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THE INDEPENDENT STUDENT NEWS ORGANIZATION AT THE UNIVERSITY OF CINCINNATI | WWW.NEWSRECORD.ORG
FEBRUARY 22 - FEBRUARY 29 | 2012
: UC NEWS IN BRIEF 3
THE END OF THE (SPORTS) WORLD
SEAM SCENE
GIVING UP LIBERTY FOR SAFETY 6 10 14
vsbattle for the beltway
barack obama
nation and world editor jason hoffman puts the presidential election into perspective
the gop
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EDITOR-IN-CHIEFARIEL CHEUNG
MANAGING EDITORSAM GREENE
BUSINESS & ADVERTISING MANAGERKELSEY PRICE
ASSISTANT BUSINESS MANAGERJARED HOWE
NEWS EDITORSANTHONY OROZCOSCOTT WINFIELD
SPORTS EDITORSSAM WEINBERGBRITTANY YORK
NATION & WORLD EDITORJASON HOFFMAN
ENTERTAINMENT EDITORKEITH BIERYGOLICK
PHOTO EDITORPATRICK STRANG
MULTIMEDIA EDITORBLAKE HAWK
CHIEF REPORTERJAMES SPRAGUE
CHIEF PHOTOGRAPHERANNA BENTLEY
DESIGNERSKATE DAVISGIN A. ANDO
PRODUCTION DESIGNERERIN HUNTER
CLASSIFIED MANAGERKATY SCHERER
ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVESMORGAN CHEUNGAMY ROGERS
509 AND 510 SWIFT HALLUNIVERSITY OF CINCINNATI45221-0135
OFFICE PHONE 556-5900OFFICE FAX 556-5922
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SPORTS
THE NEWS RECORDF O U N D E D I N 1 8 8 0
The News Record, an independent, student-run news organization of the University of Cincinnati’s Communication
Board, is printed during the school year every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday, except holidays and examination
periods, from its offi ce located in 509 Swift Hall and is distributed to the UC community. The News Record distributes to more than
80 locations and has a weekly circulation of 22,500. One copy per person is free. Additional copies can be picked up at The
News Record offi ce for $1.
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No more cat videos.
Like The News Record on Facebook.
ODD NEWS:Baba Budan’s “drive thru” A spread of our favorites3
NATION6 7The cost of safety 7
WORLDBurning the Quran
8-9COVER STORY
Battle for the beltway
The end of the (sports) world
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SPORTSRedemption on the diamond
ENTERTAINMENTHeartless Bastards in Kentucky
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Sleeping driver crashes into Baba Budan’s cafe
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ARIEL CHEUNG | EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
Three months after Jerusalem Restaurant exploded, another Clifton Heights restaurant was damaged when a car crashed into its facade early Monday morning.
Baba Budan’s Bearcat Cafe, located at 239 W. McMillan St., was pummeled by a car at approximately 4 a.m.
The driver fell asleep behind the wheel, according to reports.
The cafe is expected to reopen Wednesday after repairs are fi nished, at 3 p.m., said owner Tony Hamburg.
The intersection of McMillan Street and Clifton Avenue is a tricky one, Hamburg said,
and he’s been pushing city offi cials to create a barrier.
“I think a barrier would be great to have to shield pedestrians,” Hamburg said. “The comment we get is they don’t think it’ll be specifi cally appealing. And to me, to lose a UC student’s life don’t make sense, aesthetically appealing or not.”
The car crash happened just three months after the cafe’s next-door neighbor, Jerusalem Restaurant, exploded in what fi re offi cials have declared an act of arson.
Aiman Arabeiat, the owner of Jerusalem Restaurant, was indicted on two accounts of aggravated arson in November. His trial is scheduled for March 8.
The News Record will continue to update this story as more information becomes available.
PHOTO COURTESY OF CHRISTOPHER WELLS
NEXT IN LINE An unconscious motorist’s car crashed into the front of Baba Budan’s Bearcat Cafe early Monday morning, three months after neighboring Jerusalem Restaurant exploded.
NEWS BRIEFSMick and Mack’s Wine Tastingwhen 5 p.m. Thursday, March 1where Mick & Mack’s Contemporary Café
Wines sampled will include Taburno, Fidelis and Ciacci Toscano Dei Rosso di Montepulciano.
Along with fi ne wines, the event will feature hor d’oeuvres.Hors d’oeuvres include crispy spinach ravioli prosciutto and asparagus,
panini bella melone and grilled chicken piccata, vegetable manicotti and cioppino maple panna cotta with rum toffee sauce.
To RSVP, contact Mick & Mack’s at (513) 556-3653. Mick and Mac’s Wine Tastings include a sip of fi ve wines and hors d’oeuvres for $15 per person. Other wine selections are also available.
Must be 21 or older and present a valid ID to purchase and consume alcohol.
Student Employee of the Year Awardwhen Application due Wednesday Feb. 29 at noon Winners notifi ed by March 9 Award presentation Sunday, May 6where McMicken Commons
Established in 2007 by the staff of Campus Services, the Student Employee of the Year Award recognizes the most outstanding undergraduate students who fulfi ll the following criteria:
A cumulative university grade-point average of 3.0 or better, worked at least two years within the department, held a leadership position in the department (student lead/supervisor), carries a high level of responsibility and has excellent customer service skills. The nominee must show strong initiative, be an example of professionalism and have a graduation date in the 2011-12 school year. Application materials can be found at www.uc.edu/mainstreet.
Charles P. Taft Research Lecture Madness!when 2 p.m. Friday, Feb. 24where 608 Carl H. Lindner Hall, College of Business
on UC’s Main Campus
The Charles Phelps Taft Research Center and the UC Department of Economics are co-sponsoring a public policy and research lecture.Thomas DeLeire, Director of the La Follette School of Public Affairs at the University of Wisconsin, Madison, will discuss expansion of health insurance coverage to low-income childless adults and how this expansion affects the utilization of health care resources in this population.
DeLeire is a prolifi c researcher in labor and health economics as they intersect with public policy. He has served as a senior analyst at the Congressional Budget Offi ce and a senior economist for the Council of Economic Advisers.
INTERESTED IN:Being a journalist gets you as close to the action without being arrested as you can get! Email [email protected] to get started with the News Desk.
CAR CRASHESEXPLOSIONSDEATHMONEY??
ODD NEWS4
Buried under snow, man laid dormant since mid-December
Heart Attack Grill lives up to name
Tuesday Feb. 14What: Criminal mischiefWhen: 3 p.m.Where: 265 Albert Sabin WayNo arrests made
Wednesday, Feb. 15What: Sexual impositionWhen: 6:30 p.m.Where: 47 Corry DriveAn incident of sexual imposition occurred in Edwards 1 on Wednesday, Feb. 15. A black male grabbed at the victim’s buttocks as she was exiting an elevator in that building. The subject is described as wearing a gray sweat jacket
with hoodie and gray pants. No arrests made
Thursday Feb. 16What: AssaultWhen: 12:40 a.m.Where: 3525 Clifton Ave.Suspect arrested
What: Theft from buildingsWhen: 10:10 p.m.Where: 2820 Bearcat WayNo arrests made
Friday Feb. 17What: Robbery When: 8:14 p.m.Where: Clinic Drive, East CampusThe UCPD and Cincinnati Police are investigating a robbery that occured Friday, Feb. 17. A woman was robbed at knifepoint on Clinic drive. The suspect is a black male, from 5-feet, 10-inches to 6-feet tall, of medium build and weighing about 230 lbs., clean shaven and between the ages of 30-39. A purse was taken during the robbery. The victim had minor injuries and was seen at University Hospital. No arrests made
Sunday Feb. 19What: Criminal mischiefWhen: AfternoonWhere: Calhoun Hall UC Police are investigating an incident of ethnic intimidation and criminal mischief which occurred at Calhoun Hall on Sunday. A group of male white subjects were observed giggling outside the victim’s room door. When the victim went to the door, the suspects ran. The victim discovered racially and sexually abusive language and pictures on the door. The victim described one of the subjects as skinny, wearing a dark gray fleece shirt.
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erKelSea DaulTon | TNR CoNTRibuToR
What is seen on PeopleOfWalmart.com doesn’t compare to what customers and employees of a Wal-Mart in Exton, Pa. witnessed Feb. 15.
The store’s employees called police at 5:30 p.m. after recovering from the shock of seeing 32-year-old Verdon Lamont Taylor, of the 100 block of East Church Street in Downingtown, Pa., enter the store completely nude.
Surveillance videos captured Taylor removing his clothes in the parking lot of the store before entering and proceeding to clear a path through the startled customers to the customer service desk.
Once at the desk, he found a bag, withdrew a pair of socks, and put them on. Video footage of the incident shows customers that appear to be torn between fleeing from Taylor, who stands at 6-feet, 4-inches and weighs 300 pounds, and standing rooted to the spot to watch the bizarre spectacle.
Authorities used a stun gun on Taylor after he resisted arrest and spat in an officer’s face.
Taylor has been charged with indecent exposure, aggravated assault, simple assault, retail theft,
receiving stolen property and disorderly conduct. Investigators have reported their belief that
Taylor was under the influence of drugs. He is detained at Chester County Prison on a
$50,000 cash bail.
naTalya DaouD | TNR CoNTRibuToR
The Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas — known for its unhealthy and fatty foods — might have lived up to its name when one hungry customers was hospitalized after experiencing heart attack-like symptoms.
The grill serves four types of burgers: the Single Bypass Burger, the Double Bypass Burger, the Triple Bypass Burger and the Quadruple Bypass Burger. The grill also serves “flatliner” fries instead of a salad bar, non-diet soft drinks and alcohol.
The prescriptions (burgers) are served by waiters and waitresses referred to as nurses and doctors.
The nurses and doctors refer to their customers as patients.
But the restaurant, where calories are posted on the menu and customers weighing more than 350 pounds eat free, doesn’t deter consumers from coming in and ordering.
Paramedics were called to the restaurant Sunday because one man — whose name was not released — was eating a Triple Bypass Burger when the owner, Jon Basso, noticed the man was having trouble eating. He was also shaking, sweating and could hardly talk, Basso said.
The man was taken away on a stretcher shortly after.
CourTeSy oF MCT CaMpuS
GraB your SoCKS A Downington, Pa. man was arrested after streaking through a Walmart store just to acquire a warm pair of socks.
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A 44-year-old man was rescued in Northern Sweden Friday by snowmobilers in a town near Umea after being trapped inside his car under several feet of snow since Dec. 19, 2011.
Rescue personnel said they thought Perter Skyllberg was in a car accident
until they saw movement inside the car. The man was found in the backseat
wrapped up in a sleeping bag. Skyllberg survived by eating snow and going into a dormant state.
Physician Stefan Branth said that Skyllberg’s dormant state is, “A bit like a bear that hibernates.”
“Humans can do that,” Branth said.
“He probably had a body temperature of around 31 degrees [Celsius], which the body adjusted to. Due to the low temperature, not much energy was used up.”
Why the man ended up in the snow is still unresolved, but some, such as his neighbor Magnus Jernberg, speculate his disappearance is due to the fact
he was considered a “loner” to the outside world.
“He had gotten into a lot of debt, and he couldn’t pay his bills, and then he just disappeared,” Jernberg said. “It was a bit of a joke for us. We said, ‘Oh, I think they just found Peter,’ and then it was Peter.”
man wearing birthday suit steals socks from Wal-mart
THE UC MEMES PAGE 5
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suBmiTTEd By: chRis hoRsFAll
suBmiTTEd By: chRis hoRsFAll
suBmiTTEd By: chRis hoRsFAll
suBmiTTEd By: chRis hoRsFAll
suBmiTTEd By: chRis hoRsFAll
suBmiTTEd By: cliNToN ciANi suBmiTTEd By: ERic KERNs
We have to admit, there is nothing like a good meme. For those of you who don’t know what a meme is, it’s defined by Urban Dictionary as, “An idea, belief or belief system, or pattern of behavior that spreads throughout a culture either vertically by cultural inheritance (as by parents to children) or horizontally by cultural acquisition (as by peers, information media and entertainment media).”
For those of you who fell asleep halfway through that definition, let’s put it in simpler terms: An Internet meme is one giant inside joke. Something a lot of people understand, often presented in a funny way. Like the typical College Freshman. The Scumbag known to some as Steve. The Success Kid.
Recently, college-specific memes have been springing up on Facebook, and when we saw the University of Cincinnati meme page, we knew it was time to take some action. We asked for your favorite memes, and here are the ones we got. Send more to [email protected], and we might print more of the best in a future issue.
suBmiT youR oWN mEmEs!
sENd youR BEsT uNivERsiTy oF ciNciNNATi mEmEs To:
ANd you mighT gET puBlishEd iN AN upcomiNg TNR EXTRA!
WiNNER:chRis hoRsFAll“ThEy cAN’T dRivE sTicK”
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JOHN SAMMON | SANTA CRUZ SENTINEL
1. SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — An expert on counter-terrorism intelligence gathering, in noting the mistakes that led to the Pearl Harbor and the 9/11 attacks, said Americans are safer today than they were, but at a cost of some personal liberties.
"I think we have moved toward greater security at the expense of liberty," said Erik Dahl, an assistant professor of national security at the Naval Postgraduate School in Monterey, Calif. "We have fewer civil liberties."
Dahl's comments came at a meeting of the Lutheran Women's Missionary League at the Messiah Lutheran Church in Santa Cruz, Calif., last week. He said increased airport security is one example of giving up personal freedom for greater safety.
"There is greater scrutiny," he said. "What concerns me is that law enforcement is looking at all of us more closely, and we don't know what it all entails."
For example, Dahl explained that the government has a "no-fly" list of people to prohibit from airlines. The list is secret.
"The passage of the Patriot Act made it easier for domestic surveillance, and the FBI has expanded what is called a National Security Letter," Dahl said. "This allows a subpoena where an agency can demand the records on a person, or a business and its customers, and the subpoena doesn't need to be signed by a judge. It doesn't have to go through the normal judicial process."
Dahl said this represents an increase in government power that most Americans are not aware of.
He also outlined the history of intelligence-gathering
lapses that led to the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor on Dec. 7, 1941, and the al-Qaida attacks on the World Trade Center on Sept. 11, 2001. Both disasters took place because intelligence gathering was insufficiently coordinated and characterized by a lack of imagination, he said.
"In these cases they didn't connect the dots," Dahl said.There were also eerie similarities in the lead-up to
both attacks.In the 1930s, war games exercises were held in
which U.S. military officers envisioned Japan as a likely aggressor. A report was also issued in January 1941, in which U.S. Navy personnel identified Pearl Harbor as a potential target for a Japanese strike.
In 1998, Richard Clarke, at the time an adviser on the National Security Council, envisioned a scenario in which a bomb-laden Lear jet piloted by terrorists might be nose-dived into a target in the U.S.
Osama bin Laden was also identified as a possible terrorist threat by intelligence gatherers in the summer of 2001, before the World Trade Center bombing.
"In both cases, action was not taken to stop them from happening," Dahl noted.
Since 9/11, Dahl said new offices and organizations have been created to combat terrorism, such as the Office of the Director of National Intelligence, the Department of Homeland Security, the National Counter Terrorism Center and a network of intelligence gathering offices called "fusion" centers. The nearest one in Northern California is located in San Francisco.
Dahl said the FBI and Joint Terrorism Task Force seem to be doing good work arresting terrorists in this
country before they carry out attacks."Most of these plots were foiled not by satellites
looking down from space or by Navy SEALs like the kind who got bin Laden, but by good old-fashioned policing using domestic informants and tips from the public," he said.
He said that while it's impossible to guarantee a terrorist attack won't take place, threats can be minimized by aggressive coordination and greater intelligence-sharing between agencies.
Olivier DOuliery | AbACA pRESSTerrOriSM AT HOMe FbI Joint Terrorism Task Force agents conduct a terrorism investigation at a house on Friday in Arlington, Va. The search is related to the arrest earlier in the day of a Moroccan man by the FbI who planned on a suicide attack on the U.S. Capitol.
BeN TOrreS | DALLAS MoRNINg NEwS
TerrOriSM AT HOMe Roberto Corona, right, a Hispanic community organizer who works with the Embrey Human Rights program at Southern Methodist University in Dallas, helps two day laborers to understand their rights as independent workers Feb. 2 outside The willows apartments near a Home Depot in Irving, Texas. They wanted to be identified by their first names only, and both gave Jose as their first name.
BOB HAlliNeN | ANCHoRAgE DAILy NEwS
TerrOriSM AT HOMe James Koenig, father of Samantha Koenig, and Shirley Koenig hold a candle during a vigil for his daughter at Town Square park on Feb. 11 in Anchorage, Alaska. police say an armed man forced Koenig out of the Midtown Coffee Hut where she was working Feb 1.
US safer, but at cost of personal liberties
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ali safi | mcclatchy newspapers
1. KABUL, Afghanistan — The commander of U.S.-led international forces in Afghanistan apologized Tuesday after reports that American troops at Bagram Air Base had accidentally burned hundreds of copies of the Quran, sparking outrage among Afghans.
"I offer my sincere apologies for any offense this may have caused, to the president of Afghanistan, the government ... of Afghanistan, and most importantly, to the noble people of Afghanistan," Marine Gen. John R. Allen said in a statement.
The burning of the Quran and other Islamic religious materials sparked tense scenes at Bagram Air Base, a major coalition facility about 40 miles north of Kabul.
Ahmad Zaki Zahid, the head of
the Parwan provincial council, said that around 1,200 Afghans gathered outside the base Tuesday morning to protest. A provincial delegation met with U.S. officials at the base to discuss the incident.
"We retrieved more than 80 half-burned Qurans," Zahid said.
It wasn't immediately clear why U.S. personnel had burned copies of the Quran. Allen said the religious materials "were inadvertently taken to an incineration facility at Bagram airfield."
"When we learned of these actions, we immediately intervened and stopped them," Allen said. "The materials recovered will be properly handled by appropriate religious authorities."
Allen said he'd ordered an investigation, and had directed all coalition forces in Afghanistan to complete training in the proper
handling of religious materials no later than March 3. It was the latest embarrassing incident involving U.S. troops in Afghanistan, coming weeks after four Marines were shown in a video urinating on corpses, which also prompted swift apologies from American officials in Afghanistan and Washington.
Zahid warned that violent demonstrations were likely if the Afghan government and U.S. commanders didn't resolve the matter satisfactorily.
"We are trying to solve the issue in a peaceful way," Zahid said. "If those who committed the acts are not arrested, we should expect more violent demonstrations throughout the country."
Safi is a McClatchy Newspapers special correspondent. Nancy A. Youssef contributed to this report from Washington.
US officials apologize after troops burn Qurans
ahmad massoud | zuma press
BuRNiNG holY BooKs afghans throw stones at U.s. troops at the gate of Bagram airbase tuesday. hundreds of afghans gathered outside the base to protest the alleged burning of the Quran by U.s. troops. the U.s. commander of natO troops in afghanistan has apologized over reports that troops had “improperly disposed” of copies of the Quran.
Thomas EVaNs | CNN WIre
sYRiaN uNREsT CoNTiNuEs Opposition supporters in Zabadani, syria on sunday, Jan. 15. the United nations General assembly approved a resolution on Feb. 16 that rebukes assad’s militarized attacks on the uprising and supports an arab league proposal asking al-assad to resign and relinquish power. the resolution was favored by a 137-12 vote, but holds no power of enforcement — It is merely a symbolic majority disapproval of al-assad by the Un. Unrest has been ongoing since march 2011, when al-assad lifted a state of emergency that had been in place since his party seized control of the nation in 1963. reports out of syria have suggested that more than 7,000 have been killed and thousands others injured during the unrest. (Kelsea Daulton | The News Record)
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battle for the beltway
tale of the tapetuesday, nov. 6, 2012
pre-fight remarksJASON HOFFMAN | NATION & WORLD EDITOR
For the past four years, the Grand Old Party has been plotting and politicking to see if it will regain the White House from President Barack Obama and the Democrats.
With the battle underway and less than 10 months to go until these political heavyweights square off, here is what you need to know for “Super Tuesday”.
The race to be the Republican challenger has seen prospects come and go and has left only four men standing heading into the 9th round, which takes place in Michigan and Arizona Feb. 28.
Mitt Romney, the former Massachusetts governor, has been the odds-on favorite since the race’s inception. Massive super PAC spending and a strong political pedigree have helped him dismiss the likes of Michelle Bachmann, Rick Perry and Jon Huntsman like sparring partners for Muhammad Ali in the ’60s.
Rick Santorum, the most socially conservative man left in the race, has recently risen in not only national polls, but the Republican delegate count as well. Santorum, however, has come under fi re recently for his stance on contraceptives and his proclamation that sexual relations have no purpose beyond procreation.
Newt Gingrich, the GOP’s most accomplished politician came on strong as the fi ght ventured through the south, but has been searching for a second wind ever since taking some heavy shots in Colorado and Maine.
Ron Paul, the long-tenured Congressman from Texas, has fought his party’s establishment mentality and made him popular among independent and constitutionalist voters. Paul, although low on the delegate totem pole, vows to carry his fi ght all the way to the GOP convention in September no matter the odds.
Highly contentious issues are nothing new to presidential campaigns, but this race has seen radical shifts in everything from budgetary to foreign policy issues and everything in between.
All GOP candidates have said they will make it a priority to repeal the Affordable Care Act, commonly referred to as “Obamacare”, but for different reasons.
Similarly, each of the challengers claim they will cut government spending, but unlike his opponents, Paul says he will bring the military back home and get rid of the Department of Education to implement budgetary cuts.
The other three all claim they will cut spending, but will do so mostly through reform to government programs and further tax cuts to stimulate job growth.
The incumbent, President Barack Obama stands at the intersection of neither hope nor change — despite his
WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW:THE CHALLENGERS
WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW:THE CHAMP
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campaign message of four years ago.Unemployment still hovers above 8 percent,
Guantanamo Bay’s detention facility remains open, and the military is still engaged in operations throughout Afghanistan.
Still, the defending champion of the electoral college’s quadrennial title fi ght sits atop polls when pitted against a “generic GOP candidate” by as much as three points depending on who you listen to.
The fi ght for the Oval Offi ce will be, as Cincinnati Reds radio announcer Marty Brenneman says, “a titanic struggle” despite whatever the pundits tell you.
Many pundits think that Romney will probably take some body shots, but will prevail when the GOP Convention heads to Tampa, Fla. in September.
Here’s how I see it. Romney is an establishment guy who has paid his dues
and done pretty well for himself despite taking on all comers. In the end, the amount spent on his behalf by super PACs combined with his ability to stay moderate enough to avoid alienating the majority of voters will carry him into the ring against Obama.
Once he gets the nomination, it’s truly either man’s fi ght to win. Obama can pack a hefty punch if he is able to reinvigorate a base that carried him to easy victory against John McCain in his fi rst presidential candidacy. If Romney can energize the conservative right, it will be interesting to see who takes the crown in November.
Either way, it’s going to get bloody before the dust settles.
Ohio’s presidential primary takes place March 6, but if you haven’t yet registered, it’s too late to vote.
The general election takes place Nov. 6 to decide the next president. The registration deadline to vote is Oct. 6, and on Super Tuesday, the polls open at 6:30 a.m. and close at 7:30 p.m.
If you are an out-of-state student, you will need to either travel home to vote in the general election or register for an absentee ballot. Student identifi cation cards will not be accepted in Ohio for this election.
WHO WILL SQUARE OFF?
WHEN/WHERE IT HAPPENS
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RON PAUL
CURRENT REPUBLICAN DELEGATE COUNT
MITT ROMNEY
RICK SANTORUM
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NEWT GINGRICH 29
18According to The New York Times as of 2/21/12.
countdown to election day:
the undercard
national ballot support according to gallup
santorumromneygingrichpaul
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It’s just three months in to the new year, and already people are going on and on about the rumored end of the world that’s supposed to take place Dec. 21. Generally when the topic comes up, I’ll just look the other way and chalk it up to a bunch of conspiracy theorists trying to stir up some hype, or a bunch of lazy Mayans who just didn’t feel like making a calendar anymore.
Regardless, people are always trying to pinpoint signs of the apocalypse, looking at wars, natural disasters and public fi gures in power. If you want real signs of the apocalypse, however, look no further than the world of sports post-Jan. 1.
No. 1: Harvard is relevant in sports:Now how the hell did this happen? Harvard specializes in
two things: rejection letters and producing the learned doctors, philosophical thinkers and political leaders of tomorrow.
Lately though, they’ve also been graduating professional athletes — and not just rowers and polo players, either. First, Ryan Fitzpatrick created “Fitzmagic” in Buffalo, and now, Jeremy Lin has stirred up LIN[insert pun here] in New York. Both are starting players in professional sports, and both were Harvard economic students. If the world really is going to end Dec. 21, they should be plucked from the sporting world and bred like rabbits in some underground bunker to ensure the post-apocalyptic survivors are a race of gifted super children.
Also, for what it’s worth, it also looks like the Crimson men’s basketball team will get a higher seed than UC in March Madness this year — madness, indeed. As with all Ivy League schools, Harvard doesn’t offer athletic scholarships, so how they manage to stay competitive and snag a great 2012 recruiting class is beyond me.
No. 4: What’s considered a sport these days
This one’s a big one. Lets just set the record straight right off the bat: There are fi ve major sports, which include basketball, football, baseball (for the time being), hockey and European soccer — or “real” football if you want to be an ass about it. Those fi ve sports should be the only things covered on ESPN, because last time I checked, ESPN stood for Entertainment and Sports Programming Network, not Every Show on is Pathetic Nonsense. It seems like half the time I turn on ESPN, or one of its numerous stations, they’re showing something completely boring and irrelevant like bowling, darts or Skip Bayless. I pay for those stations, and I expect to see some real sports programming, not a hobby that I can watch the local drunkards
compete in at the corner pub. Enough with airing the National Spelling Bee — I don’t need to be reminded that there are kids half my age who can spell words I can’t even pronounce — and enough with showing the Little League World Series. Do I even need to make a Jerry Sandusky joke here?
Admittedly, SportsCenter is still pretty solid, but think about it — if they’re already showing bowling, darts and Colin Cowherd, what’s next? There was an article on Yahoo recently about some group trying to get Quidditch sanctioned as an offi cial NCAA sport. The fact that this was a front-page story is scary. The fact there are already leagues and a World Cup event is downright frightening. The day ESPN starts covering those games will be the day I give up on sports, and the world, for good.
No. 2: Mike Brown received Owner of the Year award from ProFootballTalk.com:
I don’t know what’s scarier — the fact that he won the award — or the fact that he might have actually deserved to win the award.
It’s no secret that Brown has been the farthest thing from his father since he took over the team — generally putting his own fi nancial interests above the team’s interest — but this season, Brown actually made some smart moves. He stayed true to his gut and got an amazing deal for Carson Palmer, fi red offensive coordinator Bob Bratkowski, drafted Andy Dalton and A.J. Green and even lowered the ticket prices — not a bad 2011 rap sheet. He also rehired Marvin Lewis, who’s now revered by Texans fans throughout the land for his questionable play calling in the AFC wildcard round, practically handing Houston its fi rst playoff victory in a nice, tiger-striped gift box.
5: Boston FansI don’t how what the Mayans, Nostradamus
or the various religions around the world specifi cally said would be the cause of our ultimate destruction, but I think it’s a safe bet that Boston fans are going to play a part in it. The Patriots have already stirred the embers
of hate with their second loss to the Giants in a Superbowl, and if the Red Sox fail to make the playoffs for a second-straight year, or if Mark Wahlberg comes out of the closet, the Boston faithful will have just the right amount of anger to show Vancouver how a real city riots.
No. 3: The Clippers are currently the best team in Los Angeles:
I never thought I would see the day, but sure as schnitzel, the Clippers are atop the Pacifi c West.
Granted, there’s plenty of time for that to change, but the combination of Chris Paul and Blake Griffi n is proving to be deadlier than the Lakers’ Black Mamba. As a die-hard Bearcats basketball fan, however, I like to tell myself that Kenyon Martin’s words of encouragement from the sideline have been the real game changer. Regardless, the Clippers appear to be poised for their fi rst playoff run since the 2005-06 season. This is happening in the same year that the Detroit Lions also went to the playoffs — a telltale sign of impending doom, according to most astronomers (likely Harvard grads). If the Pittsburgh Pirates are somehow in the NLCS this winter, I think we know it’s about time to stock up on essentials and head to the bunker.
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about the rumored end of the world that’s supposed to take place Dec. 21. Generally when the topic comes up, I’ll just look the other way and chalk it up to a bunch of conspiracy theorists trying to stir up some hype, or a bunch of lazy Mayans who just didn’t feel like making a calendar anymore.
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PHOTOS COURTESY OF MCT
SAM WEINBERG | SPORTS EDITOR
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Bearcats falter at Big East vs. Big Ten ChallengeThe University of Cincinnati men’s
baseball team didn’t start its 2012 season the way it planned.
The Bearcats left Clifton this past week en route to St. Petersburg, Fla., to take part in the annual Big East vs. Big Ten Challenge; but unfortunately for head coach Brian Cleary and theteam, the Florida sun did not provide as warm a welcome as they would have liked.
The Cats struggled to fi nd their groove at the plate and dropped all three of their games in the competition.
Cincinnati faced off against Indiana University in its season opener with right-hander Justin Strenge taking the mound for the start.
Following a scoreless fi rst inning for both teams, UC could not escape the top of the second unscathed, as a pair of walks with two outs in the inning set the stage for Indiana infi elder Chris Sujka to send a three-run homerun just over the left center fi eld wall.
The game remained quiet until the seventh inning, when the Hoosiers added
a fourth run to their tally on a Trace Knoblauch RBI single.
In the bottom half of the inning, UC fi nally found the scoreboard when freshman third baseman Joey Bielek walked and made it to second after senior Sam Vandenheuvel reached fi rst on an error to set up Matt Williams, who drove in UC’s fi rst run with an RBI groundout to the second baseman.
Jake Proctor then scored Vandenheuvel with an RBI single to right fi eld, and sophomore standout Justin Glass drove in Proctor with a two-out RBI double to left-center fi eld, making the score 4-3 Indiana.
Unfortunately for the Bearcats, their rally would end there, as Indiana capitalized on three UC errors in the top of the ninth to pad its lead by three more runs.
Proctor added another hit and RBI in the bottom of the ninth to fi nish 2-of-4 with two RBIs. Strenge took the loss for UC.
Just a few hours following the game against Indiana, the Cats were dealt their second setback of the day, as they were shut out 6-0 by Purdue.
Sophomore pitcher Matt Ring made his fi rst collegiate start for UC and lasted nearly six innings, allowing fi ve runs to take the loss.
Purdue righty Lance Breedlove frustrated the UC batters for the majority of the game, striking out 11 and allowing only three hits — one each for Justin Glass, Joey Bielek and sophomore second baseman Ryan Quinn.
Purdue was paced by senior outfi elder Andrew Dixon, who fi nished 4-4 with two RBI’s and a run scored.
In their fi nal game of the tournament, the Bearcats dropped a 5-3 decision to Penn State.
After building a 3-2 lead — made possible with an impressive 4-of-5 performance from infi elder Branden Kline and single RBIs from Nic Spence, Jake Saylor, and Ron Cotton — UC could not seal the victory.
After allowing three runs in the bottom of the eight, UC could not rally in its fi nal inning.
The Bearcats will look to get back on track this Friday when they travel to Winston-Salem, N.C. to participate in the Wake Forest Tournament.
FILE ART
UC’S SHAKY START The University of Cincinnati baseball team dropped all three games in the Big East vs. Big Ten Challenge to open its season.
What are your thoughts on ESPN’s “Chink in the Armor” headline?
What should the Colts do with their fi rst-round pick?
What is your all-time favorite sports movie?
Talk back on Twitter: @riverfrontkid
Jason Hoff manOpinion editor
Welp, let’s just say there are some new
job openings in sports journalism.
Are we talking about horse racing or some other sport
here?
“Teen Wolf”Editors’ Note: Wikipedia considers “Teen Wolf” a
sports movie.
Someone on the editorial desk should’ve stopped that.
Trade it and build up their otherwise terrible squad.
“Raging Bull” — Bobby D. at his violent best
portraying Jake Lamata.
ESPN is a terrible sports media outlet. Why don’t more people realize this?
They should draft a healthy runningback.
“Varsity Blues” — I don’t even care.
Off ensive — is there anything else to say about
it?
As a Texans fan, I think they should make history and
draft a punter.
Disney’s “Miracle” — it’s always a real pick-me-up to watch Kurt Russell get sour
on some Ruskies.
I don’t think it was intended, but it was dumb,
nonetheless.
Draft RGIII and let him learn under Peyton
Manning for a year or so.
“Major League” — without a doubt. “You
tryin’ to say Jesus Christ can’t hit a curveball?”
Who will be the better NFL quarterback, Andrew Luck or RGIII?
I couldn’t tell you, but I do like it that his name is Luck.
Sure ... not really.
RGIII, because he’s a smarter version of Cam Newton, and Luck is the
poor man’s Manning.
Didn’t they lose to some GCL team in a scrimmage?
RGIII, because Luck is the Jim Tressel of the
quarterback position.
If I still worked for the sports desk and covered baseball,
I’d be pumped.
Luck, because he’ll likely go to Indy, while RGIII will likely go to Cleveland —a career
death sentence.
I just bought my jersey and am waiting with baited breath for season tickets.
RGIII is more athletic, intelligent and mature.
Umm ... are they scrimmaging Elder?
How excited are you for UC baseball?
5 5on
@ScottJWinfi eld
Scott Winfi eldNews editor
Anthony OrozcoNews editor
@TNR_News_Mule
5@Cincy_scribe
James SpragueChief reporter
@samberg89
Sam WeinbergSports editor
BASEBALL
JOSH MILLER | STAFF REPORTER
Cats drop three-straight games to start season
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Dylan Mccartney | staff reporterOn Friday night, hometown garage-rock heroes
the Heartless Bastards returned to their roots for an exceptional performance at the Madison Theater in Covington, Ky.
The Heartless Bastards have maintained a loyal following in the Cincinnati area ever since Patrick Carney of the Black Keys originally signed them to Fat Possum Records in 2005.
Most of their concerts are met with acclaim from the audience, especially for the prowess of singer and guitarist, Erika Wennerstrom, and Friday night was no different.
The band began their set with “Marathon,” the opening track from their new album.
Wennerstrom filled the theater with her high-pitched blues vocals and clean guitar, while drummer Dave Colvin began the set with a pounding timpani beat. When Wennerstrom repeated the fitting line, “On this long way home,” nostalgia joined her guitar and vocals in theater’s air.
Throughout the elongated two-hour set, the band performed old favorites, such as the driving rock songs
“Witching Poo,” “Gray,” “The Mountain” and “Sway.” Most notable, however, was the strong performance
of their new material. While watching the band perform “Parted Ways,” the catchy and relaxed first single from “Arrow,” it became clear just how in synch the band was, both musically and otherwise.
The drum performance from Dave Colvin was exceptional, as he seamlessly glided from fill to fill. Bassist Jesse Ebaugh provided a solid low-end and guitarist Mark Nathan swayed casually into each melodic guitar solo.
The band continued to please the crowd throughout their set, at one point even pausing between songs to discuss their favorite Cincinnati chili, thank the crowd and detail the importance of the Queen City to them.
The band closed their set with a new song, “Down On the Canyon”, which they proclaimed to be “country-fried doom metal.” Upon ending, the audience roared, and a decent portion of the crowd left.
But those who stuck around were graced with an encore. When everyone rejoined the stage, the band played their hit, “All This Time,” with an incredible amount of vigor before closing the show with “Early
in the Morning.” The lights came on, and once again smiles permeated the crowd.
The Heartless Bastards will always have a home in Cincinnati, even now that they’ve become nationally recognized. We, as fans, will always be eagerly awaiting their next stop at home.
Cincy bastards woo Madison Theater
cOUrteSy OF big haSSle MeDia
cincy garage rOcKerS formed in Cincinnati, the Heartless Bastards came back home to perform.
THINGS TO DOTHIS WEEK
TREY SONGZ
YOUNG THE GIANT
D.R.U.G.S.
MORD FUSTANGS
THE DESCENDANTS
BULLHEAD
CHRONICLE
INTO THE WOODS
DAMNATION OF FAUST
GAELIC STORM
FEB 23: The Tony Award-winning comedic musical runs Feb. 23 through March 4 in the Patricia Corbett Theater in CCM Village.
FEB 23: Performing at the Aronoff Center with Big Sean. Show starts at 7:30 p.m. Tickets range from $49.50 to $69.50.
FEB 23: The Celtic band will perform at Bogart’s at 8 p.m. Tickets range from $18.50 to $22.
FEB 24: See the giants perform at the Madison Theater in Covington, Ky., with opening act Walk the Moon. Show starts at 8 p.m., tickets cost $15.
FEB 24: See this post-hardcore band live at Bogart’s at 8 p.m. with opening act Hit the Lights. Tickets cost $15 to $18.
FEB 25: Estonian producer hits the Bogart’s stage at 9 p.m. Tickets cost $18 to $20.
FEB 22: Catch this George Clooney-starring Oscar hopeful before it leaves theaters at the Esquire on 320 Ludlow Ave. The movie plays daily at 1:50 p.m., 4:40 p.m., 7:30 p.m. and 10:15 p.m.
FEB 24: This Academy Award nominee for Best Foreign Language Film is set to open up this Friday at the Esquire.
FEB 26: Have faux documentary films finally reached their limit? Playing at the Esquire every day at 1:30 p.m., 3:40 p.m., 5:40 p.m., 7:45 p.m. and 10 p.m., “Chronicle” suggests that they haven’t.
FEB 25: One-night-only performance that starts at 8 p.m. and is free to UC students. NEWSRECORD.ORG
For more calendar events, or to submit your own listing, check out our calendar @
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ALBUM ALERTBRAND NEW!!
The Big Pink infuses elements of ’80s Brit-punk, electronica and moving beats to capture an energetic sound.
There is less emphasis put on individual elements and far more put on collective song writing skills, which makes for incredibly catchy pop tunes.
Fans of the working-class roughness that bands like The Gas Light Anthem provide will really dig Howler’s sound.
The music isn’t particular flashy, nor is the recording particularly well done — but the sound is genuine.
The vocal work is fuzzy and out of pitch, consisting of mostly strained and hoarse shouts. With that being said, the vocals are really what make the band stand out.
Bleeding Heart Narrative’s “Bison EP” is slow and thoughtful with huge swirling melodic horns and short guitar hooks permeating throughout.
The lyrics are sparse; but don’t fret, most of the emphasis is on the variety of instruments, sounds and arrangements.
Think of the album as a finger painting, in the sense that what it lacks in details, it makes up for with interesting flaws.
After one listen, my only thought was: “This is Blink, but way better.” For Blink-182 purists, hear me out; “Chasm” is awesome.
There are definite punk overtones, but the album is a less abrasive than a typical Blink-182 album.
What’s immediately striking about Strange Vacation is their dueling vocals harmonies.
The band write great pop songs, and make them sound entirely unique.
The title track on “The Shoelaces EP” is outrageously catchy, incredibly well-crafted and really childish — in a good way. The Submarines employ the conflicting vocals of Blake Hazard and John Dragonetti, that creates a sort of juvenile freedom in their music.
Synthesizers, bouncy piano parts and a little guitar work dominate most of the tracks, making it a near perfect album that wouldn’t sound out of place at a Chuck E. Cheese.
For mellow listeners, “Black Light” presents an easy listen for musicians and coffee shop enthusiasts alike. A few tracks drop smooth beats worthy of shaking your hips, too, but largely the album is a fun listen for the ears.
Occasionally, the album loses itself in experimental whimsy, but Diagrams quickly redeem themselves with relatable melodies composed of everything from trumpets, tambourines, string quartets and small vocal ensembles.
The Big Pink – “Future This”
Howler – “America Give Up”
Diagrams – “Black Light”
Strange Vacation – “Chasm”
The Submarines – “The Shoelaces EP” Bleeding Heart Narrative — “Bison EP”
tom seiple | staff reporter
SEAM SCENEThis week is about the best in innovative combinations. It’s about making that crazy piece of clothing look awesome. Each of these ladies has incorporates a really standout and potentially diffi cult item into their outfi t in a super chic way. Casey rocks neon yellow tights, while Kiyana shows off her pink combat boots, and Andrea kicks it with a huge blue scarf. Take inspiration, Bearcats, from the way your classmates show off their personalities without looking nuts.
COLLEEN CELSOR | STAFF REPORTER
WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? Some thrifted jewelry, a thrifted orange shirt (“It’s huge, but I couldn’t pass on the color!”), a thrifted coat ... see the theme?
WHY THIS OUTFIT WORKS: Why lie, I know Andrea. We’re both fashion seniors. I wanted to do a style profi le on Andrea because she is really creative with the way she plays with silhouette, colors, and textures. Her chunky baby blue scarf is a great contrast to her oversized red shirt. As a redhead myself, I love seeing fellow gingers in red. To quote Jack Donaghy from “30 Rock”, “You’d think it would clash with her hair, but it doesn’t!” Her large gold necklace conjures up images of Indian royalty and somehow goes perfectly with the rest of her outfi t.
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Check out Colleen’s trend watch slideshow @
WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? Jacket from Macy’s, Lacy top from Forever 21, Bright Pink Doc Martens, Thrifted BagWHO IS YOUR BIGGEST STYLE INFLUENCE?My grandmother and my fashionable twin sister. FUN FACT:I am obsessed with pick up lines because they work. I use them everyday.WHY THIS OUTFIT WORKS: Kiyana mixes femininity and utilitarianism in this super styling outfi t. She wears a cute eyelet top with army pants and a menswear inspired blazer. Also, I love to see Doc Martens on cool girls. They are so practical and well made, but also super stylish — especially when they are bright pink! I love that the rest of Kiyana’s outfi t is a neutral mix or creams and army greens. Those neutrals call attention to her fantastic shoes.
CASEY METERthird-year fi ne arts student
WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? Rain boots from St. Vincent DePaul, tights unknown origin, hand-me-down skirt, sweater my mom gave me for Christmas, earrings were a secret Santa gift, bow came off a purse.
WHO OR WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST STYLE INFLUENCE?Three things: The thrift store, my mood and the weather.
FUN FACT:My favorite animal is a hippopotamus
WHY THIS OUTFIT WORKS: Casey does a great job of combining quirky and cool. Her outfi t reminds me of Rayanne in “My So-Called Life”, but more modern. I was originally drawn to this outfi t because of her bright yellow tights and orange bow. Every piece of Casey’s outfi t was a gift or from a thrift store. She proves that it’s possible to look great and be thrifty. I advocate for thrift shopping because it is cheaper and is environmentally friendly.
Looking for an apartment? www.ucapartments.com
Now available! 1, 2, and 3 bedroom apartments. Walk to UC. Newly renovated. www.ucapartments.com 513-300-0585.
Now renting for the fall. uc4rent.com. 513-621-7032.
5 Bedroom House for Rent. Great Location on quiet street; 2 Blocks from Campus. Home Security System, New windows, Doors, Furnace, and Deck. Many custom built-ins. 2547 Vestry Ave (one block behind Deaconess Hospital) Available for August 1st school year.Always rents quick. 508-4001, 309-3032
Now leasing for August. www.ucapartments.com.
SIX-BEDROOM, THREE-BATH, THREE-STORY HOUSE. Two blocks to campus. Just finished being COMPLETELY REMODELLED!! Eat-in kitchen with dishwasher, free laundry,
A/C, ceiling fans, window blinds, free parking, cats welcome free, available beginning August, $2095.00. Call Jeff at 513-379-5300. “[email protected]” No text messages, please.
SPECTACULAR SEVEN-BEDROOM, FOUR-BATH, THREE-STORY. Remodeled house, two blocks to campus, 16’x20’ hardwood living room with fireplace. 16’x24’ eat-in kitchen with dishwasher. BONUS COMPUTER ROOM. Free laundry, A/C, ceiling fans, window blinds, two-car garage +additional free parking, cats welcome free. Available beginning August. $2095.00. Call Jeff at 513-379-5300. “[email protected]” No text messages, please.
FOUR-BEDROOM, THREE-BATH HOUSE. Three blocks to campus. Beautiful new eat-in kitchen with dishwasher. Restored hardwood floors, free laundry, A/C, ceiling fans, window blinds, PRIVATE DECK! Free parking, cats welcome free, available beginning August. $1495.00. Call
Jeff at 513-379-5300. “[email protected]” No text messages, please.
FIVE-BEDROOM, THREE-BATH, THREE-STORY HOUSE. Three blocks to campus. Remodeled eat-in kitchen with dishwasher. Hardwood floors. Free laundry, A/C, ceiling fans, window blinds, free parking, cats welcome free. Available beginning August. $1695.00. Call Jeff at 513-379-5300. “[email protected]” No text messages, please.
Nice 1,2,3,4 bedroom houses and apartments, great locations, available August rental. Phone: 513-378-7919. www.qcr4rent.com.
*Great 1,2,3,4,5,6 bedrooms available for September. Call (513) 403-2678.
BARTENDING. $250/DAY POTENTIAL. No experience necessary, training provided. Call 1-800-965-6520 ext. 225.
$10-$13 Per Hour. 15-30 Hours Per Week. Paid canvass positions available for Democratic campaign. Contact [email protected]
We are currently looking for part-time reps for business to business phone sales. The position pays an hourly plus commission. Perfect opportunity for college students who may be looking for a flexible work schedule. Call Scott today to arrange an interview. 513-244-6542.
Keystone Bar & Grill is open in Hyde Park and we need hostesses. If you have an outgoing personality and thrive in a fast paced environment please apply at keystonebar.com or personally at 3384 Erie Ave in Hyde Park. Start immediately.
Keystone Bar & Grill has two locations: 313 Greenup St. Covington, KY and 3384 Erie Ave. Hyde Park. We are currently hiring servers for both locations. Apply at keystonebar.com or personally at
either location.
Play it Again Sports needs part time sales clerks. Flexible schedule, fun job. Call Mary at 310-3933.
Personal caregiver for intelligent, creative, active, physically disabled 54-year-old in Mason. No experience, flexible hours. Drivers license required. $10+/hour. 513-564-6999 ext. 88990.
FOR RENT FOR RENT FOR RENT
EMPLOYMENT
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CLASSIFIED ADS 11
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photos of the week
genderf*ck gallery
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