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ELIMINATING STRESS AND BUILDING HEALTHY SPOUSAL/PARTNERSHIP AND
SIBLING RELATIONSHIPS
Tools For TransformationApril 11, 2015
First the disclaimer…
We can’t eliminate stress; nor do we want to. However we can minimize the negative impact of stress.
We want the best for our kids so we are committed taking care of them at any cost.
But sometimes we forget that our child with a disability isn’t the only person in the family…
it is important toTake care of everyone, Especially you
The Facility of the Airplane Analogy
Caregivers Need to Take Care of Themselves
• Family caregivers are less likely than non-caregivers to practice preventive healthcare and self-care behavior.
• Regardless of age, sex, and race and ethnicity, caregivers report problems attending to their own health and well-being while managing care-giving responsibilities.
Caregivers Need to Take Care of Themselves
• They report:– sleep deprivation – poor eating habits – failure to exercise – failure to stay in bed when ill – postponement of or failure to make
medical appointments.
Feeling stress doesn’t mean we are not doing a
good job.
TAKING CARE OF RELATIONSHIPS
Relationship Risk?• Recent research has shown
that contrary to previous thought, there isn’t a higher divorce rate among parents of children with special needs
• All relationships need nurturing
• Stress can strain the fabric of any marriage
Siblings• These brothers and sisters will be in the lives of family
members with special needs longer than anyone. Brothers and sisters will be there after parents are gone and special education services are a distant memory. If they are provided with support and information, they can help their sibs live dignified lives from childhood to their senior years.
• Throughout their lives, brothers and sisters share many of the concerns that parents of children with special needs experience, including isolation, a need for information, guilt, concerns about the future, and caregiving demands. Brothers and sisters also face issues that are uniquely theirs including resentment, peer issues, embarrassment, and pressure to achieve.
What Siblings Would Like Parents and Service Providers to Know
STRATEGIES FOR THE RIDE
Caregiver Self Care• Put yourself first, • Manage stress, • Socialize• Get helpCaring to the End – Princess Margaret Hospital
Tips
• Be a “good enough” parent
Tips
• Use respite
Tips
• Be a team
Tips
•Watch out for signs of depression
Tips
• Accept help
Tips
• Learn the difference between caring and doing.
Tips
• Trust your instincts. Most of the time they will lead you in the right direction.
Tips
• Grieve for your losses, and then allow yourself to dream new dreams.
Tips
• Seek support
Tips • Have a Expanded Vocabulary of
Emotions
1/7/2010 25
Tips• Bag Full of Marbles or Basket of
Kittens?
How Do You Gather a Basket Full of Kittens?
One Kitten at a Time
What's On Your Plate
must do could dodon’t have to do
let someone else do
I must do
1.1.1.1.1.1.1.
Priorities
Signs You May Need More Help• Feeling overwhelmed • Sleeping too much or too little • Gaining or losing a lot of weight • Feeling tired most of the time • Loss of interest in activities you used to enjoy
• Becoming easily irritated or angered • Feeling constantly worried • Often feeling sad • Frequent headaches, bodily pain, or
other physical problems • Abuse of alcohol or drugs, including
prescription drugs WomensHealth.gov
ResourcesARCH – National Respite Network and Resource Center
http://archrespite.org/home Disability.gov
http://www.disability.gov/health/caregiver_&_provider_resources/caregivers
Family Caregiver Alliance http://www.caregiver.org/caregiver/jsp/home.jsp
National Alliance for Caregivers http://www.caregiving.org/ National Family Caregivers Association (NFCA)
http://nfcacares.org/index.cfm The Unplanned Journey
http://www.parentcenterhub.org/repository/journey/ Sibling Leadership Network www.siblingleadership.org Sibling Support Project http://www.siblingsupport.org/
