How to help your child succeed in high school athletics! 1.

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  • How to help your child succeed in high school athletics! 1
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  • Warning!!! I am here tonight on behalf of the athletes. Not the parents. Not the coaches. Not the administration. I may say some things that will bother you. Think about what I have said from the perspective of a 15-18 year old. 2
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  • Why am I bringing this up? Senior Surveys 3
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  • But, Im not one of those parents This message is from your child. Parents- dont say this isnt me- assume it is you. As a parent, you dont have a clear perspective on your childs ability and that is OK. 4
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  • How have things changed? With the creation of youth programs at earlier ages, kids play organized sports earlier than ever before. With more teams, more coaches are needed. Many of you have coached your own son or daughters teams. As parents, your generation has invested more time, money, and energy in your childrens athletic careers than any other generation. Kids rarely play unstructured pickup games anymore. 5
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  • The Scholarship Myth Less than one percent of youth will receive an athletic scholarship. Research shows that the ratio of academic scholarships to athletic scholarships is 70 to 1. 6
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  • Questions for the parents Why do you want your son or daughter to play? What is a good season going to be? What is their role going to be? 7
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  • Questions for the Athletes Why do you want to play? What is a good season going to be? What is your role on the team going to be? 8
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  • Have a conversation about your answers Parents- If there are different expectations, your child will feel forced to drop their beliefs and accept yours. 9
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  • More Questions for the Athletes How many of you think you know your role on the team? How many of you think your coach knows how you see your role on the team? How many of you think your parents know how you see your role on the team? How many of your parents think your role should be bigger than it is? 10
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  • What can a parent do? Release your son or daughter to their activity. 11
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  • What does this look like? All their successes are theirs. 12
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  • What does this look like? All their defeats are theirs. 13
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  • What does this look like? All their problems are theirs. 14
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  • What to do? As parents, you are on the front line in dealing with both the positive and negative emotions your child brings home. A parents role is to help support their child through the highs and lows of the season in a positive and productive way. 15
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  • But that seems like to big of a risk! Athletics is a safe place to do this. It is alright to allow your child to take the risk to compete and either succeed or fail. Athletics is a better environment for young people to take a risk rather than taking risks with academics, alcohol, or sex. 16
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  • Red Flags The following are red flags that indicate you have not released your child to their activity: You as a parent take credit for their successes. You try and solve all their problems. Your kid looks at you during a game when they make a mistake. You continue to try and coach them. They try to avoid you after games. If you suffer or celebrate more than your son/daughter after wins or losses. 17
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  • What if your child has a problem? What if your child comes home and says the coach hates me. the coach is so unfair. my teammates are so mean. Tell them that it sounds like they have a problem. 18
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  • What if your child has a problem? Teach them: how they can address the problem. how they can advocate for themselves. how to talk to an authority figure. how to deal with criticism and conflict in a productive way. Be sure to remain neutral as a parent and promote positive communication with the coach. 19
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  • What do athletes need from parents, coaches, and fans? We all must pick a role: Spectator Coach Participant Official You can only have one role. You need to understand your role in order for athletics to be enjoyable and beneficial for your child. 20
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  • How can we be better spectators? Model appropriate behavior: Confidence Poise Language Body language When adults behave like children, children do not learn how to become adults. 21
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  • How can we be better spectators? Cheer for the team, not just your individual child. Allow there to be one instructional voice. If you dont, your child has to choose between their coach or you. Either way, they will disappoint an adult in their life. 22
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  • What do athletes need from parents, coaches, and fans? After a game kids want time and space from adults. Give them time to recover from the game. They will talk about it when they are ready. The car ride home with my dad is the worse part of the game for me. Avoid talking negatively about other players or strategies. This destroys the relationship between teammates and coaches. 23
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  • Hmmmmm??? What would we see if I video taped the parent section at our home games this season? 24
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  • What is the best thing you can say to your child after a game? 25
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  • I thank you, and your kids thank you. Information Taken from: Brown, Bruce. The Role of Parents in Athletics. Coaches Choice Video. 2002. Hockenbury, Ed. Learning From the Negative: A Positive Perspective on High School Athletics. High School Today. February, 2010. Positive Coaching Alliance. Redman, Jody. Hey, Howd Ya Do? MSHSL Bulletin. Winter, 2010. 26


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