How To Approach And Flirt With a Woman

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    Chapter 1Introduction

    wanted to talk to you a little bit about how to approach and flirt with

    women. Its one of those topics that I know a lot of guys out there are

    looking to develop some skills.

    Lets face it, for the last 30 or 40 years now weve gone through a kind of a crisis

    these guys have. Weve lost a lot of the skills or at least a lot of the training

    that we need to be men for women. Its just not there and the unfortunate part of

    that is, is just because a lot of our fathers werent there for us.

    I was pretty fortunate. I had a dad until I was about 15 or 16 and then he split

    from my mom and went off on his own but I got very fortunate that I was taught

    a lot of the lessons that were necessary to be a man and just show a woman a

    man out there because thats what she wants.

    This is one of the critical distinctions and you are going to hear it from me many,

    many times and its an important thing to remember. And that is that, women

    are not looking for a feminized guy. We may have been brain washed into this

    over the last several years and I dont want to get political here but the fact of the

    matter is that women are not attracted to feminine guys. Its just not natural. Its

    not interesting to them. They are not looking for that, they want polarity.

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    What is polarity? Polarity is that feeling that the other person has the opposite

    charge from you and as a result you have that magnetic attraction for each other.

    You have that zing, that special chemistry. Thats what were looking to do.

    Were looking to create chemistry with women. And the fact is that you can do

    this very easily. Its very easy to create chemistry with women if you know the

    rules. And thats what Im going to teach you.

    e are going to talk about the rules of how to get yourself to the

    point where you feel comfortable approaching and talking to

    any woman that you see. And you are able to flirt with and

    start that attraction with her on a moments notice. You are going to be

    prepared. You are going to have the ammo in your little bandolier. Ever watch

    the Bugz Bunny cartoons and you seewhats his name? Speedy Gonzales, you

    know that little mouse the little Mexican mouse? And hes got that band of

    bullets that goes your chest in an X. Thats called a bandolier. And its a ton of

    ammo and it makes sure that hes ready for any shootout. Its like those old

    Western movies.

    Well in order for you to feel comfortable going into an approach situation with a

    woman and talking to a woman and talking to a woman and flirting with her, you

    want to feel solid. You want to feel like youre grounded, you want to feel like

    youve got that firm sense of confidence in yourself and then you can transfer

    that confidence to her because she needs to see it. How many times have you

    heard a woman wants confidence in a man? Im here to tell you that as much of

    a clich as it is, its true. Its very, very true and its something that we cannot

    ignore as men. Its absolutely the most important thingwe can demonstrate.

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    The cool thing is you are naturally confident. This is something I want to make

    sure you understand. There is an inner game to approaching women and thats

    what were going to talk about first. The inner game of approaching women is

    very simple. Its down to the fact of youve got to feel confident enough that you

    can walk up to a woman, start a conversation and get good results.

    If you dont feel that confidence that you can get that result then of course you

    are not going to walk up and talk to a woman. You are going to try to avoid

    women. You are going to avoid situations where you might even meet women

    because youre very hesitant, youre very uncertain about the outcome that you

    might get. Its a very important fact.

    I realized this a long time ago and its part of howIll train you guys today and

    howIve done it for some years now. One of the most important things you can

    do is to really establish that firm sense of confidence in yourself. And that

    confidence that you feel in yourself is very simple. Its simply not having that

    voice in your head thats trying to undermine you. Thats trying to doubt, thats

    trying to make you feel uncertain, unstable. Because thats what confidence is

    certainty. CONFIDENCE = CERTAINTY.

    If you have a pen and paper handy and I encourage you to get one because you

    should be taking notes. If you are listening to the audio version of this, hey thats

    great too but make sure you stop at some point and listen to this when you can

    take some notes and fully focus on the things Im saying because this is extremely

    important.

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    You must have a sense of certainty about life. That communicates confidence.

    Thats what women are looking for. Thats the secret ingredient of confidence

    that women are looking for. And certainty is very simple. It simply means that

    you lack those doubts that most guys are running around there with.

    When you go out the door, you doubt it that you can make it to work on time,

    youre doubting that you look good enough for a woman to be interested in you,

    you are doubting that you have enough hair, or the right kind of car or the right

    income for a woman to be interested in you. Let me tell you that the fact is that

    thats not what women are looking for at all. All shes lookingfor is that sense of

    promise. That sense of positive accomplishment otherwise known as ambition,

    thats what shes really looking for there ambition. And that cool sense of, you

    know what no matter what comes my way I can deal with it. Thats it my friend.

    That is all you need to communicate confidence.

    ow the fact is that you have that going on in your head all the time

    except for what is really getting in the way there. Thats right. Its

    that voice in your head, right? And I used to know about this first

    hand let me tell you. I had that voice running non-stop. As a matter of a fact it

    still pops up in my head.

    What does that voice say? Ah dude you cant do it. What are you trying to do

    that for? Oh man you cant possibly be thinking about walking over there and

    talking to her. You kidding, she doesnt want you. She wants some good looking

    dude out of a telenovella or a movie or something. Thats right. Youre not

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    good looking enough, youre not muscular enough, youre not tall enough, youre

    not smart enough, youre not eloquent enough, youre not thisyoure not that.

    You hear this voice all the time dont you? And it drives you crazy.

    Well here is an exercise you can use to drown it out. And this is the most

    important one that Im probably going to give you on this so I want you to really

    pay attention to it. I know youre going to be listening to a lot of information

    about the hows. Im going to give you what to say and all that. But really, this is

    the most important thing because you can say any words to a woman and they

    really dont matter. Ive proven this with guys. Ive made them walk up to

    women and say stuff like, I hate jokers, and open up a conversation that way.

    That actually is a really good opener by the way. I hate jokers is one of the best

    ways to open women because first of all, most people do hate clowns. They are

    just kind of creepy and it that it gives you kind of a funny little start to a

    conversation. Its so different than what shes normally hearing that shell grab

    on to it. Shell want to go with that.

    So literally anything you open up with can be the start of a conversation. But if

    you are not pulling it off with a certain sense of certainty about yourself,

    confidence in who you are, that feeling that just behind you is a mattress that if

    you got pushed over youd land, no problem, you could bounce right back up off

    that mattress and not a bruise or a scuff on your body and you can go at it again

    and again and again. When youve got that sensation, when youve got that

    feeling behind you, there is nothing else in the world like that.

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    And it really doesnt matter what women think, it doesnt matter what guys think,

    it doesnt matter what anybody thinks. And thats the kind of independence that

    you want to demonstrate to women. Because women are looking to men to be

    the source of grounding in their lives. See women dont run around with a sense

    of confidence that they can do the same things that guys can do.

    This is nothing chauvinistic at all here about how men and women are. Women

    are equal to men in every way and yes I totally support all that but youve got to

    realize that women are not the same as men. Its a very important thing to

    understand and weve been kind of brainwashed out of that.

    We are even brainwashed to think that men and women are the same. We have

    the same dreams, the same desires, the same ambitions, the same drives and

    thats complete crap. Its complete nonsense. We have completely different

    desires in certain areas. Sure they are the same in some but different in others

    and here is how they differ primarily.

    A mans primary focus in life and you should be writing this down by the way

    this is very important. A mans primary focus in life is competence. Competence

    in what he does and the demonstration of confidence in what he can do. For a

    woman, her primary focus in life is maintaining connections, relationships with

    other people. Let me say that again. A man has to feel like he can do stuff, that

    he can accomplish things, that he can get stuff done and get it done well. A

    woman has to feel like she can maintain connections with other people.

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    ow I want you to play the counterpoint to that voice. I want you to

    talk him down. I want you to totally destroy that jokers opinion.

    And literally youve got to see him as a joker too because its going

    to help you to not take the message seriously and be able to kind of come back at

    him a little bit.

    There are amazing jokers quite a bit in this little example arent they? Alright, so

    what would you say back to them? You might say something like, dude what

    are you talking about look at you, youre dressed in those floppy shoes you dont

    know what youre talking about. Youre just totally pulling this out of your butt

    trying to make me feel bad about myself. Oh sure I know youre probably the

    voice of the kids that I grew up with that would always make fun of me because I

    had that funny haircut but you know what, youre not around anymore. You

    cant possibly impact how I feel about myself. And you know what for another

    thing yeah I do know how to get this woman interested in me. I do know how to

    make her more interested, he showed me!

    Okay so thats what youve got to do, youve got to sit there and youve got to

    totally talk to this voice down and out of your head and you also have to see him

    start to deflate and his little clown frown start to turn upside down. His clown

    frown starts to get darker and darker and he starts to slump and his shoulders

    droop over and you realize that yes! You are talking this guy down to nothing.

    Alright, thats what youve got to do.

    That little mental exercise if done properly, just close your eyes take about five

    minutes to do that, it will have a dramatic impact on how you hear those voices

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    Chapter 2Overcoming Your Approach Anxiety

    to be continued in our next serial