Chapter 9: Introductory ParagraphsCopyright © 2011

In previous chapters, we learned about the organization of the essay, focusing on the Thesis Statement and the Paragraphs of Support. Our discussion would not be complete, however, if we did not also focus on the Introduction, which is positioned at the beginning of the essay, and the Conclusion, positioned at the end. Chapter 9 focuses on the techniques that make for an effective Introduction while Chapter 10 explains the strategies that lead to an effective Conclusion.

The Introduction to the essay has two goals:

1. get the readers’ interest2. provide background or context for the Topic

In the first case, you motivate the readers to read your essay, and in the second, you provide background or context so your readers will better understand what you are writing about. It’s generally true that the more formal the essay, the less you will rely on “getting the readers’ interest,” and the more complex the essay is (in relation to the knowledge level of your readers), the more background or context you will need to provide to help the readers understand what’s going on.

Here’s another important point about the Introductory Paragraph: The last sentence of the Introductory Paragraph should be your Thesis Statement.

But, first things first: Before writing your Introduction, put together an Informal Outline – the Thesis Statement and three main Support Points (see Chapter 2). Your Introduction will not be effective if you don’t have an Informal Outline – a “road map” showing where you’re headed in your essay and how to get there.

The good news is that Introductions are probably the least difficult part of the essay. That’s because getting the readers’ interest is easier than developing and clearly expressing the support or evidence for your Thesis. Writers have already come up with ways to get the readers’ interest and provide

background, so you don’t have to “reinvent the wheel” each time you write an Introduction. This chapter gives examples of the most popular types of Introductions. Included are examples from students like you as well as professional writers. Both draw their ideas from the same well, and so can you. (In the following examples, each Introduction is in Italics and finishes with the Thesis Statement, underlined and in bold type.)

Introductory Method 1. Beginning with a Background Statement

A background statement provides an overview of the subject or topic of the essay and lays the groundwork for the discussion or support that follows. Providing background is the most straightforward method of introduction. In a complex or technical essay, the background statement helps the readers to understand the topic. The background statement also gets the readers’ interest by providing a better understanding of what your essay is about.

The first two examples are simple but effective Introductions that get the readers’ interest and set background for the one page essay that follows. (If the essay is not long, the Introduction is not long either.)

Example 1: Goals for Taking College English

Discussion in Classhttp://www.coe.gatech.edu/diversity/images/goizueta1.jpg

[Background on the Topic of an Essay on “Goals”]: Everybody has their own goals for their future. Goals are necessary for people to succeed in life. I want to be successful in my English class. [Thesis Statement]: My goals for taking an English class are to improve my grammar, writing, and my understanding of

English as my second language.

Jorge Pena – FRCC StudentSpring 2009

Example 2: Obstacles to Getting a Degree

Decision to Return to Collegehttp://news.washcoll.edu/events/2008/05/seniorawardsluncheon/30.jpg

[Introduction that provides Background on the Topic of an essay on “Returning to College”]: I have been working as a teller in the banking industry for several years and have recently come to realize that I want to do more with my life. To be able to succeed in the area that I want to, I must get my accounting degree. [Thesis Statement]: Now that I have finally started taking classes, there are three major obstacles that I’m encountering along the way. Those three obstacles are time, lack of focus, and working two full time jobs.

Brooke Ross – FRCC Student – Spring 2009

Example 3 comes from a student essay that compares two characters in the book Marley and Me. Background is important because the student writer must assume her readers have not read the book. Jumping straight into a comparison of the characters would be confusing, so the writer gives background on the plot.

Example 3: Marley and Me

[Background on the Topic on two characters in an essay, “Jenny and John”]: The book, Marley and Me, by John Grogan is a heartwarming story about a family and a loveable, but often out of control, Golden Lab. A typical American family takes “stewardship” of a very large, powerful, incorrigible, and yet loving canine. Like having children, the dog changes their lives. The two humans, husband and wife, named Jenny and John, come to love, be frustrated endlessly by, and have different approaches to, “owning” Marley. [Thesis Statement]: Underneath their differences, Jenny and John are alike because they are very caring, loving, and calm.

Comparison-Contrast EssayChris Moretti – FRCC StudentFall 2009

Example 4 is a more academic essay. Not many readers are familiar with animal rights legislation, so providing background is important. Notice how a professional writer uses background information about the animal rights ballot in California to set the stage for his Thesis Statement about a growing movement to provide legal protections for animals.

Example 4: Animal Rights

A Factory Farmhttp://www.treehugger.com/galleries/2009/05/what-does-inside-factory-farm-look-like.php

[Background on the Topic an essay on “Animal Rights”]: One of the historical election landmarks last year had nothing to do with race or the presidency. Rather, it had to do with pigs and chickens — and with overarching ideas about the limits of human dominion over other species. I’m referring to the stunning passage in California, by nearly a 2-to-1 majority, of an animal rights ballot initiative that will ban factory farms from keeping calves, pregnant hogs or egg-laying hens in tiny pens or cages in which they can’t stretch out or turn around. [Thesis Statement]: It was an element of a broad push in Europe and America alike to grant increasing legal protections to animals.

Nicholas D. KristofApril 8, 2009 The New York Times

Example 5 is taken from the Introduction to an essay on the ecological reasons why chili peppers are “hot.” Providing background is important, here, since the professional writer assumes that not many of her readers know much about chili peppers, except, of course, that they’re hot! Notice, also, how the writer uses several paragraphs to complete the Introduction. This is true because the essay is longer, the material is technical, and because the article appeared in a newspaper, which often favors short paragraphs as a method to bring readers along. Even with a multiple paragraph Introduction, the professional writer still finishes the Introduction with the Thesis Statement, just as you’re learning in class!

Example 5: The Amazing Chili Pepper

[Background on the Topic of an essay on “Chili Peppers”]: Like many other plants, the chili has a strategy for survival: make its fruit, the pepper, so nutritionally desirable that birds and other creatures will eat it and disperse the seeds. But the same things that make a chili pepper attractive to animals also draw bacteria and funguses that can kill the seeds.

It has been thought that the chemicals known as capsaicinoids, which surround the seeds and give peppers their characteristic heat, are the chili's way of deterring microbes. But if so, then microbial infestation should bring selective pressure on chilis — the more bugs, the hotter the peppers should be.

That has never been shown in the wild. Now, however, in a study of wild chili plants, [Thesis Statement]: Joshua J. Tewksbury of the University of Washington and colleagues show that the variation in heat reflects the risk that the plants will be attacked by a seed-destroying fungus.

Henry FountainAugust 11, 2008

The New York Times

Example 6 provides background on a technical topic (a toxic gas leak from a large chemical plant in India) that not many readers are going to know much about (see summary of accident below). Notice that the professional writer assumes the reader knows about the original spill, which is a big assumption since the spill occurred almost twenty-five years ago! Consequently, he provides background that updates the reader about what has happened (or not happened) with the toxic waste from the spill in the last two decades. But before we present the Example 6 Introductory Paragraph, here’s a history of the Bhopal Chemical spill to give you some background.

A short history of the Bhopal Chemical Leak:

The Bhopal Chemical Plant

Thousands of people died from the effects of toxic gases which leaked from a chemical factory near the central Indian city of Bhopal. The accident happened at the American-owned Union Carbide Pesticide Plant three miles from Bhopal. This caused a deadly cloud of lethal gas to float from the factory over Bhopal, which is home to more than 900,000 people - many of whom live in slums. Chaos and panic broke out in the city and surrounding areas as tens of thousands of people attempted to escape. Thousands of people have required hospital treatment for symptoms including swollen eyes, frothing at the mouth and breathing difficulties. Thousands of dead cats, dogs, cows and birds litter the streets and the city's mortuaries are filling up fast.

Bhopal resident, Ahmed Khan, said: "We were choking and our eyes were burning. We could barely see the road through the fog, and sirens were blaring. "We didn't know which way to run. Everybody was very confused.

"Mothers didn't know their children had died, children didn't know their

mothers had died and men didn't know their whole families had died."

The Union Carbide factory was closed immediately after the accident and three senior members of staff arrested. This was one of the world's worst industrial accidents. Nearly 3,000 people died from the effects of the poisonous gas in the days following the disaster. Estimates say that some 50,000 people were treated in the first few days suffering terrible side-effects, including blindness, kidney and liver failure. Campaigners say nearly 20,000 others have since died from the effects of the leak.

Somini Sengupta July 7, 2008 The New York Times

Example 6: Bhopal Chemical Leak – 25 Years Later

[Background on the Topic, “Bhopal Chemical Spill”]: Hundreds of tons of waste still languish inside a tin-roofed warehouse in a corner of the old grounds of the Union Carbide pesticide factory here, nearly a quarter-century after a poison gas leak killed thousands and turned this ancient city into a notorious symbol of industrial disaster. The toxic remains have yet to be carted away. No one has examined to what extent, over more than two decades, they have seeped into the soil and water, except in desultory checks by a state environmental agency, which turned up pesticide residues in the neighborhood wells far exceeding permissible levels. Nor has anyone bothered to address the concerns of those who have drunk that water and tended kitchen gardens on this soil and who now present a wide range of ailments, including cleft palates and mental retardation, among their children as evidence of a second generation of Bhopal victims, though it is impossible to say with any certainty what is the source of the afflictions.

Why it has taken so long to deal with the disaster is an epic tale of the ineffectiveness and seeming apathy of India’s bureaucracy and of the government’s failure to make the factory owners do anything about the mess they left. But the question of who will pay for the cleanup of the 11-acre site has assumed new urgency in a country that today is increasingly keen to attract foreign investment. [Thesis Statement]: If the primary offender is the Union Carbide company, who wants to pay as little as possible for the aftermath

of the horrific toxic spill, the secondary offender is the Indian government, who has shown itself more eager to keep foreign investment than to protect its people.

Somini Sengupta July 7, 2008 The New York Times

Examples 7 and 8 provide background on subjects that most readers know about, and probably have had first-hand experience with – “bullying in the workplace” and “the use of cell phones when driving.” Consequently, the professional writers do not take as much time with the Introduction compared with the more technical essays 5 and 6.

Example 7: The Workplace Bully

[Background on the Topic, “Workplace Bully”]: An eye roll, a glare, a dismissive snort — these are the tactics of the workplace bully. They don’t sound like much, but that’s why they are so insidious. How do you complain to human resources that your boss is picking on you? Who cares that a co-worker won’t return your phone calls? [Thesis Statement]: Bullying in the workplace exacts a significant psychological and emotional toll on individual employees and adversely affects productivity of American companies.Tara Parker-PopeMarch 25, 2008 The New York Times

Example 8: Cell Phones and Driving

http://www.switched.com/2010/01/31/cell-phone-driving-bans-have-no-effect-study-finds/http://www.cellphonesafety.org/vehicular/era.htm

[Background on the Topic of an essay on “Cell Phones and Driving”]: In half a dozen states and many cities and counties, it is illegal to use a hand-held cell phone while driving — but perfectly all right to talk on a hands-free device. The theory is that it's distracting to hold a phone and drive with just one hand. [Thesis Statement]: But a large body of research now shows that a hands-free phone poses no less danger than a hand-held one that the problem is not your hands but your brain.

Tara Parker-PopeJanuary 12, 2009The New York Times

Introductory Method 2. Beginning with a Narrative

Readers enjoy a story, especially if well told. That’s why the Narrative Method is a popular way to begin an essay. Writers can share a story from personal experience, from a friend or family member, from a current news event, or from research. If the story is interesting, it will engage readers almost immediately. Consider the following examples:

In the first example, a student writer sets the stage for his essay by telling the story of his experience in purchasing a guitar. The story provides context for his Thesis Statement that the most expensive guitars are not necessarily the

best. The best stories are not only interesting, but also have a direct link to the Thesis of the essay.

Example 1: The Best Guitar for Your Money

Electric Guitars

Schecter Paul Reed Smith http://melhartmusic.wordpress.com/2010/03/04/melhart-music-welcomes-prs-guitars/ http://www.samedaymusic.com/product--SCESTARGAZER

[Background on the Topic of an essay on “Buying a Guitar”]: Two years ago, I went to Guitar Center to make the first big purchase of my life on a guitar. I tried out all the guitars that appealed to me at the store and the one that struck my mind was the Schecter 006 Elite. I felt lucky that this guitar sounded just as good as the ones that were twice the price. Each time I go to Guitar Center I find myself always going towards the most expensive guitars, like Paul Reed Smith. [Thesis Statement]: When shopping for guitars, why do we always go for the most expensive ones? -- when a guitar that is half the price has the same quality and sound to it?

Matt Sunstein—FRCC Student, Fall, 2007

Example 2 uses a narrative that introduces an essay written by a professional sports writer on Lorena Ochoa, the premier female golfer in the world, now retired. Notice how the narrative or story from Ochoa’s life gives us an idea of what Lorena Ochoa is like as person, which reinforces the Thesis of the essay: (“The quality of her personality is as admirable as her golf”). The best introductory narratives are not random; they fit hand-in-glove with what will be discussed in the essay. As with earlier examples, the Introduction uses multiple paragraphs to introduce a multiple page essay. Before reading the essay about Lorena Ochoa, you might read some background information about Lorena Ochoa and her career:

Lorena Ochoahttp://www.google.com/images?q=Lorena+Ochoa+photos&rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox&oe=&um=1&ie=UTF-8&source=univ&ei=LpwLTcOKC4H_8Abg0rSpDg&sa=X&oi=image_result_group&ct=title&resnum=1&ved=0CCkQsAQwAA&biw=1071&bih=450

Lorena Ochoa is a Mexican golfer who plays on the U.S.-based LPGA Tour and is currently the number one ranked woman golfer in the world. She was only the second Mexican to become a member of the world's leading women's golf tour, where she quickly became one of the tour's top players, becoming the first Mexican golfer of either gender to be ranked number one in the world.

Ochoa grew up next door to the Guadalajara Country Club and took up golf at the age of five. She won her first state event at the age of six and her first national event at seven. All told as a junior she captured 22 state events in Guadalajara and 44 national events in Mexico. She won five consecutive titles at the Junior World Golf Championships and in 2000 she enrolled at the University of Arizona in the United States.

She was very successful in women's collegiate golf in the next two years, winning the NCAA Player of the Year Awards for 2001 and 2002, finishing runner-up at both the 2001 and 2002 NCAA National Championship and being named to the National Golf Coaches Association (NGCA) 2001 All-America First team. She won the 2001 Pac-10 Women's Golf Championships, was named PAC-10 Freshman/Newcomer of the Year 2001 and was All Pac-10 First team in 2001 and 2002.

In her rookie season on the LPGA Tour she gained eight top-10 finishes including runner-up finishes at the Wegmans Rochester and Michelob Light Open at Kingsmill ending the season as the Louise Suggs Rolex Rookie of the Year[18] and ninth on the LPGA official money list.

In 2005, she won the Wegman's Rochester LPGA. In 2006, her first round score of 62 in the Kraft Nabisco Championship tied the record for lowest score ever by a golfer, male or female, in any major tournament. By the end of the year she won six tournaments, topped the money list and claimed her first LPGA Tour Player of the Year award which goes to the player who gains the most number of points throughout the season based on a formula in which points are awarded for top-10 finishes and are doubled at the LPGA's four major championships and at the season-ending ADT Championship. She also won the LPGA Vare Trophy for lowest scoring average on the LPGA Tour.

In April 2007, Ochoa overtook Annika Sörenstam to become the world number one ranked golfer. In August 2007, Ochoa won her first major championship at the historic home of golf, the Old Course at St. Andrews, with a wire-to-wire win by four shots at the Women's British Open. She won the next two LPGA events, the CN Canadian Women's Open and the Safeway Classic, the first to win three consecutive events since Annika Sörenstam in 2005.

Also in 2007, Ochoa became the first woman ever to earn more than $4,000,000 in a single season, surpassing Annika Sörenstam's previous record of $2,863,904.

Lorena Ochoa Websitehttp://www.lorena-ochoa.com/

Example 2: Lorena Ochoa: “Simply the Best”

http://www.lorena-ochoa.com/

[Background on the Topic of an essay on “Lorena Ochoa”]: A couple of weeks ago Lorena Ochoa took time out from being the world's most dominant female athlete to fulfill some of the obligations that come with her success. The LPGA tour had pitched its tent in New Jersey, and Ochoa had been talked into journeying across the Hudson River to help ring the opening bell at the New York Stock Exchange, which would be nice publicity for the host tournament, the Sybase Classic. A black town car dropped her at the corner of Wall Street and Broadway, an unlikely destination given that it is the metaphorical intersection of money and fame, and Ochoa cares little for either.

She is not the type to roll with an entourage, and on this crisp morning Ochoa was utterly alone. Upon reaching the drop spot, it occurred to her that she did not know where to go from there, and neither did her driver — Willy, from Queens. After asking a stranger for directions, Ochoa finally navigated the two blocks to the heavily fortified front entrance of the Stock Exchange, which is patrolled by guards wearing mirrored sunglasses and dour expressions. She approached one, saying, "I am here to ring the opening bell, but I do not know where to go." Her hair was pulled

back in a tight bun, making her look younger than her 26 years, and her English is accented from having grown up in Guadalajara, Mexico. She could easily have been mistaken for a college kid from abroad hiking the canyons of lower Manhattan. The guard gave her a doubtful look that translated roughly to fuhgeddaboutit.

"I am Lorena Ochoa," she said.

Not even a flicker of recognition.

"The golfer."

Nothing.

Eventually Ochoa was rescued by Stock Exchange staffers and ushered inside. In recent years Phil Mickelson and Tiger Woods had also rung the opening bell in carefully choreographed appearances that nevertheless created a certain amount of bedlam. The Masters of the Universe at the exchange certainly love their golf, but as Ochoa was given a tour of the trading floor, only a few harried runners took time out from fueling the world economy to ask for an autograph. Afterward Ochoa returned to the corner of Wall Street and Broadway and loitered for 15 minutes while she awaited Willy's return. The city rushed by, but not a single person seemed to recognize her.

Willy finally screeched up, ending Ochoa's excursion to the big city. "That was fun," she said, settling into the backseat of the town car. "Now it is time to go to the golf course." She didn't say it, but it was easy enough to ascertain what she was thinking: Where I belong. [Thesis Statement]: Lorena Ochoa, the golfer, is that rarest of creatures: a superstar athlete who has not been corrupted by the forces of modern celebrity.

Alan ShipnuckJune 3, 2008, Sports Illustrated

In Example 3, a student writer uses a story about a stressful business trip to set the stage for an essay about how he deals with stress. The story not only gets the readers’ interest, but also demonstrates that his life is indeed stressful, and so coping strategies are important.Example 3: How to Deal with Stress

[Background on the Topic, “Stress”]: After flying back from a highly stressful business trip in New York City and feeling ill and exhausted, my doctor suggested to me that if I tried some form of exercising a few times a week or taking a meditation class or even making some time to relax for myself, I could reduce the stress I have been feeling. I am sure the three suggestions the doctor gave me will not be easy at first but will benefit me in the long run. [Thesis Statement]: Stress can be difficult to handle, but there are methods on how to cope with your stress.

Robert Abelev, FRCC Student, Fall, 2008

Example 4: Run-Walking to Success in the Marathon

[Background on the Topic, “Run-Walking”]: I am more couch potato than runner. But not long ago, I decided to get myself into shape to run in the New York City Marathon, on Nov. 1, just 152 days from now. (Not that I’m counting.) To train for my first marathon, I’m using the “run-walk” method, popularized by the distance coach Jeff Galloway, a member of the 1972 Olympic team. When I mentioned this to a colleague who runs, she snickered — a common reaction among purists. But after interviewing several people who have used the method, [Thesis Statement]: I’m convinced that those of us run-walking the marathon will have the last laugh.

Tara Parker-Pope, June 1, 2009, New York Times

Introductory Method 3. Contrasting Ideas

Ironically, the method used most often to get readers’ interest by professional writers is used least often by student writers. It’s what we call the Contrast Method or the (“you think the world is this way, but actually it’s not!”) method. With the Contrast Method, the writer leads the readers in one direction that seems believable, and then shifts letting the reader know that another way is actually better.

The Contrast Method can also be used with Thesis Statements as the following examples illustrate:

Thesis Statement 1 1People may think marijuana is a worse drug than alcohol, 2 but actually abuse of alcohol is more dangerous and carries greater risk.

1 Point of Contrast: People think marijuana is worse.

2Thesis Statement: “But actually, alcohol is more dangerous and carries greater risk.

Thesis Statement 21People may think that criminals identified by witnesses and convicted of a crime are guilty, 2 but actually ‘mistaken identity’ leading to wrongful conviction is a common and tragic problem.

1 Point of Contrast: 1People may think that criminals identified by witnesses and convicted of a crime are guilty.

2Thesis Statement: “2but actually ‘mistaken identity’ leading to wrongful conviction is a common and tragic problem.”

Here are some examples of the Contrast Method used in Introductory Paragraphs:

In Example 1, the professional writer sets up a contrast between what popular books about aging suggest and what is actually true.

Example 1: The Marketing of Aging Cures

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Younger+You

[Background on the Topic of an essay on “Marketing Aging Cures” – books suggesting there is a cure to aging]: Check out the nearest bookstore and you'll discover a remarkable thing: Aging has been cured. Titles like The Anti-Aging Hormones, Younger at Last, The Younger You, and Brain Longevity all promise, if not immortality, at least a few leaps back toward high school. There's just one problem: No one yet knows what causes aging and its inevitable consequence, death. And applying a cure to the ailment when you don't know the cause is haphazard at best. [Thesis Statement]: "All these magic bullets about solving the aging problem have turned out to be blanks," says Gene Cohen, president of the Gerontological Society of America.

Nancy Shute, "Why Do We Age?" U.S. News and World Report, August 25, 1991

Notice that the writer also used the Quote Method and our discussion of multiple methods.

In Example 2, a professional writer contrasts popular beliefs about the epidemic growth in crime in the U.S. with the facts that prove that crime is not actually increasing.

Example 2: Horror Stories about Crime

[Background on the Topic of an essay on “Crime”]: Popular perceptions about crime have blurred the boundaries between fact and politically expedient myth. The myth is that the United States is besieged, on a scale never before encountered, by a pathologically criminal underclass. The fact is that we're not. After spiraling upward during the drug wars, murder rates began falling in the mid-1990's; they are lower today than they were more than twenty years ago. In some cities, the murder rate in the late twentieth century is actually lower than it was in the nineteenth century. Nonviolent property-crimes are in general lower in the United States today than in Great Britain, and are comparable to those in many European countries. Nevertheless, [Thesis Statement]: horror stories have led to calls for longer prison sentences, for the abolition of parole, and for the increasingly punitive treatment of prisoners.

Sasha Abramsky, "When They Get Out" The Atlantic Monthly, June 1999

Introductory Method 4. A Surprising Statement

A variation on the Contrast Method is to give a Surprising Statement as a way to interest readers. We all enjoy a good surprise, and the same is true in our reading. A surprised reader is a motivated reader, which is why mystery novels are so much fun! As the following examples illustrate, surprise works well in a variety of essays.

The surprise in Example 1 is set up by giving some horrifying statistics about how many children die or are severely injured in car accidents. The writer then changes direction (the surprise) by saying that many of these deaths and

injuries can be prevented by taking some “easy steps.” This certainly gets our attention.

Example 1: "60 Seconds That Could Save Your Child"

A child seat properly usedhttp://www.google.com/images?q=child+seat+photos&rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox&oe=&um=1&ie=UTF-

8&source=univ&ei=-6ELTauzL4P98Abr5v2qDg&sa=X&oi=image_result_group&ct=title&resnum=1&ved=0CDQQsAQwAA&biw=1071&bih=450

[Background on the Topic of an essay on “Child Seats”]: Have a minute? Good. Because that may be all it takes to save the life of a child—your child. Accidents kill nearly 8,000 children under age 15 each year. And for every fatality, 42 more children are admitted to hospitals for treatment. [Thesis Statement]: Yet such deaths and injuries can be avoided through these easy steps parents can take right now. You don't have a minute to lose.

Cathy Perlmutter with Maureen Sangiorgio, Prevention Magazine, September 1993

In Example 2, the student writer immediately springs the surprise giving the depressing statistic that only “about half of each freshman class…ever graduates.” She then provides background on the problem, and finishes with her Thesis that the core of the problem is that many students do not realize the time and dedication to study that success in college requires.

Example 2: What It Takes to Succeed in College

http://isu.indstate.edu/writing/handouts/setv/prints/SETV9P.html

[Background on the Topic of an essay on “Graduation from College”]: Only about half of each freshman class that attend a state college or university each year ever graduates. It is not that first year students are not intelligent, and the reasons half drop out are many. Some merely get homesick, others transfer to different colleges, and still others leave for personal or economic reasons. Yet a large number of students do leave for academic reasons, and [Thesis Statement]: most of these students never graduate because they do not realize the time and dedication to study that success in college requires.Indiana State University Student, Spring 2007http://isu.indstate.edu/writing/handouts/setv/prints/SETV9P.html

For Example 3, given what has happened to the American car industry, perhaps the statement that “American tastes [no longer] dominate the world's automotive market” is not such a surprise. Still, the professional writer uses

the surprise as a variation on the “you think the world’s this way, but it ‘ain’t’ necessarily so” theme.

Example 3: The Future of Car Design

Chinese Designed “Chery” Sportscar

[Background on the Topic of an essay on “Chinese Designed Cars” with Surprise]: American tastes dominated the world's automotive market for a century, but all that's changing now. Today it's the increasingly well-to-do Chinese car-buyer that industry wants to woo and win, thanks to this incredible fact—China has, over the last three months running, surpassed the U.S. in terms of volume sales of automobiles. Ever wonder why Ford's new Fiesta has an instrument panel that looks like a cell phone? Because that's what's familiar to its target audience of 20- and 30-something Chinese. It's also why Chinese versions of the Fiesta come in sedan size, with four doors, rather than as hatchbacks, which are anathema in the Middle Kingdom. [Thesis Statement]: Increasingly, the design of cars will reflect, not American, but Chinese tastes.

Melinda Liu, Newsweek, April 25, 2009

Introductory Method 5. Beginning with a Quotation

A Quote is a traditional and respected way of generating reader interest in an essay or a public speech. If you’ve ever attended a graduation ceremony, the Quote Method is a favorite of the guest speaker. That’s because famous people often say interesting things that are worth quoting, but also because people attending the graduation, or in your case, readers of your essay, make a link between your essay and the reputation of the famous person. That makes your writing more believable!

In Example 1, a student writer skillfully uses an age old quote that reflects traditional America: (“neither a borrower nor a lender be”). The quote is ironic in light of what America has become, in which our individual and national debt has never been higher! All this sets the stage for the Thesis Statement concerning the wise use of credit cards.

Example 1: How to Use a Credit Card Wisely

http://edwardkhoo.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/kad-kredit.jpg

[Background on the Topic of an essay on “Credit Cards”]: “Neither a borrower nor a lender be." Most students have heard this old saying, either from parents or grandparents. But in this day and age, with credit cards accounting for a large part of our purchases, few people can say they never borrow. In fact, credit has become part of the American way. While a credit card can cause trouble in the hands of a spendthrift, [Thesis Statement]: when used wisely credit cards can help provide for a student's needs while also

teaching him or her how to manage money.

Indiana State University Student, Fall 2007http://isu.indstate.edu/writing/handouts/setv/prints/SETV9P.html

Example 2: School’s Hidden Influence Perhaps the most famous educational theorist is John Dewey, so the student writer in Example 2 certainly helps the credibility of her writing by using one of Dewey’s quotes, as she attempts to prove that the school system today is too concerned with teaching students “what to think” instead of “how to think” for themselves. Here first is a brief summary of Dewey’s accomplishments to provide background:

John Dewey (1859-1952) was an American psychologist, philosopher, educator, social critic and political activist. He was born in Burlington, Vermont, on 20 October 1859. In 1894 he became the chairman of the department of philosophy, psychology, and pedagogy at the University of Chicago. He was outspoken on education, domestic and international politics, and numerous social movements. Among the many concerns that attracted Dewey's support were women's suffrage, progressive education, educator's rights, the Humanistic movement, and world peace. Dewey died in New York City on 1 June 1952.

http://dewey.pragmatism.org/

[Background on the Topic of an essay on “School’s Hidden Influence” with a Quote]: The American philosopher John Dewey once said that the job of the educational system in a democracy is "to teach students how to think, not what to think." [Thesis Statement]: Dewey's point, however, is not always upheld in our schools as teachers sometimes impose their own political and even religious beliefs on unsuspecting students.

Indiana State University Student, Spring 2008http://isu.indstate.edu/writing/handouts/setv/prints/SETV9P.html

Introductory Method 6. Beginning with a Question

An often used method of introduction is to Ask a Question. When a writer Asks a Question, the reader wants to know the answer! Notice how the questions in the following Introductory Paragraphs are used to catch the readers’ interest:

Example 1: Jobs I’ve Learned From

Example 1, taken from a short essay, has a short Introduction. The Introduction is based on a Question in which the student writer connects the fact that most of his readers work for a living and therefore have thoughts about their jobs with his Thesis: (how he has learned from jobs he has had).

[Background on the Topic of an essay on “My Jobs”]: Do you find your job fun and exciting? Here are some jobs that I have worked that I enjoyed doing. [Thesis Statement]: Being a construction worker, a waiter, and a mail carrier have let me explore different areas in the work force.

Hugo Ferrer – FRCC Student, Spring 2009

Example 2: Education’s Role in Slavery and Freedom in 19th Century America

In Example 2, the writer uses a Question to encourage the readers to think about how education has been used for different purposes in our country. The Question provides background for the Thesis, which concerns the famous African American philosopher and activist, Frederick Douglass, and his writings on the relationship between education and slavery in 19th century

America. Before we explore Example 2, here first is a brief summary of Fredrick Douglas’s courageous and influential life.

Frederick Douglass was one of the foremost leaders of the abolitionist movement, which fought to end slavery within the United States in the decades prior to the Civil War. A brilliant speaker, Douglass was asked by the American Anti-Slavery Society to engage in a tour of lectures, and so became recognized as one of America's first great black speakers. He won world fame when his autobiography was publicized in 1845. Two years later he began publishing an antislavery paper called the North Star. Douglass served as an adviser to President Abraham Lincoln during the Civil War and fought for the adoption of constitutional amendments that guaranteed voting rights and other civil liberties for blacks. Douglass provided a powerful voice for human rights during this period of American history and is still revered today for his contributions against racial injustice.

http://www.history.rochester.edu/class/douglass/home.html

[Background on the Topic from an essay on “Frederick Douglass”]: One has the right to ask the question: What is the purpose of Education in our country? The Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass discusses the relationship between education and slavery in 19th century America, showing how white control of education reinforced slavery and how Douglass and other enslaved African Americans viewed education while they endured. Moreover, the book discusses the role that education played in the acquisition of freedom. [Thesis Statement]: Education was a major force for social change with regard to slavery.

The Writing Center, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, 2009 http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/introductions.html

Introductory Method 7. Beginning with a Definition

A Definition at the beginning of an essay can give valuable information to readers. A Definition can explain a confusing concept or clarify a complicated idea. It also lends credibility to your writing.

In Example 1, a student writer uses the definition of “discipline” to reinforce her thesis that society suffers from its opposite, and in Example 2, the student writer does the same with the definition of “democracy.” In both cases, the Definition Method gets the readers’ interest, provides background, and lends credibility to the writer’s Thesis.

Example 1: An Absence of Discipline

[Background on the Topic of an essay on “Students Today”]: Webster’s Dictionary defines discipline as “to bring to a state of order and obedience by training and control.” Using this definition, one can argue that parenting today is distinguished by an absence of discipline. Children today get their marching orders not from their parents, but from their peer group. As a consequence, [Thesis Statement]: our children are failing in school, failing in social responsibility, and failing in the task of growing up

Sofia Bakhvalova– FRCC Student, Spring 2009

Example 2: The Importance of Voting in a Democracy

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Governor of California, Votinghttp://scrapetv.com/News/News%20Pages/Politics/images-3/arnold-schwarzenegger-voting.jpg

[Background on the Topic of an essay on “Voting”]: We have long prided ourselves for having democracy, but a democracy is not something to be taken for granted. Merriam-Webster defines a democracy as “a government in which the supreme power is vested in the people and exercised by them directly or indirectly through a system of representation usually involving periodically held free elections.” However, how can a country call itself a democracy when in most elections less than 25% of the people vote, and even in the elections for president less that 50% of the people vote? [Thesis Statement]: Our country needs to place a priority on significantly increasing the vote if we are to perserve our democratic traditions.

Jinjing – FRCC Student, Spring 2010

Introductory Method 8. Beginning with a Description

Capture the readers’ interest and provide background by describing a person or a scene that serve as the Topic in the essay. Descriptions are a good starting point for the readers, especially when the Thesis and Support Paragraphs are analytical and difficult to understand. Consider the following examples:

Example 1: Martin Luther King

Notice that Example 1 is not a descriptive essay about Martin Luther King’s looks; rather, the description introduces an analytical essay about Martin Luther King’s accomplishments. The description not only introduces the essay but also reinforces the Thesis that Martin Luther King is unusual, a great man.

First, here’s a brief summary of Dr. King’s civil rights experience and contributions as background.

Martin Luther Kinghttp://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/44553a9ccd7c.gif

Martin Luther King was the leader of the Civil Rights movement in America in the 1950s and 60s. His ideals for the movement he took from Christianity; its operational techniques from Gandhi. In the eleven-year period between 1957 and 1968, King traveled over six million miles and spoke over twenty-five hundred times, appearing wherever there was injustice, protest, and action; and meanwhile he wrote five books as well as numerous articles. In these years, he led a massive protest in Birmingham, Alabama, that caught the attention of the entire world, providing what he called a coalition of conscience. and inspiring his "Letter from a Birmingham Jail", a manifesto of the Negro revolution; he planned the drives in Alabama for the registration of Negroes as voters; he directed the peaceful march on Washington, D.C., of 250,000 people to whom he delivered his address, "l Have a Dream", he conferred with President John F. Kennedy and campaigned for President Lyndon B. Johnson; he was arrested upwards of twenty times and assaulted at least four times; he was awarded five honorary degrees; was named Man of the Year by Time magazine in 1963; and became not only the symbolic leader of American blacks but also a world figure.

At the age of thirty-five, Martin Luther King, Jr., was the youngest man to have received the Nobel Peace Prize. When notified of his selection, he announced that he would turn over the prize money of $54,123 to the furtherance of the civil rights movement.

On the evening of April 4, 1968, while standing on the balcony of his motel room in Memphis, Tennessee, where he was to lead a protest march in sympathy with striking garbage workers of that city, he was assassinated, but his dream of a country where [people] “will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character” lives on.

http://nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/peace/laureates/1964/king-bio.html

Example 1: Martin Luther King

[Background on the Topic of an essay on “Martin Luther King”]: He was a fairly large man, who always appeared in dark suits that made his cocoa brown skin seem even darker. He had a kind face with a high forehead and sensitive eyes. While he looked like a man with a great capacity for love and understanding, he also projected an image of strength with his sturdy body and determined walk. His voice could be soft and soothing, or it could be so powerful that it could rouse a thousand people to action. [Thesis Statement]: This man was Martin Luther King, and no educated person in America should be ignorant of his contributions to our nation.

Shenandoah University Writing Center, Spring 2009http://www.su.edu/writing_center/resources/handouts/setv/prints/setv9p.html

Example 2: Transforming my Apartment Room

In Example 2, a student writer describes what his single bedroom apartment looked like when he first moved in as a way of setting the stage for his Thesis: How I was able, through hard work and imagination, to transform my room into a fun space to live in.

Messy Room!

[Background on the Topic in an essay on “My Apartment Room”]: The room was about ten by twelve feet, with bare walls of a light indefinite color, which may have been green or blue, or even a sick beige. On each side against the wall was a bunk of plain wood with an uncovered mattress. I could not believe that this stark room was to be my home for the next nine months. I wondered if my folks had tricked me and sent me to prison rather than college. As the semester passed by, though, [Thesis Statement]: with a little work and imagination, I was able to turn my room into a home I was proud of.

Shenandoah University Writing Center, Spring 2009http://www.su.edu/writing_center/resources/handouts/setv/prints/setv9p.html

Introductory Method 9. Combining Methods

Oftentimes writers combine two or more methods in the same Introduction. A Quote Method can be combined with a Narrative; the Question Method combined with a point of Contrast; the Description Method combined with a Quote. The possibilities are endless as you mix-and-match to make your Introduction more lively and informative. Here are some examples:

Example 1: The Truth About Soft Drink Commercials

Pepsi Commercial - Britney SpearsSee the Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jt8uNG02ixA

[Question Method]: Did you ever see a soft drink commercial that talked about soft drinks? [Point of Contrast Method]: Well, some might tell us that the drink being advertised will quench our thirst, or that a particular diet pop has only so many calories or contains no caffeine. But most of the time the emphasis in soft drink ads is on the people--surfers on the beach, slim sexy women doing aerobic dances, carloads of preppies waving pop cans, or breakdancers hip-hopping down a city street. Most soft drink companies want us to believe that if we drink their product we will be part of a happy crowd. [Thesis Statement]: These ads are not selling pop; they are selling images.

Shenandoah University Writing Center, 2006http://www.su.edu/writing_center/resources/handouts/setv/prints/setv9p.html

Example 2: It’s Magic!

The Ultimate “Magic” Pickpocket!See the Video: http://www.istealstuff.com/video.html

[Narrative Method]: A decent backyard magic show is often an exercise in deliberate chaos. Cards whipped through the air. Glasses crashing to the ground. Gasps, hand-waving, loud abracadabras. Something’s bound to catch fire, too, if the performer is ambitious enough — or needs cover. [Quote Method]: “Back in the early days, I always had a little smoke and fire, not only for misdirection but to emphasize that something magic had just happened,” said The Great Raguzi, a magician based in Southern California who has performed professionally for more than 35 years, in venues around the world. “But as the magic and magician mature, you see that you don’t need the bigger props.” [Background Method]: Eye-grabbing distractions — to mask a palmed card or coin, say — are only the crudest ways to exploit brain processes that allow for more subtle manipulations, good magicians learn. [Thesis Statement]: In a paper published last week in the journal Nature Reviews Neuroscience, a team of brain scientists and prominent magicians described how magic tricks, both simple and spectacular, take advantage of glitches in how the brain constructs a model of the outside world from moment to moment, or what we think of as objective reality.Benedict Carey, The New York Times, August 11, 2008

Example 3: Our Incredible Future According to Kurzweil

An artist’s depiction of a human-made nanomachine tending to red blood cells in a patient with high blood pressure.

http://www.topnews.in/files/nanotechnology_0.jpg

[Question Method]: Do you have trouble sticking to a diet? Have patience. [Background Method]: Within 10 years, Dr. Kurzweil writes, there will be a drug that lets you eat whatever you want without gaining weight.

[Question Method]: Worried about greenhouse gas emissions? [Background Method]: Have faith. Solar power may look uneconomical at the moment, but with the exponential progress being made in nanoengineering, Dr. Kurzweil calculates that it’ll be cost-competitive with fossil fuels in just five years, and that within 20 years all our energy will come from clean sources.

[Question Method]: Are you depressed by the prospect of dying? [Background Method]: Well, if you can hang on another 15 years, your life expectancy will keep rising every year faster than you’re aging because of advances in nanotechology. And then, before the

century is even half over, you can be around for the Singularity, that revolutionary transition when humans and/or machines start evolving into immortal beings with ever-improving software.

At least that’s Dr. Kurzweil’s calculation. It may sound too good to be true, but even his critics acknowledge he’s not your ordinary sci-fi fantasist. [Thesis Statement]: If the accuracy of Dr. Kurzweil’s predictions over the last thirty years are any indication, we should seriously consider what he has in store for us in the future.

John Tierney, The New York Times, June 3, 2008

Adapted for Ideas about Writing, June 2009

Concentrating Solar Power Tower in the California Desert – Creates as much electricity as a large coal plant with no pollution

http://www.trec-uk.org.uk/images/solar_two_barstow.jpg

Example 4: Closing Off Options

[Question Method]: The next time you’re juggling options — which friend to see, which house to buy, which career to pursue — try asking yourself this question: What would Xiang Yu do?

[Narrative Method]: Xiang Yu was a Chinese general in the third

century B.C. who took his troops across the Yangtze River into enemy territory and performed an experiment in decision making. He crushed his troops’ cooking pots and burned their ships.

He explained this was to focus them on moving forward — a motivational speech that was not appreciated by many of the soldiers watching their retreat option go up in flames. But General Xiang Yu would be vindicated, both on the battlefield and in the annals of social science research.

He is one of the role models in Dan Ariely’s new book, “Predictably Irrational,” an entertaining look at human weaknesses like the need to keep too many options open. [Thesis Statement]: Dr. Ariely’s research shows that people often choose to make a poor decision rather than close off their options.

John Tierney The New York Times, February 26, 2008Adapted for Ideas about Writing, June 2010

Xiang Yu goes into battle, 207 BCE http://history.cultural-china.com/chinaWH/images/exbig_images/32b86351a364971c0d54c7fd2345beee.jpg