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March 1, 2013 / 19 Adar 5773 Happy Purim, Tigers! In This Issue Purim Day Costume Contest Purim Spiels Community Service YPI for Shalva IHSA Regional Champions Mooseheart's Big Challenge David Vs. Goliath CJHS in the News Security Updates Candid Camera The Best Week of the Year

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Page 1: Happy Purim Tigers

March 1, 2013 / 19 Adar 5773

Happy Purim, Tigers!

In This Issue

Purim Day

Costume Contest

Purim Spiels

Community Service

YPI for Shalva

IHSA Regional

Champions

Mooseheart's Big

Challenge

David Vs. Goliath

CJHS in the News

Security Updates

Candid Camera

The Best Week of the Year

Page 2: Happy Purim Tigers

From The Editor

Save the Date

Tuesday, March 5 -

Sunday, March 10

Model U.N. Trip

Thursday, March. 14

Pi Day

Friday, March 15

Friday 2:45 Dismissal

Begins

Monday, March 25

Pesach Break Begins

P. O. Corner

Gelt Program The P.O. is pleased to once again introduce the gift card "Gelt program" to our families and we have made it much easier (look for upcoming email with details on how to register). Faculty and

staff can also buy Gelt that will help to support programs provided for the school by the P.O. This program is designed to help families earn money toward their children's junior year Panim program and/or the Senior Israel Experience. The program is a passive earning system, in which you buy the things you ordinarily purchase anyway, and earn money which will be credited to your family for designated school trips. If you have any questions, contact Sheri Sandrof at [email protected] or call her at 847.324.3723.

Community News

and Events

Moriah Welcomes Rabbi

Harold Kushner

What day is it when cookies come

first and praying comes second, when

Mr. Baumstark is present and punctual

at tefillah while you don't come

lounging in until 9 a.m.? When Ms.

Gleicher-Bloom's baby is better

behaved than you are? Well, here at

CJHS, we call it MONDAY--I mean,

we call it Shushan Purim!

The ruach was flowing as Rachel

Rubinstein sped us through

shacharit with a dozen different funny

voices--not counting the restrained little whimper when

half a dozen masked mimes converged on the bimah with every sign of intimidation.

The faculty took over the Torah service in the annual

rebellion against student leadership, with Ms. Frankel's

fiercely patriotic "O Canada" rendition of the leyning

complemented by Rabbi Feinsmith's "Fiddler on the Roof"

cantorial style. And as the shaliach tzibbur was tackled by

her little brother and carried from the amud, Shushan Purim services came to a rousing conclusion.

Page 3: Happy Purim Tigers

Sunday, March 10 5:00 p.m. Moriah Congregation 200 Taub Dr, Deerfield Rabbi Kushner is the author of more than a dozen books including the bestseller When Bad Things Happen to Good People. For tickets, bio of Rabbi Harold Kushner, and additional information visit www.moriahcong.org or call 847.948.5340.This event is co-chaired by CJHS parents Jennifer and Stewart Flink, as well as Sheri and Neil Cooper.

American Friends of

Israeli War Disabled

Presents...

"Everything Is Illuminated" Sunday, March 17 2:00 p.m. Noyes Cultural Center 927 Noyes Street, Evanston

The Next Theater Company's upcoming production is Jonathan Safran Foer's Everything is Illuminated, adapted for the stage by Simon Block. It chronicles a young Jewish man's journey as he struggles to unlock the secrets of his past. It follows the quirky journey of Jonathan scouring the rural Ukraine landscape in the search of a woman who may have saved his grandfather from the Nazis, accompanied by an old man haunted by memories of the war, an amorous and excitable dog named Sammy Davis Jr. Jr., and an irreverent translator with a unique grasp of the English language

Join us at 1:00 p.m. before the show for an hour of light refreshment and camaraderie at the Noyes Cultural Center in the studio right next door to the theater entrance. The play begins at 2:00 p.m. Advance copies of the script will be available and we are invited to a

Since Deerfield was not a walled city in the time of Joshua,

we do not read the

Megillah on Shushan

Purim. Instead,

SuperFeinsmith treated

us to the Purim Hillbilly

Jamboree, as composed

and performed by Rabbi

Feinsmith and his cadre

of pantomiming,

shimmying rabbi

dancers. If you thought

last year's Jib-Jab show was funny, you ain't seen nothing

yet; many thanks to pirate king Arthur Sredni and fairy

queen Maddy Mynatt for contributing funny hats to the performance.

Rabbi Feinsmith's attempts to elicit on-

the-spot guest lyrics from the audience

yielded a, "Ruff ruff ruff!" from the

Page 4: Happy Purim Tigers

special post-show discussion with members of the cast and artistic team.

The cost for this wonderful afternoon is only $36.00 per

person. Make your checks out to AFIWDF.

Sponsor Breakfast

What's better than a birthday celebration with friends? Celebrate your student's birthday or other milestone with a special breakfast at CJHS. For a donation of $180 (10x chai), bagels, cream cheese, and orange

juice will be served to everyone. An announcement will be made in Tefillah and in the dining hall, and the occasion will also be listed in our weekly E-News. If you have any questions, please call 847.324.3713 or email [email protected]. Order forms are available online here.

Opa: CJ Style!

Roll into school, head to tefillah

at 8:05, Sign in at the front desk 'cause I

didn't get here on time... Makin' this a habit is upsettin' to

the rabbi, But for sleep, I need those extra

five!

I smell breakfast near, Hope it's sponsored by someone,

I got my bagel here, I'll grab three so you get none,

Got my favorite shmear, the cream cheese with the onion,

Gonna spread it on... the cinnamon raisin.

And there goes Bruce on the

speaker, "You're all world class!

You're fabulous!" And there goes Bruce on the

speaker,

hapless Evan Gorstein and some truly original commentary

from Mrs. Eliaser who is certain to be fired for this as soon

as the administration finishes laughing off Rabbi Robkin's

Vashti dance.

Happy Purim, you big, bad Tigers!

Costumed Concepts

According to Tractate Megillah 47c,

every member of the community is

required to sport a fantastic costume

on whichever day Purim is

celebrated in school. Rabbi Eliezer

states that a costume consists

minimally of a humorous paper sign;

Rabbenu Zechariah says that street

clothes are acceptable if it is made

perfectly clear that you are dressed

as someone else. Yoni Gabel says

that bigdei Shabbos are acceptable

as long as you hide behind a camera and take pictures of

everyone else's costumes, but the chachamim do not

permit this.

2013 was the Year of the Brigade! Into morning shacharit

Page 5: Happy Purim Tigers

"You're all world class! You're fabulous!

You're the best group of people-- I'm so impressed!!!"

Opa: CJ Style!

Heyyyyy Tiger Ladies...

Bum-bum-bum Opa: CJ Style! Heyyyyy Tiger Ladies...

Bum-bum-bum Opa: CJ Style!

The bell rings for class, but instead I head to Nancy...

We catch up on the gossip, so I tell her all my stories...

Talk out all my troubles, how my homework load affects me...

With my pass in hand after my kvetching-spree!

Got my phone in class,

I hope the teacher doesn't see

me texting all my pals-- No filters for my browsing! My phone's got wireless!

No note-taking-- I'm busy! I'll Facebook my friends & stalk

teacher pages!

And there goes Bruce on the speaker,

"You're all world class! You're fabulous!"

And there goes Bruce on the speaker,

"You're all world class! You're fabulous!

You're the best group of people-- I'm so impressed!!!"

Opa: CJ Style!

Quick Links

Our

Website

Online Calendar

Trumba

Calendar Tips

trooped the ninja

brigade, the biker

brigade, the hockey

team, the Waldo

posse, an army of

mimes, and flock of

hippies. The

sophomores took first

honors stealing the

traditional senior black

for the Nivo brigade, while the language department came

Gagnam-style and the math teachers revved up their

leather jackets, Harleys, and protractors as Hell's Angles

[sic]. And--RUFF RUFF RUFF--who let the dogs out?

Someone let the junior boys off their leashes for the

morning, because they were out in force, waggling their

ears, fetching hats, pretending to widdle on anything tall

and vertical, and answering every prayer with enthusiastic cries of, "RUFF-RUFF!"

Page 6: Happy Purim Tigers

2012-2013 Year

Calendar

Lunch Menu

Join the Tiger

Club

Smaller groups and individuals were

equally spectacular. Wicked awesome

Shira Harris and Jessica Hochberg

came as Elphaba and Galinda; seniors

Zach Erlichman and Shelly Dekalo

came as Jionni and Snooki, complete

with muscle suit, big hair, and a plastic

baby which Rabbi Feinsmith ended up

raising for them. We saw cubes and

tourists,

firefighters and

flower fairies

and Mormon missionaries, Oscar,

Elmo, and Kermit. Miranda

Smerling and Rachel

Rubinstein came as politics

personified: the Elephant in the

Room, complete with NRA,

spending cuts, and Fox News,

versus the

tree-hugging,

granola-

scarfing, NPR-

listening

avatar of

"Occupy

CJHS." Becca Abrams came as a latte

and Carly Rubin came as a car hop,

while Jack Rubinstein stole the show

as the Loch Ness monster, complete

with kilt and bagpipes. 2013 was a

good year for puns: Ceren Maeir came protesting as

Satantic Rights, while Alana Stoehr was a con artist,

complete with beret and paintbrush. In a wonderful dash

of creativity, Annie Schrayer, Dani Sery, and Caroline

Dreifuss came as a giant s'more. (It's amazing what you

can do with a solid color t-shirt if you get creative!) On the

right, the policewoman's department of the junior class is

on the hunt for cereal killers, so watch out!

Page 7: Happy Purim Tigers

The CJHS Teacher Cloning Project is pleased to offer

another Purim full of results! Sarah Comar came skipping

in as Ms. Frankel, complete with corded necklaces and

fetching black sweater, while Ilan Hulkower, resplendent

in argyle, made a very passable Mr. Scher. Further

investigation revealed that Mr.

Hulkower was decked in spy gear

from head to foot and was actually

a basketball spy from Mooseheart,

inasmuch as no one would expect

the likes of Mr. Scher to know

anything about basketball.

However, it was Maya Behn who

carried off the "Most Realistic"

award for the second year

running: having swept the

category last year as Mrs. Eliaser:

Weekday Version, she came this

year as Mrs. Eliaser: Shabbos

Version, complete with Indo-

Pakistani outfit and trademark beret.

Page 8: Happy Purim Tigers

Speaking of teacher clones,

how long did it take you to

blink at the sight of Mr.

Griffith wearing "tefillin"?

And is that gender equity

advocate really Dr.

Schorsch, or is it just Rabbi

Silver dressed up as Dr.

Schorsch? The Judaic

studies faculty switched

places on Purim morning,

as Ms. Frankel sported

Rabbi Robkin's trademark

lumberjack plaid and

Rabbi Robkin did his best

to walk a mile (or at least

90 minutes) in Ms. Frankel's

high-heeled boots. Look

through the crowd to find

SuperFeinsmith with his

mighty guitar of justice, Ms.

Keefe as Fox in Socks, and

Dr. Miller as that

endangered species, the

U.S. Postal Service! Last

but not least, we must stop

the show to applaud the

maddening cute sight of

baby Ezra Gleicher-Bloom all

dolled up in his little skunk

outfit, escorted by the

enormously pregnant Coach

Josh Gleicher (dressed to the nines as Ms. Gleicher-Bloom),

while his sister Ms. Gleicher-Bloom borrowed Mr. Gleicher's

trademark warmups and took his place. Ms. G-B says she

will gladly teach health for a day and looks forward to seeing what Coach will make of her freshman mishna class.

Page 10: Happy Purim Tigers

It's Opa!--CJ Style at the

2013 Purim spiels! Kicking

off the lineup, the Class of

2015 presented The

Shabbaton That Never

Happened, where Jack

Rubinstein makes his

announcements in Klingon, Luna

Lovegood--I mean Maddy

Mynatt--searches the school for

her seventeen lost possessions,

and Mr. Scher enthusiastically

shake

s the

arm off everyone who walks into

the room. By the time Rabbi

Feinsmith has finished making

his neshama one with the Great

Being, all the lesser

mortals have all

sneaked out of

meditation minyan

except the one poor

soul asleep on the yoga mat; polar

bear cross-country athlete

Jonathan Tupper is still manfully

doin

g

pus

hup

s

despite having been run

over in the parking lot; Ms.

Friedman is wringing her

hands in exasperation and

Mr. Danko has flunked

Isaac Johnston for knowing all of world history except

the invention of the almighty necktie. Rabbi Robkin's last-

period class has stopped bringing their seforim completely

in hopes that their rebbe will just give up and teach them

niggunim instead, and it's business as usual at CJHS.

Page 11: Happy Purim Tigers

SNL Shorts: The Junior Spiel starring Charlotte Kamin

and Baye Miller provided musical interludes (APUSH in a

Box, starring Avidan Halivni as Mr. Danko and Hillel

Schwartz as Mr. Marchenko), drama (wheelie-toting, all-

powerful mavens of cool The

Lakeview Community), and

comedy (That Shtetl Show).

Commercials advertised

Freshmanz--that wonderful new

line of blond Jewish dolls--and

cautioned the girls of CJHS against

Stranger Danger, e.g. the senior

boys lurking in the shadows,

waiting to hit on them. Intrepid

explorer Adam Taitz (1996-2013)

braved the harsh winter terrain of

the CJHS wind tunnel in the Man

Vs. Wild snippet, where

biting winds and bitter child

pits human survival against

the 200 feet of sidewalk

leading from the parking lot

to the front door. And

Where in the World is Mrs.

Eliaser? starring Maya Behn

showed what the

evanescent physics

teacher is really doing

when overwrought

juniors are scouring

the halls for her--if she

isn't practicing her Jedi

skills in the workout

room, she's stuck in

the checkout line

poring over which giant

water bottle is really "the

thing." No students were

harmed in the making of

these films, except that

Maya actually drank all the

water in that huge bottle

and spent half the morning running to the ladies' room.

Meanwhile, the seniors are running their Keep the Spiel

Alive event despite students' continual need to dash off to Va'ad meetings...

Page 12: Happy Purim Tigers

Elan: Mr. Frank, the juniors and seniors want open campus.

Mr. Frank: Not going to happen.

Elan: How about a muzzle for Michael Jacobson?

Mr. Frank: That we can work with.

...or A.P. Chemistry:

Nate: Mrs. Levinson, I must very respectfully accuse you of having senioritis.

Mrs. Levinson: What makes you say that?

Nate: I have tracked a second-order relationship between the number of days left in second semester and the number of anecdotes you tell about your adorable grandchildren.

Mrs. Levinson: They are so smart, aren't they? I bet they'd do better on the AP exam than you would.

Mr. Griffith beat out Nate Swetlitz

and Ceren Maeir for the title of CJHS'

Most Jewish; Nat Moses' backpack

was finally located on his back;

ostentatious rapper Jonathan "Lil JT"

Tupper took on Evan "DJ Eliyahu"

Gorstein, and it was time for a

splendid Purim seudah breakfast before

the student body chewed their own feet off... or wet themselves laughing!

Community Service

Page 13: Happy Purim Tigers

After 30 minutes in the bathroom to wash off the green

face-paint and an impromptu "Stairway to Heaven" sing-

along, the students of CJHS fanned out into the community

to do some good. Juniors

learned about

homelessness and

canvassed El stations with

the Chicago Coalition for

the Homeless, while

freshmen took over the

Purim festivities at Gidwitz

Place for Assisted Living

and CJE SeniorLife Adult

Day Services in Evanston, where they ran carnival games,

played Bingo, passed out hamantaschen, and led the holiday singing.

The sophomore class headed to The ARK for their

community service program. The students met with staff

and clients in The ARK's Intensive Day Program for adults

with chronic mental illness, took a tour of the facility and

the various clinics, and sorted food in the pantry. The

afternoon was fun and productive, and The ARK's food

pantry was stuffed full at the end of the day.

Page 14: Happy Purim Tigers

Ms. Caroline Musin Berkowitz,

Director of Volunteers and

Outreach and a former member of

the CJHS staff, kvelled, "I was so

impressed to see my former

students helping each other to

determine where prducts belonged

on the shelves whether they were

kosher--those that aren't are donated to other area

pantries. The cooperation, teamwork, and sheer

enthusiasm that CJHS brought to The ARK was contagious!

We look forward to seeing the students monthly for Café

ARK and the ARK Book Club. We really value our partnership with Chicagoland Jewish High School."

The seniors travelled to Waukegan to meet with students

from our sister school, Webster

Middle School, where they watched

the movie Freedom Writers and

played the line game as seen in the

film, examining their commonalities

and their differences. Small group

discussions then followed focusing

on the impact of the film, the

meaning of identity in one's life, and learning to accept the differences in our multi-cultured society.

YPI for Shalva

Many thanks to all who participated in our

fabulous mishloach manot program and other

Adar fundraisers this year! YPI, our youth

fundraising initiative, is delighted to report

that we have raised over $7,000 for Shalva! Keep

your eyes peeled for other ways to contribute to this

Page 15: Happy Purim Tigers

important cause. And nu, we've been nagging you for

weeks, if you've just gotten a new phone with the camera

and the music and the texting in class, bring your old cell

phones to the Cell Phone Drop Box in the office. Recycle that old phone and do a mitzvah!

Tigers Bring Home Trophy

Let's hear a big RUFF RUFF RUFF for the 2013 CJHS

Tigers, who returned from Arlington Heights last week

bearing their second IHSA Regional trophy! We're #1!

We're #1! For the second time in the season, we're #1!

Regional Championship Highlights

Check out the full video special with highlights of last

week's thrilling victory game, plus a photo retrospective

and Gallery of Triumph, courtesy of Coach Newlander, who

must not get any sleep at all.

Page 16: Happy Purim Tigers

Many thanks to Coach Marty Dello, Coach Lee Cohen, and

Coach Mike Newlander on a truly record-breaking season,

to our legions of fans who have turned out to support us,

and to the talented Tom Snitzer of Snitzer Photography,

who has documented our team's postseason with such

amazing photographs.

Page 17: Happy Purim Tigers

Mooseheart Delivers Big

Spirits were running high at

Wednesday night's sectionals, where

CJHS was privileged to play the team

from Mooseheart Child City and

School. Mooseheart is a residential

campus for students whose families

are unable, for a wide variety of

reasons, to care for them.

Mooseheart spent the weekend

celebrating its first postseason

basketball title in almost 50 years;

the school has gained much notoriety in these past few

months for having admitted three

young men from Sudan, who, being

exceptionally tall, were accused by

other teams of having been recruited

for basketball purposes. The IHSA

recently ruled that all three young

men who had fled Sudan seeking

education and a better life are most

certainly able to play on their high

school team; CJHS Board President

Michael Small suggests that if other

schools are upset about the ruling,

they also find some children in a war

zone whom they can rescue, feed, and educate. The CJHS

Tigers are truly honored to take on such noble and

worthy opponents; as fan bus pulled into the parking lot,

the blue face paint was daubed on and the tidy-whities

were donned, the fans and parents agreed: no matter what

the score was, we would all be winners this year!

Congratulations to Mooseheart on a really great game: we

look forward to a rematch next year!

Page 18: Happy Purim Tigers

David Vs. Goliath

"They come with spears,

with swords and javelins,

with 7-foot players towering

over our heads, but we

come armed only with

amazing coaching, an

unstoppable press defense,

spectacular three-point

shooters, and the name of

our God!"

Wednesday's game pitted the

towering bastions of Mooseheart's

offense against the three-point-

shooting prowess of our

hometown Tigers. The Sun-Times'

Mike Knapp reports, "Jake

Newlander's three-pointer with

23 seconds to go gave the Tigers

the lead for good and eventually a

70-67 win. Newlander's dagger

from the deep right corner was the

10th trey of the night for the

Tigers (21-3) on their 28th

attempt, and capped a rally that

saw them come back from 11

down in the fourth quarter."

Page 19: Happy Purim Tigers

CJHS parent Michael Small

kvells, "This was the most

exciting sporting event I

have ever attended in my

life. Those last five minutes,

when we were down by 12,

the kids in the stands

started chanting, 'We

believe we're going to win!

WE BE-LIEVE WE'RE GOING-TO-WIN!' The players were

right there--they could hear every word. And then Avidan

Halivni charged--twenty seconds later, we're up by 7

points, and you could see those boys--the looks on their

faces! They knew we could do this!"

"I had that feeling," Jake told the

reporters. "When you are shooting

well, you know it when it leaves

your hand, and thankfully it went

in." Newlander later added two big

free throws with 9.7 seconds left

and finished the night with a

team-high 25. With brother Josh

Newlander scoring 19 of his 21 in

the second half, the Tigers scored

46 points in the final two quarters.

That helped CJ set up its press,

which had bothered the Red

Ramblers all night long.

"We wear people down; it's in the

fourth quarter, and that's when we win our games," Tigers

coach Marty Dello told the press. "That game played out

exactly as I expected. We felt like if we could make baskets

we could set up our defense and that was the difference."

Page 20: Happy Purim Tigers

"The last few minutes

of the game were

insane!" Lady Tiger

Alana Stoehr

excitedly reports from

the stands. She and fellow Lady

Tiger superstars Annie Schrayer

and Caroline Dreifuss have

loyally followed the Tigers to every

game in the postseason and were

first in the post-game rush.

"When Jake knocked down that

three and Fish sank both free

throws to put us in the

lead, everyone went

crazy. We had to hold

back our urge to storm

the court [then and

there], because we

just wanted to

celebrate with our

boys and congratulate

them on such an

incredible and well-

deserved win. It's

cliched, but there are honestly no words to describe the

feeling each of the fans as that final buzzer sounded."

Page 21: Happy Purim Tigers

Hot Off the Press!

Our winning game is all over the hot

sheets--if we could only say the same

for our photogenic players! The

Chicago Tribune is so surprised that

Mooseheart lost, they can't seem to

remember the name of the winning

team--can you imagine? Thirty-six

photos and not one of our Tigers

among them! Irony of ironies, our

most spectacular game-night

coverage is in the Sun-Times' Aurora

Beacon--the same newspaper that raked us across the

coals at our last sectional in 2010, those short Jews who

thought they could play basketball. Of course, our

hometown Deerfield Patch is as proud as punch and can't

wait until we take on Newark at the sectionals after

Shabbat.

Now that the holy Shabbos is

here, this morning's papers are

getting a little more interested in

our valiant team! "Pray, Then

Play!" reads today's Sun-Times;

this morning's Chicago Tribune is

impressed that the IHSA has

devised an alternate March

Madness schedule that will allow

our boys to play their games after

Shabbat if our team advances to

state. Our loyal Jon Kerr explains

to the Deerfield Patch explains the

"Sabbath first, basketball second"

schedule, while Newark's basketball coach says he's ready

to meet us any any of he week as he checks in with today's

Aurora Beacon about this unexpected challenge out of

Deerfield.

Page 22: Happy Purim Tigers

So, light those candles and

roar out those zemirot, bless

our Source who crowns the

people Israel with splendor,

and enjoy our Shabbat of

glory! Game time is 7:30

p.m.--one hour and five

minutes after havdallah--so

fill up those tanks, rustle up

some pom-pons, and we'll

see you back in Mooseheart Field House tomorrow night for

the Class 1A Sectionals!

Security Updates

As reported on NPR last week, the U.S. has devised a

national plan for controlling the spread of any zombie

outbreaks that may threaten public health; Canada is now

under pressure to prevent a surge of the undead crossing

the border. Safety has always been paramount at CJHS. In addition to our policies for snow and

other weather-related emergencies, H1N1 and other health scares, lockdowns and other

intruder drills, Inez Drazin is pleased to report

that we are now in compliance with the CDC's Zombie Pandemic Preparedness guidelines. US

Assistant Surgeon General Dr. Ali Khan has commended our policies, saying, "If you are

Page 23: Happy Purim Tigers

generally well equipped to deal with a zombie

apocalypse you will be prepared for a hurricane, pandemic, earthquake, or attack."

CJHS families, please log on at cdc.gov, assemble a kit,

and put together a plan! Many thanks to Matthew

Dulberg's family friends in Northbrook for providing a

secret crypt for CJHS students to fall back to in case of an undead insurgence.

Candid Camera

Regular viewers of the CJHS YouTube

channel will be delighted to hear that we

are expanding our programming lineup.

In addition to Wednesday Night

Basketball with Coach Newlander and

VH1 starring guitar-slinging teachers who think they can

sing, we will be offering a whole new series of reality TV

courtesy of the school security cameras! "Buns of Steel: A

View from the Second-Floor Landing" will premiere this

Sunday night, as faculty and staff vote on which senior boy

has the most adorable backside. CJHS boys who do not

wish to participate in this contest should be

advised to change for gym in the locker

rooms as the girls do, and not on the

second-floor landing right under the

security camera. And for all those couples

who thought their secret rendezvous was

truly a secret... smile! You're on Candid

Camera!

Editorial Change

CJHS apologizes for the

decline in quality of the CJHS

E-News ever since Rosh

Chodesh Adar due to the

sudden and mysterious

absence of its regular editor,

Mrs. Eliaser. It has recently

come to the attention of the

CJHS administration that

Jonathan Tupper and Isaac

Johnston have been occupying the office of the E-News

Editor while the real editor has been hiding from an

unstoppable stream of panicked physics students. The

administration apologizes for the misappropriation of

authority; Mrs. Eliaser has been located hiding behind the

poster gemach in Room 314, and E-News will return to its

Page 24: Happy Purim Tigers

regularly scheduled content next week.

Mrs. Eliaser denies ever having been The Editor of the

CJHS E-News, as does Mr. Richard Tupper, who has been

denying it for years. Current suspicion rests on Mr. Robert

Johnston, who says, "It's totally me, and I expect sufficient

remuneration for my skilled services."

Sponsored Breakfast

According to the senior spiel, morning prayers

have been replaced with, "Dear God, please let

there be bagels this morning. Amen." Thank you

to Benjy Salzman for answering our prayers

and sponsoring breakfast.

Shabbat Shalom

Pesach goodies have been on sale at

Walgreen's since Valentine's Day, so don't

let that put you off. Next thing you know,

Pesach will come right after Chanukah!

Candlelighting will be at 5:23 p.m. Shabbat shalom!

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Chicagoland Jewish High School | 1095 Lake Cook Road | Deerfield | IL | 60015