CHAPTER 14CHAPTER 14

Early Adulthood: Social and Emotional Early Adulthood: Social and Emotional DevelopmentDevelopment

Early Adulthood

• Spans the decades from ages 20 to 40• Havighurst tasks* (1972)

– Getting started in occupation– Selecting and courting a mate– Learning to live contentedly with one’s partner– Starting a family and becoming a parent– Assuming responsibilities of managing a home– Assuming civic responsibilities– Finding a congenial social group*This traditional view ignores some realities of human

diversity and contemporary life.

SeparationSeparation

Separation

• Young adults leave home at different ages and for different reasons.

• Healthy for young adults to separate from their parents

• Some young adults may live at home longer to save money until they can live on their own.

• Young adults who go away to college often have a room at their parents home.

• Even some college graduates may return home to live for financial reasons

Separation (cont’d)

• Young adults in the military have housing needs taken care of; rupture from home and neighborhood is sudden and complete

• Many working young adults live at home for financial reasons.

• Not uncommon for some young adults to get married and then move in with one set of parents– Sometimes tolerant parents will let unmarried child move in with

them along with a boyfriend or girlfriend

Separation - Individuation

• Individuation– Becoming an individual by means of integrating one’s own value

and beliefs with those of one’s parents and one’s society

• Men– Most men consider separation and individuation key goals to

personality development– Males more likely to show struggle or fight for independence

• Women– Most women consider social relationships of primary importance

• Employment and financial independence lessen feelings of connectedness with parents.– College maintains these feelings

Intimacy versus IsolationIntimacy versus Isolation

Intimacy versus Isolation

• Erikson (1963) saw establishment of intimate relationships key “crisis” of early adulthood

• Young adults with firm identity seek to fuse relationships into marriage or abiding friendships.

• Erikson believed it is difficult to commit to others until ego identity is achieved.

• Erikson believed it was normal to develop intimate relationships and bear children within a generally stable and nurturing environment during early adulthood.

Seasons of LifeSeasons of Life

Levinson’s Seasons of Life• Levinson hypothesize that adults go through certain

periods of life called “seasons”. • Believed the underlying pattern of a person’s life was his

or her life structure - Adopt the dream to become someone, leave mark on history

- Women - Undergo similar development but with social constraints both

from families of origin and society, making it harder for women to leave home

- More pressure on women to go from parents’ home to husbands’ home

Seasons of Life (cont’d)

- Age 30: transition (ages 28 to 33) - Characterized by reassessment for both men and women

- Later 30s - Characterized by settling down or planting roots- Financial and emotional investment in home- Concerns focus on career advancement, mortgages, and raising

their own families

- Some of Levinson’s views outdated by U.S. standards- Many women lead independent, single lives as long as they wish- Most do not care what others think of their status or living

arrangements- Most will live in cities where others do not frown on their lifestyle

Attraction and Love: Attraction and Love: Forces That Bind?Forces That Bind?

Attraction and Love: Forces that Bind?

• In developed nations, young adults are free to choose with whom they will associate as well as with whom they will develop romantic relationships.

• Attraction and love – The emotional forces that fuel these associations

Attraction

• Attraction: psychological forces that draw people together

• Physical appearance is the key factor in consideration for partners for dates, sex, and long-term relationships.

• Culture is a determinant as to which qualities are attractive– In some African tribes, long necks and round, disk-like lips are

signs of feminine beauty.– In U.S., taller men are considered more attractive by women.– In U.S., there is pressure for both males and females to be

slender.– Experiments in which men rated the same woman as being

more attractive when her photograph was shown against a red background as compared with white, gray, and a variety of other background colors

Sex Differences in Perceptions of Attractiveness

• Women more attracted to socially dominant men than men are attracted to socially dominant women.

• Outgoing men found to be more attractive

• Men put off by outgoing, self-expressive women

• Tall women not seen as attractive; opposite true for tall men

• Women more likely to marry an unattractive male– Not likely to marry an unemployed male (Sprecher, 1994)

Are Preferences Concerning Attractiveness Inborn?

• Evolutionary psychologists maintain certain traits more attractive due to reproductive advantage

• Cleanliness, good complexion, clear eyes, good teeth, good hair, firm muscle tone, and a steady gait universally appealing to both sexes– Possibly markers of reproductive potential

• Biological clock limits females’ reproductive potential• Physical characteristics associated with women• Ability to provide for family associated with men

Table 14-1, p. 293

The Attraction-Similarity Hypothesis: Do “Opposites Attract” or “Do Birds of a Feather

Flock Together”?• Attraction-similarity hypothesis

– People develop romantic relationships with others who are similar to themselves in attractiveness and other traits.

• Opposites do not attract– People in committed relationships are most likely to be similar to

their partners in attitude and cultural attributes.– Partners are like us in race and ethnicity, age, level of

education, and religion

Reciprocity: If You Like Me, You Must Have Excellent Judgment

• Reciprocity– When we feel admired and complimented, we tend to

return these feelings and behaviors.– Important determinant of attraction

Love

• Romantic love occurs within a cultural context in which the concept is idealized.

• Concept of love in Western culture is transmitted through romantic fairy tales that are passed down through the generations.

Love as Appraisal of Arousal

• Love– State of intense physiological arousal– The cognitive appraisal of that arousal

• Perception of being in love consists of– 1) state of intense arousal that is connected with an appropriate

love object– 2) cultural setting that idealizes romantic love– 3) attribution of arousal to feeling of love for the person

Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love

• Sternberg’s (2006) “triangular love” theory consists of three building blocks

– 1) Intimacy — the experience of warmth toward another person that arises from feelings of closeness and connectedness, and the desire to share one’s innermost thoughts

– 2) Passion — intense romantic or sexual desire, accompanied by physiological arousal

– 3) Commitment — desire to maintain the relationship through good times and bad

• In this theory, couples are well matched if they possess corresponding levels of passion, intimacy, and commitment

Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love (cont’d)

• Being in love– Refers to states of passion; friendship is based on shared

interests, liking, and respect; do not necessarily overlap

• Romantic love– Has passion and intimacy but lacks commitment

• Fatuous love– Has passion and commitment but lacks intimacy; usually dies

down when couple realize they’re not well matched

• Consummate love– Relationship with passion, intimacy, and commitment

Fig. 14-3, p. 295

Jealousy

• Partners become jealous when others show sexual interest in their partners or when their partners show interest in another.

• Jealousy can contribute to a relationship failing.– Can cause feelings of insecurity and rejection, anxiety and loss

of self-esteem, and feelings of mistrust

• Milder forms of jealousy can show that the partner cares.

• Young adults have been known to play jealousy games.

LonelinessLoneliness

Loneliness

• Loneliness – Increases during adolescence when peer relationships replace

family ties and teens are more aware of other adolescents becoming more successful at making friends and earning the admiration of others

– Associated with low self-confidence, introversion, unhappiness, depression; social support helps people to cope with stress

– Social isolation contributes to health problems such as obesity and high blood pressure.

– Lonely people may have poor social skills or lack empathy.

The Single LifeThe Single Life

The Single Life

• Young adults – More are choosing to remain single longer than young adults from

previous eras– Many are postponing marriage to pursue educational and career

goals– More are living together

• More families are headed by single mothers.

• There is less stigma today associated with being single than in the past.

• Singles report loneliness and a desire for a steady, permanent relationship.

The Single Life (cont’d)

• Most singles are well adjusted.

• Many singles obtain emotional and psychological security through a network of intimate relationships.

• Many singles practice serial monogamy.

• Some have primary sexual partner and occasional flings

• Some choose celibacy for religious reasons, to focus on work, to keep from getting an STI, or because they find sex unalluring

Cohabitation: Darling, Would You Be My Cohabitation: Darling, Would You Be My POSSLQ?POSSLQ?

Cohabitation: Darling, Would You Be My POSSLQ?

• POSSLQ– People of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters– Applies to unmarried couples who live together

• Less stigma for couples living together• Cohabitating partners tend to marry

– Have a 40% chance of divorce later on

• Reasons for cohabitating vary • Cohabitating couples less committed than married

couples– Less religious

Figure 14-4 p299

Figure 14-6 p300

Marriage: Tying the KnotMarriage: Tying the Knot

Marriage: Tying the Knot

• Marriage most common lifestyle among young adults entering midlife

• Marriage – Legitimizes sexual relations– Provides an institution in which children can be supported and

socialized– With marriage, one can assume the children had within the

marriage are theirs– Marriage transmits wealth from one family to another and one

generation to another– Provides sense of security and opportunities to share feelings,

experiences

Types of Marriage

• Monogamy– Marriage between one person and another person

• Polygamy– Person has more than one spouse (of the other sex) and is

permitted sexual access to each of them• Polygyny

– Males are permitted to have multiple wives as in Islamic societies

• Arranged marriage– Families of the bride and groom more or less arrange the union

of their children; found in traditional societies such as modern-day India

• Gay marriage and Civil Unions– Marriage between two males or two females

Whom Do We Marry: Are Marriages Made in Heaven or in the Neighborhood?

• Young adults tend to marry others from the same area and social class.– Cinderella’s story is an exception to the rule

• Young adults marry others similar in physical attractiveness, background, and interests.– Similar in height, intelligence, educational level, religion, even

similar in alcohol and tobacco use• Homogamy

– “Like marrying like”– These marriages tend to be more stable

• Age similarity prevalent in young adulthood– People marrying late or remarrying tend not to select partners

so close in age

Marital Satisfaction

• Quality of the marriage affects physical and psychological health

• Satisfaction with career associated with satisfaction with marriage– Both related to general life satisfaction

• Heavy drinking leads to decreased marital satisfaction

• Marital satisfaction decreased with the birth of a child

ParenthoodParenthood

Parenthood

• Parenthood is being delayed until late 20’s

• Most people choose to have children for personal happiness or well-being.

• People in traditional societies report having children to– strengthen marital bonds– provide social security– assist with labor (as in having more hands to help on a farm)– maintain family lineage; secure property rights and inheritance– improve odds of reincarnation– care for one in old age

Parenthood and Role Overload

• In developed nations, conflict and depression may occur when the mother has to return to work shortly after the birth of the baby.

• Mother is still primary caregiver – Encounters role overload

• Not as much stress when parents agree on beliefs about parenting, role assignment

Parenthood in Dual-Earner Families

• Mothers in dual-earning families encounter more stress than fathers.

• Dual-earning mothers show a decline in well-being, while men show an increase.

• Dual-earning mothers with flexible work schedules have less stress than women with fixed schedules.

• Problems in the workplace translate to problems at home.

• Mother typically cuts back on work or drops out of workforce

Divorce: Breaking BondsDivorce: Breaking Bonds

Divorce: Breaking Bonds

• Divorce rates in U.S. between 40% and 50%

• Divorced men more likely to remarry than divorced women

• No-fault divorce laws have helped to aid in the increase in divorce.

• Americans today expect more from marriage than past generations.

The Cost of Divorce

• Divorce tends to affect women more than it affects men.

• Women’s household income drops by 24%– Men’s household income drops by 6%

• Formerly non-career-oriented women often compete for jobs against younger, more experienced women.

• Divorced women tend to have sole responsibility for the children.

• Divorced fathers may find paying alimony and child support difficult while establishing a new lifestyle.

The Cost of Divorce (cont’d)

• Divorce may cause feelings of failure as a spouse and a parent; children do suffer from divorce.

• May increase loneliness and uncertainty about the future

• Divorced and separated people have the highest rates of physical and mental illness.

• Benefits of divorce– May permit personal growth and renewal– Can be an opportunity to take stock of oneself and establish a

new, more rewarding life