““Dog Days of Summer” Dog Days of Summer” Proposal To Radio and TV Proposal To Radio and TV

Networks.Networks. I offer a humorous program for your listeners and viewers I offer a humorous program for your listeners and viewers

this summer as therapy during the 20-40 days of extreme this summer as therapy during the 20-40 days of extreme high temperatures and humidity they will endure.high temperatures and humidity they will endure.

My Sam McGee persona knows Bitter Cold and offers a My Sam McGee persona knows Bitter Cold and offers a refreshing psychological break and subliminal reminder of refreshing psychological break and subliminal reminder of the freezing cold we all experienced just 6 months ago. the freezing cold we all experienced just 6 months ago.

My program contains 3 short stories and 150 jokes about My program contains 3 short stories and 150 jokes about Bitter Cold and can be tailored to any country, state, Bitter Cold and can be tailored to any country, state, region or province. I work directly with your production region or province. I work directly with your production engineer.engineer.

The material can be edited into 1-2 minute bites over a 3 The material can be edited into 1-2 minute bites over a 3 hour talk show slot; or played in 4-5 minute segments hour talk show slot; or played in 4-5 minute segments over daytime news or music slots; or played in succession over daytime news or music slots; or played in succession for late night audiences.for late night audiences.

11

22April 21, 2023April 21, 2023

All the material is in my Trilogy book available online at www.SamMcGee2010.com

The Trilogy contacts:The Trilogy contacts:Sam McGee / Hong Bai LanSam McGee / Hong Bai Lan / Abdul Abulbul / Abdul Abulbul

AmirAmir

Author: Denis Braun of Zug SwitzerlandInternet www.SamMcGee2010.comContact denisbraun@hotmail.com Phone Skype: Megazebo.China: 158-00100253Kuala Lumpur: 603 2144-7628

Author / Concept: Denis Braun of Zug Switzerland

A Swiss-Canadian businessman living in Asia

Sam Character: Costume: Fur coat, hat, & boots.Theme: Bitter Cold + 100 jokes

Published by: Purgatory Press. KL Malaysia

33

Excerpts: Tale #1 Sam McGee is Bitter Excerpts: Tale #1 Sam McGee is Bitter Cold Cold

Sam McGee knows Biter ColdSam McGee knows Biter Cold is a 1905 tale of friendship between 2 is a 1905 tale of friendship between 2 trappers while dog sledding on the Dawson Trail in Yukon Canada. trappers while dog sledding on the Dawson Trail in Yukon Canada. It is Christmas week during the record cold December of 1905 It is Christmas week during the record cold December of 1905 remembered across the North as the Year of the Deep Freeze. Sam remembered across the North as the Year of the Deep Freeze. Sam McGee falls ill and makes a last request to his best friend Cap. Sam McGee falls ill and makes a last request to his best friend Cap. Sam is always cold and always complains of the cold penetrating his is always cold and always complains of the cold penetrating his whole body. The poem can give you goose pimples in the middle of whole body. The poem can give you goose pimples in the middle of summer!! Hence I believe I can bring relief and a smile to your summer!! Hence I believe I can bring relief and a smile to your listeners suffering through the Dog Days. listeners suffering through the Dog Days. The Complete poem is in The Complete poem is in the Appendixthe Appendix

2. 2. Now, Sam McGee was from TennesseeNow, Sam McGee was from TennesseeWhere the cotton blooms and blows.Where the cotton blooms and blows.Why he left his home in the south to roamWhy he left his home in the south to roamAround the world, God only knows. Around the world, God only knows. He was always cold, but the land of goldHe was always cold, but the land of goldSeemed to hold him like a spell,Seemed to hold him like a spell,Though he'd often say, in his homely way,Though he'd often say, in his homely way,That he'd rather live in hell. That he'd rather live in hell. 

44

12. Then I took a hike, for I didn't like12. Then I took a hike, for I didn't likeTo hear him sizzle so.To hear him sizzle so.

And the heavens scowled, and the huskies howled,And the heavens scowled, and the huskies howled,And the winds began to blow. And the winds began to blow. 

It was Bitter Cold, but the hot sweat rolledIt was Bitter Cold, but the hot sweat rolledDown my cheeks, and I don't know why,Down my cheeks, and I don't know why,And Sam’s greasy smoke in an inky cloakAnd Sam’s greasy smoke in an inky cloak

Went streaking down the sky. Went streaking down the sky. 

13. I do not know how long in the snow13. I do not know how long in the snowI wrestled with grisly fear.I wrestled with grisly fear.

But the stars came out, and they danced aboutBut the stars came out, and they danced aboutUntil again I ventured near. Until again I ventured near. 

I was sick with dread, but I bravely said,I was sick with dread, but I bravely said,"I'll just take a peek inside."I'll just take a peek inside.

I guess he's cooked, and it's time I looked",I guess he's cooked, and it's time I looked",And the door I opened wide. And the door I opened wide. 

14. And there sat Sam, looking cool and calm14. And there sat Sam, looking cool and calmIn the heart of the furnace roar.In the heart of the furnace roar.

And he wore a smile you could see a mile,And he wore a smile you could see a mile,But he said, "Please close the door. But he said, "Please close the door. 

You see it's fine in here, but I greatly fearYou see it's fine in here, but I greatly fearYou'll let in the cold and the storm.You'll let in the cold and the storm.

Since I left Peachtree down in TennesseeSince I left Peachtree down in TennesseeIt's the first time I've been warm."It's the first time I've been warm."  

55April 21, 2023April 21, 2023

Sam McGee, Cap, & Robert Sam McGee, Cap, & Robert Service Service

Whitehorse Hotel Lobby 1903Whitehorse Hotel Lobby 1903

66April 21, 2023April 21, 2023

Writer Robert Service

Cap the Trapper

Sam and his trophy black

bear skin

Origin of the word “Cool”Origin of the word “Cool” We applaud Robert Service as the first writer in history to coin term “Cool” We applaud Robert Service as the first writer in history to coin term “Cool”

in it’s modern context. (Appendix Stanza 14 line #1): “And there sat Sam in it’s modern context. (Appendix Stanza 14 line #1): “And there sat Sam looking cool and calm in the heart of the furnace roar.” for the reader, it is looking cool and calm in the heart of the furnace roar.” for the reader, it is the perfect mental image of Sam lookingthe perfect mental image of Sam looking composed, detached, composed, detached, indestructible, philosophical, assured, coolheaded, placid, indestructible, philosophical, assured, coolheaded, placid, impassive, quiet, low key, and nonchalant. impassive, quiet, low key, and nonchalant. Robert Service is Robert Service is thethe original and sole inventor of “COOL” original and sole inventor of “COOL”

In 1907, who could have known In 1907, who could have known Cool Cool would become an icon in global would become an icon in global verbal communication. To verify this discovery, I invite you to listen to verbal communication. To verify this discovery, I invite you to listen to

Robert Service himself reciting his own poem in a 75 year old CBC audio Robert Service himself reciting his own poem in a 75 year old CBC audio tape at tape at www.YouTube.com. Search Sam McGee. Search Sam McGee

It’s my honor to expose this literary milestone and now I challenge literary It’s my honor to expose this literary milestone and now I challenge literary historians to prove otherwise. historians to prove otherwise.

As for Friendship? Well it appears to be As for Friendship? Well it appears to be thethe simple key cornerstone of simple key cornerstone of human society. It results from a majority of people adopting stern codes in human society. It results from a majority of people adopting stern codes in their behavior, performance, and expectations. their behavior, performance, and expectations. Cool.Cool.

77April 21, 2023April 21, 2023

Inside the Cabin was Sam’s “Man Inside the Cabin was Sam’s “Man Room”Room”

Leather furniture, plank floors, saddle seat bar, moose head, log Leather furniture, plank floors, saddle seat bar, moose head, log fireplace,fireplace,

barber chair, bunk bed, poker table, antler coat rackbarber chair, bunk bed, poker table, antler coat rack,, and his lead Husky. and his lead Husky.

88April 21, 2023April 21, 2023

Last photos of Sam taken by Last photos of Sam taken by CapCap

December 1905 on the Dawson Trail before he stuffed him into the December 1905 on the Dawson Trail before he stuffed him into the boiler fire of the wrecked fishing boat the “Alice May”. He boiler fire of the wrecked fishing boat the “Alice May”. He

preserved Sam’s coat.preserved Sam’s coat.

99April 21, 2023April 21, 2023

Northerners see climate change as an irreversible reality

1010April 21, 2023April 21, 2023

The band between 20 and 50 degrees North latitude is home to 95% of the 4,500,000,000 new people added to the Earth’s population since 1800. Each needs an average of 400 tons of “support stuff” . No wonder we drifting off our axis around the sun. Appendix.

1111April 21, 2023April 21, 2023

Life is not all work in the North

Seal on the BBQ (Barbie in Australian) Sorry Pamela

Cultural Hook. Northerners (people living Cultural Hook. Northerners (people living above or below 40 degrees latitude) have above or below 40 degrees latitude) have many things in common and some differences. many things in common and some differences. But they ALL know the feeling and sensation of But they ALL know the feeling and sensation of Bitter Cold.Bitter Cold.

Moral Hook. There are 2 moral messages in Moral Hook. There are 2 moral messages in the Trilogy. the Trilogy. 1. A friend’s last need is a thing to heed. 1. A friend’s last need is a thing to heed.

andand 2. A promise made is a debt unpaid. 2. A promise made is a debt unpaid.

1212

The Culture of the North

Cool SunglassesCool Sunglasses

1313April 21, 2023April 21, 2023

They are expensive fashion items for trendy Southern people.

Sunglasses are critical protection for people above the Arctic Circles to defend against intense ice glare in summer.

Northern Art and Sculpture Northern Art and Sculpture

1414April 21, 2023April 21, 2023

Excerpts: Tale #2. Excerpts: Tale #2. Hong Bai Lan from Chang Hong Bai Lan from Chang Bai Shan Bai Shan

Hong Bai Lan from Chang Bai ShanHong Bai Lan from Chang Bai Shan is a 1910 parallel tale of is a 1910 parallel tale of friendship between 2 adventuresome Chinese from the North friendship between 2 adventuresome Chinese from the North who escape the bitter cold of Winter for the sand beaches, palm who escape the bitter cold of Winter for the sand beaches, palm trees, warm winds, evening breezes, and miniskirts in the South trees, warm winds, evening breezes, and miniskirts in the South of China. It is a tale of endurance and ingenuity in a quest to of China. It is a tale of endurance and ingenuity in a quest to fulfill Lan’s dying request.fulfill Lan’s dying request.

4. In Canton, the Western name for Guangzhou, they both quickly made 4. In Canton, the Western name for Guangzhou, they both quickly made small fortunes; Dong as an export trader in Kangxi porcelain; and Lan small fortunes; Dong as an export trader in Kangxi porcelain; and Lan designing and building small house boats that plied the Pearl River. designing and building small house boats that plied the Pearl River. Both had a common friend and client …. a medical doctor and political Both had a common friend and client …. a medical doctor and political activist who had just returned from Japan. His name? Sun Yat Sen. Lan activist who had just returned from Japan. His name? Sun Yat Sen. Lan built him a custom river craft, and Dong catered to his hobby of built him a custom river craft, and Dong catered to his hobby of collecting Qing dynasty porcelain. Every month or two, Dr. Sun would collecting Qing dynasty porcelain. Every month or two, Dr. Sun would cruise up to Guangzhou from his home in Xiangshan (later Zhongshan cruise up to Guangzhou from his home in Xiangshan (later Zhongshan 80km south of Guangzhou) and happy times would prevail.80km south of Guangzhou) and happy times would prevail.

11. Upon arrival in Harbin, Dong buys a horse cart; finds an ice factory; 11. Upon arrival in Harbin, Dong buys a horse cart; finds an ice factory; and buys 2 huge rectangular blocks of clear ice (clear ice is made from and buys 2 huge rectangular blocks of clear ice (clear ice is made from distilled water just as it is today to carve magnificent ice statues during distilled water just as it is today to carve magnificent ice statues during the annual Harbin Ice Festival). Then he chisels out the core; the annual Harbin Ice Festival). Then he chisels out the core; sandwiches Lan between the two blocks; and wraps the entire ice coffin sandwiches Lan between the two blocks; and wraps the entire ice coffin with layers of straw mats from the local wheat fields.with layers of straw mats from the local wheat fields.

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Lan and Dong with Sun Yat Lan and Dong with Sun Yat SenSen

1616April 21, 2023April 21, 2023

The exquisite vase on the table stayed in Yang Dong’s family for years until his great grandson had it sold at auction in England in 2010.

The winning bid was $83,000,000 US Dollars

Polar Swim: A New Years Day Polar Swim: A New Years Day TraditionTradition

1717April 21, 2023April 21, 2023

Northerners are tough.

From Solo divers in Siberia Russia, to massive revelers on Coney Island New York, Harbin China, and Vancouver Canada.

Cultural Hooks in the Cultural Hooks in the TalesTales

All Northerners know bitter cold no matter what their race, All Northerners know bitter cold no matter what their race, culture, language, diet, skin color, or ethnic group.culture, language, diet, skin color, or ethnic group.

Each Fall and Winter, we all spend countless hours Each Fall and Winter, we all spend countless hours dreaming about how to escape the cold and go “South”dreaming about how to escape the cold and go “South”

Combating cold is an integral part of Northern culture. Combating cold is an integral part of Northern culture. Nature can be life-threatening.Nature can be life-threatening.

Hope and expectation surround each of the 4 seasons.Hope and expectation surround each of the 4 seasons. Temperature extremes mean a daily consciousness of Temperature extremes mean a daily consciousness of

clothing options; and the weather is the opening topic in clothing options; and the weather is the opening topic in most casual conversations.most casual conversations.

For 4 winter months a year, white and grey are the For 4 winter months a year, white and grey are the predominant outdoor colors. That’s why the Northern predominant outdoor colors. That’s why the Northern Lights are so revered. Its like going to a drive-in movie Lights are so revered. Its like going to a drive-in movie theatre every night without the hassle of a car !!!theatre every night without the hassle of a car !!!

1818April 21, 2023April 21, 2023

Excerpt from Tale #3: Abdul Abulbul Excerpt from Tale #3: Abdul Abulbul Amir Amir

1919

Abdul Abulbul Amir is a tale of a very awkward friendship between 2 veteran legendary warriors of the 1854 Russian-Turk Crimean War.

25. "Well, you think I'm a coward?" said Ivan Skavar"Step forth and I'll slice off your ear""Oh, son of a cat, you'll never do that"Scowled Abdul Abulbul Amir.

26. So once more they battled and fought as beforeAs the multitudes returned from afarAnd lauded with cheers these bold buccaneersThis Turk, and this Russian Hussar

15. And still today a Muscovite maiden her lone vigil keeps,Beneath the light of the cold Northern star,And the name that she murmurs in vain as she weeps,Is Ivan Slavinsky Skavar.

2020April 21, 2023April 21, 2023

Russia

Turkey

Russia – Turkey War in 1854. The Black Sea divided their land mass.

Russian HussarsRussian Hussars

2121April 21, 2023April 21, 2023

Last photos of Abdul Abulbul Last photos of Abdul Abulbul Amir and Ivan Slavinsky Amir and Ivan Slavinsky

SkavarSkavar

2222April 21, 2023April 21, 2023

Excerpts from track #4. Sam Excerpts from track #4. Sam telling 150 jokes about Bitter telling 150 jokes about Bitter

ColdCold

2323April 21, 2023April 21, 2023

Sam McGee, How cold does it get in Edmonton ? It is so cold that when you turn on the taps for your morning shower; it starts to hail !!!

Sam McGee, How cold does it get in Berlin ? It is so cold that the Four Seasons hotel is just known as “Winter”.

Sam McGee, How cold does it get in Toronto ? It is so cold that pet stores only sell penguins and baby seals. !!!

Sam McGee, How cold does it get in New York ? It is so cold that the Port Authority reconfigures the Statue of Liberty so that she is holding the torch under her robes.

Sam McGee, How cold does it get in Sapporo ? It is so cold that sushi is placed into round dough, folded, crimped, and boiled as dumplings !!

Sam’s Dog Days Promotion Sam’s Dog Days Promotion Personal visits by Sam McGee in full costume to client Personal visits by Sam McGee in full costume to client

networks and stations during the Dog Days.networks and stations during the Dog Days.

2424April 21, 2023April 21, 2023

A Tale of 3 Friendships: The Trilogy

Event _____________________Date _____________________Time _____________________

Interview or appearnce 10-40 minutes

Sam McGee Bitter Cold. Recite and Discuss

Jokes and Northern culture. Recite

Hong Bai Lan. Recite and Discuss Abdul Abulbul Amir. Recite and Discuss

Appendix:Appendix:

Complete track texts.Complete track texts.

6-10 minutes each6-10 minutes each

2525April 21, 2023April 21, 2023

Track #1 Track #1 “Sam McGee knows Bitter “Sam McGee knows Bitter Cold”Cold”

© Braun CH 2009 edited version from the Robert Service original.© Braun CH 2009 edited version from the Robert Service original.

1. There are strange things done in the midnight sun1. There are strange things done in the midnight sunBy the men who toil for gold;By the men who toil for gold;

The Arctic trails have their secret talesThe Arctic trails have their secret talesThat would make your blood run cold;That would make your blood run cold;

The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,But the queerest they ever did seeBut the queerest they ever did see

Was that night on the marge of Lac LabargeWas that night on the marge of Lac LabargeI cremated Sam McGee.I cremated Sam McGee.

2. Now, Sam McGee was from Tennessee2. Now, Sam McGee was from TennesseeWhere the cotton blooms and blows.Where the cotton blooms and blows.

Why he left his home in the south to roamWhy he left his home in the south to roamAround the world, God only knows. Around the world, God only knows. 

He was always cold, but the land of goldHe was always cold, but the land of goldSeemed to hold him like a spell,Seemed to hold him like a spell,

Though he'd often say, in his homely way,Though he'd often say, in his homely way,That he'd rather live in hell. That he'd rather live in hell. 

2626April 21, 2023April 21, 2023

3. On a Christmas day we were mushing our way3. On a Christmas day we were mushing our wayOver the Dawson Trail.Over the Dawson Trail.

Talk of your cold --- through the parka's foldTalk of your cold --- through the parka's foldIt stabbed like a driven nail. It stabbed like a driven nail. 

If our eyes we'd close, then the lashes frozeIf our eyes we'd close, then the lashes frozeUntil sometimes we couldn't see.Until sometimes we couldn't see.

It wasn't much fun, but the only oneIt wasn't much fun, but the only oneTo whimper was Sam McGee. To whimper was Sam McGee. 

4. And that very night as we lay packed tight4. And that very night as we lay packed tightAgainst the dogs beneath the snow,Against the dogs beneath the snow,

We all were fed, and the stars overheadWe all were fed, and the stars overheadWere dancing heel and toe, Were dancing heel and toe, 

Sam turned to me, and "Cap", says he,Sam turned to me, and "Cap", says he,"I'll cash in this trip, I guess,"I'll cash in this trip, I guess,

And if I do, I'm asking that youAnd if I do, I'm asking that youWon't refuse my last request." Won't refuse my last request." 

5. Well, Sam seemed so low that I couldn't say no,5. Well, Sam seemed so low that I couldn't say no,And he says with a sort of moan,And he says with a sort of moan,

"It's that cursed cold, and it's got right hold"It's that cursed cold, and it's got right holdUntil I'm chilled clean through to the bone. Until I'm chilled clean through to the bone. 

Yet not being dead, it's my awful dreadYet not being dead, it's my awful dreadOf the ice cold grave that pains,Of the ice cold grave that pains,

So I want you to swear that, foul or fair,So I want you to swear that, foul or fair,You'll cremate my last remains." You'll cremate my last remains." 

2727April 21, 2023April 21, 2023

6. Well a pal's last need is a thing to heed,6. Well a pal's last need is a thing to heed,And I swore that I would not fail.And I swore that I would not fail.

So we started on at the streak of dawn,So we started on at the streak of dawn,But, God, he looked ghastly pale. But, God, he looked ghastly pale. 

He crouched on his sleigh, and he raved all dayHe crouched on his sleigh, and he raved all dayOf his home in Tennessee,Of his home in Tennessee,

And before nightfall, a corpse was allAnd before nightfall, a corpse was allThat remained of Sam McGee. That remained of Sam McGee. 

7. There wasn't a breath in that land of death7. There wasn't a breath in that land of deathAs I hurried, horror driven,As I hurried, horror driven,

With a corpse half hid that I couldn't get ridWith a corpse half hid that I couldn't get ridBecause of a promise given. Because of a promise given. 

It was lashed to the sleigh, and it seemed to say,It was lashed to the sleigh, and it seemed to say,"You may tax your braun and your brains,"You may tax your braun and your brains,But you promised true, and it's up to youBut you promised true, and it's up to you

To cremate these last remains." To cremate these last remains." 

8. Now, a promise made is a debt unpaid,8. Now, a promise made is a debt unpaid,And the trail has its own stern code.And the trail has its own stern code.

In the days to come, though my lips were dumb,In the days to come, though my lips were dumb,In my heart, how I cursed that load. In my heart, how I cursed that load. 

In the long, long night by the lone firelightIn the long, long night by the lone firelightWhile the huskies around in a ringWhile the huskies around in a ring

Howled out their woes to the homeless snowsHowled out their woes to the homeless snowsOh, God, how I loathed that thing. Oh, God, how I loathed that thing. 

2828April 21, 2023April 21, 2023

9. And every day that silent clay9. And every day that silent claySeemed to heavier and heavier grow.Seemed to heavier and heavier grow.

And on I went, though the dogs were spentAnd on I went, though the dogs were spentAnd the grub was running low. And the grub was running low. 

The trail was bad, and I felt half mad,The trail was bad, and I felt half mad,But I swore I would not give in,But I swore I would not give in,

And often I'd sing to that frozen thing,And often I'd sing to that frozen thing,And it hearkened with a grin. And it hearkened with a grin. 

10. Until I came to the marge of Lac LaBarge,10. Until I came to the marge of Lac LaBarge,And a derelict there lay.And a derelict there lay.

It was jammed in the ice, and I saw in a triceIt was jammed in the ice, and I saw in a triceIt was called the "Alice May". It was called the "Alice May". 

And I looked at it, and I thought a bit,And I looked at it, and I thought a bit,And I looked at my frozen chum,And I looked at my frozen chum,

Then, "Here", said I, with a sudden cry,Then, "Here", said I, with a sudden cry,"Here Is my crem-a-tor-ium." "Here Is my crem-a-tor-ium." 

11. Some planks I tore from the cabin floor11. Some planks I tore from the cabin floorAnd lit the boiler fire.And lit the boiler fire.

Some coal I found that was lying aroundSome coal I found that was lying aroundAnd heaped the fuel higher. And heaped the fuel higher. 

The flames just soared, and the furnace roared,The flames just soared, and the furnace roared,Such a blaze you seldom see.Such a blaze you seldom see.

Then I burrowed a hole in the glowing coalThen I burrowed a hole in the glowing coalAnd I stuffed in Sam McGee. And I stuffed in Sam McGee. 

2929April 21, 2023April 21, 2023

12. Then I took a hike, for I didn't like12. Then I took a hike, for I didn't likeTo hear him sizzle so.To hear him sizzle so.

And the heavens scowled, and the huskies howled,And the heavens scowled, and the huskies howled,And the winds began to blow. And the winds began to blow. 

It was Bitter Cold, but the hot sweat rolledIt was Bitter Cold, but the hot sweat rolledDown my cheeks, and I don't know why,Down my cheeks, and I don't know why,And Sam’s greasy smoke in an inky cloakAnd Sam’s greasy smoke in an inky cloak

Went streaking down the sky. Went streaking down the sky. 

13. I do not know how long in the snow13. I do not know how long in the snowI wrestled with grisly fear.I wrestled with grisly fear.

But the stars came out, and they danced aboutBut the stars came out, and they danced aboutUntil again I ventured near. Until again I ventured near. 

I was sick with dread, but I bravely said,I was sick with dread, but I bravely said,"I'll just take a peek inside."I'll just take a peek inside.

I guess he's cooked, and it's time I looked",I guess he's cooked, and it's time I looked",And the door I opened wide. And the door I opened wide. 

14. And there sat Sam, looking cool and calm14. And there sat Sam, looking cool and calmIn the heart of the furnace roar.In the heart of the furnace roar.

And he wore a smile you could see a mile,And he wore a smile you could see a mile,But he said, "Please close the door. But he said, "Please close the door. 

You see it's fine in here, but I greatly fearYou see it's fine in here, but I greatly fearYou'll let in the cold and the storm.You'll let in the cold and the storm.

Since I left Peachtree down in TennesseeSince I left Peachtree down in TennesseeIt's the first time I've been warm."It's the first time I've been warm."  

3030April 21, 2023April 21, 2023

15. There are strange things done under the midnight sun15. There are strange things done under the midnight sunBy the men who toil for gold;By the men who toil for gold;

The Arctic trails have their secret talesThe Arctic trails have their secret talesThat would make your blood run cold;That would make your blood run cold;

The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,But the queerest they ever did seeBut the queerest they ever did see

Was that night on the marge of Lac LebargeWas that night on the marge of Lac LebargeI cremated Sam McGee.I cremated Sam McGee.

16. And even stranger things are done under the morning sun16. And even stranger things are done under the morning sun

By the men who Hunt for Seal;By the men who Hunt for Seal;

The Newfoundland trails have their secret talesThe Newfoundland trails have their secret tales

That would make your gonads squeal;That would make your gonads squeal;

The California Lights have seen queer sights,The California Lights have seen queer sights,

But the queerest they ever did seeBut the queerest they ever did see

Was that night in the Spa up in Snowbird UtahWas that night in the Spa up in Snowbird Utah

I exfoliated Miss Pamela Lee. I exfoliated Miss Pamela Lee. Edited Version © Denis Braun CH 2009Edited Version © Denis Braun CH 2009

NoteNote: Exfoliate means sharing a hot steam bath and giving her a complete : Exfoliate means sharing a hot steam bath and giving her a complete skin message with glycerin soap and a slightly abrasive cloth to clean skin message with glycerin soap and a slightly abrasive cloth to clean the pores and remove all dead skin. This is the first step in the Sam the pores and remove all dead skin. This is the first step in the Sam McGee Total Solution to keeping northerners warm all winter.McGee Total Solution to keeping northerners warm all winter.

3131

Epilogue to Sam McGee knows Bitter Epilogue to Sam McGee knows Bitter ColdCold

CapCap raced back to Whitehorse and told his bank manager Robert raced back to Whitehorse and told his bank manager Robert Service the whole story. He continued trapping for a few more years Service the whole story. He continued trapping for a few more years Then assumed Sam’s identity and headed for California where he set Then assumed Sam’s identity and headed for California where he set up a road construction company. He later retired to Canada and in up a road construction company. He later retired to Canada and in 1940 he died and was 1940 he died and was buriedburied in Beiseker Alberta just north of Calgary. in Beiseker Alberta just north of Calgary.

Sam McGeeSam McGee never made it past Saint Peters Gates of Heaven. There never made it past Saint Peters Gates of Heaven. There was a rumor circulating around Whitehorse during the Klondike gold was a rumor circulating around Whitehorse during the Klondike gold rush that Christmas week was the best time to “cash-in”. God would be rush that Christmas week was the best time to “cash-in”. God would be attending birthday parties all week and security would be slack. No attending birthday parties all week and security would be slack. No such luck for Sam. At the Gate, God personally denounced Sam for such luck for Sam. At the Gate, God personally denounced Sam for using his last request so foolishly. Perhaps a plea for the forgiveness of using his last request so foolishly. Perhaps a plea for the forgiveness of his sins was more appropriate. He received a light sentence of 200 his sins was more appropriate. He received a light sentence of 200 years in Purgatory and is currently on day parole back on Earth years in Purgatory and is currently on day parole back on Earth entertaining people and teaching them how to stay warm. entertaining people and teaching them how to stay warm.

3232April 21, 2023April 21, 2023

CoolCool We applaud Robert Service as the first writer in history to coin term “Cool” We applaud Robert Service as the first writer in history to coin term “Cool”

in it’s modern context. (Stanza 14 line #1): “And there sat Sam looking in it’s modern context. (Stanza 14 line #1): “And there sat Sam looking cool and calm in the heart of the furnace roar.” for the reader, it is the cool and calm in the heart of the furnace roar.” for the reader, it is the perfect mental image of Sam lookingperfect mental image of Sam looking composed, detached, composed, detached, indestructible, philosophical, assured, coolheaded, placid, indestructible, philosophical, assured, coolheaded, placid, impassive, quiet, low key, and nonchalant. impassive, quiet, low key, and nonchalant. Robert Service is Robert Service is thethe original and sole inventor of “COOL” original and sole inventor of “COOL”

In 1907, who could have known In 1907, who could have known Cool Cool would become an icon in global would become an icon in global verbal communication. To verify this discovery, I invite you to listen to verbal communication. To verify this discovery, I invite you to listen to

Robert Service himself reciting his own poem in a 75 year old CBC audio Robert Service himself reciting his own poem in a 75 year old CBC audio tape at tape at www.YouTube.com. Search Sam McGee. Search Sam McGee

It’s my honor to expose this literary milestone and now I challenge literary It’s my honor to expose this literary milestone and now I challenge literary historians to prove otherwise. historians to prove otherwise.

As for Friendship? Well it appears to be As for Friendship? Well it appears to be thethe simple key cornerstone of simple key cornerstone of human society. It results from a majority of people adopting stern codes in human society. It results from a majority of people adopting stern codes in their behavior, performance, and expectations. their behavior, performance, and expectations. Cool.Cool.

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Track #2 Hong Bai Lan PrologueTrack #2 Hong Bai Lan Prologue

Hong Bai Lan from Chang Bai ShanHong Bai Lan from Chang Bai Shan is a parallel tale is a parallel tale of friendship between 2 adventuresome Chinese from of friendship between 2 adventuresome Chinese from the North who escape the bitter cold of Winter for the the North who escape the bitter cold of Winter for the sand beaches, palm trees, warm winds, evening sand beaches, palm trees, warm winds, evening breezes, and miniskirts in the South of China. breezes, and miniskirts in the South of China.

Fortune is followed by bankruptcy; and they end up Fortune is followed by bankruptcy; and they end up toiling in the hot steel mills in Wuhan where Lan falls ill toiling in the hot steel mills in Wuhan where Lan falls ill and makes a last request to his best friend Yang Dong. and makes a last request to his best friend Yang Dong. It is a tale of endurance and ingenuity in a quest to It is a tale of endurance and ingenuity in a quest to fulfill Lan’s dying request. Like Sam’ McGee, the tale is fulfill Lan’s dying request. Like Sam’ McGee, the tale is not about the main character or about death. It is a not about the main character or about death. It is a story of the endurance and perseverance of a best story of the endurance and perseverance of a best friend to comply with a last request. Two tales of two friend to comply with a last request. Two tales of two true friendships.true friendships.

The moral: A promise made is a debt unpaid.The moral: A promise made is a debt unpaid.

The Tale of Hong Bai Lan from Chang Bai ShanThe Tale of Hong Bai Lan from Chang Bai ShanSole Author Denis Braun aka Sam McGee. © CH 2010Sole Author Denis Braun aka Sam McGee. © CH 2010

1. In the early 1900’s within the beautiful Chang Bai Shan forest in Jilin Province 1. In the early 1900’s within the beautiful Chang Bai Shan forest in Jilin Province China, roamed an adventuresome logger, ginseng farmer, hunter, and outdoor China, roamed an adventuresome logger, ginseng farmer, hunter, and outdoor enthusiast named Hong Bai Lan. He cut the tall Korean pine, gathered ginseng, enthusiast named Hong Bai Lan. He cut the tall Korean pine, gathered ginseng, hunted wild boar, and photographed Siberian tigers. hunted wild boar, and photographed Siberian tigers.

2. Although rugged in character, Lan always complained of being too hot in 2. Although rugged in character, Lan always complained of being too hot in Summer and too cold in Winter and dreamed of perpetual warmth and a deep Summer and too cold in Winter and dreamed of perpetual warmth and a deep desire to live to the South of China …. the land of palm trees, ocean breezes, desire to live to the South of China …. the land of palm trees, ocean breezes, loose cloths, sand beaches, endless summers, good jobs, and of course loose cloths, sand beaches, endless summers, good jobs, and of course miniskirts. The seaside held Lan in a spell.miniskirts. The seaside held Lan in a spell.

3. Lan shared a passion for snow skiing with his best friend Yang Dong; a cook 3. Lan shared a passion for snow skiing with his best friend Yang Dong; a cook and local restaurant owner. One bitter cold winter day, after hours on the rope and local restaurant owner. One bitter cold winter day, after hours on the rope tow on the western slopes of Heaven Lake; they conspired to finally embrace the tow on the western slopes of Heaven Lake; they conspired to finally embrace the Sun and leave the miserable cold North. That very night they stowed away on Sun and leave the miserable cold North. That very night they stowed away on the “Iron Dragon” steaming south to Beijing, Tianjin, Jinan, Xuzhou, Nanjing, and the “Iron Dragon” steaming south to Beijing, Tianjin, Jinan, Xuzhou, Nanjing, and Shanghai. There they got temporary jobs in the kitchen of the Astor House hotel Shanghai. There they got temporary jobs in the kitchen of the Astor House hotel until they had money to continue to Hangzhou and points south to Guangzhou in until they had money to continue to Hangzhou and points south to Guangzhou in the Pearl River Delta.the Pearl River Delta.

4. In Canton, the Western name for Guangzhou, they both quickly 4. In Canton, the Western name for Guangzhou, they both quickly made small fortunes; Dong as an export trader in Kangxi porcelain; made small fortunes; Dong as an export trader in Kangxi porcelain; and Lan designing and building small house boats that plied the and Lan designing and building small house boats that plied the Pearl River. Both had a common client …. a medical doctor and Pearl River. Both had a common client …. a medical doctor and political activist who had just returned from Japan. His name was political activist who had just returned from Japan. His name was Sun Yat Sen Lan built him a custom river craft, and Dong catered to Sun Yat Sen Lan built him a custom river craft, and Dong catered to his hobby of collecting dynasty porcelain. Every month or two, Dr. his hobby of collecting dynasty porcelain. Every month or two, Dr. Sun would cruise up to Guangzhou from his home in Xiangshan Sun would cruise up to Guangzhou from his home in Xiangshan (later Zhongshan 80km south of Guangzhou) and happy times (later Zhongshan 80km south of Guangzhou) and happy times would prevail.would prevail.

5. Dong was so skilled with the abacus and so knowledgeable about 5. Dong was so skilled with the abacus and so knowledgeable about porcelain that within minutes into price negotiations with his porcelain that within minutes into price negotiations with his European buyers they were so confused they didn't know if they European buyers they were so confused they didn't know if they should scratch their watch or wind (adjust) their ass !!! But in should scratch their watch or wind (adjust) their ass !!! But in time, all their money was stolen or evaporated as a result of time, all their money was stolen or evaporated as a result of gambling, drinking, playing Shweng Bao Tai, and carousing with gambling, drinking, playing Shweng Bao Tai, and carousing with loose women. Eventually, bankrupt and jobless, they wandered up loose women. Eventually, bankrupt and jobless, they wandered up to Wuhan …… the hottest City in central China …. where they got to Wuhan …… the hottest City in central China …. where they got factory jobs in the local steel mill. factory jobs in the local steel mill.

6. Everyone knows that it is extremely hot in Wuhan, widely 6. Everyone knows that it is extremely hot in Wuhan, widely referred to in Asia as the “furnace of China”. And Lan and Dong had referred to in Asia as the “furnace of China”. And Lan and Dong had the hottest job stoking 1400 degree billets as they emerged from the hottest job stoking 1400 degree billets as they emerged from the foundry furnaces. Lan hated extreme heat and constantly the foundry furnaces. Lan hated extreme heat and constantly longed to return to his cool homeland in the North of China.longed to return to his cool homeland in the North of China.

7. One stifling hot day during the afternoon shift, Lan informs Dong 7. One stifling hot day during the afternoon shift, Lan informs Dong that he was feeling very sick and may soon die. If so, he asks Dong to that he was feeling very sick and may soon die. If so, he asks Dong to promise just two things: First, that each year on his birthday Dong is promise just two things: First, that each year on his birthday Dong is to send sweets, scented tea, or flowers to Lan’s mother to express to send sweets, scented tea, or flowers to Lan’s mother to express gratitude for his birth; and second, promise to never let his body go gratitude for his birth; and second, promise to never let his body go into the fire. In other words, make sure he is never cremated.!into the fire. In other words, make sure he is never cremated.!

8. Instead he asks Dong to take his hot body up to Heilongjiang 8. Instead he asks Dong to take his hot body up to Heilongjiang

Province in the far north of China; encase him in a huge block of clear Province in the far north of China; encase him in a huge block of clear ice; and sink him into the frigid cold waters of the Heilongjiang ice; and sink him into the frigid cold waters of the Heilongjiang (Amur) River ….. The same waters that flow north –west into Lake (Amur) River ….. The same waters that flow north –west into Lake Baikal on the Trans Siberian Railroad …. Baikal being the oldest, Baikal on the Trans Siberian Railroad …. Baikal being the oldest, coldest, largest, and deepest fresh water lake in the World. This way, coldest, largest, and deepest fresh water lake in the World. This way, Lan could be cool in Paradise and comfortable for all of eternity!Lan could be cool in Paradise and comfortable for all of eternity!

99. Now a friend’s last request in life must be taken seriously. Now a friend’s last request in life must be taken seriously, so Dong , so Dong agrees. But to his horror, the very next day Lan dies !!!! Suddenly, agrees. But to his horror, the very next day Lan dies !!!! Suddenly, Dong has no idea what to do. You see, in all Northern countries, Dong has no idea what to do. You see, in all Northern countries, a a promise made is like a debt unpaidpromise made is like a debt unpaid. And each profession and each . And each profession and each culture has it’s own stern code. In sparsely populated areas of the culture has it’s own stern code. In sparsely populated areas of the North, this unwritten code can save your life.North, this unwritten code can save your life.

10. Suddenly Dong realizes that he made a big promise to his best 10. Suddenly Dong realizes that he made a big promise to his best friend Lan ….. a promise that he must now keep. So he buys a large friend Lan ….. a promise that he must now keep. So he buys a large steamer trunk; stuffs Lan inside; and sprinkles perfume and steamer trunk; stuffs Lan inside; and sprinkles perfume and cinnamon spice over his body. He then treks to the Wuhan train cinnamon spice over his body. He then treks to the Wuhan train station and buys a hard seat on the steam train bound for Harbin. station and buys a hard seat on the steam train bound for Harbin. For 6 days and nights the train chugs through Zhengzhou, Beijing, For 6 days and nights the train chugs through Zhengzhou, Beijing, Shenyang, Changchun, and finally Harbin. And at every water stop Shenyang, Changchun, and finally Harbin. And at every water stop Dong buys fresh flowers and tosses them into the trunk to keep Lan Dong buys fresh flowers and tosses them into the trunk to keep Lan smelling fresh !!! smelling fresh !!!

11. Upon arrival in Harbin, Dong buys a horse cart; finds an ice 11. Upon arrival in Harbin, Dong buys a horse cart; finds an ice factory; and buys 2 huge rectangular blocks of clear ice (clear ice is factory; and buys 2 huge rectangular blocks of clear ice (clear ice is made from distilled water just as it is today to carve magnificent ice made from distilled water just as it is today to carve magnificent ice statues during the annual Harbin Ice Festival). Then he chisels out statues during the annual Harbin Ice Festival). Then he chisels out the core; sandwiches Lan between the two blocks; and wraps the the core; sandwiches Lan between the two blocks; and wraps the entire ice coffin with layers of straw mats from the local wheat entire ice coffin with layers of straw mats from the local wheat fields.fields.

12. He proceeds to steer his horse cart north for 5 more days to the 12. He proceeds to steer his horse cart north for 5 more days to the Russian boarder and the coldest part of the Heilongjiang River. He Russian boarder and the coldest part of the Heilongjiang River. He scouts the river bank and finds a shallow inlet and gently sinks scouts the river bank and finds a shallow inlet and gently sinks Hong Bai Lan into the ice cold water. Dong, now in tears, quickly Hong Bai Lan into the ice cold water. Dong, now in tears, quickly returns to the nearest village and gets enormously drunk on MaoTai returns to the nearest village and gets enormously drunk on MaoTai (Baijiu) and Harbin beer. (Baijiu) and Harbin beer.

13. He awakes at noon the next day trembling with fear and 13. He awakes at noon the next day trembling with fear and decides to return to the inlet to see if Lan has moved. To his decides to return to the inlet to see if Lan has moved. To his surprise, he finds Lan floating in the middle of the river on a raft surprise, he finds Lan floating in the middle of the river on a raft he has assembled from the straw mats. Incredible. There lays he has assembled from the straw mats. Incredible. There lays Lan merrily basking in the afternoon sunshine and drinking cold Lan merrily basking in the afternoon sunshine and drinking cold beer from an open 10 pack. beer from an open 10 pack.

14. Dong is horrified but Lan shouts to his pal that he is fine. : 14. Dong is horrified but Lan shouts to his pal that he is fine. : “My friend Dong, you see, it’s fine out here but I greatly fear “My friend Dong, you see, it’s fine out here but I greatly fear you’ll bring heat and dust to my pool. Since I left Wuhan via you’ll bring heat and dust to my pool. Since I left Wuhan via Chang Bai Shan; it’s the first time l have been cool. Thank you Chang Bai Shan; it’s the first time l have been cool. Thank you for honoring my last request Dong; and I hope I have the for honoring my last request Dong; and I hope I have the opportunity to return the favor in another life”. Dong smiles and opportunity to return the favor in another life”. Dong smiles and thanks Lan for his trust. True friendship blooms.thanks Lan for his trust. True friendship blooms.

15. Lan’s raft then drifts slowly away into the twilight around a 15. Lan’s raft then drifts slowly away into the twilight around a bend in the river and we see it approaching a derelict fishing bend in the river and we see it approaching a derelict fishing boat in flames on the shoreline. On board, is a robust and boat in flames on the shoreline. On board, is a robust and enthusiastic Sam McGee waving to Lan. A friendship is about to enthusiastic Sam McGee waving to Lan. A friendship is about to begin in Paradise between two spirits. One spirit from China begin in Paradise between two spirits. One spirit from China and the other from North America. We are witness to both a and the other from North America. We are witness to both a Beginning and an End as Dong returns to the village, in silence, Beginning and an End as Dong returns to the village, in silence, to search for a small shop that sells scented tea; and to look for to search for a small shop that sells scented tea; and to look for a new job. To Be Continued.a new job. To Be Continued.

EpilogueEpilogue Yang Dong Yang Dong went on to a very successful business career in China went on to a very successful business career in China

and became a legend in his time. His legacy continues and to this and became a legend in his time. His legacy continues and to this day for if you visit the departure lounge in any airport in China you day for if you visit the departure lounge in any airport in China you will find groups of foreigners standing around chatting and scratching will find groups of foreigners standing around chatting and scratching their watches. Dong retired to a villa on a small tea plantation in the their watches. Dong retired to a villa on a small tea plantation in the green hills overlooking Xiamen.green hills overlooking Xiamen.

As for Hong Bai Lan, As for Hong Bai Lan, every year around the middle of December his every year around the middle of December his frozen straw raft surfaces on the Heilongjiang River with Lan still frozen straw raft surfaces on the Heilongjiang River with Lan still smiling and basking in his hard hat and jeans; and still drinking cold smiling and basking in his hard hat and jeans; and still drinking cold beer from a 10 pack. The entire ice coffin is taken to Harbin and lies beer from a 10 pack. The entire ice coffin is taken to Harbin and lies in State in the main square for the annual Ice Festival. Tens of in State in the main square for the annual Ice Festival. Tens of thousands of people walk by and rub the clear ice for good luck, thousands of people walk by and rub the clear ice for good luck, bountiful fortune, and to renew their commitment to enjoy all 4 bountiful fortune, and to renew their commitment to enjoy all 4 seasons in the North.seasons in the North.

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Abdul Abulbul Amir PrologueAbdul Abulbul Amir Prologue

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Abdul Abulbul Amir is a tale of a very awkward and latent friendship between 2 veteran legendary warriors of the 1854 Russian-Turkish War. After reincarnation, they meet on the street and one accidently steps on the toe of his foe. Each processes a latent desire for friendship but each is so ingrained with anger, hate, and revenge that true friendship simply never has a chance to surface. They cannot even agree on how to apologize to one another. Their immortality is wound up in a vortex of calm. confrontation, battle, death, reconciliation, (and a repeat of the same) calm, confrontation, battle, death, reconciliation, and calm again as the cycle becomes perpetual. Sound familiar to anyone ??

Track #3: Abdul Abulbul Track #3: Abdul Abulbul AmirAmir 1.The sons of the Prophet are brave men and bold1.The sons of the Prophet are brave men and bold

And quite unaccustomed to fear,And quite unaccustomed to fear,But the bravest by far; a Son of Abubakar,But the bravest by far; a Son of Abubakar,Was Abdul Abulbul Amir.Was Abdul Abulbul Amir.

2. If you wanted a man to encourage the van,2. If you wanted a man to encourage the van,Or harass the foe from the rear,Or harass the foe from the rear,There was never a doubt, you had only to shoutThere was never a doubt, you had only to shoutFor Abdul Abulbul Amir.For Abdul Abulbul Amir.

3. Now the heroes were plenty and well known to fame3. Now the heroes were plenty and well known to fameIn the troops that were led by the Czar,In the troops that were led by the Czar,And the bravest of these was a man by the nameAnd the bravest of these was a man by the nameOf Ivan Slavinsky Skavar.Of Ivan Slavinsky Skavar.

4. One day this bold Russian, he shouldered his gun4. One day this bold Russian, he shouldered his gunAnd donned his most truculent sneer,And donned his most truculent sneer,Downtown he did go where he trod (stepped) on the toeDowntown he did go where he trod (stepped) on the toeOf Abdul Abulbul Amir.Of Abdul Abulbul Amir.

5. Young man, said Abdul, has life grown so dull5. Young man, said Abdul, has life grown so dullThat you wish to end your career?That you wish to end your career?Vile infidel, know, you have trod on the toeVile infidel, know, you have trod on the toeOf Abdul Abulbul Amir.Of Abdul Abulbul Amir. 4242April 21, 2023April 21, 2023

6. So take your last look at the sunshine and brook6. So take your last look at the sunshine and brookAnd send your regrets to the CzarAnd send your regrets to the CzarFor by this I imply, you are going to die,For by this I imply, you are going to die,Count Ivan Slavinsky Skavar,Count Ivan Slavinsky Skavar,

7. Then the bold Mameluke drew his trusty skibouk,7. Then the bold Mameluke drew his trusty skibouk,Chanting, "Allah Allahu Akbar"Chanting, "Allah Allahu Akbar"And with murderous intent he ferociously wentAnd with murderous intent he ferociously wentFor Ivan Slavinsky Skavar.For Ivan Slavinsky Skavar.

8. They parried and thrust, they side-stepped and cussed,8. They parried and thrust, they side-stepped and cussed,And their blood was spilled quite a lotAnd their blood was spilled quite a lotThe spectator blokes, who seldom crack jokes,The spectator blokes, who seldom crack jokes,Say that hash was first made on that spot.Say that hash was first made on that spot.

9. They fought all that night beneath the pale yellow moon;9. They fought all that night beneath the pale yellow moon;The din, it was heard from afar,The din, it was heard from afar,And huge multitudes came, so great was the fame,And huge multitudes came, so great was the fame,Of Abdul and Ivan Skavar.Of Abdul and Ivan Skavar.

10. As Abdul's long knife was extracting the life,10. As Abdul's long knife was extracting the life,In fact he was shouting, "Hussar!"In fact he was shouting, "Hussar!"He felt himself struck by that wily Calmuck,He felt himself struck by that wily Calmuck,Count Ivan Slavinsky Skavar.Count Ivan Slavinsky Skavar. 4343April 21, 2023April 21, 2023

11.The Sultan drove by in his red-breasted fly,11.The Sultan drove by in his red-breasted fly,Expecting the victor to cheer,Expecting the victor to cheer,But he only drew nigh to hear the last sigh,But he only drew nigh to hear the last sigh,Of Abdul Abulbul Amir.Of Abdul Abulbul Amir.

12.12. Czar Petrovich too, in his spectacles blue,Czar Petrovich too, in his spectacles blue,Rode up in his new crested car.Rode up in his new crested car.He arrived just in time to exchange a last line,He arrived just in time to exchange a last line,With Ivan Slavinsky Skavar.With Ivan Slavinsky Skavar.

13.There's a tomb rises up where the Blue Danube flows,13.There's a tomb rises up where the Blue Danube flows,And engraved there in characters clear,And engraved there in characters clear,Reads, "Stranger, when passing, please pray for the soulReads, "Stranger, when passing, please pray for the soulOf Abdul Abulbul Amir."Of Abdul Abulbul Amir."

14. A splash in the Black Sea one dark moonless night14. A splash in the Black Sea one dark moonless nightCaused ripples to spread wide and far,Caused ripples to spread wide and far,It was made by a sack fitting close to the back,It was made by a sack fitting close to the back,Of Ivan Slavinsky Skavar.Of Ivan Slavinsky Skavar.

15. And today a Muscovite maiden her lone vigil keeps,15. And today a Muscovite maiden her lone vigil keeps,Beneath the light of the cold Northern star,Beneath the light of the cold Northern star,And the name that she murmurs in vain as she weeps,And the name that she murmurs in vain as she weeps,Is Ivan Slavinsky Skavar.Is Ivan Slavinsky Skavar.

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And so ends this chapter in the aftermath of battle …. but waitAnd so ends this chapter in the aftermath of battle …. but wait

16. There is more is to be read of this battle we dread16. There is more is to be read of this battle we dreadMuch more to explain near and farMuch more to explain near and farIt is long overdue; as this battle we renewIt is long overdue; as this battle we renewBetween Abdul and Ivan Skavar.Between Abdul and Ivan Skavar.

And it all happenedAnd it all happened

17 By the shores of the Black Sea; where I wandered one night17 By the shores of the Black Sea; where I wandered one nightThe moon it was shining quite clearThe moon it was shining quite clearFor no reason at all I heard someone callFor no reason at all I heard someone callFor Abdul Abulbul AmirFor Abdul Abulbul Amir

18. Now Abdul Abulbul I knew to be dead18. Now Abdul Abulbul I knew to be deadThe story had spread near and farThe story had spread near and farHow he lost his own life while plunging his knifeHow he lost his own life while plunging his knifeInto Ivan Slavinsky SkavarInto Ivan Slavinsky Skavar

19. While I pondered …. the moonbeams descended quite low19. While I pondered …. the moonbeams descended quite lowCasting shadows profusely, and thenCasting shadows profusely, and thenI discovered that I was standing right next toI discovered that I was standing right next toThe tombs of both of these two famous menThe tombs of both of these two famous men

20. In the shadows of one tomb there rose from a grave20. In the shadows of one tomb there rose from a gravethe form of a Russian Hussarthe form of a Russian HussarAnd my skin nearly peeled, as he stood there revealedAnd my skin nearly peeled, as he stood there revealedIt was Ivan Slavinsky SkavarIt was Ivan Slavinsky Skavar 4545April 21, 2023April 21, 2023

21. It was he who was calling; I hardly dared breathe21. It was he who was calling; I hardly dared breatheAs my heart stopped beating from fearAs my heart stopped beating from fearWhen out of the next grave, in need of a shaveWhen out of the next grave, in need of a shaveArose Abdul Abulbul AmirArose Abdul Abulbul Amir

22. "Would you speak with me Ivan?" said Abdul quite low22. "Would you speak with me Ivan?" said Abdul quite low"I would" replied Ivan quite clear"I would" replied Ivan quite clear"That quarrel we had, it was all to the bad"That quarrel we had, it was all to the badFriend Abdul Abulbul Amir“Friend Abdul Abulbul Amir“

23. “ I've lain here for ages with that on my mind23. “ I've lain here for ages with that on my mindAnd that's why I called you tonight"And that's why I called you tonight""Well, I'm in the same state", said Abdul the great"Well, I'm in the same state", said Abdul the great“It was foolish for the two of us to fight““It was foolish for the two of us to fight“

24. "Oh friend, thou art blameless", cried Ivan in haste24. "Oh friend, thou art blameless", cried Ivan in haste"The fault lies in my hands alone""The fault lies in my hands alone"But Abdul said "No, it was never that wayBut Abdul said "No, it was never that wayThe fault, it was clearly mine own“The fault, it was clearly mine own“

25. "Well, you think I'm a coward?" said Ivan Skavar25. "Well, you think I'm a coward?" said Ivan Skavar"Step forth and I'll slice off your ear""Step forth and I'll slice off your ear""Oh, son of a cat, you'll never do that""Oh, son of a cat, you'll never do that"Warned Abdul Abulbul AmirWarned Abdul Abulbul Amir

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26. So once more they battled and fought as before26. So once more they battled and fought as beforeThe multitudes returned from afarThe multitudes returned from afarAnd lauded with cheers these bold buccaneersAnd lauded with cheers these bold buccaneersThis Turk, and this Russian HussarThis Turk, and this Russian Hussar

27. The ghost of the Czar on a fiery black steed27. The ghost of the Czar on a fiery black steedCame rushing to witness the frayCame rushing to witness the frayWhile the Sultan sat there in his royal golden chairWhile the Sultan sat there in his royal golden chairIt was just like a scene from a play.It was just like a scene from a play.

28. They dodged and they weaved without a reprieve28. They dodged and they weaved without a reprieveSave to piss and take high tea at 2:00.Save to piss and take high tea at 2:00.Then return to the scrum with a swig of black rumThen return to the scrum with a swig of black rumPick a winner? It was all up to youPick a winner? It was all up to you..

29. When just at that moment each sword found its mark29. When just at that moment each sword found its markAnd I heard a blood-curdling screamAnd I heard a blood-curdling screamI opened my eyes and to my great surpriseI opened my eyes and to my great surpriseI discovered ……. it was only a dream.I discovered ……. it was only a dream.

To be continuedTo be continued

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Epilogue to Abdul and IvanEpilogue to Abdul and Ivan

30. Epilogue: To this day, Abdul and Ivan continue to 30. Epilogue: To this day, Abdul and Ivan continue to reincarnate every 10 to 15 years. Just imagine; these two reincarnate every 10 to 15 years. Just imagine; these two fundamental orifices who can not even agree on a protocol to fundamental orifices who can not even agree on a protocol to apologize to one another !!!! For these characters, latent apologize to one another !!!! For these characters, latent friendship never will have a chance to surface. Around 1945, friendship never will have a chance to surface. Around 1945, both finally said “enough was enough” and each independently both finally said “enough was enough” and each independently decided to immigrate to Palestine !!!. However, the latest rumor decided to immigrate to Palestine !!!. However, the latest rumor is that both are moving on to battle on the Korean peninsula.is that both are moving on to battle on the Korean peninsula.

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