Devotee Care And Guidance System

ISKCON Ljubljana 20 and 22 March 2010

SEVEN PURPOSES OF ISKCON3. To bring the members of the Society together

with each other and nearer to Krsna, the prime entity, thus to develop the idea within the members, and humanity at large, that each soul is part and parcel of the quality of Godhead (Krsna).

6. To bring the members closer together for the purpose of teaching a simpler and more natural way of life.

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SRILA PRABHUPADA

Srila Prabhupada was first and foremost someone who truly cared, who completely sacrificed his own comfort to work for the good of others.

- Mukunda Goswami

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HELPING EACH OTHERPrabhupada liked to hear of his disciples helping

each other to follow the instructions of the spiritual master.

SDG, Prabhupada Meditations 2.2.3: Guru Means Heavy

I hope we shall very soon meet again and help each other in the matter of discharging Krishna consciousness engagements.

Letter to Satsvarupa - Delhi 6 October, 1967

… help each other to become better and better preachers of this Krishna Consciousness movement.

Letter to Madhucara - Nairobi 25 September, 1971

“I AM ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU”Once we see that “somebody’s willing to make a sacrifice

for me,” that in itself gives us some shelter. Because we think, “Oh, this person is actually thinking of

me. Thinking of my benefit.”Niranjana Swami

GOPAL BHATTA“I can see! You love each

other! You have so much affection for each other! And it is not pretentious. It is so obvious that even I can see it”.

Gopal Bhatta ACBSP

PRACETAS The Supreme Personality of

Godhead said: My dear sons of the King, I am very much pleased by the friendly relationships among you.

All of you are engaged in one occupation - devotional service.

I am so pleased with your mutual friendship that I wish you all good fortune.

Now you may ask a benediction of Me.

SB 4.30.8

TRAINING IS CAREAdipurusa

Community Principles Responsible communication Reliability Mutual support Mutual accountability Taking initiative Mutual benefit (win-win) Seek first to understand Creative cooperation (third

alternative) Clarity of purpose Varna and asrama

PURPOSE Educate in how to live according to the principles of

their asrama Train in philosophy, sadhana, Vaisnava behaviour,

etiquette, lifestyle and attitudes Care and attention for all devotees to make them feel

loved, wanted and part of a wonderful spiritual family Foster warm personal relationships and a spirit of love

and trust based on Krsna conscious principles Facilitate allocation of service, organization of major

events, communication of important decisions Train spiritual leaders and preachers

HOW DOES IT WORKSome experienced devotees take on the

serviceAssistant GuideGeographical, linguistic, socio-economic

considerations Preference for a particular GuidePesonal touchShelter: bring as many as possibleFothnightly group meetingsOne-to-one meetings

HOWCollective recommendations for initiationSpecialized teamsTemple president participatesGuide from the same asramaHusband-and-wife teamNot too many to care for and guide

CHOOSING SPIRITUAL GUIDESIn active Krsna consciousness within

ISKCON for a fair length of timeGood understanding of the philosophy

and practice of Krsna consciousnessAble to give balanced counsel based

on Krsna conscious principles according to person, time, place and circumstance

Not inclined to extreme or controversial positions on issues

CHOOSINGWilling to extend to help and sacrifice for othersCompassionate, genuine concern for the welfare of

devoteesA good listenerMature, sober, stableGood standard of sadhana, etiquette, behavior, service

and commitment to the missionProperly situated in own asrama

DUTY OF A GUIDEA friend and guide in Krsna

consciousness Spiritual elder brother/sister, takes

personal care of all devotees in the group

Inspires and encourages them in Krsna consciousness, monitors their progress

Provides Krsna conscious and general life skills training

Counsels in spiritual and other mattersOverall welfare of the devotees

DUTYFortnightly group meetingsRecommends for first and second initiationActively participates in meetings of the Spiritual GuidesA good standard of sadhana, behavior and serviceSarve sukhino bhavantuCaution: personal ambition, misuse ...

TRAINING DEVOTEES Ideal brahmacaris and grhasthas Proper devotional standards at

the temple or at home (kitchen, altar, behavior, sadhana)

Proper wife/husband/parent/child, according to scriptures

Balance economic and social responsibilities with spiritual vows

TRAINING DEVOTEES Women dealing with men, particularly

brahmacharis and sannyasis; men dealing with women

Proper dealings between asramas Dealing with other devotees, family, public Manual of Vaisnava Etiquette and Lifestyle

GROUP MEETING Vaisnava bhajans One of devotees presents a text

from Srila Prabhupada’s books, discussion

Sharing realizations Discussion on service, sadhana,

Vaisnava etiquette/behavior Issues not too personal

(personal discussed in private with the Guide)

Practical committments Kirtana, prasadam

WHAT KEEPS THE GROUP MEMBERS TOGETHER?Guide’s genuine care and loveGuide takes initiative, reaches outAn environment of love, appreciation and

challengeBenefits for those who takes care of othersCommitment to quality relationships

THE "GLUE"There is an inherentt value in good Vaisnava

relationships. Not just a means to an end. Good Vaisnava relationships please Krsna already (other things need to also be in place)

Six symptoms of love (Upadesamrta)See the needs of others first and try to serve them

GUIDES MEETINGS

Discussion on the holy name and: Sadhana (japa, waking early, morning

program, etc.) Reading (importance of philosophy and

reading Prabhupada’s books) Vaisnava Etiquette (respect to

everyone, how to serve/honour prasadam, personal habits, etc.)

Exemplary Behavior (26 qualities of a Vaisnava, etc.)

Reports from specilized teams Different Guide presents each time Management matters (if needed) Prasadam

KEY QUESTIONSWhat do we want people to

become?What do we want them to do?Where do we want them to go?

Maturing devoteesRelationship with GodRelationship with devoteesRelationship with others

INTERESTING MEETINGSInduce creativity and innovationCreate fresh challengesConsider personal interestsBirthdays, marriages, anniversariesRegular, specific personal appreciationCatch them doing things rightFun: games, quizzes, role playsDo personal things for themDynamic action after the session

BHAKTISIDDHANTA One who gives personal instruction to each and everyone

does more for others than the platform speakers do.

Generally, whatever platform speakers say cannot solve the problem of everyone in the audience, nor can it always benefit every individual.

A person's defects are better rectified in a private tutorial class or private coaching than in hearing lectures in a school or college.

Therefore those who instruct particular persons separately can award them something more permanent.

Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati, Amrta Vani, page 315

ONE-TO-ONEAttentive to devotee’s needs, interests and

concernsConfidentialSupportive (believes in)Focused on a devotee being guidedPersonal issues Sharing realizations and successesNot a lectureWorking together to find solutionsEnlightening

ONE-TO-ONE SKILLSListeningQuestionsProblems into opportunitiesExpanding optionsPromoting action

LISTENFully understand the situation of the devotee Give them the space to understand themselves Listen first and seek first to understand Remain as impartial, open and objective as you possibly

can

LISTENInterested and concerned THEY are responsible for their lives Clear your mind of all personal issues

EXERCISE Listen to a devotee next to you for 3 minutes. You must

not make any sound, say anything, nod, shake your head or show any other signs. Repeat back your understanding of the key points they made. Ask a devotee whether you understood him or her well.

ASKING EFFECTIVE QUESTIONSThe purpose of asking questions is to:1. Understand your devotee well2. Help them understand themselves3. Clarify what they want4. Discover new options, opportunities, possibilities and

advantages5. Identify obstacles6. Make an action plan

EQ What are your strengths, talents, skills, good qualities?What do you want?What one great thing would you dare to dream if you

knew you could not fail? (question about an exciting goal)

EQWhat one thing, if you would do superbly well

everyday, would make the greatest positive difference in your life? (question about personal habits / best practices)

What can you learn from this?How can you turn this problem into an opportunity?What and who inspires you the most?

EQWhat do you want?Are you ready to pay the price?

DISEMPOWERING QUESTIONS Why are you so bad?Why you don’t understand what’s good for you?When are you going to change / shape up / grow up?How could you do such a thing?

TIPAfter asking questions and listening, summarize what you

have heard to be sure you have understand your devotee well.

POWER OF QUESTIONSThe question that saved concentration camp prisoner’s

life.

EXERCISE Pair up as and take turn to speak about an issue.1. Ask relevant and empowering questions until he is

certain to have understood the devotee2. Paraphrase back to the devotee to determine whether

he has successfully understood him. The devotee should confirm it.

TURNING PROBLEMS INTO OPPORTUNITIES

“O Partha, happy are the ksatriyas to whom such fighting opportunities come unsought, opening for them the doors of the heavenly planets.”

Bg 2.32

TURNING PROBLEMS INTO OPPORTUNITIES

The way you see a problem or a task powerfully influences you action and the results you will achieve.

Help the devotee to see their problems differently: as a blessing in disguise.

A TURNAROUND EXPERT What is great about this problem?What can I learn from this problem?What this problem is an opportunity for?If you would be a world expert on these issues, what

would you advise?If you would be super-intelligent, how would you

deal with this problem?What additional skills do you need to deal with this

problem?

A TURNAROUND EXPERTUse questions as you see fit, in any orderInduce a devotee to see themselves as expert in solving a

particular problem and learn everything they can about it from various sources (spiritual, professional, etc.).

EXERCISE Choose one problem and turn it into an opportunity

together.

EXPANDING OPTIONSGita CardsMindstormingBrainstormingAsking othersWhat else could I do?

PROMOTING ACTION

“Factually, we should be engaged 24 hours in Krsna's service and everything should be done very nicely and perfectly.”

- Srila Prabhupada, Letter to Adi-kesava, Bombay 2 January 1975

ACTIONClear written goalsPlanAccountability

HELPING DEVOTEES SUCCEEDChosen areaClarifying what they wantExploring options, opportunities, possibilities and

advantagesOvercoming obstaclesMaking a written action planHolding them accountable by requesting weekly reports

HOLISTIC OR COMPLETE CAREHealth SadhanaServiceRelationshipsEtc.

CHANGETo change their results, devotee needs to change their

perception, their thinking and their action. To achieve things you have never achieved before, you

have to start doing things you have never done before.

SUCCESS Success = Personal effort + Krsna’s mercy

The place of action [the body], the performer, the various senses, the many different kinds of endeavour, and ultimately the Supersoul — these are the five factors of action. Whatever right or wrong action a man performs by body, mind or speech is caused by these five factors. Therefore one who thinks himself the only doer, not considering the five factors, is certainly not very intelligent and cannot see things as they are.

Bg 18.14-16

O son of Kunti, I am the taste of water, the light of the sun and the moon, the syllable om in the Vedic mantras; I am the sound in ether and ability in man.

Bg 7.8

PRACTICE Demonstration Mutual assistanceShare first with your partner and then with a whole

group what you have learned and experienced both as a guide and guided

SUMMARYAttentive to devotee’s needs, interests and concernsConfidentialSupportiveFocused on a devotee being guidedPersonal issues Sharing realizations and successesNot a lectureWorking together to find solutionsEnlightening

MUTUAL COACHINGWeekly questionsFeedforwardGITA Model

GoalsInstructionsTestsAction

EXERCISEChoose an important goal and tell partnerParner asks you: What are the three ways I can help you

succeed in this? Partner chooses one he think he can help you with and

committs to do it next week

DEMONSTRATIONSTopical group discussionOne-to-one meeting/session with a GITA

ModelGoalsInstructionsTestsAction

REVIEW AND WAY FORWARDSummaryQuestionsCommentsIdeas

Way forward