Chapter 2. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved.1 CHAPTER 2 THE SELF AND COMMUNICATION Berko, R. M., Aitken, J. E., & Wolvin, A. D. (2010)

Chapter 2. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved.

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CHAPTER 2THE SELF AND COMMUNICATION

Berko, R. M., Aitken, J. E., & Wolvin, A. D. (2010). ICOMM: Interpersonal concepts and competencies. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield.

Paula DeAnda - When It Was Me


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Intrapersonal Communication

Self-communication. Systematic interfacing with the self. Social reality--a relationship outside

of a social context and making it real through processing ideas internally.


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Self-talk

Influences Behavior. Your feelings. Your self-esteem. Your level of stress. Inner attitudes, our attitudes shape

our behavior.


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Avoid the Psychological Vulture

Attacks a person’s perceived weaknesses.

Eats at the person’s self-worth.


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Typical Self-Putdowns (Vultures)

Intelligence vultures. Creativity vultures. Family vultures. Relationship vultures. Physical vultures. Sexual vultures.


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Self-fulfilling Prophecy

What you predict to happen, will happen.

What you expect to do wrong, will be done wrong.


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Private List

Take a minute to jot down all the vultures that eat at you.

Think about behaviors you could try to change them.

Talk with a partner about ideas for changing the things that bother you and interfere with effective interpersonal communication.


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Effective self-talk can include various memory techniques:

Chunking. Ordering. Reordering. Context organizing. Mnemonics.


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Talk about It

Discuss memory strategies you use to prepare for tests.


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COGNITIVE PROCESSING

Each of us carries with us values (what you perceive to be of positive or negative worth), attitudes (your perspective and viewpoints), and beliefs (your convictions).


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IMBALANCE

The imbalance between your values, attitudes, and beliefs is called cognitive dissonance.

Guilty conscience. Instead of brooding: There is

nothing you can do about it now, and go on from there, with the internal pledge of not doing it again.


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SELF-CONCEPT

Self-confidence—a feeling of competence and self-assurance.

Self-esteem--an awareness that we are distinct.

Choice Therapy--we live and act in the moment as people responsible for ourselves.


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THE SELF

Idealized self--what you perceive yourself to be if you were "perfect.“

Real self--what you think of yourself when you are being most honest about your interests, thoughts, emotions, and needs.


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Should self--contains all the "oughts" and "shoulds" that serve as your moral guidelines.

Public self--the you you let others know.


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THEORIES OF SELF-CONCEPT

Self: the spiritual, the material, the social, and the physical.

Social interaction. Situational.


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UNDERSTANDING YOUR SELFJohari window

Photo from http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3094/3151607460_0f90928833.jpg


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Johari Window Self Analysis

How well do you know yourself? How open are you with others?


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SELF-IDENTITY AND COMMUNICATION

Social Interaction Theory claims that the presentation of our self is actually a carefully conceived performance.


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COMMUNICATION ANXIETY

Publicly anxious people are strongly hesitant about communicating with others.

Privately anxious people mentally resist active communication, but will participate--often by forcing themselves.


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Other concerns to consider:

Listener apprehension. Effects of communication anxiety.


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Solutions

Skill training to deal with anxiety. Systematic desensitization. Cognitive modification. Willingness to communicate. Drug therapy.


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Positive Visualization

Practice positive visualization. Accept the anxiety.


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Try Positive Visualization about an Upcoming Conversation


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Application Learning Activities

Discuss with a partner or small group members or complete on your own outside class.


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PSYCHOLOGICAL VULTURES

Consider these suggestions for eliminating psychological vultures. Give an example of each by writing our self talk you can use right now.

Pat yourself on the back by saying something good about yourself.

Pat someone else on the back by saying something good and true about her or him.

Recognize your self-put-downs. Block each put-down. Turn the put-down around. Positive self-talk plus visualization


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AFFIRMATIONS

Make a list of ten positive affirmations, which are meaningful to you. You may look on the Internet for inspiration at Banish negative self talk or Positive Affirmations to Reverse Negative Self Talk or a site of your choice. You may want to convert them into refrigerator magnets, for example (see http://www.MotivationalRefrigeratorMagnets.com) Read the list every day for a month or specified time length of your choosing. Does reading the list have an effect?


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Complete the Willingness to Communicate (WTC)

Discuss or write a reflection about your score and what it means. You may want to write a plan for improving your communication skills. http://www.jamescmccroskey.com/measures/WTC.htm


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DOVE

Find some of the Dove advertisements about self esteem and beauty. What is the effect of the media on self-esteem? Are there different pressures for women than men? See for example, The Dove self-esteem Fund or a Dove film - Girl's self-esteem or find your own Internet example. Discuss or write a brief reflection by relating what you find to a concept in the chapter.


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ENDCHAPTER 2THE SELF AND COMMUNICATION

Berko, R. M., Aitken, J. E., & Wolvin, A. D. (2010). ICOMM: Interpersonal concepts and competencies. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield.

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Chapter 2. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved.1 CHAPTER 2 THE SELF AND COMMUNICATION Berko, R. M., Aitken, J. E., & Wolvin, A. D. (2010)