Elder Care: Taking Care of Yourself while Caring for Your Elders

Overview:

Being pulled in so many directionsKey aspects of senior life issuesPlanning ahead with your parents: communication, communication, communicationMaking realistic assessment of the care needs Elder Care – a family & community affair Take care of each other

Pulled in so many directions

Sandwich generationBetween ages of 35 and 60Needs of your own childrenNeeds of your parentsOwn financial future and financial needs of parents

Pulled in so many directions

WorkingRaising your own childrenCaring for an older adultCan cause you to feel:

ExhaustedOverloadedGuiltyWorrying that you have neglected someone

Key Aspects of Senior Life Issues-Medicare

Covers medical expenses for individuals over age 65Part A: hospital insurance and skilled nursingPart B: basic medical services-md office visits Part D: PrescriptionWhere to obtain information.

Key Aspects of Senior Life Issues - Medicare

Many care needs not coveredPrescription drugsRoutine physicalsEye glassesHearing aidsMost dental servicesRoutine foot care

Key Aspects of Senior Life Issues - Medigap

To fill the difference left by MedicarePurchase Medigap policies

Private insurance Two forms

• One fills the gaps in Medicare benefits• One assigns coverage for medical care through an

HMO or other managed care plans

Key Aspects of Senior Life Issues - Prescriptions:

Explore medigap plans for prescription coverageUse mail order for chronic medicationsTalk with MD about alternative medications or genericsShop around to different pharmaciesExplore low income programs through the pharmaceutical companies

Key Aspects of Senior Life issues - Living environments

Independent LivingContinuing Care Retirement CommunitiesAssisted Living CentersBoard and Care HomesSkilled Nursing HomesDementia/Alzheimer Units

Key aspects of Senior Life Issues - Living environments

Identify the options available in your areaReview these optionsSelect a few facilities for a site visitDo your homeworkMaking a decisionConsult with the EAP for assistance in this process

Key aspects of Senior Life issues - Health Care Directives

Durable power of attorney Allows you to appoint someone to see that doctors give you the type of care you want

Advanced directives When you are unable to direct your own medical care, this document allows the person appointed to direct your medical care

Key Aspects of Senior Life Issues – Long-Term Care Insurance

Insurance that provides for long-term care in a skilled nursing facilities, assisted living or home care.Cheaper when purchased earlier

Planning Ahead with Your Parents – communication, communication, communication!

Start planning before a crisis occursNever an easy conversationNeed to overcome your natural fear about “meddling in their affairs”.

Planning Ahead with Your Parents – communication, communication, communication

Conversation with your parents about the following topics:

Medical careFinancial affairsHousing plansAnd other arrangements

Planning Ahead with Your Parents – communication, communication, communication

Be sensitive, genuine, but direct Be supportive and not judgmentalAsk open ended questionsBe prepared to accept and respect your parents’ decisions and points of view Do not overwhelm them with lots of probing questions

Realistic Assessment of Care Needs

Number of issues need to be clarifiedDo your parents want to remain in their home as long as possible?Do they have long-term care insurance?In the event of a crisis, is there a family member available who can provide care for several months? How do you and your parents feel about their moving into your home?

Realistic Assessment of Care Needs

Do your parents live in a remote area or are there services available in the area?Do your parents have an updated will?How do they want to have health decisions made?Have they signed a health care directive?

Elder Care – a family and community affair

Care most often provided by women in the familyTry to find ways to share care giving tasks

Spouse assists with children or the aging parentOther relatives who can assistExplore FMLA as an optionExplore community resources that can be helpful

Elder Care – a family and community affair

Adult Protective Services (APS)IHSSSenior CentersMeals on WheelsVisiting Nurses AssociationEAP

Take care of each other

Emotional experiences of care giving

Role reversalSense of loss & gainPressure to provide all care needs Guilt about making decisions on placement

Take care of each other

Emotional experiences of care receiving

Roles ReversalSense of loss and gainFear of total dependencyAnxiety about placement

Take care of Each Other

Nurture your relationship Not the time to fix old wounds

Time to share memoriesFocus on the positives of the momentRealistic expectations

Take care of each other

Create opportunities for your parents to

care for you while you care for them

Resources

IBHcorp.com: WorkLifeAarp.org/families/caregivingMayoclinic.com/printSsa.gov: Social security AdministrationLocal resources: County Department of Social Services, Office on Aging, Senior Centers…EAP services