GAZETTE - DECEMBER 2017.

VOLUNTEER’S BOWLS & LUNCH

SUNDAY 10th DECEMBER

9.30am Card Call

12.30pm lunch

Please put your name on the sheet for bowls and or lunch

NEWS FROM THE MEN’S CLUB 2017 Handicap Pairs Tournament The Final was won by S Ching & B McMurdy

who defeated B Popplewell & R Gregory

The 2017 CLUB FOURS CHAMPIONSHIP Final was won by A

Calvi, R Gregory, H Brenner & G Hamilton who defeated R Baveystock, L Simunovic, C

Lewis & K Wallis

News from the meN’s Club

The 2018 Men’s Pairs

Nominations close on the

3rd January. 1st round is

on the 14th January

PRESIDENT’S BOWLS REPORT FOR LADIES.

2017 MIXED PAIR'S WINNERS: HELEN STROMSMOE (GORDON) and STEVE GLIDDON (NORTHS)

This is of interest to Turramurra as Helen is coming to Turramurra. She is not only a very good bowler but is

my director for Blind bowls.

Congratulations to.......

Sue Hamilton ...elected Chairman ? Chair Lady ? Chair Person ? BOSS of North Shore District Match

Committee.. in charge anyway !

Also Marilyn Brenner on North Shore District Social Committee.

Also Helen Stromsmoe who is coming to us from Gordon is on North Shore District Selection Committee.

It's great to have 3 Turramurra ladies involved at District level.

Also a big thank you to Jeanette Staniland as she steps down as Chair ?? Person of North Shore District

Social Committee...a job well done.

We've just completed the club triples with the winners being Jan Baker, June Stamp and Marilyn

Brenner defeating Sandy White, Jeanette Browne and Sue Hamilton. Congratulations girls.

Ladies Christmas Lunch coming upon us so quickly on the Tuesday 19th which we look forward to each

year.

A big thank you to the Ladies Committee for their support and the ladies who willingly help out when help

is needed.

ALSO special thanks to everyone for being so helpful, kind and compassionate assisting Robyn Neighbour

in enabling her to continue bowling with us. Proof yet again of what a special place Turramurra Bowling

Club is. She has decided not to play anymore .... hopefully we'll see her sometimes for lunch .

OUR Gwen Graham has decided Bowls days are over for her. We will miss her; such a long serving

member at the club and bowling so well in her 90s God bless Gwen a lovely lady.

Very best wishes to all for a safe and happy Christmas with family and friends

Sandy White President Ladies Club

MIXED BOWLS REPORT

At last we have had the Final of the Mixed Fours played. It is always difficult to arrange these games with 8

players. The Teams were : Judy Cross, Marilyn Brenner, Herbie Brenner and Bob Hawtree who defeated

Yvonne Williams, Alison Walcott, Bryan Popplewell and John Dade. A good game to watch.

The Final of the Mixed Triples is yet to be played.

In 2018 the Committee will schedule the mixed games later in the year. This because Pennant games

interrupted the scheduled dates early in 2017, resulting in some games being played months after the actual

scheduled dates.

Finally Friday Bowls is in full swing. Come along and enjoy a game with the ‘Happy People’. Hosted by

Jan Baker and Yvonne Williams (see their happy photo below)

So you thought that the replaced chairs walked into the TBC all by themselves?? Chris Bergman and his

truck and many helpers had a lot to do with it. Thanks Chris.

UMPIRE MUTTERS

We have difficulty getting members of the mens’ club to volunteer to become umpires.

It is disappointing that a recently accredited umpire, in his first officiating duty had his decision

regarding bowls stickers (law 52.1.8.4 and COP 2.15) overruled with a comment “the skips have

agreed”.

This raises several points:

Firstly, all Association events, of which this was one, are played in accordance with the Bowls NSW

Conditions of Play, which open with the statement “all games will be played under the

Laws of the Sport of Bowls.” These Laws make NO provision for skips to ignore or override.

Second, and more important is the definition of the umpire’s duties, which state “the

umpire MUST make sure that all aspects of play are in line with the laws of the sport of

bowls” (43.2.5) and “the umpire’s decision is final” (43.2.6).

Under the circumstances, the umpire would have been within his rights to invoke Law C.10,

which states “Forfeited game: A game that is awarded to an opponent as a penalty for the

defaulting player, team or side not meeting the requirements of one or more laws”.

Remember, the umpire is a volunteer who has taken the time to be accredited so that he can

carry out that role for the benefit of the club and all bowlers and deserves respect.

Turramurra Bowling Club

New Uniform

For the

2018 Pennant Season Which Uniform is needed

• New Shirt

• Pennant Players 2018 (both men and ladies)

• Zone 9/District events

• NSWWBA & RNSWBA

• Current, prior and Gordon Uniform’s

• Club Championships

• Home and away carnivals

• Club selected events

• Social Bowls

• All other events

•

Availability

• Shirts

• TBC will order shirts

• Paid for with cash, credit card or points

• Initial bulk order cheaper (quantity)

• Purchase 1 or more shirts at initial pricing

• $35.00 for SSS

• $40.00 for LSS

• Shirts purchased after initial offering

• $45.00 for SSS

• $50.00 for LSS

•

SIZES & ORDERS

• GM (Charles) to receive orders

• Points (April 2018 points) + cash

• Cash/Credit Card

• Payment over bar

• Current Supplier to provide new shirts

• Sizes to be same as current

MAHJONG AND CARD DAY

Card days will resume on the 15th January 2018.

Mahjong continues as usual on Mondays as from 1pm. The last day is 11th December, and

resuming again on Monday 8th January 2018.

Enquiries: Jeanette Staniland 9489 5616 – and Val Parry 9144 2473

MEN’S AND MIXED BOWLS PROGRAMME FOR DECEMBER 2017

SAT 2 DEC All Sponsored Day iTALK TRAVEL

SUN 3 DEC All Savills C M Handicap Pairs SAVILLS Cordeau Marshall

WED 6 DEC M Sponsored Day SOUTHERN CROSS CARE

SAT 9 DEC All Sponsored Day TURRAMURRA COMMUNITY BANK

SUN 10 DEC All Volunteers Day

WED 13 DEC M Sponsored Day GUARDIAN FUNERALS

SAT 16 DEC All Sponsored Day GOLDRICK FARRELL MULLAN

SUN 17 DEC All 3rd Sunday Mufti SAVILLS Cordeau Marshall

WED 20 DEC M Sponsored Day SAVILLS Cordeau Marshall

SAT 23 DEC All

SUN 24 DEC All 4th Sunday SAVILLS Cordeau Marshall

MON 25 DEC ~ CHRISTMAS DAY / CLUB CLOSED

TUE 26 DEC All Boxing Day

WED 27 DEC All

SAT 30 DEC All

SUN 31 DEC All New Year's Eve

BOWLS PROGRAMME FOR LADIES DECEMBER 2017

Tue 5 DEC Social bowls / Photos SAVILLS Cordeau Marshall

Thu 7 DEC Social bowls

Sat 9 DEC TBC Club Christmas Dinner

Tue 12 DEC Social bowls / Committee meeting EXCLUSIVE MEATS

Tue 19 DEC Ladies Christmas Lunch

SUPPORTING TURRAMURRA BOWLING CLUB SINCE 2007

7 Stores including IGA Bobbin Head, IGA Turramurra, IGA Galston, IGA Belrose plus Liquor,

IGA St Ives, IGA Wangi Wangi plus Liquor & IGA Rouse Hill.

High Quality Produce and products

Excellent Customer Service

Wide range of products

Home delivery

Fresh Bread Rolls daily

Hot Chickens

And lots more.... Looking forward to seeing you in store!

MELBOURNE CUP DAY

Wonderful photos, thank you Jan Baker.

Only in America……

.

AUSTRALIAN LETTER - I think the sender might have been upset!

This is an actual letter sent to the DFAT (Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade) Immigration Minister.

The Government tried desperately to censure the author, but got nowhere because every legal person who read

it couldn’t stop laughing !

Dear Mr Minister,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.

How is it that K-Mart has my address and telephone number, and knows that I bought a television set and golf

clubs and condoms from them back in 1997, and yet the Federal Government is still asking me where I was

born and on what date ?

For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand ? My birth date you have in my Medicare information, and it

is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 40 years.

It is also on my driver's licence, on the last eight passports I've ever had, on all those stupid customs declaration

forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off planes over the past 30 years.

It's also on all those insufferable census forms that I've filled out every 5 years since 1966. Also... would

somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Audrey, my father's name is Jack, and

I'd be absolutely bloody astounded if that ever changed between now and when I drop dead !!!

SHIT! What do you people do with all this information we keep having to provide?

I apologize, Mr. Minister. But I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you and me, I've had enough of all

this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my bloody address!

What the hell is going on with your mob? Have you got a gang of mindless Neanderthal arseholes working

there?!

And another thing, look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I can't even grow a beard for God's

sakes. I just want to go to New Zealand and see my new granddaughter. (Yes, my son interbred with a Kiwi

girl). And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether or not I plan on visiting a farm in

the next 15 days? In the unlikely event I ever got the urge to do something weird to a sheep or a horse, believe

you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!

Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other side of Sydney, and get another bloody copy of my birth

certificate - and to part with another $80 for the privilege of accessing MY OWN INFORMATION!

Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot, to assist in the issuance of a new passport

on the same day? Nooooo that'd be too bloody easy and makes far too much sense.

You would much prefer to have us running all over the bloody place like chickens with our heads cut off, and

then having to find some 'high-society' wanker to confirm that it's really me in the goddamn photo! You know

the photo... the one where we're not allowed to smile?...you bloody morons.

Signed - An Irate Australian Citizen.

P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture, and getting someone in 'high-society' to confirm that it's

me?

Well, my family has been in this country since before 1820! In 1856, one of my forefathers took up arms with

Peter Lalor. (You do remember the Eureka Stockade!)

I have also served in both the CMF and regular Army for something over 30 years (I went to Vietnam in 1967),

and still have high security clearances. I'm also a personal friend of the president of the RSL...Lt General Sir

Peter Cosgrove sends me a Christmas card each year.

However, your rules require that I have to get someone "important" to verify who I am; you know...someone

like my doctor - WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN BLOODY PAKISTAN!...a country where they either

assassinate or hang their ex-Prime Ministers - and are suspended from the Commonwealth and United Nations

for not having the "right sort of government"..

You are all pen-pushing paper-shuffling bloody idiots! (Thank you Herbie for this treasure. Ed)

(I wish all members of Turramurra Bowling Club a very Happy Christmas and a fabulous New Year, with good health

and lots of fun on the bowling green. Yeah! Happy 2018 to all. Cheers – Eva Morris Ed.) evabrik@bigpond.net.au