GET YOUR EX BACK

WITH

THE SECOND CHANCE LETTER

Influential Maneuvers for Relationship Management

By R Rowley

Copyright Rich Rowley 2013. All Rights Reserved

www.ExBackBlackBook.com

Table of Contents

Introduction

Everything You Need to Know About the Second Chance Letter

Objective of the Second Chance Letter

Important Factors and Ground Rules

Effective Methods for Getting Someone To Return Your Call Or Text

The Monkey's Fist Strategy

Using the Force to Deflect the Blow

Conscious Retraining Method

Training Anyone to Act the Way You Want

Don’t Forget

Introduction

What made you grab this book and start reading it? Perhaps, you are struggling with some very

strong feelings of pain and confusion over the loss of a meaningful relationship? Right now,

nothing matters much except finding your way back to that someone very dear to you but you are

not really certain where to go from here.

The relationship ended! How or why is not important. The thing that is important is your

dedication to this partnership that brought you here. You are here to understand where and how

to begin putting your relationship back together and this is so very commendable on your part.

It will be completely essential that you accept the situation as it currently is in order to

understand "loves principals" and begin to mend the damage. It will be extremely important to

also have the key knowledge needed for winning back your love.

There are a few initial steps that you must understand on what may help your future relationship

or cause irreparable damage. From this moment forward it is imperative not to panic over your

current status.

Take a true break from the relationship now that the break up has occurred. Do not be compelled

to push buttons, make calls, send texts or make any sort of negative contact. Contact altogether is

not advisable at this point.

Once you have followed the tips and tricks laid out in The Second Chance Letter and studied

some very influential maneuvers for relationship management then you will know more what to

do and when it is acceptable.

Now is the time to remove the splinter in your relationship, to figure out where the relationship

went wrong and to take a good look at the positives. Making note of the negatives is essential for

a full picture of what must be done.

You have a lot of work before you and here you have a great plan to follow with a treasure of

secrets designed to get your ex back.

Everything You Need To Know About the Second

Chance Letter

Tips and Tricks for A Successful Plan - www.ExBackBlackBook.com

When we think of a second chance at something, then there is a good indication that the first

chance may not have gone so well for some reason. In a relationship, if you messed up the first

attempt, then you will need to make a serious appeal for one more opportunity. You will need a

very well orchestrated plan in order to be worthy of this second chance. Without a great strategy,

few things are ever won.

There are some secret tips that will help guide you to success and be very beneficial about

clueing you in on when and how to make positive contact with your ex. First off though, you

must accept that you are at this moment in time in an ex relationship and any big mistakes that

you have made since the break up must be fixed the right way.

The important thing in planning your strategy is to know where and when to act as well as how

and what you will say. You certainly do not want to start off with committing any acts of

desperation if you have not already. You will certainly not get your foot back in the door by

seeming hasty or letting your ex think that you are deprived.

Masterful Letter with A Flare, How When and Where

In getting prepared to start your winning letter, always plan on a nice handwritten letter that will

be delivered and not sent by email. A handwritten letter will seem more personal and will signify

the importance of the contents. Never text, instant message or type something of such personal

value. This is one important way to know without a doubt that your words will be read.

The best timing would be within a few days of the break-up and before you have the opportunity

for your broken heart to take control of the situation. If you have already said or done some

foolish things, then the letter must be used to correct them. Of course if you are in the midst of

lighting the fire under an old partnership the letter would be inappropriate and could not be used

effectively.

Objective of the Second Chance Letter

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Your main Objective for writing this letter is to convey an "all is well" feeling to your ex. In all

honesty. your ex will not miss you if confident that you are in total misery over the break. Have

you ever noticed how you just might drive yourself to the point of insanity, looking for

something that you have misplaced? Then you know that things are fine unless you have noticed

that something is missing. That is when you realize it is not within your reach.

Now you are writing this letter and you have let your ex know that you are letting go of the ties

that bind. In essence, you have given your ex permission to miss you. In giving permission to be

missed, you have just thrown your ex off balance psychologically. It is in our nature as humans

to follow a certain behavioral pattern.

Components Affecting Our Psychological Behavior here

1) We are inclined to make presumptions.

2) We will struggle harder to keep what we have than acquire something new.

3) We are inclined to always want what we may not have.

4) We are inclined to desire the things that are just out of reach.

Now if we take that recipe and add just a dash of mystery, and a pinch of enchantment then your

letter is going to have a most delightful flavor.

Important Factors and Ground Rules

We will start out working from an example type letter outline which you can change to suit your

personal circumstance while keeping in mind that you are totally calm and are now prepared to

accept the break up.

Short and Sweet Apology...for acting out about something...or some small infraction that may

have occurred, offer a very concise apology. Make certain that it is only in regard to a slight

mistake. Never include a big event and make certain that is something that actually occurred.

Write only two or three lines and never mention anything serious here that may have taken place.

Put on a Happy Face...this next ground rule has to do with getting their attention and leaving

them with the clear impression that you are content. Some great subject matter to get this

emotion across would be any type of good luck that you have encountered. Just bring yourself

out of your present state of depression if that is what you feel and realize something, anything

that has been good fortune for you.

This bit of good luck as before does not need to be anything major but it does need to be well

thought out before hand and an actual happening. Never mention any details about the event in

your letter.

Is this making sense so far?

The "impact" of your letter will hit your ex when they picture you in their mind as content and

now capable of making it on your own. As far as your instance of good luck could be something

as simple as having found that cherished picture that you had been looking for while you were

clearing out a few things.

Before ending the letter...let your ex know that the two of you need some room and time to

yourselves, but that you would really like to fill them in on your good luck later.

Now here is an example of The Miracle Second Chance Letter you may use as a guide for

composing your own.

In Hand Writing:

Hi Bill,

I just wanted to send you a little note and tell you that I am fine with your choice to break up.

I felt it brewing for some time now.

I did also want you to know that I apologize for calling you out of your meeting last week

when I could not find the spare house key. It was wrong to accuse you of taking it and I am

sorry that I made such a big deal about it.

By the way, I had some really good luck on Monday and I am so excited about it. The timing

could not have been more perfect. I just can't wait to share with you, but later would be best.

We both just need a breath of fresh air right now and some time to relax.

Mary

The letter has a very impressive impact when used with a complete Ex Back System.

You should not even be shocked if your ex makes and attempt to get in touch with you

immediately after receiving the letter.

Do not reciprocate or respond to any attempted contact from your ex at this time.

You must stick to the whole plan as it is set forth in the above mentioned system.

If they are persistent in trying to reach out to you, just let them know that you did notice that they

had tried to reach you and you will get back to them as soon as you possibly can.

Caution...please under any circumstances, do not make the mistake of believing that everything

is magically fine at this point.

This part has been a great maneuver but it is only the beginning gesture.

Now?

Let's pretend for a moment that you have planned for some time to attend a concert for you

favorite star. You have the tickets purchased and the big night is finally here. You are very

excited and as the music begins your heart starts pumping it is amazing, one of your all time

favorites.

The crowd goes wild and then...

Your star looks out into the audience as if looking at only you and says, "Thank You and Good

Night"

You are totally left speechless like what the ___________? And you are angry because you were

set to rock on with the concert.

THIS is what will most likely happen if you simply deliver your letter and anticipate that all will

be just great from that point on.

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It can never be stressed strongly enough that you do follow all guidelines as they are set out.

Once you have gotten back together with your ex, you will want the relationship to be stronger

than ever and have a renewed sense of devotion and appreciation for one another.

This magic will only occur when you have followed through with the complete system.

Effective Methods for Getting Someone To Return

Your Call Or Text

Caution!

Please remember that at this site there is an entire strategy laid out for you to follow.

If you attempt to isolate and use any single portion of the plan without the "entire" strategy put in

play you may severely damage your relationship more than if you had made no contact at all!

What NEVER to Say!

First let's talk about what types of message are not a good idea to use and could just possibly

place you in a terrible 'psychological' standing.

The two areas that could bring about a negative effect are:

The Pleading Message- For example "Tom would you please, just pick up the phone or call me

back. This is the sixth time I have called. I have GOT to talk to you right away"

Or The Emergency Message-

Mary, this call is an absolute emergency. You really need to call as soon as you get my message

please.

I think that if you have ever tried one of these methods, you already realize that they have an

even more damaging effect. If you have never experienced a break up before then think carefully

before using an urgency approach to reach out with.

Create Curiosity & Self Interest Using Both To Influence www.ExBackBlackBook.com

Curiosity & self interest are your power tools. They both carry a huge impact on the human

mind.

Important News Flash!

Together these two components work as a powerful team that can produce a magical effectively

in relationships.

Keeping this in mind we can now talk about what you WILL be able to say that ALWAYS

WORKS.

Keep our tone positive and friendly

"Hi Tom, It's Mary. I thought you should know that I really appreciated your little act of

kindness. I think it was just super! Call if you have the chance because I would love to thank

you in person."

Does this make sense to you that you have now aroused both curiosity and self interest with this

polite message to your ex?

Tom is going to find your message irritable. This is where curiosity will have "Tom the cat" and

we all know what brought the cat back! He will be needing to know "What did I do for her?"

"What does she think is super?" Both parties are going to feel good because a positive contact

has been established.

Before making contact, you will need to "Establish A Plan"....which means for you to know

beforehand exactly what act of kindness you do so appreciate.

This act does not have to be anything major.....but it does need to be believable.

Please remember once again. You WILL GET A CALL BACK if you use this method so it is

EXTREMELY important to hang with the main ideas set forth at

http://www.ExBackBlackBook.com

The Monkey's Fist Strategy

Just Could Be the Most Effective Influential

Strategy Ever Used

Imagine yourself standing on the deck of a huge ship that is getting ready to dock in port. You

see the crewman preparing to moor the vessel and then you notice that the ropes which tie the

ship to the dock are gigantic. They are about as big around as a man's thigh and super long. How

on earth could even the greatest of seaman hurl such a rope so that it could reach the pier?

As you continue to observe, you will notice that no one even makes the attempt to hurl the

massive hawser rope.

Instead, you see one average crewman toss a small iron ball known as a monkey's fist that is

attached to a thin rope about clothesline size .

The longshoreman standing down on the pier will catch the ball and pull the thin rope toward

him. If you look down into the water, you will notice the hawser rope weighing several hundred

pounds making its way to the pier.

Now you may be wondering at this point just how the Monkey's Fist can help with your

objective and why it could be considered one of the most powerful MIND MAGIC TRICKS that

you could put into play. Or, perhaps a light came on and you can already see the value of the

Monkey's Fist as a valuable and influential ploy for many situations.

Do You Know?

One Small Step to One Giant Goal.

The idea behind The Monkey's Fist would be to begin with the smallest step that can be taken

with success and getting to the main goal. We can look at some examples of the strategy and

how it will fit into your goals should all make perfect sense.

Remember to first think of your main goal and realize it is one giant step from where you are at

this moment. Then, think of the smallest possible step toward that goal and aim for that minor

step first.

How Effective and Influential Is the Monkey's Fist?

This strategy was used against our American soldiers who were held captive by the North

Koreans. The North Koreans used two Mind Magic Tricks but for the moment we will only look

at The Monkey's Fist and how it was successful for their mission. We will first note that the goal

of the Korean forces was to have American POW's admit that America was responsible for the

war.

Since simply handing them a confession and saying sign on the dotted line was not an option that

was getting any results, it became quite clear that perhaps a very small concession may lead to

greater admissions of guilt.

Now let's just pretend that we are the Koreans and we really want to get a confession signed,

sealed and delivered. We have tried starvation, physical abuse and just telling them to sign the

thing. So far no such luck.

Discouraged.

It occurs to us that possibly if we start out with much smaller stages...then perhaps we just may

get these head-strong Americans to sign?

Perhaps if we only could get them to review our confession?

Now, we are going to just go and show them the paper and let them know that they just need to

look it over, it is not necessary to sign at all..just look it over.

Well guess what? This did not work either...

It is not time to give up right?

What we have to do is get down to the smallest possible step that we can imagine.

Just getting them to agree that "America is not perfect" (tiny step)...grows into Korea is not the

only ones who made mistakes here(a little bigger? Getting one of the POW's to admit in front of

his buddies that "his country did take a small stand in the war." (stages growing and new mind

magic trick in play) ultimately will lead to getting one confession signed that details America's

position in the war leads to getting many confessions signed.

Of course the idea is to make small measures to get to big goals.

It has been said that the government uses this similar tactic in order to gain our support for

matters such as taxation. We all as good citizens admit that we should offer support for our

community. We then agree to pay a small tax for that support. That tax then just keeps increasing

over time.

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Remember those tests that you did with frogs in science class? Did you know that a frog will not

jump out of scalding water if the heat has only been turned up a tiny bit at a time. He does not

notice. On the other hand, if you go too fast he will notice and jump out.

Now how is the Monkey Fist going to help you?

Think about your main goal!

The main objective is of course getting back together with your ex although the same idea may

be applied to many objectives personal and professional.

Right at this moment in time this is probably too great of a step to take on.

Would you agree the next step down would be to get your ex to at least agree to see you again?

Make sense?

Now consider an even smaller step...possibly dinner and a movie? Or meet for lunch?

Lunch is smaller right?

Can you maybe think of something even smaller?

Does your ex drink coffee?

How could a cup of coffee together hurt right?

(Especially, if you have been following along with the strategy from our site.)

Possibly.we could get even smaller suggesting and getting them to agree...that it may be alright

to have coffee some day in the future.

Aha.

Is the Monkey's Fist starting to sound like something you can use positively?

If Monkey's Fist is found to be effective with POW's to commit treasonous acts and good

Americans to allow themselves to be taxed to the hilt then just think of how easy it would be to

escalate one tiny cup of coffee in the future into a new start with an old romance!

Using The Force To Deflect The Blow ...Self Image

Judo Magic (S.I.J.)

Judo is a martial art skill where movement, balance, and leverage are put into action to defeat

your opponent. The objective is to use your opponent's strength against him and it can be hugely

effective. Judo is a fluid process where the challenges are not always the same. Each challenge

must be faced as a unique and individual dilemma. Self Image Judo (S.I.J.) is entirely flexible.

This strategy has been used effectively in many instances as a maneuver to beat a bigger

(stronger) competitor. The same principals can be applied to influence a person's behavior (

without the deadly body slam.)

The magic of this maneuver is very easy to do. www.ExBackBlackBook.com

This is a 2 step plan:

1. Get someone to admit a belief that they currently have.

2. Now introduce the plan you have in mind for them and stay consistent with their pre

stated belief.

Let's just take a look at an example of (S.I.J.)

For the example let's pretend that I would like to have my employer take time to just listen to a

business idea that I have put together (this could also start as the first step in the Monkey's Fist).

Mary: Do you believe that it is essential to keep an open mind in all business dealings?

Boss: That is a key part of any successful business venture. It keeps the doors open.

Mary: I was certain that you felt that way. I have always seen you as a fair and flexible man

with an open mind.

Boss: Thanks Mary! Did you have something that you needed to discuss with me?

Mary:( Has an idea in mind that will surely get heard now.)

( Note: there may be a better time to really go into the ideal at length.)

Remember this strategy is very flexible!

Here is a real business example that can offer more into the magic of (S.I.J):

The owner of a new restaurant was getting off to a very bad start with customers making

reservations and then not coming in or returning a call to cancel.

His business was suffering to the tune of about 30% for "no show" no cancel reservation loss.

By interjecting the S.I.J. technique, he was able to improve this loss by 60%.

Interested?

Here is what he did.

When the rate was at the worst percentage the ending result of the hostess conversation was,

"please call if there is a change in your plans."

(no results no show no call 30%.)

Next, the owner told the hostess to ASK? "Will you call if you change your plans?"

(results cut no show no call...to..10%)

The reason for the big difference was that the customer obligated themselves out loud and agreed

that they would certainly call if they needed to cancel. The customer made the implication to the

hostess that they are courteous and concerned. The effect was that they called if anything

changed.

This example could perhaps have even gotten better if the hostess would have had the end of the

conversation go something like: "We have the most courteous customers and they call when their

plans change.Will you let us know if you have a change in plans?"

The self image of being courteous is now no longer implied but we have come right out and said

it.

Self Image Judo can work in many situations and be a great selling tool. It can be used for fund

raising events or just about any situation where you are needing to reach out to people.

Let's take a look at an example of collecting for a fundraiser and see how S.I.J can make a

difference.

A most common practice used in fundraising calls is to first make a connection with a list of the

previous donors in hopes that they will be the very first to gladly give once more.

Sounds so easy right?

If however, we apply the SIJ technique it will all go a lot easier.

Let us review a conversation between agent and donor to get the idea.

agent: Hi there, I am calling on behalf of The Special Olympics.

Donor: (very disapproving mannerism) I gave you guys money already.

(ROAD BLOCK!) This was normally about the end of the conversation until SIJ was introduced.

So after SIJ we continue something like this:

agent: I know that is just the reason that I am calling.

Donor: Oh it is?

agent: I wanted to take this opportunity and thank you so much for your previous support. You

just really need to know how very appreciated you really are by these boys and girls. It makes

them feel so great to be able to get out there and be able to compete in sporting events and they

are all so very special.

With times as they are it is so difficult to get people just to lend a hand. It seems as if people are

so busy, they can't be troubled. On behalf of the children they wanted you to know what a caring

and very special person you are too!

Donor: Well they are just so welcome. It was really nothing. I was glad to help.

agent: Great! You may already know that the young athletes are getting geared up for this

season's events. (NOTE; At this point, obtaining a donation is almost a sure fire proposition.)

This same idea will work with people that have not given before. (FLEXIBILITY!)

It is in our nature as human beings to enjoy viewing ourselves as generous fair and caring among

several other positives that may be added to that list.

Therefore, if you get someone to agree to a quality trait or a behavior and then introduce the

thing that you would like for them to do that is consistent with that behavior or trait.

Parents often use this technique with their offspring in order to project a self image for them to

MEASURE UP TO. Keep in mind that if something works with children it will also work very

well with adults.

A father who would like his young son to share his candy with his sister may say something like

"Tommy, you are always so kind and thoughtful, could you share your candy with your sister?"

Even if Tommy is at the last bite he will most generally agree to share.

(CRM) Conscious Retraining Method

Training Anyone to Act The Way You Want

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Unbelievable as it may seem, it is completely possible to train someone to behave a certain way.

We do this every single day without even giving it a second thought. I know you may think that

you try very hard all the time to make people do what you want and it never works. Perhaps that

is because we need to really make ourselves conscious of the signals that are sent out. So let's

just take a look at how we send out training signals each day.

I know that probably every one of us has waited by the phone for someone to call.

a friend you wait a loved one you check for a missed call son or daughter you look at the clock

and on and on the point being the call in your eyes is long past due.

Finally the phone rings and the adrenalin hits you.You answer,

So what did you say? Think very clearly, what did you say? Generally without thinking most of

us say something like:

"It is about time you called! I have been waiting for forever and it is just wrong for you to

do me that way!"

You have actually just now sent out the training message that says calling you equals pain.

The signal received is calling = feeling guilty = feeling pain.

Does that hit home?

People do anything or act in a certain way for two reasons.

1. They are looking forward to the things that give them pleasure.

2. They are getting away from the things that bring them pain.

Remember that these are the two important motivators. You must give people a sense of pleasure

if you want them to act in a certain way and of pain when they act otherwise.

Make certain this information is implanted into your memory.

A mother would certainly receive more phone calls from her children by approaching the

conversation with:

"Mary I am so glad you called. You are a very thoughtful daughter"

Now Mary is looking forward to the feeling of pleasure she receives when she calls her mother.

Conscious Retraining Method can be put to use with each and every encounter that you make

contact with someone. It will be very helpful for you here to take into your past behavior in the

relationship and analyze just what type of training signals you have been sending out.

How does your ex react when they see or talk to you?

If your ex is a non defensive person generally then you will be able to rekindle your relationship

when you become aware of the situation, take control and begin retraining any future

confrontations.

Examine.

1. The type of behavior that you would like your ex to exhibit.

2. Have I been training them to feel pain or pleasure which has brought about this unwanted

behavior?

3. If I wish a NEW behavior to come about, what NEW pain or pleasure will be required?

4. Keep going over step 3 until the retraining process has been achieved.

Now we can give this a trial run by example.

1. What is the type of behavior that I need to see? I would like for her not to cry when we

are having a difference of opinion. I always seem to give in and she always seems to cry.

2. What is the pain or pleasure that I am connecting to their current unwanted

behavior? ( It is very important here not to rationalize and think it is all their fault but to

own your part in the problem) I am giving her some pleasure by shutting up and listening

when she cries. She in turn is moving away from the pain of being unheard and feeling

unimportant.

3. What is the new connecting pain and pleasure? Start off making her feel heard and

important before the tears. Often times all you need is the pleasure.

4. Be Consistent If it took several years to train the current unwanted behavior then you

will need to use a method to "Clean The Slate" This method will cut down on the number

of times that you will need to repeat the new training and explain YOUR new behavior at

the same time.

It will be necessary to practice as I mentioned with everyone you encounter in order to develop a

natural skill at acquiring the desired results. Soon you will CONTROL mostly all of your

relationships and interactions.

Because you are training the people that you encounter to feel SIGNIFICANT when they see

your face or hear your voice, they are going to feel good.

The more effective you become with the CRM method, the more success and happiness you are

going to have in your life.

Don’t Forget

What you have read today, although powerful and very effective is only one part of the bigger

picture, plan and system. Don’t forget to visit our website where you will learn more and

discover more of the system.

Warning – We can’t possibly include all of the greatest relationship/ex back strategies on our

site. It’s far too exposed. Make sure you look out for our most recommended resources and key

locations once you’re inside www.ExBackBlackBook.com

You will find them if you look!

R. Rowley