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Exploring Gender-Based Communication Styles

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Page 1: Exploring Gender-Based Communication Styles

Teaching Techniques

Exploring Gender-Based Communication Styles Tammy James, Bethann Cinelli

ommunication is defined as transmitting information C and meaning from one individual to another.’ Although the transmission of information may seem a simple task, interpretation of the meaning often presents a true chal- lenge to relationships. Communication proves effective only when both parties openly and honesty share informa- tion, and accurately grasp a message’s meaning. Effective communication is important to health and essential for positive relationships. An individual’s ability to communi- cate directly affects self-esteem, stress levels, and quality of relationships.

The communication process, whether verbal or nonver- bal, involves a sender and a receiver. The process includes five parts: the sender has an idea, the sender encodes a message, a channel carries the message, a receiver decodes the message, and the receiver sends feedback about the message.’ Many barriers can affect the communication process, including inconsistent verbal and nonverbal messages, ineffective listening skills, personal bias, resis- tance to change, distractions, time limitations, personal assumptions, and differences in age, gender, race, religion, and culture. In addition to these common barriers, specific barriers also arise from gender differences in communica- tion style.’

Men and women often show dissatisfaction with each other’s communication style. Gender plays a powerful role in communication style and interpretation of messages between males and females. These differences in communi- cation style make communication confusing and can lead to miscommunication and misinterpretation of the message. The way men and women are raised contributes to differ- ences in conversation and communication, so miscommuni- cation among males and females often occurs.? Helping students recognize communication differences between the genders can help improve communication. Providing youth with an opportunity to explore, recognize, and discuss communication styles helps to develop strategies to bridge gaps in comm~nication.~ Students should recognize that misunderstandings can contribute to ineffective communi- cation between people trying to express their feelings and ideas in a relati~nship.~

To develop effective communication as an essential skill for a healthy lifestyle, youth should recognize ways in which men and women differ, and how these differences affect the ability to cornmuni~ate.~

Tammy James, PhD, CHES; ([email protected]); Associate Professor; and Bethann Cinelli, DEd; ([email protected]): Professor; Health Education, Dept. of Health, Health Sciences Center , West Chester University, West Chester, PA 19383. This article was submitted July 9 , 2002, and accepted for publication November 12,2002.

Communication Between the Genders

Following completion of the lesson, students will be able to:

1) describe differences in communication style based on gender.

2) accept the need for open and honest communication in relationships.

3 ) explore personal interpretations and perceptions of communication differences based on gender.

4) recognize potential problems that occur in relation- ships from misinterpretation and miscommunication between the genders.

Ask each student to keep a journal and record both posi- tive and negative experiences related to communication in their relationships. Students can record an event, then describe perceptions of the intent of the message (verbal and nonverbal), reaction to the message, description of the interpretation, and strategies to strengthen effective communication in the relationship.

Assign students to one of two groups based on gender. Provide each student with a 3“ x 5“ index card for prepar- ing questions. Use large sheets of paper to record questions and student responses.

1) Arrange the class with all males and all females sitting on opposite sides of the room. Explain to the students that each side of the room represents a panel of “experts” in the area of male and female communication.

Journal of School Health January 2003, Vol. 73, No. 1 41

Page 2: Exploring Gender-Based Communication Styles

The panel format provides an opportunity for students to ask questions of each group, which helps clarify miscon- ceptions and misinterpretations of actions and words.

2) Ask each group to form a small circle to facilitate group discussion. Provide a 5“ x 7” blank index card for each student in class. Explain to the students that they will use these cards to record key questions posed to the “expert” panel of the other gender.

3) Ask each of the two groups to create a list of 5 to 10 typical questions or comments, actions or behaviors, or situations about which they wish to seek the perspective of the other gender.

4) Tell both groups that questions the teacher deems inappropriate, disrespectful, or offensive will be discarded from the activity.

5) Each group selects a recorder. Provide enough time for each group to brainstorm, discuss, and reach a consen- sus about the 5 to 10 key questions to pose to the other gender panel.

6 ) Collect the questions from both groups. Ask students to form a line with their desks so female and male students face each other across the room in a panel-type format.

7) Alternate asking questions of each “expert” panel. After questions are posed to an expert panel, students must raise their hands if they wish to respond to the questions. Sample questions include:

Why do girls say one thing and mean another? Why so much contradiction?

Why do girls take Valentine’s Day so seriously? Why do girls go to the bathroom in groups? Who should be in charge of the household? Why d o guys have a problem showing their true

Do guys have serious conversations about love? Why do guys change their attitude and personality when

What does commitment mean to you? What is the biggest problem that guys face in a relation-

emotions in front of girls?

they are around their friends?

ship?

As part of processing the activity, the teacher might pose the following questions for students to consider and discuss:

What one thing about other gender did you learn today that helped you understand them better?

What have you learned today that will help you improve your communication style in your relationships?

What do you think creates the greatest barrier to effec- tive communication between guys and girls?

What one comment would you like to share that facili- tates open, honest, and effective communication between guys and girls?

Many difficulties encountered in relationships result from miscommunication and confusion regarding messages (both verbal and nonverbal) sent by males and females. This learning activity provides an opportunity for students to practice their self-disclosure, listening, and speaking skills in a nonthreatening situation. This activity enhances three basic communication skills: 1) Self-disclosure. Students ask each other questions regarding gender-based communication. 2) Listening. Students listen to the concerns of their peers. 3) Feedback. Students receive immediate feedback from the “panel of experts” regarding gender-based communication differences and issues.

Grades 9 - 12 as part of a family life or personal health unit, with emphasis on verbal communication and listening skills.

References 1 . Donatelle RJ, Davis LG. Access to Health. Allyn and Bacon; 1998. 2. Fetro J. Personal and Social Skills: Understanding and integrating

Competencies Across Health Content. Santa Cruz, Calif ETR Associates; 1992.

3. Insel PM, Roth WT. Core Concepts in Health. Mayfield Publishing; 1998.

4. National Collegiate Athletic Association. NCAA / Lifeskills Program: Interpersonal Student Workbook. Overland Park, Kan: NCAA, 1995.

42 8 Journal of School Health January 2003, Vol. 73, No. 1