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Dealing with Difficult People
Presented by
Donald D. McCoy, MS, SPHR,
CLDC
EAP Trainer/Consultant
Objectives
Identify the Ten Most Unwanted Profiles
Four Intents
Threatened Intents
Three choices
8 Tips for Dealing With Difficult People
Your Plan of Action
Ten Most Unwanted Behaviors
The Tank
Ten Most Unwanted Behaviors
The Sniper
Friendly & Unfriendly
Ten Most Unwanted Behaviors
The Grenade
Ten Most Unwanted Behaviors
The Know-It-All
Ten Most Unwanted Behaviors
The Think-They-Know-It-All
Ten Most Unwanted Behaviors
The Yes Person
Ten Most Unwanted Behaviors
The Maybe Person
Ten Most Unwanted Behaviors
The Nothing Person
Ten Most Unwanted Behaviors
The No Person
Ten Most Unwanted Behaviors
The Whiner
There’s at Least One in Every Crowd!
Who’s Yours?
You
The Four Intents
Task Focus
People Focus
ActivePassive
Intent: Get
it in Order
Intent: Get
it Done
Intent: Get
Along
Intent: Get
it Right
When ?
Why? Who ?
How?
A Word About Excess
A Word About Excess
Confident
Assertive
Detailed
Passionate
The Result of Threatened Intents
Normal Zone
Task Focus
People Focus
ActivePassive
Intent: Get
it in Order
Intent: Get
it Done
Intent: Get
Along
Intent: Get
it Right
ControllingAnalysis/Paralysis
Approval SeekingPerfectionist
Exercise
Group discussion
Categorize Each Type by Intent
Answer the following questions
– When?
– Who?
– Why?
– How?
Secrets to Success
Understand, Accept and Deal Seriously with
Difficult People
Focus on Their Behavior, Not
Your Reaction!
Exercise
.
Tips For Dealing With Difficult People
Choose Your Approach
3 choices
1. Stay and do nothing
2. Vote with your feet
3. Change your behavior!
Recognize The Part You Play
Oh Yes, You Do Play a Part!
Think about these behaviors and which is
most like you.
Which description is most like the person you
have trouble with.
Why?
Tip #1
It’s Impossible to Please Everybody
No matter how competent and
wonderful a person you are, you
just can’t please everybody.
Tip #2
Be Prepared for Conflict
The best way to deal with a
negative situation is to see it
coming. Know ahead of time how
you’re going to handle the
situation.
Tip #3
Don’t Fuel the FireYou’re going to be tempted to retaliate – to lash out at toxic coworkers in an attempt to try and "make them understand" how their negativity is affecting you. However, 99% of the time, this is the worst thing that you can do.
Tip #4
Set Boundaries to Protect Yourself What Kind of Behaviors Pose a Threat to Our Boundaries?
What Can We Do To Strengthen Our Boundaries?
Tip #5
Re-frame the Problem
– Analyze How You “Frame” the problem
– How you think about the problem affects
both party’s response
Exercise:
1. I am to blame for ____________________.
2. He/she is to blame for ________________.
3. We both are to blame for ______________.
4. No one is to blame for ________________.
Tip #6
Lend a Helping Hand
Although not beneficial in all situations,
sometimes difficult people are looking
for an ally – someone to spill their heart
to and vent their pent up frustrations to.
Just by being a good listener, you may
be able to better the situation.
Tip #7
Reduce Differences By
– Listening
– Blending
– Backtracking
– Confirming
Listen To Understand
Do NOT Do
Blending
Non Verbal
Verbal
Backtracking
Two or three sentences
Exact words
In sync
Confirm
Reflective Listening
– Summarize what you have heard
– Ask them if they feel you have understood their
needs and “Intent”.
Tip #8
Move On
There comes a point where you
just can’t fix the problem, so
whether it’s them or you that has to
move on, somebody needs to.www.lifescript.com
Based on what I’ve learned today,
“Something I want to
stop doing is…”
“Something I want to
keep doing is…”
“Something I want to
start doing is…”
MY PLAN OF ACTION
Techniques I Plan To Practice on a Regular Basis
1. ____________________________________________________
2. ____________________________________________________
3. ____________________________________________________
4. ____________________________________________________
5. ____________________________________________________
My Accountability Partner is _____________________________
Signature _____________________________________________
THANK YOU!
Please take a moment of fill out an evaluation of today’s presentation.
If you are interested in further training for your organization, consultation, or additional
information, please contact me at:
605-322-4033
