CS4-Social Skills and InterPersonal Skills

8/11/2019 CS4-Social Skills and InterPersonal Skills

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Emotional Intelligence:Social Skills and

Interpersonal Skills

Objectives:

Comprehend the importance of Social Skills

Understand how Interpersonal Skills are acombination of empathy and social skills.


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Social Skills

When you possess Social Skills, you have theskills that are used in relating to others.


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What is the difference between a skill and a technique?

This is a hard question, so think about themeaning of being skilled at something.


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Can people begin by being skilled or

do they have to go through some

training or experience before they

can be skilled?

Would you want to go to a surgeon who has learned a

technique for surgery or would you want to go to a surgeon

who has used the technique over and over and over and isnow skilled in the use of that technique?


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Learn it, then do it!

In order to develop a skill, you have to learn how to dosomething and then you have to do it.

Learning something is not the same as being able to doit!

You can become skilled at something only by doing itover and over. It is a lot like playing a sport or pianoor anything that you learn how to do well.


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Back to Social Skills

When we are talking about social skills, we aretalking about a certain set of information andskills that are necessary for you to succeed in

life.

If I could teach you these skills, what would it be worth

to you to learn to do them well?


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The fact is, it would be worth a great

deal to you.

Youll want to notice that not everyone has

these skills.

That is because of one or more of three reasons:

1They have not been taught the techniques, or

2They have not used them enough to be goodat them, or

3They are too lazy to care about them.


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Now, you decide!

Do you want to fall in one of these groupsOR Do you want to learn them and do them until you arereally good at them?


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Believe me, social skills are crucial to

your success. Lets talk about them.

What are the most important social skills you can think of?

What is important when meeting new people?

Did you know that when you meet new people themost important thing is what you do with your

body? Remember that 55% of what we say iscommunicated by our body language.

Think about the eight cues we talked about.


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The Eight Cues

Lets name them: To show self-confidence -Eye contact

Posture

Handshake

Dress and grooming

Facial expressions

Tone of voice and Word selectionLevel of relaxation/ stress

Energy level

Do you see how all of

these things relate tohow you use your

body?

These things showpeople whether or not

we are relating to

them.


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Discussion

Do you relate to adults well?If not, why do you think that is?

Do you think that you are able to determine how anadult relates to you?

What could you do to get adults to take you moreseriously?


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Where do we use these skills?

We need to look at the places that you can practice these

social and business skills. Dont forget that these skills include things like

talking to secretaries in offices using the phone

setting up appointments being friendly to the clerks in stores learning how to eat out order food

use the silverwarewhen to be seated and where to sitwhen to stand when someone comes to your office or table at

lunch and lots of other things.


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Where can YOU practice these skills?

The teacher asks you to ask the teachers aid for ten

copies of a handout. How do you address the teachers aide?

You have to buy a lunch ticket. How do you address the

cashier? There is a spill in the classroom and the teacher asks you

to go ask the custodian for her help. How do you addressthe custodian?

You are asked to deliver a message to the principals

office and bring back a response. How do you address thesecretary and/or principal?


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You can practice these skills NOW and you will

be amazed at the response that you get fromadults.

They think of you as just a kid, until you show

them you can act in a professional way.

Listen to a story from Flip Flippen about

determining how adults relate to youth.


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YOU determine

where you go in life and what you do!

Your skills and especially your social/professional skills are what will take you there.

It is not your race, your color, your I.Q., yourbackground, your heritage or your parents whowill take you there.

And, even if those things did get you ahead, theywont keep you there.


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Conclusion

Everyone is going somewhere.

Its up to you to decide where youre going.

Remember this, your skills are what determinewhere you go and what you do in the world.


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Interpersonal Skills

Back to the Emotional Intelligence acronym andthe very first scale, the I Interpersonal Skills.

Remember that the interpersonal skills scale is a joint

scale combining empathyand social skills.

What does empathy mean?

The ability to feel and relate to what anotherperson is feeling.


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Lets say that

You would want your friend to care about what

happened and how youre feeling about it.

And, as we just discussed, social skills are those

skills that help us when we meet new people andwant to develop relationships with them.

The kinds of skills we are talking about are: goodhandshake, posture, dress and grooming, manners,courtesies, language, humor and many others.

People who have these skills are usuallycomfortable in lots of different situations.


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So what happens when we put these social skillstogether with empathy? Well, lets see what

happens if we dont put them together, and we

have one without the other.

What would a person be like who had great social skills,

but had no empathy for others?

What do Interpersonal Skills

look like when balanced?


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For these people, getting along with others isjust a game. Its really usingothers to get whatthey want, but without really caring about therelationships.

We would say that those kind of people are not

genuine; they are phony.

Now, what about a person who had empathy for others,

but no social skills?


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These people could be sincere and really care about you,but would have no way to express it.

These people might be so awkward socially they wouldprobably never meet you, and you would never be ableto have a relationship with them.

Or they might show it inappropriately, such as being too

pushy, and you might not want to have a relationshipwith them.

On the other hand, a person with a good balance ofempathy and social skillsgood interpersonal skills

would sincerely care about you and have the skills toappropriately convey that to you.


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Conclusion

Stories

Leaders who are healthy and honest are peoplewho have good empathyand good social skillsin balancethats, good .

Documents

CS4-Social Skills and InterPersonal Skills