Dealing with Difficult People

PowerPoint Presentation

Dealing with Difficult People

Maureen McGarveyInternational House London

1 With the person next to you.

Briefly describe a recent difficult encounter you had.

2 Consider:

How prepared were you for the conversation?Did the other party have a valid point to make?Did you manage to get your view across to the other party?

.

3 Now consider:

How did you feel at the end?

Looking back, is there anything you would do differently next time?

4 Dealing with difficult people.

Without them dealing with you!

5 Difficult people are.

RudeObnoxiousArrogantDemanding

6 So we become

DefensiveLoudWithdrawingSuperiorConfused

7 They are the difficult people

And we are the nice people.

But it looks like we are doing the same thing!

8 Cycle of conflict

9 Possibly.

This can define our relationship with them

They might tell others that we are difficult

We might resent them

10 A Quote.

Resentment is like taking poison, and waiting for the other person to die[Malachy Macourt]

11 Another Quote.Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness which created them [Einstein]

12 Some Golden Rules:Don't apologiseForget about the paddingDon't explainConcentrate on the core phraseHave a fall back position in mindBe aware of body languageDon't hang around

13 Thomas Kilmann Communication Styles:

14Our style and style of others. May need to pre-empt own preferred style. Thomas Kilmann Communication Styles:

Seeking to satisfy the other persons concerns/needs at the expense of ones own

15Our style and style of others. May need to pre-empt own preferred style. Thomas Kilmann Communication Styles:

Neglecting our needs and others by not confronting the crux of the issue

16Our style and style of others. May need to pre-empt own preferred style. Thomas Kilmann Communication Styles:

Seeking an expedient middle ground; partial satisfaction for both parties

17Our style and style of others. May need to pre-empt own preferred style. Thomas Kilmann Communication Styles:

Working with the other person to find a solution which fully satisfies all concerns.

18Our style and style of others. May need to pre-empt own preferred style. Thomas Kilmann Communication Styles:

Using whatever is possible to win at others expense.

19Our style and style of others. May need to pre-empt own preferred style. Handout explaining to follow. The 3F Principle [Taylor and Lester]FactsFeelingsFuture

20Our style and style of others. May need to pre-empt own preferred style. Handout explaining to follow.