CJA April 2012

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April 2012 • Vol. 4 No. 4

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Editors note: This article was pulled from the archives.

We live in stressful times. There are the bigstresses and the little ones. Stress with anupper case “S” and stress with a lower case“s”. Included in the first category might be:Loss of a loved one, an illness in the family,whether it’s a physical or mental illness, jobloss, economic issues, marital discord, divorce,infertility, challenges with children, to namejust a few. The second group involves oureveryday lives, the nuts and bolts of living abusy life. The details of an active family,balancing all the different parts, such ascarpool, homework, meals, family time,making and enforcing rules, quality marriagetime, and on and on, can all add up to parentswho are feeling overwhelmed, on edge,and irritable. The more stress/worry, thegreater the tension in the air. And of course,children react to the tension, often, in waysthat increase the stress, making it even morechallenging for parents to create the kind ofhome atmosphere that they know is soimportant for the healthy development oftheir family, a sense of calm, security, stability,and happiness.

Children learn about calm where they learneverything else, from watching their parents.

How does Mommy act when the car breaksdown, or when my room is a mess? Whatdoes Daddy do when I’m moving too slowly,or when he hears upsetting news? Ourreactions to life’s ups and downs are observed,absorbed, and internalized.

Many years ago a young couple came to seeme to discuss the behavior of their six yearold son whom they reported as having an outof control anger problem. They illustratedthis by describing an incident that took placethe previous week in a local kosher restaurant.Mother and son were eating there together,and when the meal was over and she ex-pressed her desire to leave and go home, herefused. And then he stood up on the tableand said “I’m not going anywhere with you,you…,” using a very inappropriate word.When the parents finished telling me theirstory and paused to get my reaction, Iresponded by commenting that six year oldsdon’t know that word, and they certainly don’tknow how to use it in the way that he did, toso clearly articulate exactly, what he wanted tosay. And then I was quiet, waiting. Finally, thefather said, somewhat embarrassed, that heand his wife often argue and it’s possible thathis son may have heard that expressionduring one of the arguments. That child’s

Finding Calm and PassingIt On to Our ChildrenBy Rabbi Dr. Jerry Lob


problem was his role models. He was a goodboy, learning well from his parents.

Parents can teach children to respond to lifewith calm. It is important to ask oneself:“How do I react to disappointments, how amI when I’m driving and someone cuts me off,or if there’s bad traffic and I’m running late?What do I do with the everyday annoyancesand aggravations, when things don’t go myway? And what if, G-d forbid, I am goingthrough something from the first category,that is so painful, so scary, so anxietyprovoking? Do I model self-soothing, to calmmy own fears? Do I bring G-d into theequation? Do I remember what our traditionteaches us, that I must do my part but toremember that Hashem runs the world andevery detail in it? And that I need to trustHim, and that I can trust him, to throw myburdens, and worries, onto Him, to feel thecalm that comes from feeling Hashem’s love,the love He has for me, that He has for eachof us. To remember the way I talk to myyoung child when he’s crying, “Shh, it’ll beOK, you’re OK, it’s going to be alright, I’mhere.” And to do the same when I talk tomyself, to quiet myself, to look inside, deepinside, and say, “Shh, it’s OK, I can handle this,it’ll be alright, I’m not alone,” and to hearHashem say, “I’m here, I love you.”

There’s an expression that is used bytwelve-step programs such as AlcoholicsAnonymous, that is very comforting, “Let go,let G-d.” Letting go of my fears, letting go ofmy anger, my disappointments, and my pain.And letting G-d in, comforting me, soothingme, holding me, and filling me with inner quietand inner calm.

Dr. Lob is a clinical psychologist in privatepractice in Chicago, working with adults, ado-lescents, and families, for many years. Helectures and writes extensively on topics re-lating to psychology, relationships, parenting,education, and Jewish thought.

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An evening of inspiration and insight with

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Born in Hungary to a distinguished Rabbinic family and a survivor of the Nazi's Bergen Belsen concentration camp, Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis is one of the most sought after and inspirational speakers on the Jewish scene today. She has been featured in Newsweek, Time, New York Magazine, and major newspapers throughout the world, and has spoken to standing room only crowds at Madison Square Garden, the Hollywood Palladium, the Johannesburg Colosseum, the Miami Convention Center, and Binyanei HaOuma in Jerusalem. Her Torah classes attract overflow crowds, including more than 1500

participants in her weekly Young Leadership class. She is the author of best selling books, including "Jewish Soul on Fire", "The Committed Life", "The Committed Marriage" and "Life Is A Test", writes a weekly column for the Jewish Press and has a weekly television program.

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This Special Evening of Inspiration is dedicated in

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Lessons for Today Secrets of the Torah




Soup to Nuts Your kashrus Questions. . . Answered

Written by Rabbi Dovid CohenA service of the Chicago Rabbinical Council2701 West Howard | 773-465-3900

EMPIRE COLD CUT PACKAGE

Q. Empire brand cold cuts come tightly wrappedin a sealed plastic which is, in turn, inside a containerthat has a lid. If I remove the cold cuts and sealedplastic from the container without breaking the sealon the plastic, can I use the container for dairy orpareve?

A.The OU informs us that in the Empire factorythe outer container never comes in contact withmeat, and therefore you may choose to use it fordairy or pareve as long as you make sure to not let anymeat come in contact with it in your home.

SALMON WITH COLOR ADDED

Q. Do I have to be concerned about salmon thatis labeled as having “colored added”? Are the colorspossibly non-kosher?

A.From a kashrus perspective this does not posea concern. Salmon are (relatively) unique in that theystore certain carotenoids in their flesh which is whatprovides that flesh with its distinct pinkish color.Wild salmon ingest these carotenoids as part of theirregular diet, but farmed salmon which grow in acontrolled environment where those carotenoids arenot naturally available must have astaxanthin or

canthaxanthin added to their feed so that they willdevelop the proper color. Although these items areadded to the feed and not to the fish’s flesh, theAmerican law requires that salmon fed these items belabeled as having “color added”. Such feed does notpose a kashrus issue because the materials areinherently kosher and because they are digested bythe fish.

TRUCK WASH

Q. Just wondering – why does a truck wash needa Hechsher?

A.Tanker trucks that carry liquid products must bededicated to only carry kosher products, so that nob’liah (absorbed taste) of non-kosher product isabsorbed into the kosher product. Separately, thewash facility that cleans the truck between productsreuses water from one truck to another such thatb’liah may transfer from a non-kosher truck to akosher one. [Similarly, there are times that the wateris heated in a manner which allows for cross-contamination.] A truck wash which is setup in amanner that does not pose a problem, can becertified as “kosher” which essentially means that itis suitable for the washing of dedicated-kosher tankertrucks.

New Nature Valley Protein Chewy Bars are not OU certified. A free sample of the PeanutButter Dark Chocolate variety distributed recently mistakenly displayed an OU on the outer bag.

Ben-David Winery, based in Moshav Sdei Eliezer, was found to be using the "OK" symbol onbottles of Merlot 2008 (a dry red wine) without authorization. The label states “OK-P” (Kosherfor Passover), but, in actuality, the wine has a regular non-mehadrin supervision and is the productof heter mechira grapes.

Bellacicco Garlic Breads inadvertently omitted the Kof-K symbol from some bags. Theseproducts are certified as Kof-K Pareve even when not bearing the Kof-K symbol. The company isin the process of correcting the labels.

Get your kashrus questions answered here! Email [email protected]

KOSHER ALERTS


5/1/2012



™

Wishing You a Happy & Kosher Passover

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DIST BY: MEHADRIN DAIRY CORP.

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Wisisshhininng oou a aHHYYYoYWWi

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aapppypy & oosshheer Paasss vveevvesooovovPKKKoK

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Recipes from our kitchen to yours!

Fried Salami and Rice

Submitted by Eva Loskove

CONGRATULATIONS TO OUR WINNEREva Loskove

WIN A $150 Gift Certificate to

ShallotsSubmit your favorite recipe for

Chicago Jewish Advertiser’s recipe page.

To enter your favorite recipe, email [email protected]

subject: recipe contest

The winner will be announced in the next issue

Chicago Jewish Advertiser reserves the right to exercise discretion in the selection of advertisersand the duration of advertisements as well. Chicago Jewish Advertiser does not assume responsi-bility for the kashrus of any advertisement or product.

1 Tbsp. vegetable oil2 cups minute rice or brown rice2 eggs beaten1 cup chicken broth1 cup frozen stir fried vegetables3 Tbsp. soy sauce1/4 lb. salami - cut in chunks

Fry rice in oil for 3 minutes. Addeggs and cook. Add chicken broth,vegetables and soy sauce. Bring to aboil. Cover and remove from heat.Let stand 5 min. In the meantime,fry salami chunks in Pam until crisp.Add to rice and enjoy.

Ingredients

Directions


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CJA April 2012