Did i Say i Love You... Final Copy2

7/28/2019 Did i Say i Love You... Final Copy2

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This book is for all the boys and

girl who got aquiver of smile

matters more than your love . This is my story (A

true story) for a girl . I started to write this

because I didnt know a better way to propose

her. My friends made it into a book and now its in

your hand published and all done. Credits to all

my publishers and my editors Savitha and

Niharika..


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This page is dedicated to

The women who made me write

*An awesome women indeed.


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#1 The Introduction

#2 The pages of love

#3 Explanation of love

#4 The worst holidays

#5 Ideas of love (Guys never try mine!!)

#6 A caf time

#7 Facing the death

#8 The dream

#9 Weeks by weeks

#10 Now what??Some more weeks

#11 Eighth week

#12 The endingStory ends!

Till this it's from Sundars point of view

From here my twist starts these chapters are from

Niharika and Avanthikas point of view seeing

Sundar as a friend and a guy who loved deeply...


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#13My view(Niharika)

#14 Avantikas view


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Sid thinks he finds the missing puzzle piece

when he first met avantika then times

changed this story moves around avantika

and sid taking some hard turns in their life

avantika is sid love of life.

I found ma missing puzzle pic

Sid thinks this way when he meets avantika

gets to know her and starts falling for her

slowly and finally deeply this can ever beand he is still happy even if this didnt work

out for both in the way he planned his life

will do for him. Read the story for yourself

guys


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Chapter 1- The introduction

Things about her I had always been the mature

lover that too with moon even now after many

years I stuck on to my routine of admiring moon.

Looking at me someone would defiantly think I am a

lunatic but, the full moon day is always something

special for me!

Always remained me (or) brings back my teen-age

days which had more of Avanthika than me. Thissingle name Avanthika brings me thousand

memories of a wonderful girl into my mind I may

have not walked with hands joined together in the

warm sun shine and a few drops on rain but I

consider mine as the purest form of love!! I havenot seen her for the past 10 years of my life .Still, I

havent had a peaceful sleep without her face in my

dreams I still remember the day when I saw her .


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She was clad in a chudi with a perfect pony-tail and

with the kohl in her spark brown eyes! Which can

make any guys blush!!??? (I know guys dont blush)

And her lips were exceptionally beautiful quoting

Justin Biebers lines

Her lips ma biggest sweetness

I dont think it ever needs lip gloss in her life! Andher earring was the thing which I love the most

those, rings make her look more expressive I think

I fell in love with those full moon nights!! After

seeing her face I have pronounced her name over

thousand times. still I skip a beat when I hear hername I think its the most beautiful name which I

have ever heard!! And doubt is there a name in this

whole world than her's more over I dont want to

know that either. I think a dictionary go out of

words while describing her. As, she is way aheadbeautiful than describing. My only memory of her

was a pen which she used (which I would never loss

at many movement of my life) my routine begins


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from now. I would look at her photo and, would

think what she would do? Would she even

remember a looser called Sid!! (Yeah guys! Myname is siddhart) who is still madly in love with her

for 14 years! Usually. In the morning I would find

few emotional tears rolling over my cheeks at least

my tears are blessed enough as it drops out for a

person I love. Who has been so special to me! Evennow still she is! A person should make a persons

counterpart happy not the other way around! I

know I can never give her that happiness

sometimes its better to be away from the person

whom you cant see shedding tears. I dont want tosee her unhappy. not her cute eyes shedding tears

for me. Out of all weirdest things that in the past

fourteen years have never had guts to propose her

moreover I have never felt that urgency to do so... I

think it is something which needs to be felt in whichmy dreams

Every memory of her is beautiful


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Everything which remains me of her is more

beautiful

#2 the pages of love

Every time I see her I get the happiness every guy

would get after his first shave. My best buddy at

school was Johnny boy- I dont intend togive cheesy intro to him as we guys never glorify

our guy friends. Like every others I was addicted to

the facebook

I faced it most of the time just to see Avanthika on-

line whenever I see.. Green light in her profile I

feel the moments of my life .She looks more

ravishing every time than my previous memory of

her. She has a fair face, sparky brown eyes-which

burnt me burnt me alive, sharp nose and her lips

which never needs gloss I feel

like liking it whenever I see! yak, as a trained pet I

fell in love with that angel again again(as if I


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stopped loving her?! which is no

way possible!) in my part of the country it was

considered a sin if one doesn't attend tuition classesfor 10th board exams , following the

suit I did the same(that implies I can no longer be

regular to my cricket academy) though I was un-

happy about it. But ,my tuition classes offered

something great which it was on 3rd of June, thefirst time I had to look into the dictionary searching

for words to describe "Avanthika"-'beautiful' was

not the right word-it was an understatement, I

cursed my over vocabulary as well as the English

language for the lack of words to describe her . Shewas the topper in everything on the other to be

frank I was a zero in everything. She was the

captain of the basketball team looking at her

tapping the ball made me wish I were a ball. Every

time I see her I get the happiness that cricket cannever do! Yes, you have guessed it right

"Avanthika" and I were in the same tuition- I made


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it a point to travel 5 km to study(!!!) in the same

tuition....

#3 the explanation of love

Avanthika is 5.10 and she already looks like the

upcoming MISS WORLD even in her school

uniform(at least to my eyes!). I stand around 6.1


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accented tone. I grabbed the copies from her

hand(bit harsh) and said `Hmm' this was the end of

my first ever conversation(!!!!!) though, one sided

conversation. Only after a few minutes I realized

that I had neither thanked her nor asked how much

does it costs. I asked myself why had she chosen

me????( The answer is quite obvious that I am the

only guy from her class).

This is the first time I ever lovedmy name `Siddharth' she gave an extra stress while

pronouncing `d' and I loved this. I got back to my

senses and ran and told her . I called her `Avanthika'

(This is the first time I had ever called her real

though I do that over 1000 times a day in my

mind). She turned and said Rs:100 siddhath Iguess you where bit-pre occupied and flashed a

cozy smile.. NO BODY CAN SMILE AS CUTE AS

HER(At least to my eyes) I said my trade mark

`Hmm' she said k,bye its getting late... I stood

in the same place for over 10 minutes in peace, and

I finally realized that I had stricken a REAL

Conversation that too with the girl to whom I lost

myself even before knowing her name. I was

extremely happy and slept with a smile on my face.


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As usual she knocked my doors in dream..... EVEN

MY SUB Conscious MIND iS HER SLAVE AND Im

PROUD OF MY MASTER.

#4 Worst holidays

These lines came out during vacation.... The

loneliness in me converted me to do something

which I didn't even knew that I can. I ventured it


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by

writing what came into my mind. I was just trying

to express my love to her of course I never had theguts to say this to her. This is my first ever poem..

"My day makes me an idler by dragging

My night is neither happy nor sad!

I wish night to be 17hrs and day to be 7 hrs tokill my day and lead a life with her in my dream"

Is it good?

It may appeal as a prank to others. But, its not to

me as it is my first verses being dedicated

to Avanthika. I know my vocabulary is short of

words to describe her. If, any other person who have

crush on Avanthika can do a lot better

job than me but, my love towards her is the most

purest one. To match this even I started admiring

myself. Off course, their is nothing much toadmire at me but , I tried hard in doing that.

According to me every guy should experience it

when he gets his moustache traces.


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#5 ides of love(Guys never try mine)

Even, I started loving nature after falling into the

beautiful tart called as Love which made me think


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like a poet. A day consist of 24 hrs that is it consists

of 86,400 seconds(my calculation said so!?!) I was

missing Avanthika like hell! As if she even has a lineof thought about my utter existence but, my total

life revolved around her. At this moment I very

much wanted to be her puppy( Each and every girl

wants her guy to be one. But, I am not even her

friend) But, my 6.1 frame puppy for her 5.10 frameis not a bad idea at all( at least to me). And suddenly

I realized that my mobile phone beeped and it said

Syed, he is a close friend of mine we address him as

rush, he is mostly like me in attitude level the only

difference is that he is a super-awesome student andI am a super-bad student! And he said "mate you

busy? Can we go somewhere?" I answer in a super

enthusiastic tone that am dyeing for it. We went to a

boring Hindi movie its not that it was boring I

didnt even understand a word from it.

#6 A caf timeA spot at the caf the waitress was well-dressed

than me, Syed rushed and took out his new galaxy


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note(he is bit showy) But, thats not a problem at

all he is my best buddy to my astonishment he

asked the same question to me that Mateee am Ishowy.. Innature???" I asked "Who said so?" he

said, nothing just a friend of mine said I said 'FUCK

IT' he just nodded I can very much understand the

meaning of that nod, I just smiled for response. To

my astonishment he asked "Mateee you loveAvanthika rite?"(Is it that obvious?) I said, Hell no,

although I very much wanted to say that YES, I AM

MADLY IN LOVE WITH HER. But the fact is that I

dont want to see her un-happy after she gets to

know that a loafer or a looser like me is in love withher. I think this feeling is obvious, to words the

person whom you love the most, I repeat THE

MOST but, what about her? Like is way too-high

for a person like me that too with "AVANTHIKA"

but, I never had the guts to ask this to that cute,sweet, authoritative ,powerful angel. I could text

her for hours together but, something in real where

I lagged thats during the face to face contact to be


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frank during eye contact I wasnt able to look at

that SPARKY BROWN EYES-which, missed nothing I

repeat even though its authoritative (her eyes) she,is the most cutest girl whom I had ever met. Now I

love every cell of her's. Suddenly, I heard someone

calling SIDDHARTH(not with that extra stress which

comes from that honey patched voice). it was rush

whom called me, then I realized that I was withhim in a caf I was staring at the same place for

more than 15-minutes which was informed to me

later by rush who spoke with a bit of sarcasm in his

voice "This is what happens when you are in love"

All I could do was a shy-smile with a secretblush(Again I know guys cant blush!!) Now, I very

much wanted to call Avanthika but, this stupid-rush

is here. so, I just rehearsed in my mind that what

will I be able to talk to THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL

IN THE WORLD(Guys ,never use the word beautifulto a girl unless they are madly in love with her) At

least, I dont use that word. I bet she would turn

red (not blushing out of anger) but, I very much


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wanted see her face turning into pink color, I

visualized her with a pink colored face I can see her

for days together even, without pink color. I nevercared for spontaneity that too with AVANTHIKA

finally, I got the extra bit of nerve to call her she

took the call with her enthusiastic voice not,

because its mine) its her usual tone. I was addicted

to that honey patched sweet voice, even honey istoo-low (she has the at most plus points which

human beings could have!) and, I am not bluffing

its the fact , I thought she was made out of sugar

from head to toe, she again said halloo sid? Wats

up man? I thought next time it should be MYMAN! but, my usual syndrome I am way too

coward to ask her that so, I just said I met rush

they are very good friends, but, that wasnt the

thing which I prepared but, as long as the

conversation grows long I never mind! After all Iam dying to here her voice (honey-pitched one) I

know that she is cute, sweet and whatever romantic


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word in this world is just meant for her more over

she defines these words

#7 facing the death


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I could meet hundred death just to see her simile,

to my astonishment she has just changed her profile

picture. I fell in love with her all over againwhenever I see her(even if I just see, her picture). I

know that she is a very good artist I turn speechless

whenever I see her picture or any of her artistic

works. These days I had become a reliable friends

of hers because she started pulling my leg in fb witha post or a picture. I never get angry with her (how

can I !!) she is the best thing that has ever

happened to meant all in response I could just

send her a smiley. Suddenly I felt so-nostalgic that

it has been more than 2 hours since I texted her. Itook my mobile stared at it even my mobile wall

paper is cute-Avanthika which no-one knows.. as

my mind was racing and I very much wanted to kill

my time and I was glued to the favorite channel of

mine, What else star cricket it showed one o theoldest matches I guess it must be mid 80s suddenly

I lost interest in it, This is the first time in my life I

have ever uttered a word that "Cricket Sucks" its


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because of the change in priorities were cricket lose

its deposit against Avanthika. I think have a huge

admiration to-word Avanthika but, I have a betterword that is crush. I could no longer conttttrol my

mind so, I logged into my face book account again

and I just searched the name Avanthika, and it

showed me the most beautiful girl in the world but,

I started cursing the language as it s deficit of wordsto describe her. Probably some one can do a better

job than me, but cant love her as much as I do.

But, I can imagine just up to my level rite? And I

knew the very fact that " She is way out of my

league" But my heart has always had and has aproblem in accepting this truth , a bitter truth in my

way. In Avanthika's account there are over 250

photos of her I have already given like to all of

them "As Im madly in love with that person in

those pictures they never made any difference fromher reality. I gave unlike to all those photos and

started giving like again(just to while away time)

and I very well know, that she must be annoyed by


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know because of my notifications I was worried

about that too. and in, my mind I have already

thanked Mark Zuckerberg over zillion times forgiving the option of like button along with the

comment one as its a substitute for comment and

as I had always been a dumb mainly, with

Avathika's case and I noticed my watch and it has

been more than three hours! And I have justadmired and drooled over her pictures. And I just

noticed my mobile wall paper I dozed off (Probabily

,this is what people call breath taking beautiful)

#8 The dream


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As ,soon as I crashed my bed my eyes were shut but

my mind didn't. its pretty easy to guess that it went

in search of Avanthika(as it has always) and, how

can I live for two-months by not even looking at her

for real(because she said to me that she is leaving to

France soon)that very thought brought a lump in my

throat even, in my dream! But she was going for

real. How can I live two months? "Even seconds

will take years without Avanthika" but, it would be

too-mean to disturb her during her vacation, as thesedays are meant for her enjoyment, but I noticed that

I waged a war with my brain...

Sid: bastard, how can you live for two months

without even texting her?

Heart: I don't have an answer for your question ritenow but, I will proove you soon that I can.

SID: You can't your such an DUMB ASS

HEART: Yeah but, you very well know that this day

dumb ass is an day dreamer too. Who can lead a lifewith her in dream(at least two-months)of course in

dream NOT REAL


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SID: prove that.

HEART: You, have a bigger part in that as you

killed your originality for her.

SID: yeah, I do agree that but who doesn't get

fascinated towards her?/ and you will take over me

for few days?

HEART: huh?

SID: Nobody, who is normal will do such things...

HEART: Fuck it, it gives me pleasure!

SID: way to go stupid( you, will never achieve it it'sa far fetch dream, even her dog will take a lead in

your role ) and, I have already mentioned that I

never had the guts to propose to her it's because of

the FEAR OF Losing HER AS A FRIEND but, if

she says yes, I will be the happiest person on this

earth. But, I love each and every moment of thiscruch period of mine. And these thoughts were

disturbing me(even, in dream) but these memories

are to be cherished rite? So, I finalized that I will


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live for two months till she return from France. But,

what about her even, a faint memory of mine will hit

her?( am not sure of it) but, I will miss her like hell!

And every moment will be stretching one. And, I

waked up from my sound sleep! And heard that

honey dipped voice in my phone!( without, her

knowledge) and this is the day she said that she will

be boarding her flight to Delhi and then to France,

she gave me a call what a surprise! and said that she

is about to leave< I said with a maximum fakeenthusiasm in my voice that HAPPY JOURNEY

but, I don't want her to go and I turned to an

another person " who am I to stop her? Avanthika is

a bird, that too a CUTE BIRD worlds most cutest

bird, and I realized that she was on call and she said

that " Sid< in dream land huh?" and I said umm....yeah, nah... not exactly and she laughed out aloud

and said that this is her happiest day that a friend of

her's has dedicated a song for her and said that

mannn, Im on cloud 9and said that her friend get's

her face when ever he/she is hearing that song.. I

very much wanted to reply that I get your facewhenever I hear any song as usual I never had the

guts to say this to her and she left " I wish, I could

have the guts to propose to her soon."


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#9 Weeks by Weeks.


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1-week

apart, from rush and Mathews I never trust any of

my guy friends theyalways mock at me that I never had guts. Well,

actually what is guts?

G-give

U-us

T-theS-strength

I have got the copy rights from the VIP rush who

coined this abbreviation and I could very well relate

it with me that "God please give me the strength to

propose to Avanthika" on sitting on the couch I

looked myself at the mirror to god on earth I wasnt

that ugly at the same time I wasnt handsome or

good looking either its for sure I always have this

question in my mind that" guys always look for

those girls who are more than their level ! " And forinstance: look at me with the kind of bully figure I

have of course its bully when compared to

Avanthika's shaped features and she is a goddesses


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for sure! With her cute smile which can even take

other's life, attractive sparky brown eyes, sharp nose

which hooks me! and I dont even fit in to the roleof her driver(fact!) with the above mentioned

esteemed qualitys I must be looking for..

I should have been looking for someone who is of

my types to be precise a looser or loafer like me

but, my heart has a huge set back in accepting thisbut, to be frank she is greater than me in all aspects

in brilliance I am no match to her, In looks even a

bridge cannot fill the gap between us, its a great

fortune that she at least talks to me usually, girls of

her types or even lesser than her will not even mindmy presence. And with a physique I have so-called

well-built one which can also relate to my heftiness

thank god height is the only plus-point have! even

there

Avanthika is a huge competitor of mine ,I haventseen a girl who is taller than her I mean Indian girls

her absence killed me like being

in hell, and I gave like for every post of her rather


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than the post I

like the person who posted that even like is under-

rated as I am "madlyin love with her without her knowledge" I wish I

could see her now and

" I could have the guts to propose to her!"

#10 Now what?? Some more weeks


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week-2

it has been a ritual for me to stare at her profile for

an hour or so and, on seeing me someone wouldhave thought that I was meditating yeah, even this

is a form of meditation as I had no-other thoughts

in

my mind and I already said that "I love each and

every cell of her's " and now it has changed thatshe is in each and every cell of mine" so, there is

no amusement that I am in love with her/with her

profile picture. I thought of that cute, sparky brown

eyes! I know I am using the word cute quite a lot

for a guy but, its her impact on me and there is no-issue

that she is cute! you have to hearer her say that

word thats how I fell in love with that word, I can

very much see a noticeable Avanthika in me, no I

created Avanthika in me. I have even startedlistening to Selene Gomez whom she said she likes.

as for as I have heard about me from girls they say

"Im a cricket freak" I get damn furious with them


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when they say this but, Avanthika said the same too

but, this time I didnt get irritated not a small

hesitation in my mind I gave a broad smile to her(probably ,the person who says that and the

dedication is all that matters, I guess) but, this is

something great than mare dedication

but, my vocabulary is not that good so, I had to

stick with this( I have no other option) " I wish I

could see her this moment and have the guts to

propose to her" this, is how the whole week went.

After Avanthika came in to my life I had totally

changed now people

call me as "soft spoken" at this point of time I very

much disagree with Shakespeares statement that

"she stoops to conquer" but ,Avanthika never

stoops she just stares to conquered. Who can ever

say no to her. to others she is authoritative but ,to

me I can never say no to that cute brown

eyes(here again the impact plays a huge role)

" you will never be mine

but, still my heart longs for it


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when you are everything to me

I am just a somebody to you

still, my heart longs for itand, it will as long as I live"

After wrote these lines I had few tears which rolled

over my cheeks as I had always described her as a

princess I dont even stand a chance " she is way

out of my league" I never had luck in my life even,

in

cricket I had talent but, I wasnt able to express it,

the same I wasnt able to express my love to-words

Avanthika with all those cheesy lines and

everything. This is how my third week passed " I

wish I could have the guts to say my love towards

her.

4th-week

These days in my facebook account I havent sent a

message nor replied to anyones message infect I

didnt even read them, I started behaving awkward.

if my folks had taken me to a psychiatrist he would

have given me anti-depression drugs, they thought I


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was depressed because of my failure in cricket life

but, that was the thing I was least bothered

about, I didnt want to type another name apart fromAvanthika's name I silently admired her folks

creativity in naming her. In my place they never

anything about me but, my sister a knows that

there is something but, never bombard me with

questions. all over again I fell in love with

the worlds most cutest person(the impact) this is

the date exactly a year before Avanthika scolded

me for being too-lethargic but, that was the most

happiest moment of my life for two-reasons

1- she was considerate about me, it means she didconsider me as a person!

2- That tongue and lips were functioning for my

sake!

Yeah , to scold me. I wasnt able to help myselftake

my ugly eyes from her lips(without lip-coat or gloss)these are

the perfect incidents for a day-dreamer like me to

cherish am not sure if she remembers these things or


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not but, I have everything in my mind and the

second inch is all about a painting which she has

done. It was about a flower a rare one, I was starringat it for about an hour I guess. She snatched it and

out of reflex I pulled them and it has turned a bit

and she didnt react much for it. It was I who

confessed to her like a criminal and she coated with

sweet words which I should have done. These days

she is everything to me without her I am nothing(her

thoughts) my day will never get completed this is

how my week-passed . I wish I could have the guts

to propose to her!

5-weekit has been a month since I saw her in REAL but, in

dream I have no

one apart from her ,it must have been around a

week since I had opened

my mouth to talk to someone else. Like a patient Ihad loss of appetite

if this continuous then I will be admitted into an

mental asylum for


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sure. I felt that there were none in my mind apart

from me and

Avanthika these are the symptoms of mentalsickness so ,I planned to call Johnny and rush to my

place as I had already said that they are my

close-friends though Avanthika holds the first place

and then I realized that I have lost some weight and

my hair has not seen a barber for months, With achange in my clothes I would exactly resemble a

person from Paleolithic age some went to a barber

and pastured him to give change in looks(but, its of

no use as always) but ,still I had to admit that

with the new goatee I looked better than that

Average guy whom you can see anywhere "but

,these futile attempts are just to cope-up or at least

stand a chance with Avanthika.As I went back

home john was eating something as usual rush was

late.

I can still remember that smile of Johnny ( His 32

was visible) at least, His teeth have wisdom in them

unlike his mind, rush came and said sorry was bit

busy with a friend of mine the answer was quite


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obvious, that it was a girl for this reason I used to

envy him but, hats of no use. As I already have a

hugeeee crush on Avanthika.Its awkward to hide this from these guys but, they

figured it and never embraced me with that sort of

questions.We decided to go to the terrace in my

place and they decide what next to do. We thought

of watching a movie but ,later it changed to just a

drive. I was driving my Scorpio(Next to Avanthika

I have an huge crush on it) I never let anyone to

drive that car suddenly just accelerated it was just a

show-off and Johnny whispered that Avanthika

is not here so, you can reduce the speed( her, name

always brings a hint of smile in my face) there, again

these two guys have never matured

from the 9-th grade and both these guys are like two-

different poles so ,I have to pay my dues for

it. The only thing which, united them is food and I

joined them too ,I had fun with these guys after two-years as Avanthika has swallowed the

mean time but, its none of her mistake rite? and this

mistake of mine


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gives a lot of pressure to me with these wonderful

thoughts I returned

back to my place suddenly felt everything around meis beautiful " I

wish I could see her now if I had the guts to

propose to her" with

this feeling I crashed my bed to talk with her in my

mind.

6-th week

it has been 5 week's since I had heard Avanthikas

voice the honey patched voice she can even be a

singer I guessed, these days I have started eating as

usual but still I missed Avanthika like hell!

Obviously, without her knowledge even without

mine and thats what love

is right? And rather than missing I felt that I am so-

much dependent on her! it was one of those lazy

week days(nomad was lazy) I logged in tomy fb account to my astonishment she has changed

her profile picture it means she was on fb I missed

and her color has increased! She looked even more


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fare! And pretty, cute too. Whatever she does is cute

to me and, she has even bothered to send a message

to her "how is u?!" I know this is just an usualmessage to her but, it means a lot! and this remains

me one of those days were I was dying to get her

NUMBER and would remain on-line all day to just

see a green light spark over her picture (of-course!

not as sparky as her eyes are!) but, even now I never

know how I got the extra bit ofnerve to ask her

number?! Though, for a project I asked her and

when she gave me I Was ON TOP OF THE MOON!

there again after a huge hesitation weather to call

her or not, I called her and she answered

with a cool voice though a sweet one and we spoke

for about 15 minutes with the heart in my hand and

these cute incidents just bring a hint of smile in my

face! and also remains me that I had been a coward

even now I am one such but, I have improvised

myself from fear of speaking to fear of proposing

so, ill overcome this some-day that night I was able

to see a beautiful scene were the moon(it was a full


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moon day) my room is actually in such a

way that the moon would cover the whole bed, it

appears to me as if it was peeping into my windowjust to spoil my dream(as Avanthika is

even more beautiful than the moon!) probably it

might be jealousy of her I think. I have to admit

that I was just getting little poetic "oh! Moon I

know someone who is cuter than you

so, its time for you to leave my place

to pave way for the cute one to enter into my

dream" I posted this on my class group rush's

group. I was not able to post

this on my wall because, of the relatives in my a/c

even my mom is in my account this is the

disadvantage of adding them on your account! I

was even happier that Avanthika gave a like to it! it

even made me more special that someone France is

considerate about me all over again I fell in love

with her( I never knew why people often, use the

word "fall" to be submissive I think) in the following

days watched few more movies, this days I am doing


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that tri-lingual in Tamil, Hindi and English. with

people like John and rush they make you

see a movie in afternoon and another one in theevening they coined a word for that too action 500

" I acted as their driver but this driver has the

designation even to brake their bones, each and

every song remains me of her face! These days I

dont even bother to look at the most attractive ones

by, no means they are up to her level " I wish me


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#11 The words out

Guys... dont think this story is going to end. Its a

never ending story where I am gonna love Avantika

through out my life.. these are move lies about her...

my eyes went in search of her! and i saw her

she is even more beautiful than my previous

memory perhaps my usual term BREATH

TAKING BEAUTY did suit her she just waved

HI to me (as gracefully as ever) usualy

syndrome i fell deficit of words to describing hershe smiled that was not just a smile it had

something else too! suddenly i felt a rosepetal

in my arm were avanthika just wispered

something in my ear i was just half listening to

her i was morew of admiring her! and ienqquired again she just blushed! (wow! even

michael angelo cannot ortray her as it is!! im not

saying this because of my love towords her its a


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fact!)..... The next few moments of my life was

entirely different she,started saying that.. Sid i

met a guy(so,that must be the reason forhappyness?) i prayed hard it should not be, i'm

sure,i was getting jelousy that is because i care

for her the most in my life! but,still when she

said those words that she was in love my whole

wordld came to an sudden halt,i felt as if my

right part of my heart has detatched my left one.

but,she was very much expressive and happy

while expressing her love (well not about

me!)but, why can't she see that in my eyes?

that was the third year of my love life(of-cource

one sided) still,she meant the whole world tome! avanthika suddenly called me "sid... you

can't do this to me" did i speak that aloud?

no,certainly not. she said to me that back to

dream land? no,avanthika i was just visualising

you! but that was just half true! should i behappy for her love? (or) sad for myself it was

just a mixed feeling for me but, i'm sure that she

was happy that was the thing which i cared


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#12 eighth week

week-8I was getting bit weak during this week

as ,it has been 7 weeks since i had seenAvanthika, Here again the battle begins withinme impractical; Yeah ,I do admit that but, i love

what I am doing........

Practical ;may be your going to do this for lifelong as Avathika will never accept you....

With this, the practical stuff in me went but,

what it said is damn true as, i had nothing elseto do i went on-line again to my surprise

Avanthika was there! Soon ,All my sorenesswent away on seeing her face it was her newdp again, she looked even more ravishing thanmy previous memory , she always manages to

do this to me! it was that she was standing infront of Eifel tower she looked even more fare inher full black costume only her face wasvisible(it is enough to make any guy blush) i feltas if the tower was smiling because she was


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there !at this point of time I envy that tower as, itcan see her for real which, I am unable to do!and, i said to myself that hey !tower you are

marvelous just because of Avanthika'spresence there "I wish I could have been amaterial over there to see her now" shedescribed France to me soon, I switched on myhead phone to hear the voice which makes meblush every time and makes me fall for her

every time this is the time when I understoodthat I am addicted to her so-much so, I fell inlove with her all over again she also said thatshe will be back home soon! i felt as if I hadtaken a new birth all over again and i also saidto myself that Avanthika you are the most

sweetest person whom i had ever met in mylife, according to me "one part of me is dieng foranother" to meet her soon, and we continuedour chat some more time too .soon, i dozed offand in dream. i dont know what place it is but itis as beautiful as avanthika is " i was in the

middle of the stream rowing a boat whereavanthika was seated just opposite to me now,no body in the world existed at-least to me shewas in her best cloath and metoo, with the


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smell of the axe choclate(remember,even theangels will fall in for) sure, avanthika is onesuch angel even in my dream i was perfect in

this sense i was about to propose to her nowand i said "avathika you are simply breathtaking beautiful she was about to saysomething but, my mom waked me up and saidgo and sleep in bed sid. that was the momentwhere i felt the at-most angerness in me but,

didnt express it anyway i know, i will never getthis dream again in my life atleast, i hope thatdoesnt just become a dream! all throughout mylife " i wish i would have the guts to propose toher" as, avanthika said she will be here soon iwas counting every second of it and my so-

called dread full 8 week's got over!tical: you,have tried hard man!!!

impractical:thanx,but still a week's time is thernaa?

practical; yeah, but a person of your type cando that as you dont have anywork apart fromthat


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#12 The ending

i never knew that this would be the day which

would make me to spend sleep less nights for

the rest of my life.. it was just a normal day

for every others but to me? i wish i had never

loved her! i wish I should not have felt this much

for her when i knew i don't even stand


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a chance to make others believe that i love her..

i might not have an attractive face,i might not be

as brilliant as her still,i knew that I have anheart which loves her more than anyone could..

it was the day my lips quivered into a smile for

the last time i think.. i still,remember that it was

a bright morning as usual but to me it was the

darkest ever.. i went bit early that day with

fingers crossed! i thought i did have the guts to

propose to her ,now it has been the incident

which none remembers apart

from me.. i wish i had at-least said to her that i

love her" but ,my mis-fortune i never did. i just

go to a dream land when i see those sharp-brown eyes which would just reduce my

confidence level and it reduced my 6 feet frame

tojust a toddler.. i still remember she was simply

that "breath taking beautiful" the same happend

that day too but,avanthika looked different thatday in-fact "she has never been this beautiful in

her life" i went bit-early that day to-my

astonishment avanthika was seated in my


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class-room she was smiling well,not at me her

lips quivered into a cute smile i wish my life had

ended that moment as she was happy-it mademe myself more happy actually,that was the

first time i had seen avanthika in make up did

look attractive.. i know there was someone

behind her smile.,that was the last hope of my

life wheather it was me? but,am i asking for

too-much in life? i know that i'm still, i'm a

normal human being

right? When I called her once, twice, thrice she

didnt turn when I

raised my voice she turned and smiled "Sid the

life is just awesomeisnt?" I went short of words as-usual in replying

her! I stammered

a bit and said yes! Avanthika- wahao! The feel I

get while pronouncing

her name it worths a million times birth to me...when i returned to this normal world i asked

avanthika? She said w-h-a-t Sid? Sorry I was

just half listening


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man (my syndrome) imp now sure that she is in

love! But who? ...I did

enquire about it to her. She stammered a bitand said a guy Sid... he

is just darn-freekishly handsome! While

expressing her brown eyes

lifted-up she wasnt a human being for sure! But

my entire world crashed

and came to an end! I was just leading the most

dread-full moment of my

life my worst fear came true that day now

should I be happy that the person whom I love

the most is in love

with another? Or should I be sad for the samereason? It was a sticky

situation for me and silently I wished I could

have been that guy!

Does this mean I can no-longer see her? My

breath has to come to anend? Or I should live as nothing happened? My

whole life will lose its

charm if the above cases come true! Still I felt


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happy that she is

happy and she has met a right guy whom I

could never substitute with mymare love! With eyes filled with tears I saw the

moon and said to my-self bye

Avanthika i'vl meet you during the next full

moon day... as my rest of

the days passes just for this single night which

would bring her

memories back into me.. Now I knew I wasnt

16 anymore I was 27...

Still, with fingers crossed I live she will

understand me someday if

she still remembers a loosed called Sid!


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#13 epilogue

Now this is my time to write about my friend sundar

an amazing guy with hidden talents. I fist meet him

in our debate discussion and then added him in

facebook started chatting a lot and got to know him

very well I never had any plans for my life ever

and I heard him tell that he is had written a book

about the girl he loved (the love of this life) as I

didnt have any work( like always) I asked him to

mail me I got in bits it wasnt in a flow I thought of

putting it together for all u people this is such an

awesome book with awesome script sundar the first

thing that comes in to my mind is his funny walk .

Avantika isnt lucky to have my brother and I hope

that my brother will find his half soul soon .. this is

to all the love failure guys and girls JUST DONT

STOP YOURSELF FROM LOVE open your heart

towards it all are different you will get something u

didnt get from the last person the next one will

give you more and more.. I believe in fate and


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magical stuffs never hurt anyone in love you will get

a good punch right into your face soon never

cheat a true love u will feel for a long time its a bet the love you give someone is unconditional just

while closing this book remember that never hurt a

true heart try to understand and take a good care of

it love goes for ever and ever its a true thing trust

the heart that you love trust it madly fall in lovewho may time it takes. And also dont talk back of

anyone its the most stupid thing all girls do... never

gossip peeps its a horrible thing to do. Sundar, I

am really happy that I met a guy like you to share

the world this wonderful story about all the thingsthat happened in your life.

#14 Avantikas view

Before I start with my version of the story, I'mdoing this as a favor for a common friend ofmine and Sidharth's- Niha.


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It was in grade 10 that i knew Sidharth. He wasa new-comer back then. A good friend of his,once told me in a social networking chat, that

Sidharth was like totally addicted to me! like i'dbelieve that! He barely knew me and only atthat time, he even started talkin to me.Later another friend told me after a few weeks. Iwas gettin pissed off with the society. I mean, ifa guy whos new to a place, talks to a girl,

wanting to be friends, why on earth wouldpeople think that he's in love with her? Hisclassmates were really cranky, i tell you!So, Sidharth asked me if his friend had told meanythin like that. I was kinda reluctant to agree,cuz what if he has a row with that friend of

his?!!He asked me again, so i kinda agreed. To mysurprise he asked "so whats gonna be youranswer for tat?". I replied that whateveranybody said to me, its goina be a definite 'NO'.So that was the start of my part of the story.

Over the years, Sidharth has turned out to be agreat friend. We have a common friend, who'sone of my besties, keeps telling me thatSidharth is completely in love with me. Like I'd


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believe that! I ignored his vibe and let life takeits decisions.Sidharth was this guy who kept talking about

cricket. I know that he likes it a lot butexpressing your addiction to something tosomeone, becomes quite awkward when theykeep talking about it 24x7. So at one point oftime i called him a "cricket freak".We share a common interest in books.

Whenever he reads a books or when he'sreading one, he tells me about it and I tell it outtoo.He has always been the first person to give a"like" whenever i update/upload something on asocial networking site. Not that it irritates me or

anything, but it was quite peculiar for me backthen.One day, out of the blue, he said that he's goingto write a book. I ws flabbergasted. I mean, I'veheard people say that they're going to writepoem or books but I've never seen them

continue with it for more than a few pages. Butthis guy was DAMN serious!He'd send his book, chapter-wise whenever hefinishes one.


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THEN i realised that the character in itdescribed ME. I was completely shocked.

The way he described the girl, nobody wouldthink that its me. But deep down, i felt guilty forhaving talked to him for so long.Every word of mine would've hurt him.Sidharth's book resembled Durjoy Dutta's book.Describing one single girl and about what his

friends thought about it.My friends meanwhile, smelled that somethingwas going on and asked me.One day, Pooja asked me if he really likes me. Ishrugged and walked away.She's one awesome girl. She understands what

happens to the people around her with just alook on their faces. I;m a girl with LOADS offriends. MY best friends are damn precious.They're literally FAMILY to me.Back in 10th grade, Sidharth came to the sametuition as i did. He has even mentioned that in

his book! Like anyone would do THAT!Rush told me that the title of Sidharth's bookwas goin to be GUTS to propose- Give Us TheStrength to propose.


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When Rush said that, the first thought thatstruck my mind was, " Like Sidharth has no gutsto put it all in a book!"

He asked me once for my most favorite country.I replied without hesitation that it was India.He asked fr my second most favourite country,for which my reply was "France".I'm extremely patriotic. Anyone who evenDARES talk ill about MY country, will definitely

get a blue eye. Im not a violent person oranything, but i debate a lot, so the way i arguewill make them shut their mouth about India.So, coming back to the scenario, after like 2weeks, he had mentioned that i was on aholiday trip to France for TWO MONTHS, and

he had written 8 whole chapters on that.Pooja and Anu, who happened to be playingwith my phone at that time, saw the mail.Pooje read all the chapters and her mouth wasa literal "O" when she finished.

Anu is a girl who's still just a kid, but is waay too

mature for a kid. Cutest girl ever!Sidharth knows each and every detail aboutme.. with complete precision. i sometimeswonder how he knows so much about me. But i


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always have this guilty feeling whenever i readthe chapters of his book. Thats cuz i alwaysconsider him as an awesome friend, and he

doesnt feel the same way. It gets awkwardwhen you're among friends for some kindapractice for a programme in the assembly andyour friends start pairing you up. I get confusedwhether to get pissed off or keep shut. Hari isthe only guy, who, till now, hasnt made fun of

me with Sidharth. He's like my own sweet littlebrother. He even dedicated a song to me,saying that he gets reminded of me when helistens to it. Quite sentimental he is when itcomes to the siblingly relation!Sidharth is seriously very understanding and

supportive. But the reason that i feel guilty iscuz i cant, and wont ever reciprocate what hefeels. For which i feel really very sorry.Only this year, i got to know Niha, who's a yearyounger to me. She's quite cool, actually. I dontknow much about her, except the fact that she's

Sidharth's bestfriend.She told me that his book is never-ending. Butyeah its all imaginary and fictional. All of myfriends, Anu, Pooja, Rush, Akshay, and even


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Ajay who's a super-cool guy and extremelysupportive and sweet, know about this, but stillmaintain a bravado that they dont.

Sidharth, meanwhile, will always remain to bean extremely good friend of mine till the veryend. He's not like those guys who, if they "like"a girl, keep following her, or keepemailing/messaging or the equivalent toIRRITATING the girl. He's just the opposite.

And to add up, ill always feel awkward andguilty when he's around. No offence intendedthere.So, i guess this was nothing like an epilogue,but a summary of a 3 years' worth journal,wasnt it?

So thats' the end of my version! :)

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