Feeding Virtuous Circles

Feeding Virtuous Circles 39

3. Feeding Virtuous Circles

From Creative Therapeutic Technique: Skills for the Art of Bringing Forth Change by Hillary Keeney and Bradford Keeney. Phoenix, AZ: Zeig, Tucker, & Theisen, Inc. (2013)

40 Creative Therapeutic Technique



When you start thinking in terms of circular patterns, you stop seeing

problems and more broadly see problem-solution circularity. Similarly, a solu-tion becomes processually reframed as solution-problem interaction. From a circular perspective, problems and solutions are the same—shorthand terms that point to an interaction. The more encompassing alternative to problem-solution circularities is an emphasis upon resourcefulness, or its interactional form of resourceful-nonresourceful (where the latter includes problem-solution interaction). A resource differs from a solution in that it simply contributes something positive to a person’s life. It is a source that feeds virtuous circles and beneficial change, however that is uniquely defined. A resource does not necessarily have anything to do with solving any kind of problem. The shift from problems-and-solutions to resources was previously proposed by Keeney and Ray (Ray & Keeney, 1993). Though easily missed, the distinction between a solution and resource makes a huge difference in therapeutic practice, for it delivers us from the vicious circles of problem-solution interaction and broad-ens the landscape of therapeutic change.

It is a paradigmatic leap to abandon the purpose of solving problems, fixing broken lives, and treating pathology. Unfortunately, therapists and clients too often share an attachment to the idea that a portion of their ex-perience can be fractionated, reified, and named as a problem, while another portion can be identified as a solution. It matters less whether a solution is indicated as attempted or fantasized, non-successful or successful, first or second order. In the same vein, it is relatively unimportant whether a prob-lem is an attempted problem or a first versus second-order problem, or a psy-



chological, relational, systemic, or cultural problem. All these framings tend to perpetuate vicious interactional circles, that is, they tend to be runaways that take their captives nowhere. Therapists and clients both need liberation from being caught inside a problem-solution world. An alternative context pays no attention to either problems or solutions, and instead has a strict focus on whatever arises that is resourceful. Imagine interrupting a client’s monologue on his personal misery and asking, “If you died tomorrow and an admirer presented your eulogy, what is the most wonderful thing about you that people will remember and celebrate?” Whatever the client says, utilize it to maintain a focus on the gifts, treasures, and resources of his life.

Perhaps the biggest secret in therapy is that a strict focus on resources, accompanied by no unnecessary attention given to problems or solutions, is the most transformative way to handle a client’s stuck life situation. Don’t just faithfully accept this proposal; try it in a session and discover what happens. Remember that you must feed the virtuous circle that emerges while starving any vicious circles. Once you get a circle of virtuosity moving, it becomes ef-fortless. It brings forth more expression and discourse that keeps its circularity moving. Notice that both vicious and virtuous circles work in the same way: they circulate whatever is fed into them. In this recirculation, an experiential reality is born and kept in existence. The question for therapy is which circle will you feed—a virtuous or vicious one.

In the following exercises, we encourage you to develop a nose that can smell resources. You must acquire the skill of noticing what metaphors and communication have promise for developing a resourceful context. The road to therapeutic mastery begins when you can smell a problem or solution theme while avoiding it, and concurrently smell a resourceful theme as you amplify and feed it. Without a nose that smells the death of problem-solution discourse and the life of resourceful possibilities, there is no chance of ther-apy being authentically therapeutic.

When you are able to discern resourcefulness, the next practice asks you to develop the skill of feeding it. Therapeutic change takes more than spot-lighting a resource; the latter must be fed in order to turn it into a virtuous circle that brings forth more resourceful expression. A client who says, “I



used to have a great curve ball when I was young” provides an invitation to expand upon the introduced metaphor. “Are you able to throw a curve and mix your pitches when you relate to your wife? Or do you only have a good fast ball?” Or another tact might ask, “A curve is the first step toward a circle. Have you ever thrown a boomerang? You throw it and it comes back to you. Do you throw successful boomerangs in your daily life, that is, do you do nice deeds that end up coming back to you with a well-earned return?”

Once you get a virtuous circle turning, it will bring forth more resources if you feed it a resourceful diet. No matter what resourceful theme is elicited, consider commenting, “That’s amazing! Why aren’t you bringing more of that into your life? What would it be like if you had more of that tonight?” Ask anything about a resource, including who else knows about it, when it started, why they think they have it, and so forth. Do so in the same ways other therapists express interest and curiosity about problems. Once inside a circle, any question or comment keeps the circle moving. The same skill that keeps a person stuck—whether it is a client or therapist—simply can be ap-plied to that which liberates a creative, resourceful life.

Finally, there will be times when you have a free association or fantasy about a resourceful direction to follow in a session. Trust these intuitions and express them, even if they make no sense. In the middle of a conversation, you can pause and say, “Excuse me, I am having an interesting intuition. I don’t know why I am asking this, but it came up. I trust these intuitions even when they may not make sense at first. Here’s what I want to ask without knowing why. Perhaps you will know. Did anyone in your family ever preach to a cat when they were a kid? Or tell a joke to a grasshopper? Or perhaps jump for a frog?” This kind of question exemplifies an “out-of-frame attrac-tor,” one that does not fit the ongoing conversation. These questions provide opportunities for the client to spring out of the present box and explore an-other direction, whether it directly or indirectly connects or disconnects.

The flow experience is another way of describing what it is like to be inside a virtuous circularity. Once this circle starts turning, clients and thera-pists both start saying things that move the case forward. A session moves toward being effortless and creative, without a map or strategy dictating



what should and should not be done. Seen this way, therapy should either stop or still vicious circles, while jump-starting virtuous circles in order to bring new interactional electricity and life into a session.

Though we have suggested that you must learn to smell both vicious and virtuous circles, it actually boils down to your being able to discern when a session comes to life. If a session smells, looks, sounds, or feels dead, it most likely is. If it springs to life, everyone will notice it. What is true for the theat-rical stage is true for the clinical stage of performance. Your job is to help a conversation wake up, come to life, and ignite the wheels of change to turn.

When you conceptualize therapy (and life) as a journey along a narra-tive plot line, it appears that we get from here to there—however these lo-cales are defined—one step at a time. It takes work to lift and move each step along the walk of lineal progression. But when you shift to the view of circu-larities that come to life when fed, you notice that it may spin itself into the ground, staying at the same place even as it moves, stuck in the problem-solution Tango. Or it will spin itself forward, moving along a trajectory with total ease. The fullest picture involves all perspectives, like Niels Bohr’s com-plementarity of particle and waves.5 Here progression along a lineal plot line occurs because of a turning circularity that moves along the trajectory.

Therapists can avoid setting themselves up to painstakingly plod along, one step at a time. The alternative is to activate a circularity that moves ef-fortlessly as long as it is fed your devoted attention. This is to say that you must serve the natural motion of resourceful change rather than play a part in the battering commotion of pathological framing. Re-conceptualize ther-apy as the feeding of virtuous circles—discerning them, initiating their move-ment, and keeping them well fed. This practice is partly the art of doing nothing, that is, getting out of the way once a virtuous circle starts to turn. Here knowing has less importance than saying no to anything that stops the realized presence of life. 5 Did you know that after Niels Bohr was awarded the Order of the Elephant by the Danish government, he designed his own coat of arms that featured the symbol of yin and yang. He added a Latin motto: contraria sunt complementa (“opposites are complementary”). Imagine that you will someday tell this historical fact to a colleague and then ask her whether Niels is yin or yang, and whether Bohr is yang or yin. Do so while handing them a picture of an elephant.



Motion often requires emotion so that change is actually felt. This body knowing is the embodiment of change. In other words, the movement of a virtuous circle is felt when enacted. There is exhilaration, an excitement that signals that something is happening. What is problematic about problem talk and solution talk is that it too often smells lifeless and uninspiring. It’s heavy, serious, and absent of the lighthearted play that signals creativity. Lighten up and the wheels of change will have a better chance of re-circulating life into a session. Introduce more play into your session so that work becomes trans-formed into the effortless motion of natural transformative change.

Practice: How to Smell a Resource

The exercise below can be done on your own or in a group. It is meant

to both assess and build your capacity to discern a resource in a session. From an ecological perspective of human experience, almost anything can be a resource, even that which is initially framed as a “problem” or source of suffering. A nose for smelling resources becomes more finely tuned once the fractionated, dualistic thinking of problem versus solution, strength versus weakness, negative versus positive, or pain versus joy is dissolved by entry into circularity; not just philosophically, but in real-time performance. The cost of abandoning our tidy categories—including letting go of any therapy model that presupposes what is or is not a resource for clients—is the open-ing of a whole universe of metaphors, expressions, and experiences that can feed virtuous circles. In fact, it’s arguably better to abandon too much talk of resources and instead focus on whatever has life in a session. Learn to discern what feels alive, versus what feels dead in your therapy. Feed that and the rest will follow.

Exercise: Discerning Resources

Below we provide a list of statements from actual therapy sessions. No background information on the cases will be given. This is because some-times a resource shows up in the therapeutic interaction that has no obvious or logical connection to the client’s reason for coming to therapy or even the



topic of discussion. This makes resources easy to miss if a therapist isn’t tuned to listen for them. Though you can elicit resourceful conversation, it’s also important to train your nose to expect the unexpected and sniff out the truffles buried in the dirt. In this exercise, imagine a client is saying these words to you in a session. Underline the words, metaphors, or expressions that offer up something potentially resourceful to work with. You can also do this in a group with the statements on a blackboard, and allow it to generate discussion:

“Whenever I get to the end of my rope with him and feel like I just can’t take it anymore, I just start singing a little hymn in my head.”

“That dog was the only thing getting me up in the morning. Now that he’s gone, I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“We’re just total opposites. I’m outgoing, he’s introverted. I’m liberal, and he’s more conservative. It’s always been that way but now it’s as if we are growing apart and can’t find that thing that brought us together.”

“Since my father died everything has fallen apart for me. I’ve totally un-raveled and I can’t seem to move on.”

“I write poetry.” “When he first started art school I used to pose for him for his sketches

all the time.” “We found a photo of ourselves where we are making the same exact

expression, and we don’t even look alike. Everyone who sees the photo no-tices it.”

“There’s also those owl dreams I keep having.” “I always seem to do things in threes. For example, if I make a sandwich,

it’s going to have three slices of turkey. I stir my coffee three times. I often look at the clock and there’s a number 3 in it. My family always teases me about it. So I went and got a tattoo of the number 3.”

“He spray-painted his bedroom door.” “I can make a mean pot of chili.” “My name is Hank but my wife has always called me Zeus.” “Things are tough at the moment but I know God has a plan for me.” “He’s always reading about psychology and analyzing everything I say.



It’s impossible to talk to him. It drives his father and me nuts and it gets us into arguments with him. The family calls him Einstein because he is so brainy.”

“I love her giggle.” “I used to be a dancer.” “I’ve always dreamed of going to Russia. I’ve always had a thing for Rus-

sia, but I’ve never been there. I read every book on Russian history that I can get my hands on.”

Some of the above resourceful expressions may seem more obvious than others. For example, anytime clients express their passion or talent for any-thing (cooking, dancing, sports, art, gardening, etc.) you have a resource that you can utilize. Remember, however, that even the more obvious resourceful metaphors may be buried in a mountain of problem talk. If you’re not paying attention, you might miss them. Examples of obvious, self-pronounced re-sources from the list above include:

“I write poetry.” “I can make a mean pot of chili.” “I used to be a dancer.” Sometimes a client can also present a behavior as a problem and the

therapist can instead draw out what is actually resourceful inside it. For exam-ple, in the case of Magmore (Keeney, 2009) referenced in Chapter One, when the mother cited Andy’s having spray-painted his bedroom door as evidence of bad behavior, Brad asked, “Hold it. Did he do a good job?” From this he uncovered a resource in Andy—his passion for and talent as an artist. The lat-ter sparked the virtuous circle that changed Andy’s life. Don’t be a reflecting mirror for clients’ entrenched discourse or stuck way of framing and relating to their experience. Instead, discern and utilize a resource even when the cli-ent is not doing so.

Sometimes clients express something unique about themselves or their experience that is relatively neutral—not obviously good or bad, just unique or interesting. Anything that smells like it has life in it is a potential resource. Whether it’s funny, quirky, odd, unusual, interesting, out-of-the-norm, or just seems to stand out in the client’s expression, know they are offering you



a resource that can spark and feed a virtuous circle. Examples from the above list include:

“We’re just total opposites. I’m outgoing, he’s introverted. I’m liberal, and he’s more conservative…”

“We found a photo of ourselves where we are making the same exact expression, and we don’t even look alike.”

“There’s also those owl dreams I keep having.” “I always seem to do things in threes… So I went and got a tattoo of the

number 3.” “…The family calls him Einstein because he is so brainy.” “I’ve always dreamed of going to Russia. I’ve always had a thing for Rus-


Clients may express something unique about themselves that they con-sider problematic, such as the statement above about being “total opposites.” This came from a session with a couple who felt they had drifted apart. It turned out that they embodied both ends of almost every spectrum one could imagine, from their exercise habits to their political beliefs. We utilized their metaphor of being opposites as a resource; amplifying what was alive and in-teresting about it rather than helping them solve it as if it were a problem. Paradoxically, they are the same couple that happened to have a photo of each other together making the same exact expression. This marked difference in their marriage—being total opposites who also possessed a mysterious same-ness captured on film—offered the key ingredient to make a sensationally re-source-rich recipe for change.

Even the way a client talks about her problem can be a resource. If a client speaks with passion and theatricality about her problem, you might ignore the problem content of her statement and instead utilize her ability to captivate an audience as a communication of something resourceful: “You just said that with such dynamic presence, like a classically trained stage ac-tress. Do you always express yourself with such dramatic flair?”

Anything that arises from or evokes the heart is a resource. This is also true when a client is grieving a loss:



“That dog was the only thing getting me up in the morning.” “Since my father died everything has fallen apart for me.” Whether it’s a dog or a parent, expressing the pain of loss is another way

of expressing a very strong love and connection. This kind of longing for someone or something you love is like a direct hookup to the heart. The death of a loved one is not a problem to be solved, nor is the longing for that person it brings. There are many ways to relate to this sadness that have nothing to do with “getting past it.” The resource inside grief is love.

Love is always a resource, even if a relationship is strained. If love or any kind of caring connection is expressed in a session indirectly or directly, whether for a person, pet, or even a country or city, then utilize it to feed a virtuous circle. We find this nicely illustrated in these examples:

“When he first started art school I used to pose for him for his sketches all the time.”

“My name is Hank but my wife has always called me Zeus.” “I love her giggle.” “I’ve always dreamed of going to Russia. I’ve always had a thing for Rus-


A client might also indicate that religion or spirituality is an important part of his or her life:

“…I just start singing a little hymn in my head.” “…I know that God has a plan for me.” “There’s also those owl dreams I keep having.” If clients express some kind of relationship to a “higher power,” whether

they call it God, gods, universe, holy mother, mystery, or some other name, then recognize and respect this as a resource in their lives. With the excep-tion of therapists who identify their practice as being tailored to a particular religious or spiritual tradition, too often therapists’ fear or discomfort of al-lowing spirituality or religion to enter the therapy room results in an enor-mous resource in clients’ lives remaining untapped. If a family says, “We rely on God to get us through tough times,” then find a way to respect and utilize a resource they feel is already working for them, independent of whether or



not you share their beliefs. When therapy is organized by improvisational performance rather than interpretation, you need not know a lot about an-other’s tradition or belief system in order to utilize their resourceful meta-phors and expression about it in a session.

Sometimes you’ll find that whatever is resourceful in a session doesn’t come from something spoken by clients, but by observing their interaction. For example, we once did a case with a mother and teenage daughter. The mother initiated the decision for them both to seek therapy because their rela-tionship had become strained and they were arguing often. We discovered during the first session that, despite the content of their expression being about frustration and discord, they laughed together and playfully teased one another quite often in the session. They also finished one another’s sentences and sat quite close on the couch. During a pause in the conversation one of us said with a hint of playful sarcasm, “Well, you two certainly appear to be a mother and daughter at each other’s throats and unable to get along.” Both mother and daughter erupted in laughter. Had we ignored their interaction and paid attention only to the narratives about their relationship, we would have undermined an equally valid truth about their experience that provided a resource for change.

Practice: Feeding Resourceful Discourse

Once you learn to smell a resource, the next step involves utilizing it in

order to initiate and feed a virtuous circle. In this exercise we build on the expressions listed in the previous section and practice different ways of utiliz-ing them to move the session from problem-saturated discourse to that which holds more possibility for creative change. One of the best exercises to build this skill is to invent your own exchanges, either in solo practice or in a role-play. In addition, practice discerning and utilizing resources in your therapy practice, whether it is with new clients or those you have been seeing for some time. Do so especially if your work with a client feels stalled. Keep experimenting until something comes alive in the interaction. Once it does, feed it and the session will take on a life of its own.



Exercise: Inventing Exchanges that Feed Resourceful Discourse.

Part 1: For each expression listed in the previous exercise, come up with five different responses that utilize and feed resourceful discourse (we offer two examples below). You are free to invent the clients and the context of the session. When we conduct this exercise in groups, we sometimes conduct a rapid-fire exercise where everyone gets the chance to play the part of the therapist and come up with at least one response to the client’s expression, without worrying about where to take the conversation next. This amplifies skills in the improvisational handling of resourceful frames and encourages therapists to take creative license with their responses.

Example 1: Client: My name is Hank but my wife has always called me Zeus. And now five possible responses:

1. Really? That’s extraordinary. In the history of all the couples we have worked with, we have never met a couple where the wife calls her husband, “Zeus.” There’s got to be an interesting story behind that.

2. I see I’ve been talking to the wrong person. I’ve heard from you and now I want to talk to Zeus. Let’s start all over. Zeus, it’s nice to meet you (get up out of your chair and shake his hand).

3. (Turning to the wife) That’s quite a name to give someone. With all the possible nicknames for a husband in the world, what makes him a Zeus and not something else?

4. (To the husband) I’m guessing you must have an equally interesting nickname for her as well, am I right?

5. No wonder you’re so up in the clouds! It makes sense that you’re curi-ous about staying grounded. But your wife is right; you sell yourself short. It’s time for you to take your rightful seat on the high ground. She’s known something about you all along that even you don’t see. Aren’t you lucky to have someone in your life who believes in you?

Discerning a resource is often easier than knowing how to utilize it in-



side an interaction in order to help a session take flight. The latter involves mastery of performance skills, including knowing how to deliver a line with authenticity and presence. Again, therapy is more than the words you speak; everything from your voice, to your facial expression, to your posture and especially your timing are part of the interaction. You must embody your own performance the way an actor fully becomes the character he performs. This invites and requires more of your authentic uniqueness to become part of your therapy.

Example 2. Client: Whenever I get to the end of my rope with him and feel like I just

can’t take it anymore, I just start singing a little hymn in my head. And now five possible responses:

1. My grandmother used to do that, too. Her favorite was “Pass Me Not Oh Gentle Savior.” (You sing the first line.) Which is your favorite? How does it go? (Here you are trying to actually bring the song into the room and get her to sing it.)

2. Does your son know that you do that? Do you ever sing it to him out loud.

3. You said earlier that you feel like God chose you to be able to get through this, though you’re not sure why. Now it’s clear: you know how, when times are at their toughest, to keep a song alive in your heart.

4. Who else knows this about you—that you have this special wisdom? 5. So you carry a song in your heart. Is the whole family this way? Does

your son have a song inside of him, too? You can think of a resourceful expression on the part of the client as a

doorway that appears out of thin air. Whether you regard it as an exit, en-trance, escape hatch, or gateway, it’s not enough to simply point to its pres-ence. You must turn the knob and open the door. This is what it means to feed resourceful discourse. You don’t know where it will lead. It may simply lead to another doorway, or seemingly lead nowhere, only to surprisingly



show you exactly where to go next. The interaction with the client will guide you. Sometimes the doorway is the opening to everything a client has ever been waiting for. Clients bring their unique gifts and treasures with them to therapy, but bringing them to life requires a special interaction with another.

Part 2. As soon as you have five possible responses that utilize a client’s resourceful expression, the next practice is to utilize whatever comes next to feed the turning of a virtuous circle in the session. Begin with one response, and then imagine at least two different possibilities for what the client might say in return. Our example: Client: My name is Hank but my wife has always called me Zeus. Therapist: (To the husband) I’m guessing you must have an equally interest-

ing nickname for her as well, am I right? Client Response 1: Yes, I call her Pineapple. Client Response 2: Nope. I don’t have a nickname for her. Client Response 3: Actually I have two. At home I call her Pineapple but when

we go out with friends I call her Iris.

Based on the client responses you come up with, invent an ensuing ex-change that feeds resourceful discourse. If the client responds, “Nope. I don’t have a nickname for her,” then utilize this communicated difference in their relationship—the fact that he has a nickname and hers is missing. You can ask, “Why not?” Or inquire as to whether he may have tried to give her one, but it didn’t stick. Ask if she wants one. Consider inviting the husband to act: “If you gave her a name, what would it be?” Perhaps ask his wife, “If he gave you a name, what would it be? Continue with, “Do you want more than one name? Or do you want one name at home and another name in public?”

You could send them home that week and give the husband the task of inventing the perfect nickname for her. Because nicknames are best when they are not purposefully contrived but arise spontaneously, you’ll have to discuss with them the best way to prepare the ground for the nickname to come forth naturally. You might suggest that each night before going to sleep she make a special drawing on a piece of paper. Perhaps it’s a message that says, “I love my new name” followed by a blank signature line that waits be-



ing filled in. Her husband is then instructed to sleep on it, wondering if it will deliver him the name in a dream. You might want him to place a pencil or pen under his pillow as well, so his dream can use it to fill in the blank.

Imagine the clients returning the next week and telling you that the husband did receive a name in a dream, but it wasn’t for his wife: “I heard a voice say, ‘Your therapist is missing a name. Go back and tell her that her name is Myrtle.’” At this point you almost fall out of your chair, not only be-cause Myrtle is the name you gave to a little wooden mask that hung on the wall in your grandparent’s beach cottage when you were a child, but because that week you had a dream as well. In that dream, a voice told you, “Zeus’s wife is not missing a name. Tell them to go to the river.” While you have no idea what that means, the couple’s mouths drop open. The wife says, “My grandmother just passed away last month. She left me her little cabin by the river. We were debating whether or not to keep it or sell it.”

What’s in a name? It could be the missing piece of a mystery that was waiting for an interesting couple and a creative therapist to dream each other a new direction. Yes, this sort of thing happens. And it is most likely to occur when you are far away from the problem-solution dumping ground, and fly-ing into unknown creative heights.

When inventing sessions that feed resourceful discourse, keep the struc-ture of a three-act play in mind. Remember you are helping the session move along a plot line from so-called impoverished frames to more resourceful ones. To get there, you must bring about a transitory middle act. If the client responds, “I call her Pineapple” or, “Actually I have two nicknames for her…” then you have something to work with to create the momentum for a virtu-ous circle. Go ahead and invent a few possible storyboards for the session, such as:

1. Distant Couple -------> 2. Magical Nicknames Waiting to Be Used ------>

3. The Adventures of Zeus and Pineapple 1. Constant Arguing ------>

2. A Marriage Missing a Magical Name -------> 3. The Couple that Nicknamed their Marriage.



You can ask anything about their names you can think of, including the story behind each, whether she likes her name, who else knows about the names, how long they’ve had these names, if it’s time for a new name, or does one prefer their nickname more than the other. Maybe there is a client wait-ing to be asked, “Do you think that ‘Nick’ is a good nickname for all nick-names?” Or another client might benefit from being told to go past individ-ual nicknames and instead come up with a special relational nickname for their marriage. Or a “nick-knack-name” if you want to catch them off guard. The latter would certainly include the possibility of hunting for a totem or knickknack that could inspire even more creative adventure in the session. Follow your nose and feed whatever line of conversation creates movement and momentum in the interaction.

Practice: Out-of-Frame Attractors

In the previous chapter we discussed “out-of-frame distractors” that can

help rescue a session that is drowning in problem talk. You have another op-tion, which is to utilize an “out-of-frame attractor.” If a session feels lifeless, boring, or caught in a vicious circle with no resourceful expression in sight, you can invite a more invigorating shift by stepping out of the habituated frame. An out-of-frame attractor is a question or statement that doesn’t fit the topic of conversation. You may take a metaphor already spoken by a cli-ent and place it in another more resourceful frame, or you can interrupt the current line of discourse with a different direction entirely. It all depends on what feels right in the moment. Keeping the three-act plot line in mind and following your nose for distinguishing vicious versus virtuous circles, practice inventing and using out-of-frame attractors in your therapy.

Exercise: Inventing and Practicing Out-of-Frame Attractors

In the following, we offer some examples of out-of-frame attractors. The best way to build this skill is in live sessions or in a role-play, because again, half the magic of an out-of-frame attractor is in the therapist’s delivery of the line. If you find it too challenging to start by inventing them live in a session,



then spend some time inventing them in private. Pretty soon you will de-velop the capacity to think and act out-of-frame in the real-time interaction of a session. Some examples:

“When was the last time you ate a tasty dessert?” “Which hand worries about your cancer more, your right or your left?” “When is the last time you moved the furniture around in your house?” “Has anyone in your family ever sent Santa Claus a Valentine’s Day

card?” Depending on how it feels in the moment, you can always build up to

your statement, easing its entry into the conversation by using the following: “This may seem out of the blue, but…” “A question just popped into my head. I’m not sure what it means, but if

it’s okay with you I’d like to ask it anyway…” “Here’s an interesting thought that just occurred to me. It may sound a

bit odd. What if you …” “Excuse me, I am having an interesting gut feeling. I don’t know why I

am asking this, but it came up inside of me. I trust these gut feelings even when they may not make sense at first. Here’s what I want to ask without knowing why. Perhaps you will know. Have you ever…”

When authentically voiced, these are all ways of building the anticipa-tion or drama of the moment. It can be equally dramatic, however, to simply ask a question or make a statement without foreshadowing that you are about to leap out of the box or jump tracks:

“What’s the most unusual thing that has ever happened to you?” (We interrupted a client and asked this right out of the blue during his mono-logue about some other topic. It turned out he had had something very un-usual happen to him. It broke open the case.)

“What if I told you that tonight you would have a dream that would change your life forever? How would that change the way you walk out of this session?”

“Do you ever sing to your cat?” “If you woke up tomorrow morning and discovered that your house was

painted a different color, how would that change the way you are currently



thinking about your life?” “If you two could build something in your backyard, perhaps a special

structure like a hut or a yurt or a tree house, what would it be?” A resource-focused therapy emphasizes working inside the weave of

interactivity in a session, utilizing whatever uniquely arises in the course of a session to guide your next move. This improvisational approach allows you to better serve whatever has life in it, changing your course of action as the in-teraction unfolds. Sometimes you may pick up on and feed a particular re-sourceful metaphor or expression, only to find it doesn’t end up going where you thought it might, but instead leads to something else. Or perhaps it takes a brief flight and then fizzles out, only to arise again later to become part of the session finale.

An example of the latter comes from a case we did called The Lightning King (in Keeney & Keeney, 2013). A man came to see us for help dealing with his 30-year-old son’s alcoholism and some other stressful issues. In the begin-ning of the first session, based on an intuition, we asked the client, out of the blue, if he had anything unusual or interesting on his desk at work. It turned out that he had a carved frog figurine that someone had given him. Appar-ently he had quite a frog collection at home. People started giving him frog collectibles in his mid-20s.

He previously mentioned that his son had almost died three times (due to alcohol and drugs). The conversation left the topic of frogs when we asked if he, too, had experienced any brushes with death. It turned out that our client had been struck by lightning when he was in his mid-20s. Later, we asked if getting struck by lightning had anything to do with his frog collec-tion. It turned out that people began giving him frogs after he was struck by lightning. Furthermore, live frogs started showing up around his house. A lot of frogs! He became known for the frogs in his yard and the collection he had inside his house. We gave him a new nickname and he responded with this declaration, “I’m the Lightning King. I was struck by lightning, and then the frogs came.” We were able to resourcefully work within this new framing of his life.

Always follow your nose when it comes to feeding a resource, even when



you don’t know where it will lead. In fact, assume you won’t know until both you and the client find yourself caught up in the creative flow of a virtuous circle’s movement. As we discussed in Chapter One, a session must dance through a middle act in order to arrive at the end. Like great theatre, both the actors and the audience must get swept up in the drama in order to be taken somewhere by the performance. Once the virtuous circle starts turning, it catches both you and the client. When it happens, the room buzzes and every-one feels more alive. In other words, everyone needs to get struck by creative lightning, and then all manner of unexpected gifts arrive without effort.

Draw a lightning bolt on the back of your professional license. Consider it more important than the license itself. Every time you feel a bolt of crea-tive inspiration awaken a session, get up and take your license off the wall. Mark the lightning bolt so you can keep track of how many times creative lightning strikes your therapy. When you get hit 25 times, consider that you are then truly licensed, not by the passage of a trivial multiple choice exam, but by a significant number of authentic therapeutic awakenings. At this point, paint the frame that holds your license. Choose whatever color you think symbolizes that you are creatively awakened, and then consider how lightning is more important than knowing. If it pleases you, write these words on the back of your license, right underneath the previously drawn lightning bolt: “Being hit by a bolt helps a therapist be more than a dolt.” Or if you prefer, “A surprising bolt helps my growth.” Or as we have written on the backside of our creative license, “A bolt can start a therapeutic revolt.”


Documents

Feeding Virtuous Circles