Funny Football Quotes

8/15/2019 Funny Football Quotes

1/27

Funny Football Quotes

by

footballalert

http://www.footballalert.net/http://www.footballalert.net/


2/27

"Without being too harsh on David, he cost us the match."

Ian Wright

"They didn't change positions, they just moved the players around."

Terry Venables

"They (!indon are still #inding that they are much happier !hen they have the ball than !hen the

other side has it."

$on %ones

"Woodcoc& !ould have scored but his shot !as too per#ect."$on t&inson

"I didnt say them things that I said."

)lenn *oddle

"That's teve *o!ey's third+ever eague goal and he's never scored more than t!o in a season be#ore."

%e## telling

"I predicted in ugust that -eltic !ould reach the #inal. n the eve o# that #inal I stand by that

prediction."rchie /acpherson

"0ootballs not li&e an electric light 1 you cant just #lic& the button and change #rom slo! to 2uic&."

%ohn )reig

"The -hampions eague semi+#inal is over t!o legs, so it !ill be a one+o## a##air."

)raham 3eecro#t

"The problem is not !hat !e are doing badly, it is because !e are not doing things !ell."

4atric& 5vra

"To be second !ith one game to go 1 you cant as& #or more."

tuart /c-all

"ometimes he does the brilliant things really !ell."

ee harpe

"4layers pre#er the 0 -up because it's the end o# season curtain+raiser."

4eter Withe

")ermany are a very di##icult team to play + they had eleven internationals out there today."

teve omas

"*e's caused the -helsea de#ence no amount o# problems."

%immy rm#ield


3/27

"We had already beaten them 6+7 and 8+7 earlier this season, so !e &ne! !e !ere in #or a really tough

game today."

3arry 0erguson

"We had t!o shots saved o## the line by the post."

-raig 3ro!n

"ome o# their players are internationals9 some play #or their national team."

teve /c-laren

":ot to !in is guttering."

/ar& :oble

;Its 7+7 here. :o goals.<

drian -hiles

"*es unpleased about that.</ar& 3right

"*es one o# the greatest players in the !orld, i# not one o# the greatest any!here."&y ndre!

;*is return gives 5ngland another &ey to its bo!.<tuart 4earce

;Ive been consistent in patches this season.<

Theo Walcott

;*es been li&e a #resh o# breath air.<

$oy =eane

;The thing about goalscorers is that they score goals.<

Tony -ottee

;Its no! much more >7+>7 in #avour o# 5verton.<

Iain Do!ie

;he##ield Wednesday are third in the table. ?ou couldnt be any higher.<

Ian brahams

;4laying !ith !ingers is more e##ective against 5uropean sides li&e 3ra@il than 5nglish sides li&e

Wales.<

$on )reen!ood

;Very #e! great goals actually go in.<

)raham Taylor

;:o! /anchester Anited are B+C do!n on aggregate, they are in a better position than !hen they

started the game at C+C.


4/27

$on t&inson

;There's only one place you !ant to be and that's Wembley, ld Tra##ord or n#ield.<

/ic& -hannon

;0ulham havent had a shot on target, !hich is probably !hy they arent in the goals.<

Tony -ottee

;3ayern !ill have the added advantage o# playing in their home stadium. Thats li&e a home game #or

them.<4aul 5lliott

;4itches today are li&e snoo&er carpets.</ic& uinn

;uare@ !ill improve and he !ill get better.<

%amie $ed&napp

"I never ma&e predictions and I never !ill.<

4aul )ascoigne, ma&ing a predictionE

"I never ma&e #orecasts but !hoever !ins that game !ill !in the #inal.<

=en 3ates doing a )ascoigne

"3ristol $overs !ere 6+7 up at hal# time, !ith #our goals in the #irst hal#."

Tony damson

"That's a yello! card #or -a@oria. o the neFt time he's involved in 5urope, he !on't be."

$T5 commentator )eorge *amilton

"3arnsley have started o## the !ay they mean to begin."

-hris =amara

"That !as only a yard a!ay #rom being an inch+per#ect pass."

/urdo /aceod

"3olton have !on just three o# their last t!o games".

Ian brahams

;/artin %ol has put his hands on his heads.<$ay 4arlour

"/aths is totally done di##erently to !hat I !as teached !hen I !as at school."

David 3ec&ham (and 5nglish !as probably teached di##erently as !ell

"Id love the person !ho taught %ose /ourinho 5nglish to taught me."

teve -laridge, !ho may have gone to the same school as David 3ec&hamE


5/27

"4aul ambert has learned 0abian Delph the game."

4aul /erson

"I've had C6 boo&ings this season, G o# !hich !ere my #ault, but 8 o# !hich !ere disputable."4aul )ascoigne

"Thin& o# a number bet!een C7 and CC."$on t&inson

"amuel 5to'o is reputedly the highest+paid player in the !orld at H>7,777 per !ee& + that's H>,777 aday."

-live Tyldesley

"When you are 6+7 up you should never lose 8+C.<

a!rie /c/enemy

"$eals second goal made it +7."Des ynam

;ll that remains is #or a #e! dots and commas to be crossed.</itchell Thomas

"The B,777 a!ay #ans !ill be unhappy. In #act hal# o# them have gone, there's only >77 le#t."-hris Waddle

"....and so they have not been able to improve their C77J record."

$adio -ommentator

"The possession stats at one point !ere 88J to J."

/ic& uinn

"With *arry, t!o plus t!o al!ays ma&es #ive, not three."

/ilan /andaric

"?ou need at least eight or nine men in a ten+man !all."

/ar& a!renson

"I can count on the #ingers o# one hand ten games !here !eve caused our o!n do!n#all."

%oe =innear

"0our minutes to goK..#our long minutesK.L7 seconds."

listair leFander

"ston Villa are seventh in the league. Thats almost as high as you can get !ithout being one o# the

top siF."

Ian 4ayne

"We must have had MM per cent o# the match. It !as the other three per cent that cost us."

$uud )ullitt


6/27

"Ireland !ill give MMJ + everything theyve got."

/ar& a!renson

"5ven though t!o and t!o might loo& li&e #our, it could be three or #ive."

=evin =eegan getting close to the right ans!er...but

"The )ermans only have one player under BB, and he's B."

=evin =eegan, he !as completely !rong on that oneE

"Well, *arry, #i#th place last year, ho! can you better thatN"

0ergus !eeney

"nd some >77 Italians made the trip, in a cro!d o# only 677."

$adio -ommentator

"I# )lenn *oddle said one !ord to his team at hal#+time, it !as concentration and #ocus."$on t&inson

"-hile have three options + they could !in or they could lose."=evin =eegan

"ne thing about )ermany 1 theyll be organised, theyll be big and theyll be strong."lly /c-oist, no! that's three thingsE

"I'd li&e to play #or an Italian club, li&e 3arcelona"

/ar& Draper

"I couldn't settle in Italy + it !as li&e living in a #oreign country."

Ian $ush on his spell at %uventus

"The 3elgians !ill play li&e their #ello! candinavians, Denmar& and !eden."

ndy To!nsend

"What I sa! in *olland and )ermany !as that the majority o# people are Dutch in *olland and

)erman in )ermany."4eter Taylor

"rgentina !on't be at 5uro B777 because they are #rom outh merica."

=evin =eegan !ho !as listening in that lessonE

"We had enough chances to !in the game. In #act !e did !in it."

leF mith !hen berdeen manager

"/anchester Anited could only beat 5Feter B+7 1 and it !as just C+7 at one point."

lan 3ra@il

"That !as a continuance o# !hat !e have seen most o# the season 1 that is, various clubs beating each

other."


7/27

$on :oades

"I !as #eeling as sic& as the proverbial don&ey."

/ic& /c-arthy

"o, this movie you star in, The i#e tory o# )eorge 3est, tell us !hat it's about."

&y ports commentator

"Id never allo! mysel# to let mysel# call mysel# a co!ard."

)raham Taylor

"I !as a young lad !hen I !as gro!ing up."

David eary

"I just !onder !hat !ould have happened i# the shirt had been on the other #oot."

/i&e Wal&er

"That !as the per#ect penalty + apart #rom he missed it."

$ob /c-a##rey

"*e had de#enders s!arming around him li&e a !et blan&et."

)erry rmstrong

;/y parents have been there #or me, ever since I !as about 8.<

David 3ec&ham

"When 5ngland go to Tur&ey there could be #atalities 1 or even !orse, injuries."4hil :eal

"The /erseyside derby games are uni2ue in the city."3rendan $odgers

"ll o# West *ams a!ay victories have come on opponents territory this season."/arcus 3uc&land

"The manager could not even tal& to us at the interval. *e said !e !ere bad."%ohn Terry

"part #rom their goals, :or!ay haven't scored."

Terry Venables

"Doncaster !ill hit Villa !ith #ire and broomstic&."

%ohn )regory

"$oy =eane going to -eltic !ould be a case o# out o# the gold#ish bo!l, into the #ire."

$adio commentator

"What I said to them at hal# time !ould be unprintable on the radio."

)erry 0rancis


8/27

"Well not give up even i# !ere CB points behind !ith one game le#t."

%oe *art

"They (eeds Anited used to be a bit li&e rsenal, !inning by one goal to nil or even less."

:asser *ussain !ho thanully &no!s more about cric&et

"3urton really couldnt lose tonight 1 but they have."

Ian Wright

"I# I !as still at Ips!ich, I !ouldn't be !here I am today."

Dalian t&inson

"I# you !ant change, you've got to stic& !ith it."

Terry Venables

"*e's carrying his le#t leg, !hich, to be honest, is his only leg."

teve -oppell

"*e says that he !ill !al& a!ay #rom the game !hen his legs go."$adio -ommentator

"/ichael !en + he's got the legs o# a salmon."&y TV commentator

"An#ortunately, !e &eep &ic&ing ourselves in the #oot."

$ay Wil&ins

"haun Wright+4hillips has got a big heart. It's as big as him, !hich isn't very big, but it's bigger."

=evin =eegan

"I #elt a lump in my throat as the ball !ent in."

Terry Venables

"ampard pic&s his head up and &noc&s it out to the !ing."

lan hearer

;*e is an interesting player + short bac& legs.<

David 4leat

"Dumbarton player teve /c-ahill has limped o## !ith a badly cut #orehead."

Tom 0errie

"I !as disappointed to leave purs, but 2uite pleased that I did."

teve 4erryman

"I'm as happy as I can be 1 but I have been happier."

Ago 5hiogu


9/27

"I# you're going to !in the 4remier eague, you're going to have to #inish ahead o# -helsea and

/anchester -ity."

)raeme ouness

"nd rsenal no! have plenty o# time to dictate the last #e! seconds."

4eter %ones

"What ma&es this game so delight#ul is that !hen both teams get the ball they are attac&ing their

opponents goal."%immy *ill

"That's #ootball, /i&e, :orthern Ireland have had several chances and haven't scored but 5ngland havehad no chances and scored t!ice."

Trevor 3roo&ing

"nd there's $ay -lemence loo&ing as cool as ever out in the cold."%immy *ill

"nd the ne!s #rom )uadalajara !here the temperature is ML degrees, is that 0alcao is !arming up."3rian /oore

"ouness gave 0lec& a second chance and he grabbed it !ith both #eet."%ames anderson

;ast night !e !ere the best team on the day.<

$oy it&en

"%i+ung 4ar& is probably not as young as he !as !hen he arrived at ld Tra##ord all those years ago."

$ay *oughton

"The match !ill be sho!n on /atch o# the Day later this evening and i# you don't !ant to &no! the

result loo& a!ay no! as !e sho! you Tony dams li#ting the cup #or rsenal."teve $ider

/ore ther ports.

-olemanballs covering other sports are too many #or one page + so here are a #e! more....

" boFer ma&es a comebac& #or t!o reasonsO either hes bro&e or he needs the money."

lan /inter (boFing

"%immy White has popped out to the toilet to compose himsel# be#ore the #inal push."

teve Davis (snoo&er

"0urther 0light seems to get better and better, although hes not as good as he !as."

Dere& Thompson (horse racing


10/27

")len /c)rath bo!led so badly in his #irst Test, as though he'd never bo!led in a Test /atch be#ore."

)eo## 3oycott (cric&et

"nce hed gone past the point o# no return, there !as no !ay bac&."

ho! jumping commentator

"That !as a beauti#ul shot. Inch per#ect + but an inch !ide."

Television commentator (gol#

"nd theres the unmista&able #igure o# %oe /ercerKor is it ester 4iggottN"

3rough cott (horse racing

"aura $obson has just made the best possible start to her pro#essional tennis career, she !on the #irst

set and lost the neFt t!o and is out."

/ar& 4ougatch (tennis

"I !as about CG siF years ago. Im BG no!."

0ran& 3runo (boFing

"The racecourse is as level as a billiard ball."

%ohn 0rancome (horse racing

"ll the reds are in the open no!, apart #rom the blue."

%ohn Virgo (snoo&er

"he's letting her legs do the running."3rendan 0oster (athletics

"These t!o horses have met #ive times this season, and theyve beaten each other on each occasion."%immy indley (horse racing

"The reason he (4into is so #ar ahead is because he's going so 2uic&ly."-harlie pedding (athletics

"Tottenham are trying tonight to become the #irst ondon team to !in this -up. The last team to do so!as the CM8 purs side."

/i&e Ingham

"I !as saying the other day, ho! o#ten the most vulnerable area #or goalies is bet!een their legs."ndy )ray

"I too& a !hac& on my le#t an&le, but something told me it !as my right."ee *endrie

;nce youve got a bull terrier, you never !ant another dog. Ive got siF bull terriers, a rott!eiler and a bulldog.<

%ulian Dic&s


11/27

;The 3ra@ilians !ere outh merica, and the A&ranians !ill be more 5uropean.<

4hil :eville

;West *am play a spe#icic type o# game 1 #ootball.<rtur 3oruc

"%avier -hevanton dont spea& the language too good."=evin 3ond

"We had a !ord !ith him about diving and since then the lads come on leaps and bounds."3illy Dodds

"I'm not going to ma&e it a target, but it's something to aim #or."teve -oppell

;Thats put a strain on his le#t+hand &nee.<

%ohn cales

;Id settle #or a C+7 dra!.<

David )old

;0or Tony dams to con#ess his alcoholism li&e that too& a lot o# bottle.<

Ian Wright

;nd in the days other #ootball match, /anchester -ity and :or!ich dre! love+all.<

0emale radio announcer, presumably a tennis #anE

;5very single player on the pitch is no! in the 3irmingham boF, apart #rom t!o o# them.<

4aul /erson

;I promise results, not promises.<

%ohn 3ond

;@il could #ind the needle in a haystac& !ith his sense o# smell.<

$ay *udson

"?ou don't score L6 goals in GL games at the highest level !ithout being able to score goals."

: )$55:, spea&ing on $adio > ive

"3ec&enbauer really has gambled all his eggs."$on t&inson

"nd !e all &no! that in #ootball i# you stand still you go bac&!ards."4eter $eid

"Wenger and /ourinho !ere acting li&e a couple o# teenage CB+year+olds."....and then

"I have only one !ord #or Wenger and /ourinho + gro! up."

%ohn *artson


12/27

"I# you're 7+7 do!n, there's no one better to get you bac& on terms than Ian Wright."

$obbie 5arle

;We didnt loo& li&e scoring, although !e loo&ed li&e !e !ere going to get a goal.<

lan 3uc&ley

"/erseyside derbies usually last M7 minutes and I'm sure today's !on't be any di##erent."

Trevor 3roo&ing

;coring three a!ay #rom home 1 you cant do better than that.<

$ay tubbs

;I# there !asnt such a thing as #ootball !ed all be #rustrated #ootballers.<

/ic& yons

"It !as siF o# a hal# and one do@en o# the other."Danny *igginbotham

"3ecause o# the boo&ing I !ill miss the *olland game 1 i# selected."4aul )ascoigne

"That's t!ice he (Terry 4helan has got bet!een himsel# and the goal."3rian /ar!ood

"-eltic manager Davie *ay still has a #resh pair o# legs up his sleeve."

%ohn )reig

"andros holding is #ace. ?ou can tell #rom that its a &nee injury."

Dion Dublin

;/anchester Anited are substituting 3lom2vist #or )iggs just to bring more legs into the game.<

Tony )ale

"*es got a &noc& on his shin there, just above the &nee."

0ran& tapleton

"It's nice #or us to have a #resh #ace in the camp to bounce things o##."

a!rie anche@

"0ootballers are no di##erent #rom human beings."

)raham Taylor

"t L #oot 8 4eter -rouch isn't as tall as he loo&s."

)abby ogan

;*e's not a lad that li&es to stand on his #eet.<

-hris Waddle


13/27

"We can't replace )ary peed + !here do you get an eFperienced player li&e him !ith a le#t #oot and a

headN"

3obby $obson

"Theyve pic&ed their heads up o## the ground, and they no! have a lot to carry on their shoulders."

$on t&inson

"I# you cut %amie -arragher open, hell bleed red."

-live Tyldesley

"ampards not the #irst player to run to the cro!d !ith lips over his mouth."

drian -hiles

"3obby $obson must be thin&ing o# thro!ing some #resh legs on."

=evin =eegan

;lan hearer has done very !ell #or us, considering his age. We have introduced some movement intohis game because he has got t!o good legs no!. ast season he played !ith one leg.<

3obby $obson

"*e just got his body bet!een himsel# and the goal."

$ay -lemence

" tremendous stri&e !hich hit the de#ender #ull on the arm + and it nearly came o##."

=evin =eegan

":eil 3a&er is standing on the touchline !ith hands in trac&suit bottoms scratching his head.")raham /c)arry

"*es very #ast and i# he gets a yard ahead o# himsel# nobody !ill catch him."3obby $obson

"s positive as rsenal !ere, I thought they !ere 2uite negative."

4eter $eid

":orthern Ireland are ten minutes a!ay #rom their #inest victory. There's C> minutes to go here."

%ohn /otson

"Women's #ootball does have its &noc&ers."drian Durham

"%ulian Dic&s is every!here. It's li&e they've got eleven Dic&s on the #ield."$adio commentator

"Anless the chairman decides to sac& me, I !ont be 2uitting."-arlton 4almer


14/27

":o regrets, none at all. /y only regret is that !e !ent out on penalties. Thats my only regret but no,

no regrets."

/ic& /c-arthy

"The 3aggio brothers, o# course, are not related."

$T5 commentator

"nd here goes guero, loo&ing to relieve himsel#."

/i&e Ingham

"*e !ent in !ith his shuds sto!ing."

)ary :eville

"ampard, as usual, arrived in the nic& o# time, but it !asn't 2uite soon enough."

lan 4arry

"$eading just had a great #ive+man move that involved everyone."4hil Thompson

"I# you gave rsene Wenger eleven players and told him to pic& his team, this !ould be it."ndy )ray

"/ario 3alotelli is li&e /armite + you either love him or hate him. /e, I'm in bet!een%oe $oyle

"Villa !ill probably play a lot !orse than this and lose."

lan 4arry

")oals dictate ho! matches go."

4aul /erson

"We havent scored !hich means you havent got a chance o# !inning."

3obby $obson

"The ne! season !ill be all about scoring more goals than the opposition."

lvin /artin

" !in !ould be better than a dra!."

Denis a!

"iverpool !ill thin& '!e could have !on this B+B'"

$on t&inson

"The best thing #or them to do (Ireland is to stay at 7+7 until they score the goal."

/artin :eill

"We (5ngland haven't been scoring goals, but #ootball's not just about scoring goals. It's about

!inning."

lan hearer


15/27

"It's a lot harder to play #ootball !hen you haven't got the ball."

ndy )ray

")oals change games."

$on t&inson

"Well, either side could !in it, or it could be a dra!"

$on t&inson

"I# you don't score you are not going to !in a match."

3obby $obson

"The #irst M7 minutes o# the match are the most important."

3obby $obson

"I# Villa got another goal no! it !ould change the scoreline completely."Tony -ottee

"We can beat anyone on our day + so long as !e score."leF Totten

"I thin& i# they hadn't scored, !e might have got a better result."*o!ard Wil&inson

"Winning all the time is not necessarily good."

%ohn Toshac&

"/ost goals are scored bet!een the posts."

%amie $ed&napp

"3atistuta gets most o# his goals !ith the ball"

Ian t %ohn

;ometimes in #ootball you have to score goals.<

Thierry *enry

;?ou have got to miss them to score sometimes.<

Dave 3assett

"The more you lose, the more you dont !in."

leF /ceish

"*e'd score more goals i# he !as a better #inisher."

Dion Dublin

" game is not !on until it is lost."

David 4leat


16/27

"iverpool have lost their last t!o 1 and they conceded in both games."

0ive ive radio commentator

"We !ere in an a!&!ard position against ?ugoslavia in that in order to !in !e needed to score moregoals than they did."

%ose ntonio -amacho

"Dumbarton player teve /c-ahill has limped o## !ith a badly cut #orehead."

Tom 0errie

"I !as disappointed to leave purs, but 2uite pleased that I did."

teve 4erryman

"I'm as happy as I can be 1 but I have been happier."

Ago 5hiogu

"I# you're going to !in the 4remier eague, you're going to have to #inish ahead o# -helsea and/anchester -ity."

)raeme ouness

"nd rsenal no! have plenty o# time to dictate the last #e! seconds."

4eter %ones

"What ma&es this game so delight#ul is that !hen both teams get the ball they are attac&ing their

opponents goal."

%immy *ill

"That's #ootball, /i&e, :orthern Ireland have had several chances and haven't scored but 5ngland have

had no chances and scored t!ice."

Trevor 3roo&ing

"nd there's $ay -lemence loo&ing as cool as ever out in the cold."

%immy *ill

"nd the ne!s #rom )uadalajara !here the temperature is ML degrees, is that 0alcao is !arming up."

3rian /oore

"ouness gave 0lec& a second chance and he grabbed it !ith both #eet."

%ames anderson

;ast night !e !ere the best team on the day.<

$oy it&en

"%i+ung 4ar& is probably not as young as he !as !hen he arrived at ld Tra##ord all those years ago."

$ay *oughton

":o matter !ho our opponents are, or !ho !e are playing against, !e !ant to !in the game."

David 3ec&ham


17/27

"Im a #irm believer that i# the other side scores #irst, you have to score t!ice to !in.<

*o!ard Wil&inson

"They ($osenborg have !on LL games, and they've scored in all o# them."3rian /oore

"The -roatians don't play !ell !ithout the ball."3arry Venison

"s a stri&er, you are either in a purple patch or struggling. t the moment, Im some!here in bet!een.<

3ob Taylor

"We're at the top o# the cli## and !e can either #all o## the edge or &eep climbing."

)ary :eville

"I# you closed your eyes you couldn't tell the di##erence bet!een the t!o sides."4hil 3ro!n

"I've only played #or Wat#ord, so I'm a one+man club."loyd Doyley

"gri@ovic !as in t!o minds as to !hether to go or stay and in the end he did neither."$adio commentator

"Their a!ay record is instantly #orgettable. The >+C de#eat and 8+7 de#eat spring to mind."

$adio > ive

"We actually got the !inner three minutes #rom the end but then they e2uali@ed."

Ian /c:ail

"*e could have done one o# three things. *e didn't do either."

)ordon trachan

"It seems that they're playing !ith one leg tied together.

=enny ansom

"There's al!ays been a #ierce rivalry bet!een purs and Tottenham."

David 4leat

"3oth sides have scored a couple o# goals, and both sides have conceded a couple o# goals."

4eter Withe

"There !ill be a game !here somebody scores more than 3ra@il and that might be the game that they

lose."

3obby $obson

"nyone !ho ta&es drugs should be hammered."

ndy )ray


18/27

"-lint Dempsey scored a last+minute !inner to earn Tottenham a C+C dra! against Anited."

lan 3ra@il

"I thin& outhampton !ill #inish above teams that are !ell belo! them."

4aul /erson

"I can never predict my #uture because a big part o# my #uture is already behind me."

)uus *iddin&

"3obby )ould thin&s I'm trying to stab him in the bac&. In #act I'm right behind him."

tuart 4earson

"In #ootball, i# you dont score a goal then you cannot !in."

$oberto /ancini

"I# you can get through the #irst round you have a good chance o# getting into the neFt one." :igel Worthington

"*e'd score more goals i# he !as a better #inisher."Dion Dublin

"he##ield Anited are attac&ing their o!n #ans."/att /urray

"With G or C7 minutes to go, !e !ere able to bring :ic&y 3utt bac& and give him C> to B7 minutes."

:iall uinn

"Thats not the type o# header you !ant to see your de#ender ma&e, !ith his hand.<

$on t&inson

;We lost because !e didn't !in.<

$onaldo

"I dont blame individuals, I blame mysel#.<

%oe $oyle

"-hester#ield C 1 -hester C. nother score dra! there in that local derby.<

Des ynam

"It's C+C, an eFact reversal o# the score on aturday."

$adio > ive commentator

"I !ould not be bothered i# !e lost every game as long as !e !on the league."

/ar& Vidu&a

"*enning 3erg, one o# the players classi#ied as a #oreigner, !hich obviously as a :or!egian is

something he's used to."

$adio commentator


19/27

"?ou can see the ball go past them, or the man, but you'll never see both man and ball go past at the

same time. o i# the ball goes past, the man !on't, or i# the man goes past, they'll ta&e the ball."

$on t&inson + and you !ill be tested on !hat he said laterE

"The important thing is that he shoo& hands !ith us over the phone."

lan 3all

"I# you need just a #irst eleven and #our others, !hy did -olumbus sail to India to discover mericaN"

-laudio $anieri and the 2uestion !hich Im sure has been on all our mindsE

"/ichael !en !ill get double #igures this season + or at least C7, possibly more."

)arth -roo&s

"Without pic&ing out anyone in particular. I thought /ar& Wright !as tremendous."

)raeme ouness

"Today !as about our lac& o# ability to not produce the ability !e've got."

am llardyce

"lly /c-oist !ill al!ays get you a goal, !hether he's playing or on the bench."

/ar& *ateley

"I don't &no! !hy !e aren't scoring as !e're &eeping clean sheets."

5d!in van der ar

"The problem at Wimbledon seems to be that the club has su##ered a loss o# complacency."

%oe =innear

"*e has got his tactics !rong tactically."

/ic& uinn

"*e reminds me o# a completely di##erent version o# $obbie 5arle."

/ar& a!renson

"$e#erees, li&e most o# us, are human beings."

4iara 4o!ers

"I al!ays used to put my right boot on #irst, and then obviously my right soc&."3arry Venison

"ampard #ired straight through the middle o# a non+eFistent !all."4aul /c=enna

"5verton have a healthy list o# injuries."/ichael !en

"The header !as cleared o## the line by the crossbar."


20/27

imon 3rotherton

"$uud )ullit !as able to impose his multi+lingual s&ills on this match."

%ohn /otson

"t this stage o# the season I just tell the players to get points under their bags."

)eorge )raham

"Theres a certain amount o# one+!ay shirt s!apping going on."

drian -hiles

"I# !e'd &ept a clean sheet tonight !e'd have !on C+7."

teve -otterill, a#ter a B+C de#eatE

"I thin& the neFt Anited manager is already at the club. It could be either $yan )iggs or le )unnar

ol&sjaer, !ho isnt at the club."

/ic&ey )ray

"It's !inner ta&es all, but a dra! !ill do."

/ar& aggers

")reat stri&ing partnerships come in pairs."

:igel pac&man

"*ope#ully ndy -arroll has only t!eeted his hamstring."

am llardyce

3rent#ord scored a last+minute !inner #our minutes #rom time."

%e## telling

"There !as nothing !rong !ith his timing, he !as just a bit late."

/ar& 3right

"$obbie =eane's not the second choice, he's my #irst choice. 3ut %ermain De#oe is as !ell."

/artin %ol

"I don't !ant to be either partial or impartial."

0ran& /cintoc&

"$amires is involved in everything he does.")raeme e auF

"The lads really ran their soc&s into the ground."leF 0erguson

"*e dribbles a lot and the opposition don't li&e it + you can see it all over their #aces"$on t&inson

"I !ant to !in the :obel 4eace 4ri@e + and I'm going to #ight as hard as I can to ma&e it happen."


21/27

$onaldo

"The underdogs !ill start #avourites #or this match."

-raig 3ro!n

"-hris 4orter scored his #irst league goal last !ee&, and hes done the same this !ee&."

%e## telling

"The game is in a neutral country #or both teams."

David 3ec&ham

"/irandinha !ill have more shots this a#ternoon than both sides put together."

/alcolm /acdonald

"I# )lenn *oddle had been any other nationality, he !ould have had 87 or G7 caps #or 5ngland."

%ohn 3arnes

"I !ouldnt be surprised i# this game !ent all the !ay to the #inish."

Ian t %ohn

"Ireland have !on a corner, and its in a very good position."

$T5 commentator

"It !ould be #oolish to believe that automatic promotion is automatic in any !ay !hatsoever."

Dave 3assett

"That !as a inch per#ect pass to no one."$ay Wil&ins

"It's not as good as dams' challenge, but it's on a par."$on t&inson

"Derby -ounty !on't be pulling up any #lo!ers in the -hampionship this season."$adio commentator (Derby #inished #ourthE

"5very single seat is absolutely pac&ed."$on %ones

"*ell probably !a&e up having sleepless nights about that one."

lan 4arry

"*e (/ichael !en is a good goalscorer, not a natural born one + not yet. That ta&es time."

)lenn *oddle

"I# you !ere in the 3rondby dressing room right no!, !hich o# the iverpool players !ould you be

loo&ing atN"$ay tubbs

"=eith )illespie just lac&s a little bit o# inconsistency."


22/27

)raeme e auF

"We dont have any problems, apart #rom the problems !e have.<

$a#a 3enite@

"Well have more #ootball later. /ean!hile, here are the highlights #rom the cottish -up #inal."

)ary :e!bon

"This is the better one. It's identical."

lan hearer

"iverpool have no! really got to !in t!o a!ay 1 one in 3arcelona, the other at home to $oma."

3ob Wilson

"s one door closes, another one shuts."

*o!ard Wil&inson

"?es, he is not unused to playing in mid#ield, but at the same time hes not used to playing there either."

5mlyn *ughes

"We actually got the !inner three minutes #rom the end but then they e2uali@ed."

Ian /c:ail

"The tac&les are coming in thic& and thin no!."

lan 3ra@il

"I# !e played li&e that every !ee&, !e !ouldn't be so inconsistent."3ryan $obson

"There are 7+7 dra!s and 7+7 dra!s, and this !as a 7+7 dra!."%ohn illett

"There are rumours o# #ractions !ithin the 4alace dressing room."haun Derry

"?ou can't say my team aren't !inners. They've proved that by #inishing #ourth, third and second in the past three seasons."

)erard *oullier, sho!ing that iverpool !erent !innersE

"?es, siF inches either side o# the post and that !ould have been a goal."$adio commentator

"omeone in the 5ngland team !ill have to grab the ball by the horns."$on t&inson

"I have seen players sent o## #or #ar !orse o##ences than that."lan 3ra@il

"nd eaman, just li&e a #alling oa&, manages to change direction."


23/27

%ohn /otson

"That could have been his second yello! card 1 i# hed already got his #irst one o# course"

Trevor 3roo&ing

;4arde! has got previous #or this &ind o# thing 1 but that !as a one+o##.<

David peedie

"The game is balanced in rsenal's #avour."

%ohn /otson

;When David 3ec&ham leaves the game, it !ill ta&e a very special player to come in and carry the

mantelpiece.<ophie :icolau

"Well, -live, it's all about the t!o /s + movement and positioning."

$on t&inson

"ne accusation you can't thro! at me is that I've al!ays done my best."

lan hearer

"In terms o# the $ichter scale this de#eat !as a #orce G gale.<

%ohn yall

"teve /c/anaman once described Pinedine Pidane as ridiculous. ?ou can't get a higher compliment

than that.<

%ason /cteer

"-hris Waddle is o## the pitch at the moment 1 eFactly the position he is at his most menacing.<

)erald instadt

"I# someone in the cro!d spits at you, you have just got to s!allo! it.<

)ary ine&er

"*e must be lightning slo!.<

$on t&inson

"The lad got over+eFcited !hen he sa! the !hites o# the goalpost's eyes."

teve -oppell

"teve 3ruce is li&e a cat on hot tin bric&s."

lvin /artin

"rsenal are streets ahead o# everyone in this league and /anchester Anited are up there !ith them."

-raig 3ellamy

"to&es gets a straight yello! #or that challenge."

$onnie Whelan


24/27

"The unthin&able is not something !e are thin&ing about at the moment."

4eter =enyon

"Id been ill and hadnt trained #or a !ee& and Id been out o# the team #or three !ee&s be#ore that, so I!asnt sharp. I got cramp be#ore hal#+time as !ell. 3ut Im not one to ma&e eFcuses."

-linton /orrison

"The #irst hal# !as end+to+end stu##. In contrast, in this second hal# its been one end to the other."

ou /acari

;I# rsenal dont #inish third, they might not #inish in third place.<

lvin /artin

"What do you thin& o# /anchester Anited's three $s + $ooney, $onaldo and van :istelrooyN"

$ob /c-a##rey

"/ar& *ughes crossed every I and dotted every T."$obbie avage getting it all !rongE

;I dont !ant $ooney to leave these shores but i# he does, I thin& hell go abroad.<Ian Wright

"The !orld is my lobster."=eith :eill

"?ou hal# #ancied that to go in as it !as rising and dipping at the same time."

$on t&inson

"I'm not a believer in luc&, but I do believe you need it."

lan 3all

"I !ill be !riting to the relevant authorities to complain, but I'm !asting my breath."

%oe $oyle

;-ole should be scoring #rom those distances, but Im not going to single him out.<

leF 0erguson

"I# you can't stand the heat in the dressing+room, get out o# the &itchen"

Terry Venables

"I don't !ant to compare 3o!ditch to /att e Tissier, but the !ay he scored his goal !as similar to

/att."

%oe $oyle

"3ec&enbauer has really gambled all his eggs."

$on t&inson

"I# history is going to repeat itsel# I should thin& !e can eFpect the same thing again."

Terry Venables


25/27

"I never comment on re#erees and I'm not going to brea& the habit o# a li#etime #or that prat."

$on t&inson, brea&ing the habit o# a li#etimeE

"?ou're on your o!n out there !ith ten mates."

/ichael !en

"I can see the carrot at the end o# the tunnel."

tuart 4earce

"I'm sure purs !ill get another opportunity, hope#ully be#ore the #inal !histle.

teve -laridge

"nd I honestly believe !e can go all the !ay to Wembley + unless somebody &noc&s us out."

Dave 3assett

"ll the cul+de+sacs are closed #or cotland."%oe %ordan

"?ou can see the relie# on 0alcao's shoulders."/ichael )ray

"There !as nothing !rong !ith the per#ormance, apart #rom thro!ing a!ay the game.")lenn *oddle

"!en scores and brea&s ine&er's competitive scoring record. lthough this being a #riendly it doesn't

actual count, so he hasn't 2uite done it yet."%ohn /otson

"It loo&s tough #or 4alace !hen you see some o# the results they've got coming up."haun Derry

"*es started anticipating !hats going to happen be#ore its even happened.")raeme e auF

"That &ind o# ball is meat and t!o drin& #or the 4alace de#ence."Denis Ir!in

"4hil Do!d chec&s his !histle and blo!s his !atch."

lan )reen

"I !ont name any names but Ill name just one, David Dein."

:iall uinn

"ur target is to get into the play+o##s. I# not, !e !ant automatic promotion.<

Dennis li o# )rays thletic 1 things must be di##erent in the non+league !orldE

"nd 3righton have beaten outhampton 6+B !hich is eFactly the same result as last year !hen they

!on +C


26/27

Des ynam

"Tony 0ernandes is in that gold#ish bo!l and hes s!imming against the tide."

:iall uinn

"4eople !ill loo& at 3o!yer and Woodgate and say QWell, theres no mud !ithout #lames."

)ordon Taylor

"Theres such a #ine line bet!een de#eat and losing."

)ary :e!bon

;The ball !as coming do!n li&e a butter#ly !ith sore #eet.<

%amie $ed&napp

"Viv nderson has pissed a #atness test."

%ohn *elm

"I# it stays as it is I can't see it altering."

)raham Taylor

"s !ith every young player these days, $onaldo is CG."

leF 0erguson

"*odge scored #or 0orest a#ter BB seconds + totally against the run o# play."

4eter oren@o

"/ichael !en is irreplaceable, but ven has 5mile *es&ey, %ames 3eattie, Wayne $ooney and DariusVassell and !hoever he pic&s can do the job."

David 4latt

"I don't !ant to give $obbie 3la&e any praise, but he !as superb."

teve -otterill

"It all !ent a bit grape+shaped."

%ason /cteer

"The )illingham players have slumped to their #eet."

/ic& uinn

"*e's signalling to the bench !ith his groin."/ar& 3right

"Who !ill !in the eagueN It's a toss o# a coin bet!een three o# them."/att le Tissier

"I !ould not say he (David )inola is the best le#t+!inger in the 4remiership, but there are none better."$on t&inson

"0or those o# you !atching in blac& and !hite, purs are in the all+yello! strip."


27/27

%ohn /otson

"nd no! the goals #rom -arro! $oad, !here the game #inished 7+7."

5lton Welsby

"*e didnt try to ta&e the net o## its hinges !ith that header."

ndy To!nsend

"%ohn 3ond has brought in a young le#t+sided mid#ield player, !ho I guess !ill play on the le#t side o#

mid#ield."%immy rm#ield

"To be a good player in the 4remiership you have to per#orm on the pitch, as it is every!here."=anu

"*e may !ell yet pull his team #rom the edge o# the cli## by the scru## o# its nec& into the land o# mil&

and honey."%onathan *ay!ard

;They !ere numerically outnumbered.<)arry 3irtles

;The game is not over until it is.<D!ight ?or&e

"/ichael !en to :e!castle is the biggest trans#er o# the season so #ar + and it !ill be until there's a

bigger one."%im White

"I can learn as much #rom Darius Vassell as he can #rom me + but he can learn more"ndre! -ole

"Id li&e to have seen Tony /orley le#t on as a do!n+and+out !inger."%immy rm#ield

;I spent #our indi##erent years at )oodison, but they !ere great years.</artin *odge

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Funny Football Quotes