Forever Remembered

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    In Dedication

    I would like to dedicate this little booklet to:

    The many parents I have cared for over the years, who haveshared their sorrows, their hopes, their dreams and theirstories with me.

    My Father, Omar unn, who lon! a!o !ave me the incentivefor this booklet.

    My mother, "uth unn, who is blessed with a compassionateheart.

    My children, #dward Moad, $hristina #dmonds, "obbie %ulenand &eith %ulen who tau!ht me everythin! I know aboutparental love.

    My husband, Dave, who supported me as I spend hours uponhours listenin!.

    If you are blessed by this little booklet, the !lory is 'od(sbecause he has blessed me with a listenin! compassionateheart because of )esus. *e called me into nursin!, *e calledme to care, *e !ave me a mission.

    You listen to the longing of those who suer. Youoer them hope, and you pay attention to theircries for help.

    Psalm 10:17

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    The death of a child is perhaps one of the most !rievoussorrows to bear. +s an ", I have attended many coupleseperiencin! the death of their beloved child in the womb, orshortly after birth.

    I have witnessed, and shared the intense !rief. 'od(scompassion moved me to start a support !roup for the!rievin! families, hopin! to touch lives with *is compassionatelove.

    This little booklet is a compilation of scriptures, poems, notes,and -uotes taken from the *eart to *eart support !roupnewsletter I have written over the years. In times of !rief,readin! the words of others can help communicate the intensefeelin!s of !rief and loss and help us realie we are not alone.

    I hope and pray as you are readin! this, you will also /nd'od(s compassionate nature. If you have eperienced thedevastatin! loss of a precious child, I pray you will /ndunderstandin! and encoura!ement for the 0ourney.

    %lessin!s,1hirley

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    $alled to $are

    I be!an my nursin! career in 2345 in the nursery of a local &$hospital. My very /rst day on the unit was very busy. One ofour babies was bein! sustained on a ventilator in the small

    isolation nursery. 6e were awaitin! the decision to turn o7the ventilator. +s it turned out, 'od made the /nal decision.It fell to me to carry out his after death care.

    In those days families were not encoura!ed to see or holdbabies after they had died. It wasn(t o7ered8 and no oneasked. The prevailin! attitude was, 9don(t see the baby, 0ust!o home8 pretend it never happened.(

    +s I carefully bathed his tiny lifeless body I thou!ht about hisvery short life. *e had returned to 'od without even knowin!a lovin! touch. +s I bathed him, alone in the isolation room, I

    -uietly san! to him8. Jesus loves me this !now8; Icarefully dried his fra!ile skin, and wrapped him, not in a softblanket, but in a white shroud8 little ones to him "elong; Iheld him close, in my arms and carried him to the mor!ue. 8we are wea! "ut #e is strong$

    + few months later, a premature baby was stillborn. Thismother asked to see her baby. The nurses refused. O O#would take her baby to her. I spoke up. If she is askin! tosee the baby she probably needsto.; The response cameback, Ifyou think she needs to see her baby, thenyou takethe baby to her.; +t 5 minutes she would ever haveto hold her baby.

    'od had called me to be a nurse, now 'od called me to meeta need? the needs of mothers, families, and nurses who didn(tunderstand the value of those precious moments.

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    1tatistically 25@2AB of all pre!nancies end in miscarria!e.+nother 2B result in loss before or at birth.

    The !rief eperienced by this particular !roup of women, asyou know, is very real and very deep. The plans and dreamsof a lifetime are shattered, sometimes tra!ically.

    Cosin! a child, no matter when, is one of life(s mostdevastatin! events. It can shake the very foundation of yourbelief system. It shakes your faith, and it rocks families andmarria!es. 1hock, denial, blame, an!er and !uilt areemotions that can wreck your life. I liken this to a whirlwind.It comes on suddenly, knocks you clear o7 your feet. ou feelsuddenly lost in a dark tunnel of twistin!, churnin! emotionalturmoil.

    6hy 'od, 6hyE; Is almost a universal -uestion. Does a 'od

    of love take away your precious childE In the whirlwind of !riefit is easy to lose si!ht of 'od and your trust in *im.

    I would remind you of two thin!s. In the %ible, )ohn 25:25 itsays, %the thief comes to steal, !ill, and destroy. &ut 'meaning Jesus( have come that they might have life andhave it to the full.$ t is not )od who steals life from us. InIsaiah >:

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    The Whirlwind of Grief

    %* voice is heard in +amah, weeping and great mourning,+achel weeping for her children and refusing to "e comforted,"ecause they are no more.$atthew -: 1

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    6hen 'rief $omes

    'rief comes into our lives like a thief. 6e are shocked, hurt,even bitter. The intensely personal eperience may send us ina tailspin of emotions, completely unepected, alwaysunwanted.

    *owever, 0ust as a warm sprin! day can evolve into darkenin!skies and wind, producin! tornadoes, that leave tra!edy in theaftermath, so too can the pattern of life chan!e as -uickly.+nd 0ust as -uickly, mornin! comes, the sun shines a!ain, andwe are left with the tornadoes devastation. Tra!edy is auniversal eperience. It can strike in a number of ways, inmany forms. The season of !rief comes to all in one way oranother, at some time. One of the deepest forms of !rief isthat of the loss of a child.

    6e have a 'od who knows the number of hairs on our heads,

    calls the stars by name, and is aware of each sparrow that fallsfrom the sky. This same 'od, is aware of your individualeperience of !rief and pain. our sense of loss, emptiness inyour heart, and deep lonely sorrow you feel. 6e know this bythe prophecy in anticipation of )esus.

    He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, acquainted

    with grief. Isaiah 53:3

    'rievin! is a process. +s a parent you never really %get over$the loss of your baby. ou learn to live a!ain. our 0ourney oflife chan!es, and it chan!es you. The eperience of your

    baby(s death becomes inte!rated into your life and who youare.

    The 0ourney is a painful process. One of disbelief, shock,an!er, !uilt. ou may have an!er at your care!ivers, yourspouse, or an!er at 'od. ou may feel !uilty for thin!s real orima!ined. ou may feel !uilty for thin!s beyond your control.These are normal eperiences in the !rievin! process.+llowin! yourselves to feelthe pain is an important part ofhealin!. 6hile you don(t get over it$, there is healin! alon!the 0ourney. #ventually, you reach acceptance, and you adaptto your chan!ed life.

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    our eperience with !rief becomes part of the new you. Thememory of your baby is always there, holdin! a meanin!fulplace in your life.

    )esus in *is earthly walk was /lled with compassion by theneeds of people.

    %/hen Jesus saw the crowd, he had compassion on them andhealed them.$

    atthew 1:1

    6e can know *e understands our pain. *e loves and cares forus so deeply. ou can reach out to *im now. *e has o7eredus comfort, *e has !iven us words of promise and assurance.

    will strengthen you, and help you will uphold you with myrighteous right hand2 3or am the 4ord, your )od who ta!eshold of your right hand and says to you 5o not fear will helpyou saiah 1: 10, 16

    One of the promises to those who put their faith and trust in'od is one of hope. The promise of eternal life? a new heavenand new earth.

    'od will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be nomore death, or mournin!, or cryin! or pain, for the old order ofthin!s has passed away.

    +evelation -1:

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    #motions of 'rief

    There is a ran!e of emotions that may be eperienced afterthe loss of a baby. o one knows how any one woman, or

    man, will react. #ven those who have lost an unplanned orunwanted pre!nancy have been surprised to admit feelin!s of!rief. Don(t be surprised by the feelin!s that you may have,as each of us is an individual, and there is no ri!ht or wron!way to feel.

    1hock+ very common reaction to the news that somethin! has !onewron!. ou 0ust shut down, !oin! throu!h the motions. This isyour body(s way of protectin! you from a painful eperience.It will wear o7 over hours, days or weeks to let you eperienceyour !rief as you are ready.

    +n!erThis is a normal and healthy emotion at this time. It can bedirected at almost anyone? your doctor, nurse, husband, wife,friend, yourself and even at 'od. It(s important that you /ndsomeone to talk this out with and to help you work throu!h it.

    1adnessThis can be eperienced in all di7erent de!rees from none tovery intense feelin!s of !rief. 1ome of the thin!s that cana7ect this are: 6hat did this loss mean to youE *ow lon!have you planned this pre!nancyE *ave you had otherlossesE 6hat kind of support are you !ettin!E 1tudies haveshown that women Hand men can be depressed from simonths to two years followin! the loss, especially if they feelthat they are unsupported. One of the most helpful thin!sthat you can do is talk about what the pre!nancy means andhow the loss has a7ected you. If you don(t feel comfortabletalkin!, try 0ournalin!. 6rite down your thou!hts andemotions, your hopes and dreams for the pre!nancy. It(sanother way to eternalie your feelin!s.

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    'uiltIt(s amain! that most parents can /nd some way to blamethemselves for what happened. 'uilt is a very commonemotion. 6as it somethin! I didE If only I hadn(t thou!ht

    that8 done that8 said that= ou did not do anythin! to makethis happen. Jlease realie that some thin!s 0ust happen, itdoesn(t mean you did anythin! wron! or that you(re a badperson. This is another thin! that you want to talk about withsomeone you trust.

    If, in fact, you carry some real responsibility in the outcome,remember that all thin!s can be taken to 'od. *e is a for!iverof those who turn to *im. Jlease seek counsel in this areawith a trusted pastor or counselor.

    Jain88 has an element of blank8

    8 it cannot recollect when it be!an8 8 or if there was a time when it was not.

    #mily Dickinson

    6hat 'rief is8

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    '"I#F is8)ourney into the unknown6hirlwind of emotionsTears uncontrollable

    '"I#F is8+n!erDepression#haustin!*elpless

    '"I#F is8$han!e in our world view$han!e in relationships1tress in marria!es

    '"I#F is81earchin! for 'odKuestionin! 'od1tren!thened by 'od

    '"I#F is8+ life@chan!in! event

    My Dau!hter 'race%y )im &esterson

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    Oh how we miss you, your mother and I6e think about you always, and often times cryearnin! to hold you and feelin! you move&issin! your head, the smell of baby shampooI wouldn(t !et upset at the sound of your cryI would 0ust hold you with love, sin!in! a lullaby

    our skin is like your mommy(s, so pretty and fair6ith bi! lon! curls in your precious blonde hair"ed Jopsicle stains all over your face)ust like you mommy when she was your a!eou would !i!!le and splash and play in the tub+nd !et us all wet and covered in suds

    ou would love the outdoors, and not want to come in6e(d !o huntin! for bu!s, and you would have dirt onyour chinou could help me in the yard, and follow me around6ith your little plastic mower, that makes a real mowersound6e would plant you a !arden, and wait for the dayTo pick the prettiest daisies, for a mother(s day bou-uet

    our brothers would love you, and protect you fromharmou would have their sense of humor, and also theircharmou would play baseball with $ooper, he would teachyou to catch+nd your bi!!est brother Tyler, could help you withmath

    ou would be spoiled by 'randmas and 'randpas and+unts alike*elpin! to make cookies, and learnin! to ride bikes6e would take trips on the holidays, and play !ames inthe car

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    +nd I would never !et tired of hearin! Daddy, howfarE;

    6e will still plant a !arden, in memory of you1o fra!rant and colorful, with yellow, plink, and blue+nd out ot that !arden, there will come the dayI will pick the prettiest Lowers for a Mother(s Daybou-uet

    I(ve become a better man, all because of youI(m !rowin! stron!er with 'od, and your mother is tooI can say I know an an!el, and she(s my dau!hter'race1he(s han!in! out in *eaven, and she(s savin! myplaceI love you, 'racie

    It isn(t for the moment you are stuck that you needcoura!e, but for the lon! uphill battle to faith, sanityand security.

    +nne Morrow Cindber!h

    The )ourney 6e Didn(t 6ant

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    +s you travel the 0ourney of !rief and pain it isimportant to eperience and feel the emotions that confrontyou. It is part of the healin! to allow yourself to vent;. Feelyour pain. #press it. Find someone to talk to, a pastor,friend, counselor, or 0oin a support !roup. &eep a 0ournal,

    record you feelin!s.

    If you try to run away, you will only become a bitterperson. %y workin! throu!h the many emotional upheavals inthe whirlwind of this 0ourney you may become morecompassionate, more sensitive, more supportive. ou may/nd it in yourself to reach out to others who also come into awhirlwind of !rief.

    *ealin! doesn(t mean for!ettin!. *ealin! is the chan!ein you. ou will never be the same person you were before.our will come to a new normal and you will become a new

    person. The memory and love of the child you lost becomes apart of you, a part of your life, and a part of who you are. oubecome a new person

    /hen you pass through the waters, will "e with you and

    when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep overyou. /hen you wal! through the re, you will not "e "urnedthe 8ames will not set you a"la9e.3or am the 4+5, your )od, the #oly ne of srael, your;avior 25o not "e afraid, for am with you

    saiah 6: -

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    6hy8 6hy8

    6hy did this happen to meE *ow can I !o onE 6ill this everendE

    It is too much to bear all at once. The shock, and numbnessbecome a protection a!ainst the unthinkable in our lives.

    1ometimes there are no answers. It has happened before8and it will happen a!ain. ou are not bein! sin!led out, orpunished.

    +re you an!ry at 'odE 6hy would a lovin! 'od allow thisE'od accepts even our an!er. Talk to *im about it.

    #ven )esus felt alone when he said,>y )od, my )od, why have you forsa!en me?> atthew-7:@

    6e can know *e understands our pain. *e loves and cares forus deeply.

    So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am

    your od! I wi"" stren#then you and he"$ you; I wi"" u$ho"d youwith my ri#hteous ri#ht hand% &or I am the '()*, your od,

    who ta+es ho"d of your ri#ht hand and says to you, *o not fear; Iwi"" he"$ you!

    Isaiah 41 10,13

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    Froen in Time

    'rief can seem to freee us in time. The ability to copeand heal happens only by facin! our feelin!s. 1ometimes ithappens little by little, sometimes it takes a lon! time. Tryin!to i!nore your feelin!s and bury !rief deep inside merely

    postpones it, intensi/es it, and sometimes transfers it intoharmful outlets.

    Introductions were bein! made at the dinner tabledurin! a business seminar I attended with my husband.

    I(m a labor and delivery nurse, mother of four.; Iresponded as it came my turn.

    Dianne, who was sittin! net to me, introduced herselfas an insurance a!ent. 1he shared that she was the mother ofthree children.

    +s we be!an to eat Dianne said -uietly to me, Iactually had children, but my second baby died at birth.;

    I(m so sorry to hear that; I replied. *ow lon! has itbeenE;Twelve years,; she answered. I have only recently

    be!un to think about her a!ain. I tried to put it behind me,stu7 it way down inside and !o on. #veryone said I wouldfor!et8 but I haven(t.;

    +nd did you name herE; I asked.*er name is $arolyn. 6e(ve never even spoken it

    since she was buried.;Tears fell from her cheeks to her napkin as she shared

    the details of the eperience, and feelin!s she had lon!buried. 'rief had been hidden deep in her heart.

    I don(t know why I(m tellin! you. I thou!ht since youwere a labor and delivery nurse maybe you have seen otherbabies die. ;

    It was then I shared with her my work with bereavedparents. Dianne had a deeply seated need to share her storyand mourn the death of a baby she loved, and missed. Theneed to share her story Lowed out and with it tears. +fter somany years her healin! be!an.

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    $omfort

    of

    $ompassion

    Ahe ;pirit of the ;overeign 4+5 is on me, "ecause the 4+5has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. #e has sentme to "ind up the "ro!enhearted, to proclaim freedom for thecaptives and release from dar!ness for the prisoners, toproclaim the year of the 4+5Bs favor and the day ofvengeance of our )od, to comfort all who mourn, and providefor those who grieve in Cion

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    A broken heart is not easy to mend

    6ounds leave scars@The intensity of the pain will fade

    ou will be forever chan!ed

    Time@It takes as much time as it takesThere is no re-uired amount of time for healin!

    *ow to start@%e honest@ Do you answer I(m /ne; when asked how

    are youE; 6hen we lie to others, we lie to ourselves.

    *onesty@ I(m havin! a tou!h day, but thank you foraskin!.; 'ive a truthful and honest answer withoutaskin! for advice or help.

    Ahe 4+5 is close to the "ro!enhearted and saves those whoare crushed in spirit. Psalm 6:1

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    6e can(t really epect that people will understand how we feelafter havin! a miscarria!e, losin! a baby, or child. nless theyhave eperienced it themselves, they cannot comprehend thema!nitude of the pain. It may be easy to become an!ry attheir reactions and responses.

    sually people are tryin! to be helpful8 they 0ust don(t know

    how.

    Ours is the choice. 6e can become bitter and resentful8 orwe can choose to help them be more aware of the value ofthat life.6e can allow others to walk hand in hand with us on the0ourney.

    The choice must be made individually,@you cannot make it for each other@no one can make it for you

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    6hen we have su7ered the !reatest !rief, we know the veryintensity of mournin! will eventually subside and diminish.*owever, there will forever remain teardrops on your heart.

    There will never be a replacement. The emptiness will not becompletely /lled, but will always be held for the love wecannot relin-uish.

    evertheless, comfort comes as we relin-uish ourselves to'od and *is unfailin! love. The emptiness can be /lled withthe love and peace of 'od.

    will not leave you comfortless: will come to you.John 1:1

    Ahe 4ord is near to those who have a "ro!en heartPsalm 6:1

    Jresident +braham Cincoln came to the $ross, as he describedin his later years,@

    6hen I left 1prin!/eld, I asked people to pray for me?I was not a $hristian. 6hen I buried my son N theseverest trial of my lifeN I was not a $hristian. %utwhen I went to 'ettysbur!, and saw the !raves ofthousands of our soldiers, I then and there consecratedmyself to $hrist.;

    3or am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angelsnor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor anypowers,neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will"e a"le to separate us from the love of )od that is in DhristJesus our 4ord.

    +omans :6

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    Tears are healin!. "elief is !ained throu!h the epression of!rief.

    put thou my tears into thy "ottle: are they not in thy "oo!?Psalm =@:

    'od has all your tears in *is bottle= es= *e knows each tearyou shed. 'od is merciful. *e loves you.

    The psalmist, David, mourned his baby who died.

    %e merciful to me, Cord, for I am faint? 8 My soul is inan!uish. *ow lon!, O Cord, how lon!E Turn, O Cord, anddeliver me? save me because of your unfailin! love. I am wornout from !roanin!? all ni!ht lon! I Lood my bed with weepin!and drench my couch with tears. My eyes !row weak withsorrow? 8 the Cord has heard my weepin!. The Cord hasheard my cry for mercy? the Cord accepts my prayer.

    Jsalms :

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    The pain of losin! your child will !radually subside, but thememory will last forever. #ventually you will come to /nd anew normal; for your life. ou will arrive by facin! 0ust oneday at a time.

    )esus, the Jrince of Jeace, can create a place of peace in yourheart, that can become evident in your life.

    8the fruit of the 1pirit is love, 0oy, peace, patience, kindness,!oodness, faithfulness, !entleness and self@control.;

    )alatians =:--

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    I will for!ive myself, and others,.8self control

    I will choose the authority of the 6ord of 'od as theinLuence of my life

    6hen it seems that our sorrow is too !reat to be borne,let us think of the !reat family of the heavy@heartedinto which our !rief has !iven us entrance?and inevitably we will feel about us,their arms and their understandin!.

    *elen &eller

    love the 4ord, for he heard my voice he heard my cry formercy. &ecause he turned his ear to me, will call on him aslong as live. Ahe cords of death entangled me, the anguishof the grave came upon me was overcome "y trou"le andsorrow. Ahen called on the name of the 4ord: % 4ord, savemeG$ Ahe 4ord is gracious and righteous our )od is full ofcompassion. Psalm 11@: 1

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    Jain of the heartis more powerful

    than pain of the body

    +n odd by@product of my loss is that I(m aware of bein! an

    embarrassment to everyone I meet. +t work, at the club, in

    the street, I see people, as they approach me, tryin! to make

    up their minds whether they(ll say somethin! about it; or not.

    I hate it if they do8and if they don(t.;$.1. Cewis

    + 'rief Observed

    %e for!ivin! of others8 they want to be kind, and often don(tknow what to say or do.

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    I 6on(t For!et

    Don(t pretend there was no baby,

    keepin! silentfor your comfort,

    for!ettin! my baby(s life.

    I won(t pretend, I won(t for!et

    For I treasure the memoryevery second of every day.

    )ust because life was so brief,don(t pretend it never was

    I won(t pretend, I won(t for!et

    + mother(s love is eternal.Thou!h my baby lives in *eaven,

    cradled in the )esus( armsuntil the day of 0oyous reunitin!

    I won(t pretend, I won(t for!et

    Jlease speak my baby(s name.It(s music to my ears

    and li!hts a candle in my heart.Covin! forever

    I won(t pretend, I won(t for!et.

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    The Mention of *is amenknown

    The mention of my child(s nameMay brin! tears to my eyes,

    %ut it never fails to brin!Music to my ears.

    If you are really my friend,Cet me hear

    The beautiful music of his name.It soothes my broken heart

    +nd sin!s to my soul.

    4ove must "e sincere2. mourn with those whomourn.

    omans !": #$!5

    It Takes a Cifetimenknown

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    It takes a lifetime to learn how to live,

    *ow to share and how to !ive,

    *ow to face tra!edy that comes your way,

    *ow to /nd coura!e to face each new day.

    *ow to smile when your heart is sore,

    *ow to !o on when you can take no more,

    *ow to lau!h when you want to cry,

    *ow to be brave when you say !oodbye.

    *ow to still love when your loss is so !reat,

    *ow to for!ive when your ur!e is to hate.

    *ow to be sure that 'od(s really there,

    *ow to /nd *im,

    seek *im in prayer.

    Only + Jhoto!raph1hirley %ulen

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    I only have a photo!raph.The briefest moment,

    mother and child.

    +ll my dreams, hopes, plans,in a photo!raph

    reveal my broken heart.

    I(m left empty and alone,my arms achin! so,

    6ith my photo!raph.

    I kissed you 8 and released you,to live forever in my heart,

    remembered in a photo!raph.

    &lessed are they who mourn, for they will "ecomforted.

    %atthew 5:&

    'rief that ambushes

    +s you be!in to venture out and resume livin! within yourworld, 'rief may suddenly overtake you when you least epectit.

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    + friend or co@worker will announce she(s pre!nant8 or !ivebirth to a healthy baby. ou may be shoppin! and it seemseveryone is pre!nant8 or pushin! a baby stroller. ou may !oto church only to /nd out they are holdin! a baby blessin!8and you should have been included 8 with your baby.

    #ach event brin!s !rief anew. Once a!ain you must !rieve 8and let !o. For this reason !rief is not on a time schedule. Itis a process. + process of lettin! !o. + process that cannot be

    rushed.

    Ahe 4+5 is close to the "ro!enhearted and saves those whoare crushed in spirit.Psalm 6:1

    $omfort

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    In 1tren!th

    Praise "e to the 4+5, for he has heard my cry formercy.Ahe 4+5 is my strength and my shield my hearttrusts in him, and am helped. y heart leaps for

    Hoy and will give than!s to him in song.Psalm -: @

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    Death of the baby you have loved so dearly will shake you toyour very foundation.

    >Aherefore everyone who hears these words of mine and putsthem into practice is li!e a wise man who "uilt his house onthe roc!. Ahe rain came down, the streams rose, and thewinds "lew and "eat against that house yet it did not fall,"ecause it had its foundation on the roc!. &ut everyone whohears these words of mine and does not put them intopractice is li!e a foolish man who "uilt his house on sand. Aherain came down, the streams rose, and the winds "lew and"eat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.>

    atthew 7:-

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    + story is told of an #astern villa!e, which, throu!h thecenturies, was known for its e-uisitely beautiful pottery.#specially strikin! were its urns? hi!h as tables, wide as chairs,they were admired around the !lobe for their stron! form anddelicate beauty.

    Ce!end has it that when each urn was apparently /nished,there was one /nal step. The artist broke it and then put itback to!ether with !old /li!ree. +n ordinary urn was thentransformed into a priceless work of art. 6hat seemed/nished wasnPt... until it was broken.

    1o it is with people= %roken by hardships, disappointmentsand tra!edy, they can be either discarded or healed. %ut whenmended by a hand of in/nite patience and love, the /nishedproduct will be a work of e-uisite beauty@ a life which couldonly reach its completeness after it was broken.

    If you feel broken remember... you are a work of art= +nd youmay not actually be complete until the pieces are reassembledand bonded with a !olden /li!ree of love.

    /here can go from your ;pirit? /here can 8ee from yourpresence? f go up to the heavens, you are there if ma!emy "ed in the depths, you are there. f rise on the wings of

    the dawn, if settle on the far side of the sea, even there yourhand will guide me your right hand will hold me fast.

    Psalm 16E: 7

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    1ociety shapes the way we epress emotions. Men are ofteninhibited in their epression of !rief by fear of perceivedweakness. "ather they feel re-uired to portray an ima!e ofstren!th and control.

    $omfort and understandin! can come from other men whoalso mourn your loss, or who have eperienced a similar loss.

    They are there for encoura!ement. %ut the !rief work youmust do is your own.

    Cook to those stren!ths and skills uni-ue to you that havesustained you in the past. For many, physical eercise is a!ood release for emotional ener!y.

    Take up a new interest, or re/ne a current activity.+re you athleticE

    )o!!in!

    Tennis

    )oin a !ym+re you !ood with your handsE

    'ardenin!

    6oodworkin!+re you epressiveE

    6rite, keep a 0ournal, try poetry

    Cearn to play an instrument, renew a ne!lectedone

    "each out to othersQolunteer time.

    *ospitals

    1chools

    $hurch

    *elp others. se your 'od@!iven talents and abilities to moveforward on the 0ourney throu!h your !rief. Turn your pain intopositive action. +s you do, you will /nd yourself movin!towards healin!.

    Dealin! with +n!er

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    +n!er is a very natural part of the !rief process. It may bedirected at people, at 'od, or 0ust anythin!.

    %ein! able to feel and eperience an!er without becomin!consumed by it is challen!in!.

    There is a story of a ative +merican elder who was tellin!

    his !randson about his feelin!s followin! a loss. *ere isthe meanin!ful conversation:

    I feel as if I have two wolves /!htin! within myself.One is hateful and ven!eful, the other is lovin! andcompassionate,; he told his !randson.

    6hich one will win; the !randson asked.

    The one I feed,; answered the !randfather.

    'od understands and accepts our feelin!s. Jrayer is aplace where we can be open and honest about our an!er,and a place where we can leave it. 'od can help us /ndcreative and positive ways to mana!e the an!er.

    ;o do not fear, for am with you do not "e dismayed, for am your )od. will strengthen you and help you willuphold you with my righteous right hand

    saiah 1:10

    Overcoming urdens of !ife+uthor nknown

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    Did you know that an ea!le knows when the storm isapproachin! lon! before it breaksE The ea!le will Ly to somehi!h spot and wait for the winds to come. 6hen the stormhits, it sets its win!s so that the wind will pick it up and lift itabove the storm. 6hile the storm ra!es below, the ea!le issoarin! above it.

    The ea!le does not escape the storm. It simply uses the stormto lift it hi!her. It rises on the winds that brin! the storm.6hen the storms of life come upon us @ and all of us willeperience them @ we can rise above them by settin! ourminds and our belief toward 'od. The storms do not have toovercome us. 6e can allow 'odPs power to lift us above them.

    'od enables us to ride the winds of the storm that brin!sickness, tra!edy, failure and disappointment in our lives. 6ecan soar above the storm. "emember, it is not the burdens oflife that wei!h us down, it is how we handle them.

    8but those who hope in the CO"D will renew theirstren!th. They will soar on win!s like ea!les? they will run andnot !row weary, they will walk and not be faint.

    Isaiah 5:>2

    The &in!(s mournin!8

    5avid pleaded with )od for the life of his "a"y "oy. #e fastedand spent the nights lying on the ground. Ahe elders of his

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    household stood "eside him to get him up from the ground,"ut he refused, and he would not eat any food with them.

    n the seventh day the child died. 5avidBs servants wereafraid to tell him that the child was dead, for they thought,>/hile the child was still living, we spo!e to 5avid "ut hewould not listen to us. #ow can we tell him the child is dead?

    #e may do something desperate.> 5avid noticed that hisservants were whispering among themselves and he reali9edthe child was dead. >s the child dead?> he as!ed. >Yes,> theyreplied, >he is dead.>

    Ahen 5avid got up from the ground. *fter he had washed, puton lotions and changed his clothes, he went into the house ofthe 4+5 and worshiped. Ahen he went to his own house, andat his reIuest they served him food, and he ate. #is servantsas!ed him, >/hy are you acting this way? /hile the child wasalive, you fasted and wept, "ut now that the child is dead, youget up and eatG>

    /hile the child was still alive, fasted and wept. thought,F/ho !nows? Ahe 4ord may "e gracious to me and let thechild live.B &ut now that he is dead, why should fast? Dan "ring him "ac! again? will go to him, "ut he will not return tome. - ;amuel 1-: --

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    $omfortOf

    +ssurance

    8whoever drinks the water I !ive him will neverthirst. Indeed the water I !ive him will become inhim a sprin! of water wellin! up to eternal life.;

    John :16

    6here is 'odE

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    'od has promised in *is word never to leave us. *e isthere with you in the whirlwind8 and in the valley. ou maynot see *im, you may not feel *is presence. %ut *e is therekeepin! watch over you.

    ou can look to others who have walked throu!h thevalley before you. They can be eamples of coura!e, faith,

    and a future hope. Therein is the value of 0oinin! with asupport !roup.

    I wi'' not 'ea(e you comfort'ess: I wi'' come to you. )ohn !&:!*

    "enewal #ach Day

    +t the end of each day review the events of the day.Find at least one incident to be thankful for. Thank 'od forthat. 6rite it down. &eep a 'ratitude list;.

    a work spoken

    a bird sin!in!

    a Lower bloomin!.

    RRRRRRRRRRRRRR

    RRRRRRRRRRRRRR

    6hen you feel discoura!ed, look back over your list ofThankfulness and see how 'od has touched your life.Then you can renew your trust in 'od for one more day.

    Faith may be shaken to the core when faced withsudden !rief. +ll that you have believed about 'od may comeinto -uestion.

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    Jrayer is how we epress the feelin!s to 'od. Theconfusion, the an!er, the -uestions8

    $ommunicate these to 'od.Meditate on *is words.In time you will see his lovin! care in your life. In time

    *e will speak peace into your heart

    For I know the plans I have for you,S declares the CO"D, Splansto prosper you and not to harm you, plans to !ive you hopeand a future.

    )eremiah o eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceivedwhat)od has prepared for those who love him>

    Dorinthians -:E

    ou also are 'od(s creation whom he loves. *e desires yourheart *e dili!ently seeks you for a lovin! relationship withhim.

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    > have loved you with an everlasting love have drawn youwith loving

    4ord, you have searched me and you !now me. You !nowwhen sit and when rise you perceive my thoughts fromafar. You discern my going out and my lying down you arefamiliar with all my ways. &efore a word is on my tongue you!now it completely, 4ord. You hem me in even the dar!ness will not "e dar! to you the night willshine li!e the day, for dar!ness is as light to you. 3or youcreated my inmost "eing you !nit me together in mymotherBs wom". praise you "ecause am fearfully andwonderfully made your wor!s are wonderful, !now that fullwell. y frame was not hidden from you when was made inthe secret place. /hen was woven together in the depths ofthe earth, your eyes saw my unformed "ody. *ll the daysordained for me were written in your "oo! "efore one of themcame to "e. #ow precious to me are your thoughts, )odG#ow vast is the sum of themG /ere to count them, they

    would outnum"er the grains of sand. /hen awa!e, am stillwith you.

    Psalms 16E: 1

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    + Messa!e of *ope remem"er my aKiction and my wandering, the "itternessand the gall. well remem"er them, and my soul is downcastwithin me. Yet this call to mind and therefore have hope:

    &ecause of the 4ordBs great love we are not consumed, for hiscompassions never fail. Ahey are new every morning great isyour faithfulness. say to myself, >Ahe 4ord is my portiontherefore will wait for him. >Ahe 4ord is good to those whosehope is in him, to the one who see!s him it is good to waitIuietly for the salvation of the 4ord. t is good for a man to"ear the yo!e while he is young. 4et him sit alone in silence,for the 4+5 has laid it on him. 4et him "ury his face in thedust

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    Our *eavenly Father knows the smallest details of our lives.*e counts the stars, *e knows the number of the hairs on ourhead. *e knows every part of our pain and sorrow.

    *re not ve sparrows sold for two pennies ? Yet not one ofthem is forgotten "y )od. ndeed, the very hairs of your headare all num"ered. 5onBt "e afraid you are worth more thanmany sparrows.

    4u!e 1-: @

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    Si" Ste#s to $ealing and %esolution

    &' Start your day with #rayer( ou can pray strai!ht fromscripture,

    ay the )od of hope ll you with all Hoy and peace asyou trust in him, so that you may over8ow with hope"y the power of the #oly ;pirit

    +omans 1=:16.'od, please /ll me with your 0oy and peace as I trust in you,so that I may overLow with hope by the power of your *oly1pirit;

    )' Take care of yourself( 1tress is a killer. %e kind to

    yourself, take a walk, eercise, etc.

    *' +nvest yourself in something worthwhile( #n!a!in! ina cause or need helps you /nd purpose, and helps make yourworld a better place in which to live.

    ,' -ry when needed( S#very unshed tear is a prism throu!hwhich all of lifePs eperiences are distorted.S

    .' !augh( It is still the best medicine.

    /' %emember these sim#le #hrases( SI am sorry.S

    SJlease for!ive me.S SThank you.S SI love youS. 1ay themwhenever needed.

    -hoose 0

    To live a!ainTo face tomorrow

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    To allow the broken heart to heal

    It is I+uthor unknown

    It is I whose kicks you will always remember,I who !ave you heartburn that a dra!on would envy.

    I who couldn(t seem to tell time and !ot yourdays and ni!hts mied up.

    It is I who acknowled!ed your cravin! for peach ice creamby knockin! the cold bowl o7 your belly.

    I who went shoppin! and helped you pick outthe 9perfect( teddy bear for me.

    I who liked to be cradled in your bellyand rocked o7 to dreamy slumber by the /re.It is I, who never had a doubt about your love.

    It is I who was able to put a lifetime of 0oy into an instant.

    3or you created my inmost "eing you !nit me together in mymotherBs wom". praise you "ecause am fearfully andwonderfully made your wor!s are wonderful, !now that fullwell. y frame was not hidden from you when was made inthe secret place. /hen was woven together in the depths ofthe earth, your eyes saw my unformed "ody. *ll the daysordained for me were written in your "oo! "efore one of them

    came to "e.+sa'm !3#: !3!-

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    Cike 1ilver "e/ned

    +s you travel the 0ourney of !rief and pain it is

    important to eperience and feel the emotions that confrontyou. It is part of the healin! to allow yourself to vent;. Feelyour pain. #press it. Find someone to talk to? a pastor,friend, counselor, or 0oin a support !roup. &eep a 0ournal,record you feelin!s.

    If you try to run away, you will only become a bitterperson. %y workin! throu!h the many emotional upheavals inthe whirlwind of this 0ourney you may become morecompassionate, more sensitive, more supportive, you may /ndit in yourself to reach out to others who also come into awhirlwind of !rief.

    *ealin! doesn(t mean for!ettin!. *ealin! is thechan!e in you. ou will never be the same person you werebefore. ou will come to a new normal and you will become anew person. The memory and love of the child you lostbecomes a part of you, a part of your life, and a part of whoyou are. Cike silver in the re/ner(s /re, precious, beautiful andof !reat value.

    Ahis third will "ring into the re will rene them li!e silverand test them li!e gold. Ahey will call on my name and willanswer them will say, FAhey are my people,B and they willsay, FAhe 4+5 is our )od.B>

    Cechariah 16:E

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    The loss of a child is a lifelon! !rief. Jarents do not ever stop

    !rievin!. It may vary in intensity at di7erent times, but it willreturn a!ain and a!ain.

    +s you !o throu!h the seasons of life, !rief will assault youanew? a cruel reminder of the scar on your heart. #ach timeyou must work throu!h the feelin!s once a!ain.

    'rief can(t be i!nored. ou can mask it, stu7 it, deny it, buteventually it must be dealt with. 'rief is hard work, but itmust be done for healin! to be!in.

    #ach time pain and !rief overtake you it is important toacknowled!e the pain and allow the healin! tears to Low. +syou allow yourself to feel the emotion then you can read0usta!ain to the reality of livin! with the loss.

    +lthou!h we know that after such a loss the acute state ofmournin! will subside, we also know that we shall remaininconsolable and will never /nd a substitute. o matter whatmay /ll the !ap, even if it be /lled completely, it neverthelessremains somethin! else. +nd actually, this is how it should be.It is the only way of perpetuatin! that love which we do nothave to relin-uish.;

    1i!mund Freud

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    +braham Cincoln:+ reLection on the death of his second child.

    In this sad world of ours, sorrow comes to all8It comes with bitterest a!ony8Jerfect relief is not possible, ecept with time.

    ou cannot now realie that you will ever feel better8+nd yet this is a mistake.ou are sure to be happy a!ain.

    To know this, which is certainly true,6ill make you become less miserable now.I have eperienced enou!h to know what I say.;

    %weeping may endure for a night,"ut Hoy cometh in the morning.$ Psalm 60:=

    )oy is not the absence of pain%ut rather, 0oy is the presence of 'od within

    +n +ppointed Meetin!

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    Danielle had been devastated by the loss of her /rstbaby. 1he came to the 96alk to "emember(, and brou!ht hermother@in@law. Danielle introduced us, tellin! me she had alsolost her /rstborn son.

    Thank you so much for doin! this.; &athy said. Inever had a chance to !rieve my son. I never even saw him. I

    was youn! and everyone thou!ht that would be best. Thisevent has /nally o7ered me the chance to acknowled!e himand put some closure to the !rief I have held deep inside for

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    //0+12/0

    The sun rises every mornin!. 6e open our eyes. 6e breathe.Cife !oes on. 1ometimes a person may feel pressured to !et

    on with it: %ut we all must remember that each personworked throu!h !rief at their own individual pace. If we do our!rief work, resolution does eventually come. *ow do youknowE There are a few identi/able si!ns of !rief recovery andresolution.

    +cceptin! the reality of the loss

    #periencin! the pain of !rief

    +d0ustin! to daily life without the loved one.

    "einvestin! in others

    )ust because we see the si!ns of acceptance it does not mean

    there will not be days of sadness and !rief. %ut the intensityof the !rief will !radually lessen.

    6e as human bein!s never 9!et over( our !rief, but insteadbecome reconciled to it8 the sense of loss does notcompletely disappear, yet softens and the intense pan!s of

    !rief become less fre-uent.. +lan D. 6olfelt, J*.D.

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    Hope in od$hoosin! to live a!ain

    'OD(1 J"OMI1#1

    )oshua 2:A ...I will never leave you nor forsake you.

    Jsalms :2 For this 'od is our 'od for ever and ever? hewill

    be our !uide even to the end.

    Isaiah A:3 Then you will call, and the Cord will answer?you will cry for help, and he will say: *ere am I.

    )ohn 22:

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    Jrayer of "enewal1hirley %ulen

    Father, as I stood at my open door, the sunshine andcool mornin! air dried the tears on my cheeks. I watched as-uirrelmake his way down the trunk of a tree, be!innin! his mornin!search for food.

    +mid the sound of traUc, I am aware of the stillness,the -uietness of your world. %irds sin!in! praises to the newday, fresh blades of !reen !rass stru!!lin! throu!h the brownof the winter lawn.

    I am thankful for these moments of rest that brin!shope and peace and I realie, once a!ain, that you care, thatyou love, that you know the an!uish of my heart and I amrenewed in your !race.

    lift up my eyes to the hillsMwhere does my help come from?y help comes from the 4+5,

    the a!er of heaven and earth.Psalms 1-1

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    Seasons of rief

    .he summer of #rief is bri#ht, hot, unre"entin# "i+e the burnin# sun!

    Inters$ersed with $eriods of res$ite, whi/h a""ow a brief es/a$e from the new

    rea"ity!

    .he fa"" of #rief is #ray, /ris$, "i+e autumn "eaes a"ways /run/hin# beneath

    us, no matter how we try to swee$ it away! .hen tears, "i+e rain, "eain# the

    wor"d, and our sou", so##y and mournfu"!

    .he winter of #rief is /o"d! &roen in time, with sho/+, at the une$e/ted! e

    e$erien/e an#er! n#er at od, at $eo$"e /"ose to us, at /are#iers, and een

    $eo$"e we dont +now who are $ushin# stro""ers, or $ushin# swin#s at the

    $"ay#round! e interna"ie an#er, and sin+ into de$ression! o"d and a"one!

    The sprin! of !rief is tearful. Tears fall upon us like rain. It

    may come suddenly, in crashin! thunderstorms. 1ometimes!ivin! way to a !entle steady cleansin!. es, tears can becleansin! to the soul, leavin! space for the bri!ht color ofpromise, new buds of hope, the wonderment of restoration..he seasons /han#e! .hey ebb and f"ow, sometimes b"endin# into ea/h other!

    So is the ourney of #rief! 'ife is foreer /han#ed, yet, throu#h "iin# the

    seasons of your #rief, /"eansin#, renewa" and reso"ution are $ossib"e

    Ao everything there is a season, a time for every purposeunder heaven: * time to "e "orn, and a time to die,... * timeto weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time todance2 Ncclesiastes 6:1

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    1prin! of 'rief1hirley %ulen

    1prin! rains cometo refresh and cleanse the earth.

    1un breakin! throu!h clouds

    paints a rainbow of color across the sky,a si!n of promise and hope.Flowers push up throu!h the dormant earth.

    Ceaves burst forth fresh and !reen on the trees.The cold darkness of winter passes

    under bri!ht blue sky and warmin! sun.1o, also, tears cleanse our hearts and souls

    and the cold an!ry pain of !riefslowly !ives way

    To bri!hter tomorrows.

    Jeace in Memories

    *old on to your memories. #mbrace the bittersweetmemories of love and 0oy that !rew within you and that younow have released to 'od. In time, embracin! the memoriescan brin! peace and 0oy in your life.

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    1omeone once said,It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all;

    In -uiet moments of prayer comes peace. The peace that

    transcends understandin!. 'od is the very source of allpeace. *e brin!s peace into all situations.

    )oy is not the absence of pain)oy is the presence of 'od within

    the peace of 'od, which transcends all understandin!, will!uard your hearts and your minds in $hrist )esus.

    Jhilippians : 4

    ow may the 4ord of peace himself give you peace at alltimes and in every way. Ahe 4ord "e with all of you.

    Ahessalonians 6: 1@

    Ahe deeper that sorrow carves into your "eing,the more Hoy you can contain. Oahlil )i"ran

    Forever "emembered

    Cife does continue on. +nd so may love.

    In remembrance: our children live throu!h you.ou will always carry in your heart the love for your child. Itwill form who you are, and who you will become. %ecause ofthat, your child(s presence will always be with you.

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    In touchin! others: +cts done in memory of your child. Thelove epressed as a result of their very short life will live onand e7ect the lives of others

    our child will not be for!otten@@ot by you,

    @ot by 'od

    %2 will not forget you. ;ee, have inscri"ed you on thepalms of my hands.$ saiah E: 1=

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    #ere amG stand at the door and !noc!. f anyone hears myvoice and opens the door, will come in and eat with him, andhe with me.

    +evelation 6:-0

    will turn their mourning into gladness will give themcomfort and Hoy instead of sorrow.Jeremiah 61:16

    ou can once a!ain eperience 0oy. That is not to mean thatyou will not feel the pain, or shed the tears. 'rievin! isacceptable. 'rief may last a lifetime, but you do have choices.ou can remain in despair and use an!er and bitterness as themortar in a stone wall around you, or you can choose to live,by epressin! your feelin!s, openin! your heart and trustin!'od. Death and !rief are a part of life. our eperience of!rief can mold you into a mature person of faith and character.$hoices are not easy but they are decisions on how you will

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    allow circumstances to shape you. 'od(s love for you is notde/ned by the circumstances in your life, but rather by hissu7erin! on the cross for you.

    Five Important 1teps to healin!@

    2 $onfront the reality@ Maintain memories. "eco!nie the!oodness and love you have eperienced.< Develop a new sense of self that reLects that part of yourcharacter. ou are still a mother8 a father. %e a parent toyour memory.> Find new ways to function. Meet the daily needs of youreistence. Discover new areas of emotional investmentThere are diUcult steps. The process does not happen easily.They are choices you make each day.A 1urrender to 'od(s comfort. +llow faith to move you into

    reliance upon )esus $hrist.

    ;o do not fear, for am with you do not "e dismayed, for amyour )od. will strengthen you and help you will uphold youwith my righteous right hand.saiah 1:10

    $elebration of "emembrance

    $hristmas is a celebration of the birth of )esus. *e is the !iftof 'od(s love. The ful/llment of the !ift wasn(t in his birth, butrather in the cross and his resurrection.

    Followin! his very powerful time in ministry with the disciples,)esus instituted with them a ew $ovenant at the Cast 1upper.They did not know what was comin!, but )esus did.

    *nd he too! "read, gave than!s and "ro!e it, and gave it tothem, saying, >Ahis is my "ody given for you do this in

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    remem"rance of me.> n the same way, after the supper hetoo! the cup, saying, >Ahis cup is the newcovenant in my "lood, which is poured out for you.

    4u!e --:1E

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    )ournalin! NDaily, or at least several times a week, write your thou!htsand feelin!s. %e honest as your write. 'o back in time, writeof your anticipation, your devastation, and your presentfeelin!s.6rite a letter to your baby. 6rite the dreams you hadplanned, the love you eperienced.

    6rite a letter to 'od. 1hare with *im all your emotions.

    Jlant a livin! memorialFlowers, a bush or tree. +t your home, or you may ask to haveone planted in a park, a place where you may watch it !row,as a reminder of your love.

    $reate a memory area in your home.+ photo!raph, or a !roupin! of mementos that represent yourbaby. 1pecial candles or Lower display. It is not a shrine; buta memory of someone you loved.

    + special ob0ect, or piece of 0ewelry to keep you connected.1omethin! you can keep with you to 0ust remind you of yourbaby.

    our memory becomes a treasure in your heart

    1tained 'lassby 1hirley %ulen

    1un risin!Throu!h stained !lass

    1hinin!%eauty

    The chapel of 'od

    Jieces of your heartFra!ile, like !lass

    %roken1hattered

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    In the hands of the Master $raftsman.

    *e works *is creative artIn patience

    Mendin!*ealin!

    Fused by *is touch

    1on risin! in your lifeThe stained !lass heart

    1hinin!%eauty

    The Temple of 'od

    Dome to me, all you who are weary and "urdened, and willgive you rest. Aa!e my yo!e upon you and learn from me, for am gentle and hum"le in heart, and you will nd rest for yoursouls.

    atthew 11:-

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    Don(t put epectations on yourself

    #press your feelin!s

    o one ever told me that !rief felt so like fear. I am not

    afraid, but the sensation is like bein! afraid. The same

    Lutterin! in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawnin!,

    I keep on swallowin!.;

    $.1. Cewis

    Miracle In the 'ardenby 1hirley %ulen " %1

    +t only

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    The beepin!, whirrin!, chirpin! sounds of the I$ becamethe familiar sounds of life for 1hawna and )oe as they dailymaintained vi!il at the side of their /rst@born. +main!;'race they called her@ 'od(s little packa!e of pure love.6here some couples falter under the stress, 1hawna and )oe!rew stron!er bonded to!ether by their love for 'race.

    +s the weeks passed little 'race continued to amae with herresilience to each challen!e of survival. Then she developedpneumonia. The stru!!le for her premature lun!s becametoo much, and after > months of life in the I$, 'raceMaryalyce died.

    There are no words to describe the an!uish in the heart of aparent whose dreams and love are encircled in the life of atiny child when they have to let !o.

    I met 1hawna and )oe when they came to the Jerinatal !riefsupport !roup. $omin! to!ether helped them heal, workin!

    throu!h the !rief to!ether. +s they shared the story of their/rstborn you could see, even throu!h the tears, how she hadblessed them with the love she had brou!ht into their lives.

    That sprin! the support !roup met to!ether and made !ardensteppin! stones, each decorated by the parents with smoothcolorful stones. 1hawna and )oe carved +main! 'race;across theirs, and placed it in the 'arden of +n!els, 1t Mary(sinfant memorial !arden.

    + year later 1hawna and )oe were aniously anticipatin! thebirth of another baby. )oe called to share the ecitin! newswhen she was safely delivered. +nother little !irl, full termand healthy. There were tears of 0oy8 and of remembrance.

    Cater that same day I walked out to the !arden. I couldn(tbelieve what I saw. + yellow da7odil had pushed up throu!hthe !round and throu!h the steppin! stone, splittin! it ri!htbetween +main!; and 'race;. It was like a messa!e from*eaven that even throu!h the trials of loss, love survives.

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    1hawna and )oe brou!ht Miranda to see me. To!ether wewalked out to the !arden. There was the da7odil, stillbloomin! ri!ht in the center of +main! 'race. Today thestone is still there. They chose to not repair the crack, but toleave it as a testament of love. Their miracle in the !arden, of'od(s +main! 'race.

    6hen a child is taken the reality of one(s faith either sustainsand comforts or, if not rooted in a lovin! 'od, falls apart. Inthe weeks and months and even years that followed we saw'od(s hand at work in the aftermath of our loss.;

    $. #verett&oop MD

    Former 1ur!eon 'eneral

    )od is our refuge and strength, an ever

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    /hen you pass through the waters, will "e with you andwhen you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep overyou. /hen you wal! through the re, you will not "e "urnedthe 8ames will not set you a"la9e.3or am the 4ord, your )od, the #oly ne of srael, your;avior 2

    5o not "e afraid, for am with you saiah 6: -

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    If you are a mother(s whose arms and breasts are achin! forthe child they lon! to hold, I pray for healin! peace andcomfort.

    If you are a father who is unable to cry, I pray for the Lowin!of healin! tears and the capacity to epress your !rief.

    If you are in deep depression, I pray for you to be lifted out ofthe valley.

    If you are ehausted from !rievin! I pray for you to bestren!thened and refreshed to face another day.

    To all of your needs, I pray that you will receive theunderstandin! you need, and the assurance that you areloved, and that your mournin! may turn to 0oy.

    Praise "e to the )od and 3ather of our 4ord Jesus Dhrist, the3ather of compassion and the )od of all comfort, whocomforts us in all our trou"les, so that we can comfort those in

    any trou"le with the comfort we ourselves have received from)od. Dorinthians 1:-

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    ou have been !ifted with a special understandin! for otherssu7erin! the loss of a precious baby and the hopes anddreams. ou have a !ift to share. "each out, take the hand of'od, re!ain your footin! on a /rm foundation, then lookin! tohim, reach down and help lift another.

    race and peace to you from od our 4ather

    and the ord )esus /hrist

    omans !:-