Flirt Tips

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Selection Secrets: Top Ten Flirting Tips & Tricks by Angela Michaels 2006 1

By Angela Michaels

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You see these cute guy at the caf, uni lounge, mall, disco or thesingles bar but they never come over to chat or ask you to dance!!

But you see other girls getting hit on.

And some of them are not that hot. In fact they are not hot AT ALL!

Your friends all tell you that you are attractive and you think you lookpretty hot. But now you are beginning to wonder

Is there something wrong with me?

Did you know that

Attractiveness is not the best predictor for who

will be approached - flirting is (Dr M. Moore)

According to Dr Mandy Moore who has been studying these thingsfor over two decades now unless a woman signals a guy that itsOK to approach, then - even if she is attractive - he will not do it.

These signals are what the rest of us (and Dr Moore, for that matter)call flirting!

Here are some of the flirting actions that have proven to get males tohit on a gal 100% of the time!!

By the way before I get to that when they did this research, Dr

Moore set the time of response at 15 seconds!!

That meant that a guy had to respond to a signal (ie flirt action)within FIFTEEN SECONDS for it to be countedas a response.

Whew! Thats a pretty impressive response, dont you think!

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about discouraging some of the unwanted male attention that theseflirting tips might bring.)

So what are these amazing FLIRT actions that make men hit on a

woman?

Remember, these flirting tricks work regardless of how attractive awoman is.

What we found is that a high-signaling but less attractive

woman will be far more successful than a low signaling butvery attractive woman (Dr M. Moore)

In normal English that means that you dont have to be attractive to

get men interested. In fact, if you are an attractive woman but donttend to use these flirt actions then you are unlikely to be approachedby any man.

By using the right flirt actions you can get men to approach regardlessof how attractive you are. Of course, attractive women who use theseflirt tips will have even more success.

When you read How To Tell Which Guys Make Great Mates, you willfind out why guys behave this way. It actually makes a lot of senseonce you understand what really drives guy to do the things that they

do.

OK. What we need to know is :

What are the flirting tricks that women can useto get men to approach 100% of the time?

Dr Moore has actually recorded over 50 of these. A dozen of the mostsuccessful are illustrated in the following pages.

NB: 1. To keep it easy the term

hit on is used to mean approached by a guy(s)

2. We have used attractive models to illustrate the flirt actionsthat are successful at getting guys to act. But remember:

attractiveness is not necessary,flirting is

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The room-encompassing glance was used by 80% of thewomen who were then hit on (remember, within 15 secs).

Its that simple to get guys to approach?

Well, maybe!

Because it turns out that 60% of women who did not get hit on

also glance around the room.

So the room-encompassing glance (dont you just love howresearchers talk?) is not enough.

It helps but there needs to be more. What else works is coveredover the next few illustrations.

Being able to put these flirt actions together in a way that worksis part of the skill to be revealed. Well come back to that at the

end.

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For the research, any smile was recorded as a smile. The smile was usedby 70% of women who were hit on and by NONE of the women who werenot hit on. Smile = No smile = r

The hair flip was used by 90% of the women who were hit on. This wasthe one flirt action used by almost every woman who was then hit on bya guy.

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Leaning toward aguy was used by50% of the womenthat were then hiton.

The lean was notused at allbywomen who were

not hit on. So..

Lean = No lean = r

The researchers call thisa neck presentation

It got used by 60% ofthe women that werehit on.

The neck display was notused at allby womenwho were not hit on. So..

Neck display = No Neck display = r

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This flirt action was observed to be used by 40 % of women who werehit on.

Being a lone dancer was used by women who were hit on only 20% ofthe time. All the same it was not used at all by women who were nothit on.

RememberCameron Diazin CharliesAngels? If youhavent seen it hire themovie just towatch thisscene its aprovenstrategy!

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The fixed, direct gazewas used by 40% ofwomen who wereobserved to be thenhit on by guys within

15 secs.

All of the flirt actionsillustrated in thefollowing pages wererecorded by theresearchers assuccessful for gettingguys to approach

but there is no statson just how oftenthey are used.

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PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER

The following table summarizes the findings of some of the researchinto womens flirting behavior and its success in getting men toapproach.

BehaviorUsed by Women who

were hit on%

Used by Womenwho were not hit on

%Room-encompassingglance 80% 60%Hair flip 90% 40%Smile 70% 0

Neck presentation 60% 0Lean toward a guy 50% 0Head nod 40% 0Head toss 40% 30%Gaze fixate 40% 20%Solitary dance 20% 0

Note that some of the successful flirt actions are also used by women

who do not get hit on and who are regarded as not seeking to beapproached. Typically, they will be focused on other activities suchas talking to other girl friends, reading, listening to music etc..

But hair flip IS used by 9 out of 10 women who get hit on!

room-encompassing glance is used by 8 out of 10 women who gethit on.

So these are clearly important parts of the flirt tool-kit.

But you must add one or more (but NOT ALL) of the other flirt actionsif you are to get the results you seek.

NB You can now see one reason why guys who are maybe not thatsocially clued-in may occasionally approach women who are notseeking to be approached.

Adapted from: Source: Moore, M, M. & Butler, D. I., Predictive aspectsof nonverbal courtship behavior in women

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They are attracted by the hair flip and/or the roaming glance thatwomen in all situations may still occasionally do. And they not noticingthe lack of other important flirt actions.

Using these flirt tricks a woman can either:

Encourage a high number of guys to approach Direct her flirting to a particular guy

The research we relied on to put these top flirt tips together showsthat typically, several flirt actions are used together. Crunching thenumbers in the table you will see that common combinations would be,for example:

room glance + hair flip + smile; or, hair flip + smile + head nod

Others could be:

direct gaze

+ hair stroke

+ neck dis la

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These flirt actions draw men like moths to a flame, and within 15 seconds!

Final Observations

Flirting works. Men will approach women who act in the waysillustrated by the models in the previous pages.

Not all of the approaches will be welcome! Some of the men who seek

you out will not be attractive to you. This means that you may need todevelop some methods for discouraging the very men that you hvejust been attracting.

But before you do that consider the following-

BENEFITS OF HAVING BETA ORBITERS

A beta orbiter is described in one PUA forum as a:

"nice guy" who makes himself too available for an ..female in thevain hope that she will reward him with sexual favors. She has otherorbiters too, probably. She will enjoy talking to you but she will enjoyfucking someone else. (PUA= Pick Up or seduction Artist).

A beta-orbiter is a male who will hang around a woman but who haslittle prospect of ever attracting her. It may even be that in the

neck display

+ hair toss

+ smile

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beginning the woman was interested in him. But because of his actionsshe lost attraction for him and it is now unlikely that she well ever beinterested again. In fact, the very fact that he is willing to be a beta-orbiter (there for her whenever she wants him to be, basically), meansthat he will never get her attraction.

So, before you consider rejection, consider:

Beta orbiters are useful to have around.

Beta orbiters can be useful because:

They can form part of your defense system that protects youfrom predatory males. Not to stand up to them - a beta orbiteris a beta male and will not be able to effectively fight off anaggressive male. But to warn you of a predatory malesattention.

They provide social proof of your attractiveness. Any femalethat has doting males around her is signaling her attractiveness and from a relatively safe place.

They can be great as back-up dates They can provide great company for shopping sprees. After all

the beta orbiter makes the mistake of believing that bycomplying to your wishes he is providing evidence that he isthe man you seek.

By the way, if you have trouble discouraging guys that approach youand so feel reluctant to use these great frlit tips consider the results ofsome other research that showed;

Rejection signals widely used by women (and so understood by man)include:

Sneer Stare Put their hands in their pockets and turning away

Avoiding eye contact Yawning Gazing upwards Nail cleaning Teeth picking

Guys dont like to be rejected and will usually respond to these actionsby leaving.

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For Those Who Would Like to Read some of TheOriginal Research:

Dhooma, R The Fine Art of flirting, Toronto Sun, March, 15, 2000

Moore, M. M. Predictive aspects of non-verbal courtship behavior inwomen,can be read at:

http://www.webster.edu/depts/artsci/bass/faculty/mm1989.htm

Moore, M. M., Lots of women have flirting down to a science,American Way,can be read at:

www.geocities.com/marvin_hecht/flirting.html

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