How to Survive a Zombie Attack (2014)

By The Brave Citizens of Lawrence KS, and Free State Digital’s Zombie Survival Squad

1. Prepare Now!

2. Stock up on Fuzzy’s Tacos before the fight to maintain stamina. (It’s also national taco day. Coincidence? No.)

3. Don’t run out of power! Use the PowerAll kit from Sound Innovations to keep your Getaway car & electronics charged.

4. Knowledge is Power! Stop by Wild Territory Science and Nature Store to brush up on Native Wildlife, Geology, First Aid and more!

5. Save Money for after the attack! Trust a bank with a Zombie proof Plan. Lawrence Bank will be Great American Bank post zombie attack.

6. Take off the head of zombies when attacked. – Harlan E.

7. When faced with a zombie bearing down on you, don't forget the best trick in the book: Zombies are notoriously susceptible to the old "Look, what's that behind you!?!?" trick. Now, they get much madder once they realize you made them look, but by the time any zombie Killer worth his/her salt has had this opportunity they should have an axe 6" into the zombie's grey matter! – Aaron B.

8. Become a zombie! – Ann W.

9. Cardio! – Amber C.

10. The best way to survive a zombie is to dance like you don't have the brains to know any better! – Andrew L.

11. Gather as many supplies as possible, and get the heck out of the city into a more rural area where the likelihood of encountering packs of zombies would be much lower. – Andrew W. (Andrew W. would like it noted that he “would not want to leave Lawrence for just about anything.” Zombies are a pretty good exception.)

12. Dress & act like them. Make them think you are one of them. – Angela H.

13. Cardio. – April R.

14. Know your surroundings, have a machete, and know how to start a fire. You’ll need it to boil water, cook food, warmth, protection, etc! – Rachel M.

15. Make sure you get your flu shot. – Avery B.

16. Get really close to Woody Harrelson and Brad Pitt. – Barry K.

17. Behave like a zombie when near a real zombie. – Debra S.

18. While it may seem a little gruesome the best way to survive is to trap zombies. Then remove their jaws and hands and use them to carry supplies. Get enough of them you can chain them in a circle and walk them through large groups of zombies safely. – Angela K.

19. Make friends with Justin Bieber. The zombies with either be smart and steer clear or be smarter and only focus on attacking him. – Cassie F.

20. Become a Zombie, they will obviously survive. – Wade M.

21. Head to a defensible area. – Camera L.

22. Be a zombie yourself. Everybody loves a fellow zombie! – Paula H.

23. Stock up on water and packaged food that is not in cans so it is easier to transport. Always keep moving. - Lillian T.

24. Oatmeal Cookies. Zombies love oatmeal cookies. Always have some on hand to distract them. This will give you ample opportunity to run far. . .FAR. . .away. –Chris L.

25. Know where the nearest pawn shop is. – Sheila C.

26. Carry around a pack of sticky notes and pass out I.O.U's and keep moving! – Connie M.

27. Carry a Cross bow. – Steve C.

28. Be prepared with a hidden bunker, plenty of food and water, and shot gun shells in case they find you. Stay low and quiet, cover yourself with the stink of the dead. – Dale S.

29. Batteries & really funny movies & my Children’s Book! – Dalia M.

30. Rule 1: I would have to make sure that my group was full of people that were slower than me that when it came down to it, I would always be the one that gets away.Rule 2: (and most important) When push comes to shove, double tap! –Damon I.

31. Stock Up and Keep Out of Sight! – Danielle W.

32. To bug in instead of bugging out; that is to say: stay where you are and shelter in place. As people run form the hordes the predator instincts will make them follow the fleeing masses giving you and your team time and space to breath. – Don T.

33. Always sleep with your best running shoes on… - Debbie C.

34. Stay away from the zombies and don’t let them see or smell you. – Pradeep N.

35. Have all the undertakers tie their shoelaces together before they bury the dead. – Loretta O.

36. Run!!!!! – Devin Z.

37. Act like a zombie. – David R.

38. If you have to confront a zombie/zombies, dispatching them quietly is the only acceptable way. – D N.

39. Being prepared, having excellent survival skills and a high quality supply pack, and food preparation. – David V.

40. Always run! And don’t forget to laugh a little. – Elizabeth C.

41. Find a group of people that consists of a wide variety of skills. Find a secluded area with large/multiple shelters for living and access to clean water. Set a spiked pit parameter. Take it as it comes. – Emma M.

42. Speak softly and carry a big stick. – Erin A.

43. RUN!!!! – Arnie H.

44. Play dead. – Paul F.

45. Get armed! Guns and bullets are great, but eventually you will run out. Find knives, swords, axes or even pole axes. Make sure that you have something to cover your face! – Alan G.

46. Never give a Zombie a second chance. – Steve V.

47. Quality footwear – it’s too easy to forget just how vital shoes are in a post – apocalyptic zombie infested world. Let’s be sensible – high heels, bright colored “kicks” or $300 sandals will guarantee your (un)death. Always take your cue from a young Ice Cube, “Stalkin’, walkin’ in my big black boots.” – Daniel C.

48. Keep calm and carry on. – Graig N.

49. Pretend you’re a zombie too. – Julee G.

50. Hide, preferably in a place that the zombies wont be able to detect the delicious scent of your brains. – Haley N.

51. Rule #1: Cardio. If you can outrun a zombie, you can survive! – Heidi W.

52. Keep calm and zombie on. – Heather Y.

53. All you have to be is faster then the other person. – C H.

54. Look and smell like a zombie, go find Bill Murray, and play golf every day on the deserted LA golf courses. – Dustin H.

55. Stay fit and stay quiet. – Ian H.

56. Hack blindly with a machete. – Matt H.

57. Make sure Woody Harrelson is your friend. – Inga G.

58. Good solid group tactics are best but in the end you just need to be faster than the person next to you! Unless that’s your family! – Jack L.

59. Go to the mall and barricade the doors. – Jacoby W.

60. Don’t stay in one place for too long, if zombies have found you once, they will find you again. – Janet D.

61. Befriend a lot of smokers and run like hell! – Jaron C.

62. Put treadmills all around your house. – Jordan D.

63. Pretend like you’re one of them. Go along with the flow. And then…. ATTACK! – John K.

64. Weapons and food. – Jennifer K.

65. Nuke every zombie in an area, then that area will be clear for a long time. – Jennifer H.

66. Run. – Krista T.

67. Find an easy place to quickly fortify. The ideal place in Lawrence would be Home Depot. Use the forklift to move bunks of lumber against the entrances. Plus outside fenced in area to group crops, roof access, and lots of generators. You also have endless supply of weapons and the store is right next to a gas station. You use the receiving area as the only entrance which you can drive into. – Jon S.

68. Stockpile swords and machetes, you don’t have to reload a sword… and they’re quiet. Maybe stockpile some non perishable food too… if you have room? – Jason S.

69. Act like a member of the KU football team. – Jason T.

70. RUN!!! – Kimberly W.

71. The best way to survive a Zombie Apocalypse is to store food, supplies & first aid kits for my family, then look for a safe place to hideout! – Keshia A.

72. Check the back seat. – Kiana G.

73. Don’t be the slowest one running away. – David S.

74. Kill every Zombie possible. – Kersten M.

75. Get to or make a secure locations with plenty of food, water, and weapons. – Valkyrie S.

76. Say Hydrated and trip the person behind you! – Kisha S.

77. Make friends with slower people. – Brad B.

78. Stay fit and active… becoming out of shape will make you easier prey. – Nicole L.

79. Learn to shot a gun and train to run a marathon because you’re going to be shooting and running for your life. – Laura W.

80. Bash their legs out from under them then their heads then run! – Lisa T.

81. Run like there’s no tomorrow! – Lauren G.

82. Rule #1: Always check the back seat! – Lindy H.

83. Keep someone you don’t like in your group in case you need bait! – Sarah N.

84. Be very, very quiet. – Elizabeth C.

85. Dress and act like a zombie … who will know the difference??! – Linda V.

86. Well-enforced truck with a boat in tow. Allows for land and water transport and peace of mind during the night if you sleep on the boat in the middle of a lake or other body of water. – Lois S.

87. Stay calm and zombie on. – Jessica E.

88. Take a boat for a long trip. Zombies can’t get through water. – Lyne T.

89. Don’t get bitten! – Macy F.

90. Cardio! – Maile C.

91. Remove your brain. – Matt B.

92. Cardio fitness – Mark K.

93. Stick to the rivers. If you can get a boat and ride the rivers to the sea you have a better chance. Most rivers have stops along them where you can venture out for supplies, but by staying on the water you are less likely to encounter zombies. The Kansas River feeds to the Missouri, to the Mississippi, then to the gulf. SAFETY! – Matthew R.

94. I blend. – Marcie M.

95. Find Chris Hardwick. That sexy nerd has thought about this way too much, and has to have a better plan than anything I could come up with. – Mandy D.

96. Gather your family and rush to Lawrence Memorial Hospital ASAP. Helicopter pad, cafeteria, and medicine all in one place. Hide away in the north end of the hospital near the heli pad with enough food to last you until you can contact a nearby (assumed non – apocalyptic status) hospital to send a rescue chopper. In the meantime, one – two punch! – Megan B.

97. The best way to survive a zombie apocalypse is to, no matter what, aim for the head. They’ll go down easily if you aim for the head. – James H.

98. Fear the dead but be careful trusting the living. Are they a battle buddy or will they make you zombie bait? – Michele K.

99. Secure shelter, find supplies (food, water, weapons) and try to set up network of other survivors. – Mary O.

100. Stay inside and board up doors and windows. – Sara C.

101. Have a trusted group of prepared friends in place before the outbreak begins. – Monica S.

102. Carry a big knife. – Dan R.

103. It’s too late for you, but remember to get your kids vaccinated. – Douglas R.

104. The best way to survive is to have a good crossbow and plenty of bolts. You also need to have massive fire power and ammo. – George A.

105. Tear your clothes, glue some flies to your exposed skin, and learn to shamble: they’ll never suspect you’re not one of them. – Jonathan P.

106. The best way to survive a zombie apocalypse is to get a crossbow and stock up on canned food plus seeds to plant a garden when supplies run out. Learn how to make crossbow arrows. – Tashya T.

107. Don’t trust anybody. – Doug C.

108. Blend in. – Wendy E.

109. Join up with Daryl. – Rose C.

110. Cardio, Cardio, Cardio & shotgun! – Jennifer B.

111. RUN – Rebecca R.

112. The best way to survive is to gather supplies and head to Iceland. The hot springs make it a great place to grow food, the cool temperatures will freeze anything that isn’t cognitive enough to know how to stay warm. It is going to be hard to get there, yes, but it’s harder to survive in warmer places with higher populations. – Jennifer M.

113. Naps. – Amelia H.

114. The best way to survive a Zombie apocalypse is to be a Zombie or at the very least, make them think you are one of them. – Rita R.

115. RUN – Sarah M.

116. Hunker down with your family. – Sarah H.

117. Build a fortress at Burcham park. – Sara R.

118. Make sure you have a Gun & plenty of ammunition. – Priscilla J.

119. Never be alone, try to stay with a group, the more the merrier. There will always be someone watching you back and vise versa. Keep were you lay your head fortified and have people on look out. Most importantly never, never leave your group venerable. – Shawn C.

120. Keep singing the song “If I only had a Brain” from The Wizard of Oz. That way the Zombies will think there’s nothing for them to eat. – Sam H.

121. I hears someone say to me once to go fro the shopping malls and houses in the suburbs. Don’t do that. There’s too large of a population. Too many geeks will get you. Avoid the temptation and stick to rural routes. – Sadie K.

122. For all you mothers to be.... If your baby doesn't claw it's way out and your bundle of joy is non - cannibalistic , happy, pooping, screaming mess then: 1) make sure your Ergo is Kevlar and steel reinforced ; to allow for moms quick and agile movements while jumping, climbing , and dodging attacks. Also this keeps baby safe from general clawing or biting. 2)Make sure ergo has utility belt hookups for flares, explosives, h20, and snacks for the little one. 3)Also a scabbard at the rear to hold sword , axe , meat cleaver or whatever mom uses to dispatch those wild eyed flesh eaters.4) Also the beautifully crafted right and left side connected Ergo thigh holsters . 5) and don't forget a lovely all weather hood to protect baby from the elements. 6) always make sure to have plenty of ammo in your diaper bag.. – Steve N.

123. HEADSHOTS! – Maria S.

124. I always keep aluminum foil handy… so if you ever have to cover your head it’s right there… I have a package in every room! – Lori R.

125. Twinkies. – Wendy S.

126. Try not to die. – Stephanie W.

127. By shopping Downtown Lawrence in advance. Francis Sporting Goods for a good bat (so you can clear your way through the hoards of Zombies); Cindy's Simple Life for some provisions; Liberty Hall to rent some movies about Zombies in advance so you will know how to recognize them; Signs of Life to get a journal to document your adventure; Eccentricity so you can be fashionably dressed during the attack; Cottins Hardware for duct tape...for just about anything; Earthbound for a great survival kit sling purse; and Sunflower to get your bike tuned up in advance. I'm pretty sure Zombies don't know how to ride bikes. Oh, might want to pop into one of the local churches for some quiet prayer time, too. - Tami K.

128. Always carry a "head" of cauliflower and some ketchup with you. In case of a zombie attack, douse the cauliflower with ketchup & toss it to the zombies (think bloody brain). The zombies will be fooled just long enough for you to make a getaway, besides it would be good for the zombies to get some proper nutrition. – Todd K.

129. Your brain, if you don’t use it, you will lose it… literally… - Tiffany P.

130. Don’t get eaten. – Tina A.

131. To outrun the person behind you! You don’t have to be the fastest, you just can’t be the slowest. – Eric W.

132. Run faster than the other humans… - Tina T.

133. Go Daryl on their zombie booties. – Victoria S.

134. When water stops flowing, remember home water tanks may still have some scavenging. – William D.

135. Have a plan and plan ahead. Everyone must pre-plan for an imminent societal disaster. Without planning out every aspect of survival strategies, your preservation will be greatly compromised. – Travis L.

136. Travel in a group of around 10 people. In an ideal situation, each member would specialize in different areas that would ensure survival such as a doctor, a farmer, a hunter, etc. - William W.

137. Open a savings account and go to Fuzzy’s to eat tacos and jerky while powering up your cellular device to tweet and Instagram the zombie apocalypse. – Anthony G.

138. Don’t look back… unless you hear something! Then look back, and prepare for a jump scare! – Zachary S.

139. Surround your entire home with solar powered exercise treadmills and deep trenches. If zombies make it past the trenches, they will get stuck on the treadmills and walk till they fall apart. – Steve C.

140. Have a like-minded group, that way you can still survive if something happens to one person. – Telly G.

141. Hoard Water. – Jenny H.

142. Carry a Cross bow. – Steve C.

143. Get a gun. Steve C.

144. When in doubt, channel your inner Chuck Norris Missing in Action Mode! –Jeri J.

145. Have skills to grow and forage your own food, find your own water, and live off of a secluded piece of property North of Clinton Lake. – Emily L.

146. Head to Cabela’s and stock up at the first sign of Zombies taking over… - Tina T.

147. Jump-start an 18-wheeler or large (diesel) class A RV (or other large diesel/truck based RVs). You can burn oil (motor oil and vegetable oil) in a pinch if you need, and they're both big enough to smash through vehicles and crowds of zombies. You can live in the RV or make a temp shelter in the semi-trailer. – Jason J.