Descriptive Writing

Essay Assignment:

Describing Your Hero

Observe Details

• Start with your memory

• Catch the reader’s attention by using every memory you have about this person

• List every detail you can think of

Literature Model• She saw the morning mist settling like puffs of

smoke scattered over the range of mountains that surrounded the entire countryside. Sharp mountainous peaks and curves covered with many shades of green foliage that changed constantly from light to dark, intense or soft tones, depending on the time of day and the direction of the rays of the brilliant tropical sun. Ah, the path, she smiled, following the road that led to her village. Lali inhaled the sweet and spicy fragrance of the flower gardens that sprinkled the countryside in abundance.

» Nicholasa Mohr, In Nueva York

• What words does the writer use to help you see the changing mountains?

• Rewrite the description, omitting the descriptive language.

• How does omitting the descriptive language change the passage.

Omit the descriptive language

• She saw the mist and the mountains. When she saw the path, she smiled. Lali inhaled the smell of the garden.

• Which paints a more vivid picture?

Sensory Details

• When listing details, use your five senses: sight, hearing, smell, touch, and taste

• Bring your hero to life by describing all aspects of him or her

• Remember ”The Drummer Boy of Shiloh” Joby said the General smelt of tobacco, leather, etc…..just like a father should smell.

“Show, Don’t Tell” or Writing with the Senses

• What do you see? What details could your share or comparisons could you make that would reflect the details you can see?

• What texture or consistency can you feel by touch?

• What sounds can you hear? What dialogue or noises do you hear?

• What tastes can you describe? What did you say?

• What odors or fragrances can you smell?

• What are the thoughts of your characters?

• What are the feelings of the characters? What happened that made them feel that way? What changes do they experience during the story?

You are far from home, traveling in another country. The landscape you see is rich with contrasts of vibrant color. The building where you are staying overlooks lush gardens, and from your room you can see the garden, as well as, buildings and hills in the distance. Write a letter to a friend or relative back home, and describe the view from your window.

Dear __________,

Sincerely,__________________

Precise Language

• Be exact

• Say what you mean

• Use precise nouns, adjectives, verbs and adverbs

Grammar LinkUse vivid adjectives to describe people, places, and things.

Sharp mountainous peaks…

Complete each sentence below with two vivid adjectives.

1. They enjoyed the __________dinner.

2. The _________ players left the arena.

3. It was late on a ___________summer evening

4. She smiled when she heard the _________music.

5. We neared the __________mountains.

Spatial Order

• Arrange details so reader can imagine the person clearly

• Use transitions words

• Go in order of describing the hero’s personal traits, why he/she is your hero, and how you could be more like him/her

• To improve your writing you need to make sure that your ideas, both in sentences and paragraphs, stick together or have coherence and that the gap between ideas is bridged smoothly. One way to do this is by using transitions - words or phrases or techniques that help bring two ideas together. Transitional words and phrases represent one way of gaining coherence. Certain words help continue an idea, indicate a shift of thought or contrast, or sum up a conclusion. Check the following list of words to find those that will pull your sentences and paragraphs together.

TRANSITION WORDS

• For continuing a common line of reasoning:

• consequentlyclearly, thenfurthermoreadditionallyandin additionmoreoverbecausebesides thatin the same wayfollowing this furtheralsopursuing this furtherin the light of the... it is easy to see that

• To change the line of reasoning (contrast):

• howeveron the other handbutyetneverthelesson the contrary

• For opening a paragraph initially or for general use:

• admittedlyassuredlycertainlygrantedno doubtnobody deniesobviouslyof courseto be suretrueundoubtedlyunquestionablygenerally speakingin generalat this levelin this situation

• For the final points of a paragraph or essay:

• finallylastly

• Transitional chains, to use in separating sections of a paragraph which is arranged chronologically:

• first... second... third...generally... furthermore... finallyin the first place... also... lastlyin the first place... pursuing this further... finallyto be sure... additionally... lastlyin the first place... just in the same way... finallybasically... similarly... as well

• To signal conclusion:• therefore

thishencein final analysisin conclusionin final considerationindeed

• To restate a point within a paragraph in another way or in a more exacting way:

• in other wordspoint in factspecifically

•  Sequence or time• after

afterwardsas soon asat firstat lastbeforebefore longfinallyfirst... second... thirdin the first placein the meantimelatermeanwhilenextsoonthen

Describing a Person

• Paint a portrait of your hero

• Include his or her appearance, personality, and attitudes

• Use sensory details, precise language, clear organization, and strong transitions