Footballinvective.com presents

The 2005 Charles Brownlow MedalFor Best and Fairest player in the AFL

and…

The Jo Bailey Medal

For “Best and Fairest” Brownlow companion

C. Judd (West Coast Eagles)

2004 Charles Brownlow Medallist

R. Twigley (West Coast Eagles)

2004 Jo Bailey Medallist

Mirror Mirror on the wall..

Who’s the “Best and Fairest” of them all…?

Brodie Holland: someone’s pinched my Nana’s curtains

Nick Dal Santo: Well out of his depth with this one

Mrs Buckley: Dress by Playboy Mansion; Hair by LA porn studio

Akker: that bow tie’s fooling no one – money can’t buy class (though it looks like it can buy implants – compare with 2003)

2003

Eddie McGuire: What a difference 3 weeks makes

Jo Silvagni: The Michael Tuck of Brownlows – a proven performer, even after 16 seasons

Luke Hodge: Wore his standard issue Hawthorn footy boots – won’t be getting any dirt on this pair either

Tuck and partner: Take a bow

No, no, really!

Matthew Lloyd: Took time out from his rocket science seminar

Nice of Richo to take his sister

Robbo: A true lair on and off the field

Matt Maguire: Not bad for Barry’s whipping boy

Richie Vandenberg; That dress is like Hawthorn’s game plan – all over the shop

Steven King: They breed ‘em keen down in Geelong

Cameron Bruce: Nice of him to take his Mum

Robert Harvey: Bet he’d swap his 2 Brownlows for a real coach any day

Christie Malthouse: More than a few blokes would like to boundary ride her

Mrs Hird: Hard to fault this year

Scott West; You can take the boy out of Footscray, but you can’t take Footscray out of the boy

Lindsay Gilbee; Both over-rated

Jonathan Brown: Apparently she’s from Warnambool too. Which makes her all the more impressive.

Kane Cornes: Did he find her at the Alberton greyhound stop on the way over?

Jason Johnson: Unspectacular on the field; off-field is another matter

Daniel Cross: Lucky it’s school holidays so she could stay out late (dress by Kermit the Frog)

Spider: Kindly took his parole officer

Giansiracusa: She’s easily the best thing to come out of the Whitten Oval since E.J.

Trent Croad; Outstanding chassis; shame about the duco

Pavlich: He’ll be hoping all his other limbs are still in working order

“Fanta Pants” Ling: Just goes to show that any bloke can pick up in Geelong

Andrew McLeod: Straight off the set of “Bold and the Beautiful” Chad Fletcher: Nice drumsticks

Mark Coughlan: Can I see your IDs

please?

Shane Woewoedin: Yep, still a has-been

Heath Black: Someone call Sweden - ABBA want their dress back

Andrew Embley: Finger painting, anyone?

Daniel Kerr: An honourable runner-up in both medals

Wellsy: Rising star qualities in every respect. 9.5 out of 10

Demetriou: The Fat Controller

Ben Cousins: Mr Consistency Nick Riewoldt: Like the rest of his season, we expected more from him

Luke Ball: are they shoes or did a couple of seagulls crap on his feet?

“Essendon, M Johnson: 3 Votes!”

Adam Simpson: Like his team, an under-achiever this September

Ben Rutten: is she a time traveller from a Cyndi Lauper video clip, circa 1984?

and the winner is…

Back-to-back Baileys for the girl from the West.

A Brownlow great – she’s a modern day Bob Skilton