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8/6/2019 Creative Writing Course Work http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/creative-writing-course-work 1/4 Atekka Iqbal Eng Lit Coursework When he was younger, the world appeared to be right. Everything was the way that it should be; it was perfect. He wasn’t very popular; however, he was reasonably admired; this was the way he liked it. However things began to change as he aged. It was exhausting trying to complete customary duties, raising money, and more importantly raising a family. He struggled to find a job, to make time for his wife and himself. No longer were there any days in which he could relax and unwind, in the simple, unmarried presence of his mother’s love and support. Knowing that she would always be there to comfort him through his ups and downs meant that he kept the world outside the door. But then she passed away and he lost his rock. After her death he found Lisa, she was his soul-partner. There had been a short period of gratification then the workload had taken over. Now he was no longer a naive child but a fed-up adult. Stan was back at the office again. The same office in which his senior had once worked, however, after years of keeping himself occupied using work as his excuse, this particular office now belonged to him. Trying his hardest to complete his advertising project for their most important clients; he looked down at his desk again. His office had been recently refurbished yet this was unnoticeable - Stan found it considerable difficult to be neat and orderly. The piled high sheets of paper, the 3 day old coffee and the broken pens were all posing distractions to his work; he made a mental note to sort out all the junk before trying to continue on with his task. Stan remembered the times when he could easily ask his mother to tidy up without being hassled… He was back in his bedroom, surrounded by all of his treasured toys, his Disney water cup and his fairytales. Shouting out of the room, “Mum!” Stan had decided that it would be best if he requested his Mum’s back-up, otherwise he would never get his room clean in time for Tom and Alex’s arrival and their weekly fun club. Unable to hear, he said loudly, “Can you come help clear my room up?” During their last get-together, Stan’s mother had taken them to Pizza Hut and it had been very exciting. He only felt fully comfortable with his mother’s presence so this visit was bound to be pleasant. They decided to have a competition, whoever ate the most would get to design everyone’s plates at the ice-cream factory; there was no way Stan could lose whilst his mum was with him.. His mother smiling, said gently “now Stan you know that you eat too fast”. “No mum, honestly I’ll eat carefully” he replied. He munched and crunched, whilst watching Tom and Alex’s chewing progress from the corner of his eyes; determined to win. Smiling with satisfaction, he looked down at the empty plates; a

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Page 1: Creative Writing Course Work

8/6/2019 Creative Writing Course Work

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/creative-writing-course-work 1/4

Atekka IqbalEng Lit Coursework

When he was younger, the world appeared to be right. Everything was the way that it

should be; it was perfect. He wasn’t very popular; however, he was reasonably admired;

this was the way he liked it. However things began to change as he aged. It was

exhausting trying to complete customary duties, raising money, and more importantly

raising a family. He struggled to find a job, to make time for his wife and himself. No

longer were there any days in which he could relax and unwind, in the simple, unmarried

presence of his mother’s love and support. Knowing that she would always be there to

comfort him through his ups and downs meant that he kept the world outside the door.

But then she passed away and he lost his rock. After her death he found Lisa, she was

his soul-partner. There had been a short period of gratification then the workload had

taken over. Now he was no longer a naive child but a fed-up adult.

Stan was back at the office again. The same office in which his senior had once

worked, however, after years of keeping himself occupied using work as his excuse, this

particular office now belonged to him. Trying his hardest to complete his advertising

project for their most important clients; he looked down at his desk again. His office had

been recently refurbished yet this was unnoticeable - Stan found it considerable difficult

to be neat and orderly. The piled high sheets of paper, the 3 day old coffee and the

broken pens were all posing distractions to his work; he made a mental note to sort out

all the junk before trying to continue on with his task. Stan remembered the times when

he could easily ask his mother to tidy up without being hassled…

He was back in his bedroom, surrounded by all of his treasured toys, his Disney

water cup and his fairytales. Shouting out of the room,

“Mum!” Stan had decided that it would be best if he requested his Mum’s back-up,

otherwise he would never get his room clean in time for Tom and Alex’s arrival and their 

weekly fun club. Unable to hear, he said loudly, “Can you come help clear my room up?”

During their last get-together, Stan’s mother had taken them to Pizza Hut and it had

been very exciting. He only felt fully comfortable with his mother’s presence so this visit

was bound to be pleasant. They decided to have a competition, whoever ate the mostwould get to design everyone’s plates at the ice-cream factory; there was no way Stan

could lose whilst his mum was with him.. His mother smiling, said gently “now Stan you

know that you eat too fast”. “No mum, honestly I’ll eat carefully” he replied. He munched

and crunched, whilst watching Tom and Alex’s chewing progress from the corner of his

eyes; determined to win. Smiling with satisfaction, he looked down at the empty plates; a

Page 2: Creative Writing Course Work

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Atekka IqbalEng Lit Coursework

sickly feeling began to take over his stomach so he quickly walked away towards the

toilet, passing the bin to throw away his napkin.

The sound of the bin slamming against the wall brought him back to reality; he

shook his head to clear his guilt. Stan decided to leave work even though he knew that it

was not to the highest standard, his reminiscing made him want to run home and hide in

bed. Locking the door behind him, he made his way home. Early this morning, Stan was

sat at his desk with his assistant. He had ran his hands through his dark hair, blinking

apprehensively; “I hate Fridays, the rush-hour begins so early just because of the

weekend” he’d predicted – he was right. His colleagues had already become a part of 

this swarm of bees. Strangers were pushing him, shoving him all in an attempt to get

further away from work and closer to home. At first, he had loved living in the city;

knowing that he was amongst the thousands of people who had seen these renowned

buildings and scenes but it was days like today’s that made Stan feel forlorn. A rather 

large man rudely bumped into him on a busy side-street and he swayed, lost his footing

and sprawled flat on his face. Everyone continued to pass him, no-one stopped to help.

Stan’s thoughts ran back to a certain moment when he had also fallen but then there

was someone to help…

Running across the school playground, he weaved his way though all of the

mammoth-sized climbing-frames and the chimpanzee swings on his way to the school

gates. All of his class mates were also out, making their journey home parallel to his.

Stan wanted to have a turn on the slide before he went to his patient mum, he walked up

the stairs and was about to sit down when he stumbled, his foot slipped and he went

head-first down the slide. In shock, Stan began to cry; his friends and fellow students

were either oblivious or humoured. His lovely caring mum however was running towards

him, her stunning brown hair swaying as she ran. The gaze of her mesmerising eyes

focusing on him; she comforted him and they went home hand in hand. Releasing his

firm grasp of his mother’s hand, Stan walked into his home and settled himself on to the

sofa. After a few minutes, in walked his mother, holding a glass of cold milk withchocolate chip cookies. This was one of the wonderful moments that he was extremely

grateful for his mother and loved her very much. Wrapping his hands around the glass

and feeling its cold touch, he brought it closer towards his mouth.

His mind jerked back to the present. Stan remembered the earlier phone call he

had received; Lisa had told him tenderly,

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Atekka IqbalEng Lit Coursework

“Honey, make sure you get some milk on your way home”.

Sighing, he spoke out to himself, “life’s much easier when you’re child”.

(1000)

Commentary

My source novel is the secret life of Walter Mitty  by James Thurber. In regards to the

plotline of my creative piece, I decided to keep in mind Thurber’s storyline yet make

some changes. Unlike Thurber’s story in which Walter Mitty is alternating between

fantasy and reality, Stan is remembering his childhood. He thinks that his life is

demanding and wants to escape back to his hassle-free childhood it appears to be

similar to Thurber’s plotline, Walter Mitty is living in a tedious world and escapes to adifferent life. However I decided to change the plotline after noticing that his childhood

memories all contained his mother hence I changed it to Stan truly missing his mother 

and keeps thinking about her, not his childhood. In terms of social relevance, I think that

it is very relevant in the present times. Many people are so busy with working and going

out with friend, they do not make more time for things that really matter for example their 

parents.

A James Thurber’s book starts right in the action, “we’re going through!’ The

Commander’s voice was like thin ice breaking”. This is effective because it draws the

reader in straight away and makes them want to continue reading. In my story, I decided

against this. The reason for this is that I wanted the reader to understand how he is

feeling and to get an insight into his thoughts and feelings. My character doesn’t realise

that he misses his mother and she is the reason for him back-tracking to his childhood.

Similar to Thurber’s book, my story is written in 3rd person too. Also, they both have

serious content but a lighter tone.

During times when he is under stress, he begins to daydream; a certain feeling, object,

noise etc leads him back to a childhood memory and Stan forgets his adult life and

thinks that he is a child once again. I took this idea from Thurber, who used links

between Walter Mitty’s different worlds. I used ellipses to show when he is reminiscing

and going back to his childhood.

Because of the age of the protagonist, the story can be read and enjoyed by people of 

various age groups and social backgrounds. Both younger readers and older readers

would enjoy this story because they could relate to his feelings and emotions; they may

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Atekka IqbalEng Lit Coursework

be experiencing similar feelings in their own lives. The primary purpose is to entertain

and the secondary purpose is to present an idea - you should cherish your mother and

be grateful that she is a part of your life.

I used a variety of complex declarative sentences and short simple sentences to keep

the reader interested. The first paragraph is mainly complex and compound sentences,

for example “It was exhausting trying to complete customary duties, raising money, and

more importantly raising a family”. This is also a 3-part list; it shows how many things he

has to do.

In the first paragraph, I was trying to show his thoughts and feelings. I used a

  juxtaposition to show how his life used to be “perfect” “admired” “liked” “popular”

compared to what his life is like now “exhausting” “customary” “struggled”. The former 

words have positive connotations of a happy and ideal life whereas the latter have

negative connotations of a difficult and challenging life. There are two semantic fields

used in this paragraph, first there is a semantic field of popularity and the other is a

semantic field of a gruelling lifestyle. This shows the difference between life with his

mum and life without his mum.

I used pre-modification to describe his surroundings, “piled high sheets of paper, the 3

day old coffee and the broken pens”. This adds detail to where he is. Similarly, I used

pre-modification to describe his mum, “patient mum” and “lovely caring mum”. These

adjectives are positive and show how much highly he thinks of his mother. To create

variety in the story, I also used post-modification to describe his mother, “his mother’s

love and support”. This shows that she is affectionate and cares for him. I used a

metaphor, “he lost his rock”. This implies that his mother kept him stable, without her he

was vulnerable. Another metaphor was used further along the story, “His colleagues had

already become a part of this swarm of bees”. This implies that the rush-hour is very

crowded and busy.

(734)