How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying- Full Script

How to Succeed in Business without Really Trying

This is a simple story of a young man who climbs to a position of great power and the girl who

loyally hangs on during his climb and eventually wins him. In this wonderful musical satire on

the Organization Man, his success is due neither to hard work nor any other ancient prescriptions

for success. He gets ahead following the simple rules detailed in a book entitled How To

Succeed In Business Without Really Trying."

Our hero, J. Pierrepont Finch, runs into many obstacles and overcomes them like a modern,

comic Siegfried: there's his rival (the boss's nephew), the mailroom trap, the office wolf, the

office party, the dangerous secretary, the board meeting, jealous executives and, of course, the

big boss himself.

From the first coffee break to the last elevator load on Friday night, office life is never the same

once "Ponty" Finch settles in for the trip to the top."

Opened 10/14/1961 Ran for 1417 performances.

Version: Original Broadway version

Credits: Book by Abe Burrows, Jack Weinstock and Willie Gilbert

Music by Frank Loesser

Lyrics by Frank Loesser

Based on How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying by Shepherd Mead

Type: Book Show

Acts: Two

Rating: PG

Cast Size: Large (over 20)

Orchestra Size: Large (17+)

Chorus Required: small

Dancing Required: Yes, standard

Difficulty: Easy to sing

Easy to learn

Style: Broadway

Category: Comedy

Contemporary Setting

Satire

Ideal For: Colleges

Community Theatres

Concerts

Families

High Schools

Regional Theatres

Middle Schools

Festivals

Fund-Raising

Low Budgets

Dancers

Cast Size: Large (over 20)

18 Men & Women

Casting Notes: Predominantly men

Includes older role(s)

Star vehicle - male

Characters: J. Pierrepont Finch, irrepressible, puckish hero

J. B. Biggley, stuffed-shirt, philandering company president

Bud Frump, Biggely's nephew, a scheming sycophant.

Twimble, the compliant head of the mailroom

Wally Womper, CEO and former window-washer

Gatch, middle-management man

Rosemary Pilkington, a secretary, in love with Finch

Smitty, a secretary with a deadpan sense of humor

Hedy LaRue, J.B.'s beautiful, thimble-brained mistress

Miss Jones, J.B.'s stuffy secretary

Executives, Secretaries, et al.

Special Requirements: In the song "Paris Original" all the singers wear the same costume.

l

The show opens with Finch on a scaffold suspended outside the New York headquarters of

World Wide Wickets. He is dressed as a window washer. (I can't remember how this was staged

in a tent in the round!) Finch is very ambitious as he reads from a guidebook called HOW TO

SUCCEED IN BUSINESS WITHOUT REALLY TRYING:

How to--apply for a job;

How to--advance from the mail room;

How to--sit down at a desk;

How to--dictate memorandums;

How to--develop executive style;

How to commute

In a three-button suit,

With that weary executive smile.

This book is all that I need:

How to--how to--succeed!

How to--observe personnel;

How to--select whom to lunch with;

How to--avoid petty friends;

How to--begin making contacts;

How to walk into a conference room

With an idea--brilliant business idea--

That will make your expense account zoom!

This book is all that I need:

How to--how to--succeed!

Entering the building, Finch literally bumps into the company president, J.B. Biggley. Finch is

also spotted by Rosemary, a secretary. Finch casually mentions "bumping into" Biggley to Mr.

Bratt, head of personnel, and manages to land a job in the mailroom.

Happy to Keep His Dinner Warm If you have Real Audio, click for a 30-second excerpt from the original cast album of HAPPY

TO KEEP HIS DINNER WARM.

Already smitten with Finch, Rosemary fantasizes about life married to him.

New Rochelle, New Rochelle,

That's the place where the mansion will be

For me and the darling bright young man

I've picked out for marrying me.

He'll do well, I can tell,

So it isn't a moment too soon

To plan on my life in New Rochelle,

The wife of my darling tycoon.

I'll be so happy to keep his dinner warm

While he goes onward and upward;

Happy to keep his dinner warm

Till he comes wearily home from down town.

I'll be there waiting until his mind is clear

While he looks through me, right through me;

Waiting to say, "Good evening, dear.

I'm pregnant. What's new with you from down town?"

Oh, to be loved by a man I respect;

To bask in the glow of his perfectly understandable neglect.

Oh, to belong in the aura of his frown--darling busy frown.

Such heaven--wearing the wifely uniform

While he goes onward and upward.

Happy to keep his dinner warm

Till he comes wearily home from down town.

Coffee Break If you have Real Audio, click for a 30-second excerpt from the original cast album of COFFEE

BREAK.

Bob Fosse created a very funny dance for and the singing and dancing ensemble to perform to

this "ominous cha cha" about how addicted everyone is to coffee that when they can't get it, they

go crazy. They scream, they faint; one dancer even falls into the orchestra pit (Fosse used this bit

in the opening of SWEET CHARITY, as well, only this time it was the star, Gwen Verdon, who

gets pushed into the pit which is meant to be the Central Park lake).

There's no coffee! No coffee! Oh!

If I can't take my coffee break,

My coffee break, my coffee break . . .


Something within me dies.

Lies down and something within me dies.

If I can't make three daily trips

Where shining shrine

Benignly drips

And taste cardboard between my lips,

Something within me dies.

Lies down and something within me dies.

No coffee! No coffee! No coffee!


No coffee! No coffee!

That office light doesn't have to be fluorescent;

I'll get no pains in the head.

That office chair doesn't have to be foam rubber;

So if I spread, so I spread;

But only one chemical substance

Gets out the lead--

Like she said:


My coffee break, my coffee break . . .


Gone is the sense of enterprise

All gone, and something within me dies.




No coffee!


Somehow the soul no longer tries;

Somewhere I don't metabolize;

Something within me . . .

Coffee or otherwise,



Something inside of me dies!

The Company Way If you have Real Audio, click for a 30-second excerpt from the original cast album of THE

COMPANY WAY.

Mr. Twimble, head of the mail room, has worked for the company for 25 years; all of them in the

mail room. Finch's book advises him the mailroom is a place from which to escape as soon as

possible. When he is offered a mail room promotion, Finch turns it down, recommending Frump,

the boss' unscrupulous nephew.

Twimble: When I joined this firm

As a brash young man,

Well, I said to myself,

"Now, brash young man,

Don't get any ideas."

Well, I stuck to that,

And I haven't had one in years.

Finch: You play it safe.

Twimble: I play it the company way;

Wherever the company puts me

There I stay.

Finch: But what is your point of view?

Twimble: I have no point of view.

Finch: Supposing the company thinks . . .

Twimble: I think so too.

Finch: Now, what would you say . . .?

Twimble: I wouldn't say.

Finch: Your face is a company face.

Twimble: It smiles at executives

Then goes back in place.

Finch: The company furniture?

Twimble: Oh, it suits me fine.

Finch: The company letterhead?

Twimble: A valentine.

Finch: Anything you're against?

Twimble: Unemployment.

Finch: When they want brilliant thinking

From employees

Twimble: That is no concern of mine.

Finch: Suppose a man of genius

Makes suggestions?

Twimble: Watch that genius get suggested to resign.

Finch: So you play it the company way?

Twimble: All company policy is by me OK.

Finch: You'll never rise up to the top.

Twimble: But there's one thing clear:

Whoever the company fires,

I will still be here.

Finch: Oh, you certainly found a home!

Twimble: It's cozy.

Finch: Your brain is a company brain.

Twimble: The company washed it,

Now I can't complain.

Finch: Hey, the company magazine!

Twimble: Oh, what style, what punch!

Finch: The company restaurant!

Twimble: Ev'ry day same lunch:

Their haddock sandwich; it's delicious!

Finch: I must try it.

Twimble: (Early in the week.)

Finch: Do you have any hobbies?

Twimble: I've a hobby; I play gin with Mr. Bratt.

Finch: Mr. Bratt! And do you play it nicely?

Twimble: Play it nicely . . . still, he blitzes me

In every game, like that!

Finch: Why?

Twimble: 'Cause I play it the company way.

Executive policy is by me OK.

Finch: Oh, how can you get anywhere?

Twimble: Junior, have no fear;



Finch: You will still be here.

Both: Year after year after fiscal,

Never take a risk-al year!

Frump: Oh, me too, me too, Mr. Twimble!

I know exactly what you mean.

From now on . . .

I'll play it the company way,

Wherever the company puts me

There'll I'll stay.

Whatever the company tells him

That he'll do.

Whatever my uncle may think,

I think so too.

He's beaming with company pride.

I've conquered that overambitious rat inside.

Old Bud is no longer the Frump he used to be.

I pledge to the company sweet conformity.

I will someday earn my medal:

Twenty-five year employee.

I'll see to it that the medal

Is the only thing they'll ever pin on me.

The Frump way is the company way.

Executive policy is by him OK.

I'll never be president,

But there's one thing clear,

As long as my uncle can stand me,


We know the company may like or lump any man,

And if they choose to the company may dump any man;

But they will never dump Frump, the company man.

Frump will play it the company,

Frump will play it the company,

Frump will play it the company way!

Since he turned down the mailroom promotion, Finch is free to be promoted into a more

interesting junior executive position.

A Secretary is Not a Toy This number was originally written as a waltz for Rudy Vallee. During the out of town previews,

this number wasn't going very well and Bob Fosse got the idea to restage it as a soft shoe for the

dancing ensemble. Loesser was so impressed when Fosse demonstrated the revised staging, he

wrote new lyrics. This number makes wonderful use of the sound of a typewriter and other

percussive punctuation of the sort that occurs regularly in numbers choreographed by Bob Fosse

(like the "ssst" sounds in STEAM HEAT and the finger snaps in RAZZLE DAZZLE). Biggley

has arranged for his "close friend", the well built Hedy LaRue, to be hired as a secretary. The

executives compete to have Hedy assigned to them, despite the warnings of Mr. Bratt.

Gentlemen. Gentlemen.

A secretary is not a toy,

No, my boy, not a toy

To fondle and dandle and playfully handle

In search of some puerile joy.

No, a secretary is not,

Definitely not, a toy.

You're absolutely right, Mr. Bratt.

We wouldn't have it any other way, Mr. Bratt.

It's a company rule, Mr. Bratt.

A secretary is not a toy,

No, my boy, not a toy.

So do not go jumping for joy, boy.

A secretary is not . . .

A secretary is not . . .

A secretary is not a toy.

A secretary is not to be

Used for play therapy.

Be good to the girl you employ, boy.

Remember no matter what

Neurotic trouble you've got


She's a highly specialized key component

Of operational unity,

A fine and sensitive mechanism

To serve the office community.

With a mother at home she supports;

And you'll find nothing like her at FAO Schwarz.

A secretary is not a pet

Nor an e-rector set.

It happened to Charlie McCoy, boy:

They fired him like a shot

The day the fellow forgot



And when you put her to use . . .

Observe when you put her to use . . .

That you don't find the name "Lionel"

On her caboose.

A secretary is not a thing

Wound by key, pulled by string.

Her pad is to write in

And not spend the night in.

If that's what you plan to enjoy.

No!!

The secretary ya got,

Is definitely not

Employed to do a gavotte,

Or you know what.

Before you jump for joy,

Remember this, my boy,

A secretary is not

A tinkertoy!

Been a Long Day Rosemary's friend, Smitty, helps her maneuver Finch into having dinner with Rosemary. Not

included on the original cast LP is a reprise sung by Frump, Biggley and Hedy.

Smitty: Well, here it is five pm,

The finish of a long day's work;

And there they are, both of them,

The secretary and the clerk.

Not very well acquainted;

Not very much to say;

But I can hear those two little minds

Tickin' away.

Now she's thinking:

Rosemary: I wonder if we take the same bus?

Smitty: And he's thinking:

Finch: There could be quite a thing between us.

Smitty: Now she's thinking:

Rosemary: He really is a dear.


Finch: But what of my career?

Smitty: And she says:

Rosemary: Hmm.

Smitty: And he says:

Finch: A hum heh.

Well, it's been a long day.

All: Well, it's been a long,

Been a long, been a long,

Been a long day.

Smitty: Now, she's thinking:

Rosemary: I wish that he were more of a flirt.


Finch: I guess a little flirting won't hurt.


Rosemary: For dinner we could meet.


Finch: We both have got to eat.


Rosemary: Achoo!


Finch: Gesundheit.

Well, it's been a long day.

All: Well, it's been a long,


Been a long day.

Smitty: Hey, there's a yummy Friday special at Stouffer's;

It's a dollar ninety vegetable plate

And on the bottom of the ad--not bad--

Service for two, three-fifty-eight.

(To make a bargain, make a date.)

Rosemary: Wonderful.

Finch: It's fate.


Rosemary: What female kind of trap could I spring?


Finch: I might as well forget the whole thing.

Smitty: Now, she's thinking:

Rosemary: Suppose I take his arm.


Finch: Well, really what's the harm?


Rosemary: Hungry?


Finch: Yeah!

Rosemary: Yeah!

Smitty: Yeah.

All: Well, it's been a long day.

Well, it's been a long,


Been a long day.

Well, it's been a long,


Been a long day.

Grand Old Ivy Finch has charmed Miss Jones, Biggley's dragon of a secretary, into revealing the boss's college

affiliation. At the same time, he learns Biggley will be stopping by the office Saturday morning

to pick up his golf clubs. Arriving seconds before the boss, Finch strews empty coffee cups and

papers around and musses up himself, as if he had been working all night, then he pretends to be

asleep at his desk. Biggley is suitably impressed that Finch is so dedicated. Finch hums the song

from Biggley's college, and when this inspires the boss to sing it, Finch chimes in a beat behind,

because he is really unfamiliar with the words.

Groundhog! Groundhog!

Stand, Old Ivy, stand firm and strong.

Grand Old Ivy, hear the cheering throng.

Stand, Old Ivy, and never yield.

Rip, rip, rip the chipmunk off the field.

When you fall on the ball

And you're down there at the bottom of the heap,

Down at the bottom of the heap!

Where the mud is oh so very, very deep,

Down in the cruddy, muddy, deep!

Don't forget, boy,

That's why they call us,

They call us

Groundhog! Groundhog!

Stand, Old Ivy, stand firm and strong.

Grand Old Ivy, hear the cheering throng.

Stand, Old Ivy, and never yield.

Rip, rip, rip the chipmunk off the field.

Finch is given a small office and Hedy is assigned as his secretary, but he realizes from her lack

of secretarial skills she is dangerous to be around; he arranges for her to cross paths with his

skirt-chasing boss, Mr. Gatch. Soon Gatch is transferred to Venezuela and Finch is promoted to

his job.

Paris Original The employees are invited to a company dance to celebrate the appointment of a new Vice-

President of Advertising. Hoping to entice Finch, Rosemary splurges on a Paris designer dress,

but all the other female employees, including Miss Jones, attend wearing the same dress.

I slipped out this afternoon

And bought some love insurance:

A most exclusive dress from gay Paree.

It's sleek and chic and magnifique

With sex beyond endurance.

It's me, it's me, it's absolutely me;

And why? One guy.

This irresistible Paris original

I'm wearing tonight,

I'm wearing tonight

'Specially for him.

This irresistible Paris original's

All paid for and mine;

I must look devine

'Specially for him.

Suddenly he will see me

And suddenly he'll go dreamy

And blame it all on his own

Masculine whim,

Never knowing that

This irresistible Paris original,

So temptingly tight

I'm wearing tonight

'Specially for him, for him.


I'm wearing tonight,

She's wearing tonight

And I could spit.

Some irresponsible dress manufacturer

Just didn't play fair.

I'm one of a pair,

And I could---oh no!


All slinky with sin;

Already slunk in

And I could die.

And I could kill her.


Tres sexy, n'est pas?

God damn it, voila

And I could spit.

Thirty-nine bucks I hand out

For something to make me stand out

And suddenly I've gone into mimeograph.

Some laugh!


This mass-produced crime,

I'm wearing tonight

For the very last time!

Rosemary Frump, who views Finch as the main rival to his own ambitions, arranges for Hedy and Finch to

be caught alone in Biggley's office. When Hedy kisses Finch, he suddenly realizes he loves

Rosemary. Rosemary arrives and thinks the worst when she spots Hedy in a towel because she's

used Biggley's shower, until Finch convinces her it is Rosemary he loves. Bobby Morse, who

was so adorably boyish as Finch, does a wonderful mime in this number, of being hit by cupid's

arrow and trying to tug it out. The second time Finch sings "what a crescendo", the orchestra

plays nine bars of Grieg's piano concerto while Finch stands transfixed by the thought of kissing

Rosemary.

Finch: Suddenly there is music

In the sound of your name:

Rosemary! Rosemary!

Was the melody locked inside me

Till at last out it came?

Rosemary! Rosemary!

Just imagine if we kissed!

What a crescendo, not to be missed.

As for the rest of my lifetime program,

Give me more of the same:

Rosemary! Rosemary!

There is wonderful music in the very sound

Of your name!

Rosemary: Ponty, what are you talking about?

Finch: Rosemary, the most wonderful thing has happened. Oh, can't you hear it? Can't you

hear it?

Suddenly there is music

In the sound of your name

Rosemary: I don't hear a thing.

Finch: Rosemary! It's all around me; it's like a beautiful pink sky!

Rosemary: Now, look here, J. Pierrepont Finch . . .

Finch: Rosemary, darling, will you please marry J. Pierrepont Finch?

Rosemary: Now I hear it! I hear it! I hear it!

Suddenly there is music

In the sound of your name.

J. Pierrepont!

Finch: Rosemary!

Just imagine if we kissed!

What a crescendo,

Both: Not to be missed.

Finch: As for the rest of my lifetime program,

Give me more of the same:

Rosemary! Rosemary!

Both: There is wonderful music in the very sound

Of your name!

Finch: Wait a minute, Rosemary. Hello, operator: give me the man who paints names on office

doors. Hello, name painter? This is Mr. Finch. I want my name on my door in gold leaf. Yes, J.

Pierrepont Finch. J. Pierrepont. No, no, all capitals. Block letters:

J. Pierrepont,

Vice President

In Charge of Advertising

F-I-N-C-H

The usual spelling.

J. Pierrepont

Boy, when you see it on your own door,

There is wonderful music

In the very sound

Of your name!

Biggley learns the new Vice-President of Advertising is from Old Ivy's rival college, a

"chipmunk", so he fires him and gives Finch the job. Now Rosemary will be Finch's secretary.

Rosemary is not very pleased that after Finch declares his love, he seems more excited about this

promotion than interested in her; and Frump plots revenge as the first act ends.

Cinderella, Darling As Act II opens, in a misunderstanding about Finch and Hedy, Rosemary quits, but Smitty begs

her to reconsider.

How often does it happen

That a secretary's boss

Wants to marry her?

Halleluia!

How often does the dream come true

Without a sign of conflict

Or barrier?

Halleluia!

Why treat the man

Like he was a typhoid carrier?

How often can you fly

From this land of carbon paper

To the land of flowered chinz?

Halleluia!

How often does a Cinderella

Get a crack at the prince?

Cinderella and the prince.

Don't you realize

You're a real live fairy tale,

A symbol devine?

So if not for your own sake,

Please darling, for mine.

Don't, don't, don't, Cinderella, darling,

Don't turn down the prince.

Don't rewrite your story.

You're the legend, the folk lore,

The working girl's dream of glory.

We were raised on you, darling,

And we've loved you ever since.

Don't mess up a major miracle;

Don't, Cinderella, don't turn down the prince.

Oh, let us live it with you,

Each hour of each day:

On from Bergdorf Goodman

To Elizabeth Arden

In the station wagon

Hurry from Twenty-One

To the Tarrytown PTA.

(No, New Rochelle.)

New Rochelle PTA.

Oh, do not leave us minus

Our vicarious bonus.

We want to see his highness

Married to your lowness.

On you, Cinderella, sits the onus;

So when you name the happy day,

Please phone us.

But don't, don't, don't, Cinderella, darling,


Why spoil our enjoyment?

You're the fable, the symbol

Of glorified unemployment.

We were raised on you, darling,

And we've loved you ever since.

Don't louse up our fav'rite fairy tale;

Don't, Cinderella,

Don't, don't, don't,

Don't, Cinderella,

Don't, don't, don't,

Don't, Cinderella, don't,


(All right. I'll give him one more chance.)

Halleluia.

As Vice-President of Advertising, Finch must come up with a "big idea" to promote the

company. Frump, pretending to be friends, offers the idea of a giveaway game show. Rosemary

and Finch make up.

Love From a Heart of Gold Hedy decides to leave the company as well, but Biggley begs her to stay:

Where will I find a treasure

Like the love from a heart of gold?

Ever trusting and sweet

And awaiting my pleasure,

Rain or shine, hot or cold.

Wealth far beyond all measure

Maybe here in my hands I'll hold.

Ah, but where will I find

That one treasure of treasures?

The love from a heart of gold.

Hedy gives Biggley 24 hours to come up with a suitable, non-secretarial job for her.

I Believe in You Prior to the big boardroom meeting, the executives gather in the executive washroom to plot

against Finch. Finch, meantime, looks into a mirror and gives himself a pep talk. This was very

cleverly staged with Finch facing the audience while he talked to himself, but really playing

directly to the audience; the orchestra played kazoos to mimic the sound of electric razors as the

executives shaved their faces, while worrying about how to stop Finch.

Executives: Gotta stop that man,

I gotta stop that man cold . . .

Or he'll stop me.

Big deal, big rocket,

Thinks he has the world

In his pocket.

Gotta stop, gotta stop,

Gotta stop that man.

Finch: Now there you are;

Yes, there's that face,

That face that somehow I trust.

It may embarrass you to hear me say it,

But say it I must, say it I must:

You have the cool, clear

Eyes of a seeker of wisdom and truth;

Yet there's that upturned chin

And that grin of impetuous youth.

Oh, I believe in you.

I believe in you.

I hear the sound of good, solid judgment

Whenever you talk;

Yet there's the bold, brave spring of the tiger

That quickens your walk.


I believe in you.

And when my faith in my fellow man

All but falls apart,

I've but to feel your hand grasping mine

And I take heart; I take heart

To see the cool, clear

Eyes of a seeker of wisdom and truth;

Yet, with the slam-bang tang

Reminiscent of gin and vermouth.


I believe in you.

Executives: Gotta stop that man,

Gotta stop that man . . .

Or he'll stop me.

Big wheel, big beaver,

Boiling hot

With front office fever.

Gotta stop, gotta stop,

Gotta stop that man.

Finch: Oh, I believe in you.

Executives: Don't let him be such a hero!

Finch: I believe in you.

You! You! Mwah!

It turns out that Biggley is well known to hate giveaway games shows, which Frump banked on,

but Finch is able to persuade him to try the idea by featuring Hedy as the Treasure Hunt Girl at

the presentation. The treasure is stock in the company and only Finch and Biggley are supposed

to know where it is hidden. However, when Hedy is asked on TV to swear on a Bible she doesn't

know where the prizes are hidden, she blurts out the ten locations. TV viewers watching the

broadcast storm the buildings, causing a lot of destruction as they try to find the hidden loot. And

all the blame goes to Finch, to the delight of Frump and the other executives.

Brotherhood of Man At the meeting where Finch has been summoned to be chewed out and probably fired, Finch

encounters Wally Womper, the Chairman. Finch is ready to sign his resignation and go back to

his job as window washer; but it turns out Womper started as a window washer as well and is

willing to hear Finch out. As they discuss the disaster, it emerges that the giveaway gameshow

was all Frump's idea. Frump is now the one in disgrace, as Finch reminds Womper of the kinship

with his fellow men:

Now, you may join the Elks, my friend,

And I may join the Shriners;

And other men may carry cards

As members of the Diners.

Still others wear a golden key

Or small Greek letter pin;

But I have learned there's one great club

That all of us are in.

There is a Brotherhood of Man,

A Benevolent Brotherhood of Man,

A noble tie that binds

All human hearts and minds

Into one Brotherhood of Man.

Your lifelong membership is free.

Keep agivin' each brother all you can.

Oh aren't you proud to be

In that fraternity,

The great big Brotherhood of Man?

So, Wally, before you consider firing everybody, remember this:

One man may seem incompetent,

Another not make sense,

While others look like quite a waste

Of company expense.

They need a brother's leadership,

So please don't do them in.

Remember mediocrity

Is not a mortal sin.

They're in the Brotherhood of Man,

Dedicated to giving all we can.

Oh, aren't you proud to be

In that fraternity,


You, you got me;

Me, I got you, you!

Oh, that noble feeling,

Feels like bells are pealing,

Down with double-dealing,

Oh Brother!

You, you got me;

Me, I got you, you!

Your lifelong membership is free.

Keep agivin' each brother all you can.

Oh aren't you proud to be

In that fraternity,


Womper announces his retirement as Chairman; he and his new wife, the former Hedy LaRue,

are leaving for a honeymoon trip around the world. Womper appoints Finch the new Chairman,

but Finch first checks with his wife, Rosemary, before he accepts. Rosemary says she doesn't

care if he's in the mailroom or the Chairman or President of the United States. Finch's ambition is

fired by this last suggestion.

Finale Frump appears outside, washing the windows as he reads his copy of the guidebook HOW TO

SUCCEED IN BUSINESS WITHOUT REALLY TRYING, as the executive sing about the

"departed" Frump, for whom they shed a "mournful tear". (In its only improvement over the

stage show, the last scene of the film shows Finch up to his old tricks, as a window washer at the

White House, where the actor playing the President looks like LBJ.)

We play it the company way;

Executive policy is by us okay.

Though for the departed we shed

A mournful tear,


We will still be here!

Documents

How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying- Full Script