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This book is for all the boys and
girl who got aquiver of smile
matters more than your love . This is my story (A
true story) for a girl . I started to write this
because I didnt know a better way to propose
her. My friends made it into a book and now its in
your hand published and all done. Credits to all
my publishers and my editors Savitha and
Niharika..
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This page is dedicated to
The women who made me write
*An awesome women indeed.
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#1 The Introduction
#2 The pages of love
#3 Explanation of love
#4 The worst holidays
#5 Ideas of love (Guys never try mine!!)
#6 A caf time
#7 Facing the death
#8 The dream
#9 Weeks by weeks
#10 Now what??Some more weeks
#11 Eighth week
#12 The endingStory ends!
Till this it's from Sundars point of view
From here my twist starts these chapters are from
Niharika and Avanthikas point of view seeing
Sundar as a friend and a guy who loved deeply...
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#13My view(Niharika)
#14 Avantikas view
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Sid thinks he finds the missing puzzle piece
when he first met avantika then times
changed this story moves around avantika
and sid taking some hard turns in their life
avantika is sid love of life.
I found ma missing puzzle pic
Sid thinks this way when he meets avantika
gets to know her and starts falling for her
slowly and finally deeply this can ever beand he is still happy even if this didnt work
out for both in the way he planned his life
will do for him. Read the story for yourself
guys
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Chapter 1- The introduction
Things about her I had always been the mature
lover that too with moon even now after many
years I stuck on to my routine of admiring moon.
Looking at me someone would defiantly think I am a
lunatic but, the full moon day is always something
special for me!
Always remained me (or) brings back my teen-age
days which had more of Avanthika than me. Thissingle name Avanthika brings me thousand
memories of a wonderful girl into my mind I may
have not walked with hands joined together in the
warm sun shine and a few drops on rain but I
consider mine as the purest form of love!! I havenot seen her for the past 10 years of my life .Still, I
havent had a peaceful sleep without her face in my
dreams I still remember the day when I saw her .
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She was clad in a chudi with a perfect pony-tail and
with the kohl in her spark brown eyes! Which can
make any guys blush!!??? (I know guys dont blush)
And her lips were exceptionally beautiful quoting
Justin Biebers lines
Her lips ma biggest sweetness
I dont think it ever needs lip gloss in her life! Andher earring was the thing which I love the most
those, rings make her look more expressive I think
I fell in love with those full moon nights!! After
seeing her face I have pronounced her name over
thousand times. still I skip a beat when I hear hername I think its the most beautiful name which I
have ever heard!! And doubt is there a name in this
whole world than her's more over I dont want to
know that either. I think a dictionary go out of
words while describing her. As, she is way aheadbeautiful than describing. My only memory of her
was a pen which she used (which I would never loss
at many movement of my life) my routine begins
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from now. I would look at her photo and, would
think what she would do? Would she even
remember a looser called Sid!! (Yeah guys! Myname is siddhart) who is still madly in love with her
for 14 years! Usually. In the morning I would find
few emotional tears rolling over my cheeks at least
my tears are blessed enough as it drops out for a
person I love. Who has been so special to me! Evennow still she is! A person should make a persons
counterpart happy not the other way around! I
know I can never give her that happiness
sometimes its better to be away from the person
whom you cant see shedding tears. I dont want tosee her unhappy. not her cute eyes shedding tears
for me. Out of all weirdest things that in the past
fourteen years have never had guts to propose her
moreover I have never felt that urgency to do so... I
think it is something which needs to be felt in whichmy dreams
Every memory of her is beautiful
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Everything which remains me of her is more
beautiful
#2 the pages of love
Every time I see her I get the happiness every guy
would get after his first shave. My best buddy at
school was Johnny boy- I dont intend togive cheesy intro to him as we guys never glorify
our guy friends. Like every others I was addicted to
the facebook
I faced it most of the time just to see Avanthika on-
line whenever I see.. Green light in her profile I
feel the moments of my life .She looks more
ravishing every time than my previous memory of
her. She has a fair face, sparky brown eyes-which
burnt me burnt me alive, sharp nose and her lips
which never needs gloss I feel
like liking it whenever I see! yak, as a trained pet I
fell in love with that angel again again(as if I
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stopped loving her?! which is no
way possible!) in my part of the country it was
considered a sin if one doesn't attend tuition classesfor 10th board exams , following the
suit I did the same(that implies I can no longer be
regular to my cricket academy) though I was un-
happy about it. But ,my tuition classes offered
something great which it was on 3rd of June, thefirst time I had to look into the dictionary searching
for words to describe "Avanthika"-'beautiful' was
not the right word-it was an understatement, I
cursed my over vocabulary as well as the English
language for the lack of words to describe her . Shewas the topper in everything on the other to be
frank I was a zero in everything. She was the
captain of the basketball team looking at her
tapping the ball made me wish I were a ball. Every
time I see her I get the happiness that cricket cannever do! Yes, you have guessed it right
"Avanthika" and I were in the same tuition- I made
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it a point to travel 5 km to study(!!!) in the same
tuition....
#3 the explanation of love
Avanthika is 5.10 and she already looks like the
upcoming MISS WORLD even in her school
uniform(at least to my eyes!). I stand around 6.1
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accented tone. I grabbed the copies from her
hand(bit harsh) and said `Hmm' this was the end of
my first ever conversation(!!!!!) though, one sided
conversation. Only after a few minutes I realized
that I had neither thanked her nor asked how much
does it costs. I asked myself why had she chosen
me????( The answer is quite obvious that I am the
only guy from her class).
This is the first time I ever lovedmy name `Siddharth' she gave an extra stress while
pronouncing `d' and I loved this. I got back to my
senses and ran and told her . I called her `Avanthika'
(This is the first time I had ever called her real
though I do that over 1000 times a day in my
mind). She turned and said Rs:100 siddhath Iguess you where bit-pre occupied and flashed a
cozy smile.. NO BODY CAN SMILE AS CUTE AS
HER(At least to my eyes) I said my trade mark
`Hmm' she said k,bye its getting late... I stood
in the same place for over 10 minutes in peace, and
I finally realized that I had stricken a REAL
Conversation that too with the girl to whom I lost
myself even before knowing her name. I was
extremely happy and slept with a smile on my face.
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As usual she knocked my doors in dream..... EVEN
MY SUB Conscious MIND iS HER SLAVE AND Im
PROUD OF MY MASTER.
#4 Worst holidays
These lines came out during vacation.... The
loneliness in me converted me to do something
which I didn't even knew that I can. I ventured it
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by
writing what came into my mind. I was just trying
to express my love to her of course I never had theguts to say this to her. This is my first ever poem..
"My day makes me an idler by dragging
My night is neither happy nor sad!
I wish night to be 17hrs and day to be 7 hrs tokill my day and lead a life with her in my dream"
Is it good?
It may appeal as a prank to others. But, its not to
me as it is my first verses being dedicated
to Avanthika. I know my vocabulary is short of
words to describe her. If, any other person who have
crush on Avanthika can do a lot better
job than me but, my love towards her is the most
purest one. To match this even I started admiring
myself. Off course, their is nothing much toadmire at me but , I tried hard in doing that.
According to me every guy should experience it
when he gets his moustache traces.
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#5 ides of love(Guys never try mine)
Even, I started loving nature after falling into the
beautiful tart called as Love which made me think
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like a poet. A day consist of 24 hrs that is it consists
of 86,400 seconds(my calculation said so!?!) I was
missing Avanthika like hell! As if she even has a lineof thought about my utter existence but, my total
life revolved around her. At this moment I very
much wanted to be her puppy( Each and every girl
wants her guy to be one. But, I am not even her
friend) But, my 6.1 frame puppy for her 5.10 frameis not a bad idea at all( at least to me). And suddenly
I realized that my mobile phone beeped and it said
Syed, he is a close friend of mine we address him as
rush, he is mostly like me in attitude level the only
difference is that he is a super-awesome student andI am a super-bad student! And he said "mate you
busy? Can we go somewhere?" I answer in a super
enthusiastic tone that am dyeing for it. We went to a
boring Hindi movie its not that it was boring I
didnt even understand a word from it.
#6 A caf timeA spot at the caf the waitress was well-dressed
than me, Syed rushed and took out his new galaxy
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note(he is bit showy) But, thats not a problem at
all he is my best buddy to my astonishment he
asked the same question to me that Mateee am Ishowy.. Innature???" I asked "Who said so?" he
said, nothing just a friend of mine said I said 'FUCK
IT' he just nodded I can very much understand the
meaning of that nod, I just smiled for response. To
my astonishment he asked "Mateee you loveAvanthika rite?"(Is it that obvious?) I said, Hell no,
although I very much wanted to say that YES, I AM
MADLY IN LOVE WITH HER. But the fact is that I
dont want to see her un-happy after she gets to
know that a loafer or a looser like me is in love withher. I think this feeling is obvious, to words the
person whom you love the most, I repeat THE
MOST but, what about her? Like is way too-high
for a person like me that too with "AVANTHIKA"
but, I never had the guts to ask this to that cute,sweet, authoritative ,powerful angel. I could text
her for hours together but, something in real where
I lagged thats during the face to face contact to be
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frank during eye contact I wasnt able to look at
that SPARKY BROWN EYES-which, missed nothing I
repeat even though its authoritative (her eyes) she,is the most cutest girl whom I had ever met. Now I
love every cell of her's. Suddenly, I heard someone
calling SIDDHARTH(not with that extra stress which
comes from that honey patched voice). it was rush
whom called me, then I realized that I was withhim in a caf I was staring at the same place for
more than 15-minutes which was informed to me
later by rush who spoke with a bit of sarcasm in his
voice "This is what happens when you are in love"
All I could do was a shy-smile with a secretblush(Again I know guys cant blush!!) Now, I very
much wanted to call Avanthika but, this stupid-rush
is here. so, I just rehearsed in my mind that what
will I be able to talk to THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL
IN THE WORLD(Guys ,never use the word beautifulto a girl unless they are madly in love with her) At
least, I dont use that word. I bet she would turn
red (not blushing out of anger) but, I very much
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wanted see her face turning into pink color, I
visualized her with a pink colored face I can see her
for days together even, without pink color. I nevercared for spontaneity that too with AVANTHIKA
finally, I got the extra bit of nerve to call her she
took the call with her enthusiastic voice not,
because its mine) its her usual tone. I was addicted
to that honey patched sweet voice, even honey istoo-low (she has the at most plus points which
human beings could have!) and, I am not bluffing
its the fact , I thought she was made out of sugar
from head to toe, she again said halloo sid? Wats
up man? I thought next time it should be MYMAN! but, my usual syndrome I am way too
coward to ask her that so, I just said I met rush
they are very good friends, but, that wasnt the
thing which I prepared but, as long as the
conversation grows long I never mind! After all Iam dying to here her voice (honey-pitched one) I
know that she is cute, sweet and whatever romantic
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word in this world is just meant for her more over
she defines these words
#7 facing the death
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I could meet hundred death just to see her simile,
to my astonishment she has just changed her profile
picture. I fell in love with her all over againwhenever I see her(even if I just see, her picture). I
know that she is a very good artist I turn speechless
whenever I see her picture or any of her artistic
works. These days I had become a reliable friends
of hers because she started pulling my leg in fb witha post or a picture. I never get angry with her (how
can I !!) she is the best thing that has ever
happened to meant all in response I could just
send her a smiley. Suddenly I felt so-nostalgic that
it has been more than 2 hours since I texted her. Itook my mobile stared at it even my mobile wall
paper is cute-Avanthika which no-one knows.. as
my mind was racing and I very much wanted to kill
my time and I was glued to the favorite channel of
mine, What else star cricket it showed one o theoldest matches I guess it must be mid 80s suddenly
I lost interest in it, This is the first time in my life I
have ever uttered a word that "Cricket Sucks" its
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because of the change in priorities were cricket lose
its deposit against Avanthika. I think have a huge
admiration to-word Avanthika but, I have a betterword that is crush. I could no longer conttttrol my
mind so, I logged into my face book account again
and I just searched the name Avanthika, and it
showed me the most beautiful girl in the world but,
I started cursing the language as it s deficit of wordsto describe her. Probably some one can do a better
job than me, but cant love her as much as I do.
But, I can imagine just up to my level rite? And I
knew the very fact that " She is way out of my
league" But my heart has always had and has aproblem in accepting this truth , a bitter truth in my
way. In Avanthika's account there are over 250
photos of her I have already given like to all of
them "As Im madly in love with that person in
those pictures they never made any difference fromher reality. I gave unlike to all those photos and
started giving like again(just to while away time)
and I very well know, that she must be annoyed by
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know because of my notifications I was worried
about that too. and in, my mind I have already
thanked Mark Zuckerberg over zillion times forgiving the option of like button along with the
comment one as its a substitute for comment and
as I had always been a dumb mainly, with
Avathika's case and I noticed my watch and it has
been more than three hours! And I have justadmired and drooled over her pictures. And I just
noticed my mobile wall paper I dozed off (Probabily
,this is what people call breath taking beautiful)
#8 The dream
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As ,soon as I crashed my bed my eyes were shut but
my mind didn't. its pretty easy to guess that it went
in search of Avanthika(as it has always) and, how
can I live for two-months by not even looking at her
for real(because she said to me that she is leaving to
France soon)that very thought brought a lump in my
throat even, in my dream! But she was going for
real. How can I live two months? "Even seconds
will take years without Avanthika" but, it would be
too-mean to disturb her during her vacation, as thesedays are meant for her enjoyment, but I noticed that
I waged a war with my brain...
Sid: bastard, how can you live for two months
without even texting her?
Heart: I don't have an answer for your question ritenow but, I will proove you soon that I can.
SID: You can't your such an DUMB ASS
HEART: Yeah but, you very well know that this day
dumb ass is an day dreamer too. Who can lead a lifewith her in dream(at least two-months)of course in
dream NOT REAL
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SID: prove that.
HEART: You, have a bigger part in that as you
killed your originality for her.
SID: yeah, I do agree that but who doesn't get
fascinated towards her?/ and you will take over me
for few days?
HEART: huh?
SID: Nobody, who is normal will do such things...
HEART: Fuck it, it gives me pleasure!
SID: way to go stupid( you, will never achieve it it'sa far fetch dream, even her dog will take a lead in
your role ) and, I have already mentioned that I
never had the guts to propose to her it's because of
the FEAR OF Losing HER AS A FRIEND but, if
she says yes, I will be the happiest person on this
earth. But, I love each and every moment of thiscruch period of mine. And these thoughts were
disturbing me(even, in dream) but these memories
are to be cherished rite? So, I finalized that I will
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live for two months till she return from France. But,
what about her even, a faint memory of mine will hit
her?( am not sure of it) but, I will miss her like hell!
And every moment will be stretching one. And, I
waked up from my sound sleep! And heard that
honey dipped voice in my phone!( without, her
knowledge) and this is the day she said that she will
be boarding her flight to Delhi and then to France,
she gave me a call what a surprise! and said that she
is about to leave< I said with a maximum fakeenthusiasm in my voice that HAPPY JOURNEY
but, I don't want her to go and I turned to an
another person " who am I to stop her? Avanthika is
a bird, that too a CUTE BIRD worlds most cutest
bird, and I realized that she was on call and she said
that " Sid< in dream land huh?" and I said umm....yeah, nah... not exactly and she laughed out aloud
and said that this is her happiest day that a friend of
her's has dedicated a song for her and said that
mannn, Im on cloud 9and said that her friend get's
her face when ever he/she is hearing that song.. I
very much wanted to reply that I get your facewhenever I hear any song as usual I never had the
guts to say this to her and she left " I wish, I could
have the guts to propose to her soon."
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#9 Weeks by Weeks.
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1-week
apart, from rush and Mathews I never trust any of
my guy friends theyalways mock at me that I never had guts. Well,
actually what is guts?
G-give
U-us
T-theS-strength
I have got the copy rights from the VIP rush who
coined this abbreviation and I could very well relate
it with me that "God please give me the strength to
propose to Avanthika" on sitting on the couch I
looked myself at the mirror to god on earth I wasnt
that ugly at the same time I wasnt handsome or
good looking either its for sure I always have this
question in my mind that" guys always look for
those girls who are more than their level ! " And forinstance: look at me with the kind of bully figure I
have of course its bully when compared to
Avanthika's shaped features and she is a goddesses
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for sure! With her cute smile which can even take
other's life, attractive sparky brown eyes, sharp nose
which hooks me! and I dont even fit in to the roleof her driver(fact!) with the above mentioned
esteemed qualitys I must be looking for..
I should have been looking for someone who is of
my types to be precise a looser or loafer like me
but, my heart has a huge set back in accepting thisbut, to be frank she is greater than me in all aspects
in brilliance I am no match to her, In looks even a
bridge cannot fill the gap between us, its a great
fortune that she at least talks to me usually, girls of
her types or even lesser than her will not even mindmy presence. And with a physique I have so-called
well-built one which can also relate to my heftiness
thank god height is the only plus-point have! even
there
Avanthika is a huge competitor of mine ,I haventseen a girl who is taller than her I mean Indian girls
her absence killed me like being
in hell, and I gave like for every post of her rather
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than the post I
like the person who posted that even like is under-
rated as I am "madlyin love with her without her knowledge" I wish I
could see her now and
" I could have the guts to propose to her!"
#10 Now what?? Some more weeks
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week-2
it has been a ritual for me to stare at her profile for
an hour or so and, on seeing me someone wouldhave thought that I was meditating yeah, even this
is a form of meditation as I had no-other thoughts
in
my mind and I already said that "I love each and
every cell of her's " and now it has changed thatshe is in each and every cell of mine" so, there is
no amusement that I am in love with her/with her
profile picture. I thought of that cute, sparky brown
eyes! I know I am using the word cute quite a lot
for a guy but, its her impact on me and there is no-issue
that she is cute! you have to hearer her say that
word thats how I fell in love with that word, I can
very much see a noticeable Avanthika in me, no I
created Avanthika in me. I have even startedlistening to Selene Gomez whom she said she likes.
as for as I have heard about me from girls they say
"Im a cricket freak" I get damn furious with them
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when they say this but, Avanthika said the same too
but, this time I didnt get irritated not a small
hesitation in my mind I gave a broad smile to her(probably ,the person who says that and the
dedication is all that matters, I guess) but, this is
something great than mare dedication
but, my vocabulary is not that good so, I had to
stick with this( I have no other option) " I wish I
could see her this moment and have the guts to
propose to her" this, is how the whole week went.
After Avanthika came in to my life I had totally
changed now people
call me as "soft spoken" at this point of time I very
much disagree with Shakespeares statement that
"she stoops to conquer" but ,Avanthika never
stoops she just stares to conquered. Who can ever
say no to her. to others she is authoritative but ,to
me I can never say no to that cute brown
eyes(here again the impact plays a huge role)
" you will never be mine
but, still my heart longs for it
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when you are everything to me
I am just a somebody to you
still, my heart longs for itand, it will as long as I live"
After wrote these lines I had few tears which rolled
over my cheeks as I had always described her as a
princess I dont even stand a chance " she is way
out of my league" I never had luck in my life even,
in
cricket I had talent but, I wasnt able to express it,
the same I wasnt able to express my love to-words
Avanthika with all those cheesy lines and
everything. This is how my third week passed " I
wish I could have the guts to say my love towards
her.
4th-week
These days in my facebook account I havent sent a
message nor replied to anyones message infect I
didnt even read them, I started behaving awkward.
if my folks had taken me to a psychiatrist he would
have given me anti-depression drugs, they thought I
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was depressed because of my failure in cricket life
but, that was the thing I was least bothered
about, I didnt want to type another name apart fromAvanthika's name I silently admired her folks
creativity in naming her. In my place they never
anything about me but, my sister a knows that
there is something but, never bombard me with
questions. all over again I fell in love with
the worlds most cutest person(the impact) this is
the date exactly a year before Avanthika scolded
me for being too-lethargic but, that was the most
happiest moment of my life for two-reasons
1- she was considerate about me, it means she didconsider me as a person!
2- That tongue and lips were functioning for my
sake!
Yeah , to scold me. I wasnt able to help myselftake
my ugly eyes from her lips(without lip-coat or gloss)these are
the perfect incidents for a day-dreamer like me to
cherish am not sure if she remembers these things or
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not but, I have everything in my mind and the
second inch is all about a painting which she has
done. It was about a flower a rare one, I was starringat it for about an hour I guess. She snatched it and
out of reflex I pulled them and it has turned a bit
and she didnt react much for it. It was I who
confessed to her like a criminal and she coated with
sweet words which I should have done. These days
she is everything to me without her I am nothing(her
thoughts) my day will never get completed this is
how my week-passed . I wish I could have the guts
to propose to her!
5-weekit has been a month since I saw her in REAL but, in
dream I have no
one apart from her ,it must have been around a
week since I had opened
my mouth to talk to someone else. Like a patient Ihad loss of appetite
if this continuous then I will be admitted into an
mental asylum for
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sure. I felt that there were none in my mind apart
from me and
Avanthika these are the symptoms of mentalsickness so ,I planned to call Johnny and rush to my
place as I had already said that they are my
close-friends though Avanthika holds the first place
and then I realized that I have lost some weight and
my hair has not seen a barber for months, With achange in my clothes I would exactly resemble a
person from Paleolithic age some went to a barber
and pastured him to give change in looks(but, its of
no use as always) but ,still I had to admit that
with the new goatee I looked better than that
Average guy whom you can see anywhere "but
,these futile attempts are just to cope-up or at least
stand a chance with Avanthika.As I went back
home john was eating something as usual rush was
late.
I can still remember that smile of Johnny ( His 32
was visible) at least, His teeth have wisdom in them
unlike his mind, rush came and said sorry was bit
busy with a friend of mine the answer was quite
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obvious, that it was a girl for this reason I used to
envy him but, hats of no use. As I already have a
hugeeee crush on Avanthika.Its awkward to hide this from these guys but, they
figured it and never embraced me with that sort of
questions.We decided to go to the terrace in my
place and they decide what next to do. We thought
of watching a movie but ,later it changed to just a
drive. I was driving my Scorpio(Next to Avanthika
I have an huge crush on it) I never let anyone to
drive that car suddenly just accelerated it was just a
show-off and Johnny whispered that Avanthika
is not here so, you can reduce the speed( her, name
always brings a hint of smile in my face) there, again
these two guys have never matured
from the 9-th grade and both these guys are like two-
different poles so ,I have to pay my dues for
it. The only thing which, united them is food and I
joined them too ,I had fun with these guys after two-years as Avanthika has swallowed the
mean time but, its none of her mistake rite? and this
mistake of mine
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gives a lot of pressure to me with these wonderful
thoughts I returned
back to my place suddenly felt everything around meis beautiful " I
wish I could see her now if I had the guts to
propose to her" with
this feeling I crashed my bed to talk with her in my
mind.
6-th week
it has been 5 week's since I had heard Avanthikas
voice the honey patched voice she can even be a
singer I guessed, these days I have started eating as
usual but still I missed Avanthika like hell!
Obviously, without her knowledge even without
mine and thats what love
is right? And rather than missing I felt that I am so-
much dependent on her! it was one of those lazy
week days(nomad was lazy) I logged in tomy fb account to my astonishment she has changed
her profile picture it means she was on fb I missed
and her color has increased! She looked even more
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fare! And pretty, cute too. Whatever she does is cute
to me and, she has even bothered to send a message
to her "how is u?!" I know this is just an usualmessage to her but, it means a lot! and this remains
me one of those days were I was dying to get her
NUMBER and would remain on-line all day to just
see a green light spark over her picture (of-course!
not as sparky as her eyes are!) but, even now I never
know how I got the extra bit ofnerve to ask her
number?! Though, for a project I asked her and
when she gave me I Was ON TOP OF THE MOON!
there again after a huge hesitation weather to call
her or not, I called her and she answered
with a cool voice though a sweet one and we spoke
for about 15 minutes with the heart in my hand and
these cute incidents just bring a hint of smile in my
face! and also remains me that I had been a coward
even now I am one such but, I have improvised
myself from fear of speaking to fear of proposing
so, ill overcome this some-day that night I was able
to see a beautiful scene were the moon(it was a full
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moon day) my room is actually in such a
way that the moon would cover the whole bed, it
appears to me as if it was peeping into my windowjust to spoil my dream(as Avanthika is
even more beautiful than the moon!) probably it
might be jealousy of her I think. I have to admit
that I was just getting little poetic "oh! Moon I
know someone who is cuter than you
so, its time for you to leave my place
to pave way for the cute one to enter into my
dream" I posted this on my class group rush's
group. I was not able to post
this on my wall because, of the relatives in my a/c
even my mom is in my account this is the
disadvantage of adding them on your account! I
was even happier that Avanthika gave a like to it! it
even made me more special that someone France is
considerate about me all over again I fell in love
with her( I never knew why people often, use the
word "fall" to be submissive I think) in the following
days watched few more movies, this days I am doing
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that tri-lingual in Tamil, Hindi and English. with
people like John and rush they make you
see a movie in afternoon and another one in theevening they coined a word for that too action 500
" I acted as their driver but this driver has the
designation even to brake their bones, each and
every song remains me of her face! These days I
dont even bother to look at the most attractive ones
by, no means they are up to her level " I wish me
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#11 The words out
Guys... dont think this story is going to end. Its a
never ending story where I am gonna love Avantika
through out my life.. these are move lies about her...
my eyes went in search of her! and i saw her
she is even more beautiful than my previous
memory perhaps my usual term BREATH
TAKING BEAUTY did suit her she just waved
HI to me (as gracefully as ever) usualy
syndrome i fell deficit of words to describing hershe smiled that was not just a smile it had
something else too! suddenly i felt a rosepetal
in my arm were avanthika just wispered
something in my ear i was just half listening to
her i was morew of admiring her! and ienqquired again she just blushed! (wow! even
michael angelo cannot ortray her as it is!! im not
saying this because of my love towords her its a
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fact!)..... The next few moments of my life was
entirely different she,started saying that.. Sid i
met a guy(so,that must be the reason forhappyness?) i prayed hard it should not be, i'm
sure,i was getting jelousy that is because i care
for her the most in my life! but,still when she
said those words that she was in love my whole
wordld came to an sudden halt,i felt as if my
right part of my heart has detatched my left one.
but,she was very much expressive and happy
while expressing her love (well not about
me!)but, why can't she see that in my eyes?
that was the third year of my love life(of-cource
one sided) still,she meant the whole world tome! avanthika suddenly called me "sid... you
can't do this to me" did i speak that aloud?
no,certainly not. she said to me that back to
dream land? no,avanthika i was just visualising
you! but that was just half true! should i behappy for her love? (or) sad for myself it was
just a mixed feeling for me but, i'm sure that she
was happy that was the thing which i cared
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#12 eighth week
week-8I was getting bit weak during this week
as ,it has been 7 weeks since i had seenAvanthika, Here again the battle begins withinme impractical; Yeah ,I do admit that but, i love
what I am doing........
Practical ;may be your going to do this for lifelong as Avathika will never accept you....
With this, the practical stuff in me went but,
what it said is damn true as, i had nothing elseto do i went on-line again to my surprise
Avanthika was there! Soon ,All my sorenesswent away on seeing her face it was her newdp again, she looked even more ravishing thanmy previous memory , she always manages to
do this to me! it was that she was standing infront of Eifel tower she looked even more fare inher full black costume only her face wasvisible(it is enough to make any guy blush) i feltas if the tower was smiling because she was
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there !at this point of time I envy that tower as, itcan see her for real which, I am unable to do!and, i said to myself that hey !tower you are
marvelous just because of Avanthika'spresence there "I wish I could have been amaterial over there to see her now" shedescribed France to me soon, I switched on myhead phone to hear the voice which makes meblush every time and makes me fall for her
every time this is the time when I understoodthat I am addicted to her so-much so, I fell inlove with her all over again she also said thatshe will be back home soon! i felt as if I hadtaken a new birth all over again and i also saidto myself that Avanthika you are the most
sweetest person whom i had ever met in mylife, according to me "one part of me is dieng foranother" to meet her soon, and we continuedour chat some more time too .soon, i dozed offand in dream. i dont know what place it is but itis as beautiful as avanthika is " i was in the
middle of the stream rowing a boat whereavanthika was seated just opposite to me now,no body in the world existed at-least to me shewas in her best cloath and metoo, with the
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smell of the axe choclate(remember,even theangels will fall in for) sure, avanthika is onesuch angel even in my dream i was perfect in
this sense i was about to propose to her nowand i said "avathika you are simply breathtaking beautiful she was about to saysomething but, my mom waked me up and saidgo and sleep in bed sid. that was the momentwhere i felt the at-most angerness in me but,
didnt express it anyway i know, i will never getthis dream again in my life atleast, i hope thatdoesnt just become a dream! all throughout mylife " i wish i would have the guts to propose toher" as, avanthika said she will be here soon iwas counting every second of it and my so-
called dread full 8 week's got over!tical: you,have tried hard man!!!
impractical:thanx,but still a week's time is thernaa?
practical; yeah, but a person of your type cando that as you dont have anywork apart fromthat
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#12 The ending
i never knew that this would be the day which
would make me to spend sleep less nights for
the rest of my life.. it was just a normal day
for every others but to me? i wish i had never
loved her! i wish I should not have felt this much
for her when i knew i don't even stand
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a chance to make others believe that i love her..
i might not have an attractive face,i might not be
as brilliant as her still,i knew that I have anheart which loves her more than anyone could..
it was the day my lips quivered into a smile for
the last time i think.. i still,remember that it was
a bright morning as usual but to me it was the
darkest ever.. i went bit early that day with
fingers crossed! i thought i did have the guts to
propose to her ,now it has been the incident
which none remembers apart
from me.. i wish i had at-least said to her that i
love her" but ,my mis-fortune i never did. i just
go to a dream land when i see those sharp-brown eyes which would just reduce my
confidence level and it reduced my 6 feet frame
tojust a toddler.. i still remember she was simply
that "breath taking beautiful" the same happend
that day too but,avanthika looked different thatday in-fact "she has never been this beautiful in
her life" i went bit-early that day to-my
astonishment avanthika was seated in my
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class-room she was smiling well,not at me her
lips quivered into a cute smile i wish my life had
ended that moment as she was happy-it mademe myself more happy actually,that was the
first time i had seen avanthika in make up did
look attractive.. i know there was someone
behind her smile.,that was the last hope of my
life wheather it was me? but,am i asking for
too-much in life? i know that i'm still, i'm a
normal human being
right? When I called her once, twice, thrice she
didnt turn when I
raised my voice she turned and smiled "Sid the
life is just awesomeisnt?" I went short of words as-usual in replying
her! I stammered
a bit and said yes! Avanthika- wahao! The feel I
get while pronouncing
her name it worths a million times birth to me...when i returned to this normal world i asked
avanthika? She said w-h-a-t Sid? Sorry I was
just half listening
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man (my syndrome) imp now sure that she is in
love! But who? ...I did
enquire about it to her. She stammered a bitand said a guy Sid... he
is just darn-freekishly handsome! While
expressing her brown eyes
lifted-up she wasnt a human being for sure! But
my entire world crashed
and came to an end! I was just leading the most
dread-full moment of my
life my worst fear came true that day now
should I be happy that the person whom I love
the most is in love
with another? Or should I be sad for the samereason? It was a sticky
situation for me and silently I wished I could
have been that guy!
Does this mean I can no-longer see her? My
breath has to come to anend? Or I should live as nothing happened? My
whole life will lose its
charm if the above cases come true! Still I felt
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happy that she is
happy and she has met a right guy whom I
could never substitute with mymare love! With eyes filled with tears I saw the
moon and said to my-self bye
Avanthika i'vl meet you during the next full
moon day... as my rest of
the days passes just for this single night which
would bring her
memories back into me.. Now I knew I wasnt
16 anymore I was 27...
Still, with fingers crossed I live she will
understand me someday if
she still remembers a loosed called Sid!
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#13 epilogue
Now this is my time to write about my friend sundar
an amazing guy with hidden talents. I fist meet him
in our debate discussion and then added him in
facebook started chatting a lot and got to know him
very well I never had any plans for my life ever
and I heard him tell that he is had written a book
about the girl he loved (the love of this life) as I
didnt have any work( like always) I asked him to
mail me I got in bits it wasnt in a flow I thought of
putting it together for all u people this is such an
awesome book with awesome script sundar the first
thing that comes in to my mind is his funny walk .
Avantika isnt lucky to have my brother and I hope
that my brother will find his half soul soon .. this is
to all the love failure guys and girls JUST DONT
STOP YOURSELF FROM LOVE open your heart
towards it all are different you will get something u
didnt get from the last person the next one will
give you more and more.. I believe in fate and
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magical stuffs never hurt anyone in love you will get
a good punch right into your face soon never
cheat a true love u will feel for a long time its a bet the love you give someone is unconditional just
while closing this book remember that never hurt a
true heart try to understand and take a good care of
it love goes for ever and ever its a true thing trust
the heart that you love trust it madly fall in lovewho may time it takes. And also dont talk back of
anyone its the most stupid thing all girls do... never
gossip peeps its a horrible thing to do. Sundar, I
am really happy that I met a guy like you to share
the world this wonderful story about all the thingsthat happened in your life.
#14 Avantikas view
Before I start with my version of the story, I'mdoing this as a favor for a common friend ofmine and Sidharth's- Niha.
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It was in grade 10 that i knew Sidharth. He wasa new-comer back then. A good friend of his,once told me in a social networking chat, that
Sidharth was like totally addicted to me! like i'dbelieve that! He barely knew me and only atthat time, he even started talkin to me.Later another friend told me after a few weeks. Iwas gettin pissed off with the society. I mean, ifa guy whos new to a place, talks to a girl,
wanting to be friends, why on earth wouldpeople think that he's in love with her? Hisclassmates were really cranky, i tell you!So, Sidharth asked me if his friend had told meanythin like that. I was kinda reluctant to agree,cuz what if he has a row with that friend of
his?!!He asked me again, so i kinda agreed. To mysurprise he asked "so whats gonna be youranswer for tat?". I replied that whateveranybody said to me, its goina be a definite 'NO'.So that was the start of my part of the story.
Over the years, Sidharth has turned out to be agreat friend. We have a common friend, who'sone of my besties, keeps telling me thatSidharth is completely in love with me. Like I'd
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believe that! I ignored his vibe and let life takeits decisions.Sidharth was this guy who kept talking about
cricket. I know that he likes it a lot butexpressing your addiction to something tosomeone, becomes quite awkward when theykeep talking about it 24x7. So at one point oftime i called him a "cricket freak".We share a common interest in books.
Whenever he reads a books or when he'sreading one, he tells me about it and I tell it outtoo.He has always been the first person to give a"like" whenever i update/upload something on asocial networking site. Not that it irritates me or
anything, but it was quite peculiar for me backthen.One day, out of the blue, he said that he's goingto write a book. I ws flabbergasted. I mean, I'veheard people say that they're going to writepoem or books but I've never seen them
continue with it for more than a few pages. Butthis guy was DAMN serious!He'd send his book, chapter-wise whenever hefinishes one.
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THEN i realised that the character in itdescribed ME. I was completely shocked.
The way he described the girl, nobody wouldthink that its me. But deep down, i felt guilty forhaving talked to him for so long.Every word of mine would've hurt him.Sidharth's book resembled Durjoy Dutta's book.Describing one single girl and about what his
friends thought about it.My friends meanwhile, smelled that somethingwas going on and asked me.One day, Pooja asked me if he really likes me. Ishrugged and walked away.She's one awesome girl. She understands what
happens to the people around her with just alook on their faces. I;m a girl with LOADS offriends. MY best friends are damn precious.They're literally FAMILY to me.Back in 10th grade, Sidharth came to the sametuition as i did. He has even mentioned that in
his book! Like anyone would do THAT!Rush told me that the title of Sidharth's bookwas goin to be GUTS to propose- Give Us TheStrength to propose.
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When Rush said that, the first thought thatstruck my mind was, " Like Sidharth has no gutsto put it all in a book!"
He asked me once for my most favorite country.I replied without hesitation that it was India.He asked fr my second most favourite country,for which my reply was "France".I'm extremely patriotic. Anyone who evenDARES talk ill about MY country, will definitely
get a blue eye. Im not a violent person oranything, but i debate a lot, so the way i arguewill make them shut their mouth about India.So, coming back to the scenario, after like 2weeks, he had mentioned that i was on aholiday trip to France for TWO MONTHS, and
he had written 8 whole chapters on that.Pooja and Anu, who happened to be playingwith my phone at that time, saw the mail.Pooje read all the chapters and her mouth wasa literal "O" when she finished.
Anu is a girl who's still just a kid, but is waay too
mature for a kid. Cutest girl ever!Sidharth knows each and every detail aboutme.. with complete precision. i sometimeswonder how he knows so much about me. But i
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always have this guilty feeling whenever i readthe chapters of his book. Thats cuz i alwaysconsider him as an awesome friend, and he
doesnt feel the same way. It gets awkwardwhen you're among friends for some kindapractice for a programme in the assembly andyour friends start pairing you up. I get confusedwhether to get pissed off or keep shut. Hari isthe only guy, who, till now, hasnt made fun of
me with Sidharth. He's like my own sweet littlebrother. He even dedicated a song to me,saying that he gets reminded of me when helistens to it. Quite sentimental he is when itcomes to the siblingly relation!Sidharth is seriously very understanding and
supportive. But the reason that i feel guilty iscuz i cant, and wont ever reciprocate what hefeels. For which i feel really very sorry.Only this year, i got to know Niha, who's a yearyounger to me. She's quite cool, actually. I dontknow much about her, except the fact that she's
Sidharth's bestfriend.She told me that his book is never-ending. Butyeah its all imaginary and fictional. All of myfriends, Anu, Pooja, Rush, Akshay, and even
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Ajay who's a super-cool guy and extremelysupportive and sweet, know about this, but stillmaintain a bravado that they dont.
Sidharth, meanwhile, will always remain to bean extremely good friend of mine till the veryend. He's not like those guys who, if they "like"a girl, keep following her, or keepemailing/messaging or the equivalent toIRRITATING the girl. He's just the opposite.
And to add up, ill always feel awkward andguilty when he's around. No offence intendedthere.So, i guess this was nothing like an epilogue,but a summary of a 3 years' worth journal,wasnt it?
So thats' the end of my version! :)