Elite Leadership Development Issue 2

LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT ELITE

ELITE DEVELOPMENT FOR ELITE LEADERS

INSIDE: HOW TO DEAL WITH A HORRIBLE BOSS

⭐ TOP TIPS FOR NEW MANAGERS⭐ HAVING THAT DIFFICULT CONVERSATION.⭐

May

201

5

SHOULD YOU SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF?

THE COMMON TRAITS OF SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE

COMMON LEADERSHIP MYTHS

CONTENTS

ISSUE TWO | www.EliteLD.co.nz | Page 1

www.EliteLD.co.nz

EDITOR

IMAGES BY

Mark Wager [email protected]

COVER IMAGE

3 COMMON TRAITS OF SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE

We are fascinated by people who are successful, whether their field is in business, sports,or entertainment. By studying these successful people we can learn lessons to make ourselves more successful.

5 COMMON LEADERSHIP MYTHS

8 QUOTES OF THE MONTH

Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

13 HOW TO DEAL WITH A HORRIBLE BOSS

Too many people work for inefficient bosses, people who are poor Managers lacking leadership skills. Today people want to be led rather than managed and it is equally sad because there is no excuse for being a bad boss when all the skill sets of being a good leader can be learned given time and dedication.

18 HAVING THAT DIFFICULT CONVERSATION

22 SHOULD YOU SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF? Stuart Miles

Master isolated images iosphere jannoon028 jesadaphorn franky242

at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

To achieve success should you sweat the small stuff or not?

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COACHING [email protected]

There are many of us who aspire to be leaders while others have the mantle of leadership thrust upon them but is leadership what we think it is?

10 TOP TIPS: NEW MANAGERSYou are now boss, you have people reporting to you and your whole working life is about to change forever. Here are few tips to avoid those common first-time manager mistakes.

While we are building up the courage to discuss the matter the issue is also building inside us. We are worried about how the person is going to react. Are we going to make things worse?

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Welcome to Elite Leadership Development Magazine

I had the honour recently of conducting a survey on the state of leadership in New Zealand. The results while not surprising where disappointing, one in four people said that their immediate manager/supervisor was a poor leader and half rated them as poor or fair.

Having a boss with poor leadership skills is unfortunately way too common. In this months edition we look at how people can handle this all too common situation. We also look at how people new to managerial roles can avoid the mistakes that many bad leaders make.

Don't despair there are also some successful leaders out there and we look at the mentality of what makes these people just so successful and how we can learn from them.

Thank you for downloading this magazine and I hope you find it interesting. If you do, feel free to forward it onto your colleagues or even your boss.

If you want to have a chat look me up on Twitter mark_wager or just email me directly at [email protected]

Thanks,

Mark

www.EliteLD.co.nz








THE COMMON TRAITS OF SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE

By Mark Wager

We are fascinated by people who are successful, whether their field is in business, sports,or entertainment. By studying these successful people we can learn lessons to make ourselves more successful. We may not reach world class levels but we can definitely take a step closer to our own personal goals.

Hundred percent belief "It's the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen." - Muhammad Ali.

Everyone who achieves success has confidence in their ability to do so. When they succeed they are not shocked or surprised. Its more like a realisation of destiny. We all like to think that we have

confidence but often that confidence is not absolute. Unless you have complete 100% confidence you will never be able to focus everything on your goal.

Focus on the present “The past does not equal the future unless you live there.” – Tony Robbins

Successful people live in the present. They don't care about what happened yesterday they only care about today. The only benefits that come from yesterday is that it provides lessons that can be useful to make today great. I've worked with many people who are being held back from pursuing their dreams by past failures and regrets.




Hard work "Dictionary is the only place that success comes before work. Hard work is the price we must pay for success. I think you can accomplish anything if you're willing to pay the price." - Vince Lombard

It may seem obvious that in order to be successful you have to work hard but what may not be obvious is the level of commitment and sacrifice that success requires. If you want to accomplish tomorrow what others can't then you need to make decisions today that others won't.

Refuse to lose "It's fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure." - Bill Gates.

We all encounter failure no matter who we are. The difference between the people who succeed and the people who don't is not how many times they fail but how they deal with failure. Successful people take lessons from failure and move on and leave failure where it belongs, in the past. They know that every great success has it's genesis in an initial failure.

Accept responsibility "Too often in life, something happens and we blame other people for us not being happy or satisfied or fulfilled. So the point is, we all have choices, and we make the choice to accept people or situations or to not accept situations." - Tom Brady.

Successful people have a mindset that enables them to take responsibility for every aspect of their lives. They don't blame other people or blame bad luck, they just focus on what they need to do in order to succeed. You and only you have the responsibility to make your dreams come true and no one else is to blame if that doesn't happen.




“Leadership is about doing what needs to be done and that can involve doing the job that no one else wants to do”

There are many of us who aspire to be leaders while others have the mantle of leadership thrust upon them but is leadership what we think it is? There are a lot of misconceptions out there and in order to be an effective leader we must be able to separate the reality from the myths.

Myth: Leadership is glamorous. To be honest being a leader can appear glamorous but there are times when difficult decisions have to be made and it is in these times that a leader has to prioritise the greater need of the team ahead over any personal interests and that can be difficult. Leadership is about doing what needs to be done and that can involve doing the job that no one else wants to do.

Myth: Leaders are born not made. This is an old myth and still today all too commonly mentioned. The suggestion of leaders being born instead of being made is outdated. Leadership is a series of behaviours and skills and like all behaviours and skills they can be learnt. Nature may give you a head start but it’s what you do that makes you a leader.

COMMON LEADERSHIP MYTHS

By Mark Wager




“Leadership in many ways is about the search for truth. Finding the truth within yourself, finding the truth within your team and finding the truth behind the challenges you face"

Myth: You have to be loud in order to become a leader. One of the first things I explain to emerging leaders is that every person has the potential to become an equally effective but unique leader. There are a lot of leaders who are introverted in nature. I’m one of those people. We all have our preferences. Leadership is about being aware of those preferences and being prepared to act outside of those preferences without straying too far from the person you are.

Myth: Leadership is the same as management. While often considered the same leadership and management are very

different. Management is the responsibility and control over people and resources in order to achieve an objective while leadership is the influence over people in order to achieve an objective. Myth: Leaders know all the answers. If you know all the answers you are not a leader you are a genius and you shouldn’t be reading this article. Leaders are people and people have limitations. It is unrealistic to know all the answers and it’s not healthy for a team to be so reliant on one person. An elite leader influences the team so that questions/problems can be answered by using the collective knowledge and experience of the team. A

true leader never stops learning.

Myth: Leaders have to distance themselves from the team. While some people prefer closer relationships with their colleagues than others, it is not an essential requirement in the role of a leader. Leaders can be approachable and likeable. A true leader knows that they are not more important than anyone else in the team.




Myth: Leadership is a position. Management is a position but leadership is not. Leadership is a mission. Remember leadership is about influence and influence within an organisation can come from many sources and not all of those sources are at the top of the management structure. Effective teams have leadership at all levels.

Leadership in many ways is about the search for truth. Finding the truth within yourself, finding the truth within your team and finding the truth behind the challenges you face. It is myths like the ones above that cloud the truth and make the path of leadership a more difficult journey.

“Every person has the potential to become an equally effective but unique leader."

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"It was not only interesting, but also brilliant and most importantly: useful."

"Beyond interesting! Developing future leaders is imperative. Leaders need more leaders. Thanks for sharing!"

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Top Tips: New Managers Every month we will look at some practical tips to help Managers in every situation

You’ve been working hard, you are business expert and everyone knows how good you are at your job and now that special day has come that the boss invites you into his/her office and gives you the promotion you have been working for.Great news – right? You are now boss, you have people reporting to you and your whole working life is about to change forever. Here

are few tips to avoid those common first-time manager mistakes.You are now bottom of new ladder Leadership requires a completely different skill-set to the one you required as subject matter expert. Never think that promotion is the end of your learning journey, it’s actually just the beginning.

Remember it’s never about you The old mentality of believing that team works to support the boss is outdated; the leader exists to ensure that their team has everything they need, direction, shared vision, skills and resources.



Accept that you will make mistakesNobody has ever started a new job and never made any mistakes. The big difference now is that your mistakes are likely to affect your team. Don’t beat yourself up, just apologise, learn from your mistakes and become a better leader.Hide your frustrations The days of moaning about the company or even worse moaning about colleagues are gone. You now represent the company so everything you say will be seen as a company statement regardless of its intent.Talk to your boss With a new job it’s likely you will have new boss. Talk to him or her and find out their expectations of you, how they want to be updated and what their priorities are for the company.Talk to your team Every one of your new team will have slightly different idea of what your role should be and what you should be doing. Talk to your team and find out what they expect from you and explain what you want from them. Lead by example Whatever is contained in the company’s code of conduct or the performance plans people will always learn what behaviour is acceptable by your actions. You have to demonstrate the behaviour you want from your team, if you don’t you will never be seen as a leader.Don’t change who you are The most common mistake that new managers make is that they try to become someone else or the kind of person they think a manager should be. One of the reasons you got this job is because you are you. By all means aim to be a better person but don’t deviate too far from who you really are.





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I run workshops in which people learn what it takes to become an elite leader and at every workshop there is always a moment of great sadness. That moment comes when I ask people to describe the qualities of a great leader and none of the qualities mentioned would be a great surprise to anyone but what is a surprise is when after they have listed all these admirable qualities of a leader, I ask the participants to raise their hands if they have ever worked with someone who possesses these qualities. The lack of

raised hands is a source of sadness for me. Too many people work for inefficient bosses, people who are poor Managers lacking leadership skills. Today people want to be led rather than managed and it is equally sad because there is no excuse for being a bad boss when all the skill sets of being a good leader can be learned given time and dedication.

HOW TO DEAL WITH A HORRIBLE BOSSBy Mark Wager




So how do you deal with a horrible boss?

Well the first thing to do is to think about how your horrible boss became a boss. You don’t find people going to work in order to do a bad job, it’s usually their skill set, their awareness and the environment that turns good people into bad bosses. The most common scenario I have encountered is when businesses need a new Manager they approach an internal subject matter expert who has been with an organisation quite a while. They do not consider the people skills required for the role or if they do they assume that this will easily be picked up. They then hire a subject matter expert and provide them with little or no training for the people skills required in their new role. You often hear “They’ve been here a while and they know their stuff” and at the beginning things seem fine but as time goes on, issues occur and cracks in the team start to appear and with no skill set or support to fix those cracks, people leave, either members of the team or the bosses themselves. Someone who was only recently a highly valued subject matter expert has left. The company loses, the team loses and the boss loses.

Imagine you are the horrible boss, you are doing your job just fine and then you are offered a great opportunity to now become the boss, more money more responsibility, who would say no? You then start the job and now people management is involved and now you have skills that are being tested such as conflict management, motivation, communication that weren’t tested to the same degree previously and with little training or support it’s no wonder that you

could potentially be setting yourself up to fail. A good person suddenly becomes a bad boss, the person who used to be the go-too for knowledge person now hordes that knowledge and micro-manages in order to retain that level of importance. As a team member how do you deal with this? Here are a few things to remind yourself.

Your company doesn’t want horrible bosses, really they don’t.

One of the main reasons for people leaving an organisation is their relationship with their immediate boss. Its difficult to remain motivated and happy when you have a poor boss and when an opportunity to move presents itself, it's not a surprise that people leave. It can cost a company anything up to 50% of a person’s annual salary, in order to replace an employee especially when you consider all factors such as the recruitment costs, the time it takes to recruit, the lost productivity of the people who are doing the recruiting and the productivity lost during the time that it takes for the new employee to get up to speed. Now think about the staff who don’t leave but are demoralised, just imagine what they could contribute if they were fully engaged with the business, what ideas are just sitting there untapped. Horrible bosses are bad for business.




You are responsible for your happiness, not your boss.

It’s difficult to be positive when you are in a work environment that you are not enjoying but your mood is not your bosses fault, it’s yours. Yes your boss is certainly influencing your mood but you and no one else is deciding how you react to situations. It’s difficult, trust me, I know it’s difficult but only you can control how you feel. In the morning you have a choice to either be positive or negative so ask yourself which emotion is more likely to get you what you want in life, is it being positive or being negative? The answer is simple.

Establish clarity

A clear sign of a horrible boss is that they are not clear. Their communication is muddled and confusing they tell you to do something, you do it only to find that they then criticise you for doing what they told you to do. When you are given a task ensure that you clarify what is required from you “just so I’m clear you want me to do X by Y time” Horrible bosses as a rule lack self-awareness, so they won’t realise they are poor communicators, they will just assume that you didn’t understand instructions and it’s you and not them that’s doing a poor job.

Offer feedback

Some of you reading this will cringe at the thought of giving your boss feedback. If done correctly this can be incredibly beneficial for both parties. The majority of horrible bosses do not

consider themselves to be one, they usually consider themselves hardworking but they have a difficult team or difficult members who are part of a competent team. Bosses get less feedback on a daily basis than team members. When a boss does something wrong unless it has a major impact they are unlikely to be aware of their mistake especially if they have poor self-awareness, yet if a staff member does something wrong there’s usually people queued up to tell them the error of their ways. When offering feedback there’s a few vital things to remember. Firstly offer rather than just provide, the boss needs to want to hear it otherwise they will just view it as whinging. Secondly stick to behaviours rather than judgments of those actions. It’s easy to debate a judgement such as “you’re rude” and judgements generate emotion which is not always helpful yet if you focus on a specific action such as “you called me …” and then you can link it to how that made you feel “that made me feel…”. The other thing to remember is to give people the benefit of the doubt. The vast majority of HR issues that I’ve had to dealt with during years as a Manager have been down to miscommunication. Even if you have one of those rare circumstances that the behaviour is intentional, then by giving them a way out by saying “I’m sure this wasn’t your intention but when you …. I feel ….” You are likely to get the result you want which is for the behaviour not to be repeated.




Suggest a team building workshop/event.

When I facilitate a team building workshop the Manager takes away as much as the team members do, their awareness is tested and they get to reflect in a way that is difficult to do at work. For the team members it also allows them to see their boss in a different light and realise that deep down that a horrible boss is just someone who’s trying to do the right thing but is failing. I get many calls from bosses who are struggling and from team members who are on the brink of quitting and honestly and thankfully I

can say that so far I’ve managed to help everyone who’s contacted me. If people really want to be successful, regardless of where they currently stand on the ladder of success, they can always be helped to the next step on their journey to becoming an elite leader.




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We know that something has to be said, whether it’s a staff member consistently coming in late or your partner is annoying you. While we are building up the courage to discuss the matter the issue is also building inside us. We are worried about how the person is going to react. Are we going to make things worse? Until we get to the stage that the moment has passed and now it feels too late to raise the issue. Sounds familiar? If so then read on.

The biggest problem is that people find it difficult to fully understand that other people may see the world in a different way to themselves and what we see as a problem other people may see as something insignificant. The best way to approach this is to follow five simple steps.

HAVING THAT DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONBy Mark Wager




Step one – be honest with yourself

If you lie to people you lose your friends yet if you lie to yourself you lose any chance of meeting the person you were meant to become.

When you ask yourself why you are not having that difficult conversation the chances are you are lying to yourself. Many people find themselves in a situation that they go to great lengths to rationalise the reason why they are not having that difficult situation. It is not unusual that the rationalisation revolves around the other person e.g. I don’t want to upset them, but the undeniable truth is that the real reason why you are not having the conversation is a purely selfish one. People are usually afraid to have these conversations because they imagine the worst possible outcome. There is only way to guarantee a bad outcome and that is to continue to avoid the conversation.

Step two – take ownership of the issue

Take ownership of the areas of your life that you are not happy with and you will be surprised with the power that you possess to control your own destiny.

The brutal truth about life is that if you are not happy with a situation then the only person who can remedy that situation is yourself. You will be amazed how different the world looks if you take ownership of every aspect of your life and also incredibly empowering. I remember once after a break-up with a girlfriend I was moaning about her lack of honesty and integrity and how similar she was to my girlfriend before. In the middle

of my rant a friend said to me “Why do you allow these type of people in your life?” suddenly my focus changed and instead of blaming other people I realised that I had a share of the blame and the solution was completely within my control. Take ownership of the areas of your life that you are not happy with and you will be surprised with the power that you possess to control your destiny.

Step three – don’t assume the other person’s intentions

We all see the world through different eyes. One person’s hell is another’s paradise. Despite our obvious similarities our differences are too numerous to mention

A common trait I find in new Managers is that they always seem to assume the intentions of a staff member before they have a difficult conversation. The problem with this is that the conversation quickly turns towards debating the assumption rather than the issue itself. For example a staff member regularly comes to work late, the Manager starts the conversation by saying he/she wants to discuss the staff member’s slack attitude then the conversation is easily escalated because the manager is assuming the reason for lateness is because of a slack attitude. It may well be but if you assume this without allowing the employee to comment then you are making a sensible discussion about timekeeping much more difficult. Explain the situation and your concerns and allow the other person to explain how they see the situation and in my experience you will be often surprised by the reaction.




“Take ownership of the areas of your life that you are not happy with and you will be surprised with the power that you possess to control your own destiny."




Step four – explain the problem

It’s difficult for people to change until they understand the impact of their actions

Once you have explained the situation then go into detail about what problems this causes. You will often find that the person hadn’t considered your point of view. If this doesn’t work then be more direct by asking them to put themselves in your situation. This is a delicate stage of the conversation and it’s vital not to lose your temper or show signs of disappointment. Trying to see the situation through a different person’s point of view is difficult and can take time so remember if they could do that easily then you wouldn’t be having this conversation in the first place.

Step five – work together to find a solution

Take ownership of the problem but share ownership of the solution

Once both parties share the same understanding then a solution can be put into place and the key to finding a lasting solution is three-

fold. Firstly do not discount anything despite how bizarre the idea may be, some of the most innovative ideas in history have come from an original idea that was originally perceived as bizarre. Secondly have clear expectations of what will happen if the matter is not resolved. Make this path clear so everyone knows what is at stake and finally confirm who is responsible for what when discussing the actions required when remedying the situation.

Every path in life is difficult but having the courage to confront difficult situations will open up pathways that you never conceived possible.

Best of luck and carry on talking

“It’s difficult for people to change until they understand the impact of their actions."



I was asked an interesting question last week at a leadership workshop that I was delivering. The question was whether you should actually sweat the "small stuff." The gentleman who asked the question explained that he was reading two books, both by successful people and in one book, the author said that you should forget the small stuff and only concentrate on the main "big ticket" items, the main activities that will make a difference yet the other book went into detail about how the small stuff is vital to being successful and how we address this so called “small stuff” can be the difference between success and failure. So which one is correct. To achieve success should you sweat the small stuff or not?

The short answer is that both of them are correct. Whether you focus on the “small stuff” or focus on the “big ticket” items both are contributing factors to success, however its all about timing and knowing when to use the small stuff and when to use the big ticket items. Even though these are often seen as opposing philosophies and unfortunately are implemented as such, in reality they are different views taken from different stages of success. The real success comes when you master the art of handling both. Your journey to success whether it's individual or team success needs to start with focussing on the select few items that

will produce the biggest results. Once you reach a certain level of success then the focus needs to be on the small items that others may perceive them as trivial. Let me explain further.

Big ticket items

At the beginning of your journey towards success, whether it’s an individual goal or a team goal, you are faced with a huge problem. That problem is - there are not enough hours in the day to achieve everything you want to achieve. Yes you can work longer hours and yes you can even work smarter but no matter what you do time will always be limited. You can’t increase time, even by working longer hours. You are often reducing your efficiency. The longer hours you work, the less efficient you become. What you have to do is focus on the two-three activities that will make the biggest difference and by focus I mean really focus. Shut out everything else and make these three activities work.

SHOULD YOU SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF?By Mark Wager





The transition

Once these three activities are working then it’s time to switch focus to marginal gains but with this transition, timing is the key. It’s common to see people start switching their focus to the small stuff too early and the main areas of their business suffer as a result. This can commonly happen because the focus on small stuff is not because of wanting marginal gains it’s because it’s an easy and effective method of distracting themselves from difficulties they have in their lives. This distraction is amazingly effective because the small stuff grants the struggling leader what they most want and that is control. Have you seen people who are struggling with results and when you talk to them they seem to be obsessed with what you may see as trivial? They have lost control and are seeking that control wherever they can find it. Alternatively if you switch your focus too late then you will lose productivity as you plateau at the good but not great level and you never reach the highest levels.

Marginal gains

At the highest level of performance the difference between winning and losing is very marginal and sometimes this can mean finding that small difference in behaviour that could give you the edge. In Formula One in most laps the difference between the fastest car and the rest can be less than a second. The leading Formula One racing team is Red Bull Racing, and

during a typical five month season they will make 30,000 changes to the design of their car. Each and every change is with the intent to make a marginal difference knowing that even if the change is just a fraction of a percent it may be that tiny difference that ends up the difference between winning and losing, succeeding and failing. At this level nothing is trivial.

So when people talk about the key to success and one person says that it’s about not sweating the small stuff and someone else says that an obsessive attention to detail is the way ahead, just remember that they are both correct. At the start focus on the main 2-3 big ticket items. During this time if you get the main elements right the small stuff takes care of itself until you are about 90% of the way there. Then switch focus to the small ticket items, the marginal gains. Do this and you will find that you will achieve the success you wanted.

‘Winning the Ruby World Cup was not about doing one thing 100% better, but about doing 100 things 1% better” – Sir Clive Woodward




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Elite Leadership Development Issue 2