.

The members of a team will take ownership of goals that they have helped to set. With that ownership comes their commitment, and with their commitment comes achievement – for them, for you, and for the company.


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If you want team members to participate in the goal-setting and planning process, you must involve them in making the vision a reality, rather than tell them how to accomplish the goal. In team-based goal setting and planning, your role is to lead the discussion, not to dictate. Your goal is to help your team to consider the implications of their proposed actions so they can arrive at the most realistic and potentially successful plan.

Why You Need to Set S.M.A.R.T. Objectives

ncouraging team members to participate in the goal setting process is a great way to obtain their commitment. They feel more capable of achieving

goals that they have helped to identify. However, identifying the goal is just the first step – you need to be more specific to enable action.

As a leader, your vision motivates and inspires your team to strive to reach a desired destination. Team goals set the general direction in which you must travel to reach that destination. However, the objectives set by the team map out the route to success.

Objectives are based on what has been discussed and agreed upon by the team during the goal setting process. It is your responsibility as the leader and facilitator to extract pertinent information and to formulate those objectives. For maximum effectiveness, your objectives need to be "S.M.A.R.T."

• S – specific

• M – measurable

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• A – achievable

• R – relevant

• T – time-specific

First, your objective has to be specific. It should specify the "who," "what," "when," and "why" so that your team can decide on the "how."

Without this level of definition, it is too easy to create an objective that is so ambiguous that you don't know for certain that it has been accomplished. For example: "All team members must increase their average profit margins by 1 percent by the end of the financial year" is a more definite aim than: "The team must improve its profitability."

Second, your objectives must be measurable. Not all objectives are measurable by extent or quantity, but it should at least be possible to say for sure if the objective has been achieved. If you can't measure success by how much or how many, you must be able to describe how success may be recognized.

Third, the objectives must be achievable. It is also vital that an objective's achievability is within your control and that you have access to the necessary resources. You must also consider all of the possible barriers to success, and whether they can be overcome. In other words, you must be realistic and use previous performance as a basis for projected results. Although setting easily achievable objectives can lead to apathy and disinterest, it is even more demoralizing to be set objectives that are way out of reach.


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For example, if your sales team has never achieved more than a ten percent revenue increase from quarter to quarter, it would be unrealistic to expect it to achieve 20 percent next quarter – particularly if the market is depressed, and several new people have joined the team.

Fourth, the objectives must be relevant. Your objective should be directly relevant to your overall goal. It is essential that its achievement moves you closer to making your vision of the future a reality. If your goal is to greatly increase productivity, is an objective to save money on pens relevant?

Finally, your objectives must be time-specific. An effective objective must involve a time frame or limit so that the individual tasks required to fulfill it can be planned and scheduled. Without some kind of deadline, action – and therefore achievement – will often be deferred indefinitely.

If your objectives meet these S.M.A.R.T. criteria, it will be easier to plan how to achieve them, and thereby change vague hopes and dreams into a concrete strategy. S.M.A.R.T. objectives support the achievement of your goals because they enable evaluation of your progress. They also give a sense of urgency to your plans.

Your chances of meeting your objectives are increased significantly when they are S.M.A.R.T. – specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-specific. When every member of your team is aiming for the same well-defined target, the bull's eye is more likely to be hit!


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Using Power to Communicate Vision

ower and influence are important aspects of communication. Effective leaders derive much of their power from their abilities to influence others positively

and motivate them to achieve. If you aspire to be a person whom others follow, it is essential to learn how to use the most appropriate kinds of power to influence and persuade.

Power comes in many forms. Some of the most common forms are:

• coercive power

• reward power

• legitimate power

• expert power

• referent power

Not all forms of power are conducive to good leadership, because not all foster commitment and some may actually foster resentment. Consider the following examples.

Beth's supervisor, Norma, uses coercive power when she says: "If you don't agree to work late, your lack of cooperation could have a negative effect on your career review."

Lenny's co-worker, Ray, uses reward power when he says: "I'll give you a ride home if you will help me to move these files back to the basement."

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Steve is Bill's boss. He uses legitimate power when he says to Steve: "I'd like you to compile a monthly report on overdue accounts as one of your duties."

Nina's colleagues often do what she advises, because they recognize that she is an expert in her field, and they can learn a lot from her.

The people in Karen's team enjoy working with her and for her. She is kind, fair, honest, and she manages to make working in high-stress environment fun.

Some forms of power are less potent and reliable than others. For example, people who are coerced into cooperating are less likely to be committed and are more likely to look for ways to resist. Similarly, those who are rewarded for collaboration may withdraw cooperation when the incentive ends. Legitimate power only works in situations where one person holds a higher position in the organization than the other.

Good leaders don't use coercive means to influence others; they use their personal qualities and abilities to gain cooperation. They don't rely on the legitimate power of authority because they may not have it. Neither do they depend on the power of giving rewards and incentives. Firstly, this may not be an option, and secondly, its strength completely depends on what you have to offer. There's always the risk that it won't be enough.

But you can always rely on expert and referent power, whatever the circumstances. These forms of power depend on you, not your position or access to resources.


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When you lead others, it is better to build and use expert and referent power by communicating positive traits such as honesty, fairness, consistency, knowledge, and expertise.

You can demonstrate these qualities by speaking assertively and knowledgeably.

• Do give your opinions with confidence

• Do speak assertively by saying: "In my opinion, this is the best option."

• Don't communicate passively by saying: "I could be wrong, but this is what I would choose."

• Do take responsibility for your feelings and avoid blaming others for your emotions and reactions

• Do speak assertively by saying: "I'm really disappointed."

• Don't communicate aggressively by saying: "You've really upset me."

• Do state the facts and not your judgment of the facts

• Do speak assertively by saying: "Based on what I know, I don't agree."

• Don't communicate aggressively by saying: "You obviously don't understand, or you wouldn't disagree."

• Do ask for what you require – don't hint

• Do ask assertively by saying: "I'd like you to be there."

• Don't ask passively by saying: "It would be good if you could make it."

Often what you ask of others requires their total commitment, so you need them to "buy in" to your opinion.


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This is easier for them to do if they are confident in your abilities and trust and respect you as a person.

You can use expert and referent power to influence anyone – colleagues, peers, subordinates, and even those above you in the hierarchy. You don't have to be their boss. Your power to lead comes from what you know and who you are and not what you can give or take away from your staff.

You may have all kinds of power at your disposal, but power built on your expertise, personality, and character gives you influence at all levels and in a multitude of situations.


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�Job Aid

S.M.A.R.T. Objectives

Instruction: Use this job aid to support your understanding of S.M.A.R.T. objectives.

S – Specific – Use this job aid to support your understanding of S.M.A.R.T. objectives.

M – Measurable – How will you know that the objective has been achieved? It's essential to be able to measure the behavior or outcome in some way to enable you to identify progress and completion.

A – Achievable – Make sure that the objective is realistic given the abilities of the people involved, and the resources available. It's good to stretch people, but objectives that are too challenging will only leave them feeling disheartened.

R – Relevant – Your objective should be directly relevant to your overall goal. Also, be sure that achievement of objectives and goals relate directly to the needs of the organization.

T – Time specific – Include an expected time for achievement of the objective or, if it is ongoing, when it will start. This is probably the easiest element to remember. Just think: "No date = no good."


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Support and Inspire the TeamSupport and Inspire the TeamSupport and Inspire the TeamSupport and Inspire the Team

Delegating Power

eadership involves more than giving commands. True leaders know how to identify and clearly communicate business goals. They are quick to recognize the

strengths and abilities of their people and they put these to the best possible use.

To increase your effectiveness as a leader, you should look for opportunities to develop and empower your people. Consider their strengths and their potential, then delegate.

To delegate with success, you must:

• delegate appropriate tasks to people with the necessary skills

• then give them the authority they need to do the work

Delegation should never be used to avoid the jobs that you hate. Delegating "appropriate" tasks means delegating work that others can perform as well or better than you. You might also delegate a task that someone else can do more quickly than you, or one that will impart valuable experience to an aspiring leader.

Delegation can be used effectively to reduce dependency, to increase productivity and efficiency, and to develop future

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leaders. Delegating "appropriate" tasks can help your people to:

• discover new abilities

• gain confidence in their abilities

• become better decision makers

• become more self-reliant

• achieve more innovative results

• build interpersonal communication skills

• develop networks and partnerships outside of the team

However, before you delegate, you must be reasonably sure that the person has the basic skills to carry the task out successfully. The person you delegate to needs to be able to achieve the required outcome without detailed instructions from you or ongoing and continuous assistance.

Another factor necessary for successful delegation is that you take care to delegate authority when that authority is needed to complete the delegated work.

People can't make decisions unless they have the authority to do so. Make sure that everyone is aware that the person to whom you have delegated the task has been give the authority to execute and manage the work.

Avoid the temptation to constantly oversee a delegated task or to dictate precisely how the outcome should be achieved. Give basic requirements and guidelines, then give your people authority and room to maneuver.


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When people are empowered, they grow. Your vote of confidence in their abilities encourages them to look beyond their own areas of responsibility to add value to customers, support colleagues, and assist the success of the entire organization. If you want to become a successful leader, remember to delegate appropriate tasks to people with the necessary skills, then give them the authority (and space) to do the work.

Lead to Inspire Achievement

t is part of a leader's role to create the vision for the future. People rely on their leader to help them to keep that vision in sight, and to inspire them to make it a reality. The

definition of the verb to inspire is to breathe life into something. In order to breathe life into your vision for the team, you must have an abundance of life yourself. This can be demonstrated by being:

• passionate

• energetic

• a good role model

Passionate

People motivated by their loyalty to an inspirational leader push themselves as hard as necessary to make your vision a reality. However, if they see or hear that you have doubts, or that you have lost interest, that motivation will disappear.

Energetic

Your energy and passion have a domino effect, and enthusiasm is contagious. If you do not communicate your

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total belief and commitment, how can you expect others to give 110 percent?

A good role model

Whether your leadership is formally recognized or not, the team looks to you for guidance. Your colleagues trust your judgment and will base their reactions to situations on yours. If you act as though you are inspired, they will act in a similar way.

Fortunately you can learn how to be inspirational. Replicate the following inspirational leadership traits to inspire your team.

• Inspire passion – Inspirational leaders show their passion by maintaining a strong belief in the possibility of future success. They use this positive mental attitude to enthuse others and to keep up morale.

• Inspire energy – Inspirational leaders demonstrate energy by displaying resilience and a willingness to work tirelessly on behalf of their teams and colleagues. They do not give up at the first sign of difficulty, and they encourage others to do the same.

• Inspire by example – Inspirational leaders act as good role models by taking action to assure the team's success. Their actions demonstrate clearly that the good of the team is paramount, overshadowing their personal needs and ambitions.

• Inspire confidence – The best leaders help others to gain confidence from their accomplishments. The more confident people are in their abilities, the more likely they are to meet their targets, aims, and objectives.


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It is not enough to display inspirational qualities. Do not rely on the team's powers of observation – inspirational behavior has to be backed up by inspirational communication.

Do not complain

Be prepared to share your energy. Communicate it to others by sounding energetic and enthusiastic about what you do. Avoid sounding lethargic or apathetic. Do not complain about being tired or overworked. All that does is spread discontentment and dissatisfaction. It also reduces people's belief in their own abilities. They think that if their leader cannot cope, what hope do they have?

Speak with conviction

To communicate passionately, you must communicate definitely. You need to talk with certainty, conviction, and commitment. It is not possible to appear impassioned when you sound unsure.

• Uncertain – do not say: "There is a real possibility that we could reach our targets."

• Certain – instead, say: "We have what it takes to reach our targets."

To be an effective role model, it is important to set and communicate good examples to others. It is also important to communicate your expectation that they, too, can achieve these standards.

A person's belief directs his or her behavior, and that behavior dictates the results produced. Inspire others to believe that they can be winners – and they will be.


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Five Prime Job Motivators

ne of a leader's prime responsibilities is to motivate. However, it is important to remember that people work for a combination of reasons or motivators.

When these motivators are not satisfied, it can make work a chore, or even unpleasant. The five prime job motivators are:

• recognition

• responsibility

• remuneration

• security

• status

Enjoyment of your work stems from various factors, and some will be more important to you than others. When you are a leader, it is essential not to assume that it is exactly the same for everyone. For example, you cannot assume that everyone only works for money.

Although most people would not work for free, few of them would give up an interesting job in nice surroundings with friendly co-workers to do boring work with hostile colleagues, just because it paid more.

Although they may not be conscious of their prime motivators, people are attracted to jobs which they believe will satisfy them.

People with different motivators are satisfied differently.

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• Recognition – People motivated by recognition need to have their work acknowledged. They want appreciation, and they respond to praise, particularly when it is public. They look for respect from colleagues and often seek feedback.

• Responsibility – People who are motivated by responsibility need to be needed. They respond well when they are trusted with key roles and like to feel that their contributions are vital. They will often seek tasks that others shy away from.

• Remuneration – People motivated by remuneration want tangible rewards for their efforts. These people respond well to prizes, bonuses, and other similar incentives. They want to know what is in it for them.

• Security – People motivated by security need to know that their jobs are safe. They respond well to anything that reflects the prospect of a long-term career and employment stability. They will often seek reassurance of job security.

• Status – People motivated by status focus on their position in the corporate hierarchy. They like titles that signify their authority, because they want to impress. These people may emphasize their position more than seems necessary.

It is essential to do your best to recognize which factor is most important to each individual. A one size fits all approach to motivation will not work.

As well as taking every opportunity to use the right motivational incentives, a leader's communication should reflect his or her recognition of what motivates each member


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of the team. Keep your colleagues motivated by using language that appeals to their motivators.

Recognition

This is easy enough if they are motivated by recognition. Simply show your appreciation and give sincere praise whenever it is warranted.

Responsibility

When people are motivated by responsibility, they want to take full ownership of their work, and therefore of the results. Communicate that they are trusted and vital members of the staff who can be given the freedom and authority to achieve something meaningful.

Remuneration

People motivated by remuneration obviously want to hear promises of extra pay and rewards. However, you do not always have the power to authorize additional incentives. It may be inappropriate to do so.

So when you communicate with these people, emphasize the existing returns for good work, and the future rewards that will come with continued good work.

Security

When people are motivated by security, reassure them that their employment is safe if they continue to perform well and to the required standard. Use language that appeals to their preference for constancy, including words such as:


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• consistent

• stable

• unchanged

• continued

• unaffected

Status

If status is their prime motivator, then people seek opportunities to impress, or to make others envy them. They like to feel superior – whether it is because they have a better car, a bigger office, or more authority. Obviously they enjoy having this perceived superiority confirmed by others. To keep them motivated, point out how they can attain a higher standing through their work and associated achievements.

Motivating your team helps you to foster a cooperative team spirit and a positive environment that encourages people to come to work every day and do their best.


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�Job Aid

Motivation Profile

Instruction: Use this job aid to create your motivation profile by identifying the comparative importance of various motivational factors in your job.

Starting with pay compared to working environment, compare the factors and record your preference. You can use the following keys for the aspects:

• Pay = pay and bonuses

• WE = working environment

• PP = promotion prospects

• R = recognition

• C = colleagues

• ST = status

• FM = fair management

• JS = job security

• CH = challenge

For example, if out of pay versus working environment, pay is more important to you, then record "PAY".


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Work along until you have compared the importance of pay against all the other factors. Repeat this exercise for the next factor – working environment – comparing its importance against all the other factors, and so on with the next factor in the list.

Don't repeat any comparisons. For example, you don't need to weigh challenge against status, because you will have already weighed status against challenge.

Add up how many times you used each code and record the total.

Finally, rank the importance of the factors, with the aspect that appears most often being number one.


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�Job Aid

Prime Motivators

Instruction: Use this job aid to review the characteristics of people who are motivated by the five prime motivators.

Recognition

These individuals most want to be recognized for their achievements on the job. Find opportunities to give sincere praise for success. Take the time to acknowledge good work immediately, if you notice someone doing something well. Publicly thank people for handling a situation well, or even write them a note that they can show their friends and colleagues.

Responsibility

These individuals will be more motivated to do their jobs well if they have ownership of their work. This requires giving employees enough freedom and power to carry out their tasks so that they feel they "own" the result. As individuals mature in their jobs, provide opportunities for added responsibility. This is not the same as just giving them more work. Find ways to provide them with challenge, greater freedom, and authority.


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Remuneration

These individuals are rare, because they are willing to do almost anything for money or financial gain. They are only easy to motivate if you have access to unlimited resources. Otherwise, you are always in danger of losing them to a higher bidder.

Security

These individuals are not natural risk takers, and need to know that they can rely on their leaders for creating and implementing strategies that will sustain the viability of the company. They are more motivated if they believe that they are working towards assuring the continued success of the organization, and the stability of their roles within it.

Status

These individuals like others to realize their importance or superior positions, and so need outward signs of success. This might be reflected in their job titles, their cars, the size of their desks, or even the position of their offices. These people will prefer a performance-related pay raise to be accompanied by a change of job title, or some other indicator of what they have attained.

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Resolving Conflict WithResolving Conflict WithResolving Conflict WithResolving Conflict With

Communication SkillsCommunication SkillsCommunication SkillsCommunication Skills The sixth module of the course is designed to give you an understanding of the various causes and outcomes of conflict, together with a practical demonstration of the styles and communication involved in the negotiated resolution of one to one conflict. You will also learn how to act as a third party mediator or arbitrator in situations where the parties concerned seem unable to resolve the dispute unaided. The following lessons are covered in this module: Lesson 1: Understanding Interpersonal Conflict Lesson 2: Negotiating a Resolution Lesson 3: Mediation in the Workplace

MMMoooddduuullleee


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LessoLessoLessoLesson 1n 1n 1n 1

Understanding Interpersonal ConflictUnderstanding Interpersonal ConflictUnderstanding Interpersonal ConflictUnderstanding Interpersonal Conflict

Creating Constructive Conflict

onflict in the workplace can be used either as a constructive or a destructive force. Knowing how to recognize the difference enables you to react to it

effectively.

There are two broad types of conflict, cognitive and affective.

• Cognitive conflict – focuses on substantive, task-related differences and therefore can be functional.

• Affective conflict – on the other hand, centers around feelings and personalities rather than issues and, as such, is usually destructive.

The dangers of affective conflict

All too often, what starts out as cognitive conflict ends up as affective conflict as egos and feelings distract people's attention from the core issue. Discussion moves from what is right to who is right. When issues get tangled up with emotions, the conflict becomes much more difficult to resolve, and has a much greater potential to seriously damage your working environment and, therefore, productivity.

C

Resolving Conflict with Communication Skills

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Creating cognitive conflict

Differences of opinion can be productive if managed properly. They can stimulate ideas and innovations. To achieve this, you must create a climate that encourages cognitive conflict.

There are four methods of creating this climate.

• Welcome the input of others – it may clarify or complement your own thoughts and ensures relations remain cordial.

• Focus on the issue, not the person – by avoiding personal criticism, sarcasm, and blame, you ensure facts stay to the fore and emotions are kept in check.

• Focus on your target, not your position – you risk straying from your original goal if winning the argument becomes more important than getting what you need.

• Focus on the future – do not refer to past incidents unless they are relevant to the current situation, otherwise you may cause resentment that will lead to affective conflict.

Remember, for logical and effective communication, keep your eye on the target and avoid introducing emotion or personalities into discussions.

Controlling Conflict

working environment either fosters conflict or helps avoid it. By creating the right conditions, you can either prevent conflict or turn it into a positive force. A


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The three most common sources of conflict in the workplace are

1. change

2. competition

3. communication

These three "Cs" cause conflict for several reasons.

• Change – change can create conflict because people feel uncertain and threatened when they are faced with unfamiliar situations. People are also naturally territorial and will defend what they see as their domain. Change also brings more opportunities for misunderstandings.

• Competition – competition can also lead to conflict because it pushes people to promote their own interests and neglect the needs of others. Competition may be especially intense when resources are scarce.

• Communication – communication, if not clear and tactful, can also create conflict. Words must be chosen carefully. Sometimes people may actually agree, but their interpretation of each other's communication leads them to believe there are differences.

How to minimize conflict caused by change

The best way to ensure change causes minimal little conflicts to make the transition as smooth and as inclusive as possible.


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Inform everyone as far as possible in advance that change is coming – this avoids the shock of a sudden switch and gives them time to voice their opinions. You do not have to agree, but at least any disagreements are more likely to be about the nature of the changes and not the way they were imposed.

How to minimize conflict caused by competition

To prevent competition for resources from generating destructive conflict, it is vital to keep everyone, yourself included, focused on the big picture.

Remind others that the decision concerning who should get the resources should be measured by the company's goals, and not by people's positions or feelings.

How to minimize conflict caused by communication

To ensure communication does not generate conflict, always be as clear as possible.

The same words can mean different things to different people, so use terms that leave no room for doubt. For example, avoid saying "I'd like you to have this finished as soon as possible," and instead set an exact deadline.

Interpersonal conflict is to some extent inevitable because competition, communication, and change are fundamental to successful business.

However, you can ensure conflict arising from these sources is constructive and kept to a minimum by keeping everyone affected informed of change before it happens, focusing on the big picture to prevent competition from generating


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destructive conflict and by being as specific as possible to avoid conflict over communication.

Working with Cognitive Conflict

onflict is inevitable and should be viewed as a process that needs to be understood and managed. It is essential to know the various outcomes that can

result from conflict so that you can make it work positively for you and your company.

• Avoid conflict based on feelings and emotions; it is usually destructive.

• Encourage – to an extent – conflict centered on tasks and operational issues. This is called cognitive conflict. Frequently, a difference of opinion sets improvements in motion. However, when there is too much or too little conflict, even cognitive conflict can cause problems.

Problems

Too little cognitive conflict can cause two consequences.

• Stagnation – A stagnant company does not generate new ideas and therefore does not move forward.

• Instability – Staff get bored in a stagnant company and may leave to work elsewhere, causing high staff turnover and low continuity.

Too much cognitive conflict may also lead to undesirable states.

• Inactivity – If too much time is spent talking, not enough work gets done.

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• Inefficiency – Trying to take everyone's opinion on board may result in a compromise that simply does not work.

Striking the right balance

You can achieve the right level of cognitive conflict in your work place by applying two principles.

• Encourage staff to express their ideas – This has the twin benefit of making them feel appreciated and eliciting interesting points that would not otherwise have been articulated.

• Emphasize the primacy of the task – Create a culture that welcomes any contribution that brings the business closer to its goals, no matter who it comes from. By insisting that the task is the priority, you limit the potential for damaging personal conflict.

When staff feel their input is respected, their sense of loyalty to the company is stronger, and there is less likelihood of them leaving to work elsewhere – this promotes stability within the company.

Striking the right balance in terms of cognitive conflict is the key. You need to ensure the climate in your culture lets good ideas thrive so that the business can continue to grow. However, the cognitive conflict process must not become more important than the business – the bottom line is all roads should lead to the task.


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�Job Aid

Conflict Resolution Strategies

Instruction: Use this job aid to identify your preferred conflict resolution strategy.

How you resolve conflict is determined by what takes priority for you – results or relationship. Answer the following questions and then count the numbers of each letter selected.

1. When someone offends you, which of these best describes your typical reaction?

• a – I ignore it

• b – I try to understand why they are behaving badly

• c – I try to reason with the person

• d – I let them know firmly how I feel

2. Conflict is brewing between two of your co-worke rs. You would be most likely to:

• a – avoid both of them until it is over

• b – observe the situation carefully prior to acting

• c – act as mediator

• d – let them know how disappointed I am


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3. Your boss makes an unreasonable work request on a Friday afternoon that will take you most of the weekend to complete. What would you do?

• a – grin and bear it

• b – find out more about why it is necessary, then comply

• c – suggest alternatives to get the job done without working excessive hours

• d – laugh and let your boss know that you have a life outside of work

4. If a client or customer became angry and hostile , your reaction would be:

• a – remain quiet. After all, the customer is always right

• b – hear him out, trying to understand the problem from his perspective

• c – begin thinking about creative solutions to the problem

• d – ask him to calm down and then loudly explain my position

5. You've just had a huge misunderstanding with a c o-worker. How would you resolve it?

• a – leave it alone

• b – wait a few days before initiating contact. Time will put things into perspective

• c – make an effort to talk through what happened

• d – try to get the person to understand my position


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6. A heated argument breaks out during one of your meetings. How would you handle it?

• a – adjourn the meeting and leave

• b – keep quiet and watch

• c – try to facilitate the discussion

• d – take sides with the person who agreed with me

7. One of your greatest strengths is:

• a – the ability to stay out of trouble with people

• b – reading between the lines

• c – persuading others

• d – getting others to do what I want them to do

8. When having serious disagreements with someone, you often:

• a – remain quiet and hope it will blow over soon

• b – listen and make sure I understand his point of view

• c – think of ways I can get the other side to understand my position

• d – continue talking until I am sure the other person understands

Now add up all of your A, B, C, and D answers. Your preferred conflict resolution strategy depends on which letter you chose most often.

Mostly A's means avoidance – You withdraw to avoid conflict. You believe it is hopeless to try to resolve conflict,


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and easier to step back from a conflict situation. The avoidance style leads to a "lose-lose" approach.

Mostly B's means accommodation – You feel that relationships are more important than your own goals. You want to be liked and accepted, and harmony is the most important thing. You choose a "lose-win" approach.

Mostly C's means collaboration – You value your own goals and relationships equally highly. You consider conflicts as problems to be solved, and want everyone to achieve their goals. You're not satisfied until an acceptable solution is found for both parties. You choose a "win-win" approach.

Mostly D's means aggression – You try to overpower the other party by forcing your solution on the other person. This style is considered a "win-lose" approach.


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�Learning Aid

Recognize the Sources of Conflict

Instruction: Use this learning aid to recognize the three common sources of interpersonal conflict in the workplace.

Example 1

Carol and Lorraine argue because Carol is adamant that the training department has been given the authority to share the marketing department's new state of the art projector. Lorraine says she hasn't been told of any such arrangement, and as far as she's concerned, Carol still needs her permission to use it.

Example 2

Simon is making a presentation to the senior management team of a key account client in two weeks' time. The presentation is on Thursday, and he'd like to have everything he requires by Tuesday of that same week. That's twelve days away. He needs Penny to make a contribution to the proposal that he's presenting, and tells her that he requires the information "in good time", so that it can be added to the presentation material. She takes him to task for giving her less than a week's notice.


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Example 3

Sam asks to book the boardroom for a meeting of the managers in his region. Janine, the CEO's personal assistant, tells him that it isn't available. Apparently, it's been booked for a work lunch by the promotions team. She offers him one of the other meeting rooms, but he says it's not suitable. Sam calls Mark, the manager of promotions, to ask if he'll switch. Mark says that's not possible, and they have an argument.


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�Learning Aid

Five Disagreements


Finn and Andrea argued over who should have the desk next to the window in the new office. Finn said that he had to be near the printer, but Andrea said that didn't give him precedence because she also needed easy access to it.

Brad and Monica disagreed when Brad asked Velma to attend the management meeting on his behalf. Monica questioned his decision, and was told that it was because her experience was limited. Monica was quick to point out that she had worked in the department for much longer than Velma, and it looked like favoritism to her. Brad agreed, but clarified by saying that unlike Velma, she had never made a formal presentation before.

Stan and Patrick, the new team leaders, disagreed over the allocation of work. Stan said that he'd always handled major accounts and didn't see why there had to be a reallocation anyway. Patrick said that everyone should have experience with key client accounts because these accounts required very specific skills.


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Tommy and Rita disagree because Tommy has told Rita that as of next week she is being transferred to another team. She says she wants to stay where she is, but Tommy is insistent that she needs to get some experience with export procedures.

The department has been given a budget for office refurbishment. Edwin and Francine, the section leaders, are given the job of allocating the budget, but can't agree on what it should be spent on. Edwin says the carpet should be replaced, Francine thinks the carpet should just be cleaned and the money spent on new chairs.


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�Learning Aid

Greg's Week of Conflict


It was not a good week for Greg. First, he had an argument with Nicole when he discovered she had reallocated the employee parking spots. Now he and his team have to park way over on the other side of the lot. He can't understand the logic behind moving them just so the occasional visitor can park near the front door.

Then, he had a falling out with Evan, one of the IT support staff. All Greg wanted was for someone to fix a small network problem, but after four weeks there was still no action. So, he stopped Evan in the hallway and asked why IT seemed to spend all their time in accounting but couldn't spare fifteen minutes for his department. As usual, Evan had plenty of excuses.

Finally, he had heated words with Gemma, his team leader. When he asked her how long it would take to finish her sales report, she said it would be completed by the end of the week. When he told her that wasn't good enough, she accused him of being unreasonable and that nobody could get it done before Thursday morning. Actually, he thought she'd meant Friday afternoon.


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�Learning Aid

The Results of Cognitive Conflict

Instruction: Use this learning aid to determine whether the problem workplace scenarios were caused by too much or too little cognitive conflict.

Campbell – He is going to visit a new client. He asks his colleagues for some advice on what he should take and what he should say. One of them says, "You should definitely take as much sales literature as you can." "No, that's a waste of time. What you need is one of the qualified sales presenters," says another. A third person interrupts by saying, "What use will that be? This isn't a sales call." The discussion rages on and on, with Campbell trying to extract the pertinent information from all that is being said. Eventually he looks at his watch and realizes that he's running late for the appointment.

Mack and Ursula – The company's procedure for recording production mistakes is being changed radically to conform to new legislation. Mack, the production manager is furious because changing it will be so time consuming. He likes his system – it's been the same for eight years and it's never let him down. Over the four years she has been with the company, Ursula has been tempted to suggest to Mack that his procedure could be improved, but she has never spoken up. She didn't want to stir things up when there was no need. Everyone on the team gets along well and she didn't want to


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spoil that. Now it seems that if she had, then this legislation wouldn't require such significant changes.

Alan – He isn't the manager, but sometimes he acts like it. It's always Alan that speaks up first during meetings, it's always Alan that challenges the manager's suggestions, it's always Alan that disputes what his colleagues say or suggest as workable options. Now, it seems it's always Alan's suggestions that get adopted, but maybe that's because nobody else speaks up. His latest idea was totally unworkable, but nobody intervened to stop him from putting it into action. Now the section has a crisis on its hands, and everyone has to work together to resolve the problem.

Joyce, Stuart, and Richard – They are working together on a building project. Much of the planning work is already done, but there remains the matter of the door. Joyce thinks they should have something old, wide, and imposing. She thinks that will give a great impression. Stuart thinks there should be more than one door because it's more practical. In Richard's opinion, there should be a revolving door and two separate swinging doors. All three stick to their opinions, challenging every solution that the others present. Their inability to reach a decision delays the start of the building by two weeks.


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�Learning Aid

Four Teams

Instruction: Use this learning aid to determine how too much or too little cognitive conflict affected four teams.

Out of the four creative teams in the agency, Anne's team is definitely the most successful. The reasons for the lack of success of the remaining three teams are obvious to anyone on the outside, and most of those are caused by cognitive conflict.

Casey's team – In her team, everyone has a different idea or suggestion and everyone wants their opinion to be the one that counts. They constantly miss deadlines and their clients complain that some of the concepts they come up with are confusing.

Kate's team – There's no doubt who is the driving force on Kate's team – it's Kate. As she constantly reminds them, she's been in the business for fifteen years and she knows a great deal about advertising. They don't miss deadlines, but clients often complain that the campaigns are repetitive and lack freshness.

Trudy's team – Trudy seems to have a lot of bad luck when it comes to keeping her team together. Apart from Carlo, who's been with her for a few years, nobody else seems to stay for more than six months. Actually, it's Carlo who


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virtually runs the show. He certainly keeps the new employees in their places and even does the same to Trudy on occasion.


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�Learning Aid

Miles and Co.

Instruction: Use this learning aid to determine the impact of too much or too little cognitive conflict in three separate workplace situations.

Miles – The secret of Miles' managerial success is teamwork and harmony. Unfortunately, because he's such a good manager many of his people get "hijacked" by other managers within the company. He's always surprised when people transfer because this is such an agreeable working environment compared to some of the other departments, then he gets the hard work of recruiting and training new employees.

Keisha and Paul – While Keisha and Paul are working together in the order processing section, Keisha suggests how she thinks parts of the process could be made significantly faster. Paul agrees that her suggestions would probably work, but adds that he's not so sure that their boss, Kyle, would agree. Paul reminds her that Kyle prefers to have things done his way. Keisha agrees and says nothing more.

Sally and Darren – Sally, a team leader, decides to change one of the administrative procedures. It's only been in


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operation for two weeks when Darren, another team leader, challenges its effectiveness and demands that the procedure be changed back to how it was. This disagreement continues back and forth for several weeks. Obviously, the employees become confused – some of them use the original system, while others use the new one. This causes all kinds of problems that it takes months to sort out.


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Negotiating a ResolutionNegotiating a ResolutionNegotiating a ResolutionNegotiating a Resolution

Negotiation Strategies

egotiation is not simply about winning or losing. It is about finding a positive way forward from a situation where parties appear to have conflicting interests.

There are five different strategies for negotiating:

1. avoidance

2. accommodation

3. aggression

4. compromise

5. collaboration

The strategy you use will depend on the importance you attach to preserving a good relationship with the other party relative to the importance of getting the result you want. For example, you are more likely to accommodate another person's wants when you are eager to preserve the relationship.

However, if the result of the negotiation takes precedence, you are more likely to negotiate aggressively. Of course, things are not always so clear cut.

You will probably use all of the following strategies at one time or another.

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• Avoidance – is a useful strategy in cases where neither the result nor the relationship is of particular significance to you. It may also be used if you think the means for achieving the result would not be justified by the end, or that pursuing the issue would be pointless because you would have no chance of succeeding.

• Accommodation – may be useful if nurturing a good relationship with the other party is especially important to you. This may entail giving in to demands in order to be liked and to prevent conflict. You would opt for this strategy if you believed conceding ground on the issue at hand would help you gain ground in the long run.

• Aggression – as a strategy is most likely to be used in cases where your prime concern is to resolve the conflict your way, and to achieve the result you want. This tactic is often used when there is an emergency, when you are short on time, or when decisive action is needed.

• Compromise – or give and take is a very common negotiation strategy. It is usually employed when both the relationship and the results are moderately, but equally, important to you. Compromise can also provide a temporary solution – it does not fully satisfy the wants of both parties because nobody gets exactly what they want. However, neither party has completely given up on achieving their wants and needs.


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• Collaboration – is best to use when it is very important to maintain a good relationship, but it is also essential to achieve results.

When you use collaboration, you are interested in seeing that everyone's needs are met fully. For this, you must be creative and solution-oriented. Frequently, collaboration generates an answer to the problem that had not been considered before. It also solidifies positive working relationships.

Effective negotiation

All of these negotiation strategies may prove valuable at a given time. However, it is preferable to collaborate if you want both your business and your important long-term relationships to thrive.

Dealing with interpersonal conflicts the right away, through effective negotiation, helps bring about an atmosphere of open communication, conscious cooperation, and increased productivity.

Collaborating to Succeed

ollaboration is usually the most sensible negotiating strategy because it is the least confrontational and the most creative. This usually ensures sound working

relationships and long-lasting solutions.

The aim of collaboration is to achieve a solution where everyone wins. The qualities required for effective collaboration are:

• assertive communication

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• empathy

• creativity

Assertive communication

Assertive communication means straightforward, direct talking. By employing it, you create the right atmosphere for collaboration by showing you do not have a hidden agenda. This gives the other party more confidence in the negotiation process.

Assertive does not mean aggressive. Aggression betrays the intent to dominate and perhaps to achieve your results at the expense of the other party. This is divisive. Assertive communication, on the other hand, proves your intention to communicate and reach a mutually satisfactory solution.

Avoid passive communication. It is too submissive. If you communicate passively, you have lost sight of your goals. It means that rather than striving to achieve what is best for you, you focus excessively on the other party's wants because of the desire to please.

Empathy

It is essential to display consideration for the other party's point of view, even if you do not agree with it – this breeds trust and understanding, meaning people's minds are not distracted by rivalry, and they can give free reign to their creativity.


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Creativity

The objective of collaboration is to produce a solution that suits everyone. This requires creative problem solving.

To be creative, one must have an open mind. Be prepared to share your ideas and to listen to those of others. Do not cling rigidly to one outcome – be flexible, and examine the needs of all parties to see if there is another workable option. By keeping your mind open, you expand the range of possible outcomes. You can only benefit from this.

The key to creative problem solving is to approach the conflict as a shared problem, focusing on the issues, and not people's positions.

Cultivating collaboration

To collaborate successfully is to find a solution that works for everyone involved. To achieve this ideal, your must communicate assertively, but not aggressively. Be clear, but not confrontational. This creates an atmosphere in which people work with each other, rather than against each other. And this in turn enables people to find creative solutions to problems.

If you are prepared to negotiate collaboratively and to encourage others to do the same, conflict can result in a win-win situation for everyone involved.

Making Conflict Work

lthough it is preferable to resolve difficult situations through cooperative negotiation, it is not always possible, practical, or appropriate. Sometimes the best A


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route is confrontation.

When to confront

The goal of constructive confrontation is to deal with unacceptable conduct or performance and to bring about a change. It may be appropriate when:

• you have little time to discuss alternatives

• you do not have enough trust in the other parties to explore alternatives with them

• there simply are no alternatives

How to confront

To make confrontation work for you, you must be:

• assertive

• current

• specific

There are several ways to translates this into practice.

Assertive – When you enter a confrontation, you must deliver your point clearly and directly. Stick to the issue, do not make any judgments about the person or the motives behind the confrontation, otherwise the point may become blurred.

Current – If you choose to confront, you must do so at the right time. The right time is as soon as possible after the relevant incident occurs, when everyone is clear about exactly what happened.


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Delaying action increases the possibility of conflict because, firstly, both parties become more concerned about proving what really happened, and, secondly, your own anger festers, possibly paving the way to a destructive conflict.

Specific – When you confront unacceptable behavior, you need to precisely express the problem and the changes you want to see in the future. The other person should know exactly what is expected of her, and your words should not be ambiguous or open to individual interpretation – say, for example, "Come in at 9 o'clock," rather than "come in earlier."

Avoid degeneration

Confrontation can degenerate into conflict all too easily if it is not handled correctly. To avoid this, make sure you communicate clearly and do not mix up facts with opinions or feelings.

In addition, do not let an intolerable situation drag on – nip it in the bud. By dealing with it, you prevent it from escalating.

Progress

Finally, state clearly to what you want to happen, and do not leave it open to the other person's interpretation. Be precise also about the consequences of non-compliance.

If you keep your confrontations assertive, specific, and current, you have a good chance of being both constructive and successful.


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�Job Aid

Communicate to Collaborate

Instruction: Use this job aid to compare and contrast the different communication styles and the affect they have on achieving your goals in a negotiation.

Characteristics of communication styles

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Characteristics You don't express your wants, ideas, and feelings, or you express them in a self-deprecating way. Your intention is to please.

You express your wants, ideas, and feelings in direct and appropriate ways. Your intention is to communicate.

You express your wants, ideas and feelings, and this sometimes comes at the expense of others. Your intention is to dominate or humiliate.


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Your feelings when you act this way

You feel anxious and disappointed with yourself. Later these feelings turn to anger and resentment.

You feel confident and good about yourself both at the time and later.

You feel self-righteous and superior. However, sometimes you feel embarrassed later.

Other people's feelings about themselves

They feel either guilty or superior.

They feel respected and valued.

They feel humiliated and hurt.

Other people's feelings about you

They feel irritation or pity.

They usually feel respect.

They feel angry and vengeful.

Expected outcome

You don't get what you want so anger builds up inside you.

You often get what you want, even if you don't you retain your self-esteem.

You often get what you want but it's at the expense of others. They feel justified in "getting even."


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Payoff You avoid unpleasant situations, conflict, tension, and confrontation.

You feel good about yourself and respected by others. Your confidence in yourself and your relationships with others is improved.

You get to vent your frustrations and you feel superior, if only temporarily.


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Mediation in the WorkplaceMediation in the WorkplaceMediation in the WorkplaceMediation in the Workplace

Obstacles to Mediation

orkplace mediation offers important benefits to both employers and employees. It provides fast, creative, mutually-satisfactory solutions.

If the mediator is trusted and all parties believe they have had a fair input into the process, these solutions last longer, and work better than those that have been imposed or enforced.

However, there are a few reasons why mediation may fail:

• one or more of the parties may confuse mediation with arbitration

• the mediator lacks credibility with one of the people concerned

• the mediation is poorly timed

For mediation to succeed, it is essential for everyone involved in the process to understand the difference between it and arbitration.

• Mediation – is a confidential process whereby a neutral third-party facilitator helps people discuss difficult issues and negotiates a mutually acceptable agreement. The mediator does not have any decision-making

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power about the outcome – parties in mediation create their own solutions.

• Arbitration – is a process whereby a neutral third party listens to the arguments put forward by both parties and reviews the evidence. The arbiter generally then decides on the final resolution, and both parties must accept it.

Explain the process

It is vital that the parties understand they are in a process of mediation, and not of arbitration. If they understand that it is not a win-or-lose situation and that they can help mold the solution, the parties will approach the process in a constructive way.

However, if they believe some undesirable outcome may simply be foisted upon them, they will not participate meaningfully.

The mediator's role

The mediator also has to know the limitations of his role – he must not try to exert excessive influence on the outcome, believing he is the person who should decide the best way forward.

He is there to get the parties communicating properly so they themselves find the resolution that suits them best.

If you are the mediator, you must be seen as credible. If either of the disputing parties lacks faith in your ability to understand the situation, to be fair, or to be neutral, then the mediation is doomed.


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When to mediate

Mediation needs to be well-timed in order to be successful. Disputing parties will usually only agree to mediation when they can see no other way of getting satisfaction – it is basically a last resort for them. If you offer to mediate before they have explored all other options, they will not take the mediation seriously because they will be concentrating on pursuing those other options.

On the other hand, if you wait too long to mediate, the dispute may intensify as bitterness and anger grow deeper. Once these feelings take root, it is much harder to get the parties to focus on the issues – destructive conflict looms.

Mediation can be successful when:

• its purpose is clearly understood by all parties

• the mediator is recognized as impartial and competent

• it is introduced at a time when it suits all parties to seek a negotiated resolution

It is not easy, but when successful, mediation mends and preserves damaged working relationships and fosters mutual respect through improved communication.

How to Mediate

workplace mediation facility can resolve a lot of difficult situations before they reach the point where parties are so firm in their positions that they refuse to

contemplate more creative solutions. A


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Mediation is a voluntary process, therefore, each party must agree to it and be willing to look for a solution.

The mediator's function

The mediator's function is to lead and manage communication between the parties in conflict. It is essential that you remain impartial and concentrate on steering the process and not the content.

In a good mediation process, the mediator follows six steps:

1. set the ground rules

2. listen to the story

3. identify the issues

4. get parties to communicate their feelings

5. encourage parties to identify solutions

6. formalize the resolution agreed on by the parties

It is important to get each of these steps right. They are explained here.

• STEP 1: Ground Rules – You need to set the ground rules to create an agenda, and gain both party's commitment to behavior that is conducive to success. The ground rules also ensure that people feel in control and empowered throughout the process.

• STEP 2: Listen to the Story – Give all parties the chance to describe the issue from their own point of view. A mediator can only guide people to agreement once they feel their side of the story has been taken on board.


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It is therefore vital that you listen, clarify, and confirm that you – and the other parties – have understood them correctly.

• STEP 3: Identify the Issues – Once the stories have been heard, it is possible to work with the participants to determine the underlying issues. These should then be summarized and prioritized for the mediating parties so that they can focus on the problem areas.

• STEP 4: Communicate Feelings – Ask appropriate questions to get the parties to identify how the issues are affecting them emotionally. It is important that these feelings are released, otherwise they may come to the surface at a later date.

• STEP 5: Identify Solutions – Ask both parties to contribute potential win/win solutions. Each of these should be discussed, clarified, and checked for practicality and acceptability.

• STEP 6: Formalize the Resolution – Once the acceptable solutions have been decided on, the mediator writes up voluntary agreements for the parties to sign. Written agreements are preferable to verbal ones because they provide a permanent record so there can be no future dispute over what was or was not agreed.

The mediation process can be quite long. However, every step is vital and should not be bypassed. There are no shortcuts to conflict resolution.


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The Roles of the Mediator

ery few people enjoy conflict in the workplace. It creates tension and negativity and can reduce the performances of everyone directly or indirectly

involved. That is why it is useful to have someone with the skills and personal qualities to act as a mediator.

Qualities of a mediator

To mediate effectively, you must be trustworthy, impartial, discreet, and an excellent communicator.

Roles of the mediator

These qualities will help you fulfill the four roles of the mediator, which are:

1. facilitator

2. translator

3. clarifier

4. catalyst

The requirements of each of these roles are explained here.

• Facilitator – facilitating means ensuring that each party is encouraged to communicate by showing you are genuinely listening to what they are saying. You can show that you are listening, for example, by simply restating what they say. This encourages parties to open up and talk freely about the problem as they see it.

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• Translator – translating entails keeping the channels of communication open, the environment positive, and preventing miscommunication. You can achieve this by paraphrasing anything that one party might misinterpret or find offensive so that it will seem more favorable. Do not change the original meaning, or you will be over stepping your role and risk angering the parties.

• Clarifier – clarifying means probing issues and helping the parties discuss the factual basis of each other's thoughts. This enables them to put what has happened in the past in another context and perhaps to devise new ways of progressing amicably.

• Catalyst – acting as a catalyst entails proposing options for the parties to consider. This stimulates the discussion of potential solutions and thereby helps the parties reach agreement.

Reaching Resolution

Movement towards a solution is only possible when each party has expressed the three things:

1. what they think is wrong

2. what changes they want to see happen in the future

3. why they want to see this happen

Facilitator – In your role as facilitator, you will encourage people to express these three things.

Translator – As a translator, you will ensure they are expressed in a positive way.


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Clarifier – As a clarifier you will eliminate ambiguity and make sure everyone understands them clearly.

Catalyst – You can play your role of catalyst by subtly suggesting one possible outcome – this may prompt the parties to get working on a solution themselves.

Overall, the most important skill for a good mediator is the ability to communicate clearly, tactfully, and deliberately. If you can do this, you can help disputing parties in your organization to overcome conflict and reach agreement.


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�Job Aid

Communicate to Mediate

Instruction: Use this job aid as an aid to communicating as a mediator.

Restating

The mediator listens to what has been said and feeds the content to the party in the party's own words.

Paraphrasing

The mediator listens to what has been said and restates the content to the party using different but similar words that have the comparable meaning to the original statement.

Summarizing or backtracking

The mediator condenses the speaker's message. This technique can be used to "snap participants into attention." Even in an emotional state, parties demonstrate the capacity to snap out of their emotional state when they need to be sure that the mediator has accurately summarized what they have said.


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Generalizing

The mediator identifies general points or principles in a speaker's presentation.

Questioning

The mediator uses questions for a variety of purposes. There is a wealth of question types to encourage and lead participant's communication. These include

• open questions to gather information

• clarifying questions to make abstract and general ideas more specific

• justifying questions to elicit reasons and interests behind positions

• hypothetical questions to introduce new ideas, possibilities or options into a discussion

• focusing questions to bring participants back to considering the core issues

• closure questions to encourage the making of a decision


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�Job Aid

The Mediation Process

Instruction: Use this job aid to review the six stages of the mediation process.

Stage 1: Setting the ground rules

Both parties work with the mediator to create an agenda of acceptable conduct that will guide them during the mediation process. The mediator confirms their wish to resolve the conflict and answers any questions they may have about the mediation process.

Stage 2: Hearing the stories

Each party communicates through the mediator to detail their perception of the conflict and the reasons for it. The mediator listens to what each has to say, asks for clarification whenever necessary. The mediator also summarizes the information to check his or her understanding of what has been said.

Stage 3: Identifying the issues

Both parties communicate through the mediator and together to clarify the underlying issues that have precipitated their disagreement. The mediator leads the examination of facts


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and assumptions to get to the root causes of the problem. Once they have identified these, the mediator will summarize and prioritize them according to which have the most potential for agreement.

Stage 4: Communicating feelings

The participants communicate through the mediator and with each other to talk about how they feel about the situation and the issues that have been identified. The mediator encourages mutual understanding and honest communication.

Stage 5: Identifying solutions

The participants work together to produce a selection of possible win/win solutions to their problem. These are discussed and clarified, then the details are checked for mutual acceptability.

Stage 6: Signing the agreement

The mediator writes up the voluntary agreements for the parties to sign.


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�Learning Aid

Sample Ground Rules for Mediation

Instruction: Use this learning aid to see examples of ground rules commonly used in workplace mediations.

• We agree to take turns speaking and not interrupt each other.

• We agree to call each other by our first names, not "he" or "she".

• We agree not to blame, attack, or engage in put downs and will ask questions of each other for the purposes of gaining clarity and understanding only.

• We agree to stay away from establishing hard positions and express ourselves in terms of our personal needs and interests and always keep in mind the results we wish to achieve.

• We agree to listen respectfully and sincerely try to understand the other person's needs and interests.

• We recognize that, even if we do not agree with it, each of us is entitled to our own viewpoint.

• We will not dwell on things that did not work in the past, but instead will focus on the future we would like to create.


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• We agree to make a conscious, sincere effort to refrain from arguing unproductively or venting our anger and agree to use our time in mediation to work toward what we believe to be our fairest and most constructive agreement possible.

• We will speak up if something in the mediation is not working for us.

• We will request a break when we need to.

• We will point out if we feel the mediator is not being impartial or neutral.


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�Learning Aid

Keith and Hilary

Instruction: Use this learning aid to review the details of a mediation involving two colleagues.

Keith and Hilary have worked together for three years. Their recent falling out was caused by an e-mail that Hilary sent to Keith saying that "yet again" she'd had to cover for him while he was out of the office.

Keith was annoyed by this claim, and stopped all communication with Hilary. He was fed up by her continuous criticism of his work methods, her sarcastic remarks regarding his professionalism, and the way she tried to keep track of his whereabouts every minute of the working day.

Obviously, the lack of communication between the two colleagues soon became apparent to Maurice, their supervisor. He offered to mediate and they agreed.

As soon as they met, Maurice talked them through some basic expectations for how the mediation would be conducted. It all seemed like common sense (asking them to agree not to interrupt each other or make accusations).

Then, Maurice asked each one of them to relate what had happened from his and her own point of view, and what they


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saw as the main cause of the conflict. He listened to what each had to say, interjecting only to clarify anything he didn't understand. When each was done, Maurice summarized what he had been told to make sure he understood each situation.

Armed with the information they had given him, Maurice was able to lead a discussion to get to the root causes of their dispute. After examination and consideration, Maurice told them that as far as he could see the main issue was one of assertiveness – the principle that everyone is accountable for their own feelings but that they are also entitled to live and work as they choose.

Maurice suggested that, therefore, the best resolution would be to agree to be assertive with each other at all times. Hilary and Keith both agreed that assertive behavior would probably improve the situation.


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�Learning Aid

Ian and Becky


Ian is Becky's supervisor. They have never had an easy relationship, but since her review it's gotten decidedly worse. The animosity has grown until it was felt that something practical had to be done.

Janet, from HR, offers to act as mediator and they both accept. Janet runs through the agenda so that both parties know what to expect and how they should behave. Then, she asks Becky to start by describing what she sees as being the problem. As Becky explains, Janet ensures her understanding by asking pertinent questions. When Becky is finished, Janet summarizes and gets Becky's confirmation that she has a good understanding of what has been said. Janet does the same with Ian, asking him to give his perspective on the situation, and confirming her understanding of what he says.

Once she's heard from both parties, Janet believes she has a good understanding of what has occurred and she encourages Ian and Becky to propose potential solutions to the situation. After a short discussion, they decide that Becky


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should ask for help more often and that Ian agrees to give it. Janet puts this decision in a formal agreement and they both sign it.


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�Learning Aid

Graham and Lauren


Graham and Lauren are co-workers. Although they are not close friends they have always gotten along fine. However, recently their working relationship has become strained and there is a lot of tension between them.

Frank, another line manager within the department, offers to mediate when their own supervisor voices her reluctance to intervene. Frank asks Lauren to describe the problem as she sees it. As she recounts her perception of the difficulties, Frank asks questions to clarify any possible misunderstandings. Once she has finished, he summarizes what she said and gets her to confirm that his understanding is accurate. He repeats this procedure with Graham.

Since they both had to detail their versions of the events, Frank asks them both how they feel about what has been said. Not surprisingly, both are a little defensive. Frank then asks them to suggest possible ways to resolve the problems.

Graham and Lauren briefly discuss a few possibilities, finally settling on one that they both feel they can commit to. Frank writes up a formal agreement and they both sign it.

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Communicating for ContactsCommunicating for ContactsCommunicating for ContactsCommunicating for Contacts

In this course, you will learn how to improve your skills as an interesting and interested conversationalist and how to overcome the inherent shyness that many people experience when faced with a room full of strangers. The course also gives practical strategies for "networking" effectively in common business environments such as trade shows, conferences, or business socials. The following lessons are covered in this module: Lesson 1: Best Foot Forward: Making a Good

Impression Lesson 2: The Art of Conversation Lesson 3: Networking Skills for Business Events and

Functions

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Best Foot Forward: MakingBest Foot Forward: MakingBest Foot Forward: MakingBest Foot Forward: Making a Good a Good a Good a Good

ImpressionImpressionImpressionImpression

Overcoming Shyness

eing shy in business is a serious disadvantage, and its consequences can be devastating. Research shows that shy businesspeople can miss out on career

opportunities and benefits because they

• do not display leadership skills

• are reluctant to ask for more money

Shield from possible rejection

Shyness is a cocoon that people use to shield themselves from possible rejection. It is not necessarily the same as low self-esteem. Some shy people are inwardly confident, but they find it difficult to interact with other people, particularly those they do not know.

Shyness is caused by extreme self-consciousness and negative thinking. These feelings precipitate the behaviors that make the feared rejection a self-fulfilling prophecy. You must overcome these feelings to combat shyness.

When you are shy, you are self-conscious. In your mind, everybody is looking at you and judging what you do and say. You are anxious and more concerned with your feelings than with what is actually going on around you.

B

Communicating For Contacts

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Negative thoughts

Shy people are not like introverts who want to be left alone. Shy people want to approach others and get involved, but they cannot bring themselves to do so. Their negative thinking convinces them that they are going to fail. Self-doubt is common in shy people. Their inner critics make them doubt their abilities, and they anticipate the worst.

Most people experience shyness

Most people experience shyness at some time. According to various estimates, shyness affects between 40 and 45 percent of the population. Shyness creates problems if it interferes with your ability to form successful relationships. It can hinder your chances of making the network contacts that can assist you in achieving your professional goals.

Learn to take a relaxed approach

Fortunately, the behaviors associated with shyness can be replaced by more effective behaviors, and you can learn to relax in networking situations.

Switch your focus to others

For example, you can minimize the effect of self-consciousness by switching your focus from yourself to the other people in the room. Shy people rarely consider the needs of others because they are so busy thinking about themselves.

Make it your goal to put others at ease by:


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• making eye contact so that you look interested in what is going on

• smiling so that you do not look aloof

• forcing yourself to talk to someone

Prepare an introduction

Prepare and practice a short introduction in advance until it becomes second nature. Think of it as a one-sound-bite commercial. A sound bite is the length of time available in television to engage viewers' attention before they tune out. This available length of time has decreased to seven seconds because people are so overexposed to visual and oral stimuli.

Always use your first and last names when introducing yourself to convey a professional message. Because you do not know how the other person feels about informality, this gives her the chance to set the tone with which she feels most comfortable.

You can include a small amount of information about yourself in your introduction, but keep it to a minimum. If too much attention is focused on you, your self-consciousness will return.

Ask open questions

People love to talk about themselves, so once you have made your introductions, maintain your outward focus by asking the other person about himself. Ask open questions that cannot easily be answered with "yes" or "no." These questions usually start with the words, "who," "what," "where," "how", "when," and "why."


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It is important to listen to the answers so that you can ask relevant follow-up questions

Banishing negative thinking

Give yourself the confidence to interact socially by banishing the negative thinking that creates self-doubt. Change the inner critic into the inner coach by using positive affirmations to counteract that nagging, critical voice, and train your internal dialog to give you can-do messages. Talk to yourself as you would to a close friend that you care about.

Use the word you instead of I in your affirmations so your inner coach sounds like another person. This makes the affirmation easier for you to accept. Otherwise, you may find your inner critic arguing with you.

Do not compare

As well as being kind to yourself, think positively about the people you are meeting. Very few people go out of their way to be rude or put people down, especially if they do not know you. Try not to compare yourself with others. Your personal qualities are valuable in their own right. It is not necessary to be better or worse than someone else.

Practice and persevere

It is not easy to rid yourself of the fears and feelings that lead to shyness. All change is uncomfortable, but with practice and perseverance, something that was once difficult can become a lot easier.

Even the most confident people have probably had to overcome the same kind of feelings at one time. As with


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anything worth achieving, it requires effort and some risk. However, the rewards you can gain are well worth it.

Creating a Good Impression

pinions vary as to exactly how long it takes for a person to form an impression of someone he has just met. But everyone agrees that it is a matter of

seconds, not hours.

There are three key attributes that people look for when you are introduced in a professional setting:

1. a professional appearance

2. good communication skills

3. a positive attitude

How you are perceived in those first few seconds of meeting can make or break any future association with a potential new contact.

Professional appearance

Surveys show that various types of attire command different levels of respect. For example, well-fitting, classic clothes in solid, neutral colors are viewed as being more professional than colorful, high-fashion items. Accessories should be limited and coordinate with your outfit, and jewelry should be discreet.

Personal grooming is as important as what you wear, so your nails and hair should be as clean as your clothes and shoes. It is amazing how many small things you notice about a person when you meet them for the first time.

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However, for unfamiliar networking situations, sometimes it is more difficult to judge whether your outfit is appropriate. The general rule is to be cautious. You do not want to stand out from the crowd for the wrong reasons.

Good communication skills

New acquaintances also judge you on how you communicate. Verbally, people are drawn to vocal variety, a pleasing conversational style, and good diction. Nonverbally, they like to see good posture, eye contact, a firm handshake, and a smile. They are also interested in what you communicate. This gives a clue to your attitude.

Verbal communication is important. Many people are impressed by, and sometimes a little envious of, those who have good speaking voices. Articulate people sound more intelligent and commanding, even if they are not.

It is important to eliminate the following irritating speaking habits because they can divert attention and make you lose authority.

• Mispronunciation – of everyday words is likely to be interpreted as ignorance. Often these errors are inherited from other people. If you are used to hearing "accept" pronounced as "except," you probably pronounce it the wrong way.

• Poor enunciation – Enunciation errors are often caused by lazy diction. These errors involve missing syllables or omitting word endings so that "authority" becomes "authorty" and "dropping" becomes "droppin'." It gives a general impression of sloppiness and should be avoided.


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• Meaningless additions – Avoid adding words and phrases that do not contribute to the clarity of your meaning. For example, "Like, I was at work and, like, the phone rang and I answered it, and like, the guy on the other end was, like, all, like, upset because his delivery hadn't arrived."

• Slang and jargon – You can never be sure whether someone you have just met will understand the slang or jargon that you use. The easy solution is not to use it.

Positive attitude

Be aware of the attitude you are conveying. People tend to like others with positive attitudes and dislike those with negative attitudes.

The following are three positive attitudes you should convey and three negative attitudes you should avoid.

• Self-confidence – People are drawn to confidence – it gives them confidence in you. Show that you have a can do attitude, and others will not hesitate to put your name forward when opportunities arise.

• Enthusiasm – People like enthusiasm – it is contagious. They prefer to associate with upbeat individuals because it is a more uplifting experience.

• Honesty – Honesty is something everyone looks for in others, whether the relationship is personal or professional. People feel comfortable forming associations with those they feel they can trust.

• Negativity – If you speak negatively, people will get the impression that you are resigned to the worst


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happening and that you have a why even try attitude. Save your complaints for another time.

• Arrogance – Boastfulness is not attractive, especially when you meet someone for the first time. Impress with your personal qualities, not with what you have done or what you have got.

• Indifference – You may think that it is better to appear indifferent than to show you have strong opinions. However, people like to see that things matter to you. It shows commitment and conviction, provided that you do not sound petty.

Try to relax and be yourself. A discerning person will sense whether you are putting on a show and judge you negatively if you are.

There is no doubt about it – first impressions count. Ensure the ones you make reflect your abilities and qualities and get you the recognition you deserve.

Build and Promote Your Reputation

ometimes people have formed an impression of you before you have even met them. It is not unusual for others to know your reputation before they know you.

If you are going to be known throughout your company, make sure you are known for the right things.

A reputation for achievement

A good professional reputation is usually gained through achievement. Individuals are recognized for having the necessary skills and/or knowledge to get things done. You

S


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can make the achievements required to earn a reputation of which you can be proud by having the right organizational network. You can use internal networking to

• build your reputation

• promote your reputation

Build your reputation

Most of the contacts you need to build your reputation work within your company. But not everyone you work with can provide or enable you access to the knowledge, skills, and resources you require to meet your goals. So you need to differentiate between those who can and those who cannot. Your networking creates your personalized business service directory and builds relationships with everyone who has an entry.

When you need assistance, you will know exactly who to call for help. What is more, because you have existing relationships, the support you get will be of a higher quality.

Promote your reputation

When you have a contact, it is essential to reciprocate. No one likes to feel used. So you need to figure out what you have to offer in return and be willing to give it when called upon. If you do not, you will soon find your grapevine of contacts withering.

When you are a manager, it is easy to only be concerned with your department. But management success often depends on effective collaboration, so having good relationships with your peers and establishing mutual trust


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can be useful. During troubled times, that strong foundation will allow collaboration as soon as it is needed.

On the grapevine

It is said that knowledge is power, and that was never truer than in today's knowledge economy. On a smaller scale, it is also extremely useful to be in the know where your own organization is concerned. Things change fast in large corporations, and you can use your network of contacts to keep up with what is going on.

Remember that people at all levels are excellent sources of information.

Unreliable = unsuitable

Some people are unsuitable as network contacts, and this quickly becomes apparent. People who take, but do not give, are one example. These people always want favors, but unfortunately have not got the time when you need something from them. Unreliability also makes a person an unsuitable network contact. You cannot afford to have your success rely on those who regularly let you down, promising but not delivering. Some people are just awkward, and will not help almost as a point of principle. These people are also unsuitable to have on your network.

You have opportunities to network at work. It usually takes a long time to develop a good professional reputation. However, smart use of your internal contacts can speed the process.


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�Job Aid

Are You Shy?

Purpose: Use this job aid to assess your level of shyness.

Rating

Rate each of the following statements on a scale from 1 to 5 with 1 being strongly disagree, 2 being disagree, 3 being neutral, 4 being agree to 5 being strongly agree.

1. I am a shy person.

2. Other people think I talk a lot.

3. I am a very talkative person.

4. Other people think I am shy.

5. I talk a lot.

6. I tend to be very quiet at work.

7. I don't talk much.

8. I talk more than most people.

9. I am a quiet person.

10. I talk more in a small group (3-6) than others do.

11. Most people talk more than I do.

12. Other people think I am very quiet.


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13. I talk more at work than other people do.

14. Most people are more shy than I am.

Scoring

Step 1. Add the scores for items 1, 4, 6, 7, 9, 11, and 12.

Step 2. Add the scores for items 2, 3, 5, 8, 10, 13, and 14.

Step 3. Complete the following formula: Shyness score = 42 + Total of Step 1 - Total of Step 2.

Scores above 52 indicate a high level of shyness. Scores below 32 indicate a low level of shyness. Scores between 32 and 52 indicate a moderate level of shyness.


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The Art of ConversationThe Art of ConversationThe Art of ConversationThe Art of Conversation

Small Talk for Networking

our ability to make small talk is your most valuable networking skill. It can make you attractive and interesting to others while helping you overcome your

shyness and build your confidence, your image, and your relationships.

In-depth conversations with strangers do not start spontaneously – they are built on a foundation of small talk. Small talk can lead to big things.

The purpose of small talk is to build rapport and give the other person time to get comfortable talking to you before you discuss more meaningful issues. The introductory part of a conversation shows your willingness to converse and encourages the listener to respond. It gives both parties an opportunity to assess each other and to find areas of mutual interest.

Every conversation has to start somewhere. When you talk to someone you do not know and with whom there is no specific agreement to converse, you start with small talk. You can get your small talk off to a flying start by using the S.O.A.R. technique to build rapport. This technique has four stages.

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• S – salutation and introduction

• O – observation

• A – asking a question

• R – revelation

Up to 88 percent of Americans describe themselves as shy. So when someone has the courage to initiate a conversation, his words are usually welcomed. Small talk does not have to be elaborate or earth-shattering in its originality. In fact, you can prepare some of it beforehand.

• Salutation and introduction – The purpose of the salutation and introduction is to tell people who you are, signal your willingness to talk to them, and give them an opportunity to engage with you verbally and nonverbally.

• Observation – The goal of your observation is to share a common experience and demonstrate mutuality. Your observation should reflect something that is going on around you. It should also be worded so that it prompts a response.

• Asking a question – Your question should be relevant to the event or the person. Your goal is to elicit further response and keep the conversation going. You also want to find out something more about the person so that your conversation can be tailored accordingly.

• Revelation – The purpose of the revelation is to show that you are the kind of person who is approachable and easy to talk to. Self-disclosure helps people feel more comfortable with you because they know something about you.


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Some people might think small talk is trivial, but without it, more meaningful conversations with useful contacts would never take place.

The Basics of Good Conversation

here is more to conversation than just words. Good conversationalists have a genuine interest in other people and in making them feel good. That is why they

receive such positive response.

To converse well, you must be able to conduct a conversation through its three basic stages:

• initiation

• maintenance

• conclusion

Your main goal when you initiate or begin a conversation is to build rapport. People feel more comfortable talking to someone they like and trust, and rapport is about establishing that feeling as quickly as possible. You achieve this through both your verbal and nonverbal communication.

The acronym S.O.F.T.E.N.S. is a good way to remember some of the techniques you can use to build rapport at the start of a conversation. There are several techniques you can use to build rapport:

• S – smile – A sincere smile is the simplest way to establish rapport. It indicates genuine enjoyment and good humor, both of which are attractive qualities.

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• O – open posture – An open posture such as standing with arms unfolded or sitting with legs uncrossed is received more positively than a closed posture.

• F – forward lean – Leaning forward shows you are interested and engaged in what is being said. This is more appropriate when you are sitting – otherwise it can be misconstrued as threatening.

• T – touch – You need to be cautious when it comes to touching, even with people you know. A hand on the shoulder might not be well received, but a handshake is always acceptable.

• E – eye contact – Maintaining the appropriate level of eye contact is a good way of establishing trust. It's difficult to trust someone who is unwilling to look directly at you.

• N – nodding – Nodding your head while the other person speaks shows you are listening and encourages them to continue.

• S – small talk – People use discussion of topics of general interest such as the weather, traffic, or current events to build trust and establish common ground.

Making small talk gives you the chance to establish the right mood and adjust your timing to suit your new acquaintance. It does not have to be limited to particular subjects, but your listener should understand what you are talking about, or your opening comment will not get a positive response.

In-depth questions

Once you are comfortable and you think the other person feels the same, move the conversation to a more meaningful


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level. Your goal is to get to know the person by asking questions about his life, work, goals, likes, and dislikes.

Open questions are best for gaining information. These begin with the words who, where, when, why, and how. Closed questions can be used to confirm what is been said. These are questions which are easily answered with yes or no.

Networking perspective

If you are also looking at the person from a networking perspective, this enables you to make an initial evaluation about his or her suitability as a potential contact. Make sure that your questions are perceptive and, as far as possible, in line with the interests of the person with whom you are communicating.

Concluding the conversation

There are few things more annoying than talking to someone who ignores all the clues and carries on talking when, for all purposes, the conversation is over. If the other person appears to be getting restless, take the initiative and end the conversation.

Ensure that you conclude on a positive note by trying to include three elements in your good-byes:

• Summation – Say something during your conclusion that encapsulates something that was discussed.

• Justification – Justify bringing the conversation to an end by giving a reason.


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• Appreciation – Express your appreciation for the opportunity to talk and, if appropriate, your wish to meet again.

Even relatively short conversations can feel more satisfying to both participants when a real connection is made. In the situation that follows, use your skills to conduct a conversation with a new acquaintance.

Good conversation is a networking jewel. It may not come naturally in the beginning, but with practice, everyone will enjoy talking with you.

Avoiding Conversational Pitfalls

t is possible to initiate, maintain, and end a conversation and still not be a good conversationalist. That is because mistakes are easy to make. You can achieve

conversational competence by being aware of some common pitfalls.

To people you have just met, you are what you say. They judge your personal qualities by what you communicate. Obviously, certain topics are inappropriate for networking conversations. Although you might never mean to make tasteless, racist, or sexist remarks, or might never intentionally be rude to others, you can still give the wrong impression. It is easy to spoil a conversation by being:

• self-absorbed

• incomprehensible

• long-winded

• negative

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Do not appear self-absorbed

When conversations have these characteristics, listeners feel ignored, bored, confused, or dispirited. This is not a good basis for new relationships. When you try to impress people, you can sound self-absorbed. Your conversation focuses on you, and everything you say relates to you. The listener feels ignored, and you sound conceited as you talk constantly about

• what you do

• where you've been

• whom you know

• what you've achieved

• what you think

• what you want

Prevent yourself from appearing to be full of your own importance by using two simple strategies. First, only give your opinion or details about your life in response to a request from the listener, or when he has spoken about himself. Second, ask a question about the listener after you have spoken about yourself.

Avoid being incomprehensible

It is possible to overuse jargon, codes, and buzzwords, hoping that it makes you appear knowledgeable. Unfortunately, all it does is make part of your conversation incomprehensible to people who are not familiar with your industry or specialist area. This leaves them feeling confused and eager for the conversation to end. Too much


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slang or colloquial speech has the same effect, so avoid both.

Unfamiliar terms such as ISV and VAR are likely to be met with blank stares. If you cannot avoid using industry-specific terms, ensure that you include an explanation to clarify. In addition, increase the listener's understanding by

• using words instead of acronyms

• saying, "independent software vendor," not "ISV"

• saying, "value added reseller," not "VAR"

Avoid being long-winded

Reduce wordiness by only giving pertinent details. Do not use two words when one will do. If what you are about to say will not increase the other person's understanding, then do not say it. Irrelevant detail clouds the issue, and the listener gets bored and loses interest.

Avoid being negative

As you become more comfortable talking, your complaints about everyday life are more likely to surface. It is easy to find yourself sharing more of your disappointments than your triumphs. Complaining is not an attractive quality, and it drives people away because they feel dispirited. Be careful not to give the impression that you are more in need of therapy than conversation.

If you make any of these common errors, you may find that listeners get restless when you are talking or even make excuses to get away. Avoiding these pitfalls will enable you


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to be perceived as an interested and an interesting person during those important networking opportunities.

Be positive

Stay positive. It is a good approach to conversation, as well as a good way to approach life. Positivity is an attractive quality – negativity is not. If you have problems or complaints, keep them to yourself. It is unlikely this new acquaintance can do anything about them anyway.

Fortunately, a listener's body language often indicates her reaction to what you are saying. If she seems to be losing interest, ask yourself what may be causing that to happen.

If you maintain awareness of your listeners' reactions and communicate well, you will avoid these common pitfalls. Then you will be well on your way to becoming a talented conversation professional.


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�Job Aid

Psychology of Handshakes

Purpose: Use this job aid to learn about the psychological meanings of various handshake styles.

The customary handshake

This is the handshake used by most leaders and corporate executives. The person delivering it will look you right in the eye, fully engage your hand, smile, and pump your hand two or three times. This handshake expresses a feeling of relaxed self-confidence. The person using it will be open, trustworthy, and willing to listen.

The lingering handshake

This one is firm with a warm grasp and two or more pumps. The end of the handshake pauses or lingers. The lingering quality may denote openness and sincerity, or it may suggest that the person has something up his/her sleeve. Trust your gut feeling about what the handshake means.

The push-off

Even though this grip may be firm and warm, at the end your hand is pushed or flicked away. This handshake implies that the other person has a strong need to establish his or her


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own territory and agenda. He or she will tend to be a unapproachable person without good "people" skills.

The pull-in

This person holds on to your hand to pull you closer or direct you through a door or toward a chair. This is a somewhat manipulative handshake. Because this type of person is a controller who wants things done a certain way, he or she may not be a good team player.

The two-handed shake

During this handshake, the person's right hand will grab yours while the left hand grasps your wrist, forearm, biceps, shoulder, or neck. The higher the left hand, the greater the manipulation and control. This handshake implies a quick sincerity and intimacy. This person is trying to sell you something that's not really there; e.g., we're great buddies.

The topper

The dominant party in this handshake has his/her palm facing down in relation to the other person. Like the winner of an arm wrestling match, the hand on top is clearly in control. This handshake says, "I'm in charge, I'm the boss."

The finger squeeze

Like the push-off, the finger squeeze is used to keep someone at a comfortable distance. This kind of handshake will hurt your hand. This is a very insecure type of person who equates brute strength with personal power. They use their hands as weapons to dominate and overpower people.


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Twister

In this one, the other person grabs your hand normally but aggressively twists it under his/her hand at the end. This person is saying, "We may be coming into this as equals, but in the end I'll be on top." This person can turn on you. You may think you're in control, but he/she will attempt to catch you off guard.

Dead fish

The individual with this kind of cold, clammy, indifferent handshake tends to be somewhat passive or apathetic. This type of person will usually be better with computers, machines, and information than with people.


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�Learning Aid

Brandon's Potential Contacts

Purpose: Use this learning aid to discover more about Brandon's potential contacts at the computer company.

When Brandon discovers an error, he often finds it difficult to track down the salesperson who handles the client account in question or to get a price from support for the work that's been performed. There are several potential contacts.

Eddie – is an external service engineer. He sometimes plays pool with Brandon. He is always willing to help and never fails to get back with an answer. It does, however, take some time to track him down because he's often out of the office.

Helen – is also a service engineer, but since she became pregnant, she transferred off the road and now gives technical support over the help lines. She is also very willing to help.

Quentin – is one of the longest-serving section leaders in billing. He's very efficient and is helpful if he sees that the company will benefit from what he is doing.

Natasha – is a sales administrator. She and her colleagues provide administrative support to the sales team – confirming appointments, keeping schedules, sending out


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correspondence and contracts to clients, etc. Brandon doesn't really know Natasha, but she's helped him out a couple of times.


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�Learning Aid

Tania

Purpose: Use this learning aid to select the person who might help Tania overcome her difficulties.

Tania

Because she's often out of the office, Tania doesn't have much time to build useful working relationships outside of her own department. However, when a client visits, she has to interact with quite a few departments. This is fine if she has plenty of time, but when it's a last-minute arrangement, she can meet with resistance. The production manager can be particularly uncooperative. A lack of purchase order numbers also make it difficult to arrange outside services such as taxis and caterers. Tania needs useful contacts, but she hasn't got a lot of time to dedicate to building the necessary relationships.

Potential contacts

Ben – is the production manager. He doesn't like clients visiting the production line because it's disruptive and he can't see any point to it. He thinks that either these people want to buy the company's products or they don't. He doesn't have the authority to veto a client visit, though – that can only be done at the VP level.


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Stella – is the personal assistant to the VP of sales and marketing. She's a well-respected woman, and her position gives her a lot of authority. There are very few people in the company whom Stella doesn't know and who wouldn't do what Stella asked.

Gary – works in the accounts department. He's responsible for a variety of accounts-related tasks, including issuing purchase orders. To issue a purchase order, Gary requires a docket signed by a recognized authority, such as a manager or VP. Tania is not on the list of recognized authorities.

Joan – is the receptionist and is responsible for reconciling the taxi account with the relevant authorization slips. She takes this responsibility very seriously and won't order a cab without the proper slip. She doesn't care if it's for the CEO!


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�Learning Aid

Jeremy

Purpose: Use this learning aid to review a description of the people that Jeremy could network with to help him achieve his job goals.

Anna – is a manager in customer services. She has expressed her eagerness to help, and she certainly would be a very lively and informed speaker. She has offered on a couple occasions, but she let Jeremy down at the last minute both times.

Ford – is the marketing manager. He hasn't been with the company very long, but the word on the grapevine is that he's destined for great things. He's very popular and seems to be involved with everything that's going on. He is already one of the most influential people in the company.

Vince – is the call center manager. He has said that he'd love to have the opportunity to talk to new recruits, but because of his busy schedule, he seldom has the time. His assistant, Marie, usually steps in when he can't help.

Marie – is the assistant call center manager. She has spoken on a couple of occasions when Vince was unavailable. She didn't feel comfortable. However, she does


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have a lot of influence with Vince and the departmental managers.


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Networking Skills for Business Events Networking Skills for Business Events Networking Skills for Business Events Networking Skills for Business Events

and Functionsand Functionsand Functionsand Functions

Planning for Trade Shows

ttending a trade show or similar event can be very productive for networking purposes. But without the right approach, it can turn out to be a tiring and

expensive waste of time. To maximize the value of your visit, it is essential to know your objective and to make a strategic plan to achieve it.

Your objective might be to strengthen an existing relationship, or to form new ones.

Either way, once you have established your goal, you can increase your chance of achieving it if you plan your attendance around three things:

1. your time

2. whom to meet

3. your follow-up

If you do not set a clear purpose, you risk getting distracted by all that is going on at the event and accomplishing nothing. A plan keeps you focused.

A


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Preparation

You should not assume you are just going to bump into the people you want to meet or that a fruitful relationship will just blossom by itself. You will increase your chances of nurturing or forging valuable contacts by completing several tasks.

• Find out who will be attending – Check beforehand to make sure the people you want to meet will be there. Remember that the quality of contact is more important than the quantity, so do not try to meet too many people.

• Find out, if possible, where these contacts will be – Ensure you are in the right place at the right time. If the person will have a booth at the show, find out the exact location and time of their display.

• Make prior arrangements to meet them – This way you leave nothing to chance and may know exactly how much time you will have with the person, meaning you can even plan the structure of your discussion.

• Come prepared with any equipment you may need – such as a PDA, business cards, and company stationery.

Follow-up

After you have met someone, it is essential you continue to cultivate the relationship. Devise a follow-up action plan before you leave to ensure the person does not forget you. You should remember two key points when creating this plan.


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• Speed is important – Get in touch again quickly so that the person clearly remembers you and understands that the relationship is important to you.

• Reliability is crucial – If you have made a commitment to send the person something, be sure to do so, and as soon as possible.

Time well spent

Trade shows can be pivotal events for your business. With preparation and planning, you can ensure you will get the most out of them.

The right preparations help you to maintain your impetus and accelerate the achievement of your original purpose. The prospect of networking at trade shows can be daunting, but with the right planning, you have nothing to fear – your visit will be worthwhile.

Networking Skills for Social Events

ompany social gatherings and business functions such as fundraisers provide golden opportunities to network and initiate strategic relationships. However,

it is important to behave appropriately in order to create the right impression.

To make the most of these golden opportunities, you need to follow three golden rules:

1. mingle and circulate

2. do not conduct business

3. make sure people know who you are

C


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Meet and greet

It is important to mingle and circulate even if the event is for company employees only. You need to actively reach out to other people, to show an interest in them, and try to ensure they enjoy the event.

If you do not actively seek contacts, you are dependent on others coming looking for you – you will miss out on networking opportunities.

Socialize, not sell

Although you should show an interest in what people do, it is no appropriate to use social events to do business. Networking is about building knowledge links and relationships for mutual benefit.

Guests rarely appreciate being invited to social events only to find someone trying to sell them something or to open or close a deal. They are unlikely to accept future invitations from your company.

Identify yourself

It is vital to make sure people know who you are. There is no point impressing someone if they do not know who you are or how to make contact with you again.

Introduce yourself clearly and, if appropriate, give the person your business card for future reference.

There are other obvious rules to follow when you attend a social function, such as do not drink too much or tell


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tasteless jokes. Even if the gathering seems informal, it is important to treat everyone with civility and courtesy.

Social events can be good places to network. They can also be places to have fun. If you follow the rules, you will discover that the two are not mutually exclusive.

Attracting Sponsors

very day in the workplace, you interact with many people, but interaction is not the same as networking. It takes more than just contacts to develop mutually

beneficial relationships. It takes connection.

The right people

For your network to help advance your career, you need to connect with the right people in the right way. The people who form your workplace network can be categorized as either those who support you or those who advance your career.

Advancers are key contacts who help you move toward the achievement of your professional goals. They act as

• role models

• mentors

• sponsors

Sponsor's role

Role models and mentors make their contributions to your success by facilitating improvements to your skills and knowledge.

E


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Sponsors, on the other hand, bring your abilities to the attention of those who have the power to give you the professional recognition you seek. Sponsors act as your public relations persons. Their power comes from their ability to influence.

Impressing sponsors

It is not always possible to identify your sponsors. Therefore, it makes sense to behave as though everyone at work has the potential to be one.

Use your people skills to form favorable impressions on everyone you meet. If you are a positive and resourceful contributor to everyone with whom you come into contact, people will be willing to assist you in your pursuits.

You can make yourself useful to people or create goodwill towards you by applying some of the following tips:

• Participate – in activities such as holiday parties or company picnics. You have something in common with everyone there, and these social events are perfect places for meeting new people and showing your best qualities.

• Join a specialist group – with others who share the same interest. These groups offer the chance to expand your professional skills, contribute your knowledge to others, and be recognized for your expertise.

• Volunteer for projects – these offer a great opportunity to meet people and demonstrate your


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knowledge, skill, and willingness to help others. Projects also give you additional opportunities to learn.

• Attend company training – whenever it is offered, this training gives you the chance to interact with people from different departments and show what you can do. It also demonstrates your willingness to learn and help others to learn.

• Introduce yourself – to people you do not know. Smile, be friendly, and concentrate on being interested instead of interesting.

• Share – your knowledge and expertise and become a part of other people's networks. Your usefulness to other people will link you to them, and they will be eager to reciprocate.

Although your initial objective for networking is to gain sponsors, you will soon find that being open, respectful, and helpful will earn you friends and respect, which may be rewards in themselves. It will also gain you influence.


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�Job Aid

A Planned Itinerary

Purpose: Use this job aid to help to plan your itinerary at trade shows and conventions.

Booth number and exhibitor

101 – ABC Training

102 – Powell & Associates

103 – Galaxy

104 – Metal Structures

105 – Brossden Paper

106 – Stanley Paints

107 – D G Mouldings

108 – Colonial Flooring

201 – J H Training

202 – Frost Free Sidings

203 – K L Frost Inc.


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204 – Digital Express

205 – Red Soft


207 – K D Associates

208 – N P Design Inc.

301 – Fair Trading


303 – Digital Soundings

304 – S Cargo

305 – Dee Medical

306 – H N D Assurance Corp.



401 – BTP Storage

402 – Miller Insurance Services

403 – Chapman Glass

404 – Austin Housing & Realtors


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405 – Moore & Catcher

406 – Panache Decor

407 – Floral Artistry

408 – Key Exhibitions

501 – Micro Services

502 – C M Advertising

503 – Org Data Processing

504 – CAD Creatives

505 – Synapse

506 – England Communication

507 – Manning Coatings

508 – Export Logistics Corp.

601 – Creative Structural Design

602 – Smith Print

603 – BTP Storage

606 – Joanes Inc.

607 – Foxes Book Corp.


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608 – Davis Financial Services Inc.

Figure 1: Floor plan

Educational sessions

09:00 – 09:30 Mortgage Options for the First Time Purchaser

10:00 - 10:45 Eduring Decorative Finishes

11:15 - 12:00 Solar Power for the Mass Market

12:30 - 13:15 Building Shoreline Properties

14:00 - 14:30 The 'Green' House

15:15 - 15:45 European Styling


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16:15 - 16:45 Contracting with a Self-build Constructor


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�Learning Aid

OPUS Floor Plan

Purpose: Use this learning aid to review the OPUS Floor Plan.

Booth number and exhibitor

101 – ABC Training

102 – Powell & Associates

103 – Galaxy

104 – Metal Structures

105 – Brossden Paper


107 – D G Mouldings


201 – J H Training



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203 – K L Frost Inc.

204 – Digital Express

205 – Red Soft


207 – K D Associates

208 – N P Design Inc.

301 – Fair Trading


303 – Digital Soundings

304 – S Cargo

305 – Dee Medical

306 – H N D Assurance Corp.



401 – BTP Storage

402 – Miller Insurance Services

403 – Chapman Glass


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404 – Austin Housing & Realtors

405 – Moore & Catcher

406 – Panache Decor

407 – Floral Artistry

408 – Key Exhibitions

501 – Micro Services

502 – C M Advertising

503 – Org Data Processing

504 – CAD Creatives

505 – Synapse

506 – England Communication

507 – Manning Coatings

508 – Export Logistics Corp.

601 – Creative Structural Design

602 – Smith Print

603 – BTP Storage

606 – Joanes Inc.


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607 – Foxes Book Corp.

608 – Davis Financial Services Inc.

Figure 1: OPUS floor plan

Educational sessions – conference room

9:30 - 10:00 The Secret to Driving Employee Performance: Results-Based Performance Management

10:15 - 11:00 HR's Role in Mergers and Acquisitions

11:15 - 12:00 Incorporating Technology and the People Business

13:00 - 13:45 Using NLP in Recruitment


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14:15 - 15:00 HR Basics for New and Solo HR Practitioners

15:30 - 16:30 OPUS Association Awards Ceremony


BICS/1110 313

�Learning Aid

OPUS Exhibitors

Purpose: Use this learning aid to review the exhibitors at OPUS.

On-line Recruit

On-line Recruit's software tracks and manages the entire hiring process. Resumes received from online or non-online sources are automatically entered and stored in a centralized database for easy access and search by unlimited users. Our applicant-tracking functionality allows you to capture a prescreened resume database of qualified candidates that can be searched each time you have an open position, which eliminates spending advertising dollars to post the job. Through extended use of the system, your company will begin to build a resume database that is an asset to your organization.

HR Datastream

HR Datastream offers our clients a training administration software that tracks any type of education. It's a powerful tool for handling all the administrative tasks of employee and client training, schedules, history, rooms, instructors, etc.


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Personnel Future

Our suite of systems provides a complete, flexible administration environment, which can be fine-tuned to meet the needs of your organization. With Personnel Manager, each employee record can accommodate virtually unlimited history, current personal details with photographs, appraisal records, pay reviews, absence recording, qualifications, competencies, training records, and future training requirements. Recruitment Manager supports recruitment campaigns. It tracks every vacancy and applicant through the recruitment process and ensures that the right actions take place on the right dates, automatically generating the appropriate correspondence at each stage. Training Manager enables users to identify, analyze and prioritize training needs, schedule training events, book venues and trainers, generate bulk correspondence and course documentation, automate the sending of instructions and invoices, track trainee details, manage waiting lists, report on post-course evaluations, monitor budgets, and utilize cost management facilities.

Peopleware

Peopleware Systems provides affordable recruitment management solutions to established and emerging corporations, as well as executive search and consulting firms. Peopleware solutions enable human resources professionals to reduce the time and cost to hire by assisting them in identifying the best possible talent for open positions and managing the recruiting process from initial job requisition through final hiring.


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Psychometrix

Psychometrix is a professional profiling package. It provides all the tools you need to construct, analyze, and understand candidate and job profiles, together with a suite of useful additional utilities. Psychometrix provides everything you need for a full program of professional DISC profiling. Our facilities are flexible enough to meet all business needs. The software provides three distinct questionnaires to meet specific requirements, including the unique "remote" profiling facility. The system will accept a candidate's responses from a PC or from a completed paper questionnaire form.

e Train

e Train is an experienced e-Learning company, providing strategic learning solutions that help enterprises achieve tangible business results, such as increasing speed and effectiveness of business execution, driving revenues, and reducing costs.


316 BICS/1110

�Learning Aid

OPUS Visitors

Purpose: Use this learning aid to review the details of some of the visitors to OPUS.

George Paxton

George is a friend from the past. He still works in HR but for a much smaller company. So far his organization hasn't seen a need to introduce computerized systems and databases to increase the effectiveness of the administrative functions. It's been a while since you've seen him and it would be great to get together again.

Christine Abbott

Christine is a senior HR manager for Admart, a very large retail organization that has its headquarters in the same city as Tonatel. The company is renowned for its cutting edge technology and one of your employees who used to work for Admart told you that its HR functions were definitely computerized. She was the one who found out that Christine would be attending the show.


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Gail Maskell

Gail is an HR Director and a very influential person in the HR Professionals Association. Her company computerized much of its HR function several years ago, although Gail herself had very little to do with it beyond making certain decisions. Harry Duke, her senior manager took a much more "hands on" role in the changeover but he's not at the trade show.

Jerry Talbot

Jerry is a freelance HR Consultant who did some work for your company some years ago. Although you're not sure how clued up he is on the technology, he has a good reputation, has a lot of contacts in the profession, and is very popular.

Brenda Paul

Brenda Paul is someone you've met on several occasions at association meetings. You're not surprised she's attending the trade show because last time you spoke to her she mentioned that her company was also looking into using computer systems to take on many of the administrative processes. You're not sure how successful she has been.

Don Nadell

Don is the HR manager at the company where you used to work. You don't know him very well but you do know that the systems have been computerized because you're still in touch with people there. According to reports the changeover was difficult and you suspect that Don will have identified the reasons for that.


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�Learning Aid

The Netbest Company Social

Purpose: Use this learning aid to support the practice in the topic Networking at a Social Event.

Brian had a great time at the company social. He and a few of his colleagues spent most of the evening in the corner telling jokes. However, when he saw one of his clients, Mr. Jared, talking to someone by the buffet table he couldn't resist going over. He asked him if he'd made any decision yet about upgrading his system. Brian reminded him that he could get him a really good deal.

At the end of the evening when he was in the lobby waiting for his cab, Brian found himself standing next to one of the divisional managers. There were no formal introductions, they just got talking and Brian told him about his ideas for improving the service to long distance clients. The divisional manager appeared to be quite impressed. All in all Brian thought it was a good night.

However, the following day he was disappointed to hear Sheila telling everyone how she'd been talking to Ty Ross, the head of marketing. She was confident that she'd made a good impression on him, which couldn't harm her chances of moving to that department. Brian wants to move to marketing. How come he wasn't introduced to Ty Ross?

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GlossaryGlossaryGlossaryGlossary

A Accommodation A conflict resolution or negotiation strategy that involves submitting to the wants of the other party in order to preserve the relationship. Active listening The highest and most effective level of listening. Affective conflict Affective conflict centers around feelings and personalities rather than the issues. Aggression A conflict resolution or negotiation strategy that involves competing with the other party to ensure that you achieve your goals, even if it is at the expense of the other person.

aggressive A self-indulgent type of behavior and communication style that reflects the person's desire to get his or her own way. Aiming Aiming is the first stage of the communication process. During this stage, the sender decides to initiate communication with the chosen receiver. The goal, content, and method of communication are also decided. Amiable The social style of a person with low assertiveness and high responsiveness to people. Also known as the Relater. Analytical The social style of a person with low assertiveness and


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low responsiveness to people. Also known as the Thinker. Arbitration Arbitration is a process whereby a neutral third party listens to the arguments put forward by both parties and reviews the evidence. Articulation The vibrating column of air coming from the vocal chords is shaped into speech sounds by the lips, tongue, soft palate, throat, jaw, and other facial muscles. These are called moveable articulators. assertive A type of behavior and communication style that reflects a willingness to stand up for your personal rights and entitlement, while still accepting those of others. assignation of accountability

An interpersonal negotiation technique that explains why the other person is accountable for causing the problem, and the consequences of that problem, if it isn't rectified satisfactorily.

Attentive listening The second highest level of listening. Auditory The adjective auditory describes anything concerned with the sense of hearing. In the language of neuro-linguistic programming, it is also used to describe people who have a dominant auditory representational system. These people prefer to take in and process information through what they hear. Avoidance A conflict resolution or negotiation strategy that involves withdrawing from the issue altogether.

Glossary

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B Body language An inherent and automatic part of interpersonal communication that uses the face, the body, and their movements to transmit feelings and emotions without sound. Broadside display Standing with hands on hips and legs apart. C Chronological A method of organizing and conveying information according to time order. closed question A direct question that can be answered sensibly, with just a simple "yes" or "no." Cognitive conflict Cognitive conflict focuses on substantive, task-related differences. Collaboration A conflict resolution or negotiation strategy that involves working with the

other party in an effort to find a solution that meets everyone's wants and needs. Communication style Communication style refers to how people prefer to express themselves. In the language of neuro-linguistic programming, these styles are identified as visual, auditory, or kinesthetic. Comparative advantage A form of persuasive communication that directly compares the benefits of two or more options or solutions. Compromise A conflict resolution or negotiation strategy that involves give and take on both sides resulting in neither party being completely satisfied or dissatisfied with the outcome.


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Confrontation Assertively asking for a change in behavior when collaborative negotiation is not a feasible option. confrontational assertiveness An interpersonal negotiation technique that describes the unacceptable behavior, outlines the consequences if it continues, and explains the expectations for the future. constructive criticism A verbal evaluation of another person's behavior or performance that also includes acceptable suggestions for making any necessary improvements. cooperative assertiveness An interpersonal negotiation technique that seeks to find a compromise which satisfies everyone's fundamental needs.

criticism A verbal evaluation of another person's behavior or performance. Cross-over matching Cross-over matching is when someone matches the other person's actions with corresponding, but different movements. For example, the rhythm of a person's speech can be cross-over matched by nodding the head slightly at the same pace. D Decoding Decoding is the fifth stage of the communication process. During this stage, the receiver interprets what has been seen and heard to gain a personal understanding of the communicated message. declarative assertiveness An interpersonal negotiation technique that states your opinions or

Glossary

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requirements directly and specifically. Diaphragm The muscular tissue dividing the upper and lower cavities of the body. Director An alternative name for a person with the driver social style. Driver The social style of a person with high assertiveness and low responsiveness to people. Also known as the Director, this person is very task-oriented. E empathetic assertiveness A method of responding assertively to unacceptable behavior or remarks. Encoding Encoding is the second stage of the communication process. During this stage, the sender mentally chooses the words and

images that will be used to verbally or physically express the communicated message. Evaluative feedback Evaluative feedback makes a judgment of the value, validity, worth, or appropriateness of the other person's statement. exploratory questions An indirect questioning technique. Expressive The social style of a person with high assertiveness and high responsiveness to people. Also known as the Socializer. Eye accessing cues Subtle eye movements that will help to indicate which representational system a person is using to think with. F Facial expression Movement of the eyes,


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eyebrows, mouth, and jaw to communicate emotion. Feedback A response to a communicated message. G Gustatory The adjective gustatory describes anything concerned with the sense of taste. H Half-mirroring Half-mirroring is using "half" of the other person's action. For example, if the other person is leaning on both elbows, half-mirroring would be leaning on just one elbow. I indefinite assertiveness A method of responding assertively to manipulative behavior and communication.

Inner critic The nagging self-doubts experienced by shy people. The negative thoughts that stop them from responding positively in social situations Interpretive feedback Interpretive feedback rephrases the sender's message in the recipient's words. The purpose of this paraphrasing is not to clarify the message, but to show the sender how the receiver has interpreted it. ISV Independent Software Vendor. A company that specializes in the development and sale of software. K Kinesics The static and dynamic use of the body and its parts in non-verbal communication.

Glossary

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Kinesthetic The adjective kinesthetic describes anything concerned with the sense of touch. In the language of neuro-linguistic programming, it is also used to describe people who have a dominant kinesthetic representational system. These people prefer to take in and process information through what they feel, both physically and emotionally. L Larynx The hollow muscular organ that holds the vocal cords. Also known as the voice box. leading questions A questioning technique designed to "lead" another person towards a desired decision or response. M Matching Matching is mirroring someone's actions; or the

speed, tempo, rhythm, and volume of speech; after a short time delay. Mediation Mediation is a confidential process in which a neutral third-party facilitator helps people discuss difficult issues and negotiate a mutually acceptable agreement. Metaprogram A metaprogram is a thinking pattern that determines what information a person will pay attention to, and what information is ignored. Relationship, direction, frame of reference, and focus of interest are all examples of different metaprograms. Mirroring Mirroring is simultaneously copying another person's posture, gestures, facial expressions, body movements, and weight


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shifts--to become a mirror image, to establish rapport. Motivated sequence form of persuasive communication that entails five stages to get the listener's attention, describe the need, explain how to satisfy the need, ask the listener to imagine the resolved situation, and ask for action. Motivators The factors which keep employees motivated, and which contribute to their job satisfaction. They are recognition, responsibility, remuneration, security, and status. N negative acknowledgement A method of responding assertively to hostile criticism. NLP Neuro-linguistic programming.

Non-verbal communication The act of communicating wordlessly through use of kinesics, proxemics, and paralanguage. O Objectives The milestone outcomes that must be accomplished to achieve the ultimate goal. Olfactory The adjective olfactory describes anything concerned with the sense of smell. open question A question that cannot be answered sensibly with just the words "yes" or "no." P passive A self-sacrificing type of behavior and communication that reflects the person's desire to be liked.

Glossary

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Passive listening The second lowest level of listening. The first level that a person mentally registers is the sound he or she is hearing. PDA Personal digital assistant. A pocket-size personal computer. PDAs can store phone numbers, appointments, and to-do lists. Some PDAs have a small keyboard, others have only a special pen that is used for input and output. A PDA can also have a wireless fax modem. Files created on a PDA can later be entered into a larger computer. persistent assertiveness A method of responding assertively to interruptions and unacceptable excuses. personal attack A verbal evaluation of another person.

Posture The stance of the body or it parts, such as a fixed, stationary body position as opposed to a fluid body movement. Probing feedback Probing feedback tries to gain additional information, or to clarify a point. It asks the sender to continue the discussion, and elaborate on the information already given. Problem and solution A form of persuasive communication that outlines the problem, and then details the solution. Proxemics The study of human's use and perception of space, for example spatial signs, signals, and cues. R Rapport The presence of trust, harmony, and cooperation in a relationship.


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Reason giving A form of persuasive communication that lists three to five reasons why others should adopt the same opinion. Receiver The receiver is the person who receives the communicated message. Receiving Receiving is the fourth stage of the communication process. During this stage, the recipient physically "receives" the communicated message, aurally and visually. Relater An alternative name for a person with the amiable social style. Representational systems Processing the world through the five senses: seeing, hearing, touching (feeling), smelling, and tasting. When a person

systematically uses one sense over the others to process and organize information, that is identified as his or her prime representational system. Resonation The adjustment of the pitch of the voice by controlling the vibration of the column of air that extends from the larynx to the lips. Respiration Breathing or the process by which air is inhaled into the lungs and exhaled from the lungs. S Sender The sender is the person who sends the communicated message. Six Sigma Six Sigma is a business improvement process that focuses an organization on customer requirements, process alignment,

Glossary

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analytical rigor, and timely execution. It is a measure of quality that strives for near perfection. The Six Sigma process uses data and rigorous statistical analysis to identify "defects" in a process or product, reduce variability, and achieve as close to zero defects as possible. S.M.A.R.T. An acronym to describe objectives. To be effective, objectives need to be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time specific. Socializer An alternative name for a person with the expressive social style. Spatial A method of organizing and conveying information in terms of physical elements, components, or parts. Supportive feedback Supportive feedback is

given in an attempt to bolster, assist, reassure, or encourage the sender. Although it appears positive, it does not necessarily indicate real empathy or understanding. T Tactile communication The use of physical contact or touch in interpersonal communication. Thin client A simple client machine or program that performs very little processing. In this client/server arrangement, most of the application processing is done in the (fat) server. For example, a thin client may supply only the graphical interface. The advantage of a thin client is simpler hardware and simpler maintenance; the maintenance for applications is done on the server.


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Thinker An alternative name for a person with the analytical social style. Topical A method of organizing and conveying information that can't be organized chronologically or spatially. Topical organization breaks the subject down into a series of sub-topics such as definitions, characteristics, types, examples, or classifications. Trachea Also known as the windpipe, the trachea is the air passage that runs from the throat to the lungs. Transitions Words or phrases that indicate to the listener the imminent approach of a contrast, a list, an illustration, a summary, a sequence or an example of cause and effect.

Transmission Transmission is the third stage of the communication process. During this stage, the sender physically sends the message to the chosen receiver using both verbal and non-verbal language. U Understanding feedback Understanding feedback attempts to discover the complete meaning of a person's message. It shows a willingness to understand the feelings behind the words. V VAR Value added reseller or value added retailer. A company that sells something made by another company after adding something of value. For example, the VAR might combine a computer, peripherals, and specialized software, all manufactured by different

Glossary

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companies, and sell it as a package. Visual The adjective visual describes anything concerned with the sense of sight. In the language of neuro-linguistic programming, it is also used to describe people who have a dominant visual representational system. These people prefer to take in and process information through what they see.

Notices

Copyright Copyright 2010 by Career Tech Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

Information in this document is subject to change without notice

and does not represent a commitment on the part of Career Tech

Services.

Trademark Notices All product names and services identified throughout this book

are trademarks or registered trademarks of their respective

companies. They are used throughout this book in editorial

fashion only and for the benefit of such companies. No such use,

or the use of any trade name, is intended to convey endorsement

or other affiliation with the book.

Disclaimer Every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of this manual.

While we take great care to ensure the accuracy and quality of

these materials, all material is provided without any warranty

whatsoever, including, but not limited to, the implied warranties

of merchantability of fitness for a particular purpose.

Documents

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